Dictionary of Obscure Sexual Terms

Angry Dragon
Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her
head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry
dragon.

Arabian Goggles
A "seldom-seen" maneuver when you put your testicles over her eye sockets
while getting head. (Picture it: ass on forehead) It may be anatomically
impossible, but what the fuck else is new.

The Bait N' Tackle

The sailors used this one in the old Navy days. Before you go off for a long,
lonely voyage, get yourself a tall jar and fill it completely with earthworms. When
you get lonely, open the jar and fuck away. The earthworms will provide some
slithery stimulation, and your protein load will keep them nicely fed. Gone fishing!

Ballsacking
Takes some luck of the gene pool, but if you're able to do it, always great fun.
While you are straddling her, take your nutsack and spread it out over her face
like pizza dough.

Bear Claw
A synonym for extremely large pussy lips.

Beef Curtain
The shanked out remains of the labia after being stretched like Play-Doh from an
hour or so of jimmy-jam.

Beer Dick
This is what most guys get after a good night of drinking. They tend to fuck
anything with a pussy while experiencing beer dick.

Blumpy
You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you
off while you are on the shitter.

The Bronco
You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you
grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. This gives you the
feeling of riding a wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off.

Brown Bagging It
Sometimes you meet a girl with a body like there's no tomorrow but a face like a
mangy dog. Don't let that body go to waste and let her hideousness stop you
from fucking her though. Just draw the smiley face on a brown paper bag, place
it over her head, and fuck away while keeping your composure and piece of
mind.

Brown Necktie
You're about halfway through ass-wrecking a chick, and instead of filling up her
keister with your demonseed, you pull out and proceed to tittie fuck her, leaving a
brown streak between the funbags.

Brunski
When a man puts his face between a woman's breasts and quickly moves his
head back and forth while saying "Brunski" in a very drawn out and exaggerated
manner. (There are many other variant names.)

The Bullwinkle
The sign given to a friend in hiding while doggie styling' some chick. It is
performed by placing both hands over the head, with palms facing out and
waving wildly. Can be supplemented by shouting "Hey Rocky." (Make sure to use
appropriate Bullwinkle voice tone.)

Butter Face
When you see a chick with an awesome body, "but her face", is nasty.

The Canine Special

Liberally apply peanut butter to your dick and call over the family dog. Lick Ubu
lick. Good Dog. Arf!
The Carpet Cleaner
While banging a girl doggy style, tie her arms behind her back, lift up her hips,
and run around the room pushing her face first across the carpet. Not
recommended with large women.

The Chili Dog

When you take a hot dump on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty fuck her.

Chocolate Pizza
Happily discovering hemorrhoids while eating a shitty brown eye.

Cleveland Steamer
The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage of a woman while receiving penile
pleasure from friction between the mammaries.

Cock-Stuffing
Apparently somewhat on the fringe in gay circles, but involves using thin,
cylindrical items (thermometers, wire, rubber worms, etc.), and inserting them
into the dick hole. Over many months, continue to gradually ream out the hole-at-
the-head with larger items, thus ultimately allowing your "buddy" to obtain the
goal of fucking your urethra. Wow!

Cold Lunch
The act of vomiting directly onto some chick's head while she's performing
fellatio.

The Concoction
First, ejaculate all over the floor. Next, have your psycho bitch girlfriend
menstruate on your semen. Stir it with your finger until you get a nice thick pink
mixture. Proceed to paint yourselves up silly, just as if you were in kindergarten
again.

The Compton Gangbang

You meet a young lady at the bar. She tells you she has a boyfriend, but she
ends up going home with you anyway for a one-night stand. When you take her
to your place, tell your friends to wait outside your bedroom door. Just when
she's about to get off, your friends barge in the room and plainly beat the shit out
of her. That should teach her not to fuck around. (Ladies, feel free to perform a
Compton Gangbang on guys too. I know you've got some fat girlfriends to help
you out.)

Cop's Delight
The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out, and spewing all over her "pastry
buns", thus transforming her rump into the allusion of an oversized, quivering
glazed donut.

The Corkscrew
Cross your fingers, middle over index. Twist your wrist back and forth and go to
work on your desired orifice. With practice, you'll have the effectiveness of a dill
press and within weeks you'll be able to bore through wood.

Corn
Originating from the fine campus of Cornell University comes this unique, rarely
used term. Saying that a girl is "Corn" means, she is so fucking hot, so beautiful,
so utterly drop-dead gorgeous, that you would happily eat the corn out of her shit.
Can be used as a great pick-up line or friendly compliment, for instance; "Baby,
you're more Corn than Green Giant", or "Damn bitch, you are Corn!"

Couch Bombing
When you fill a small ziploc sandwich bag with Crisco (or your favorite
lubrication) and place it between the cushions on the couch. You then proceed to
fuck the couch as if it were a woman...but no need to buy It dinner first

Coyote
This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know
you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped
around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation.
Can be very painful.

Cum Dumpster
A quadriplegic whore.

Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch

The once in a lifetime act when blowing a hot steamy load down the back of the
girl's throat, proceed to give her a large cold bottle of your most favorite
carbonated drink and make her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head vigorously
back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to
impress your friends.
Daisy Chain
Partner (A) is sucking off or eating out partner (B) who is sucking off or eating out
partner (C) and so on until the final person is sucking off or eating out partner (A).
Partners can be gay, lesbian or straight.

Davey Crockett
A sexual maneuver in which you slip muscle relaxants into your gal's snizzpod,
then slide your head in, thus wearing your partner's now-relaxed snatch-fur as a
coonskin cap. Can come in handy on those cold winter nights.

Dirty Sanchez
A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your
finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip
leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is
Dirty Sanchez.

Dirty Swirly
While boning a chick doggie style near a toilet (preferably one filled with a
healthy load of shit, or some hot piss, or both), stick her head in the toilet and
flush...she'll dig it.

Dog In A Bathtub
This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It
is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while
giving it a bath.

Donkey Punch
Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick
in her ass, and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will
stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict the penis and give you a
tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate.

Duct Tape Trick

Wrapping a hamster in duct tape so you can safely fuck it without the danger of a
messy split.

Dutch Oven
Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odor by farting
under the covers and pulling them over her head (and yours as well if you're into
that sort of thing).

Dutch Treat
The unexpected result of a Dutch Oven gone terribly awry. Can be very messy.

DVDA
The abbreviation for "double-anal, double-vaginal". This is the term used when a
girl takes four cocks in two holes. A hard core porn industry norm.

The Electric Chair

Your psychobitch girlfriend decides she wants to try something kinky, so she
props your stupid naive ass up in a chair, strips you down, and ties you up. After
arousing you, she then takes a car battery and clamps two jumper cables to each
nut sack. This causes you to have all sorts of synapses, spasms, and
convulsions. She then mounts your Frankenstein and proceeds to get
electrofucked. Warning! May cause erectile dysfunction after performed.

Felching
A gay activity which I do not condone at all. It happens when one fag fucks
another fag in the ass and then sucks the jizz out with a straw. Only included for
those of you who are considering going to jail. *note: never seen it done with a
straw...

The Fish Eye

From behind, you shove both fists in her ass (or his if in prison). Thereupon she
turns around in a one-eyed winking motionsignaling that she has been there and
done that.

Fish-Hook
When you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.

The Fire Island

This consists of telling someone you're going to spunk on their face while they
are asleep, only half-jokingly, and then when they don't believe you, doing it just
to prove that you're that demented.
Flaming Amazon
This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When your screwing some chick,
right when your about to cum, you pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter
and set her pubes on fire, then...extinguish the flames with your jizz!

Flooding The Cave

Inserting the penis into a woman's pussy and then urinating inside her. Applies to
butt pirates as well.

The Flying Camel

A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from
your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using
your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to
flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly
a class move.

The Flying Dutchman

This didn't used to be a specific deviant sexual act, it was just a phrase that
sounded dirty and would be shouted out during intercourse on occasion simply
for the novelty factor. However, its popularity increased and it has now developed
into a specific act, namely that of, just as you are about to blow a load, in any sort
of sexual situation (even masturbation for those true pioneers who are constantly
on the cutting edge of the sexual revolution) you begin to shout, "Here comes the
Flying Dutchman!" This should confuse your sexual partner (or whoever is in
hearing range) completely, sometimes causing interesting side effects.

The Fountain Of You

While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman.
Build up as much pressure as possible before you release and spew like a
venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed)

Fur Ball
You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane between her legs
the size of Lionel Richie's afro, a mammoth hair ball gets lodged into your throat.

Gobstopper
With two hands, spread your tramp's anus open, then spit a big-ass loogie down
the asshole then close it back up. You can give her a smack on the ass when
you're done, if you want.
Golden Shower
Any form of dropping piss all over your partner. Great for those who like
watersports.

Greek
The act of using your "glue stick" (if you know what I'm saying) and gluing your
gal's eyes closed with your man seed. E.g. "Hey guys, check it out, I just greeked
her!" or "Sorry honey, but you asked for the Greek salad

Ham And Cheese Sandwich

Eating a woman's box after you ejaculate all over it. A delightful, tasty
combination of her yummy meat curtains with your added cheesy topping is sure
to appeal to anyone's appetite.

Hershey Highway
When plugging your girl in the ass, you run into some hot diarrhea. Don't hurt her
feelings by getting grossed out though, just pretend it's extra lube.

High Dive
The skill of pulling your Johnson all the way out of your partner's hole and in one
motion jamming it home again. Best suited for use in the corn hole, but can be
very dangerous.

The Hindenburg
When some slut who is so bad at oral sex, you're forced to cry "Oh! The
humanity!" as her teeth scrape your man tool.

Hogging
While intoxicated, high, or just plain desperate, you go searching for the fattest
bitch you can find and proceed to ride her like a Harley. Best accomplished with
large groups friends.

Hole In One
The act of sticking your dick in your own ass. Just try not to get a huge boner
once it's in, or you'll get a nice snapparoo.

Hotdog In A Hallway
When laying the pipe, you realize your dick isn't even touching the walls of her
vagina, kind of like tossing a hotdog in a hallway. Most frequently happens when
banging the neighborhood trick or if you're slinging a small dick.

Hot Karl
The act in which a woman sucks the cock of the same man who moments earlier
was balls deep in her can.

Hot Karl Candy Cane

A variation of the above in which the man who is receiving the oral cock cleaning
gives the woman a reach around.

Hot Lunch
The result of defecating a tube of shit directly into a girl's mouth.

Hummer
The well known added variation to a blowjob in which a broad hums her favorite
tune while she sucks away. The vibrations felt against your dick will most
definitely produce a healthy orgasm.

The Hunter Gatherer

You and your partner defecate while 69ing. Pretty much self-explanatory.

The Indian Cock Burn

While a chick sucks you off, she twists her hand around your shaft as if she was
trying to give you an Indian burn.

The Jedi Mind Trick

When banging your partner, you repeatedly shout "I'm NOT fucking you, I'm NOT
fucking you".

The Jelly Donut

Give some skank a facial and follow it up with a swift pimp crack in the nose. The
resulting blood and jizz that covers her face bears a resemblance to a jelly donut.

The Juanita Special Bean Dip

While your tramp rides you like a mechanical bull, insert your thumb into her
poop chute (be sure to get your thumb nice and gooey), then stick your brown
thumb into her mouth, and slip it under her tongue so she can get the full robust
taste of the Juanita "special" bean dip.

Kennebunkport Surprise
The act of covertly filling your cheeks with chunky-style New England clam
chowder, and screaming in disgust as you hurl it between your partners legs
while eating her out.

Kick-Fucking
The act of receiving sexual pleasure from repeatedly getting kicked in the ass.

The Landshark
The woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands against the wall, legs
spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting out. (hint: She might want to
wear a biking helmet and some rollerblading wrist guards to avoid serious injury.)
Next, the guy also naked as well as stiff cocked, walks to the opposite end of the
room, places his palms together and raises them above his head, (thus imitating
the dorsal fin of a shark) and begins chanting the theme to Jaws. When given
some predetermined signal, the guy sprints toward the girl at full speed with his
pelvis-out, fin protruding, and rams her dead square in the ass.

The Lorena Bobbit

Obviously, this one is for the ladies. When engaging in some hard core booty
sex, squeeze your butt cheeks together as tight as you can, and start violently
jumping and thrashing your ass around, in an effort to rip his dick off. (To reach
true Lorena status, you must take the severed dick for a drive and then toss it out
the window.)

The Menthol
The act of getting head from a woman who just moments earlier ate a numerous
amounts of cough drops, thus insuring a pleasurable, tingly feeling on your cock.

The Mellon Dive

Headbutting a woman's big fat titties. Always lots of fun.

Monkey Wrench
When some sadistic bitch takes your dick back between your legs and sucks you
off.

Monroe Transfer
When you and your partner connect each other's assholes with a tube. One
defecates through the tube, thus transferring the turds to the rectum of the other.

The Moped
A chick that's a fun ride until your friends see you on it, if you know what I mean.

The Mork
Made famous by Robin Williams on Mork & Mindy, stick your pinky and ring
fingers up a girls ass, then jam your middle and index fingers up her cunt.
(Please note: Not complete until you finish it off with a Nanoo-Nanoo!)

Moses
A man who enjoys going down on a woman during her period. Derived from the
Biblical figure Moses, who parted the Red Sea.

The Motorboat
While performing oral sex on a girl, flap your lips together on her clit, thus
imitating the sound of a motorboat. She'll love you forever.

Muff Teaser
Finger, suck, eat, etc. a girl until she is begging for it. Then rub your stiffy round
her golden valley until she screams at you to give her a banging. Right when her
frustration is at its highest level, stop and finish with a DIY(do it yourself) handjob.
Then leave the room without saying a word. Not to be tried if you want to shack
up with the selfish bitch again.

The Mung
Obtain a female that has been dead for 2-3 days (the time period since death is
important). Then place your mouth just outside her vaginal opening. Have a
friend jump on her stomach, and try to catch as much stuff that comes out as you
can in your mouth.

Mushy Biscuit
This is actually a very fun game. Just choose a piece of food that you and your
male friends like to eat. Then you and your buddies form a tight circle around the
food item and proceed to jerk off all over it. Last one to bust a nut gets the prize
of eating the food.

New Jersey Meat-Hook

The unusual method of inserting one's finger in the ass of your partner while
screwing her, and feeling her cervix. This procedure is most effective from
behind.

New York Style Taco

Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you barf on her box.
Happy trails.

The Nixon
A variation of the Bullwinkle in which you give two peace signs as your signal of
dominance. May enhance the act by shaking jowls and yelling, "I'm not a crook".
This is considered very bold and is frowned upon for those with a modicum of
decorum.

Oyster
A derivation of the tea bag which is accomplished by numbing one's testicles with
ice and then inserting them in a chicks mouth and letting the tramp munch on
them.

Pasadena Mudslide
This happens when you leave a windy shit between the breasts of a woman
while you straddle her neck for a blowjob. (A close cousin to the Cleveland
Steamer.)

Pattycake
While you're nailing some girl doggie style and your friend is catching some head
off the same girl, you get a quick game of pattycake going. This makes you
reminisce of your childhood memories and eases the sight of watching your
friend blow his load.

Paying The Rent

A position in which the woman is folded in half, knees above shoulders, while the
man holds the back of her calves and bangs ferociously.
Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich
Shit on a woman's snatch during menstruation. Proceed to munch. Mmmm
Mmmm Nasty! (Crunchy or smooth...depending on what you've been eating.)

Pearl Necklace
Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl - it takes on
the look of beautiful jewelry. Fuck that diamonds are forever shit.

The Pig Roast

While you're plugging some girl's hole doggie style, (up the dirt road or the
funhole, pick your poison) she's blowing your best friend's cock at the same time,
hence simulating a pig on a spit. Very Similar to Chinese Finger Cuffs.

Pink Glove
Hate when this happens. Every so often a girl is not wet enough during sex.
When you finally pull out to give her money, the inside of her twat sticks to your
hog. Thus, the pink glove.

The Pirate's Treasure

While fucking your girl in the ass, you strike a hefty load of shit. After you've
found this buried treasure deep in her booty, you scream, "Argh!", like a pirate.

Plating
Take a clear, glass plate and place it on your partners face, then shit on it. It
gives them a nice view without all the messy cleanup. How come you don't see
that on any Dawn commercials.

The Popcorn Trick

First, take your girlfriend to the cinemas, for a nice romantic date. Buy a tub of
popcorn, wait until the lights dim, and carefully make a hole in the bottom on the
tub. Then, inconspicuously insert your penis through the bottom of the tub into
the popcorn and casually offer some to your bitch. When she digs in, she will find
nice surprise. Who doesn't love buttered popcorn?

Puerto Rican Fog Bank

While 69ing with your partner, release a cloud of sphincter fog directly into her
nostrils.
Purple Mushroom
This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in
order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar
to a purple mushroom.

Queef
A well known, but sometimes embarrassing occurrence. Queefing happens when
air gets trapped in a girls vagina, and makes a soft hissing, or farting kind of a
sound while that air is released.

The Ram
When attacking from behind, you start ramming her head against the wall in a
rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very
handy in those lulls in penile sensitivity.

Rear Admiral
An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind (while both partners
standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to anything when she is bent over.
Then, drive you hips into her backside so that you end up pushing her forwards.
The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It's almost as much fun watch her
face hit the floor. You rise to Admiral status when you can bang her around the
room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her
hips

Red Wings
Another name for navigating the moose knuckle with your tongue while
discovering the girl is on her rag. Be a real man and earn your red wings soldier!

Resuscitation
When a girl is asleep, carefully open her mouth so that she doesn't awake. Then,
squat over her face and carefully place your shit hole on her lips. When the time
is right, you let rip the biggest baddest fart ever known to man and see if it wakes
her up. Great fun during those long sleepless nights.

The Roddy Piper

When getting your girl from behind, you toss the sleeper hold on her and knock
her out ala Rowdy Roddy Piper. While nailing your unconscious victim, you get to
simulate your life long dream of necrophilia. Now you never have to break into
the morgue again.
The Rodeo
Similar to the Bronco. You start once again, banging a chick from behind. At a
pre-arranged time you grab her hair with one hand just as several buddies bust
into the room. See if you can hang on for 8 seconds cowboy. Yee Haw!

The Rose Creeper

Seductively brush a beautiful long stem red rose against your sweetheart's neck,
breasts, and inner thigh. Slowly rub the rose along her smooth skin as you
tenderly kiss her entire body. After working her into the mood for some deep love
making, unzip your fly and pull out your raging boner. Begin to punish-fuck her
dumper while whipping her with the rose and screaming nasty obscenities at her.
I bet she never saw that coming.

The Rusty Trombone

This is what happens when you've got a less then respectable female (AKA be-
yatch) tongue deep in your chute. She wiggles her tongue as she does the reach
around to pump you like a Catholic priest doing an Alter Boy, thus mimicking a
trombone player.

Sandbag
Under an assumed name in a tropical region, you meet a young hottie and
engage in the well known cliche of sex on the beach. Just before insertion,
remove the rubber (without getting caught of course), and proceed to bang away
until you blow your load, without pulling out. As you dismount and prepare for
departure, grab a handful of sand, throw it in her eyes, and run away laughing
hysterically while leaving her blinded, butt-necked, and knocked up. Especially
lots of fun when accomplished during the spring break season.

The Screwnicorn
When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her
partner like a crazed unicorn.

The Seatbelt
While one fag straddles his partners cock, he receives a blowjob from the
fruitcake on the bottom.

Shirley Temple
Pour a can of 7-Up on a girl's menstruating pussy and eat her out.
The Shocker
When you insert your index and middle fingers in the woman's vagina and pinky
in her anus. After giving her a few good minutes of double duty finger banging,
pull your fingers out and give your index and middle finger a quick sniff and pinky
a good sucking, all in one smooth motion.(a.k.a. Smoking the Pinky.)

Shop Vac
When a dirty, talented tramp stuffs you're entire package (balls and all) into her
mouth, and blows you with amazing suction power.

Shrimping
The term for licking or sucking your partner's toes.

Skiing
While facing in the same direction, a girl gets between two guys and jerks them
both off, thus imitating some hardcore cross-country action.

Slumpbuster
When a professional athlete finds the dirtiest, nastiest, fattest, most disease-
ridden skank and puts the wood to her with the intent that it will break up a
slump.

Snerd Nurgling
The act of moving your anal lovers turds about within his/her lower intestine with
your dick. Really popular with the lavender boys, hence the expression, "Oh
Lance, Nergle me you Snerd"...

Snoodling
When an uncircumcised homo pulls his extra foreskin over the cock of another
homo and proceeds to jerk him off. Those gays have way too much free time.
Can be used at as a great derogatory term as in, "You Snoodler!"

Snowball
Ah yes, every man's worst nightmare, the dreaded snowball. This happens when
a girl blows you and spits the jizz in your mouth. Another definition is when a girl
blows some other guy, and then gives you a hot sloppy kiss with some of that
guy's fresh jizz still in her mouth. With all those dirty broads out there, odds are it
has happened to you. Just ask your friends if it has, cause they probably already
know and have been laughing their asses off at you.

The Snuff
Lovingly fuck the shit out of your virgin or ragging girlfriend and wipe your bloody
member across her face. Take a couple Polaroids, show them to your friends,
and brag that you're a snuff film superstar.

Stranger
Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, giving you the feeling
of a hand job from someone else.

Stranger On The Rocks

Numbing your hand by sticking it in a bucket of ice and then jerking off. Spanken
not stirred.

Strangers In The Night

When you and your gay buddy each numb your hand (you should know how by
now) and spank each other off. Thus eliciting the feeling of a hand job from
someone else, from someone else.

Stingy Nut
When a chick isn't worth fucking; pull down her pants, bend her over, and jerk off
all over her ass.

Sud N' Fud

When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old story, "I not that kind of girl.",
"I don't fuck on the first date.", "I'm catholic.", "Stop asshole.", etc. etc... After
hearing all this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of soap. Then lather up her
armpit (or any other joint you prefer), and proceed to fuck that instead.

Surfing
This happens when you nail a fat woman. As you watch the rippling effect of her
rolls with every thrust, along with the feeling of being drenched, off balance, out
of control, and in danger, you are given the sense of riding the ultimate wave.

Swimmer's Ear
When a girl is giving you a good sucking and right before you erupt, you remove
yourself from her mouth, place your purple head in her ear, and fill her ear with
some sweet love seed. Hopefully, you will give her an infection.

Tea Bag
To perform the tea bag, have the girl lay flat on her back. Then you squat over
her with your hands on your knees, and gently dip your nut sac in and out of her
mouth in a motion similar to performing some kind of fucked up yoga exercise.

3-Eyed Turtle
Basically plug every orifice of a girl in the following manner: thumb in ass, fingers
in pussy, and dick in mouth.

The Tortoise
When you eat out someone who doesn't have pubic hair yet - i.e. you got there
before the hair (hare) did.

Tossing Salad
A common prison act where one person basically chows asshole with the help of
whatever condiments are available. (I.e. jelly, syrup, olive oil, etc.)

Tropical Wind
When getting your asshole eaten out by a worthless tramp, you break wind.

Tuna Melt
You're down on a chick lapping away and discover that it just happens to be that
time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When the whale spews
tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face.

Twisted Sister
Have your dominatrix girlfriend dress up in some hot black leather gimp wear and
proceed to handcuff your hands behind your back and then force you to your
knees. Unsuspecting, diminutive, and cradled over with your ass is in the air, she
then gives you the most erotic enema of your life. Now that's some great S&M
fun.

Vegetarian Hot Lunch

A variation of the Hot Lunch in which the diner stretches a piece of saran wrap
over her mouth such that chewing (for texture) is possible, but no actual contact
with waste product occurs.
Wake Up Call
Waking up in the middle of the night with the hard on of your life. You then turn to
your fast asleep partner and dry fuck her ass into oblivion. The clincher to
performing a wake up call is to act like nothing of the sort happened in the
morning. E.g. "Sweetheart, what's that on your back?"

The Walrus
After spunking in a girl's mouth, you pinch the center of her two lips together and
hold her nose. This will force the cum to dribble out of the sides of her mouth,
thus the teeth of the walrus.

Western Grip
When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards
you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use, hence, western.

Westside Glaze
Same as the eastside glaze, but the majority of your jizz lands on the left side of
her face.

The Woody Woodpecker

When a girl is sucking on your balls, tap your cock on her forehead.

The Zombie Mask

While getting head from your favorite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel whore, tell her
you want her to look right up at you with those pretty little eyes" when you blow
your load. Then, just when you're ready to spew a good week's worth of goo,
blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce
the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and
moaning like the walking dead.