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Shaquila Johnson

Dr. VanLaningham

LIB 135

13 May 2016

A Call for Forgiveness

Visions of a perfect life always flashed through my head as an adolescent . Every child

dreams of exactly how they want their lives to be. Fortunately the path to the life we dream is not

always the path we envision. A child dreams to be in the same household as both parents

witnessing their love for each other but more importantly their love for their children. In a time of

adolescence a child wants nothing more than to hear their parents say I love you and show it

through their actions. I did not have both parents in my household growing up. In fact, I did not

have neither parent in my household growing up. I was a ward of the court given to my

grandmother and my parents were told they needed to take parenting classes in addition to drug

abuse classes. Growing up I was a very angry child more so because all they had to do was take

some time away from their habits and attend classes and they never did. I am strong enough now

to say that I am glad they did not because I got the best gift God could possibly give me besides

life, my grandmother. My mom and dad was always around they just were not consistent factors

in my life. As, I got older my mom started to become regretful and ask for her children forgiveness,
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that was a long battle for me. I was hurt, upset and broken by the actions of my parents. I was

appalled at my sister saying I do not see what you are upset for you have not went through

anything . She considered her pain to be greater than mine because I could not recall some of the

things her and my brother went through before I even existed. Pain is tough to get through but

strength lies in forgiving those who have hurt you. Mark 11:25 says And whenever you stand

praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven

may forgive you your trespasses. Forgiving others is a necessity to be forgiven by God. We see

forgiveness addressed by Anne Lamott in Traveling Mercies and Kaya Oakes in Radical

Reinvention to demonstrate that life progression is hindered if we are not willing to excuse the sins

of others.

And it came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked

upon the roof of the king's house: and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and

the woman was very beautiful to look upon.

And David sent and enquired after the woman. And one said, Is not this Bathsheba,

the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?

And David sent messengers, and took her; and she came in unto him, and he lay

with her; for she was purified from her uncleanness: and she returned unto her house.

And the woman conceived, and sent and told David, and said, I am with child. (2

Sam, 11:2-5)
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David was the King of Israel, who sinned when he committed adultery and murder. He

understood that he had sinned and was afraid to confess fearing the consequences. And David

said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord. And Nathan said unto David, The Lord also hath

put away thy sin; thou shalt not die (2 Sam, 12:13). David had become physically weak before he

decided to confess being that he was so ashamed of his sins. The beauty in confession is that it

allows us to unload heavy burdens while simultaneously offering us a chance to forgive ourselves.

Oakes says Again and again I will take those issues, to confession, probably for the rest of life .

But productive choice is a different matter: if God didnt want us to use birth control, why did he

allow humans to invent it? What about rape victims? If condoms are so evil, why do they save

millions of lives? Perhaps the Church would disagree with my line of logic, but my consciousness

tells me that Christ would surely forgive me, and Im not convinced that he would see my choice

as a sin in the first place (51). We have to be optimistic in regards to confession if we expect to

be forgiven. God is forgiving, he just wants us to be transparent with him even though he knows

our life outcomes before we do.

In a study using literary writing and creative interventions for working toward

forgiveness after relationship dissolution and divorce, it is believed while laypersons and

counselors suggest that embarking on the path to forgiveness has potential to create emotional

healing, the commitment and energy needed to invest in the process can prove too cumbersome

and painful for many people to undergo (Simon & Simon, 1990). In many cases, forgiveness, then,

remains elusive as we maintain feelings of resentment, anger, and frustration over painful
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situations as a natural default. Forgiving others who have approached you with any ill intent is

hard and it takes courage to accomplish. As humans it is natural for us to fear the act of forgiveness.

Fear keeps us from forgiving others and that fear alone prevents us from moving forward with our

lives. I think our unwillingness to forgive others creates an unhealthy environment for us as

individuals.

Forgiveness is forgiving others even when we do not think we possess the strength to

excuse the wrongs of others. In Traveling Mercies Lamott says in her chapter titled Forgiveness,

They say we are not punished for the sin, but by the sin, and I began to feel punished for my

unwillingness to forgive (128). Lamott did not identify herself as a forgiving Christian however,

she became weary of carrying all of that hatred in her heart. Lamott soon realized that she had to

start her process of forgiveness.

I tried to will myself into forgiving various people who have harmed me directly or

indirectly over the years four former Republican presidents, three relatives, two old

boyfriends, and one teacher in a pear treeit was The Twelve Days of Christmas meets

taxi driver. But in the end I could only pretend that I had. I decided I was starting off my

sights aimed too high. As C.S. Lewis says in Mere Christianity, If we really want to learn

how to forgive, perhaps we had better start with something easier than the Gestepo. So I

decided to put everything Id ever lived with, slept with, or even been reviewed by on hold,

and to start with someone I barely knew whom I had only dated for a while.
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Forgiveness is not an easy thing to accomplish and it does not happen overnight. However, Lamott

was on a spiritual journey and she knew this was an important part of her spiritual growth. I do

not think that Lamott would be a writer today if she never had the courage to forgive. I say this

because when we carry burdens on our heart they become obstacles in our every day lives. I believe

that God wants us to have that great life he has written for us despite the obstacles but we must

willing to forgive others.

Forgiveness is important to vocation because when we do not forgive, we place ourselves

at a standstill in life. I feel that I am called to be a writer and musician, but I do not think I would

be able to fully understand the purpose of my vocation if I did not forgive or at least start the

process of forgiveness. I was once asked What does your vocation offer the world? I answered

by saying I believe that I am called to help people through writing and music whether its singing

a song or writing my life story. I do believe that talking about things is a step in forgiving so its

fair to say that I believe forgiveness is a process. I am saying that I would not be able to reveal

what I think my calling is if I didnt forgive because I cannot present myself to people if not

wholeheartedly. In a Ted Talk by Sammy Rangel he spoke on the Power of Forgiveness. Rangel

was abused and neglected. He was a child having a child. At eleven years of age he had to see his

first child lifeless on a medical table. Addiction, drugs, gangs, prison this was his truth. Rangel

said My turning point came with this next question, Sammy have you ever hurt anyone the way

your mother has hurt you? We often hurt people we love and care about because the thought of

forgiving someone that hurt us is hard. Rangel speaks of the power of forgiveness but its more
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than him forgiving people who have wronged him, its too confessing the power of God and his

unconditional love through forgiveness. Its forgiving yourself and understanding that we do not

choose our lives but its up to us to be faithful servants of God. We cannot move to the next step

in life until we forgive those who have wronged.

As human beings who are prone to sin we must understand that no one is perfect. The bible

says Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I

forgive him? till seven times? (Matt. 18:21) The bible says that we must be willing to forgive

others seventy times seven times a day. Indeed it is not impossible for someone to sin that many

times in a day. Therefore, this quote is saying we must be willing to forgive others no matter how

many times they ask for forgiveness.

Forgiveness helps shape who we become in life because it measures our strength. I will

never forget the times my older cousins would sit around at family gatherings talking about my

grandmothers grandchildren which included me. They would make statements such as those kids

are going to be her downfall because she is always worried about them. They are not going to

be anything. The children my grandmother raised have all went on to do something productive

with their lives. However, imagine if I had not forgiven my family members who spoke against

me and my siblings, I would have been holding a grudge, furthermore allowing their words to have

an impact on my life. I would not be able to walk into my calling with grudges on my heart because

my life story is story of overcoming and forgiving others to be happy. There is no secret that I was
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an angry but the reason I am not anymore is because I matured and forgave those who hurt me

emotionally and for that reason I was able to take the next step in my life. I am no longer bound

by the chains of grudges and burdens. In forgiving others I have furthered my purpose in life. In

forgiving others I have freed my heart from some pain. Now I understand that we all possess a

strength more powerful than we know because that is show in forgiveness. The ability to

acknowledge that we all have flaws, we all sin and we all can change is what it means to be

powerful. I cannot fathom who I would be if God had not forgiven me for all the wrong things I

have done. We are called to be obedient to Gods words and he tells us to forgive so that we may

be forgiven. Forgiveness begins with acknowledging, understanding and taking action.

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Works Cited

Lamott, Anne. Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith. New York: Pantheon Books,

1999. Print.

Oakes, Kaya. Radical Reinvention: An Unlikely Return to the Catholic Church. Berkley:

Publishers Group West, 2012. Print.

TEDx Talks. The power of forgiveness by Sammy Rangel. Online Video clip. YouTube.

YouTube, 23 Jan. 2015. Web. 1 May 2016.

Valadez, Albert A., and Marcheta Evans. "A Novel Approach: Using Literary Writing And

Creative Interventions For Working Toward Forgiveness After Relationship Dissolution And

Divorce." Journal Of Creativity In Mental Health 1.3/4 (2005): 103-121. Academic Search

Complete. Web. 1 May 2016.