Javar Allen- Boyd

October 31,2017

Salva Dut- Inspirational Story

A young individual survived A Long Walk to Water because he is a tolerable, eager, and obedient

person. Linda Sue Park’s novel, A Long Walk to Water includes a real character Salva Dut, who

experiences a real war in South Sudan 1992. During this time rebels from the south are at war with the

government due to religious beliefs. Despite the numerous challenges the main character, Salva

faced, he was able to be tolerable and accept the death of his uncle, be obedient and follow his

uncle directions and advice, and was eager to survive and find his family.

One factor that made survival possible for Salva, was his ability to be tolerable in situations where

others had given up. While Salva was running away from the war in South Sudan, he had reunited

with his Uncle, but while trying to get away from the war his Uncle had been murdered and his friend

Mariel got eaten by a lion. Salva was determined to finish the mission and “Salva knew that both of

them would have wanted him to survive, to finish the trip and reach the Itang refugee camp safely. It

was almost as if they had left the strength with him, to help him on his journey.”(65) When Salva had

reached the Itang refugee camp he thought he had found his mother, but it was not her and then

he remember when his uncle told his that his village had burned and only a little had survived, so he

was able to accept the death of his family.” His family was gone...What mattered was that Salva was

on his own now...I am alone now .I am all that is left of my family”.(72) Salva was able to accept

heartbreaking deaths in his journey. This means that his ability to be tolerable of being separated

from his family and continuing on his journey without his uncle allowed his to survive.

Another reason Salva was able to survive his challenging journey was because of his obedience.

Salva is using the strategy his uncle told him, so he can get through the desert.” One step at a

time...one day at a time. Just today just this day to get through. Salva told himself every
day.”(83)While Salva was waiting to be rescued by a family in the United States of America he

wanted to learn how speak in English, and was able to follow the directions of the aid worker Michael

who taught him how to speak English. ”The lessons began that very day. Michael wrote down three

letters on a small scrap of paper...The whole rest of the day, Salva went around saying, A B C.”(86)

This shows Salva was able to listen and learn which allowed him to escape the refugee camp to start

a new life in America.

The final reason that Salva is able to survive his challenging journey is because of his eagerness to

find his family. Salva is running away from his village due to war.”I f I die now, I will never see my family

again. Somehow, this thought strengthened him enough to keep from collapsing in terror.”(11)It helps

Salva be eager and want to survive,so he can see his family again. Salva is traveling to Kenya, so the

group and him can survive.”He felt determination growing, as it had in the days after Uncle’s death. I

will get us safely to Kenya, he thought. No matter how hard it is.” (81)It helps Salva be eager and

determined to survive and see his family again.

Due to Savla’s obedience,eagerness,and being able to accept tough things, Salva was able to

resilient and cover his challenges. Salva has to run away from a war and being shot at many time in

his life. When he finally got to safety he tracks down his family and started a company that helped

families get water in South Sudan. Salva’s story is inspirational because it shows me that I can face

many challenges that were nowhere near Salva challenges. It also shows me that u can do good in

a community and save lives.

 7th Expository Writing Rubric TOTAL SCORE: 15.15/ 16

Criteria 4 3 2 1 0
CONTENT AND clearly introduce a topic in a clearly introduce a topic introduce a topic in a introduce a topic in a manner demonstrate a lack of
manner that is compelling in a manner that follows manner that follows that does not logically follow
ANALYSIS: the and follows logically from from the task and generally from the task from the task and purpose
comprehension of the
extent to which the the task and purpose purpose and purpose text(s) or task
demonstrate little
essay conveys demonstrate insightful demonstrate grade- demonstrate a literal understanding of the text(s)
complex ideas and analysis of the text(s) appropriate analysis of comprehension of the
information clearly and the text(s) text(s)
accurately in order to
support claims in an
analysis. 3.75

COMMAND OF develop the topic with
relevant, well-chosen facts,
EVIDENCE: the definitions, concrete details,
extent to which the quotations, or other
essay presents information and examples
evidence from the from the text(s)
provided texts to sustain the use of varied,
support analysis and relevant evidence
reflection
exhibit clear organization, with
COHERENCE, the skillful use of appropriate
ORGANIZATION, and varied transitions to create
a unified whole and enhance
AND STYLE: the meaning
extent to which the
establish/maintain a formal style,
essay logically using grade-appropriate,
organizes complex stylistically sophisticated
ideas, concepts, and language and domain-specific
vocabulary.
information using
provide a concluding statement
formal style and
or section that is compelling and
precise language
follows clearly from the topic
and information presented 4 information presented
develop the topic with
relevant facts, definitions,
details, quotations, or
other information and
examples from the text(s)
sustain the use of
relevant evidence, with
some lack of variety
3.5
exhibit clear organization,
with the use of appropriate
transitions to create a
unified whole
establish and maintain a
formal style using precise
language and domain-
specific vocabulary
provide a concluding
statement or section that
follows from the topic and
information presented
partially develop the topic
of the essay with the use of
some textual evidence,
some of which may be
irrelevant
use relevant evidence
inconsistently
exhibit some attempt at
organization, with
inconsistent use of transitions
establish but fail to maintain
a formal style, with
inconsistent use of language
and domain-specific
vocabulary
provide a concluding
statement or section that
follows generally from the
topic and information
presented
demonstrate an attempt to
use evidence, but only
develop ideas with minimal,
occasional evidence which is
generally invalid or irrelevant
exhibit little attempt at
organization, or attempts to
organize are irrelevant to the
task
lack a formal style, using
language that is imprecise or
inappropriate for the text(s) and
task
provide a concluding statement
or section that is illogical or
unrelated to the topic and
provide no evidence or
provide evidence that
is completely irrelevant
exhibit no evidence of
organization
use language that is
predominantly
incoherent or copied
directly from the text(s)
do not provide a
concluding statement or
section

CONTROL OF demonstrate grade- demonstrate grade- demonstrate emerging demonstrate a lack of are minimal, making
appropriate command of appropriate command command of conventions, command of conventions, assessment of
CONVENTIONS: the conventions, with few errors of conventions, with with some errors that may with frequent errors that hinder conventions unreliable
extent to which the essay occasional errors that do hinder comprehension comprehension
demonstrates command 3.9 not hinder
of capitalization, comprehension
punctuation, and spelling
Javar, way to take the feedback, and produce an amazing final draft! Your attention to detail, and analysis of the selected
evidence is remarkable. As we move forward in the year, I want to encourage you to think even deeper about the analysis
you provide, and ask yourself, “what more does this quote reveal?” Great job overall!