1

00:00:00,511 --> 00:00:02,585

<i>Kids, as long as I'd known
your Uncle Barney,</i>

2
00:00:02,753 --> 00:00:05,546
<i>he'd always had some pretty
strong opinions on relationships.</i>

3
00:00:05,714 --> 00:00:08,314
{\pos(192,210)}Your girlfriend?
She's your girl friend?!

4
00:00:08,578 --> 00:00:11,545
{\pos(192,210)}She's a girl and a friend?

5
00:00:13,188 --> 00:00:15,181
Do not humanize the enemy.

6
00:00:15,826 --> 00:00:17,376
But nice to meet you.

7
00:00:18,015 --> 00:00:21,813
<i>And yet, in the fall of 2009,
he was the one with the girlfriend.</i>

8
00:00:22,083 --> 00:00:23,314
Go ahead. Open it.

9
00:00:26,271 --> 00:00:27,971
It's my porn collection!

10
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,117
Just kidding.
That would be weird.

11
00:00:30,242 --> 00:00:32,573
- It's your porn collection.
- It's my porn collection!

12
00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,195
I'm giving you my porn.

13
00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:37,286
Now that things are so great
with Robin, I don't need it anymore.
14
00:00:37,530 --> 00:00:39,247
You are voluntarily...

15
00:00:40,418 --> 00:00:42,239
giving up your porn?

16
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,394
You really are serious.

17
00:00:44,519 --> 00:00:46,454
- That's obvious.
- What does that mean?

18
00:00:46,579 --> 00:00:48,882
Nothing, it's just you know,
you got relationship gut.

19
00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:50,050
What?!

20
00:00:50,565 --> 00:00:54,429
I do not "got relationship gut".
That is ridiculous.

21
00:00:54,597 --> 00:00:57,084
It's no big deal. I mean,
once you're dating someone,

22
00:00:57,209 --> 00:01:00,200
it's natural to let things go
a little bit. Trust me,

23
00:01:00,325 --> 00:01:01,555
we've been there.

24
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:03,830
Boy, did a pudge out for a while.

25
00:01:05,429 --> 00:01:06,649
We should get going.

26
00:01:07,222 --> 00:01:09,277
Good-bye, my sweet, beloved friends.

27
00:01:09,577 --> 00:01:11,658
You have always been there for me.

28
00:01:11,783 --> 00:01:13,133
You'll be missed.

29
00:01:13,380 --> 00:01:14,741
He's talking to the porn.

30
00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:17,977
- Bye, Robin. See you.
- Bye, guys.

31
00:01:18,211 --> 00:01:20,177
God, look at these videos.

32
00:01:20,302 --> 00:01:21,419
<i>Space Orgy?</i>

33
00:01:21,544 --> 00:01:24,083
<i>Horny Co-Ed Surprise Party 23?</i>

34
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:26,046
You'd think after
the first 22 parties,

35
00:01:26,171 --> 00:01:28,771
the co-eds wouldn't be
surprised anymore.

36
00:01:30,448 --> 00:01:32,467
We can get rid of these for you.

37
00:01:34,211 --> 00:01:36,295
It's not a problem.
I'll take care of them.

38
00:01:36,420 --> 00:01:39,387
Are you sure? I mean, no biggie.
We can just swing by the back alley

39
00:01:39,512 --> 00:01:41,111
and drop the box in the Dumpster.

40
00:01:41,236 --> 00:01:43,728
I see six of the words you just
said on this video label.
41
00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:46,351
Seriously, it's not a big deal.
I will take care of it.

42
00:01:46,476 --> 00:01:48,576
- Cause I mean...
- Leave them!

43
00:01:50,790 --> 00:01:52,529
You know, in a way it sad, right?

44
00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:55,562
Barney's giving up his porn.
He's got relationship gut.

45
00:01:55,687 --> 00:01:58,011
They eat at the same diner
every night.

46
00:01:58,136 --> 00:02:00,419
It's, like, the end of Barney Stinson
as we know him.

47
00:02:00,544 --> 00:02:03,444
- So what? They're happy.
- We gotta go. Later.

48
00:02:06,603 --> 00:02:08,820
- So what'd you get?
- I got <i>Squat.</i>

49
00:02:08,945 --> 00:02:10,980
What are you...?
I thought I saw you take one.

50
00:02:11,105 --> 00:02:12,855
I did. It's called <i>Squat.</i>

51
00:02:18,709 --> 00:02:20,113
<i>ArchiSexTure.</i>

52
00:02:21,778 --> 00:02:24,420
That is no how you spell
"Buckminster Fuller."

53
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,545
<i>Kids, pornography is bad,</i>

54
00:02:26,670 --> 00:02:30,066
<i>and so I was getting rid of that
vile pornography right away...</i>

55
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:33,319
I am getting rid of this vile
pornography right away.

56
00:02:34,010 --> 00:02:36,160
<i>When something terrible happened.</i>

57
00:02:58,494 --> 00:02:59,929
<i>ArchiSexTure...</i>

58
00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:04,892
If you are watching this tape,
and I knew you'd pick this one...

59
00:03:05,017 --> 00:03:07,316
then you are now
in possession of my porn.

60
00:03:07,441 --> 00:03:09,269
This can only mean
one of two things,

61
00:03:09,394 --> 00:03:12,108
either I'm dead, or
I'm in a committed relationship.

62
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:16,052
If I'm dead,
I want you to honor my memory

63
00:03:17,253 --> 00:03:19,250
by taking my body to the Hamptons

64
00:03:19,375 --> 00:03:21,367
and recreating <i>Weekend at Bernie's.</i>

65
00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:23,627
I want to dance.

66
00:03:23,921 --> 00:03:25,955
I want to have sex with a girl.

67
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,873
And I want to go fishing.

68
00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:31,759
If, on the other hand,
I'm in a committed relationship,

69
00:03:32,125 --> 00:03:35,464
then as your best friend,
I have only one request.

70
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,626
Please, for the love of God,

71
00:03:38,930 --> 00:03:40,470
get me out of it!

72
00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:42,663
{\1c&H7f1ae7&}Synchro: Mickeyte{\c}

73
00:03:42,788 --> 00:03:45,892
{\1c&H18dfff&}Traduction: Dark_Chii,
Eomyn & MiniBen314{\c}

74
00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:47,660
{\1c&H0000ff&}Relecture: MiniBen314{\c}

75
00:03:47,785 --> 00:03:50,187
<i>{\1c&H00ff00&}How I Met Your Mother
5x07 - The Rough Patch{\c}</i>

76
00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:53,239
<i>{\1c&H87692e&}par la "Have You Met Team"
pour www.forom.com{\c}</i>

77
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:56,527
I might look happy,
but don't believe it.

78
00:03:56,835 --> 00:03:59,235
Barney Stinson
is meant to be single.

79
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:00,531
So please,

80
00:04:00,656 --> 00:04:03,263
if you value my best-friendship...
that's right Marshall,

81
00:04:03,388 --> 00:04:05,674
I'm his bestriend,
how does that feel?

82
00:04:05,799 --> 00:04:07,580
Then get me out of this.

83
00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:11,012
And finally, since you were
expecting some porn...

84
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,021
No, baby, don't worry.

85
00:04:18,146 --> 00:04:20,696
The flashing green
light means it's off.

86
00:04:22,874 --> 00:04:25,178
{\pos(192,210)}Are we sure he was finished talking?

87
00:04:25,303 --> 00:04:28,258
{\pos(192,230)}Look, there's no reason we should
take this seriously, right?

88
00:04:28,383 --> 00:04:30,773
{\pos(192,230)}Of course not. This is an old tape.

89
00:04:30,898 --> 00:04:32,480
{\pos(192,230)}Barney is happy with Robin.

90
00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:35,640
{\pos(192,210)}<i>But over the next couple weeks,
I started to notice things.</i>

91
00:04:35,765 --> 00:04:38,110
<i>Barney and Robin stopped
having crazy adventures.</i>

92
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,069
So what'd you guys do last night?

93
00:04:40,194 --> 00:04:42,874
{\pos(192,210)}I wanted to go to a concert.
He wanted to go to a party.

94
00:04:42,999 --> 00:04:45,903
{\pos(192,190)}Obviously, we couldn't do
what just one of us wanted, so,

95
00:04:46,028 --> 00:04:48,120
{\pos(192,210)}we just stayed in,
watched a movie on cable.

96
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,288
{\pos(192,210)}It was Legen... wait for it...

97
00:04:51,473 --> 00:04:52,667
{\pos(192,210)}ds of the Fall.

98
00:04:53,439 --> 00:04:54,939
{\pos(192,210)}<i>Legends of the Fall!</i>

99
00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:57,600
{\pos(192,210)}It was okay.

100
00:04:58,775 --> 00:05:00,725
{\pos(192,210)}<i>Barney stopped being himself.</i>

101
00:05:01,019 --> 00:05:03,004
{\pos(192,210)}I'm chatting up this girl over there

102
00:05:03,129 --> 00:05:05,972
{\pos(192,210)}and I could use a little help
landing the plane.

103
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:08,297
{\pos(192,210)}Sorry, I'm my own wingman tonight.

104
00:05:11,930 --> 00:05:14,689
{\pos(192,210)}<i>And Robin got annoyed
at everything he said.</i>

105
00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:16,357
So, how are you two?
106
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:19,818
{\pos(192,210)}- So great. Relationships are the best.
- Shut up.

107
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:22,655
{\pos(192,210)}- The sharing, the compromise,
- Shut up...

108
00:05:23,001 --> 00:05:25,724
{\pos(192,210)}the monogamy, can't beat it.

109
00:05:26,353 --> 00:05:27,453
{\pos(192,210)}Catchphrase!

110
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:31,363
{\pos(192,210)}<i>But the worse they got...</i>

111
00:05:31,488 --> 00:05:32,538
{\pos(192,210)}I'm full...

112
00:05:34,164 --> 00:05:36,419
{\pos(192,210)}<i>The more they kept saying
things were great.</i>

113
00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:39,835
{\pos(192,210)}<i>Now, the truth is, Barney and Robin only
kind of let themselves go a little bit.</i>

114
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:41,701
{\pos(192,210)}<i>But I sware after a few more weeks,</i>

115
00:05:41,826 --> 00:05:43,776
<i>to us, they seemed like this.</i>

116
00:05:45,709 --> 00:05:47,009
I'll be there...

117
00:05:48,216 --> 00:05:49,316
in a minute.

118
00:05:55,819 --> 00:05:58,441
- They're killing each other.
- They love each other.

119
00:05:58,609 --> 00:06:01,876
Barney and Robin love each other, but
they're not Barney and Robin anymore.

120
00:06:02,001 --> 00:06:05,499
- They're the fat guy and the old lady.
- That's my favorite 70s detective show.

121
00:06:05,624 --> 00:06:07,156
Look, it's so clear.

122
00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:10,852
Barney's been overeating because
he hates being tied down like this.

123
00:06:10,977 --> 00:06:14,164
And Robin's stressing out because
she hates what Barney's turned into.

124
00:06:14,289 --> 00:06:15,625
They're a perfect match.

125
00:06:15,793 --> 00:06:18,169
Maybe that's the problem.
Maybe they're too similar.

126
00:06:18,533 --> 00:06:20,972
It must be tough having two
alpha dogs in one relationship.

127
00:06:21,097 --> 00:06:22,955
We two are alpha dog
in our realtionship.

128
00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:24,130
Sure we do.

129
00:06:24,569 --> 00:06:26,761
If they're not happy,
why don't they just break up?

130
00:06:26,929 --> 00:06:29,832
Because they're too stubborn. Neither
one of them wants to be the first

131
00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:33,098
to admit that they want out. They're
playing Relationship Chicken.

132
00:06:33,223 --> 00:06:35,501
I think Barney ate
the relationship chicken.

133
00:06:36,105 --> 00:06:37,414
It's just a rough patch.

134
00:06:37,539 --> 00:06:41,277
It takes time getting used to being
with someone else. And they're both...

135
00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:43,486
- What the nice word for selfish?
- Independant.

136
00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:46,197
Independant. Every relationship
goes through this.

137
00:06:46,538 --> 00:06:49,389
It's true...
I have this astronaut friend,

138
00:06:49,514 --> 00:06:51,314
totally loved his fianc�e.

139
00:06:51,439 --> 00:06:54,098
And then, the day before his
mission she caught him

140
00:06:54,223 --> 00:06:57,051
like, four other chicks,
a couple of dudes.

141
00:06:57,176 --> 00:06:58,859
Things got really tense.

142
00:06:58,984 --> 00:07:01,295
Finally she ended up sneaking
onto the space shuttle...

143
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:04,413
- Are you talking about <i>Space Orgy?</i>
- Yes, I am.
144
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:07,218
It's just a rough patch.
Just let things run their course.

145
00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:10,554
- She's right.
- Two-to-one, Ted. Leave them alone

146
00:07:11,252 --> 00:07:14,102
<i>So I did leave them alone.
But that weekend...</i>

147
00:07:15,645 --> 00:07:18,749
Have you noticed how beef ribs
used to always be disgusting,

148
00:07:18,874 --> 00:07:22,775
and then recently, they found a way
to make them really delicious instead?

149
00:07:23,535 --> 00:07:26,199
I'm going to go ahead
and ask you this head-on.

150
00:07:26,324 --> 00:07:28,771
- Are you happy with Robin?
- Are you kidding?!

151
00:07:28,896 --> 00:07:30,694
How could I not be happy with Robin?

152
00:07:30,819 --> 00:07:33,036
- It's Robin!
- So are you happy?

153
00:07:33,204 --> 00:07:37,208
I can't believe you would even ask me
that. I mean yes, we fight all the time,

154
00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:40,133
but you know what they say
about lationships,

155
00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:42,300
"Every moment's a battle".

156
00:07:43,214 --> 00:07:44,429
So you're happy?

157
00:07:44,554 --> 00:07:47,427
And you know what goes
hand in handith fighting?

158
00:07:47,730 --> 00:07:48,980
The makeup sex.

159
00:07:49,352 --> 00:07:50,565
Which is...

160
00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:52,560
different

161
00:07:52,685 --> 00:07:55,015
when you're in a loving,
long-term relationship.

162
00:07:56,319 --> 00:07:57,727
Heads we have sex,

163
00:07:58,339 --> 00:08:01,397
tails we order a whole pizza
and just lay here moaning.

164
00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:03,190
Great. Let the coin decide.

165
00:08:06,631 --> 00:08:08,487
- Which was pizza again?
- Tails.

166
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:09,806
It was tails.

167
00:08:11,260 --> 00:08:12,260
Sex...

168
00:08:12,669 --> 00:08:15,467
Am I right?
Thank God that's mostly over.

169
00:08:17,446 --> 00:08:19,446
I'm still hungry.
You hungry?

170
00:08:20,793 --> 00:08:22,543
We have to break them up.

171
00:08:26,576 --> 00:08:29,842
{\PUB}You're right. Barney and Robin
are miserable together

172
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,992
but they're too
stubborn to admit it.

173
00:08:32,117 --> 00:08:34,551
- We have to get them to break up.
- How do we do that?

174
00:08:34,676 --> 00:08:35,826
We unleash...

175
00:08:36,314 --> 00:08:37,349
the Kraken.

176
00:08:38,050 --> 00:08:40,194
<i>Kids, as you know, earlier that year</i>

177
00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:42,682
<i>I'd learned that Lily
had broken up not one,</i>

178
00:08:42,807 --> 00:08:43,807
<i>not two,</i>

179
00:08:44,129 --> 00:08:46,429
<i>but seven of my past relationships.</i>

180
00:08:46,850 --> 00:08:48,566
{\pos(192,210)}Forget it. I'm retired.

181
00:08:48,691 --> 00:08:51,479
{\pos(192,210)}- I'm out of the game.
- But nobody's better than you.

182
00:08:51,604 --> 00:08:54,364
{\pos(192,210)}I'm telling you,
I swore off that racket.
183
00:08:54,489 --> 00:08:55,794
{\pos(192,210)}I've gone legit.

184
00:08:55,919 --> 00:08:57,244
{\pos(192,210)}I'm a matchmaker now.

185
00:08:57,412 --> 00:08:59,830
- Set me up with someone.
- I'm just starting out.

186
00:09:00,104 --> 00:09:01,810
Please. You've got to break them up.

187
00:09:01,935 --> 00:09:04,656
- This relationship is killing them.
- I know it is, but

188
00:09:04,781 --> 00:09:07,531
I've learned my lesson.
No more interfering.

189
00:09:07,830 --> 00:09:10,200
- Let things run their course.
- It's two-to-one.

190
00:09:10,325 --> 00:09:11,717
Yes, but the one is me.

191
00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:16,889
We don't need her.
We can break them up on our own.

192
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,057
How?

193
00:09:18,545 --> 00:09:21,209
Remember when Robin and I
were dating? What was the one

194
00:09:21,334 --> 00:09:23,187
big thing that really
freaked her out?

195
00:09:25,609 --> 00:09:27,359
You cannot do this to me.
196
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:31,835
- What are you talking about?
- This! This is what I'm talking about.

197
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:33,614
What is this doing in my champagne?

198
00:09:33,996 --> 00:09:36,684
If we make Robin think for even
a second that Barney is proposing,

199
00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:39,783
- she'll lose it and they'll break up.
- That's crazy. Why don't we just,

200
00:09:39,908 --> 00:09:43,248
like, lead Barney into temptation?
We'll find some hot woman hit on him.

201
00:09:47,905 --> 00:09:49,455
Okay, the ring thing.

202
00:09:55,172 --> 00:09:56,970
- Stakeout van.
- What?

203
00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:59,671
We should've gotten a stakeout van.
We could've ordered pizza,

204
00:09:59,796 --> 00:10:01,856
look through big binoculars
and said,

205
00:10:01,981 --> 00:10:04,378
"This ain't that I signed up for",
stuff like that.

206
00:10:04,503 --> 00:10:06,103
Here comes the waiter.

207
00:10:06,775 --> 00:10:08,690
- Please shut up.
- What?

208
00:10:09,752 --> 00:10:11,818
I thought you said something, sorry.

209
00:10:17,558 --> 00:10:19,396
Is that an engagement ring?

210
00:10:20,395 --> 00:10:21,445
Are you...?

211
00:10:22,778 --> 00:10:25,499
That is not. They must have
delered it to the wrong table.

212
00:10:26,337 --> 00:10:28,794
Can you imagine us getting married?

213
00:10:31,007 --> 00:10:32,778
We are committed to each other.

214
00:10:32,903 --> 00:10:34,967
Most of your stuff is
already at my apartment.

215
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:38,011
- It might make taxes easier.
- It'd speed up your citizenship.

216
00:10:38,377 --> 00:10:42,183
- "Scherbatsky" is so hard to spell.
- My mom would be so happy.

217
00:10:44,091 --> 00:10:46,479
- Yeah, I guess so.
- Yeah, no reason not to.

218
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:49,523
- We're getting married!
- Not so loud, geez.

219
00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:52,276
What did you do?
I am furious right now!

220
00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:54,778
- This is so wrong!
- Will you be my maid of honor?
221
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,614
Oh, my God! I would love to!

222
00:10:58,961 --> 00:11:00,701
Are you out of your mind?!

223
00:11:01,018 --> 00:11:04,121
You knew they were playing Relationship
Chicken, and what did you do?

224
00:11:04,463 --> 00:11:06,957
You put an engagement ring
in front of them!

225
00:11:07,507 --> 00:11:10,105
Okay, that's it.
I'm taking over.

226
00:11:10,950 --> 00:11:12,660
Coming out of retirement

227
00:11:12,785 --> 00:11:14,673
for one, last breakup.

228
00:11:15,757 --> 00:11:18,140
- How are we going to do it?
- These guys are in so deep,

229
00:11:18,265 --> 00:11:20,158
just one fight ain't going to do it.

230
00:11:20,283 --> 00:11:22,886
We need to reignite
the four biggest fights

231
00:11:23,011 --> 00:11:24,850
they've ever been in all at once.

232
00:11:25,402 --> 00:11:28,270
Number one,
The Battle of the Dirty Dishes.

233
00:11:31,677 --> 00:11:34,985
Number two,
The Ex-Girlfriend Conflict.
234
00:11:36,974 --> 00:11:38,989
Don't you know that girl over there?

235
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,625
No, I don't think so.

236
00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:43,650
No, in fact, I have definitely not...
It's Meg.

237
00:11:44,922 --> 00:11:47,456
I am certainly not comparing
you two in my mind right now.

238
00:11:48,349 --> 00:11:50,792
- Will you get that for me? Please?
- Really?

239
00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:57,257
Number three,
The Star Wars Altercation.

240
00:11:57,681 --> 00:12:00,052
Isn't it time you got rid
of your stupid doll?

241
00:12:00,516 --> 00:12:02,888
It's not a doll.
It's a stormtrooper.

242
00:12:03,583 --> 00:12:04,931
He's wearing a diaper.

243
00:12:05,297 --> 00:12:07,559
It's not a diaper,
it's protective armor.

244
00:12:07,914 --> 00:12:10,395
Stormtrooper?
More like storm-pooper.

245
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:11,563
Stop it.

246
00:12:13,308 --> 00:12:15,941
It sounds like your storm-pooper
here needs a changing.

247
00:12:16,066 --> 00:12:18,592
- You know what? I'm sick of it.
- I didn't say anything.

248
00:12:18,717 --> 00:12:20,847
Of the jokes about the magic,
the stormtrooper...

249
00:12:20,972 --> 00:12:22,672
And of course the biggie,

250
00:12:22,797 --> 00:12:24,827
The Canadian/American War.

251
00:12:25,429 --> 00:12:27,454
Thank God that song's over.

252
00:12:27,886 --> 00:12:29,831
Who the hell was
that old lady singing?

253
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,335
Okay, you know that Neil Young
is my favorite musician.

254
00:12:34,304 --> 00:12:36,039
Was that the same old lady
who played

255
00:12:36,164 --> 00:12:38,740
Archie Bunker's wife in All
in the Family, or just sound-alike?

256
00:12:38,865 --> 00:12:41,325
Neil Young is a Canadian treasure.

257
00:12:41,663 --> 00:12:43,970
Do not make fun of Neil Young.

258
00:12:44,139 --> 00:12:48,142
I would never make fun of a defenseless
old lady with vocal cord paralysis...

259
00:12:54,138 --> 00:12:55,148
I got it.

260
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:57,420
I got it. We e-mail them pictures

261
00:12:57,545 --> 00:12:59,571
reminding them
of each of these fights.

262
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:00,696
You child.

263
00:13:00,942 --> 00:13:03,281
Here's how it goes down.
They're at the diner...

264
00:13:04,013 --> 00:13:06,939
<i>First, rekindling
the Canadian-American debate,</i>

265
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:10,011
<i>Ontario native Alan Thicke
stops by the table.</i>

266
00:13:12,293 --> 00:13:14,126
- Alan Thicke?
- Right.

267
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,086
Robin knew him back
when she was a singer.

268
00:13:16,601 --> 00:13:20,002
And they still keep in touch.
I already got his number off her phone.

269
00:13:20,127 --> 00:13:21,800
Seriously... amateurs.

270
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:25,554
<i>So Alan Thicke restarts
the Canada/US fight.</i>

271
00:13:26,238 --> 00:13:28,849
<i>Right at that moment,
Crazy Meg shows up.</i>
272
00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:32,572
<i>Then, a stormtrooper happens
to walk by the window.</i>

273
00:13:32,697 --> 00:13:35,338
<i>And just when they can't take
anything more,</i>

274
00:13:35,463 --> 00:13:38,468
<i>a busboy walks by
with a tray full of what?</i>

275
00:13:38,966 --> 00:13:40,116
<i>Dirty dishes.</i>

276
00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:52,831
This is your masterpiece.

277
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,667
We're getting a stakeout van!

278
00:13:55,951 --> 00:13:57,420
A station wagon?

279
00:13:57,545 --> 00:13:59,838
Really? You rented a station wagon?

280
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,883
- A van cost, like, 25 bucks more.
- A station wagon?

281
00:14:05,369 --> 00:14:07,137
Greetings, Will Robinson!

282
00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:08,930
Where's the birthday boy or girl?

283
00:14:09,435 --> 00:14:10,535
Climb on in.

284
00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:13,894
- What the hell is this?
- They didn't have any stormtroopers,

285
00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:16,313
so I had to get a different robot.
This'll still work.

286
00:14:16,655 --> 00:14:19,608
Different robot?
Stormtroopers aren't robots.

287
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:23,111
Of course they're robots!
"Must kill Luke Skywalker."

288
00:14:23,653 --> 00:14:26,823
- Nobody says that in Star Wars at all.
- That's a really lousy robot voice.

289
00:14:27,309 --> 00:14:29,557
Someone order an
extra large sausage?

290
00:14:29,682 --> 00:14:31,828
One of Barney's videos
starts off just like that.

291
00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:34,496
Barney's ordering...
five of something.

292
00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:36,674
I don't know if
it's gonna fit in here.

293
00:14:36,799 --> 00:14:38,543
Now you're just quoting the video.

294
00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,836
Still ordering. Waiter's taking out
a second pad.

295
00:14:40,961 --> 00:14:42,985
We need it in here.
We're on a stakeout.

296
00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:44,471
Shouldn't you be in a van?

297
00:14:44,596 --> 00:14:46,510
- A van cost more.
- Thank you!

298
00:14:46,679 --> 00:14:48,778
Score me a slice, Will Robinson!

299
00:14:48,903 --> 00:14:51,436
You get a stain on that costume,
they're gonna charge us.

300
00:14:51,561 --> 00:14:53,434
Will you just chill about money.

301
00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:57,187
- Let the stormtrooper have a slice.
- It's not a stormtrooper!

302
00:14:59,314 --> 00:15:01,149
Sorry I'm late.
I was looking for a van.

303
00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:02,817
- Thank you!
- $25!

304
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:05,880
- So should I go say hi to Robin?
- Not yet, get in the car.

305
00:15:06,208 --> 00:15:07,572
So wait...

306
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:11,195
When they blew up the Death Star,
knowing full well there were thousands

307
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,787
of stormtroopers on it,
those were people?

308
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:16,986
It was called the Death Star.
They knew what they were getting into.

309
00:15:17,111 --> 00:15:19,680
I don't want to play the
"I'm Alan Thicke" card,
310
00:15:19,805 --> 00:15:21,891
but I really do have
a dinner to get to, so...

311
00:15:22,016 --> 00:15:23,796
Someone has got
to take this sausage!

312
00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:26,716
Were you in that video?
Were you the guy with the farmer tan?

313
00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:29,464
Jonesin' for some'za, Will Robinson!

314
00:15:29,589 --> 00:15:32,889
- Come on, I'm Alan Thicke!
- This ain't what I signed out for.

315
00:15:33,527 --> 00:15:35,684
You know what? Everyone, stop!

316
00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:38,264
Alan Thicke, shut up!
Marshall, it's a station wagon.

317
00:15:38,389 --> 00:15:40,730
Get over it!
Ted, stop talking about porn!

318
00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:43,942
And for the love of God, somebody get
the stormtrooper some pizza!

319
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,570
- It's not a stormtrooper!
- Crap!

320
00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:49,464
They see us!

321
00:15:56,979 --> 00:15:58,729
{\PUB}Are you sure they saw us?

322
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:03,082
Can I go talk to Barney now?
I'm so excited!

323
00:16:03,207 --> 00:16:05,589
Do you really think
he's going to propose to me?

324
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:08,717
Forget it, Crazy Meg,
we've been made.

325
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:11,112
{\pos(192,210)}If we try anything now,
they're gonna know it's us.

326
00:16:11,237 --> 00:16:14,142
{\pos(192,210)}- I think we should all just go home...
- This is my masterpiece.

327
00:16:14,543 --> 00:16:17,101
{\pos(192,210)}So what if they saw us?
It'll still work.

328
00:16:17,269 --> 00:16:19,082
{\pos(192,210)}Stop it. We'll think
of something else.

329
00:16:19,207 --> 00:16:21,105
Let me repeat: "I am Alan Thicke."

330
00:16:21,787 --> 00:16:23,565
You're Alan Thicke?!

331
00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:27,861
Alan Thicke, you're up.
Get on out there.

332
00:16:29,036 --> 00:16:31,240
<i>And so, Lily followed through
with her plan.</i>

333
00:16:32,308 --> 00:16:33,758
<i>First, Alan Thicke.</i>

334
00:16:34,834 --> 00:16:36,434
<i>Followed by Crazy Meg.</i>

335
00:16:37,504 --> 00:16:38,804
<i>Then, the robot.</i>

336
00:16:40,034 --> 00:16:41,134
<i>And finally,</i>

337
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:42,768
<i>the dirty dishes.</i>

338
00:16:45,578 --> 00:16:47,228
<i>But by the end of it...</i>

339
00:16:48,685 --> 00:16:51,004
They're kissing?
They shouldn't be kissing!

340
00:16:51,129 --> 00:16:52,553
Why isn't this working?

341
00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:54,221
Because they're in love.

342
00:16:56,891 --> 00:16:58,600
It really was just a rough patch.

343
00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:01,728
What the hell am I doing?

344
00:17:03,947 --> 00:17:05,899
This whole thing was a mistake.

345
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,487
So... any of you dudes
want to get high?

346
00:17:12,842 --> 00:17:15,033
I never thought I'd be
saying this tonight, but...

347
00:17:15,339 --> 00:17:17,161
to Barney and Robin,
the happy couple.

348
00:17:18,603 --> 00:17:21,498
<i>That was the moment we learned
that relationships take hard work,</i>
349
00:17:22,104 --> 00:17:24,342
<i>but eventually,
everything will work out.</i>

350
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:27,796
- Where's Barney?
- We broke up.

351
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:29,740
<i>And that was the moment we unlearned</i>

352
00:17:29,865 --> 00:17:32,342
<i>that other lesson we had just
learned a few seconds earlier.</i>

353
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,053
<i>You see, earlier that night,
when Lily thought</i>

354
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:38,682
<i>Barney and Robin had spotted her,
this is what they really saw.</i>

355
00:17:41,309 --> 00:17:44,353
Why do that fat guy
and old lady keep sta...?

356
00:17:48,349 --> 00:17:49,513
That's us!

357
00:17:50,593 --> 00:17:51,643
Look at us.

358
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,405
Did we always look this awful?

359
00:17:56,429 --> 00:17:57,979
Robin, I'm not happy.

360
00:17:59,053 --> 00:18:00,476
I mean, I wish I was.

361
00:18:00,601 --> 00:18:03,717
Nothing would make me happier
than being happy, but...
362
00:18:03,842 --> 00:18:05,083
I'm not.

363
00:18:05,899 --> 00:18:08,337
What are we doing wrong?
We love each other.

364
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:12,841
{\pos(192,210)}If this don't work, what will?
We're so similar.

365
00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:15,469
We both like scotch.
We're both awesome.

366
00:18:15,912 --> 00:18:19,306
You know, maybe that's it. Maybe
there's just too much awesome here.

367
00:18:19,759 --> 00:18:20,759
Exactly.

368
00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:23,884
Two awesomes cancel
each other out, and...

369
00:18:24,997 --> 00:18:27,147
I'm tired of being cancelled out.

370
00:18:27,663 --> 00:18:28,663
Me, too.

371
00:18:31,222 --> 00:18:32,611
Are we breaking up?

372
00:18:33,551 --> 00:18:34,571
I think so.

373
00:18:36,992 --> 00:18:37,992
Crap.

374
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:40,556
Now comes the next part.

375
00:18:40,826 --> 00:18:43,789
The part where you and can't
go back to being friends.

376
00:18:46,089 --> 00:18:47,939
Maybe this isn't a breakup.

377
00:18:48,770 --> 00:18:50,560
Maybe this is...

378
00:18:50,685 --> 00:18:51,885
two friends...

379
00:18:52,778 --> 00:18:54,378
getting back together.

380
00:19:00,084 --> 00:19:02,432
It's always so great
to see a fellow hoser.

381
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:07,396
Good news! I forgive you for
the whole restraining order thing.

382
00:19:10,095 --> 00:19:13,078
- Is that a stormtrooper?
- That's not a stormtr...

383
00:19:13,203 --> 00:19:15,103
You want to get out of here?

384
00:19:15,907 --> 00:19:17,057
See you guys.

385
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:18,657
See you Alan.

386
00:19:20,447 --> 00:19:22,559
So you still on 73rd Street?

387
00:19:23,115 --> 00:19:24,665
How do you know that?

388
00:19:26,619 --> 00:19:28,919
Getting back together as friends...
389
00:19:29,044 --> 00:19:30,085
I like that.

390
00:19:30,535 --> 00:19:31,962
One more for the road?

391
00:19:39,129 --> 00:19:40,375
And, I mean, who knows?

392
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:43,390
Maybe, when, like, you turn 40,
if you haven't found anyone...

393
00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:46,758
- I already have that deal with Ted.
- Right. Stupid.

394
00:19:47,975 --> 00:19:51,148
Well, maybe when you turn 39,
if you haven't found anyone...

395
00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:54,339
<i>It turns out that
they really did just need</i>

396
00:19:54,464 --> 00:19:55,986
<i>to let things run their course.</i>

397
00:19:56,643 --> 00:19:58,613
So, how's Barney doing?

398
00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:00,273
He's okay, I think.

399
00:20:00,398 --> 00:20:03,076
It might be a while before
he fully recovers, but...

400
00:20:03,908 --> 00:20:05,958
Did you guys just feel a chill?

401
00:20:22,675 --> 00:20:23,825
Daddy's home.

402
00:20:28,372 --> 00:20:31,104
- I'm glad we could catch up.
- Let's do it again soon.

403
00:20:31,272 --> 00:20:33,159
I love that you guys
are still friends

404
00:20:33,284 --> 00:20:35,108
so long after you
did that music video.

405
00:20:35,732 --> 00:20:38,239
The music?
The "Sandcastles" video!

406
00:20:39,169 --> 00:20:40,864
We did that together, too.

407
00:20:41,358 --> 00:20:43,693
- What do you mean "too"?
- We had this

408
00:20:43,818 --> 00:20:46,210
failed Canadian
TV variety show we did.

409
00:20:46,335 --> 00:20:47,954
That was so embarrassing.

410
00:20:48,122 --> 00:20:51,972
Imagine what would happen if
anybody ever got their hands on that?

411
00:20:52,891 --> 00:20:53,891
You.

9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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