TOPIC 1

Topic: The issue of gay marriage remains controversial. Some people think that this
trend has adverse effects on the society while others believe that it is seen as a
natural trend and right for people to choose this type of marriage. Should gay
marriage be legal?

Sample answer

In recent years, gay marriage has caused public controversy around the world. Although this
trend is not gained by a number of people, the returns are highly justifiable.
on the one hand, it is clear that an acceptance of gay marriage will benefit not only those
who belong to this kind of gender but also the whole society. First, by being applauded by
the community, it is clear that gays will have more opportunities to make friends and seek a
suitable marriage partner. In this way, they definitely gain a perfect marriage that leads to a
happy life. Second, If gays can live with their true sexes and be respected by the society,
they will study and work creatively and productively that benefits themselves and the society,
especially in economic areas.
On the other hand, there are several reasons why the government should not ban gay
marriage. First, it can deny that the third-gender-people are not guilty since they can not be
chosen their gender since they were birth. they, therefore, have to have their human rights,
including the right to choose their partner to get married. second, if gay marriage is illegal
and gays are stigmatized, they will feel a sense of social isolation that may lead to the social
problem or even crime. for example, in a number of nations where gay marriage is banned
and the third-gender-people are considered as a kind of guilty, they will find it difficult to seek
a job that allows them to cover their basic needs, they, therefore, have no choice but
committing crime to survive.
(Written by Nguyễn Thư)

------------------------------
Corrected Essay

In recent years, gay marriage has caused public controversy around the world. Although this
trend is not gained by a number of people, the returns are highly justifiable.
 The second sentence is very ambiguous. It’s hard to know which opinion the author is of.
Unclear introduction will severely damage your score in Task Response.
 No need to start your essay with “in recent years”. It is a weasel word that contributes
nothing to the essay’s writing quality. If you are worry that you cannot meet the 250 words
requirement, I suggest you put the time expression at the end of the sentence.

On the one hand, it is clear that an acceptance of gay marriage will benefit not only those
who belong to this kind type of gender but also the whole society. First, by being
applauded accepted by the community, it is clear that gays will have more opportunities to
make friends and seek a suitable marriage partner. In this way, they definitely gain a perfect
marriage that leads to a happy life homosexuals can marry each other and have their happy
lifes. Second, if gays can live with their true sexes sexual orientations and be respected by
the society, they will study and work creatively and productively that benefits themselves and
the society, especially in economic areas.
 The last phrase does not make sense with the whole sentence.
 The idea is okay, but the wording is too lengthy. Try to shorten your sentences.
 Words that express strong certainty like “definitely” or “perfect” are generally frowned in an
IELTS exam. Avoid using them.

On the other hand Furthermore, there are several reasons why the government should not
ban gay marriage. First, it can deny is undeniable that the third-gender-people are not guilty
since they can not be chosen were not be able to choose their gender since they were birth.
Therefore, they, therefore, have to have their human rights, including the right to choose
their partner to get married. Second, if gay marriage is illegal and gays are stigmatized,
they homosexuals will feel a sense of social isolation that may lead to the social problem or
even crime. for For example, in a number of some nations where gay marriage is banned
and the third-gender-people are considered as a kind of guilty criminals, they will find it
difficult to seek a job that allows them to cover their basic needs,. they,
therefore, Consequently, they have no choice but committing to commit crimes to survive.
 Why do you use “on the other hand”, when you are on the same side with the argument in
the first body paragraph? Use different connectives such as “furthermore”.
 According to Wikipedia, English speakers (and Westerners in general) rarely use the term
“third gender” to describe a homosexual person. I suggest you just use the word “gay” or
“homosexual”, since over-rephrasing keywords creates confusion to the readers.
 “They, therefore, have to” is a structure that is more suitable for speaking contexts. Putting
the connectives “therefore” after “they” means that the modal verb “have to” has to stay far
from the subject “they”, which is not encouraged in writing.
 Avoid using “they” too much. It makes your writing unclear
 Where is the conclusion?

Words: 268

Overall: 4.5
 Task Response: 4
✓ responds to the task only in a minimal way or the answer is tangential; the format
may be inappropriate (the author has written more than 250 words and provided
some relevants ideas. However, he did not write any conclusion, and his introduction
is also inadequate).
✓ presents a position but this is unclear (due to the unclear introduction)
✓ presents some main ideas but these are difficult to identify and may be repetitive,
irrelevant or not well supported (the second body paragraph doesn’t link well to the
first one)
 Coherence and Cohesion: 4
✓ presents information and ideas but these are not arranged coherently and there is
no clear progression in the response
✓ uses some basic cohesive devices but these may be inaccurate or repetitive (the
author only uses “on the other hand” and “therefore”, and the accuracy is off too.)
✓ may not write in paragraphs or their use may be confusing
 Lexical Resource: 5
✓ uses a limited range of vocabulary, but this is minimally adequate for the task
✓ may make noticeable errors in spelling and/or word formation that may cause
some difficulty for the reader
 Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
 ✓ uses only a limited range of structures
✓ attempts complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple
sentences
✓ may make frequent grammatical errors and punctuation may be faulty; errors can
cause some difficulty for the reader

TOPIC 2
Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who
seek to protect the environment. Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a
major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are
the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have
on animal life and human society?
Topic: Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to
protect the environment.

What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on
animal life and human society?

Sample answer:
An essential element of the ecosystem is water. Water pollution occurs when harmful
chemicals or microorganisms are released into water bodies, which results in the
degradation of animal and human’s life quality.

The most common cause of water pollution is the direct disposal of industrial and human
waste into the surface water. Another reason worth mentioning is the oil spill.Since the dawn
of industrialization, numerous factories have been discharging toxic chemical compounds
such as metallic sulfides or cyanides. When being introduced into lakes, rivers, and seas,
these toxic wastes poison freshwater or saltwater animals and plants, subsequently destroy
the ecosystem. Even when the industrial waste is buried in the ground, they can still
permeate the soil to pollute the underground water, thus begin the process again.

Another cause of water pollution is human waste. Various kinds of pathogenic bacteria live in
human feces, and they may cause gastrointestinal infection if they appear in the water
supply. Oil spills are also the reason for sea pollution. Most of the marine animals cannot
digest oil, or cleanse the spilling oil on their feathers. Therefore, they will die soon unless
there are human interventions. The spill also adversely affect seawater, which damages the
tourist industry of coastal regions.
 To summarize, water pollution is mostly the result of oil spills and industrial or human waste
disposal. It severely affects the environment and subsequently the life of animals and
human.

(275 words)

--------------------------------------------

Corrected essay
An essential element of the ecosystem is water. Water pollution occurs when harmful
chemicals or microorganisms are released into water bodies, which results in the
degradation of animal and human’s life quality.
 An important feature in a cause-effect essay is the lack of the author’s opinion. The
causes and the effects of a phenomenon are completely facts - they are not subjected to
your perspective. Therefore, completely avoid using “I” or “from my opinion” in this type of
essay.
 The author has successfully written the introduction. He starts the essay with a “hook”
sentence (highlighting the relevance of the topic question - water is important, so we must
care about water pollution). He also provides an explanation of water pollution, as well as its
effects.

The most common cause of water pollution is the direct disposal of industrial into the surface
water. Since the dawn of industrialization, numerous factories have been discharging toxic
chemical compounds such as metallic sulfides or cyanides. When being introduced into
lakes, rivers, and seas, these toxic wastes poison animals and plants, subsequently destroy
the ecosystem. Even when the industrial waste is buried in the ground, they can still
permeate the soil to pollute the underground water, thus begin the process again.
 Many grammatical structures are presented in the above paragraph.
 The author uses the present perfect continous tense to talk about an ongoing trend.
 The first sentence in this paragraph is a simple sentence. The second and the third are
complex sentences. The last is a compound-complex one. Mixing up various sentence types
will give you good mark in Grammatical Range & Accuracy.
 The author has used some connectives: “when”, subsequently”, “even”, “thus”. Using
cohesive devices without gaining unwanted attraction will raise your band score in
Coherence and Cohesion.

Another cause of water pollution is human waste. Various species of pathogenic bacteria live
in human feces, and they will cause gastrointestinal infection if they appear in the water
supply. Saltwater fishes may die because of the depletion of oxygen levels in seawater
caused by ocean dumping.
 This body paragraph is kinda underdeveloped. There is only 3 sentences, and the last
sentence does not really connect to the idea of “human waste harms the environment”. The
author should write more here, since his essay only has 252 words (barely pass the
requirement)
 Still, there are some interesting vocab: pathogenic bacteria, gastrointestinal infection, water
supply, the depletion of oxygen levels, ocean dumping.

The oil spill, a disaster happens if crude oil is leaked from a petroleum tanker, is also a
reason of sea pollution. Most of the marine animals cannot digest oil, or cleanse the spilling
 oil on their feathers. Therefore, they will die soon unless there are human interventions. The
spill also adversely affect seawater, which damages the tourist industry of coastal regions.
 Throughout three paragraphs, the author has provided the effect of water pollution on both
animal and human life.
 Words like “petroleum tanker”, “marine animal”, and “human intervention” are advance
enough for the IELTS exam. You don’t have to use words that are too rare or archaic.
 Always try to shorten a clause into a phrasal noun. If the author had written like this:
“Therefore, they will die soon unlessthe government intervenes in oil spills”, then his writing
would have been less concise.

To summarize, water pollution is mostly the result of oil spills and industrial or human waste
disposal. It severely affects the environment and subsequently the life of animals and
human.
 A short but adequate conclusion. Don’t spend too much time to write the introduction and/or
the conclusion.

Words: 252

Overall: 9.0
 Task Response: 8
✓ sufficiently addresses all parts of the task (the author uses an appropriate writing
style for this essay, but he needs to write slightly more).
✓ presents a well-developed response to the question with relevant, extended and
supported ideas
 Coherence and Cohesion: 9
✓ uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention
✓ skilfully manages paragraphing (the author follows the standard format of a 5-
paragraphs essay, with ideas are coherently presented)
 Lexical Resource: 9
✓ uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of
lexical features; rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips’
 Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 9
✓ uses a wide range of structures with full flexibility and accuracy; rare minor errors
occur only as ‘slips’ (there is no grammatical errors)

TOPIC 3

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school
while others think it is a waste of time.
Topic:

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school
while others think it is a waste of time.
Discuss both views and give your opinion

Sample answer
The question whether art education is necessary for children at school has
drawn much attention from the public. While some people argue that teaching
art subjects is a waste of time, I believe that it is significant for children to learn
art-related subjects.

At the outset, it is thought by a handful of people that art education at school is

a waste of time. There are more important subjects that would benefit children
for their future life. Science, technology and mathematics, for example, are of
great significant subjects which allows students to find a good job after
graduation. On the other hand, studying arts does not lead to a successful
career. It is easy to see that those days, most artists have been struggling to
make a living from selling their work of art.

Despite the above arguments, from my perspective, learning art is necessary

for students at school because of some radical reasons. Firstly, art subjects
including music, drawing, painting and sculpture allow children to enter a state
of relaxation. After concentration on STEM subjects, what learners need is to
unwind by usefully physical activities in order to make a balance. For instance,
singing a song in the musical class could bring positive emotion to students.
Secondly, studying art could improve performance in other subjects. It is true
that art enhances fine motor skills, hand-eye coordination and problem-solving
skills which may assists children in attaining better learning outcomes.

In conclusion, although several individuals claim that it is a waste of time for

art education, it seems to me that having access to art classes is essential for
children.

(Written by Mason)

Corrected Essay
The question whether art education is necessary for children at school has
drawn much attention from the public. While some people argue that teaching
art subjects is a waste of time, I believe that it is significant necessary for
children to learn art-related subjects.
 The phrase “has drawn much attention from the public” is not only a
memorizing answer, but also very dull and off-topic. Please begin your essay
with a “hook” sentence - that is, to explain your perspective about the topic (in
this case, art).
 The author has stated his opinion - he is more on the side of “art is essential”.

At the outset, it is thought by a handful of people that art education at school is

a waste of time. There are more important subjects that would benefit children
for their future life. Science, technology and mathematics, for example, are of
great significant important subjects which allows students to find a good job
after graduation. On the other hand By contrast, studying arts does not lead to
a successful career. It is easy to see that those days, most artists have been
struggling to make a living from selling their work of art these days.
 Don’t begin your sentence with a weasel word like “at the outset” or
“nowadays”. They only distract the readers.
 “Significant” is not interchangeable with “necessary”, “essential”, or
“important”.
 “On the other hand” is used when you are talking about the other side of the
argument, and it should be followed by “on the one hand”.
 Either you put the time expression at the beginning of a sentence, or at the
end (preferrably). A essential feature of a good writer is the ability to correctly
use connectives without attracting any attention.
 Avoid sounding like you are 100% certain with your argument. “Studying arts
does not lead to a successful career” is a very bold saying, and I am sure that
numerous people will disagree with that.
 The author’s vocabulary and argument are very weak. To support the idea of
learning natural science subject, he should write more on how these subjects
help students in finding a good job (maybe because middle-class jobs like IT
specialist or financial analyst require their employees to be good at math, and
so on)

Despite the above arguments, from my perspective, learning art is necessary

for students at school because of some radical reasons. Firstly, art subjects
including music, drawing, painting and sculpture allow children to enter a state
of relaxation relax. After concentration concentrating on STEM subjects, what
learners need is to unwind by usefully physical activities in order to make a
balance balance their mind. For instance, singing a song in the musical class
could bring positive emotion to students. Secondly, studying art could improve
performance in other subjects. It is true that art enhances fine motor skills,
hand-eye coordination, and problem-solving skills which may assists children
in attaining to attain better learning outcomes.
 “Radical” is not a good synonym for “fundamental”. It sounds like “deviating by
extremes”, which are reserved for terrorists.
 “To enter a state of relaxation” sounds very wordy and unnatural. Simply using
“to relax” is fine, but if that’s too short, you can write something like “to reduce
 the stress after studying in natural science classes”, and then join two
consecutive sentences into one.
 “In order to” is very informal, so don’t use it.
 The author take 3 long sentences just to express the notion of “art helps you
relax”, without providing sufficient example or evidence. He needs to be more
concise.

In conclusion, although several individuals claim that it is a waste of time for

art education, it seems to me that having access to art classes is essential for
children.
 This conclusion appears very weak. While the author has expressed that he
agrees with the side “art is essential”, his argument isn’t sound (okay, you say
that “art is essential”, but someone claims the opposite, so which person is
right? Or better said, which side has fully supported his idea? The author has
failed to address that in his conclusion)

Words: 269
Overall: 6.0
 Task Response: 6
✓ addresses all parts of the task although some parts may be
more fully covered than others. (the author has written more than 250
words)
✓ presents a relevant position although the conclusions may
become unclear or repetitive
✓ presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately
developed/unclear
 Coherence and Cohesion: 6
✓ arranges information and ideas coherently and there is a clear overall
progression
✓ uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or
between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
✓ may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately (the
examples in the essays are mostly a repetition of the original argument,
without adding any insight)
✗ uses paragraphing, but not always logically (the author knows how to
use paragraphing, but that’s not enough to get a 7 in Coherence and
Cohesion)
 Lexical Resource: 6
✓ uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task
✓ attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
(the author has used some good words such as “fine motor skills”,
“hand-eye coordination”, and “problem-solving skills”. However, that’s
not enough to get a 7 in Lexical Resource due to various mistakes in
using phrasal verbs)
 ✓ makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they do not
impede communication
 Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
✓ uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms
✓ makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they
do not impede communication

TOPIC 4
Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly.
Others value quality of work above appearance.
WRITING TASK 2
Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly.
Others value quality of work above appearance.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Sample answer
Smart dressing style of workers is creating a controversy assumption .Few
organizations are supporting this while others are opposing it and confessing
as efficiency of work should be considered than their look.I believe,good
looking appearance of workers is important,nevertheless,quality of work also
plays a crucial role.
Now a days, lots of diversification can be seen in technology which is allowing
people to work from their places without reaching to company. For
instance,work from home.In such situations,candidates capacity will be more
considered than how they appear. There are variety of facilities available in
present day as per above example,where the customers,co-workers and
companies don't even see their employees,they are only focusing on the
quality of work done by them at such conditions people are not judged on their
outward look,which most people are contradicting.
On the other hand,some companies offer jobs and gather their staff under one
roof at this place they are expecting their employees to look greatly.To
exemplify,regions where people usually work there according to schedules
and return back to their residence after work.Organizations are very restricted
on this concern because having a good appearance will not only make them
feel good but also their surrounding.Which is prioritized for healthy
environment in working place,by doing so, companies are presuming that they
can excel in their work throughout the day. Moreover, exquisite outlook when
meeting other organizations will create a impression in positive manner and
business can also be developed inadvertently.
 To conclude,depending up on the categories people are working they should
be very cautious about how they are presenting themselves and however
work quality will be preferred more than anything.
(Written by madhusudhan)

Corrected essay
Smart dressing style of workers is creating a controversy assumption There are ongoing
arguments whether an employee should be required to have a good dressing sense. Few
organizations are supporting this while others are opposing it and confessing as efficiency of
work should be considered than their look. I believe, good looking appearance of workers is
important, nevertheless, quality of work also plays a crucial role.
 First, there is no collocation like “controversy assumption”. Second, using ubiquitous
buzzwords like “controversy” may make the IELTS examiner think that you just memorize a
sample introduction. And we all know how much IELTS examiners hate a candidate who
memorizes answers.
 The second sentence sounds unclear and ungrammatical. If you have trouble while writing a
complex sentence, first try to write two simple sentences.
 A clear opinion has been stated: the author partly agrees with both sides of the argument
(because of the word “also”)

Now a days Nowadays, lots of diversification can be seen in technology which technological
advancement is allowing people to work from their places without reaching to company. For
instance, work from home work-at-home has been more popular than in the past. In such
situations, candidates capacity will be more considered than how they appear work efficiency
of the employees will increase considerably. There are variety of facilities available in present
day as per above example, where the customers, co-workers and companies don't even see
their employees, they are only focusing on the quality of work done by them. At In such
conditions, people are not judged on by their outward look appearances, which most people
are contradicting.
 After starting a sentence with “for instance”, you have to follow with a full clause, with subject-
verb-object presented.
 Pay attention to the difference between synonyms. “To be considered” is different from “to be
recognized”, or “to be noticeable”. The same as “candidate” versus “employee”.

On the other hand, some companies offer jobs and gather their staff under one roof. at this
place they are expecting their employees to look greatly appear attractive. To exemplify,
regions where people usually work there according to schedules and return back to their
residence after work. Organizations are very restricted on this concern because having a good
appearance will not only make them feel good but also their surrounding create an appealing
working environment. Which is prioritized for healthy environment in working place, by doing
so, companies are presuming that they can excel in their work throughout the day boost
working motivation. Moreover, exquisite outlook a professional appearance when you are
meeting other organizations will create a impression in positive manner and business can also
be developed inadvertently.
 Many sentences appears ambiguous. It’s hard to understand what you are trying to convey.
 The second sentence in this part is unnecessary and it creates confusion.
 Relative pronouns like “which” should not be put at the beginning of a sentence.
 Try to use collocation. You have to learn which nouns can follow after a certain adjective.
Putting a noun next to an adjective does not create a natural and grammatical phrasal noun.
 To conclude, depending up on the categories people are working, they should be very cautious
about how they are presenting themselves, and however work quality will be preferred more
than anything.
 The conclusion here is not consistent with the introduction, since the author just says that he
is more on the side of “work quality” (because of the phrase “more than anything”). It is also
inconsistent with the two body paragraphs, since the argument of “good appearance” (the
second body paragraph) is also more well-presented. Inconsistent viewpoint will lower your
score in both of Task Response and Coherent & Cohesion criteria.
 Don’t forget to put a comma after a sentence clause, or in front of the word “and”.

Words: 259

Overall: 5.0
 Task Response: 5
✓ addresses the task only partially; the format may be inappropriate in places (the
author has written more than 250 words, but he did not express his view in any of the
two body paragraphs)
✓ expresses a position but the development is not always clear and there may be no
conclusions drawn (the conclusion is inconsistent with the rest of the essay)
✓ presents some main ideas but these are limited and not sufficiently developed; there
may be irrelevant detail (the first example in the second body paragraph is confusing)
 Coherence and Cohesion: 5
✓ presents information with some organisation but there may be a lack of overall
progression
✓ makes inadequate, inaccurate or over use of cohesive devices
✓ may be repetitive because of lack of referencing and substitution
✗ may not write in paragraphs or their use may be confusing (the author knows how
to paragraphing, but that’s not enough to get a 6 in CC, due to various aforementioned
faults)
 Lexical Resource: 5
✓ uses a limited range of vocabulary, but this is minimally adequate for the task
✓ may make noticeable errors in spelling and/or word formation that may cause some
difficulty for the reader
 Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
✓ uses only a limited range of structures
✓ attempts complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple
sentences (the author usually fails at producing a free-error complex or compound
sentence)
✓ may make frequent grammatical errors and punctuation may be faulty; errors can
cause some difficulty for the reader