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ENJOY

GREATER INTIMACY
IN YOUR
MARRIAGE!
BY DR. JAMES C. DOBSON
When a husband and wife achieve true intimacy, they will naturally
desire to share their romantic feelings at the deepest level. By Gods
design, one of the most pleasurable ways for couples to express their
profound love and appreciation is through His gift of sexual intimacy.

The Art of Making Love


Some would say that having sex and making love are one and the same, but
theres an important distinction between the two. The physical act of intercourse
can be accomplished by any appropriately matched members of the animal
kingdom. But the art of making love, as intended by God, is a much more
meaningful and complex experience. It is physical, emotional, and spiritual.
In marriage we should settle for nothing less than a sexual relationship that is
expressed not only body to body, but also heart to heart and soul to soul. This
intimate union, two becoming one flesh, is both the symbol and fruit of genuine,
heartfelt romantic love between a husband and wife.

The epitome of deeply felt romantic loveincluding sexual intimacycan only


be expressed within the unbreakable bond of marriage. Solomons Song of Songs
concludes with this eloquent description of the connection between two married
lovers: Love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like
a blazing fire, like a mighty flame (8:6).

This fiery, romantic, sexually intimate love is not achieved overnight. It develops
between a man and woman through a process called marital bonding. Such bonding
refers to the emotional covenant that links a man and woman together for life and
makes them intensely valuable to one another. It is the specialness that sets those
two lovers apart from every other couple on the face of the earth. It is Gods gift of
intimate companionship.

2 ENJOY GREATER INTIMACY IN YOUR MARRIAGE by Dr. James C. Dobson


No matter how you express romancethrough flowers, love notes, an evening
in the bedroom, or all of the aboveit is a vital ingredient for achieving genuine
and lasting intimacy in your marriage. If you are careful to nurture and protect the
flame of romance in your relationship, youll enjoy its warmth for a lifetime.

Action Steps for Your Romance


Write down what romance means to you and ask your partner to do the same.
Now compare notes. You may be surprised at what your spouse comes up with!

What are your favorite memories of romance with your mate?


How could you recapture those? What new memories would you like to make?
Schedule at least two of these for sometime in the next two months.

Gods Recipe For Sex


Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.
Song of Songs 4:16

3 ENJOY GREATER INTIMACY IN YOUR MARRIAGE by Dr. James C. Dobson


Someone once said that in matters of sex, men are like microwaves and
women are like crockpots. There is certainly some truth to that cooking
analogyhusbands can reach their boiling point before many wives have
even decided whats on the menu! Why would God make men and women
this way? Dont our different makeups set us up for conflict when our
attention turns to physical intimacy?

I believe the Lord knew just what He was doing when He established these
fundamental differences between us. After all, if women were more like men,
wed all probably spend so much time in the bedroom that wed never get
anything else done. And if men were more like women, wed enjoy many more
meaningful conversationsbut the species might just disappear!

Our differences are what make life so interesting and invigorating. They
force us to reach out, to grow, to appreciate our partner. When a husband is
extroverted and the wife is introverted, the husband draws out the wife, while
the wife helps the husband take time to reflect. When a wife is spontaneous
and her husband is a planner, she brings energy and excitement to his life,
while he adds stability to hers.

So it is with sex. Emotional and physical differences create interest and


excitement. We encourage you to celebrate them! After all, when marital
partners are joined as one flesh, it is more than a physical union. We are
merging our whole beingsbody, mind, and spiritin a wonderful and sacred
encounter. This is just what your loving God intended. You can enjoy the variety
that each of you brings to your marriageno matter what youre cooking.

With a little unselfish forethought, each can learn to


satisfy the other. Responding to these basic differences
opens the door for genuine passion in marriage.

4 ENJOY GREATER INTIMACY IN YOUR MARRIAGE by Dr. James C. Dobson


R E L A T E D R E S O U R C E S

CLICK T0 READ 6 Ways A Man Can Increase Intimacy In His Marriage

CLICK T0 LISTEN Building Up Your Spouse

CLICK TO WATCH Develop Common Interests With Your Spouse

For over three decades, Dr. James Dobson has been Americas leading authority and advocate
for the family. This material is excerpted from Dr. Dobsons 5 Essentials for Lifelong Intimacy,
Night Light for Couples and What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women.
Copyright 2017 Family Talk. Used with permission.

5 ENJOY GREATER INTIMACY IN YOUR MARRIAGE by Dr. James C. Dobson

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