Untitled

by Elisa Pantaleon

Submission date: 16-Oct-2017 09:21PM (UT C-0700)

Submission ID: 864029399
File name: Annotated_bibliography.docx (20.53K)
Word count: 762
Character count: 4641
 Hi Elisa, Try finding some
Peer Reviewed
peer-reviewed sources.
Your current research is
off to a good start, but you
need two peer reviewed
sources, too. To improve
your editorial and/or
revise this bibliography
for your portfolio, read the
comments below.

do you mean "if they are

contributing members of

society"? What if they just

arrived and don't have a
job yet. You should try to
qualify this thesis (see JTC
for definition of "qualify" if
necessary).
Which of these
arguments will you
pursue? Don't try
pursuing all of them--5
pages isn't enough
space for that. Choose
one to narrow your focus,
and qualify your claim
(which undocumented
immigrants should
receive health care?).

this quotation is a
fragment--I don't
know what it is
saying.
this is a
fragment, too.
Untitled
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

80
PAGE 1
/100

Text Comment. Hi Elisa, T ry f inding some peer-reviewed sources. Your current research is
of f to a good start, but you need two peer reviewed sources, too. T o improve your editorial
and/or revise this bibliography f or your portf olio, read the comments below.

QM Peer Reviewed
Our prompt specif ies a certain number of peer reviewed sources, and you have not met that
requirement. Read here if you need to review what counts as a peer reviewed source.

Text Comment. do you mean "if they are contributing members of society"? What if they
just arrived and don't have a job yet. You should try to qualif y this thesis (see JT C f or def inition
of "qualif y" if necessary).

PAGE 2

Text Comment. Which of these arguments will you pursue? Don't try pursuing all of them--
5 pages isn't enough space f or that. Choose one to narrow your f ocus, and qualif y your claim
(which undocumented immigrants should receive health care?).

Text Comment. this quotation is a f ragment--I don't know what it is saying.

PAGE 3

Text Comment. this is a f ragment, too.

PAGE 4
PAGE 5
RUBRIC: ANNOT BIBLIO RUBRIC

RHET FOCUS Prof icient

Write f or a specif ic audience and purpose.

ABSENT OR BELOW Audience's needs are of ten not recognized: terms and ideas need explanation and
BASIC language needs adjustment f or the audience. Purpose (to persuade reader that
sources are appropriate f or this editorial) isn't clear or achieved.

DEVELOPING Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to persuade reader that
sources are appropriate f or this editorial) may be unclear at times, and it may not be
achieved convincingly.

PROFICIENT Usually shows attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and ideas
and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to persuade reader that sources
are appropriate f or this editorial) may be implied, but it's clear and achieved.

ADVANCED Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to persuade reader that
sources are appropriate f or this editorial) is clear and achieved with style.

ET HICAL RES Developing

Using the appropriate majors customary citation style, ethically cite and communicate inf ormation f rom a
variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ABSENT OR BELOW Omits or uses discipline-appropriate in-text and end-of -text citations and quotation
BASIC marks incorrectly. Drops quotations and ideas into text without introducing source.
Frequently uses irrelevant or unpersuasive sources or relies exclusively on one
source.

DEVELOPING A f ew errors in discipline-appropriate in-text and end-of -text citations and quotation
marks. Of ten includes sources without introduction in cases when introduction is
necessary and discipline appropriate. Sometimes relies too heavily on a single source
or uses irrelevant or unpersuasive sources.

PROFICIENT Correctly uses discipline-appropriate in-text and end-of -text citations and quotation
marks. Usually introduces each source f ully (as necessary and discipline-appropriate)
reader knows who did the research or communicating, f or whom, and why. Use of
sources is usually diverse, relevant and persuasive.

ADVANCED Correctly uses discipline-appropriate in-text and end-of -text citations and quotation
marks. Introduces each source f ully (as necessary and discipline-appropriate)
reader knows who did the research or communicating, f or whom, and why. Use of
sources is always diverse, relevant and persuasive.

PERSUASION Prof icient

Compare, evaluate, synthesize, and communicate caref ully, objectively, and persuasively the relative merits
of alternative or opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values. Integrate this evaluative work into
a persuasive argument.

ABSENT OR BELOW Annotations to the working title and thesis are unclear, and their relevance,
BASIC timeliness, balance, and authority may be questionable or unclear. Alternately, the
writer may not have written the three required sentences f or each source.

DEVELOPING Annotations are related to the working title and thesis, but their relevance, timeliness,
balance, and authority may be questionable or unclear.

PROFICIENT Annotations usually persuade reader that the listed sources support the working title
and thesis and are relevant, timely, balanced, and authoritative.

ADVANCED Annotations persuade reader that the listed sources support the working title and
thesis and are relevant, timely, balanced, and authoritative.

ORGANIZ AT ION Developing

Organize, f ocus, and communicate ones thoughts clearly and ef f ectively to address a rhetorical situation.

ABSENT OR BELOW Organizational devices (working title and thesis, summary sentences, headings) are
BASIC missing or unclear. T hree-sentence annotations are not coherent.

DEVELOPING Organizational devices (working title and thesis, summary sentences, headings) f it
the prompt, but may be vague, too broad, or inconsistenly or illogically linked. T hree-
sentence annotations may not be coherent.

PROFICIENT Clear, specif ic organizational devices (working title and thesis, summary sentences,
headings) f it the prompt and tie ideas and topics together. T hree-sentence
annotations are coherent.

ADVANCED Clear, specif ic organizational devices (working title and thesis, summary sentences,
headings) f it the prompt and tie ideas and topics together logically and seamlessly.
T hree-sentence annotations f low logically and seamlessly.

LANG & DESIGN Developing

Recognize, evaluate, and employ the f eatures and contexts of language and design that express and
inf luence meaning and that demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural dif f erences.

ABSENT OR BELOW Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability. Lanuage may ref lect
BASIC a gender or cultural bias. Design may be unconventional and inef f ective.

DEVELOPING Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors of ten impede readability or otherwise
distract f rom meaning. Lanuage may occasionally suggest a gender or cultural bias.
Design may be inconventional or inef f ective.

PROFICIENT Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are f ew and do not distract f rom
meaning. Lanuage respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design is conventional
and ef f ective.

ADVANCED Outstanding control of language, including ef f ective diction and sentence variety.
Lanuage respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design is conventional and
ef f ective.
Untitled
ORIGINALITY REPORT

16 %
SIMILARIT Y INDEX
13%
INT ERNET SOURCES
4%
PUBLICAT IONS
15%
ST UDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
Submitted to University of Alabama at
Birmingham
4%
St udent Paper

2
law-journals-books.vlex.com
Int ernet Source 3%
3
Submitted to Laredo Community College
St udent Paper 2%
4
Submitted to Deltak
St udent Paper 2%
5
Submitted to Missouri State University
St udent Paper 1%
6
www.undocumentedpatients.org
Int ernet Source 1%
7
eber.uek.krakow.pl
Int ernet Source 1%
8
Submitted to Kaplan University
St udent Paper 1%
9
www.fairus.org
 Int ernet Source

1%

Exclude quotes On Exclude matches Of f

Exclude bibliography On