Bystanders Beware

An interactive story surrounding bystander involvement

Kaitlyn Graham
May 9th, 2017
Dark Side of Human Communication
This short story is designed to provide scenarios involving dark situations. These
situations happen every day, and are scenarios the author believes could be
impacted by bystander intervention and awareness. Please follow this story as
you please, and keep your mind open to how they could relate to your own life.
This is not in any way, shape, or form meant as a way to solve the issues brought
up, and is also not supposed to blame anyone for action or lack of. Pick your path
either by what you would actually do in a real-life situation if this happened, or go
through picking how the story goes based on what interests you.

1|Page
To set the scene

You are an 18-year-old, senior in high school. It is around the middle of the year,
and you have gotten into the routine of managing school, friends, and playing
your favorite sport, basketball. You have a strong and trust-filled friendship with
your group of friends, and you like to hang out with them multiple times a week.
You also get along well with your parents, and can describe your relationship with
them as open and comfortable. You deal with the occasional stress of basketball
competition, getting As and Bs in school, and when your friends get into
arguments, but overall you are a confident and secure person. On one average
day, you are about to leave your house. Where are you going?

You are going to:

School turn to page 3

The Mall turn to page 4

Friends house turn to page 5

2|Page
When you get to School you begin your day as usual, grabbing a coffee with
two friends before home room, and then going through your classes with the
usual focus and work ethic. Your parents text you halfway through the day to
make sure you are doing well and wish you good luck on your basketball game
later today. You make plans with friends to go out to the movies tomorrow. The
person you want to go to prom with tells one of your friends that they are
interested in going with you. While certain aspects of your life worry you, you
have an overall positive experience with your interpersonal interactions with
those you have relationships with today. Then you witness something in the
hallway at school.

You witness:

A form of bullying turn to page 6

A form of parental abuse turn to page 7

A form of sexual cohesion turn to page 8

3|Page
You decide to go to the Mall with your friends because it is a rainy Saturday
and you have shopping to do! You have saved enough money from working in the
past year to shop for prom with your friends (renting a tux or buying a dress). You
have heard recently that the person you are interested in going to prom with is
also interested in going with you, so you are now eager to find the right thing to
wear! You are comfortable enough with your parents to tell them who you think
you will go with, and they are definitely excited for you to go with your friends
and find something to wear. You and your friends get to the mall and begin going
from store to store, giving each other advice while having fun finding the right
outfit. While you are stopped in the food court getting a quick lunch, you witness
something.

You witness:

A form of bullying turn to page 9

A form of parental abuse turn to page 10

A form of sexual cohesion turn to page 11

4|Page
Deciding to go to your Friends house, you begin the short drive across
town. Your friend was eager for you to come over, and youre assuming it is
because you need to help plan out how to find prom dates. You have been to this
friends house many times, but usually only when one or no parents are over.
Your own parents like this friend, and youre guessing its because your dad works
for the same company as your friends dad. You and your friend have had many
fun experiences with each other, and dont really fight. This is friend is one of
many in your combined friend group. You pull up to their driveway, and see them
peeking out from behind their bedroom window curtain. You wave, and they
seem startled you saw them waiting but happy to see you. Upon entering their
house, you witness something.

You witness:

A form of bullying turn to page 12

A form of parental abuse turn to page 13

A form of sexual cohesion turn to page 14

5|Page
It doesnt seem like a stereotypical act of Bullying, but it still strikes you as
alarming. You and your friends are by the lockers, waiting between classes for the
next bell to ring. A loud conversation behind you disrupts your groups focus, and
you all turn to watch the girls at the locker behind you. Three girls, all who have
been known as friends for a long time, are seen laughing together, except one of
them isnt really laughing as hard. Two of the girls are pointing to their friend, and
you catch on that they are talking about her outfit. The girl is wearing jeans and a
fashionable shirt, the same outfit as her friends, but when you listen closely, you
hear they are making fun of her size. Comments like, You wear a size 14?? or
Your old prom dress would probably swallow me then! cause even more
laughter from the group. You focus on the one girl of whom the laughter focuses
on, and while she is trying to laugh along, you can tell she isnt comfortable with
the discussion, especially with how many people in the hall seem to have heard.
Her friends notice the attention, and continue their laughter and jokes about her
larger clothing. You look to your own friends to see their reactions, and most of
them seem to either be looking at their phones or smirking as well. Youre going
to have to lose some weight if you want a prom date, says one of the girls in the
laughing group behind you. What do you do?

Your reaction:

Continue on to class without interfering turn to page 15

Reach out to the girl later on in the day when you see her
in the hall alone turn to page 16

Walk up to her friends in front of everyone and tell them

to stop making fun of her weight turn to page 17

6|Page
Youve heard of forms of child abuse before that have taken place to

people you know, but never occurring to someone as old as high-school aged.
When you are waiting by lockers with your friends for the bell to ring for next
class, you notice a student being dropped off outside the doors. The student is a
senior, like you, and gets out of the car that his mother is driving. Before he shuts
the car door, you see his mother angrily saying something, which you presume is
loud because of the other students walking by that turn and look. The mother has
a flask in her hand, and you can see a box of beer in the back seat. When the boy
closes the car door, his mom speeds away and he walks quickly into school. His
locker is across from the one your friends are standing by, and you watch as he
takes off his jacket shoving it into his locker. Before he has time to pull down the
sleeves of his sweatshirt, you notice a string of light bruises down his arms. Your
friends dont notice the whole situation, and are still talking about their plans for
prom outfit shopping. The student closes his locker and picks up his backpack to
walk away. What do you do?

Your reaction:

Continue on to class without saying anything

turn to page 15

Tell the guidance counselor, your friends, or a

teacher what you saw turn to page 16

Stop your classmate before he walks away and ask

him if he needs help turn to page 17

7|Page
When most people think of acts of Sexual coercion they think it is
limited to forced sex and/or rape. As an intelligent communicator, you know that
this is not the case, and that there is a continuum of coercion. While acts may
differ in severity, you know that many types of sexual actions can be unwanted.
While in the hallway at school between classes, you are standing with a group of
friends by a locker. A couple who have been together for a while are walking
down the hall hold hands. The couple have been together since their freshmen
year, and everyone knows they will be the prom king and queen this year. They
stop at the locker next to you and your friends, and you can hear their
conversation. You see the senior guy, Todd, put his hand on his girlfriend, Jens
butt when she bends over to reach into her locker. Todd, stop! Jen says loudly,
slapping his hand away angrily. You listen as Todd laughs, and watch out of the
corner of your eyes as he grabs onto her hips from behind. I like it when you
fight, like last night. Jen pushes him away again, and you see her face get red.
You think you see tears in her eyes, but the bell rings and your friends are starting
to leave. What do you do?

Your reaction:

Continue on to class without saying anything

turn to page 15

Tell the guidance counselor, your friends, or a

teacher what you saw turn to page 16

Stop Jen before she walks away and ask her if she
needs help or wants to talk turn to page 17

8|Page
When you get to the mall, you arent expecting to be confronted with the
presence of bullying. You and your friends came to go to the major stores
that sell prom tuxes/dresses, and not surprisingly the majority of the mall is filled
with highschoolers doing the same thing. When youre a store trying on
tuxes/dresses, you notice a group of girls looking at dresses on a rack near you.
You overhear their conversation, directed towards one girl in the group. They are
talking about their weight, and how one girl in particular is larger than the rest. I
dont think they have that dress in your size or any dress in your size, says one
of the girls to the larger girl in the group. You and your friends all hear, but your
friends choose to turn the other way and continue shopping. The conversation
continues, and you hear one of the larger girls friends say, maybe you shouldnt
have eaten to many cookies yesterday, which follows up with laughter from the
group of girls. You see the larger girls look of sadness and hurt, and realize your
friends are moving further and further away from the other girls. What do you
do?

Your reaction:

Continue on shopping without interfering turn

to page 15

Tell a mall cop or a store manager what you saw

turn to page 16

Walk up to her friends in front of everyone and

tell them to stop making fun of her weight turn
to page 17

9|Page
While Parental abuse is something that you thought was done in private,
you witness it occurring at the food court in front of your eyes. A father and two
young boys, you guess about seven or eight years old, are sitting at a table with
pieces of pizza. One of the boys, sitting directly next to the father, is what you call
pouting over his pizza. You watch as the father leans down towards him and tells
the boy he needs to eat pizza. Your friends are all looking at the menu where you
are ordering, and dont notice the young boy beginning to cry as his dad pinches
the side of his arm under the table. As the crying begins to worsen, the father gets
angrier and angrier, and you watch as he grips his sons leg under the table. The
other son sits and watches, eating his pizza silently. You look to your friends to
see their reaction, and see that none of them have noticed the interaction taking
place. It seems like no one in the room has noticed, or if they have they chose not
to do anything. Your friends have all ordered and are walking to find a table, but
you can still see the father hurting his son. What do you do?

Your reaction:

Continue on to eat without saying anything

turn to page 15

Tell your friends or a security guard what you

saw turn to page 16

Confront the father turn to page 17

10 | P a g e
What would you do if you witnessed Sexual coercion? You are at a sit-
down restaurant in the mall food court with your friends. You all are laughing, and
enjoying your meal, when you notice a couple at the bar. You recognize them
from earlier, because you had watched the man move over from the far end of
the bar and introduce himself to the woman. As the dinner has gone on, youve
watched the man buy the woman many drinks, each time inching closer and
closer to the woman in his chair. When you and your friends are about to leave,
you watch the woman get up and start to walk drunkenly towards the bathroom.
When she begins to stumble, the man eagerly jumps up and begins to lead her
towards the bathroom, and you notice his hands precariously low on her hips. As
you are walking out of the restaurant, you glance back and see the man pressing
the woman up against the wall in the back corner with his hand over her mouth.
You cant tell what the woman is doing, but you notice her eyes are darting
around. Your friends are already walking away, what do you do?

Your reaction:

Continue on into the mall without saying

anything turn to page 15

Tell your friends, a security guard, or the

restaurant what you saw turn to page 16

Walk over to the couple and ask the woman if she

needs help turn to page 17

11 | P a g e
Your friends mom has told you about Bullying that has gone on in your
friends life before. Youve never talked about it with your friend, but hey, thats a
hard conversation to have, and you know that theyve been happy at your school
that they moved to a couple years ago. When you get to this friends house, you
walk into their living room and greet two other friends that stopped by as well.
You noticed they are all hovered around on computer, and you think they are
looking at prom related things because thats the reason you came over. When
you see the other side of the screen, you realize they are looking at old pictures of
your friend, back before she moved to your town. She looks very different, mainly
because she weighs more in the picture and still has braces and unbrushed hair.
Your friends are all laughing extremely hard, saying things like, wow, is that the
look that got all the guys/girls? and you were a whale! You see your friends
face, and while they are trying to laugh along, you can tell it is not funny to them.
Your friends continue scrolling through pictures, reading some of the comments
out loud and laughing even harder. You feel uncomfortable and you know your
friend does too. What do you do?

Your reaction:

Continue on listening without reacting turn to

page 15

Tell your Friends mom abouT iT laTer on turn to

page 16

Tell your friends to stop bullying turn to page 17

12 | P a g e
Youve always thought of child abuse to be something that happens to kids
when they are little, not to people your age. When you walk into your friends
house, you see their father asleep on the couch, beer bottles and cigarettes on
the table next to him. You walk around the couch into the kitchen area, and have
to step over broken glass on the floor. As you start to head up the stairs, you
notice the sound of sniffling coming from the bathroom, and you set your bag
down by your friends room and walk over to the almost closed bathroom door.
Through the small opening of the door, you see your friends face in the mirror,
dabbing makeup around their cheek where there is a large bruise. They also have
cuts along their arms, which you presume are from broken glass like the stuff
downstairs. You can connect the dots; youve seen your friend come to school
with bruises and broken bones before, but why havent they told you? What do
you do?

Your reaction:

Go To your Friends room and waiT For Them, donT

bring up the abuse until they tell you turn to
page 15

Tell a counselor, or your parents about the abuse

turn to page 16

Talk to your friend directly, see how they can get

help, confront their dad turn to page 17

13 | P a g e
You know sexual coercion can occur very frequently in all types of
relationships, but it is never something you or someone you know has
experienced. When you walk into your friends house, you yell hello and hear a
muffled reply from upstairs. You start to walk up the stairs, and hear your friend
in her bedroom. When you enter, the first thing you ask is about her date last
night with the mystery boy that had messaged her on Facebook. She doesnt
laugh or joke like she normally does when you ask her about boys, but instead she
shrugs and says he wasnt nice. She has a baseball hat pulled down low on her
face, and is wrapped in a blanket where she sits on her bed. You ask what they did
after they went to dinner, because you were planning on seeing her after her
date, but she never came to your house. Your friend shrugs, and says they just
hung out and he brought her home. As you continue hanging out, you begin
talking about prom shoes, so you walk towards her closet. You notice her clothes,
the ones youd help her pick for her date, rolled in a ball on the floor. You see
stains of red and dirt streaks all along the dress, and you notice one of the heels
on her shoes is broken. Looking back at your friend, you catch a quick glimpse of
her eyes, and see that they are puffy and bloodshot. You start to get a sense of
what happened, but your friend has now switched topics. What do you do?

Your reaction:

iGnore your GuT and donT say anyThinG turn to page 15

Tell a counselor, or your parents about what you think

happened turn to page 16

Ask your friend what happened and take her to get help
turn to page 17

14 | P a g e
By choosing to Not saying anything when you are a bystander of bullying,
child abuse, or sexual coercion, you have given the perpetrator a silent cue that
what they are doing is okay. It is not directly your fault that the event is
happening, but by not saying anything to anyone, either in private or in front of a
crowd, the perpetrator isnt stopped and is given a false sense that what they are
doing is okay. When witnessing an act of bullying, child abuse, or sexual coercion,
it is important as a bystander to act in the moment to either defend the victim or
stop the perpetrator. Each of these examples are real-life possibilities that happen
more than we think, and while they may be dark and hard to confront, it is
important for the health of the victim to stop the perpetrator. While speaking up
as a bystander may be hard, it is the right thing to do.

15 | P a g e
By choosing to Say something later to an adult or someone who could
help you decide what to do, you are taking a step in the right direction of helping
the situation. The problem is, when you dont confront a perpetrator of bullying,
parent abuse, or sexual coercion immediately when you see the act being done, it
can give them the immediate illusion that what they are doing is okay. It also can
make anyone else who is witnessing the situation think that not doing anything is
okay. By speaking up, you are more likely to gain support from other bystanders
who were afraid to speak up, as well as supporting the victim. By waiting to speak
up later to either your friends or an adult that could do something instead of
confronting the perpetrator and victim when you notice the event occurring, you
are giving the victim the idea in the moment that no one cares about them. You
also are risking the chance that nothing will be done about the situation. The best
thing to do in a situation like this is to stand up as a bystander and stop the
situation that is occurring.

16 | P a g e
By choosing to Confront the situation, you are showing that you
support the victim and are telling the perpetrator that what they are doing is
wrong. When you witness an act of bullying, parent abuse, or sexual coercion, the
best thing to do is to step in and not be a quiet bystander. You cant rely on
someone else to say something, and you cant rely on confiding in someone later
else and waiting for them to do something. Whether it is stepping in front of a
bully or an abusive parent, being an active bystander can help other bystanders
be comfortable acting in a situation as well. Being an active bystander wont
completely solve a situation, but it will help support the victim and stop the
perpetrator at least in one instance. While it is very common for people to not do
anything because no one else is or because they are worried what they are seeing
isnt abuse, standing up in a situation is something that needs to be more widely
communicated.

17 | P a g e