Bust the Rut

Picture this: You have everything you could possibly ask for. A comfortable home, food
on the table, a job that pays quite well, a loving family, friends you can depend on.
Somehow though, there is a niggly feeling deep in your heart that something is missing.

We all want to enjoy life, little realizing that there is no such thing as getting to a stage
when you can enjoy life. You feel tired of the sameness of every day. Maybe you are
doing something that you don’t like, because you are forced into it, and a feeling of
resentment is slowly growing inside of you.

Actually, that is life’s way of nudging you to stop and take a really good look at yourself
and everything you do. More often than not, if we are honest with ourselves, we see that
we are stuck in a rut. Call it comfort zone, or habit, if you will, but it is still a rut. The

quiet moments, the niggly feeling is back, the resentment is back…z

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mind will throw up a hundred reasons as to why you should not bust the rut, but in the

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It is time, then, to do something about this. There are a few tried and tested methods
you could use as a reference mark, and tweak to suit your temperament and life.

➢ The first step is to want to bust out of the rut. You want to bring about certain

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changes in order to make your life meaningful. You, therefore, will have to take
responsibility for doing this, responsibility for yourself. Only then will you find

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the determination and commitment within yourself to change the status quo.

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➢ Visualize the changes you want made. When you realize which areas you need to
change, visualize the changes. This will help clear the road you want to take. You
then start to organize things that need to be done in order to get to your vision.

challenges pop up.

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As you go along, you will see that it is easy to refine and re-do changes as

➢ Don’t be afraid to create your own solutions. You are unique, and your needs are
unique.
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➢ If you feel hesitant about doing things yourself, synergize with someone you
trust. Otherwise, just go it alone. It’s your life and when you take responsibility to
make the best of it, you feel energized.
Chances and Choices
There are two givens in life: Chances and choices. Chances or opportunities come to
every person every day. We are, however, blest with the ability to make choices.
Question is how many of us recognize these opportunities, choose to take them, and
make the best use of them? We have to first of all believe that there are no accidents in
life. So, whatever comes our way is an opportunity. While we do not know whether
taking the opportunity that comes our way is going to be good for us, or harmful, we
have to make our choice in faith. If taking an opportunity that results in something good
happening to us either personally or professionally, it is a big booster. However, if
taking an opportunity results in something not so good happening, remember, we have
a choice. We can condemn ourselves, blame the world and other people, or put it down
to bad luck, or, we can examine it and extract the lesson it carries. We will be the better
people for having done so. There is no such thing as luck, good or bad. There is however

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the law of cause and effect. How you respond to an opportunity that pops up in front of
you affects which direction your life is going to take. Remember, there is no straight

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road, life is a winding road, and opportunities are the pointers. Approach every

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opportunity that presents itself as a potential lesson, and you will find that your life is
quite an adventure. All choices have two results – one, good, and one, not so good. You
know you have made the right choice, when you feel good about yourself, and you know

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you have made the wrong choice when everything goes wrong. Even then, there are
lessons to be learnt, instead of weeping and whining. Taking and overcoming challenges
makes you grow, and there is nothing more exciting than growing, and understanding

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life. If you decide to look at life, and all that it brings, with a positive attitude, you will be
more aware of and open to all the opportunities that life puts in your way. Of course, we

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come into this world with our own unique DNA, which in turn affects our individual
choices. However, the mind can be trained to have the right attitude. It is only the right

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attitude that can bring happiness, and peace.

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Change is Life
The only thing that is constant in our lives is, paradoxically, change. Look at nature. It is
changing every moment: light, shade, rain, sun, wind, stillness, bright, dark, colorful,
drab, bracing, or dampening. People change too, constantly. Those around us are not the
same from one instant to another. As thinking, feeling people, we feel the effects of the
various changes that happen to us and around us. Sometimes we can cope, and
sometimes we cannot; sometimes we crave to change some habit that is proving
harmful to us; or, we wish we were something or someone different. We fix days in the
year from when we promise we are going to change or effect certain changes. Usually,
these are New Year’s Day, or our birthday. But, change does not happen like that, and
importantly, change is not easy. The fact is that change is going to happen anyway. But,
if we are in control, then we can change our thinking to cope with and come out on top
of every situation. There are certain things that we need to do if we are to change or

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bring about change. The first thing is to ask ourselves is how important we are to
ourselves. Then, we have to force ourselves to take a good, hard, long look at what we

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are all about: where we are going wrong; which areas in ourselves need changing; what

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kind of person we are aiming to be. We need to affirm our values and what we stand for.
We need to find the direction we are headed, personally and professionally. If we can
honestly do this, then we will be determined to bring about change. Going one step

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further, we see we need to have a road map. For this, we have to chart our goals, short-
term and long-term; goals that would lead us to our objectives. Once on this well-
defined path, we need to be committed to what we are doing; keep reminding ourselves

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that we are doing this for us, because we are important. Slowly, but surely, as we
internalize the change, we see the results. Thinking positively and holding fasts to our

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goals and beliefs, no matter what tries to oppose us, or stop us, or even tries to change
our minds, eventually gets us to where/what we wanted to be. Change, then, no matter

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how scary, becomes an exciting journey.

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Enjoy Father Time
For some strange reason, we tend to believe that we have all the time in the world. Fact
is, we don’t. In actual fact, the only sure moment we have is the moment we are living in.
That statement can be quite frightening till we examine it. Then, it becomes an exciting
challenge. The only enemy time has is fear, because fear paralyzes time. There are
hundreds of irrational fears that beset all human beings. But, there is a way out - the
way of awareness. You need to be consciously aware of every moment, because every
moment carries within it the seeds of good and bad, right and wrong, consequently,
happiness and unhappiness. As human beings it is not possible to always do the right
thing, or think the right thoughts. However, life gives us the chance to correct ourselves.
This is when we need to grasp every moment, examine it, and use it, not to look
backward in regret or sorrow, but ahead with enthusiasm and vigor.

There is a way of ensuring that you are aware of every moment. When engaged in a task,

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no matter how small, or how large, how important or how seemingly unimportant, stop
and ask yourself if you realize what you are doing. Ask yourself (verbalize in your

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mind), if you know what you are doing. This will immediately focus your mind on the

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task in hand. You will begin to concentrate on what you are doing and all the associated
thoughts that are going through your mind. The fall-outs are many: if it is a habit you
want to kick, this is the time for it; if you see that your method of working could do with

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some improvement, this is the time to make the changes; if you see that your thoughts
are totally unproductive, this is the time to revamp your thinking, and your attitude; and

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so on. You really learn to respect every moment. You learn to respect and make the
most of the here and now. This is very rewarding, because you will soon realize that you

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are not looking back, and roosting on mistakes made and on what could have been done.
Neither are you looking forward, because you know that how you live in this one

enjoyment of time.

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moment is going to determine every moment that is to come. The result is an unalloyed

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Forwards and Upwards
Believe in yourself – completely and totally.

Love who you are – completely and totally.

Never look back – the past, good or bad, is over and done with.

These three statements sum up the philosophy of life. If you trust in these three
statements, you will be invincible. You will accept all of life’s challenges, uncertainties,
and trials with equanimity. You will not allow anything that blocks your path to either
side-track or confuse you. You put yourself in the driver’s seat and are in full control of
all that happens to you. This state of mind does not come easy. You have to work very
hard for it. But then, does anything that really matters come easy? It doesn’t. What
happens when you believe in yourself and look ahead and forward, is that you find

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hidden strengths you never even knew you had. All wise men say that the conditioning
we are born with has to be shunned. This, in effect, means that you have to keep your

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mind free to see each situation with new eyes. Instead of allowing roadblocks, read

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challenges, to get you down, and overpower you, you need to steam ahead. The first
thing you need to do is to accept the trial. Hiding from it, or sweeping it away never
helps. Painful as it may be you need to accept the challenge. Then, deal with it, ever
looking forward and upward. You will see that as you go along, your positive, never-say-

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die attitude causes solutions to present themselves. Your life is ahead of you, so no
matter what happened the day before, or the year before, you need to go ahead. That is

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why it is so important to learn from the lessons that life teaches us. They always stand
us in good stead. Remember that it is important to always keep your dreams and goals

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ahead of you. You need to visualize these, so that they are always vivid in your mind’s
eye. This will give you the strength to forge ahead. The past has a way of pinning us

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down. Good things that happened in the past make us complacent, and bad things
depress and paralyze us. Forget the past. Each day is a new day. It is like receiving a
beautifully wrapped present. Keep your focus, and be aware of every moment so that as

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you build/rectify/reconstruct every moment, you build your future.
Get Up and Get Going
We have all been in situations that we thought could not happen to us. We have been in
situations which we have thought spelt THE END for us. We have also been in situations
when it seemed as if the disasters would never end. As people, we have all felt, at some
time or the other, perplexed, defeated, occasionally shamed, and emotionally and
physically exhausted. Before we do anything else, we need to believe, and reassure
ourselves that we are not the only ones who have experienced all these emotions. We
also have to ensure that we are kind to ourselves and do not indulge in self-flagellation.
When we do this, we see that we have huge stores of strength hidden inside of us. What
we need to do is to take a very objective look at the seemingly insurmountable and
seemingly endless problems we are confronted with. Just focus on the problem, not the
size of it. The size of the problem will paralyze us. We need to break it up into parts, and
deal with each part separately, with inner strength, resolve and determination. We have

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to resist the temptation of moving from one part of the problem to another. Single-
mindedly we need to focus on the task in hand, find solutions for the part we are

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working on, see it through to the end, and only then move on to the next part of the

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problem. Soon, the whole problem just dissolves in front of our eyes as it were. If we do
not do this, then all the unresolved parts add up, and we will find ourselves completely
mired in the depths of despair. The fact is that we all come equipped to deal with the

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most insurmountable of problems. The reality, however, is that we do not tap into our
inner core, but try to find ways of keeping the problem temporarily at bay. This never
works out in the long run. Life reveals its treasures to us only when we overcome the

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difficulties and trials that are placed in our way. All valuable opportunities come
covered with difficulties and trials. We can avail of life’s wonderful gifts only if we

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plough our ways through these challenges. We do have it in us to get out of the most
difficult of situations. All we have to do is to approach it with confidence and strength.

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Resilient Toughness
Ever seen a yo-yo? When you throw it on the ground, it bounces back. The harder you
throw it on the ground, the higher it bounces. Adversities are life’s way of throwing us
on the ground. If we are resilient and tough, we bounce back, otherwise, we are
destroyed. What exactly do we mean by resilience and toughness? Resilience implies
flexibility, and toughness is a measure of how much stress and strain you can take.
While dealing with these two factors, let us look at the given. Life IS. There is no such
thing as good or bad. It is our attitude that makes it so. Thus, if we think that some
challenge that has been thrown in our path is terrible, and we allow it to affect the way
we react, then life is bad. However, if we accept the challenge and look for ways of
overcoming it, then life becomes an adventure. Think of a boxer. When he gets a painful
knock, he can either stay down, or give up. Instead of thinking about how he got
knocked, and what he must do to avoid that in the next bout, or how he can turn that

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particular move to his advantage, if he cowers in his corner brooding he will be a total
wreck. Instead of finding a way around the problem, if you only cast your mind about to

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find a way out, then that is what you will get – a way out, and not over and up. Giving in

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to a problem is self-defeating. Giving it your best shot regardless of the outcome boosts
your self-confidence and self-esteem. What’s more, it wins you the respect of people.
History is full of people who failed many times, but instead of giving in, and opting out,

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they got up, dusted themselves and moved on, stronger than before. The idea is never to
run away from problems, but to accept them with an open mind. When you do this, the
problem becomes a challenge and when we do this, we eliminate fear. This is important,

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because fear makes us lose our perspective. We also need to look at the challenge with
courage and patience, at all times being kind to ourselves. Thus, we learn to deal with it

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and overcome it. This is what eventually toughens us up. Life is a rewarding journey
only for the tough and resilient.

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Unfasten and LET GO
It’s just another day. You know all the moves. You’re just getting on with the business of
living. Only one word describes this kind of living: Tragic. Tragic because you have
allowed yourself to be trapped in a life which you have created unthinkingly and
uncaringly; tragic because you are not recognizing your right to live a happy and
fulfilled life; tragic because you are deliberately denying the beauty and greatness of
your potential; tragic because you are allowing the negatives take control of your life,
and finally, tragic, because you are not allowing yourself to LIVE. The trouble is that
from deep within you a voice is crying out that there has to be something more; that this
is not how you set out to live. Your ZQ (Zest Quotient) is at an all-time low. The good
thing is that this need not be the end. You CAN live life the way you envisaged long ago.
You can have a life of excitement and fun. The wonderful thing is that you can have this
kind of life NOW. You don’t have to wait for an elusive, distant time and date when

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things are going to get better. It is in your hands to make things better for yourself. This
is the beauty of wanting to overhaul yourself and your life. It is in your hands, and it is

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not elusive. It can be done if you but have the determination to make the changes, and

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feel a sense of commitment to yourself. The first step you need to take is to unfasten
your heart, mind and brain, and LET GO of your past, all your thinking, wrong or
otherwise, and all your preconceived notions. Clean out your head and heart

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completely. Clean out everything that is cluttering up your thinking processes. This is
difficult, but with grit and an eye on the goal up ahead, it can be done. All kinds of fears
poke their heads up. Don’t be afraid. Never give in to these. Be bold and allow new

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thoughts and new ideas to come in. Redefine yourself in accordance with your deepest
beliefs and values. Rediscover the child in you so that you approach each day and each

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opportunity with child-like enthusiasm and verve. As time goes by, you see your new
self emerging, and realize you are slowly becoming the person you were destined to be.

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Work-in-Progress
Tired of who you are? Tired of what is happening to you? No excitement coming your
way? It is time to drop everything, sit back, and take stock of yourself and your life. The
time is NOW – not tomorrow, not one hour, not even five minutes hence. Once you give
yourself the importance and respect that is due you, things start falling into place. You
realize that whether you are 16, 36, or 86, you are a work-in-progress, and there is
scope for change. This awareness will encourage you to take charge of yourself. Go to a
place of solitude where you can do an honest stock-taking of yourself and see where you
are headed. You will soon realize that while there are some areas where you are very
comfortable it is not giving you any feeling of fulfillment or peace. Some areas clearly
need shaking up. Both are scary. Getting out of your comfort zone is not going to be
easy, but shaking up is not easy either. However, when you weigh these against a rich,
rewarding, fulfilling life, then you know it is decision time! It is best to create goals,

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short-term and long-term. Then you have something definite to work towards. These
will need refining/changing as you go along. What you are doing, in effect, is thinking

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out the change, internalizing it and taking responsibility for it, ensuring that you do not

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allow anything to get in your way or stop you. As in all construction sites, workers need
to wear a hard hat. You will need to keep your hard hat of determination, commitment,
and cheerful positiveness on at all times. As the changes start to work, you will see that

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you feel better about yourself and your situation. You realize that you are in control of
your life. This impacts on your surroundings. As it also happens in construction sites, a
blockage forces the construction workers to work out an alternative. You see yourself

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doing the same thing. Nothing gets you down, no matter what. Wanting change connects
you to your inner core, and you will always find another way so that you come out on

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top of every situation. There are always two paths in front of us. Change, by its very
nature is tough, but it is life. Not to change is the easy way out, but it is death. Therefore,
choose life….

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Zest Quotient
Check out these questions in order to measure your Zest Quotient:

• Am I constantly hankering after ‘there’s more to life than this’?

• Am I looking for instant gratification of all my wants?

• Do I believe that ‘more is better’, and ‘bigger is better’?

• Am I afraid of a commitment at work, or at home, or to myself?

• Am I cynical about everything and everyone?

• Do I think only of my life, myself, my individuality?

• Am I afraid of communicating with anyone, lest they get too close for comfort, or
enter into my personal space?

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If you have answered ‘Yes’ to these, then your ZQ is in grave danger!

Nowhere is it written, and no wise man who walked this earth has said that life is going
to be one long happy time. In fact happiness is a state of mind. It is an attitude. It is your
attitude that determines how you approach everything and everyone. The right attitude

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finds something good in everyone and every situation. This reflects back to you as
happiness. There are no bad or sad things; there are merely learning situations. These

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are life’s way of putting you in tune with yourself, so that you can give of yourself to
others. This positive way of looking at things is zest. Gratitude is a powerful way of

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putting zest into your life. It is easy to be grateful for the good things that happen to us.
But, zest for life makes us grateful for the bad things that happen, simply because bad

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things put us back on the right track. All life is interdependent, so if you are zestful
about life, that is what you will spread around you, and that is what will come back to
you, since we are basically governed by the laws of cause and effect. A positive ZQ

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makes you consciously live in every moment. It is the quiet strength you use to battle
life’s downs and help others do the same. Zest for life builds up your self-confidence
which again is a winner. People with quiet self-confidence are reassuring to have
around, simply because they are in full control of any situation that arises. Your zest for
life will make you respect life; respect all human beings, and respect the environment.
You learn to relax, enjoy and rediscover every day with child-like enthusiasm.