Emily Tulanowski

Night Meditation Essay- Final

At first glance, the book ​Night​ was not very appealing, but after reading it, I quickly put
my own life into perspective and assessed the value of one’s life. I did enjoy ​Night​, but I couldn’t
visualise Elie’s descriptions and story fully. This could have been because of the lack of visuals
or physical images. Sometimes, words cannot hit or elicit an audience as much because the
words need to be attached to something. They may not fully “believe” something. While reading
this, I often thought back to my life and compared it to Elie’s. When I thought back, whatever
something seemingly bad happened in my life (which is nothing compared to Elie’s
experiences), I realized that my life would never be like his, and I begun to feel very grateful
and reflectful on my life. In this writing piece, I would like to think about quotes and sections in
Night ​that made me reflect on my own life. Elie constantly battled himself over his faith in God,
as it waivered and deteriorated throughout every section of the book.

Moishe the Beadle tells Elie an important thing. On page 5 he says, “Man comes closer
to God through the questions he asks Him, he liked to say. Therein lies true dialogue. Man asks
and God replies. But we don't understand His replies. We cannot understand them. Because
they dwell in the depths of our souls and remain there until we die. The real answers, Eliezer,
you will find only within yourself.”
Moishe is telling Elie that when we pray, God answers us in a way that we don’t
understand, and we can’t mold them into the answers we want to receive. Moishe is saying that
we can’t rely and hope for God to tell us the answers or the meaning of something. We have to
find the words by ourselves. We can’t always have trust in a higher being in our religion. Based
on my religious standpoint, I rely on God as a backbone. I do things as if I won’t be “saved” by a
higher being. But when things get out of my control, I ask God for help.

Another section that provoked me was page 68. “But now, I no longer pleaded for
anything. I was no longer able to lament. On the contrary, I felt very strong. I was the accuser,
God the accused. My eyes had opened and I was alone, terribly alone in a world without God,
without man. Without love or mercy. I was nothing but ashes now,”
This quote resonates with me, but not fully. I have experienced one event which I felt
was a betrayal of God. Those who are religious have a tendency to blame God for all their
hardships ​and ​credit their prosperities to. Elie feels helpless and fully believes that no praise in
God will change his current situation of slowly dying. When I prayed to God for a difficult
situation, I did not get immediate change; I felt like God was not listening. In one week, things
turned around and became restored in some ways. I don’t know if this was an answer from God,
or if things happened by chance and nothing or no one influenced my situation.

The next quote that caught my attention was in section four. “Behind me, I heard the
same man asking: "Where is God now?" And I heard a voice within me answer him: "Where is
He? Here He is—He is hanging here on this gallows.... "
Elie is connecting the events he is witnessing to the help of God. Elie, being brought up
by religion and faith, is beginning to wonder if God has any influence. He is also wondering
about the existence of God. I can connect this with my moderately religious upbringing. I have
been very blessed in my life. But, I wonder sometimes if my blessings were a gift from God, or if
they were brought by the right conditions. I wonder if things were brought to me by chance or by
luck, two of which are also considered “imaginary” or “make- believe” by the public. Elie’s faith in
God initially is comparable to my belief in luck. Luck is something I always thought I had,
because I often won and raffles and prizes in school and lottery tickets. But, I feel like that
influence has been slowly lost and I do not pray that often, but when I do, it is something I want
to be changed or when something unfavorable happens.

The last piece that made me think was a quote in section three. “Some talked of God, of
his mysterious ways, of the sins of the Jewish people, and of their future deliverance. But I had
ceased to pray. How I sympathized with Job! I did not deny God's existence, but I doubted his
absolute justice.”
Some people are very religious throughout their lives, some forget their assigned
religion, and some are agnostic. In this case and point in the story, Elie thinks God’s reasoning
for allowing things to happen is not rightful. I was always a traditional follower of my religion;
unlike Elie, I have lost some faith. This may be because the measures of bad events in my life
are miniscule compared to Elie’s. All of Elie’s efforts of praying and believing in God took a lot of
effort, whereas mine took very little. I think it depends on one’s personal experiences and
thought process to truly determine their faith in God and how they choose to live their life.
 All in all, ​Night​ ​was a reminder to question my faith and reflect upon my life so far. The
book made me understand how very fortunate I am. Whether the course of someone’s life is
decided by chance or the guidance of God, we will never know. You have to find the answers
within yourselves through everything, because the inner voice leading you into the right direction
is always and will always be virtuous.