4A OPINION

Del Rio

Sunday, March 12, 2017 | ruben.cantu@delrionewsherald.com

BORDERLINES ANOTHER VIEW

Further
adventures
of Floridaman
File this under Only
In Texas.
The other day, on
Interstate 10 on my
way to San Antonio,
I happened to pass a
late model Corvette
convertible with duct
tape and electrician’s Bill Bouldin
tape holding in a sheet
of what appeared to be er quickly locked the
Saran Wrap in place of doors to prevent the
the rear window. candy thief’s escape,
The juxtaposition of whereupon the woman
such an up-scale sports went on a 10-minute
car and such a down- rampage inside the
scale repair amused store. Surveillance
me, and reminded cameras caught her in
me that Florida is not the act of pushing over
alone in the field of display racks, scatter-
remarkable human ing products, smashing
behavior. bottles and ransacking
But Florida surely coolers. To prevent
retains the crown. further damage to the
I am still trying to store, the manager
run down the authen- unlocked the doors and
ticity of a report that the woman escaped on
surfaced late last year foot.
of a Florida man who Without getting into
is said to have died in too much salacious
a meth lab explosion. detail, headlines tell
According to accounts the tale of the further EDITORIAL
— as yet unverified adventures of Florida-
— the explosion was
touched off when the
man and Floridawom-
an.
Energy company boosting regional economy
unfortunate victim SENATE CANDI-
MMEX Resourc- refinery will be locat- state-of-the-art refin- form of the creation
attempted a “Blue DATE TOOK MONEY
es Corp., an energy ed 20 miles northeast ery along the region’s of approximately 400
Angel” exhibition. You FROM WISE GUYS.
company focusing on of Ft. Stockton, near existing railway jobs during the con-
can Google the term for The mobsters were
acquisition, develop- the Sulfur Junction infrastructure, we struction phase, while
yourself, but I can tell careful to abide by
ment and financing spur of the Texas hope to bring a local additional indirect
you it involves passing contribution limits,
of oil, gas, refining Pacifico Railroad, in a and export market for jobs are expected from
gas and a cigarette though.
and infrastructure 250-acre facility. crude oil and refined catering, workforce
lighter. SENIOR
projects in Texas and MMEX’s intention products which will housing, construction,
Never- BUST-
South America, an- is to utilize the ex- add substantial job equipment and other
theless, ED IN
nounced last week its isting railways net- and economic growth industries.
Florid- SHUF-
plans to build a brand work to export diesel, to West Texas.” Once operation-
aman FLE-
new $450 million refin- gasoline, and jet fuels; The construction al, the refinery is
and his
ery in Ft. Stockton. liquefied petroleum of the plant is expect- expected to provide
trusted BOARD
The announcement gas; and crude oil to ed to start by early an estimated of 100
compan- RAGE
of the new energy proj- western Mexico and 2018. MMEX plans to permanent jobs.
ion Florida- INCIDENT.
ect is already creating South America. surround the refinery Headquartered in
woman have been as He was 81, wielded a
buzz among regional “The Permian Basin with an additional Austin, the MMEX
busy as ever in recent shuffleboard cue.
businesses, which is the largest contin- 250 acres of buffer management team
months, and continue COPS: MAN USED
have been has more
activity at their accus- 7-11 COOLER AS RE-
affected than 30
tomed haunts — Wal STROOM.
by fluctu- years
Mart, convenience Says he couldn’t find
ations of of expe-
stores and fast food the urinal.
interna- rience
joints. SUSPECT: I’M NOT
tional oil build-
Back in October, a A PEDOPHILE, I’M
prices and ing and
350-pound Ft. Lauder- JUST A PERVERT.
a general managing
dale man reportedly Apart from that,
downturn gas pro-
bolted from his neigh- claims he was “law
of the oil cessing,
borhood Wal Mart abiding citizen.”
industry. pipelines,
carrying not one, but UBER DRIVER
Once the permits uous oil discovery property and leverage power plants, refinery
two 40-inch flat screen ARRESTED AFTER 5
and financing sides in America and has state-of-the-art emis- and oil and gas opera-
TVs, valued at $298 A.M. CREEP ACT.
of the operation are experienced expo- sions technologies to tions in Peru and the
each which he neglect- Followed female
covered, the plant nential gains in daily minimize the environ- United States.
ed to pay. passengers home.
will have a capacity production volume mental impact. The company’s
His getaway was SIBLINGS BUSTED
of 50,000 barrels per recently. The existing It also expects to management an-
complicated by a FOR ROBBERY OF
day. The refinery will facilities and pipeline feature closed-in nounced that it will
wardrobe malfunction, GIRL SCOUT.
be the first of its kind networks are largely water and air-cooling establish local offices
when his pants fell to Cookie monsters
to be built in over 40 unequipped to handle systems, which will and representatives to
his ankles as he ran stole $200 from 12-year-
years in the U.S. and this growth and are require very little keep the surrounding
through the parking old.
and will be refining limiting where prod- local water resources. communities in-
lot. Police reports say COPS: MAN
the West Texas Perm- ucts can be transport- The refinery is expect- formed throughout the
— and surveillance DRIVES SIX MILES
ian Basin oil. ed,” stated Jack W. ed to start operations construction phase
cameras confirm — he WITH WIFE ATOP
Ft. Stockton is locat- Hanks, President & in 2019. and once the refinery
literally ran out of his CAR.
ed 185 miles northwest CEO of MMEX Re- The good news is fully operational.
pants and left them at Suspect said he
of Del Rio, along U.S. sources Corp. for south and west
the scene. didn’t know she was on
Highway 90 West. The “By building a Texas comes in the
Interestingly the roof.
enough, the abandoned And so it goes in the
pants contained the Sunshine State.
man’s medical ID card, INTERESTING MALLARD FILMORE
which enabled author- HOLIDAYS THIS
ities to arrest him on WEEK: March 13th
felony charges of grand – Jewel Day. Also
theft in short order. Ear Muff Day. 14th –
But Florida police National Pi Day, 15th
are still searching for – National Everything
a woman who was You Think Is Wrong
observed by a Jackson- Day. Also Dumbstruck
ville convenience store Day, fittingly. Enjoy.
manager of stuffing $11
worth of candy bars in — Bill Bouldin is a
her purse. The manag- local columnist

CONTACT YOUR LAWMAKER

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