Running head: APPLICATION OF THEORY TO PRACTICE PAPER: ADULT

DEVELOPMENT

Application of Theory to Practice Paper: Adult Development

Birdgewater State University
Linsdale Graham
Application of Theory to Practice Paper: Adult Development

“My life has been a winding road filled with pebbles and stones but I have been dancing all the

way through it.” These are some words of Mrs. Y who is 71 years young. Upon contemplating

people for this assignment, Mrs.Y seemed like just a person I’d want to have a conversation with

about life. Not only to find out more about their amazing family but also because I met her once,

briefly, and her energy permeated the room and with a warmness that you don’t get to experience

very often. This energy I got the pleasure to experience in its entirety when I was able to sit

down with her on her porch in Cape Cod, as it was a beautiful day out and so her story started to

unfold. I inquired about her and her life, this information I will use do an assessment of the adult

stage in life in relation to Valliant (2000). From our conversation, it was evident that there was a

mastery of intimacy, career consolidation and generativity but also that they did follow a

chronological or linear fashion.

According to the Merriam Webster dictionary it defines intimacy as something of a personal or

private nature. I asked Mrs. Y what intimacy means to her and rather than a definition she gave

me synonyms and situations which allowed her to better express herself. Words that came to

mind was family, togetherness, and a sense of closeness. I then asked her to tell me what role

intimacy has played in her life. She took a deep breath and started to recount to herself what

specific situation she would like to expound on and she began to speak. She spent most of her

life as a school teacher and said that the way she operated with her classroom is the way she

operated within her family life and that was a sense of closeness and togetherness. To her

intimacy is way more than physical or proximity in closeness, which she does believe plays a

huge role but more she said it’s the mental closeness you share with people. She said she had her

students mostly for a year, but within that year she tried to connect with them on an emotional
Application of Theory to Practice Paper: Adult Development

level because she felt that was the only way her lessons could be more impactful. Mrs. Y

captured the importance of emotional and mental intimacy while serving purpose for efficiency

at her job but more importantly for her to teach more than her regular curriculum. She spoke of

the hidden curriculum in the classroom and how she believes that it can only be accomplished if

we get to the level of our students and get intimate. She also spoke of her family and the fact that

although her children live away, she still strives to maintain a sense of emotional intimacy with

them through communication whether via visits or phone calls or a brief facetime chat to see

their smiling face. She was almost finish talking about her kids until she had an almost “Ah-hah”

moment and said how she could not talk about her husband and the intimacy they have shared.

They have been married for many years and says that without a sense of true intimacy they

would have never survived. Saying that true intimacy means having space to accommodate the

changes someone we love will experience. Upon reflecting back on her words it was evident that

one of the coping processes in her life was that of openness and also optimism. Despite the

situation she seem to have survived because she kept an open and optimistic mind about what the

outcome would be. She even said at one point her husband had a drinking problem and would get

consistently drunk, while he was not abusive he was destructive and it was embarrassing. She

said she supported him through being positive and letting him sort things out. While she also

mentioned that realizing when someone is destructive to us and our wellbeing we must love

enough to let them go. Vaillant (2000) mentions that "intimacy allows the mutual sharing of self

with another in a way both can enjoy." Mrs. Y loved her family and loved her students and

caring for people and as a result, found no difficulty in this mutual sharing that Vaillant talks

about. Intimacy involves some level of vulnerability, which often makes people reluctant out of
Application of Theory to Practice Paper: Adult Development

general fears we have as people. However, as is seen by the closeness and the joy gained by Mrs.

Y, it’s a necessary factor in order for us to truly experience and enjoy this life.

In addition to intimacy, career consolidation was almost intertwined for Mrs. Y as she progressed

into adulthood. It is often said that we are what we do, and according to Mrs. Y it is true to a

large extent. She said while she has a degree in education and is interested in many other things,

her life as a teacher and the experiences she has definitely shaped her to an extent. Not only the

intimacy she mentions as being important, she says it’s important to love what you do and enjoy

it because so much of our time and energy is spent towards it. Her overarching advice was to not

just find a job but ensure it’s a career or activity that I truly get passion from because so many

live their lives doing things they do not enjoy. According to Valliant, career consolidation is

marked by a person making a clear defined career choice which is different from just having a

job. It entails, commitment, compensation, contentment and competence. All of which is

apparent that Mrs. Y had established for herself. She had an unending commitment which

resulted in an unwavering regard by those she works with and past students she has impacted.

Mrs. Y modestly mentions having received various awards from her school over the course of

years but says none of those mean anything to her compared to the news from past students

doing well in life. She mentions that she does not try to rate their success on anything else other

than them actually doing something they love or enjoy doing. She says the amount of money or

their material possessions are nothing to their happiness or contentment with their life. She says

that teachers may never be paid enough for the work they do like many other careers, but it

afforded her more important things like time with her family during her summer and winter

breaks. This she says was a major part of her wanting to be a teacher, for the engagement with
Application of Theory to Practice Paper: Adult Development

students but also for the breaks because she wanted that closeness with her family and knew

excess money and limited time would not have allowed that. There not only seems to be

contentment on her life choice as a teacher but she also displays great competency in her

rationale of what is important for her in impacting the life of students. While Mrs. Y is really

happy with her life work she does account success in her career consolidation with her ability to

be open and honest with her students which ultimately means the intimacy shared was a

precursor to her success and enjoyment in this field.

Intimacy allowed for her career consolidation and ultimately she says that having and leaving an

impact on the lives of others, other than her own children, is something she definitely think

about. I asked her what has been her most fulfilling thing about her life thus far, she responded

by saying she is most pleased with the fact that she was able to bring positivity to the people

around her. She specified that no matter if the experience was a great or detrimental one, whether

she said it or not, in her heart she always extended happy and positive thoughts out to those she

came in contact with. I also asked her if she thinks about a legacy, if it’s something she considers

important to her life. She says she never did before maybe reaching the age of 70, she said it’s a

bitter sweet feeling of aging after living such a full life because she wants to do so much more

but also feels content with the impact she has had on those she came in contact with. Mrs. Y

recounted meeting a past student in one of the strangest places, she said she travelled out of state

to visit her son in California and she said surprisingly at the airport someone called by her

Maiden name. She was unsure if it was her or not because no one has called her that for a while,

but they repeated it and a young man walked up to her and introduced himself. She said she was

not recognizing the face but the name definitely brought back a memory and the young man had
Application of Theory to Practice Paper: Adult Development

been working as a CEO of a company and was on a business trip. He praised her for being an

amazing teacher and he said that she encouraged him by making him feel like he could do

anything. It was even more profound to her because he said he was diagnosed with ADHD later

in life but felt like he was dismissed by so many teachers throughout his life as a problem child

but she is one of the few who had patience with him in class and made him feel like despite his

challenges he could still be whatever he wanted to be. She said knowing that the Youngman was

striving and that just by her showing love and compassion his life was impacted, she feels like

she has left a legacy. She was happy knowing her legacy was one of love and patience because

they are some of the core principles she has used to guide her life. She mentioned that it’s in

those little moments that she feels a sense of fulfillment. She did something out of love and care

and it made an impact and she says that’s the most she could ask for out of this life.
Application of Theory to Practice Paper: Adult Development

Reference

Erikson, E. H. (1978). Adulthood: Essays. New York: Norton

Intimacy | Definition of Intimacy by Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). Retrieved from

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/intimacy

Vaillant, G. E. (2000). The wisdom of the ego. Cambridge: Harvard University Press.