1

00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:12,261

Olivia.

2
00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:14,264
Angelo DeStevens.

3
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:16,516
Hi.

4
00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:22,147
You don't know who I am, do you?

5
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:25,116
[CHUCKLES] It's okay. Why would you?

6
00:00:25,117 --> 00:00:26,944
You're new to the business. Allow me.

7
00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:42,042
Press play, enjoy.

8
00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:48,083
The first thing I'd want
people to know about me

9
00:00:48,084 --> 00:00:50,421
is I am a friend of cannabis.

10
00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:55,013
So, if you're a friend of cannabis,
well, we have a mutual friend.

11
00:00:58,350 --> 00:00:59,350
Cannabis.

12
00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:00,983
[ANNOUNCER] <i>For over 30 years, </i>

13
00:01:00,984 --> 00:01:03,855
<i>Angelo DeStevens has
been a dynamic force</i>

14
00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:07,067
<i>in the cannabis space
for over three decades.</i>
15
00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:09,643
<i>Activist, founder of the world's</i>

16
00:01:09,644 --> 00:01:11,989
<i>premier chain of marijuana dispensaries,</i>

17
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,657
<i>Bud Bong and Beyond.</i>

18
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:18,829
<i>And author of Amazon Top 500
bestseller,</i> Smoke This Book.

19
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:23,834
<i>As well as its companion,</i>
Smoke This Audiobook.

20
00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:28,755
Some people pick up the clarinet
for the first time, and it's like

21
00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:31,925
they've been playing their
whole life. It comes natural.

22
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,593
<i>For others, it's the bassoon.</i>

23
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,138
<i>Others, it's the contrabassoon.</i>

24
00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:38,974
That's the bigger bassoon.

25
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:40,434
[BLOWING CONTRABASSOON]

26
00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:46,940
Well, my contrabassoon was marijuana.

27
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<i>I knew from the minute I started
smoking it that I was born to do this.</i>

28
00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:55,907
<i>And that I would do this.</i>

29
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:59,411
[STUTTERS] Okay, [CHUCKLING]
that's not a carrot, Winston.

30
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:00,495
Ah.

31
00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:07,377
Holy shit, it's Angelo DeStevens!

32
00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:11,798
- So, you know who I am?
- Are you kidding? I smoked your book.

33
00:02:13,342 --> 00:02:15,677
[TRIXIE SMITH'S "JACK,
I'M MELLOW" PLAYING]

34
00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:19,055
<i>♪ I'm so high... ♪</i>

35
00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:22,517
♪ <i> Jack, I'm mellow </i> ♪

36
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,730
Angelo, this is such an honor.

37
00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:30,275
I've been following your
career since you had one braid.

38
00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:31,359
No, no, no.

39
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,570
No, no. I am the one who's honored.

40
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,364
By Olivia's Shitballs.

41
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:38,177
The brilliant combination of delicious
42
00:02:38,178 --> 00:02:41,203
edible marijuana and poo-poo humor.

43
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,162
Bravo.

44
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:46,083
Well, I'm just glad you like them.

45
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:50,045
- Seriously, I'm at a loss for words.
- Well, let me help you find them.

46
00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:52,672
Innovative. Transformative.

47
00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:54,465
Lucrative.

48
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:56,343
You. Me.

49
00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:59,596
Meeting. Office. Noon.

50
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:03,975
Today. Six. Thousand. Sunset.

51
00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:07,312
The rest of the words are on
this card I found in your ear!

52
00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:10,023
Oh, my God! Oh, my
God! He does magic, too!

53
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:11,233
[LAUGHING]

54
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:19,533
I walked in the bedroom and I
said, Jim, you're cheating on me.

55
00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:21,166
At first, he tried to deny it,
56
00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:23,912
but I could see Rosita
hiding underneath him.

57
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,461
Oh, my God, Maria, I am so sorry.

58
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,255
Where did you guys leave it?

59
00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:35,006
We're taking a break.

60
00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:36,633
I'm at home with the kids,

61
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,970
and he's at the apartment
downtown I didn't know he had.

62
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:45,392
It's just a bed and a sex
swing. I mean, where do they eat?

63
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:49,603
Uh...

64
00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:52,983
Ruth, there's a Walter here for you.

65
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:57,362
Walter? The guy from the other
night? Your cute new boyfriend?

66
00:03:57,446 --> 00:04:00,574
- Wait, boyfriend?
- No. No, he's a patient.

67
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:03,493
- He's here to buy pot.
- Not from me, apparently.

68
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:06,121
Tell Walter I'll be right out.
69
00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:07,872
Go get him, Ruth.

70
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,667
Don't let love die on
me twice this week. Okay?

71
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:13,545
Yeah, no, seriously, I need this.

72
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:16,923
Okay. Now you can go. Go.

73
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,765
- Hello there.
- Hello, Ruth.

74
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:25,931
[RUTH] How's it going?

75
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:29,352
Wait, is this Old Walter or Fun Wally?

76
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:30,437
You tell me.

77
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,104
Uggs.

78
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:41,031
You, sir, are living on the edge.

79
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,575
- I'm reckless and wild.
- [RUTH CHUCKLES]

80
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:46,578
And the best part is my
feet are drenched in sweat.

81
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:47,704
[RUTH CHUCKLES]

82
00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:51,666
- So, what can I do for you?
- Ruth, this morning, I woke up,

83
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:55,670
and for the first time in my
life, I was out of marijuana.

84
00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:02,427
You're never out of marijuana.
You're between marijuanas. Jenny?

85
00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:05,514
- Yes. How can I help?
- Can we both help? I wanna help.

86
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,142
Uh, could you get Walter
an eighth of Hindu Kush?

87
00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:13,980
Look at me, walking around in my
Uggs with an eighth of Hindu Kush.

88
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,317
I feel like Burt Reynolds.

89
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,819
[LAUGHING]

90
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:24,324
So, what other adventures have
you got on your agenda today?

91
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:29,913
Well, I know this is gonna sound
funny, but I might go try sushi.

92
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,998
Oh, my God. You never had sushi?

93
00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:34,292
I've eaten tuna straight out of the can.

94
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,255
But I've been told that doesn't count.

95
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:44,970
Well, uh, I know my way around a
sushi bar. If you'd like, I could...

96
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,763
- You wouldn't mind?
- [CHUCKLES]

97
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,182
It's happening!

98
00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:59,442
That's right, dopers,
Tae Kwon Douglas is back.

99
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,347
Whoa, what are you doing, little girl?

100
00:06:04,348 --> 00:06:06,324
Writing in your diary? [CHUCKLES]

101
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:09,995
Take care of that key. I lost mine.

102
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,873
Yeah. I was working on
material for my stand-up.

103
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,667
Oh, yeah. [YELLS]

104
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:20,964
- What's up with the leg?
- What's up with your face?

105
00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:24,047
You're limping.

106
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:27,762
That's because I was severely
injured by your co-worker, Pete,

107
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:31,099
who booby-trapped our campsite
with a giant ball of death.

108
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:33,020
Luckily, I was able to absorb the blow

109
00:06:33,021 --> 00:06:35,312
with my upper thigh and rear glute.

110
00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:39,441
It's the body's biggest
muscle, according to WebMD.

111
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:43,653
You know, maybe I should
keep my notebook handy.

112
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:49,451
No, I'm here to inform you all
that I hereby claim a parking space

113
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:52,621
to be reserved solely for
customers of Intensity Plus.

114
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:54,998
Doug, you can't do that.

115
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,582
Oh, really?

116
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:57,917
Pete and what army?

117
00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,586
[LAUGHING]

118
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:03,798
That's funny to you? Why don't you
write this down in your funny book?

119
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:07,636
"Dear Diary, Doug's
cool, and I'm not." Yeah.

120
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:16,937
And with that, I bid you a
not-so-fond <i>yeoboseyo!</i> God.

121
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,521
- Yobo-say-what, Doug?
- No.

122
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:20,690
Oh, that shit's funny.

123
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,115
Greg.

124
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,077
You're home.

125
00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:34,162
I couldn't miss Christmas.

126
00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:35,997
[GRANDMA CHUCKLING]

127
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,874
No one else is up yet.

128
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,459
I know how to get them up.

129
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,800
Is that Tokelers?

130
00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:48,092
Oh.

131
00:07:58,353 --> 00:07:59,396
Ah.

132
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,691
Mm.

133
00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:13,784
Greg.

134
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:15,620
Merry Christmas, Mom.

135
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,046
[GRANDMA COUGHING]
136
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,803
[SIGHING]

137
00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:33,430
[ALL LAUGHING]

138
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,307
<i>♪ The best way to wake and bake ♪</i>

139
00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:41,271
[ANNOUNCER]<i> Tokelers.</i>

140
00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:45,942
So... let's talk Shitballs.

141
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:50,071
Yes, let's spitball about Shitballs.

142
00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:52,615
I am stealing that.

143
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,746
Olivia, Travis, I'm gonna be blunt.

144
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:01,041
When I think of the future
of Olivia's Shitballs,

145
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,585
I get a raging mind-boner.

146
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:07,464
Then I'm glad you're
wearing that hat. [CHUCKLES]

147
00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:08,922
Behold.

148
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,384
The next step in our adventure.

149
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:21,061
Might take a little while. In hindsight,

150
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,646
I should have pressed the
button a minute ago. [LAUGHS]

151
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,608
My brother-in-law Paul
did some work on it, so...

152
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,735
Oh, it used to come up real fast.

153
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:31,988
I'm gonna talk to Paul. He
probably pocketed some of the dough

154
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,866
and bought a cheap motor
for it. [CHUCKLES] So...

155
00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:37,202
Oh, here we go. Okay, good.

156
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:41,581
Behold, the next step of our adventure.

157
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:46,294
Ah. It's the wrong input.
Here we go. No, I got it.

158
00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:51,216
The lettering is so small. Here
we go. Now, how do you get over?

159
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:55,970
Oh, here we go. Got it. Got it.
Got it. Hold on. Got it. Got it.

160
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:57,680
Got it. Got it.

161
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,099
[ANGELO CHUCKLES, THEN INHALES]

162
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:02,310
Behold, the next step to our adventure.

163
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:06,022
Olivia, we all know that
Shitballs are number two.

164
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:09,943
But what's number one?

165
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,070
Olivia's Pee Jar.

166
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,324
Oh, God.

167
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:18,910
Cannabis-infused lemonade
packaged as urine.

168
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,204
- It sells itself.
- [ANGELO] Yes.

169
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,624
Yes, it does sell itself,
but to maximize profits,

170
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:26,709
I propose that we sell it.

171
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,797
Oh, Olivia, you have something
hanging from your nose.

172
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:34,717
Could that possibly be
Olivia's Gummi Boogers?

173
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,139
That's snot bad.

174
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:40,342
[TRAVIS AND ANGELO LAUGHING]

175
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,142
This guy gets it.

176
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:44,727
Okay, guys, I'm getting
a little nauseous.

177
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:48,481
Funny you should mention
that. Olivia's Chunky Vomit.

178
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:52,235
Cannabis pasta sauce?

179
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:56,990
I can't think of a single person
on the planet who wouldn't buy that.

180
00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:03,204
Olivia, with my access to $5 million
in capital and your brand and...

181
00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:07,458
- Travis...
- [LAUGHS]

182
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:15,425
the only limit to this dream
is what your body can secrete.

183
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,738
- Please tell me we've hit that limit.
- [ANGELO CHUCKLES]

184
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:22,515
No, no, no. We're just
getting started. Behold!

185
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:25,393
Oh, no, no, no! Goddamn it, Paul!

186
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:28,812
Thanks.

187
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:32,191
This is not some kind of food, right?

188
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:35,069
It's not some kind of rice towel?

189
00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:37,655
No. I'm so tempted to say yes.

190
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,701
California roll, sushi
plate, and a seaweed salad.

191
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:43,244
[SPEAKING IN JAPANESE]

192
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:49,083
I get the towel now. It's
to spit this stuff into.

193
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,380
All right. Easy. Start
with the California Roll.

194
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:56,925
No, if I'm gonna do this, let's do this.

195
00:11:57,467 --> 00:12:03,848
I will try this one that
looks like caramel ice cream.

196
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:19,530
This is not caramel ice cream.

197
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:21,699
No, it's sea urchin.

198
00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:24,744
Technically, it's the
sea urchin's gonads.

199
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,457
So, he's as unhappy about this as I am.

200
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,376
[LAUGHING]

201
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:35,171
Would this be better if I were high?

202
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:36,339
You're not high?
203
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,883
Oh, I've got so much to teach you.

204
00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,764
Are you ready to do something crazy?

205
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:47,767
I just gargled a sea urchin's nuts.

206
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:51,562
- I think I'm ready to try anything.
- [RUTH LAUGHS]

207
00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:13,668
<i>Oh, what's up, YouTube?</i>

208
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:17,296
<i>Our 30 days of house
arrest are finally over.</i>

209
00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:19,132
<i>Hell, yeah. </i>[CHUCKLES]

210
00:13:19,574 --> 00:13:20,584
[DABBY CHUCKLES]

211
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,340
I feel like Nelson Mandela

212
00:13:22,341 --> 00:13:24,387
when he broke out of
<i>Shawshank Redemption.</i>

213
00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:28,850
Yeah, we needed to go out and do
our favorite things that we missed.

214
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:32,812
For instance, I went to Color Me
Mine, and I made this mug for Dank.

215
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:39,652
You know it's true
because it's on a mug.
216
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:40,685
[BOTH LAUGHING]

217
00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:44,824
We're also catching up on
advances in the marijuana industry.

218
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:47,827
That's why we're here at
Ruth's Alternative Caring.

219
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,495
You see this invention?

220
00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:52,498
Pete is the technological genius

221
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,542
- that bought it.
- [PETE LAUGHS]

222
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,502
This is the BioWave Mini.

223
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,297
- Oh! Cool.
- Oh, shit, it glows.

224
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,966
Yeah. Now, it helps cannabis plants grow

225
00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:06,304
by generating subsonic harmonic
waves that increase plant respiration.

226
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:10,600
These green status lights tell us
that the BioWave is working properly.

227
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,727
Oh, my God. Can you believe it?

228
00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:16,773
In 30 days, the whole world changed.

229
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:21,069
I mean, robots are growing weed now.

230
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,989
Yeah, and the president's a man.

231
00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:29,160
It's a part of my new scientific
approach to growing weed.

232
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:33,623
In the past, I got a little too
emotionally attached to my plants,

233
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,501
and even gave them little
girls' names and talked to them,

234
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:38,544
which made it harder to...

235
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:41,464
murder them in the woods.

236
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:50,264
That's fucked up. Uh, can I touch it?

237
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:52,433
No, it's a very delicate
piece of equipment.

238
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,519
Whoa!

239
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,938
Oh, I can see the future, Dank!

240
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,480
<i>What do you see?</i>

241
00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:02,443
<i>- Shamrock Shakes are made of people!
- Oh!</i>

242
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,824
[GRUNTING]
243
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:08,907
Okay.

244
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,912
Doug, that was highly entertaining.

245
00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:17,166
Under the legal principle
of Eminent Dojang,

246
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,460
this parking spot is now mine.

247
00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:22,922
My students deserve a clear
visual of my storefront.

248
00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:24,966
[LAUGHING]

249
00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:29,637
Shut up. That's not really there.

250
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:35,518
Please, God, tell me you
mean the beanbag game.

251
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,688
Duh. What else does cornhole mean?

252
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,064
Well, it means...

253
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:43,358
Nothing.

254
00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:49,198
I use this game to teach my students
focus, balance and sack-handling.

255
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:53,995
- When I was overseas, we played cornhole.
- Oh, did you?

256
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:57,832
Oh, yeah. All the guys in my
platoon called me The Sniper.

257
00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:01,169
Except for the sniper.
He called me... Carter.

258
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:05,214
Well, the kids I play with
call me Captain Cornhole.

259
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:09,594
It spread to a couple of the dads,
and now it's a popular nickname.

260
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:11,134
Mm-hm. Well,

261
00:16:11,135 --> 00:16:14,974
you know, why don't we settle this
parking spot bullshit with a game?

262
00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:16,601
Oh, yes.

263
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,394
Yes, indeed.

264
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,338
You and I are gonna cornhole
out here in this parking lot

265
00:16:21,339 --> 00:16:23,400
for everyone to see.

266
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:29,155
- Let's do this.
- I'll go grab my sacks.

267
00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:30,490
[CARTER LAUGHS]

268
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:38,247
Hey. How's the BioWave working?

269
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:42,460
It's amazing. Their
root system is thriving.

270
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:44,962
The moisture intake has
increased 19 percent.

271
00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:49,967
And also, I have a better appetite
and thicker, bouncier hair.

272
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:59,352
You know, I seriously wish
I had your sense of purpose.

273
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,313
- And your volume.
- [CHUCKLES] Yeah.

274
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:05,483
I've just always known
marijuana is my calling.

275
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,276
It helps people.

276
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:08,985
Heals people.

277
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,739
We're lucky to be part of it.

278
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:18,037
[IN CHINESE] Ooh! My name is
Jenny. Come see where I work.

279
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:21,541
- Isn't it cool? These are my coworkers.
- [LAUGHING]

280
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:24,043
Together we help people
be the happiest ever!

281
00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:28,756
I'm a helper. My wish
is to heal the sick.

282
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:33,135
So, my parents decided
I should be a doctor.

283
00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:36,180
It made me unhappy.

284
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:37,264
[SCREAMING]

285
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:38,265
[SOBBING]

286
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:41,644
I wanted to help another way.
All those patients I cannot save.

287
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,145
- Take one of these.
- [GASPS]

288
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:44,730
[LAUGHING]

289
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:47,441
[JENNY] The magic cure is weed.

290
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:49,610
Thank you very much!

291
00:17:51,362 --> 00:17:52,989
[MOANING]

292
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,072
[SCREAMING]

293
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:57,285
[PANTING]

294
00:17:57,368 --> 00:17:58,828
[GASPS]

295
00:17:58,911 --> 00:17:59,867
Ah!

296
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:01,247
Do you need any help?

297
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,165
[MOANING]

298
00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:05,543
[WHIMPERING]

299
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:08,504
[MOANING]

300
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,214
[SCREAMS]

301
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:12,550
This can't be. Ghosts don't exist.

302
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:15,469
[GHOSTS MOANING]

303
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:21,100
I failed you before.
How can I save you now?

304
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:22,518
[CRYING]

305
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:27,106
The magic cure is weed.

306
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:32,111
<i>Weed Healing Medication!</i>

307
00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:33,695
[JENNY LAUGHS]

308
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:35,864
Refreshing!

309
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:37,617
[LAUGHS]
310
00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:39,409
[SIGHS]

311
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:42,580
Thanks, Pete. I think
I just had an epiphany.

312
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:46,709
Was it that your hair would have
volume if you stopped wearing hats?

313
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:49,712
Thanks, Pete. I think I
just had two epiphanies.

314
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,172
[BOTH LAUGHING]

315
00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:59,513
Stoners are already eating my poop.

316
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,726
Now they'll eat every gross
thing that comes out of me?

317
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:07,146
How long before Angelo
does Olivia's Breast Milk?

318
00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,023
Third quarter, 2021.

319
00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:15,655
Come on, this is like a
dream come true for me.

320
00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:18,240
I had a poster of Angelo
DeStevens on my dorm wall.

321
00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:20,242
Did girls like that poster?

322
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:23,204
Had they come to my
room, they would have.
323
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,124
I don't know. I mean...

324
00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:31,671
What do I tell some little girl
who comes up to me and says:

325
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:34,423
"Ew, aren't you that
lady who makes pot vomit?"

326
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:40,513
You know what you say? You
say, "Yes, little girl, I am.

327
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:46,268
I'm a proud woman, who is not ashamed
of my body and what it produces.

328
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:50,773
All right? Real women pee, poop,
puke, have boogers, all right?

329
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,692
And it's all beautiful.

330
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:57,655
Especially when it has
pot in it, all right?

331
00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:01,575
And one day, little girl,
if you work hard enough,

332
00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:04,453
that's gonna be your
face on that jar of urine.

333
00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:08,708
And when that day comes...

334
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:13,629
I hope you remember who
broke that glass ceiling...

335
00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:17,425
and who took a dump on
the right side of history."

336
00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:23,013
It says here we get 200K
up front. Is that true?

337
00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:25,057
It is, little girl, it is.

338
00:20:27,101 --> 00:20:29,895
Why didn't you fucking say so? I'm in.

339
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,021
[LAUGHING]

340
00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:32,314
- Shit, yes!
- Yeah!

341
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,736
Can we do this already?

342
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,822
[SIGHS] Maybe to a jointhead like you,

343
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:41,449
the rules don't matter.

344
00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:43,993
But I like to cornhole the right way.

345
00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:47,455
That's what I'm talking
about. He has no idea.

346
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,790
How is that possible?

347
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,920
Wow, Doug, your cornhole looks so shiny.

348
00:20:57,590 --> 00:21:00,050
Well, thank you. I just had it waxed.
349
00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:03,095
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

350
00:21:04,138 --> 00:21:06,974
Are we about to do what
I think we're about to do?

351
00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:09,435
We're gonna blaze it up in the bathroom.

352
00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:16,525
There were kids in high school
who did things like this.

353
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:19,862
I wasn't one of them. I was
the one who told on them.

354
00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:22,740
You were a narc?

355
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,200
Walter was.

356
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:27,828
Wally's gonna get high in the crapper.

357
00:21:29,914 --> 00:21:31,767
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- [MAN] What are you two doing in there?

358
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,834
Uh, it was her idea.

359
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,170
Sorry, old habit.

360
00:21:41,759 --> 00:21:45,054
Hey, guys. I'm really excited
about our Strain O' the Day.

361
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,889
It's called Emperor Shennong.

362
00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:49,975
Named for the first man to
prescribe cannabis as medicine.

363
00:21:50,059 --> 00:21:51,977
- On sale this week for...
- Hold on.

364
00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:57,149
To appreciate the strain, you
need to understand the history

365
00:21:57,233 --> 00:21:59,276
of medicinal cannabis in China.

366
00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:02,237
Okay.

367
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:07,243
The year, 2700 B.C.E., the eastern
border of the Shanxi province.

368
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:08,326
Oh, shit.

369
00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:12,289
Emperor Shennong, wearing a cloak
made of herbs he used as medicine,

370
00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:15,918
wrote the earliest Chinese
pharmacopoeia, in which cannabis...

371
00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:17,336
Can we skip ahead?

372
00:22:17,419 --> 00:22:20,018
You wanna skip over thousands
of years of Chinese history?

373
00:22:20,019 --> 00:22:21,966
Check your privilege.

374
00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:27,429
Scientists discovered an
ancient tomb in the Gobi Desert

375
00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:30,558
that contained a man buried
with two pounds of cannabis

376
00:22:30,641 --> 00:22:32,059
for use in the afterlife.

377
00:22:32,142 --> 00:22:34,478
Unfortunately, he wasn't
buried with a lighter.

378
00:22:34,562 --> 00:22:35,604
[LAUGHING]

379
00:22:37,565 --> 00:22:39,108
That's not funny, Travis.

380
00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:42,736
I finally realize I'm not betraying
my culture by working here.

381
00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:43,988
I'm embracing it.

382
00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:46,824
Mom, I am gonna be a doctor.

383
00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:50,411
Just kidding. She'll never see this.

384
00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:54,039
Seriously, no one show her this.

385
00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:56,292
Cut. Cut it.

386
00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:57,835
Oh, God.

387
00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:05,259
To our adventure.

388
00:23:06,552 --> 00:23:09,346
[CHUCKLES] Next time, we
toast with Olivia's Pee Jar.
389
00:23:09,430 --> 00:23:11,015
[TRAVIS CHUCKLING]

390
00:23:11,098 --> 00:23:13,225
Olivia, urine the money.

391
00:23:13,517 --> 00:23:14,768
[ANGELO LAUGHING]

392
00:23:15,853 --> 00:23:19,398
- This guy is too much.
- [TRAVIS LAUGHING]

393
00:23:19,982 --> 00:23:21,275
[CELL PHONE RINGING]

394
00:23:21,358 --> 00:23:24,361
Sorry. That's probably an
important business call.

395
00:23:24,445 --> 00:23:25,738
Just excuse me. [CLEARS THROAT]

396
00:23:25,821 --> 00:23:26,864
Go for Travis.

397
00:23:28,991 --> 00:23:31,410
That's my assistant on
the phone with Travis.

398
00:23:31,493 --> 00:23:34,622
She'll tell him he won a
weekend at the Orlando Sheraton

399
00:23:34,705 --> 00:23:37,791
as long as he attends a
45-minute real estate seminar.

400
00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:39,168
How did he win that?

401
00:23:39,501 --> 00:23:43,672
No, no, no. It's a ruse. Uh, I
just wanted to talk to you alone.

402
00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:46,508
Uh, we hit a little bit
of a snag with our deal.

403
00:23:46,884 --> 00:23:50,679
The problem is my money
people. You know how they are.

404
00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:54,683
Uh, they crunched the numbers, and
they would really like to crunch

405
00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:56,852
the three of us into the two of us.

406
00:23:58,729 --> 00:24:02,274
- Are you saying we cut out Travis?
- [CHUCKLES] Yeah. We don't need Travis.

407
00:24:02,524 --> 00:24:04,860
Is a direct quote from the money people.

408
00:24:06,779 --> 00:24:10,366
- I can't do that to him.
- I told them you'd say that. They said,

409
00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:12,951
"Tell her she'll make
more money without him."

410
00:24:13,035 --> 00:24:14,995
And I said, "She won't do that."

411
00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:18,290
They said, "If he was a real
friend, he would understand."

412
00:24:18,374 --> 00:24:21,710
And I was like, "I don't know,"
they said, "Just ask her."

413
00:24:22,878 --> 00:24:25,964
It's not me. It's the
money people. You know them.

414
00:24:26,048 --> 00:24:30,094
- They sound like they're dicks.
- They are the worst. They're the worst.

415
00:24:30,177 --> 00:24:33,347
So, say the word, Travis is
history, and we make millions.

416
00:24:33,430 --> 00:24:35,933
Or kill the deal and
keep your stupid friend

417
00:24:36,016 --> 00:24:38,477
who, if he makes one more terrible pun,

418
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:42,606
I, Angelo DeStevens, am gonna beat
him to death with my contrabassoon.

419
00:24:42,690 --> 00:24:44,942
Again, that's the money people talking.

420
00:24:46,819 --> 00:24:47,819
[TRAVIS] Guys!

421
00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:50,572
I'm going to Orlando!

422
00:24:50,656 --> 00:24:52,282
[LAUGHING]

423
00:24:52,366 --> 00:24:53,867
When it rains, it pours.

424
00:24:57,955 --> 00:24:58,955
[GRUNTS]

425
00:25:00,165 --> 00:25:02,710
Jesus, Miyagi and
Joseph, another rim job.

426
00:25:04,670 --> 00:25:05,575
Come on, honey!

427
00:25:05,587 --> 00:25:07,423
[CHANTING] <i>Carter, Carter, rally starter!</i>

428
00:25:07,589 --> 00:25:08,716
Oh, sweetie.

429
00:25:09,091 --> 00:25:11,802
Watch how a four-year
all-county champion does it.

430
00:25:12,219 --> 00:25:13,762
Ready? Okay!

431
00:25:14,221 --> 00:25:15,973
[CHANTING] <i>Carter,
Carter, throw that sack!</i>

432
00:25:16,056 --> 00:25:17,850
<i>He served our country in Iraq!</i>

433
00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:19,393
<i>Hey, ho!</i>

434
00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:21,145
<i>Go, Bulldogs! Go, Bulldogs!</i>

435
00:25:21,228 --> 00:25:24,314
<i>Go, Bulldogs! Yeah!</i>

436
00:25:24,398 --> 00:25:26,024
<i>Yeah! Yeah!</i>

437
00:25:26,608 --> 00:25:27,609
[GROANING]

438
00:25:36,118 --> 00:25:37,995
And boom goes the dynamite.

439
00:25:38,078 --> 00:25:40,038
- [LAUGHS] We are tied at 20.
- [JENNY] Yes.

440
00:25:40,122 --> 00:25:42,666
- Next point wins, baby.
- Yeah. Yeah... [GROANS]

441
00:25:42,750 --> 00:25:44,877
Hey, you okay? We can
take a break, Doug.
442
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,212
You don't care that I'm hurt, Pete...

443
00:25:47,296 --> 00:25:49,548
I... Pizza face.

444
00:25:51,049 --> 00:25:53,177
Hey, you guys, how was the sushi?

445
00:25:53,260 --> 00:25:55,554
They kicked us out, so we got Taco Bell.

446
00:25:56,889 --> 00:25:58,682
Another thing I've never done.

447
00:25:58,766 --> 00:26:01,560
We got six pounds of
food for four bucks!

448
00:26:01,643 --> 00:26:02,643
[LAUGHING]

449
00:26:03,103 --> 00:26:04,103
I love them.

450
00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:05,898
I love the way... Okay. Right.

451
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,567
[CHANTING]<i> Ruth and
Walter, they're our couple.</i>

452
00:26:08,650 --> 00:26:11,111
<i>If they can't make it,
we're all in trouble.</i>

453
00:26:17,493 --> 00:26:20,245
Whoo! Whoo.

454
00:26:20,329 --> 00:26:24,041
You gotta swish this or
give up the parking spot.

455
00:26:24,124 --> 00:26:25,124
[GROANS]

456
00:26:25,751 --> 00:26:28,045
Jesus, you're bleeding. Are you okay?

457
00:26:28,128 --> 00:26:29,200
I'm fine!

458
00:26:29,201 --> 00:26:33,217
Blood is just the body's way of
saying you have an open wound.

459
00:26:34,968 --> 00:26:36,094
[YELLS]

460
00:26:37,095 --> 00:26:38,514
- Hey, man, look...
- No!

461
00:26:40,516 --> 00:26:41,642
[TAE KWON DOUG GROANING]

462
00:26:50,317 --> 00:26:52,069
[TAE KWON DOUG EXHALES DEEPLY]

463
00:26:56,615 --> 00:26:58,700
Intensity.

464
00:27:03,705 --> 00:27:04,957
Plus.

465
00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:23,433
[SPEAKS IN KOREAN]

466
00:27:23,725 --> 00:27:25,018
[LAUGHS]

467
00:27:33,735 --> 00:27:35,195
[LAUGHING]

468
00:27:52,129 --> 00:27:53,672
[YELLING]

469
00:27:55,716 --> 00:27:56,716
Good game, Doug.
470
00:27:57,384 --> 00:27:58,384
Thank you.

471
00:27:58,719 --> 00:28:02,514
Listen, if I pass out, make sure
no one plays with my cornhole.

472
00:28:04,516 --> 00:28:05,809
God, I love you, man.

473
00:28:07,269 --> 00:28:10,022
Easy, Carter, I like girls.

474
00:28:11,407 --> 00:28:12,441
Yeah.

475
00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:13,901
[LAUGHING]

476
00:28:15,152 --> 00:28:18,113
That was the best terrible
food I've ever had.

477
00:28:19,865 --> 00:28:22,492
That one thing was
somehow soft and crunchy.

478
00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:26,288
That's 'cause you ate part of the box.

479
00:28:26,371 --> 00:28:28,498
[LAUGHING]

480
00:28:28,582 --> 00:28:29,833
This was fun.

481
00:28:30,459 --> 00:28:32,878
But I better go home
and pump out my Uggs.

482
00:28:35,964 --> 00:28:40,010
- I'll talk to you soon.
- Well, you know where to find me.

483
00:28:47,392 --> 00:28:50,145
- Oh, God, tell us everything!
- How was the date?

484
00:28:50,229 --> 00:28:52,522
- Did he hold your hand?
- Promise to be your soul mate

485
00:28:52,606 --> 00:28:55,067
then leave you for a
hot Guatemalan gymnast?

486
00:28:56,026 --> 00:28:57,945
Or are you not at that stage yet?

487
00:28:58,987 --> 00:29:01,907
No, no, no. It wasn't a
date. We're just friends.

488
00:29:01,990 --> 00:29:05,452
Besides, I don't think Walter
wants anything more than that.

489
00:29:07,204 --> 00:29:09,164
Oh, hey. Did you forget something?

490
00:29:11,708 --> 00:29:12,876
I think I did.

491
00:29:15,212 --> 00:29:17,506
I wanted to say thanks for a great day.

492
00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:19,591
Well, you're welcome.

493
00:29:31,061 --> 00:29:32,521
Oh, God, I needed that!

494
00:29:39,194 --> 00:29:41,321
All right, Pete, I'll see you Monday.

495
00:29:42,906 --> 00:29:45,284
Did you want anything from Disney World?

496
00:29:45,701 --> 00:29:46,994
- Maybe ice cream.
- Yeah.

497
00:29:48,745 --> 00:29:52,249
- Everything's good in here?
- Never better, thanks to BioWave.

498
00:29:52,332 --> 00:29:54,418
You're not talking to it, are you?

499
00:29:54,501 --> 00:29:57,546
Nope. I'm not talking to it.
It's not talking to me. [CHUCKLES]

500
00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:14,146
<i>♪ I'm so high and so dry ♪</i>

501
00:30:14,229 --> 00:30:16,606
<i>♪ I'm way up in the sky ♪</i>

502
00:30:16,690 --> 00:30:19,276
<i>♪ The world seems light ♪
♪ And I'm so right ♪</i>

503
00:30:19,359 --> 00:30:21,486
<i>♪ Jack, I'm mellow ♪</i>

504
00:30:21,570 --> 00:30:23,822
<i>♪ I'm gonna put my nickel ♪
♪ In a slot machine ♪</i>

505
00:30:23,905 --> 00:30:26,283
<i>♪ And play my solid sender ♪</i>

506
00:30:26,366 --> 00:30:29,369
<i>♪ I'm gonna strut, peck and Suzie-Q ♪</i>

507
00:30:29,453 --> 00:30:31,079
<i>♪ 'Cause I'm on bender ♪</i>

508
00:30:31,163 --> 00:30:33,707
<i>♪ I'm so high and so dry ♪</i>

509
00:30:33,790 --> 00:30:36,126
<i>♪ I'm sailin' in the sky ♪</i>

510
00:30:36,209 --> 00:30:39,212
<i>♪ I got my roach around ♪
♪ I can't come down ♪</i>

511
00:30:39,296 --> 00:30:41,006
<i>♪ Jack, I'm mellow ♪</i>

512
00:30:41,007 --> 00:30:46,007
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -