Welcome

home
Step-by-step guide leads
prospective parents through
Missouris adoption process
from finding children to
bringing them home for the
rest of their lives. Contact
information and other
resources are provided.

WELCOME
HOME
Welcome Home can help smooth
adoption process for Missourians
Dear Missourians,
It is my pleasure to provide this new publication,
Welcome Home, to help educate Missourians who
are considering adoption.
Legally, adoption means a single person or
couple become the legal parents of a child.
Emotionally, adoption means the prospective
parents and child become a family.
In pursuing an adoption, prospective adoptive
parents must consider a variety of factors: Do they
want to adopt a child from this country or from
abroad? What type of adoption services provider do
they want to work with? What costs are they going
to face and are there resources to help?
Once the prospective parents have answered
those questions, they must get familiar with the
Forms to adopt can be found
on the Attorney Generals Web site at
ago.mo.gov/divisions/consumer/adoption/.
steps necessary to complete an adoption.
Because the decision to pursue an adoption is an
emotional one, it puts some prospective parents in a
vulnerable position when making these decisions. It
is my hope that Welcome Home will provide these
prospective parents with basic information that will
guide them to ask the necessary questions to make
good decisions.
I want to thank the members of the adoption
task force (listed on page 25) who helped provide
the expertise in putting this publication together.
I appreciate their commitment to families and
children and hope that this publication will
encourage more people to consider and pursue
adoptions in Missouri.
Sincerely,
Joshua D. Hawley
Attorney General of Missouri
WELCOME HOME 
 It can be so rewarding to adopt
foster children. There are so many
kids, some in your own back yard.
WELCOME
HOME

Inside
Types of adoptions The process
6 Domestic adoption International adoption
6 Private agency 19 Choosing a country
7 Independent and adoption
professional
8 Stepparent
8 Public agency,
foster care For birth parents
10 International adoption 23 Birth parents rights before and after
termination of rights
12 FAQs and myths 23 Open versus closed adoption
12 Know the state law 24 Rights of unmarried birth fathers
24 Adoption agreements
Getting started: Is it the right decision?
13 Typical adoption fees in 2007 25 Forms
13 Financial help available 25 Members of Task Force on Adoption
14 Open versus closed adoption
26 Terms
15 Hiring an adoption professional
26 Resources
15 Avoid adoption scams

The process
Domestic adoption
16 Confidentiality of records
16 Search and reunion
(closed adoptions)
18 Differences for
stepparent, foster
adoptions
18 Payment to birth
parents

The Office of the Missouri Attorney General is an equal opportunity employer.

WELCOME HOME 
 At least half of the estimated
30,000 annual domestic adoptions
WELCOME
are completed independently.
HOME

Types of adoptions
Prospective adoptive parents have several choices to make as they decide what type of
adoption to pursue. Each comes with its own variations on the legal process and with its
own costs, benefits and risks. You can adopt within the United States or in another country.
For domestic adoptions, there are four types: adoptions through a private agency, through a
lawyer or counselor, stepparent adoptions, and through a public agency or foster care.

DOMESTIC ADOPTION

PRIVATE AGENCY
A private agency adoption is
overseen by a privately funded,
state-licensed adoption agency.
Adoptive parents apply directly to
the agency.
Birth parents relinquish their
parental rights and transfer
child custody to the adoption
agency, and work with agency
professionals placing the child in
a loving, nurturing home.
Birth parents typically choose
the adoptive parents, and may
meet them before placement.
Today, the adoption process is
at least somewhat open, where
there is at least some contact
between the birth parents, and
adoptive parents and the child.
Adoption agencies typically
handle adoption of younger
children and infants.
It can take many months
or even years to complete an
adoption, depending on desires
of the prospective parents, age of
the child preferred and degree of
openness throughout the process.
Andrew, now 5, was adopted
through Catholic Charities in
Kansas City. His new parents took
him home when he was 13 days
old. He was a beautiful little boy,
says father Kevin.
PRIVATE AGENCY
AT A GLANCE
Typical cost: $4,000-$30,000.
Costs to adopt special needs
children may be lower, and
many agencies have a sliding
fee scale based on income.
The cost may include a home
study, living expenses for the
birth parents, counseling for
birth and adoptive parents,
medical expenses, legal fees
and possibly foster care. Tax
credits are available to defer
some costs, based on income.
Benefits: The agency helps the
prospective adoptive parents
through the process and
matches a child with the
adoptive parents. Adoption
agencies typically have set,
predictable fees.
Risks: Before the adoption, the
birth parents may change their
minds. Besides the agency
setting the minimum criteria for
adoptive parents to qualify,
birth parents often choose
from those adoptive parents,
which can significantly slow the
process.

 ago.mo.gov
 FOR ADOPTIVE
6 Domestic adoption 10 International 16 The process 23 Birth parents rights
Private agency adoption Domestic Before, after termination

FOR BIRTH
PARENTS

PARENTS
Independent 12 FAQs/Myths International of parental rights
Stepparent 13 Getting started 25 Forms Rights of unmarried dads
Public agency 26 Terms, Resources Grieving process

DOMESTIC ADOPTION

INDEPENDENT
In an independent or private adoption,
prospective adoptive parents use an adoption
attorney or counselor and seek birth parents
by networking with friends and family,
advertising in newspapers, mailing resumes
to obstetricians, and even setting up Web
pages.
The birth and adoptive parents arrange for
the adoption, and the adoptive parents often
financially assist the birth parent until the
child is adopted.
An agency still would provide the home
study to ensure the prospective adoptive Andrews birth mother chose his new parents. The open
parents are suitable and would provide post- adoption happened quickly it took about nine months.
placement supervision.
After having problems
conceiving, mid-Missouri
couple Karen and Kevin
INDEPENDENT ADOPTION decided to adopt Andrew
AT A GLANCE through an independent
adoption. Adoption
Typical cost: $5,000-$40,000. expenses totaled more
Expenses include legal fees for the than $5,000. At the
adoptive and birth parents, cost of time, they had been
finding a birth parent, medical considering adopting
expenses, counseling, and other a child in foster care.
expenses to support the birth mother. Biological son Ryan, left,
Benefits: Adoptive parents have more was born 18 months
after Andrews adoption.
control. They control the search for the
birth mother, how open the process is,
and they do not have to meet specified
criteria. Waiting time for independent
adoptions can be relatively short We decided we would take whatever
depending on how quickly the adoptive
parents can find a suitable birth parent. kid was available that needed a
Risks: Finding a birth parent is not a home, Kevin says when he and wife
guarantee, and could take years. The Karen decided to adopt. We just felt
cost is highly unpredictable, and
supporting the birth mother through a lot of kids needed a chance.
pregnancy may be costly and
emotionally complicated. The birth
parents can change their minds before
relinquishing their parental rights.

DOMESTIC ADOPTION 

WELCOME
HOME
DOMESTIC ADOPTION
STEPPARENT ADOPTION
Stepparent adoption typically
occurs when one biological parent
has remarried to a spouse who
would like to become a legal
parent.
STEPPARENT ADOPTION
AT A GLANCE
Typical cost: $1,500-
$2,500, depending on the
relationship with the non-
custodial parent and other
factors. Costs can include a
home study, filing fees and
attorney fees.
Benefits: A stepparent
adopting the spouses child
has parental rights, which
are important in making
choices about the childs
education, health and safety,
particularly when the birth
parent dies before the
spouse.
Risks: Generally the risks
are minimal. A strained
relationship between the
non-custodial birth parent
and custodial birth parent
or that parents new spouse
can complicate the
process.
Meet the foster kids: Go online to see what
children in Missouri are available for adoption:
 ago.mo.gov
Children in foster care make up a little
less than half of the adoptions in Missouri
each year. The rest are private adoptions.
Kurt and Kara were foster parents
to Kyah for two years before
parental rights were terminated
and they were able to adopt.
PUBLIC AGENCY,
FOSTER CARE
A public agency adoption is
overseen by a government agency
and involves a child in foster care.
About 130,000 children in
U.S. foster care are waiting for a
permanent home. About 2,000 of
them are in Missouri.
This type of adoption may
appeal to parents willing to take a
school-age child.
In Missouri, the Department
of Social Services Childrens
Division manages adoption of
foster children, who may have
been abused or neglected.
Adoptive parents can apply
directly to adopt a foster child,
or may first become foster
parents and then adopt after the
birth parents rights have been
terminated.
www.adoptuskids.org/states/mo/
PUBLIC AGENCY,
FOSTER CARE ADOPTION
AT A GLANCE
Typical cost: $0-$3,500.
The state usually pays the
cost of the home study and
other services. It is
recommended that adoptive
parents hire a lawyer. Some
initial expenses may be
covered by federal and state
reimbursement.
Benefits: It usually is much
less costly. State payment
or reimbursement can cover
much of the initial expenses,
and many children are
eligible for ongoing state
subsidies to cover expenses
such as medical, tutoring or
day care. A unique benefit is
the satisfaction of providing
a caring, loving home to an
older child who may not have
previously experienced one.
Risks: Foster children are
often older, and may present
significant mental, emotional
or physical challenges.
 FOR ADOPTIVE
6 Domestic adoption 10 International 16 The process 23 Birth parents rights
Private agency adoption Domestic Before, after termination

FOR BIRTH
PARENTS

PARENTS
Independent 12 FAQs/Myths International of parental rights
Stepparent 13 Getting started 25 Forms Rights of unmarried dads
Public agency 26 Terms, Resources Grieving process

Kurt shares a quiet moment with Kyah. He says she has given his wife and him more than they could ever give her.

She had this dead-end

life. But we gave her a
fighting chance ... to
go to college, get a job
and get out of the
welfare cycle. It has
been so rewarding to
adopt a foster child.
Shes the happiest
little girl youve every
Adoptive mother Kara
seen, says Kyahs
mother, in right photo.

DOMESTIC ADOPTION 
 Adoption expands your
life in ways that you cannot
predict or imagine.
WELCOME
HOME

INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION

Missouri parents may decide to adopt

a child from another country through
an agency or attorney. While dozens
of countries participate in international
adoptions, most U.S. parents adopt
from China, Korea, Latin America and
countries of the former Soviet Union.
By one count, more than 20,000
children from abroad were adopted in the
United States in 2005.
The country where the child is born
may use a governmental organization,
private orphanage or other social
institution as the adoption agency. Each
country has its own regulations.
Most countries require that the
adoptive parents travel to obtain a visa to
take the child back to the United States.

Aaron, right, celebrates his third birthday with brother Ryan. James
and Frances adopted the Guatemalan boys two months apart when
INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION they were younger than 1. Since my dad was from South America,
AT A GLANCE it made more sense to adopt from Latin America, James says.
Typical cost: $7,000-$35,000, They first pursued a domestic adoption but after delays working with
depending on the adoption agency birth mothers, they decided to adopt internationally.
fees and travel. Some countries may
impose other requirements at an Aaron, left, and Ryan
added cost. attend a pumpkin
Benefits: International adoptive festival. Sometimes
parents usually are not chosen by when people find
the birth parents, which removes out they are not
some uncertainty from the process. related by birth they
say theyre not
The fees and waiting period are
brothers. Of course
somewhat predictable.
theyre brothers.
Risks: The political climate in some They are the only
countries can be unpredictable, siblings they know,
which can delay or derail the says dad James.
process. The childs medical Both are really good
information may be erroneous or buddies.
incomplete, and the stress of moving
to a new country can be traumatic
for older children and may cause
attachment issues.

10 ago.mo.gov
FOR ADOPTIVE
6 Domestic adoption 10 International 16 The process 23 Birth parents rights
Private agency adoption Domestic Before, after termination

FOR BIRTH
PARENTS

PARENTS
Independent 12 FAQs/Myths International of parental rights
Stepparent 13 Getting started 25 Forms Rights of unmarried dads
Public agency 26 Terms, Resources Grieving process

James and Frances planned to adopt one child, Ryan. But after his
adoption fell through, they were introduced to another child, Aaron.
During conversations to adopt Aaron, they found out that Ryan had
become available. They quickly decided to bring him to mid-Missouri
too. Aaron was adopted in February and Ryan in April. Were really
glad we have two kids, James says.

Each year we celebrate Gotcha Day

on the day we got each of our sons. Its
low-key more of our familys
reflection on where we have come from
and how much we have accomplished.
Adoptive father James

INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION 11

WELCOME
HOME
FAQs and myths
What makes a child adoptable
in Missouri?
A child is eligible for adoption
when the birth parents agree to
it, when a court has terminated
their parental rights because of
abandonment, neglect or abuse, or
if both parents have died.
What are the biggest needs
facing adoptable children?
Missouri needs African-
American parents willing to adopt
older foster children.
Will my race, age, religion,
sexual preference, marital
status or disability affect my
qualifications to adopt?
Courts, adoption agencies and
biological parents consider the
best interests of the child based on
these and other factors.
If I adopt, can the birth parents
change their mind and take
back the child?
Once a court has accepted the
consent to adoption, birth parents
generally cannot revoke it.
Is adoption just for the rich?
No. An adoption can cost from
nothing to $40,000, depending
on the type of adoption. State and
federal credits and private help
may dramatically reduce the cost.
How long does it take?
Being matched with a child can
take days to years. It often depends
on how specific the adopting
parents are about a child. Once
12 ago.mo.gov
Family Services staff is very
devoted to the foster kids.
Ashe, whose full name Ashenafi
means winner, experiences his
first snow in 2002.
Know the law
Find the law on adoption in
Chapter 453 of the Revised
Statutes of Missouri.
parents take custody, Missouri law
requires them to wait six months
before finalizing the adoption.
Do I need a lawyer?
Adoption is a legal process,
so most think a knowledgeable
lawyer is critical. Some choose
to work with a lawyer from the
beginning, while others only use
a lawyer to file the court papers to
finalize the adoption. See page 15
for lawyer referrals.
Do birth parents need their own
lawyer?
Birth parents have the right
to be represented by a lawyer,
although many choose not to be.
I think the Department of
What are birth parents rights
during the adoption process?
Before termination of parental
rights (TPR), the birth parents are
the legal parents and generally are
in full control of what happens
to their child. They also have
influence over who adopts the
child.
What is a guardian ad litem?
This person is appointed by
the court to represent the child
and act in the best interest of the
child during the adoption process.
The guardian ad litem cannot also
represent the birth or adoptive
family.
Can I learn how to adopt on the
Internet?
The Internet provides an
overwhelming amount of
information, correct and incorrect.
An Internet search of the word
adoption yielded 170 million
entries. The phrase Missouri
adoption drew 11 million results.
Can I talk to parents who have
been through the process?
Consult the experts you are
working with government
offices, adoption agencies and
adoption lawyers. They may be
able to put you in touch with
experienced people.
Also, ask about a support group
or network of people who have
been through this process. See
resources, page 26.
 FOR ADOPTIVE
6 Domestic adoption
Private agency
PARENTS
Independent
Stepparent
Public agency
Getting started
Prospective adoptive parents face many questions and choices when they first begin considering
adopting a child. The following information is intended to help parents make these decisions.
Is it right for me?
Parents considering adoption
should ask many of the same
questions as any other prospective
parent:
Am I ready to raise a child?
Do my spouse and I agree
on our readiness to be parents,
parenting philosophy, division of
labor, day care versus staying at
home, and other basic questions?
Do our relatives support this,
and can we count on their
help?
How will it impact our other
children?
Are we financially prepared?
Can I afford to adopt?
An adoption can cost nothing to
$40,000.
Adopting a child in the foster
care system is typically the least
expensive. Adopting an infant
can be the most expensive, since
it often involves the costs of
medical care before, during and
immediately after the childs birth.
International adoptions also can
be expensive because of agency
fees and travel costs. The adoption
agency or attorney you choose also
will determine expense.
10 International 16 The process 23 Birth parents rights
adoption Domestic Before, after termination
FOR BIRTH
PARENTS
12 FAQs/Myths International of parental rights
13 Getting started 25 Forms Rights of unmarried dads
26 Terms, Resources Grieving process
Typical adoption fees in 2007
Home study $1,200-$2,000
Birth parent social assessment $1,000 (paid by adoptive parents)
Birth parent legal fee $1,000
Filing fee $150-$600
Guardian ad litem fee $75-$350
Adoptive parent legal fee $1,500-$4,000
Other court fees $200
Adoption agency fees $0-$25,000
Other expenses may include travel, lodging and meals.
Financial help available
Government subsidies for foster children
adopted in Missouri or a state-licensed
agency: Adoptive parents can qualify for
state aid to help pay for a childs basic
needs such as food, clothing and shelter.
Employer benefits: Your employer may offer financial assistance or
paid leave. Adoption also is covered under the federal Family and
Medical Leave Act, which allows workers to take time off for family
matters without jeopardizing their job.
See www.adoptionfriendlyworkplace.org or call 877-777-4222.
Income tax credit: Some adoption costs can be claimed as a credit
on your federal income tax return. Federal law in 2006 allowed a tax
credit of up to $10,960. If your adoption expenses are $15,000,
your $10,960 tax credit can be obtained in one year or over several
years. See www.irs.gov or call 800-829-1040.
U.S. military reimbursement: An adoptive parent on active duty can
qualify for up to $2,000 in reimbursement for expenses from
adoption through a nonprofit agency. Contact the National Military
Family Association, www.nmfa.org or 800-260-0218.
Loans and grants may be available from these and other sources:
National Adoption
Foundation www.nafadopt.org 203-791-3811
Gift of Adoption Fund www.giftofadoption.org 877-905-2367
Shaohannahs Hope www.showhope.org 800-784-5361
GETTING STARTED 13
 When adopting older children, recognize that
they have their own personalities, formed in part
by life events that you have never experienced.
WELCOME
HOME

Getting started

Open versus closed adoption

In an open adoption,
the birth parents have Warning
some post-adoption Courts cannot mandate
contact with the or prohibit any post-
adoptive parents and adoption contact
child. between birth parents
In a closed adoption, and adoptive parents.
the birth parents have Most experts advise
little or no contact, and that adoption
the parties are generally agreements are
unknown to each other. nothing more than a
But it does not have moral agreement. If
to be all or nothing: the adoptive parents
Adoptive and birth change their minds
parents can agree to any about visitation or
variation of contact, other terms, it is
whether through in- difficult for birth
person visits or letters parents to challenge
and pictures. their decision in court.
On the other hand, both
Cultural issues parties may elect to
Do you want to adopt have more visitation
a child of a particular than originally planned
gender, race, religion, in the agreement.
nationality or other
background?
Rahel, 17, has extended family in Ethiopia with
whom she keeps in contact as well as two cousins in
Health issues Vermont. She and her brother were adopted in 2001.
Some children have special needs. Missouri law
requires prospective parents to be given certain
background information about a child. A parentless child becomes
Personal preparation
everybodys child in Ethiopia. Its a
Adoptive parents face several requirements, some very full culture, with deep roots. We
of them set by law, and others set by the private still are in contact with my childrens
adoption agency, law firm or birth parents. For
example, a birth mother may only allow her child to cousins, which is very unusual in an
be adopted by a married couple, or by a couple under international adoption.
age 35.
Joan Gummels, adoptive mother of two

14 ago.mo.gov
 FOR ADOPTIVE
6 Domestic adoption 10 International 16 The process 23 Birth parents rights
Private agency adoption Domestic Before, after termination

FOR BIRTH
PARENTS

PARENTS
Independent 12 FAQs/Myths International of parental rights
Stepparent 13 Getting started 25 Forms Rights of unmarried dads
Public agency 26 Terms, Resources Grieving process

Hiring an adoption professional

Adoption agency
Adoption agencies in
Missouri must be licensed
by the Department of Social
Services. Prospective parents
can get a list of licensed
agencies by calling the
Childrens Division, Residential
Program Unit, at 573-751-4954.
You can check if an agency
is nationally accredited with
the Council on Accreditation at
www.coanet.org or by calling
toll-free 866-262-8088.
Reputation and references:
The best way to select an
adoption agency is to work
with one that is known to you
or recommended by someone
you trust. But still do your own
research.
Also, check with the state
or Better Business Bureau for
complaints against an agency:
l Department of Social
Services, Childrens Division:
573-751-4954.
l Better Business Bureau:
www.bbb.org or call 703-276-
0100.
Available services: Different
agencies provide different
services such as prospective
parent orientation, help with
home study preparation, a
how-to guide, willingness to
help adopt in other states and
countries, and ability to get
financial help.
Process: Ask how the agency
identifies children for adoption
and how long the process takes.
Requirements: Ask what
criteria the agency uses in
choosing adoptive parents.
Courts, adoption agencies and
biological parents may consider
your race, age, religion, sexual
preference, marital status,
disability and number of people
in your household.
Avoid adoption scams
Consumer fraud can cause
financial havoc. But an adoption
scam, with the added emotions
involved, can be devastating.
Avoid being a victim:
Watch for offers that sound too
good to be true they probably
are. Adoptions can be costly, time-
consuming and require intense
background checks and paperwork.
Be suspicious of any company that
promises a shortcut.
Do not make large payments
up front. A reputable agency or
attorney will ask for partial fees in
advance, then accept full payment
when the process is complete.
Dont make payments directly
to birth parents, but through your
adoption agency or attorney.
If dealing directly with birth
parents, beware of inconsistent
stories, increasing requests for
money, broken appointments, or
incomplete information such as the
birth mothers address, or names of
her medical providers or the childs
birth father.

Adoption attorney
Choose a lawyer you know or who has been recommended by someone you trust.
If you need help finding a lawyer, contact these associations:
Missouri Bar Lawyer Referral Service www.mobar.org 573-636-3635
Bar Association of Metropolitan St. Louis www.bamsl.org 314-621-6681
Kansas City Metropolitan Bar Association www.kcmba.org 816-221-9472
Springfield Metropolitan Bar Association www.smba.cc 417-831-2783
American Academy of Adoption Attorneys www.adoptionattorneys.org 202-832-2222
Different courts in Missouri may have different local adoption rules.
Your attorney should be familiar with the rules in your county.

GETTING STARTED 15
 Every adoption
story is unique.
WELCOME
HOME

The process: Domestic adoption

While each adoption has its own unique legal details, most follow a similar process. There are
some exceptions for stepparent and foster care adoptions.

Finding a child
Prospective parents may Confidentiality of records
identify a child through an In Missouri, files and records that
adoption agency or lawyer, foster provide identifying information about the
care system, friends, physician, biological parents or siblings are closed,
advertisements, church and the except by order of the court. No one can
Internet. access them.
Adoption agencies and
biological parents may have their Search & reunion (closed adoptions)
own criteria for the prospective Birth parents and children involved in
parents such as age or religious closed, anonymous adoptions may decide
affiliation. later that they would like to meet. This
decision must be mutual. The Missouri
Home study Department of Social Services maintains
Before a child can be placed an adoption registry. Birth parents may Andrews adoptive
with prospective parents, state register their name at any time. parents still send
law requires them to undergo a Once adopted children turn 18, they photos and letters to
formal assessment known as a also may choose to register. This list is his birth mother and
home study. This evaluation looks not public information, but the department sister.
at their family, home, health, monitors the registry for matches.
history and other factors to make Once the department believes there
sure adoption is appropriate. The is a match, it is required by law to begin
process may take six to eight contacting the parties to get consent to
weeks. release identities.
You can get the Adoption Information
Background assessment of Registry form by contacting the
birth parents, child Department of Social Services at 800-554-
State law requires the birth 2222 or ago.mo.gov/adoption/.
parents and child to undergo
assessments, which will be
provided to the prospective
identifying information about the advise you.
parents.
birth parents. If the child is a member or
The assessment includes
Sometimes a child born in one eligible to be a member in a Native
physical descriptions and medical
state will be placed with parents in American tribe or Alaskan Native
and social backgrounds. It may
another. Most states have enacted village, then the Indian Welfare
include the hobbies and talents of
the Interstate Compact on the Act may apply to your adoption. If
family members and even whether
Placement of Children, which you think the child may fall under
they are right- or left-handed.
makes it easier to comply with the this law, consult your adoption
If confidentiality is requested,
other states laws. Your adoption professional.
the report will not include
professional should be able to

16 ago.mo.gov
 FOR ADOPTIVE
6 Domestic adoption 10 International 16 The process 23 Birth parents rights
Private agency adoption Domestic Before, after termination

FOR BIRTH
PARENTS

PARENTS
Independent 12 FAQs/Myths International of parental rights
Stepparent 13 Getting started 25 Forms Rights of unmarried dads
Public agency 26 Terms, Resources Grieving process

Relinquishment of birth
parents parental rights
Birth parents may relinquish
parental rights through either
termination of parental rights or
consent to adoption. Finalization
of the adoption may then proceed.
For more information, see page 23.

Receiving the child

Once you are approved for
adoption, the child is placed with
you in temporary custody for six
months before the adoption can be
finalized. The agency performing
the home study provides ongoing
supervision during this time.
Some counties appoint a court-
appointed special advocate to look
out for the best interests of foster
Kyah has brought joy to their lives, say adoptive parents Kurt and Kara.
children awaiting adoption.
Also, the court assigns a
guardian ad litem to look after the While foster children may have attention
best interests of the child. This deficit disorders or other problems, it
legal representative is usually doesnt mean theyre damaged forever.
a local family-law attorney not
representing any of the parties. They have an opportunity to thrive.
Generally, the guardian ad litem
Kara, adoptive mom of a foster child
supports the adoption, unless he
thinks it is not in the childs best
interest. The guardian ad litem may
appear in court for a hearing to will be listed on the new certificate.
want to interview other members
finalize the adoption. When the If the child does not have a
of your household or extended
judge grants the adoption, you Social Security card, the adoptive
family who will be actively
have the same parental rights as if parents may need to contact the
involved in the childs life.
the child was your biological child. Social Security Administration to
During the six months, you have
obtain a card. If your child already
certain rights. You are covered by Post-adoption has a Social Security number,
the federal Family and Medical A new birth certificate typically is your adoption professional may
Leave Act, which requires most issued after an adoption is finalized. recommend getting a new one.
employers to allow unpaid time off The court will send papers to the If you still have questions
for family issues. Also, state and state Bureau of Vital Statistics, or difficulties adjusting, your
federal law requires your health which will seal the childs original adoption professional should
insurance company to cover the birth certificate and prepare a new always be willing to address them
child as if born to you. one listing only the adoptive parents. or direct you to those who can
The original birth certificate is help. Adoption professionals view
Finalizing the adoption now unavailable as a public record. adoption as a lifelong process.
After six months, you will If you change your childs name, it

THE PROCESS: DOMESTIC ADOPTION 17

 I had to create a family
out of thin air.
WELCOME
HOME

The process:
Domestic adoption

Differences in adoption process Payment

FOSTER ADOPTION STEPPARENT to birth parents
Foster children are of adoption. ADOPTION Prospective parents
typically in the custody Foster parents have Stepparent adoptions may arrange to pay
of the state Childrens volunteered to allow are usually uncontested, some expenses for
Division because of foster children to live meaning the non- the birth parents,
problems with their birth temporarily in their custodial parent is especially with infant
parents. home. Some of them willing to voluntarily adoptions. Missouris
Some foster children may decide to adopt the relinquish parental child trafficking
may return to their child in their care. rights or does not law outlines what
biological family When foster parents oppose the adoption. payments are legal.
when the problems file the petition to adopt, The home study They include
are corrected. Others they usually are given requirement can medical expenses
will not because their priority over others. be waived if both for the childs birth,
parents rights have Foster parents who biological parents counseling for
been terminated. These have had a child in their agree. birth parents and
children are available for care for at least nine Once adoption is child before the
adoption. months do not have to complete, the custodial child is placed, and
The state pays for undergo the six-month birth parent no longer reasonable living
assessments and most waiting period before will get child support expenses such
other costs, making this finalizing the adoption. payments. as food, shelter,
the least expensive type transportation,
utilities and clothing.

Andrew plays
with younger
brother Ryan
at Halloween.

18 ago.mo.gov
 FOR ADOPTIVE
6 Domestic adoption 10 International 16 The process 23 Birth parents rights
Private agency adoption Domestic Before, after termination

FOR BIRTH
PARENTS

PARENTS
Independent 12 FAQs/Myths International of parental rights
Stepparent 13 Getting started 25 Forms Rights of unmarried dads
Public agency 26 Terms, Resources Grieving process

The process: International adoption

While adopting a child from another country is still a legal process, it is quite different from
a domestic adoption. You will be following that countrys laws. Many of Missouris laws on
adoption will not apply.
Choosing a country and adoption professional
You will need to decide what country to adopt from and what lawyer or
adoption agency to hire. It may be helpful to meet with several agencies
or attorneys to get more information about them and the countries where
they have adoption experience. Some agencies work with many countries,
while others specialize.
When selecting a country, ask: When selecting an
What countries have established adoption adoption professional,
programs? ask:
How long have you been
How are children in that country adopted?
providing adoption
Where do children live while awaiting services in the country I
adoption foster care, orphanage or am considering?
elsewhere?
Do you have staff that
What kind of care do children receive and speaks the native
what information social and medical language? Rahel and Ashe started school one
will I receive, and how reliable is it? week after arriving in Missouri.
Do you have relationships They only knew about 100 words
What is the typical age of the children? with officials or adoption of English. To help them learn,
What is the average wait time for professionals in that their adoptive mother would place
adoptions? country? Can I contact notes on objects with the name
them directly? (see note on fireplace).
What are the risks involved in pursuing an
adoption? What are your costs?
When are payments due
Can I talk to other parents who have and what do they cover? The Hague Convention
adopted from that country? The Hague Convention on
If the adoption fails, can
How will my family and ethnic you help initiate another? Civil Aspects of International
background blend with the childs culture Will my costs start over? Child Abduction is an
and country? international agreement to
See page 15 for more tips protect children from being
Do adoptive parents have to go to the on selecting an adoption
country, or can the child be escorted to the abducted from their birth
professional. country.
U.S.? If so, what length of stay is
required? Is more than one trip required? To learn about recent
changes in the international
What is the average cost of adopting? adoption process, including
What determines the cost? country specific developments,
What is the political climate in the country go to www.uscis.gov and go to
and what are the attitudes toward adoption the Press Room link.
by U.S. citizens?

THE PROCESS: INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION 19


WELCOME
HOME
The process:
International adoption
The legal process
One of the first steps is to
complete federal form I-600A
and submit it to the Office of
U.S. Citizenship and Immigration
Services. Get the form at ago.
mo.gov/adoption/. It lets the
federal government know you
intend to begin the adoption
process in another country.
The USCIS will set an
appointment for you to be
fingerprinted at its Kansas City or
St. Louis office.
Home study
The prospective parents must
complete a home study. There also
may be country-specific issues that
must be included.
The USCIS requires that the
home study be no more than
6 months old when submitted.
Adoptive parents must provide
updates if significant events occur
such as change in marital status,
finances, residence, or arrests or
convictions.
Choosing a child and help you with a checklist that may
clearing the way to travel
Working with your adoption
professional, you will decide on a
child. Once the legal processing is
completed in the foreign court, the
parents will file Form I-600 with
the USCIS. The form is available
at ago.mo.gov/adoption/.
The USCIS reviews the
application to ensure that the child
meets the orphan definition and
qualifies for adoption under U.S.
immigration law.
20 ago.mo.gov
Traveling to childs country
Once the USCIS and the foreign
court approve the adoption, you
are cleared to travel to pick up
your new family member.
While most adoptive parents
choose to complete the process
in person, some countries allow a
third party often a staff member
of the adoption agency to pick
up the child.
Before you travel, learn more
about the country. You will be
more comfortable and better able
to integrate that culture into your
parenting if that is your goal.
Your adoption professional can
include passports, immunizations,
clothing, blankets, diapers, bottles,
travelers checks, foreign currency,
stroller and car seat.
In the foreign country
You may have to appear in
court. You may even have to live in
that country for a few days to a few
weeks while awaiting completion
of the adoption documents.
When the adoption is complete,
There is no six-month
waiting period with an
international adoption.
Before going
to an
orphanage,
Ashe and
Rahel grew
up in a
neighbor-
hood similar
to this one
in their
hometown
in Ethiopia.
the parents apply for an immigrant
visa, which allows the child to
accompany you home. This is done
at a U.S. consulate or embassy in
the foreign country.
You will meet with a consular
officer, who will visually inspect
the child and ensure all paperwork
is in place. This is called a visa
interview. A physician approved by
the U.S. government will examine
the child to make sure there are no
contagious diseases that make the
child ineligible for a visa.
For more information about the
visa, contact the U.S. Department
of State, Office of Childrens
Issues, at 888-407-4747 or www.
travel.state.gov.
Your adoption is now complete,
and when you return to the United
States, you are the legal parents.
NOTE: In some cases, readoption
in state court is necessary to
establish U.S. citizenship. Your
adoption professional can advise
you.
FOR ADOPTIVE
6 Domestic adoption 10 International 16 The process 23 Birth parents rights
Private agency adoption Domestic Before, after termination

FOR BIRTH
PARENTS

PARENTS
Independent 12 FAQs/Myths International of parental rights
Stepparent 13 Getting started 25 Forms Rights of unmarried dads
Public agency 26 Terms, Resources Grieving process

My children say Ethiopia is not like the images you usually see, says St. Louis adoptive
mother Joan Gummels. It is not all desert. This 2001 photo was taken the week she met and
picked up her two children when they were 12 and 13. Behind them is their home of Addis
Ababa, the capital of Ethiopia.

I always planned to adopt

one older child. After
unsuccessfully pursing an
adoption for a year, I got a
mass e-mail and photo on
my birthday. It was about
two Ethiopian siblings and
how their adoption had fallen
through. I couldnt get them
out of my head. I thought,
Siblings Rahel, 17, left photo, and Ashe, 18, with their adoptive
mom Joan. After their birth mother died, they lived with their Those are my kids.
grandmother in Ethiopia. Unable to financially take care of
Joan Gummels, single mother
them, their grandmother gave up custody and they lived in
orphanages for more than two years before Gummels adopted.

THE PROCESS: INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION 21

 Readoption in state court sometimes is
necessary to establish U.S. citizenship.
Check with your adoption professional.
WELCOME
HOME

The process:
International adoption

Post-adoption process

Name change, other issues

Depending on the type of visa
your child was issued and on
your childs home country, you
may need to pursue a judicial
recognition proceeding to formalize
the adoption in the United States.
Your adoption professional can
guide you through this process.
The paperwork will ask for
basic information about the child,
including name. Parents can
change the childs name now.

Follow-up home study

Agencies and the childs birth
country require that the adoptive Group hug: Aaron and Ryan hug adoptive parents James and Frances.
parents obtain a home study after
they arrive home. This evaluates
the childs adjustment and When they both go to sleep at night, Frances
development. Many agencies and gives the kids a kiss on the head. I walk in and
countries also expect the adoptive
parents to provide photographs and
just look at them. It amazes me still.
updates on the childs progress at James, on he and his wifes feelings
least once a year. after three years of being parents

Adoption questions,
cultural issues
Parents will get questions about
where the child is from and why
they did not adopt domestically.
Your adoption professional or a
parents support group can help you
tactfully answer these questions.
While some questions may be
offensive, this is an opportunity
for your children and others to
understand that your parent-child
relationship is unique and special.
Children are inquisitive and will
ask questions about their origins.
Some things your child may enjoy:
l Seeing pictures and souvenirs
from your adoption trip.
l Seeing documents and
correspondence about the long
journey it took to adopt.
l Joining an adoptive families
group. This is a great way to
share experiences with other
parents while exposing your
child to other adopted kids.
l Learning his or her culture
through pictures, books, music,
art and stories.
l Visiting the home country.
There are many resources to
help adoptive parents grapple
with these post-adoption issues.
Your adoption professional, local
library, bookstore and the Internet
will have resources available to
help you talk with your child about
adoption.

22 ago.mo.gov
 FOR ADOPTIVE
6 Domestic adoption 10 International 16 The process 23 Birth parents rights
Private agency adoption Domestic Before, after termination

FOR BIRTH
PARENTS

PARENTS
Independent 12 FAQs/Myths International of parental rights
Stepparent 13 Getting started 25 Forms Rights of unmarried dads
Public agency 26 Terms, Resources Grieving process

For birth parents

Birth parents, just like adoptive parents, have to make tough choices that will last a lifetime.
While some parents are abusive or neglectful, others cannot financially or emotionally take
care of their children and choose to provide a better home for their children through adoption.

Birth parents usually fall into Open versus closed adoption:

two categories: Do you want to have a relationship
l They are the legal parents of a with the child after the adoption?
child, and are considering an Will the adoptive parents agree to
adoption plan for their child. it?
l Their parental rights have been
Visitation: If the adoption will be
permanently terminated, and
open, how often would you like to
they have contact or want to
see the child? Where? Will it be
make contact with their child.
supervised?
Involuntary termination of Input: Will you be included in
parental rights (TPR) decisions affecting the child, such
A court makes this decision as medical care, schooling and
because of abandonment, neglect financial matters?
or abuse of a child or other serious Discuss your wishes with the
reasons. The decision is usually adoptive parents. But know that
made at the request of the Missouri even if they agree to them in
Department of Social Services or a Birth parents rights
You have the right to be writing, they can change their
county juvenile officer. minds, and these agreements
represented by a lawyer and
may receive emotional and probably are not enforceable in
Consent to adoption
grief counseling paid for by court.
Birth parents may choose to
the adopting family or
relinquish their parental rights adoption agency. After TPR
so their child can be adopted. Once your parental rights have
Missouri law requires a child to been terminated, you no longer are
be at least 48 hours old before a the legal parent of the child. But
consent to adoption is valid. Once you do have the right to pursue
You may choose to allow the
accepted by the court, the birth contact once your child is an adult.
adoptive parents to have input on
parents cannot change their minds After becoming an adult, the
your prenatal care and delivery,
and revoke the consent. adopted child may wish to find
visitation in the hospital after
delivery, or any other part of the out your identity. Court personnel
Birth parents rights
process. may not provide this information
before relinquishment
You also have the right to have without the consent of both birth
As the birth parents, you
medical bills and qualified living parents.
generally are the legal parents
expenses paid. If one of the birth parents has
of and decision-makers for your
This is the time to think about died, consent is only required from
child until the papers are signed to
what you want after the adoption is the surviving birth parent.
terminate your parental rights.
finalized. Factors to consider:

FOR BIRTH PARENTS 23


WELCOME
HOME
For birth parents
Rights of unmarried involved in closed, anonymous
birth fathers
A man who is not married to
the mother of his child can claim
legal paternity if both birth parents
sign an Affidavit Acknowledging
Paternity. This document is
available from most hospitals
and the Missouri Bureau of Vital
Records at 573-751-6378.
If the birth mother cannot be
located or is unwilling to sign the
affidavit, a man can add his name
to the Putative Father Registry.
This does not officially establish
paternity, but it does establish a
mans claim to be the father of a
child.
If a man registers before or
within 15 days of his childs birth,
he will be notified if there is an
adoption proceeding involving the
child. The adoption will then need
his consent to continue.
A man can add his name to
the registry by completing the
Notice of Intent to Claim Paternity.
Contact the Missouri Department
of Health and Senior Services at
800-859-7999 or get the form at
ago.mo.gov/adoption/.
24 ago.mo.gov
We tried hard to reunite
our foster daughter with
her mom.
Search and reunion
Adoption agreements (closed adoptions)
If you sign an agreement Birth parents and children
with the adoptive parents for
adoptions may decide later that
visitation or other privileges,
they would like to meet. This
think of this as a moral, not
decision must be mutual.
legal, agreement. If adoptive
The Missouri Department of
parents change their minds,
Social Services maintains an
it will be difficult if not
adoption registry. Birth parents can
impossible to enforce the
register their name at any time. An
agreement.
adopted child can register at age
18.
This list is not public
Grief
information, but the Department
Choosing adoption is a
of Social Services monitors the
courageous demonstration of love
registry for matches. Once the
for your child. It may also be one
department believes there is a
of the most difficult experiences
match, it is required by law to
of your life. There is a normal
begin contacting the parties to get
grieving process that all birth
their consent to release identities.
parents experience.
You can get the Adoption
The adoption experts working
Information Registry form by
with you can steer you toward the
contacting the department at
resources needed to work through
800-554-2222 or going to ago.
these issues, either through a
mo.gov/adoption/.
professional counselor or support
In addition, adoptees 18 and
group.
older may request a search to
Most professionals see adoption
connect with their birth parents.
as a lifelong process. If you are
Adoption searches may be
struggling emotionally, even years
conducted by licensed child-
after the adoption, talk with your
placing agencies or other persons
adoption agency or attorney about
authorized by the courts.
resources that can help you.
If a search is successful, the
decision to meet must be mutual
by the adoptee and birth parents.
 FOR ADOPTIVE
6 Domestic adoption 10 International 16 The process 23 Birth parents rights
Private agency adoption Domestic Before, after termination

FOR BIRTH
PARENTS

PARENTS
Independent 12 FAQs/Myths International of parental rights
Stepparent 13 Getting started 25 Forms Rights of unmarried dads
Public agency 26 Terms, Resources Grieving process

Forms and special recognition

Adoption Information
Registry Form
Form for biological parents:
ago.mo.gov/adoption/
Form for adopted children:
ago.mo.gov/adoption/
Missouri Department of
Social Services
800-554-2222
www.dss.mo.gov
Affidavit acknowledging
paternity
Form: www.dhss.mo.gov/
BirthAndDeathRecords (only
available in hard copy)
Missouri Bureau of Vital
Records
573-751-6378
Notice of intent to claim paternity (putative father)
Form: ago.mo.gov/adoption/
Missouri Bureau of Vital Records
573-751-6378
www.dhss.mo.gov/BirthAndDeathRecords
Task force members
Thank you to members of the
Attorney Generals Task Force on
Adoption for their help in creating
this publication:
Dianne Atteberry, Childrens Hope
International
Mary Beck, University of Missouri-
Columbia School of Law
Frank Block, LoveBasketInc.
Timothy Brassil, attorneyin St. Louis
Forms can be found on the
Attorney Generals Web site: Beth Dessem, Missouri Court
Appointed Special Advocates for
ago.mo.gov/ Children
adoption/ Teresa Hayner, Catholic Services for
Children & Youth
Carla Holste, attorney in Jefferson
City
Elizabeth Magee, attorney in
Columbia
Karen Morgan, Foster and Adoptive
Care Coalition

International adoption forms Jan Motl, Catholic Charities of

Kansas City
I-600A Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition form:
ago.mo.gov/adoption/ Lori Ross, Midwest Foster Care &
U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services Adoption Coalition
www.uscis.gov Allan Stewart, attorney in Clayton
800-375-5283
JamesA. Waits, attorney in Kansas
City, Mo.
Christine White, Lutheran Family and
Childrens Services
Michelle Windmoeller, Adoptive
Parents Network of Central Missouri
Judy Young, Holt International
Childrens Services

FORMS 25

WELCOME
HOME
Terms and resources
Adoptee: Child being adopted.
Adoptive parents or family:
Family adopting or seeking to
adopt the child.
Adoption petition: Legal
document that prospective parents
use to request a courts permission
to adopt.
Affidavit acknowledging
paternity: Document signed by
both birth parents acknowledging
the birth father of the child.
Birth parents or family:
Biological parents of a child.
Closed adoption: Adoption
in which the birth family and
adoptive family have no contact
after the adoption and sometimes
are unknown to each other.
Consent to adoption: Document
signed by a birth parent agreeing
that a child may be adopted. It
relinquishes a child for adoption
parental rights are terminated at
the finalization of adoption.
Finalization of adoption: Last
step in a domestic adoption where
the parents take legal custody of
a child. It usually involves a court
hearing.
Foster care: System of child
custody run by the state of
Missouri. Children in foster care
are in temporary custody of the
state because of problems with
their birth family.
26 ago.mo.gov
RESOURCES
www.Metrokcadoption.
com: Resource and links for
the Kansas City area.
www.nacac.org: General
information on adoption and
contacts for support groups
which there is some contact
in Missouri.
www.davethomas
foundation.com: The Dave
Thomas Foundation for
Adoption is a nonprofit
public charity dedicated to
foster care adoptions in
North America.
www.adopt.org: General
information and support for
all parties.
www.birthmother.com:
Support and resources for
birth parents.
Guardian ad litem: Attorney
assigned by the court to represent
the interests of the child during an
adoption.
Home study: Evaluation of the
family who wants to adopt.
Indian Child Welfare Act: Federal
law that says if an adoptee is a
Native American, the childs tribe
may have some say over who
adopts.
We know shes
safe with us.
Interstate Compact on the
Placement of Children:
Agreement among most U.S. states
governing how states interact with
each other when adoptive parents
and children live in different states.
Open adoption: Adoption in
between birth family and adoptive
family and child after the adoption
is finalized.
Putative father: Man who has
had sexual relations with a woman
who is not his wife and who has
been notified that she may be
pregnant by him.
Putative Father Registry: Allows
a man to make a legal claim that he
is the father of a child. Joining the
registry gives a man some say over
whether the child can be adopted.
Termination of parental
rights (TPR): Court order that
permanently removes birth parents
legal claim to their child.
Visa: A document that allows
a citizen of another country to
legally enter the United States.
Children adopted internationally
must have a visa before adoptive
parents can bring them to the U.S.
Wrongful adoption: An adoption
that occurred as a result of
incomplete information given
by an adoption professional.
Generally this type of adoption
would not have occurred if the
parents had known the accurate
history of the child.
OFFICE OF ATTORNEY GENERAL
PO Box 899
Jefferson City, MO 65102
573-751-3321
ago.mo.gov