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UNIT 2

Improving coherence and cohesion

Coherence refers to the underlying logical relations which make the text a unified
whoļe rather than a sequence ofunconnected sentences. To a large extent, coherence
depends on readers' familiarity with text schemata: their expectations of how the text
will develop are shaped by their knowledge of typicaĮ discoųrse patterns (e.g. problem
/ soludon). These are often ļeft implicit, but they catr aļso be made explicit by the use
of signals such as the probĮem uas or as a resuļt.

If a text is not fully coherent, it is hard to make sense of it: this is usually because
structuring is not optimaļ and the relation between Sentences and paragraphs is not
sufficiently explicit.

Cohesion is a surface phenomenon: it concerns the grammaticaļ and lexical features


that create ties berween senrences, most irnportantly lexical repetition, use of pro-
nouns (it I thae) and link words. A lack of cohesion resuhs in a choppy, unconnected
sryĮe.

Because coherence and cohesion are closely connected, they will nor be treated sepa-
rately in what foļlows.

General advice

In order to convey your message successfully, try to write with the reader in mind and
to make logical reļations as explicit as possible. For instance, inserting a sentence such
as This approach is probĮematic for two reasons makes what folļows much easier to
Pro-
cess, because the reader can immediately interpret it as the description of a problem,.
ų'hich will moreover consist of two main parts.

Put your text aside for a whiĮe and reread it critically after a few days or weeks. Īy to
put yourself in the posirion of the reader:
. Can yoų reconstruct your own afgument quickly?
' Can you identiĄ, the major parts?'ü/ould you be abļe to insert headings?
F'
1

26 p Part l. Acadenic Styte

. Are any transitions unclear?


. Is the rext reperirive in places?
. Does the text have good flow?

Īf possible, have your text read by a coĮleague ancį be


prepared to revise your text
thorougly.

Below are a number of strategies to deaļ with che


most common coherence and cohe-
sion problems encoįįntered in texts produced by novice
writers.

i. Dividing and sequencing


At the macro-leveļ, coherence is achieved tirrough the division
into chapters, sections
and paragraphs. In structuring your te*t, needless repetition and think care-
",roiā
fullyabout the best organisational pattern: common parrerns include generar-specific,
probleirr-solurion, cause-effect, major to minor, and
past to present.
TĻo strategies deserve special attention, i.e. enumeration and
parallelism.

Enumeration

In academic writing, you frequently need to classiĄ,


information (e.g. three factors,
two effects, five main findings). The use of explicit
į.ru*.rrtion *llļ-"k. such pas-
sages easier to read.

The'tuo main objectiues a1r,


f3t, n identlfil rish factors assocįatetĮ uith rcenage ?regnanc!
and, second, to improue the eficienqt ofpürrntlon
measures.

Things to bear in mind:


a Both frst and frxĮy can be used, but be consistent.
a Įf you use frsr, the reader expects the second point to
be indicated by second or a
second probĮem. Itis confusing if you use
*orrorrrto introduce your second- poinq.
Your ļast point can be indicated by
fnatģ.
o Avoid enumerations within enumerations.
a Is it clear what you are enumerating? Add an
introductoly statęment.
Howeuer, this technique has been associated wįth
a number of seriou compĮications. Fįrst,
'. .

If the first point was fairly lengthy, briefly recapituiate


what you are enumerating
before you introduce the second poinr.
27 i.. lnproving coherence and cohesion

Parallelism

Enumerations, classifications and contrastive definitions can be made much clearer if


you use parallel sentence Structures for parallel facts or points. ParalĮelism highlights
the similariry berween various elements, making it easier to identiĄ, the differences
between them.

Note how the use of parallelism supporrs the coherence of the following passage,
which distinguishes between public and private law.
PubĮic lau consists of thosefeĮds of Įaw uhich are primariŅ concerned uįth the state įt-
seĶ Thus, constitutionaļ ļau, which reguĮates the functioning of the organs of the centraĮ
gouernmenL and the reĮationship of the indiuidual to them, is a branch ofpubĮic ļau. [..']

Priuate kw is that part of the Įau which is primariĻ concerned with the rights and duties
of indiuiduaĮs. Thus, the brunches of the law uhich gouern priuate obĮigatiolls - such as the
Įaw of contract and of tort _ are aĮĮ aspects of priuate Įau.|

, .::21 Highlighting text structure

i1-.-fo"o structuring can be made more effective if it is explicitly pointed oųt to the
i1*"a.. through the use of various devices that faciļitate top-down processing.

! ūance 0rganizels

Subtitles and headirrgs


į
į?i.,...l.outlines

fil' The articļe is diuįded intofue sections:


frst, Į d.iscuss the importance of '''; second, Į
'Įlļ;',. ",fu* some issues in .''. The tbįrd seciion prouides a brief oueruie* ;f ''., whiĮe the
fourth section re?nrts on ..' .The fnaĮ section presents the implications for poĮicy-makers
,.' and indicates directions researcļl.
for farther
ļoptc sentence + enumeration / elaboration
The aims of this project are tuofoĮd.
First, it seeks to .'.
. Į wo
fndings fom this study, deserue further comment.

1Ņlshlighting devices

S'J'm.s,
Įnn'oduction to EngĮish Lnu,London, Butteworrhs, 1985, p' 6
28 )+ Part 1. Academic Style

o Referring forward
As uiĮĮ be atgued beĮolu, .'.
Thįs is disclķsed in further detaįĮ in Chapter Three'

Post organizers

o Recapitulation
This chapter has prouided a duaiļed historicaĮ anaŲsis of '.'
Įn concļusion, the fndings reported in this stud1 demonstrate the high preuaĮence of ...

o Referring back
As uas obserued earļieņ '.,
one of the studies referred to aboue ļ'ooked at . '.

3. Eflective paragraphlng
A paragraph is a group of senrences unified by a topic or idea. A new paragraph,
which marks a change of topic or focus, is signalled by indentation or by a bļanļ< line.
Note that rhe first paragraph of a section does not need to be indented.

A paragraph may seem unfocused if it is not really clear what specific point is being
made, even though sentences foļlow each other logically. This may be improved bį
making sųre that there is a clear topic sentence, i.e. a sentence that expr.esses or intro-
duces the main point made in the paragraph. This is trsuaĮĮy, though not necessarily,
the first senrence.

Topic sentences organise paragraphs and allow readers to make sense of compĮex
arguments. That is why they are more important in analytical and argumentarive
Passages than in descriptive or narrative ones. Topic sentences aļso make a text easier
to skim.

Note how the topic sentence creates coherence in the foĮlowing passage.
Tulo sharpŲ diuergent pornaits of internationaĮ cornpetitiue behauior haue emerged in
the Įiterature on the muļtinationaĮ corporation and internatįonaĮ politicaĮ ,roīo-1.
one portrait empllasizes the differences in gĮobaĮ behauior betuleenfrms of different na-
tįonaĮities uhiļe the otherfocuses on the common set of presures and incentįuis aĮlfrms
in a giuen industr1 face, regardĮess of tbeir nationaĮiņ. These tuo pornaits appear to ltĮĮnd
in opposition to one another: one impĮies simiĮariņ įn behauįor amongfrms įn the same
industrų, the other underscores nationaĮ dffirences.2

2. McKendricļ<, D- G. (200l). G]obal strategy and popuĮation-level Įearning: The case of hard disk drives, Stl.ategic
Mnnagement Jo urnaļ, 22 (4). pp. 307 -334'

-t-,
29 į, tmproving coherence and cohesion

Make sure the paragraph stays within the scope of the topic senrence. Even the last
sentence in the paragraph shouĮd stilļ r'eļate to the topic Sentence. Īf this is not the
case, there are rwo options:
t perhaps you need a more general topic sentence, which encompasses the different
points.
t perhaps you need to break a long paragraph into two shorter ones, each with their
own topic sentence.

Organise paragraphs carefully to avoid moving back and forth benveen eļements, \7rit_
erssometimes Start a paragraph with a topic senterįce, but then need to mention a num-
ber of preliminary matters before they can elaborate or argue the point made in the topic
sentet1ce, which results in a circųitous and needļessly repetirive sryle. Put yourself in the
reader's position and try to introdųce points in the most logical, economica] order.

4. Signalling logical c0nnections


\X/hen reading a text, we
expect each sentence to be developed, illustrated or modified
by the next oļle. Yet, itr sotne paragraphs every sentence sounds ļike a new start and
it is not immediately cļear how it reļates to the previoĮļs one oļ' to the next because
logical connections (e,g. exemplification, contrast, reformulation) are not sufficiently
explicit. For the reader; it is higlrly confusing if it is uncļear whether a
Particuļaf serr_
tence merely elaborates the previous one of instead introduces a new eļement.

The foļlowing tools may improve the coherence of your writing.

Linking words
Connectives (such as in contrast, howeuer, as ueĮĮ, aļ highlight the reļations between
paragraphs and between sentences. Note, for instance, how the
Passage beļow be-
comes easier to read if there is an explicit transition.

onĻ Įimited t'esearch has been canied out on the topic offemaĮe entrePreneļļrs. EmpiricaĮ
data on tbis rnatter are scarce'
a
|ļ "r-":T'
Detaiied usage notes on the most common connectives are provided in the Grarnntar
Reference Section.

Lexical equivalents
Do not overuse connectives. Instead, use lexicaļ equivaĮents with the same meaning
to achieve cohesion.

As a resuĮt -} This has resuĮted in ...


Įn contrast -+ A different Įine of approach was deueĮoped by .''

Ļ
ry
i
30 > Part 1. Academic StYle

Relerencing
pronouns (e.g. this I these / it / whicb) refer to the previous sentence and thus create
cohesion.

Tiuo rĮiuergent approaches are disct'ķsed' The frst of these is concerned witļl '..

Repetition

Repetition (or near-repetition as in example 3) builds cohesion. Note how repetition


is often reinforced through thę use of words such as thįs, the sAme or such as.

From this popuļation a sampĮe of 645 uas draun' The sam1lĮe uas stratifed according
to

the profession of uarious tners.


Gri oę fod i"d stained in glass clntainers. The sarne container ma1 be used throughout
the procedure
Įn ih, part fe* years, the widespread use of miniruaĮĮ7 įnuasiue Įaparoscopic technit1ues has
,rooļutioii"eā the rurgicaĮ approacb to a t''įnge of diseases, This reuoļution has come at a
cost, houeuer.

Synonyms of near_Synonyms can bę used to avoid a repetitive sryle. However,


in
technicaļ contexts' sųch as the methocįs or results sęctions of an empirical article,
precision is more important than varieņ so it is better to repeat key words.

Superordinates

Superordinates are words that refer to a class. They are rypically used in definitions
are also very useful in creating
G e A herbiuore is an anfunal that eats pĮanrs), but they
greater focus.

Adding a superordinate can make an enumeration easier to Process, because it acts as


,n Įrg".rir.r. For instance, the seconcį Sentence is clearer because the three
"d,rįrr..
elements mentionęd are categorized under methodoĮoģcal probĮems.
Įt seerns Įikeģ that tbese d'ifferences can be attributed to socįaĮ desirabiĮiņ bias, arnbiguous
questions, or use ofinappropriate contob.
'- h ,rr*, ĮikeŲ" thai thes, dņrrnra can be attributed to methodoĮogicaĮ probĮems such
as sociaļ desįrabiĮiņ bias' ...

just been
Superordinates can also refer backward and identify the na.ture of what has
deļcribed, in combination with words such as this, a simiļar, another' such a .. ' ętc'

Įf a sollncĮ or feaĮing remaįlls clnstant ouer time, the brain graduaĮģ snps registning
this
ļtirnuļur. A sirniū 1lhenomenon affects our abiĮity to focus on a tash, uhich decĮ'ines

signtfcantŲ ouer time.


Āgain't this bachground, we reuieu a number of h1potheses'
ļi ļine uith ,urļ| on approach, Į argue that the standard modeļ sholtļd be repĮaced by a
r k.
mu ļt i dim e ns i o na l
fam e ul o
31 vn lmproving coherence and cohesion

Note how they also provide a more focused aļternative to connectives.


Hence, many countries haue acted to curb sociaĮ spending'
-+ As a resuĮt of these pressures, man1t countries '. '
Hou.'euer, it is cļear that aind power couļd mahe a siņifcant contribution to thc cļemand
for eĮectriciņ.
*) Despite these Įimitations' it is cļear that ...

5. The given-new principle

In organizing paragraphs, pay atenrion ro rhe order in which new and given informa-
tion are presented.

Usually, the new information, or the point you are making abour the topic of the
sentence, is placed towards tļre end of tļre sentence, because that is the parr that gets
most emphasis.

This stud1 (= the topic) examįnes students' beĮiefs about Įearning (= what you say about
the topic, new information).

The next sentence then expands on an aspeo of this new information, which has now
become given information. Given information wilļ tend to occur at the start, in the
topic position. In the following passage, for instance, giuen information is in boļd.

This paper prouides the resuĮx of a ļiterdture reuieu on the use of ICT and e-learning in
uork-based Įearning. The reuįew (= identified in the previous s.nten..) spans thef,ears
ļ990-2004 and anaŲses ]5 articĮes, pubĮished in major journals. Findīngs (= of this
analysis) indicate thatfour basic approaches Are clmmln.

The advantage of this structuring principle is that ir creares a domino parrern rhar
facilitates understanding.

possibŲ uncĮearfor the reader, because reļated eļements Are not together

A B C B D C

mucll cļearer, because there is a logicaĮ deueĮopment jiom A to B to C etc

A B B C C D

Įn sum, these are the nvo principles to keep in mind when revising yoĮļI text:

o Move given inforrnation to the start of the sentence to create a better ļink with the
previous sentence. Anything that is less important should also be moved to the ļeft
(to the srart or to the middle) to avoid a weak ending.

L-
;
32 -ļ" Part 1' Academic Style

]n this scenario, trude collĮd įncrease by $254 biĮĮion' Improued port ef;ciency is responsibĮe
for about haĮf the increase.
-+ Įn this scenario, trade couļd increase bļ $254 biļļion. About haĮf the įncrease is de'
riuedf'om improued port eficiency. (Note the use of the passive ro creare cohesion)
These images rePresent symboļic unįts in a larger commlLnicatiue sļstem, in thįs sense.
-+ Įn thįs sense, these images represent .. '

Move new information to the end of the sentence: this will give it greater stress
and it wilļ also create a better ļink with the next sentence.
LegaĮ protection for inuestors įs anotller important form of infastrucnlre
for fnanciaĮ
reporting and capitaļ markets.
'+ Another important form of infastructure for financial reporting Įļnd caPitaļ markets įs
ĮegaĮ protection for inuestors.

CĮearŲ' a frameworh tbat can contribute to edacationaĮ reforn is needed,


_+ CkarŲ, ahat is needed is aframeuorh that can contrįbute to educationaĮ reform.

5.1 Improve the structure of given and new information

1. Two scales were generared by this factor analysis, one relating to family support
and the other to suppom from friends.
2. Obviously, there are a number of drawbacks ro rhis srraregF. The need ro opri-
mize drivers for multi-GPU configurations is the main one.

3. An extended model is proposed in this paper according to which liquidiry prefer-


ence is explicitly determined by uncertainty.

6. Linking up short sentences

Writing academic prose involves the ability to use complex sentence Strlįctųres in
which ideas are effectively combined. Novice writers often havę an insufficient com_
mand over such structur'es and oPt for short, simple sentences instead. Thļs may
result in a number of problems:

o The underlying connecrions are uncļear


Įn a uarmer cļimate, certain pests may become more predominant' The use of pesticides
may increase.
-+ In a u)armer cļimate, certain pests may become more prerĮominant, resuĮting įn ift-
creased use of pexicides.

o The point made is incomplete.


SpectfcalŲ, it reports uarious clntextuįįļ factlrs' These factors were fotlnd to affect poĮicņ
decisions.
-> SpeczfcaĮĻ įt rePorts uarious context'uaĮfactors that were found to affect poĮicy decisions'
33 Ļr tnproving coherence and cohesion

c Too much weight is given to a minor point.


These uariabļes were therefore suppressed to anon1mise the data. AĮĮ of rhe uariabĮes are
ļisted in the Appendix'
_+ These uariabļes, tllhich are ļisted in the Appendix, were therefore suppressed t0 ano-
nymise the data

This disjointed sryle can be improved by combining clauses into longer, complex
sentences. Short sentences can be combined using:

. conjunctions (e.g. whiĮe, although)


. (reduced) relative clauses

The radioĮogicaĮfndings are summarized in Tlbļe 2'The fnd'ings shou thü both screening
methods are effectiue.
, -+ The radiologicaĮf'ndings' (uhicb are) summarised in TabĮe 2, shota tbat '..

l . paĪticipļe clauses
::
. Large deĮetions can occur. This Įeads to a number of genes being remoued jiom the genome
.

'

..,...., .,
_:.

-+ Large deļetions can occun bading to a number of genes being '..


:,,,.:
:r,.,..,.',Jko points to note:
iii,llii.., Use short senrences ro express your most important points (e.g. at the start or the
end of a paragraph), because a short sentence is more emphatic than a longer one.
Only use compound clauses with 'and' to enumerate: 'and' simply jr-xtaposes
iģeāq, so an oPportuniry is Įost to bring out underlying logical relationships.

māJl haue changed' and the existing modeĮ mų no Įonger be appropriate.


'',,', 'rrrrr-rronce:
,,:;,,, Cbrum'tances mal haue changed, so / which is tufu the existing modeĮ ma1 no Įonger be
..:::-.''q??ro?rxate.

iiii.-.9.,.,i*t"k
up these seĪItences, using the words between brackets
r. '.
i:äri:r:,1:i1..1:r. '.

iiĮį;r,r.-Ę expect ĮiberaĮization to proceed smootbŲ' Ve achnowĮedge the dif;cuĮties in further


ž,,1ģ:l!, ;;; ;,n ęg o ti a t i o n s' (w:eittx)

įii:;i$ r, p
tzuriĮe acknowĮed.gingthe dificuĮties infurther negotiations, ue ex?ect ļįbetaļization
ro c eed srno o th
äiliiį,liil1.'.., "'J' Ļ'

į.;iiiĮ1n,t"re
nature ot
iiiiiiiiļ,,... of this technology is controvetsial.
controversi Risk assessrĪent cannot be re-
$l;!1.__4ļė 'to a set of technical iss*ues. (crvnN)
Tļre.in1erest in post-communist
parry development is considerable. However,
ļittle work has examined the development of women's parties in East-
-,-,],,_'ļ1!ļ"'ty
Įi,i.ri.._d,...:
op ( n es, trr)
".
early to draw firm conclusions. Nevertheless, an emerging consen-
ii.j*iiĮ3Įi'''oo
that the pIogramme is not cost-effective. (vHrI-r)
$į:Į,1ņ*'s
34 h. Part 1' Academic SŲle

4. Tlrese policies did rrot take into accoLįnt the possibiliry of economic recession.
Tlrey cĮid also not anticipate the reduced neecį for housing. (Non)

5. The empiricaļ evidence presented in this article is largely exploratot7 Nonethe_


less, the insights that emerge from our analysis have implications for practitio-
ners. They are aļso usefui for researchers. (erruoucu / roru)

6. Although such financial assistance may be helpful, it cįoes not seem to be es-
sentiaļ. If participants have sufficient incentives, they do not need financiaļ as-
sistance. (lnovroro rner)

7 . This change of position is unwarranted on legal grounds. Moreoveņ it is coun-


terproductive at the factuaļ level. (Nor oNrv)

8. Howeveļ do these interventions result in verifiable benefits? More research is


needed before we can determine this. (rN omrn ro)

6.2 Combiņe the sentences into 1 long sentence, of which the italicised part
should form the main clause. Rephrase where necessary.
Thįs ļine ofresearch contrįbutes to the theorņ ofteaching nnd Įearning. Įt aĮso has practicaĮ
impĮications.
-> Įn addition to contributing to the theorņ ofteaching and Įearning, this Įine ofresearch
aĮso has practicaĮ impĮications.

1. There are few empirical studies that address the effectiveness of such inrerven-
tions. So the debate about benefts and risks continues.

2' Both quantitatiue and quaĮitatiue methods were empĮo1ed.This was done to Sutvey
alarge pool of participants. \fe also wanted to obtain more in-depth data from
open-ended questions and interviews

3. The rates of chiļdhood obesity are rising. There bas been mllch debate about auho
is to be bĮamed. Food advertising is often critl'cized for its roļe in the obesity epi_
demic.

4. HeaĮthcare materiaĮs are diuerse. This was indicated above. They range from the
information on medicine containers to multi_page ļeaflets that explain medical
concĮitions and the therapies that are availabļe.

5. Three major brands were anaģsed.These brands account for 88 percent of totaļ
purchasing voļume. The aim was to assess customer prefērences.

i
ļ

į
I
Academic \Triting

A Resource for Researchers

Kristin BĮanpain

Acco Leuven / Den Haag

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