AN IDEAL CHRISTIAN HOME

INTRODUCTION

Home is not a house. It is a structure. Every Christian has the mandate to build a home not a house. House is a
physical and collapsible edifice. It consumes human effort to build and later enhances pride for self. While
home is intangible but impacting. It has structures that is founded on God and it is built daily with His guidance
to become a model for others. God specifically seeks for home in Malachi 2:15, “Has not the LORD made them
one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself
in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth”. Home is God’s embassy on earth. Like a
Master-plan of Tabernacle to Moses, so also the home to the world through practicing Christians. Home is also
like a guest house for God while sojourning on earth.

Icebreaking Questions:

1. Is your marriage and family a home or house?

2. Can God make your home a specimen for coming generation?

DEFINITION OF TERMS

 Ideal: Perfect, unadulterated, model, best, epitome, etc. What it is expected under a normal
circumstance. The appropriate structure to follow. The real shape of a project.
 Christian: A person who has signed death warrant with the cause of the cross. It is a person who gives
all to Christ to receive a bit per day in order to become all that will please the Father. The one who lives
and represents Christ in all seasons - inconvenience, comfort, for better for worst, etc.
 Home: For this teaching, is seen as the composition of father and mother with children (if any) living
in harmony and love. Home is synonymous to comfortable destination where rest is appreciable. It is
a picture that portrays father and mother who know their roles and the children who show positive
end result. Home is used for blissful family, especially, a Christian household. It is usually used when a
child behaves well, it is said “He/she comes from good home”.

IN THE BEGINNING

Surprisingly, what we need is not a fresh perspective about home. What we need is a reminder of the intent of
God for marriage and the roles within this covenant; we need the ancient scriptures to guide us and persuade
us once more that there lies the secret to a sacred marriage and home. Let’s think together about the Christian
home. Home starts with marriage union. Marriage was God’s idea. Marriage is the only institution that has
come down to us from the other side of the fall of man in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 2:21-25). God ordained
marriage before sin entered the world and intended for it to be the fullest, richest and most joyous life on
planet earth. If it fails in being this, the fault is not in the institution itself but in those who enter into it carelessly
and fail to fulfill its conditions. In fact, marriage is so important to God’s plan that He makes a comparison in
the book of Ephesians between marriage and the Church. “The husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ
is the head of the Church; and He is the Saviour of the body. The Church should be a reflection of the home,
and the home should be a reflection of the Church.

SOCIETY AND HOME

Now, this home supposes to be the fountain-head of our society. No nation can rise higher than the average
home, and that’s why we’re in the condition we’re in today: the trouble is in the fountain-head of our society.

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 There are Four Great Cornerstones to our Christian civilization: The Home, The School, The Church, and The
Government. If they all would function properly, we would have a wonderful place to live in. But the Home is
evidently the most important of these four, and I want to talk to you this day about what it takes to make an
ideal home – I wonder, if there are any ideal homes represented in this audience today. I know someone will
say “Yes”. Then it should be yours and if not, it is not too late.

IDEALNESS OF A CHRISTIAN HOME

It supposes to be a place

1. Where Bible is taught and followed.

2. Where father plays his roles without motivation or coercion.
3. Where mother is called blessed.
4. Where godly characters and virtues are reflecting daily on the children.
5. Where peace keeps her permanent habitation when troubles like sea even billow.
6. Where strangers love to stay.
7. Where church is born.
8. Where first love is ever crystal and deeply imprinted on the heart of the couple.
9. Where God showcases His model (specimen of heaven on earth) to the world.
10. A home where fight, conflict, misunderstanding and quarrel do not sleep over.

This is the ideal Christian home but circumstances and societal influences have reformed the ideal with
substitute/substandard homes that psychological input, economy drive, western culture and uncared attitude
have successfully restructured. They are:

 Contract marriage  Wife beater and husband accuser, etc.

 Broken homes without remorse  Isaiah prophetic type of home – “In that
 Polygamy/Bigamy day seven women will take hold of one
 Social marriage as celebrity man and say, “We will eat our own food
 Single parenthood and provide our own clothes; only let us be
 Cohabitation without dowry called by your name. Take away our
 Irresponsible couple disgrace!” (Isaiah 4:1)

WHY AN IDEAL CHRISTIAN HOME?

 Growing sickness-free family – Hypertension, diabetes, and sexually diseases will fade away.
 Developing nations from home – Obedient and non-corrupt children will be raised.
 Recruiting more force for Great Commission – Mission-minded one will be recruited for God’ use.
 Exhibiting heaven on earth – The couples play up the love of Christ and the obedience of the church.
 Building capacity for God’s word – The teaching in the Bible becomes infallible and impacting through your
family as specimen of its effectiveness.
 Raising home for homeless – Ideal home will be a comfortable abode for friends, relatives and strangers who
love to come around you in order to learn God’s standard of home-making.

IDEAL COMPOSITION OF A CHRISTIAN HOME

Home has four actors. The composition is interrelated though having diverse roles. It involves God (the Author), man
(father), woman (mother) and children (if any). It is like a triangle with three angles that connect to one another. The

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distance of one side will equally affect the other side. Therefore the effectiveness of actors determines the idealness
of the home as Christians.

God

Husband/Father Children Wife/Mother

ROLES OF ACTORS IN AN IDEAL CHRISTIAN HOME

God has roles to play. He had started since the days of Adam. He gives instruction to obedient couples. Children have
roles to play when the couples have successfully done theirs. Therefore, we shall only consider the roles of man and
woman in an ideal Christian home according to the ideal Book – The Bible.

Husband/Father

The English word husband comes from an old word which we might spell house-band. The word band here means a
strip of metal or a rope used to join or hold things together. In other words, a husband is one who holds a home
together. Today we think of the word husband more as the male partner of a marriage but to a great degree the
entire household depends on the man. The husband is the immediate head of the home and responsible to see that
the principles of God’s Word are practiced there. “The head of every man is Christ: and the head of the woman is the
man” (1 Corinthians 11:3 KJV).

Biblical/Ideal Roles of Husband and Father - It is expected from an ideal man in an ideal home:

 Genesis 2:15 - To work and take care of his home.

 Genesis 2:16-17 - To take instruction from the Lord of the marriage.
 Genesis 2:18: - To trust whoever the Lord gives as helpmate.
 Genesis 2:24 - To leave others and make his wife and family his first on his list.
 Genesis 2:25 - To open up matters with his wife without shame.
 Genesis 3:12 - To accept blame and fault of the home, not to shit responsibility.
 Ephesians 5:25 - To love his wife as Jesus did. Love your wife with all her weaknesses whether known or
unknown, fat or slim, smart or sluggish, sexually active or not, etc.
 1 Peter 3:7 - To treat his wife with respect so that his prayers will be answered.
 Ephesians 6:4 - To bring up his children in the way of the Lord by being an example in character, godliness,
purity, obedience, etc.
 1 Timothy 5:8 - To provide for his home regularly, not to shift responsibility to his wife.
 Malachi 2:14-15 - To keep vows and covenant of marriage with his wife alive despite her lapses and
inconsistency.
 Proverbs 5:15-19 - To be satisfied with his wife both day and night without comparison with others.
 1 Timothy 3:1-7 - As father, you are the overseer (leader) of the home. You are to be above reproach, faithful
to your wife, self-controlled, able to teach, and be able to manage your family.

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Wife/Mother:

The position or title of a wife is not earned by solemnization alone. It is given because of the delicate role of building
home. It involves helping, assisting, managing, and caring. Not all women with children are mothers. It has deeper
understanding for the wise. Biblical/Ideal Roles of Wife and Mother - It is expected from an ideal woman in an ideal
home:

 Genesis 3:2 - To guard her home judiciously, not to expose it to strangers, enemies, diviners, etc. Stop
tale-bearing, gossip and sharing faults with extended families. Always talk-less with
outsider and talk-more with your spouse.
 Genesis 3:6 - To see beyond physical achievement. Rome is not built in a day. See what your husband
sees, not what people see or say. Ideal woman believes her husband instructions.
 Genesis 3:13 - To stay away from deceivers. Women are open and prone to deception. They are the
victims of deceivers’ schemes. Beware.
 Genesis 3:23-24 - God sent out man from Garden of Eden, Eve followed. Be ready to follow your husband at
any point of life’s challenge. It is for a while. The husband may be the offender, do not
desert him. Your attention will save him.
 1 Peter 3:1 - To submit to her husband in all things. Your submission is not foolishness. Do it for your
husband as you will do to Jesus, our Lord.
 Proverbs 14:1 - To build her home with unconditional love, tolerance, skillful hands, listening ears, large
heart, prayers, delicious meals, cleanliness and hospitality.
 Prov. 31:10-29 - To develop hardworking hands and godly character.
 Luke 2:19; 51 - To treasure home-secret in the heart and in the place of prayer.

CHALLENGES MILITATING AGAINST IDEAL CHRISTIAN HOME

1. Win-Win Syndrome: Everyone wants to win every argument. If the couple lives by this syndrome, idealness
will be stampeded completely. Always ready to accept fault and be open to correction.
2. Inability to manage poverty: Poverty is not a curse and not as a result of laziness. It stays long as long as the
couple mismanages their abilities and thoughtfulness. Money matter can be managed with understanding.
3. Broken family altar: The home has spiritual pillar connected with cord of devotion. Idealness of a home lives
on as the couple maintains family altar together.
4. Inconsistent and questionable sex life: God created sex. It is godly and uniting. Inability to deny one another
may tear apart a home. Does your spouse find fulfillment in you as one and only sexual mate on earth? Ideal
couple sticks together firstly from bed. Avoid separate rooms’ relationship.
5. Increase in gap through child bearing: As children increase, love, care and attention for one another decrease.
Intentionally manage it. Remember your children will leave you one day to return to honeymoon days.
6. External intrusion: God created home with a close wall that is open only to Himself. Any counsel apart from
God will kill idealness in your home. Beware of any kind of advice and counsels. Test all.
7. Character failure: Your idealness is sustained by your godly character. It is not one-sided. The couple must
both grow in character side-by-side, without this, the failure of one will exhaust the patience of other spouse.
8. Imbalanced religiosity: Churchy wife cannot build ideal home without her husband. Prayerful husband must
encourage the wife to be, because it is the two God recognizes.
9. Communication abuse: When issues lie floating without adequate talk over, idealness may crumble.
Feedback, quality time, listening correctly, selection of appropriate words and medium strengthen the
structure of an ideal Christian home.

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 10. Mismanagement of context: Ideal home is by context. The circumstances and challenges around homes differ
from one another. When you understand your context – what you are (content), why you are (purpose), where
you are (current location and status), how you live (economy) and to whom you live (responsibility) – you will
be unique and outstanding as an ideal home. Do not copy and paste a home you admire without
understanding your context. It may be unfitting for you. Live after your Bible.
11. Swapping of roles and responsibility: Roles are unique to personality. Any substitution will have flaws. Man
is called to be the head of the home, not woman. His financial weakness does not grant the wife power to
head the home. The wife with good economy still remains help mate to the husband. This is the order of God.
Maintain roles, maintain idealness.

HOW TO MAINTAIN CONTINUITY FOR AN IDEAL CHRISTIAN HOME

1. Centralize God in your home 8. Use SWOT to build yourselves

2. Know and perform your roles responsibly 9. Ready to obey Bible
3. Renew your marriage vows often 10. Manage conflict
4. Open to corrections from one another 11. Bridge your gap as soon as possible
5. Respect one another in and out of the home 12. Pray always together
6. Learn more together 13. Celebrate your spouse
7. Set a target, budget and project together

THE RESOLUTION

This resolution is for a husband/father that will build an ideal Christian home. Please read after me.

 I do solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children.
 I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God as the spiritual leader of
my home.
 I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my life for her as Jesus
Christ did for me.
 I WILL bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all
of their strength.
 I WILL train them to honour authority and live responsibly.
 I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy.
 I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion.
 I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family.
 I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged.
 I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God.
 I WILL seek to honour God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will.
 I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life
and for His glory.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. – Joshua 24:15 (Curled from The Resolution in the Movie, The Courageous
Living).

Prepared by:

Pastor Allen Olatunde

Chaplain, PMBGS, Abeokuta, 08032346674, allen.olatunde@gmail.com

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