on TOUGH stusr Pale Dawn of a New Day Recovery isa process, not an event. Anne Wien Sch Thad vay a alg of dead stad ing frend dep down within When happened me ith uch sure ag Yo woud never kro that preted "Athen 1 i not tnow how ky Thad Ben. 1 would sake tight soe linge, ean Parent and el at ach ter Although nes Siother alway ened up wih my mathe cing anithtavae aed me fuppece ty ner oul hear hem sn they ht teson Som ne ot ‘as possible. : ne eran ny mother old me she need tome. never thug fhe ova Mya at loves youth wah aoe ee ‘ier yen ty loner enjoyed cach others i company and Dat ul beget 8 dvr, AS ought back tes my mother contin tote how they fad ed ohare on TOUGH STUFF 20 make it work—for me. They said they never wanted to hurt me. They could never know how much it did. They aid that even though they no longer loved exch other, it did not affect how muich they loved me, and that my dad ‘woul move to an apartment nearby, close enough for me to walk to 1 could no longer hold back the tear, and Iran sobbing to:my room, slammed the door and collapsed on my bed. Vautched my pillow to my chest. Everything flashed through my head, everything I could have done to make it work Tay there, never wanting 0 leave the safety of my oom, not wanting to accept my new reality. | stared for hours out my second story window, not eally thinking ‘hot really lookin, just sitting out ofthe reach of my own. mind. Tiwoke up the next morning and trudged to the bus stop, At school my friends comforted me and I hated it. ivae trapped, and everyone made it worse. My friends tied to make me feel Better, but they always reminded {ne of how it had been before. I began to associate the pain Of the situation with them and it hurt. I pushed them Away, enjoying the solitude. 1 found | loved writing, though I shared my compost tions with no one. Everything had been turned upside down, No one knew. Lonly suffered internally hid inside Inysele maining the same person externally. My parents, inseparate places, acted as though nothing had happened, and that outraged me even more. ‘My father did not move to an apartment nearby. Instead, he stayed in our house. Tt was my mother who Jefe and moved to the other sie of town. Twas informed my father had fallen in love with a new “companion It hurt immeasurably to watch my father preferring to hold her hand instead of mine. My mother fad found one as well, and moved in with him. 1 woul |pend long hours at her house waiting to leave, feeling alone and ignored. I thought I would die My writings began to be terible stories of girl in far worse situations than |, making me feel more fortunate] moved back and forth between homes every week, and when anything went wrong, it was always the other pae ent’s fault. woke up every morning to meet the daven, ‘hich seemed to be paler and more frail than ever before one, not allowing anyone into my realty, I ried Now, two years later, almost never cry, fr fel that { have cried my share. I have accepted and moved on. Ive become closer to both of my parents, and throughout the trials they go through, I now feel involved andl helpful My mother’s companion recently left her and she came to me in friendship, looking for support But it still hurts quietly somewhere inside of me. wil never forget, and I will always miss how it was. Even though they fought, we were together and Inever appre: ciated it when we were. As for now, Lzealze that there nothing more beautiful than the dawning of a new day and that I must go.on