InnerChildE Workbook10 14

Changing Our Beliefs Into Knowing...
Reprogramming theInner Childs Perspective, Renewing Our Lives

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Introduction
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Your inner childs purpose is one of safety. It learned reactions that worked to keep
you safe as a child, but does not work for you as an adult. In fact, sometimes it
sabotages our adults successes. When you learn EFT and use it, it will empower
you, meshing your inner child with your adult, and then you can finally become the
woman you were intended to be.
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EFT offers a tool in which to heal the inner child, if you were to dig into your past
without any tools, you would be re-injuring yourself, feeling the same old
feelings. Who wants to relive it over and over and again. With EFT the emotions
are dealt with, and healing begins.
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The interaction between the wounded child and the inner adult who responds with
compassion, love and acceptance assists in the healing along with EFT.
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Our mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined,
this interaction between inner child and inner adult changes the experience that
creates a new reality.
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We can change our future with affirmations, intentions and other exercises, we can
do the same by returning to the painful experience, tap through it and replace it
with loving gestures.
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Bringing into alignment the inner child and adult child can give you the best of
both worlds: the mature responsible qualities of the adult and the childs qualities
of imagination, fun-loving and sense of humor.
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Join the Closed/Secret Facebook Group, called Inner Child Group/BS/1 and share
with others that have taken this class. Please make sure you honor everyones
confidentiality in this group, it gives everyone the ability to trust in their sharing.
Opening
Sign Disclaimer Go over housekeeping
Introduce EFT Tapping Scripts/Journaling
Identifying your Adult Self Connecting with your Higher Power
Exploring your past The Infant Self
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1 of 27 Total Life Solutions, LLC
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DISCLAIMER: Healing Your Inner Child Workshop is offered as a support. It is not a
substitute for Psychological Treatment or any other service that is necessary to your health and
well-being. The information presented in this workshop is intended as general information for
educational purposes only. We strongly encourage you to discuss modifications in your diet,
lifestyle, exercise program, nutrition, or use of Meridian Tapping with a qualified health care
provider prior to making any changes. By participating in this workshop, you understand that
Meridian Tapping is experimental and that you must take complete responsibility for your use
of it. You agree to assume and accept full responsibility for any and all risks associated with
The Healing Your Inner Child Workshop. You understand that your choice to use theses
techniques is of your own free will and not subject to any outside pressure. You further
understand that if you choose to use Meridian Tapping, it is possible that emotional or physical
sensations or additional unresolved memories may surface which could be perceived as
negative side effects. The information contained in this Healing Your Inner Child Workshop is
not used to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or psychological disorder.
Consequently, Meridian Tapping does not replace health care from medical/psychological
professionals or treatment for the addictive disease such as alcoholism and/or drug addiction.
You agree to consult with your health care provider for any specific medical/psychological
problems. In addition, you understand that any information contained in the program is not to
be considered a recommendation that you stop seeing any of your health care professionals or
using prescribed medication, if any, without consulting with your health care professional, even
if after The Healing Your Inner Child Workshop, it appears and indicates that such medication,
treatment or therapy is unnecessary. Any stories or testimonials presented in this workshop does
not constitute a warranty, guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual using
Meridian Tapping for any particular issue. While all materials and references to other resources
are given in good faith, the accuracy, validity, effectiveness, completeness, or usefulness of any
information in this workshop cannot be guaranteed. Betsy Rosam, M.S., or Total Life Solutions,
LLC. accepts no responsibility or liability whatsoever for the use or misuse of the information
contained in this workshop. By signing up for this workshop you knowingly, voluntarily, and
intelligently assume these risks, including any adverse outcome that might result from
participating in this Healing Your Inner Child Workshop and agree to release, indemnify, hold
harmless and defend Betsy Rosam, M.S. and her respective heirs, agents, consultants, and
employees from and against any and all claims which you, or your representatives, may have
for any loss, damage, or injury of any kind or nature arising out of or in connection with this
Healing Your Inner Child Workshop. If any court of law rules that any part of this Disclaimer is
invalid, the Disclaimer stands as if those parts were struck out.
By purchasing and participating in this Healing Your Inner Child Workshop, you are
agreeing to the above statements.
Date: ____________ Signature:__________________________________________________

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The laughter of a child is the light of a house.
African (Swahili) Proverbworkshop

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Suggestions for class:
Get comfortable No distractions

Journal Tap 2-3 times each day
Drink plenty of water Do your best
Sign up for private sessions Seek professional help
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Even Though I feel ________, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
The cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the bodys energy system.
Gary Craig, Emotional Freedom Technique
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EFT is an energy psychology that you "tap" on meridian/acupuncture points,
shifting energy and creating emotional relief. It can be used for stress reduction,
anxiety, pain relief, phobias, cravings, and allergies EFT is easy to use anywhere
and any time. It is important to get in touch with your feelings while saying your
script, this is how the energy shifts.
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Total Life Solutions, LLC - Rev. Betsy Rosam, M.S.
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Tapping Scripts
Write down any issues come up during this process, rate them in the box 1-10, 10
being the highest anxiety, 1 being lowest. Rate again after Tapping. While you are
tapping, notice how you are feeling, physically and emotionally, get it out. The
more into your feelings of anxiety, anger, blame, hurt, fear, etc. the better the EFT
will work. While you are doing EFT, if you need to scream, yell, cry, or whatever,
do it, as it helps with the release. Use these Tapping Scripts pages for all the
issues that come up during this workshop. Keeping them all in one place, will give
you a list to tap on.
Lets tap. Set up phrase: Even though...
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... I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

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Lets tap. Set up phrase: Even though
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Identifying your Adult Self
Since your Adult Self is the one that will be consoling and re-parenting your
inner child, it is important to identify those qualities. Below is a checklist of
qualities of Ideal Adults. Rate them #1 being rarely and #5 most of the time. Do
not use this list to judge yourself, but rather to access where you need to do some
work. These will become tapping scripts for you to work on.
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____ I am my true, authentic self (dont wear masks)
____ I am genuine and sincere
____ I am spontaneous
____ I am giving
____ I am loving
____ I am an effective communicator
____ I am accepting of self and others
____ I am compassionate
____ I am love unconditionally
____ I feel feelings, regardless of what kind they are
____ I am assertive
____ I am intuitive
____ I am fun loving
____ I have a good sense of humor (not sarcastic)
____ I am playful
____ I am vulnerable
____ I am powerful in true sense
____ I am trusting
____ I enjoy being nurtured
____ I surrender control (let go)
____ I am self indulgent
____ I am open minded
____ I feel like I belong
____ I am free to grow
____ I respect my own privacy
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The qualities above that are lower will be the ones that youll be tapping to. Write
them in the section labeled Tapping Scripts.
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Homework: Continue to do EFT with the above aspects and write down any that
surface that are not written above and tap on them.

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The Infant
Infancy is the period of time between conception and 2 years of age. This is the
where learning about nurturing, safety and trust takes place. Your mother or mother
figure is one in which you were to bond with and learn about these during this
time. The importance of this bonding is paramount to the degree of emotional
connection with other human beings. From this you learned about separation and
independence. You cannot separate from someone you never attached to. So if this
bonding was not strong or did not occur, who will not have balance in these areas.
You will either not trust, or over trust. You will not feel safe or will be a high risk
taker. You will not be a nurturer or become an over affectionate, needy person.
Well be discovering how this stage affected you.
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Possible issues from this infancy stage include:
*Fear of intimacy
*Fear of abandonment
*Needing
*Fear of physical affection
*Continuous oral indulgence (eating, smoking, drinking)
*Fear of needs not being met
*Inability to trust
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The Infant
Rate the following statements: O=Often S=Sometimes R=Rarely
(These will become your tapping scripts)
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Trust
___I do not trust myself to take care of my needs
___Most of the time I dont know what my needs are
___I try to take care of my needs myself because I cannot trust others to meet
my needs
___I feel ashamed and afraid others will laugh or ignore me when I show them
how needy I really feel.
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Safety
___Closeness to others is scary for me
___The world feels like a dangerous and frightful place
___I feel a general sense of fear or impatience
___I feel I am not entitled to expect others to meet my needs

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Nurturing
___I fear physical contact with others
___It is not easy for me to give attention to others
___Its challenging for me to recognize and respond to my own needs,
desires, and achievements
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The issues above that you labeled Often will be the ones that youll be tapping
to. Write them in the section labeled Tapping Scripts. You will probably like to
muscle test each item from the checklist to determine if this has been
programmed into your subconscious. If it muscle tests strong, then its an issue on
the subconscious level
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The Toddler
The toddler years are between the ages of 2 and 3 years old. During this stage we
begin using the verbal skills to protest and refuse our caretaker . Because we learn
to walk during this stage, we develop the capacity to walk away from them as well.
This is when the shift from reliance to self-sufficiency begins. This practice
continues throughout our lives, but learning how to create and retain personal
boundaries early is essential to successfully creating a sense of self. Boundaries are
limits that we create to identify for ourselves what are reasonable, safe and
permissible ways for others to behave around us. Boundaries identify us as
individuals, outlining our likes and dislikes, and setting the perimeters of every
relationship.
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Creating and sustaining your boundaries make you feel like you have a right to be
here and to expect privacy and consideration. If, as a child, your boundaries were
constantly violated, then you will either have weak boundaries, or you will have
strict boundaries. It also may be challenging for you to honor others boundaries.
Enmeshment is when there is no clearly defined boundaries between you and
others. You dont know where you end and others begin, and you have difficulty
separating your feelings and others feelings. Without boundaries, it is difficult to
separate whats right and wrong, as well as good from bad. To become
independent, a child needs to feel safe enough to be both dependent and separate.
Most parents, even in families that arent dysfunctional, have a difficult time

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letting go of control with their kids. Smothering is just as problematic as the
no rules(no boundaries) type of parenting, balancing both dependence and
autonomy is the ideal, but also very difficult to balance, even for the best of
parents. The first step in healing this stage is to identify the discomfort you carried
into your adult life from this stage of development.
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Possible issues from this toddler developmental stage include:
* Fear of rejection causes you the inability to say no to friends
*Fearing you might get fired causes your inability to set limits with your
employer
*The fear of shame and rejection is so strong you have difficulty stating how
you feel
*When someone tries to get too close, you feel smothered
*Feeling inadequate if a friend is upset and you cannot make them feel better
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The Toddler
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Boundaries
___If someone gets too close, I feel smothered
___I presume I have done something wrong when my partner or room mate
comes home angry
___I presume others will think less of me and I feel embarrassed, if I am with
someone who makes a scene in public
___If someone I care about gets too needy and wants me to fill their needs, I
feel panicky
___I feel inadequate if I cannot do something to cheer my friend when they
call feeling low
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Respecting The Boundaries of Others
___If I ask a friend to go somewhere with me, even though I am told no, I
attempt to talk my friend into it
___If I am seeking therapy, and my therapist wont speak to one more
problem, even though my time is up, I still feel offended
___I make assumptions when my roommate has said they do not want me to
borrow a certain item, thinking that once is alright
___I feel resentful when I ask someone to do something for me and I am
refused

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Saying No
___I feel guilty when I say no to someone
___I realize its hard for me to say no
___I want to be liked, so I do not say no to close friends
___When I do say no, I say it sharply because I am afraid of rejection
___I tend to agree with whatever friends suggest that we do when making
plans
When Others Say No

___I feel ashamed that I even asked someone to do something for me when I
am told no
___I do not want to feel rejected if friends say no, so I do not ask them to do
favors for me
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___I am afraid I might get fired or my boss might say no, so I dont assert
myself at work
___I do not state my needs to my partner. I would be too embarrassed if the
response wasnt positive
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The Preschooler
The Preschooler Inner Child developmental stage is between the ages of 3 and six.
During this time is when you developed how you feel about yourself and your
body. You also developed how you handle and value the positive and negative
qualities in yourself and others. These are all related to how you experienced these
issues during this time. This period of time is when you learned about good
behavior and bad behavior and the consequences for each. You were either
rewarded for good behavior, or punished for bad behavior. During this time, if you

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were told you were good mostly and occasionally did bad things, youre self-worth
was generally good. This is why its important for parents to recognize that the
childs behavior was inappropriate and not the child itself. This is about guilt
versus shame. Guilt is about what weve done and easy to remedy, shame is about
who we are, and shows up in all we do. If you were constantly told how bad you
were, your self-esteem grew to be pretty worthless. You might have grown up
fearful about making mistakes, as each mistake confirmed the low self-esteem you
already felt. You probably either became a perfectionist, did not even try at all, or
vacillate between the two.
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This shameful self-worth does not believe that they are worthy of love, then fear
sets into the shame, fearing that you will be abandoned because you are unlovable.
This relates to relationships with others; how you reacted and responded to your
parents is how you relate to others. During this time you learned what you need to
do to get your needs met. Many of your negative messages you give yourself as an
adult were created during this time, as well as feelings of shame, perfectionism,
critical feelings of yourself and others, and black and white thinking. Lets look at
what youve carried from this stage with you that doesnt work for you anymore.
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Possible issues from this young inner child developmental stage include:
*Being highly critical of yourself, full of shame

*Being a perfectionist
*Having no tolerance for anothers behavior
*Black and white thinking
*Feeling awkward about your body
*Using sex as the only way to feel close
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The Preschooler
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Shame
___I think its my fault when something goes wrong at work
___If a sales person is disrespectful to me, I think its my fault
___I feel angry and humiliated if I offer to help someone and they refuse it
___I think it is arrogant to say good things about myself

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Black and White Thinking
___When someone is late, I do not agree to meet with them ever again
___When trying a new activity, I make a mistake, I never participate in that
activity again
___If I ask someone to help me and they say no, I never ask again
___I either really like or really dislike people when I first meet them
Self-Criticism
___I concentrate on what I do not like about myself
___My inner conversation is made up of self-criticism
___If I do something incorrectly, I obsess about that error and overlook any of
my successes for that day
___I spend a lot of time obsessing about what others think of me
Criticism of Others
___I am extremely critical of others
___I dislike others that are too fat or too skinny
___I have difficulty tolerating the imperfections of my friends
___If Im at an event, I feel safer if I feel that I look better than others
Excessively Responsible
___I believe if I dont do it, no one will
___I am afraid something will go wrong and I will be at fault
___If I let someone else be in charge, I cannot relax and let go
___People do not do things the way I want things done, so it is easier to do
things myself than to ask someone else to
___I am extremely vigilant about things; making sure the door s are locked,
and the appliances are unplugged. I take safety to the extreme
Curiosity
___I dont have patience when others ask unrelated questions
___I avoid asking other people about their personal live
___I lose interest if I dont understand how to do something right away
___I am afraid others will think I am stupid when I ask about something I
dont understand
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Sexuality and Body Image
___I wear loose clothing so my body is not so visible
___I focus on what I want to change about my body when I look in the mirror
___I do not know any other way to feel close to someone without having sex
with them
___When I am feeling angry or sad and dont want to feel those feelings, I
have sex
___I believe masturbation is dirty and sick
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The Grade School Child
This stage of development occurs between the ages of 6 and 12. During this time,
peers and their approval is very important, as it is the time when you mastered
social skills versus physical or psychological skills. Besides peer approval and
interactions, establishing relationships with other adults, outside of family was
important during this time. Throughout this time, the amount of self-confidence or
self-consciousness you feel around social events was established. It was important
to your development to feel like you fit in, that you were accepted. Of other
importance is the ability to complete tasks and assignments; you learned these
skills from your parents. If it was important to complete homework and chores in
your home, then you learned these. If, during this time, the family had a crisis of
any sort, then you were focused on the family problem and did not have time to
develop these skills. Because of this there was no order, as the family was not
focused on the importance of getting things done, but on finding solutions to their
crisis, or even just surviving the crises.
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If there was a thought or a belief in your family that you were not to surpass either
of your parents in regard to your success, the child within you might be self-
sabotaging any successes in the area of career or finances. As a child, you need to
believe that your parents are all knowing, so that you would feel safe in the world,
and if you were to achieve more than them, feelings of disloyalty would arise. You

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can surpass your parents and become your ideal self, only when you give up the
illusion that they know what is best for you. Most parents want their kids to
surpass them and become successful, but their need to be needed is strong and
often interferes with your success. You can change this self-sabotaging behavior by
allowing the Adult within you to take over the parenting job of your parents. This
allows you to know whats best for you.
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Possible issues from this grade school child developmental stage include:
*Feeling insecure at social events
*Not finishing things you start
*Inability to achieve professional goals
*Staying in debt, never achieving economic stability
*Fear of speaking in public
The Grade School Child

Self-Discipline and Task Completion

___I feel lazy when it comes to getting things done and consider myself a
procrastinator
___I fear that I do not have the self-discipline to succeed in owning and
running my own business
___My inability to meet deadlines has sabotaged progress in my career
___Promising to take care of things and not following through has created
problems in my relationships
Socialization
___I am more at ease by myself than with a group of friends
___I feel self-conscious about joining organizations, so I dont
___I feel out of place at social events
___Even though I feel close in the groups I have involved myself in, I do not
feel like I fit in
Peer Acceptance
___I feel left out of the activities of others
___I believe Im not accepted by most of my peers
___I sense criticism by most people my age, as well as those in my work
___I think I have little in common with people my own age, or those in my
occupation

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Speaking in Public
___I get anxious with sweaty palms, rapid heartbeat, and/or cracking of voice
whenever I have to speak publicly
___I am incapable of speaking without warning in front of others, so I prepare
exactly what I want to say ahead of time
___I will not speak up in public because Im not sure what to say, even if I
have a strong opinion about a topic
___When I speak publicly, I do not feel nervous, but I do seem to be detached
from my self and others. I am not aware of anyone else in the room
___I avoid particular professional occupations because I would have to speak
publicly
Competing Physically
___I feel awkward taking part in any sport
___I fear being picked last in team sports
___I decline to get involved in any physical activity where I feel self-
conscious
___I love to dance, but only do it in my own home where its private
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The Young Teen
This stage of development occurs between the ages of 12 and 15. During this time
of life you became comfortable with the clumsiness of your developing self. Your
physical growth and development has super-ceded your mental and emotional
growth and development. For most teens, this is a time of acne, baby fat, voices
that crack, and growth that takes on a life of its own. You may have grown 6
inches taller over the summer and were clumsy because you had not gotten use to
your new self. You have either learned to adapt to your peers influence or have
become even more insecure. Discomfort with sexual attraction you felt for others,
your struggle with social awkwardness and isolation, became key issues during

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this time. It is a time when we are most self-conscious physically, yet are willing to
take emotional risks, especially to fit in with our peers. To deal with this
awkwardness you either acted disinterested, or giggled a lot. You may have
become more isolated during this age if you were unsure of your sexuality. Many
teens started using drugs during this age to help them deal with insecurities, painful
experiences, or just to fit in with their peers. Using drugs or alcohol during this
time did not help you to move through this stage, they enabled you to stay stuck.
This is also a time where incest or sexual abuse may have occurred; healing this
violated part of yourself will help you to learn how to set limits and feel safe.
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If you uncover any memories or thoughts of being an Incest/sexual abuse
Survivor, PLEASE call me during the week, and/or get in touch with your
therapist. This stuff can be really tough to go through by yourself, dont go
there ALONE
NOTE to women: If you feel uneasy answering the questions about incest,
then you need to explore some possibilities. We live in a society that exploits
women sexually, emotionally, and physically. Whether you are an incest survivor
or not, you could have been a victim of sexual harassment or assault. It is
important to identify this, as this workshop is only the beginning of healing this
sort of experience. As I said earlier, you need to get additional help, if you havent
yet gotten help with them.
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Possible issues that result from this developmental stage include:
Being sexually repressed or shy
Feeling socially awkward
Extremely needy for approval from others
Use of destructive behavior or substances to deal with the anxieties of life
Feeling extremely uncomfortable about physical appearance
The Young Teen

Social Awkwardness
___I feel so nervous and have difficulty going to social events alone
___Im not sure what to say when I run into a friend suddenly
___I feel too shy to talk to new people, so when I go to an event, I tend to stay
fairly close to the person I came with
___I feel self conscious and awkward in public, as if people are watching me

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Sexual and Physical Awkwardness
___I am sexually repressed
___I am more comfortable with the lights off when I am having sex
___I think I am clumsy and not physically fit
___I feel embarrassed with my body; it is too fat, too thin, too short, too long,
too unusual
___When I am around someone I have an attraction to I feel uncomfortable
Needing Approval from Others

___With the decisions I make I need anothers opinion
___If someone criticizes something I am wearing, even though I like it, I will
not wear it
___I notice the one person who appears to not like me when I am in a group
___I think its difficult to trust my own judgments, so I depend on those
closest to me to decide whats appropriate and necessary
Addictive Behavior and Dependency on Alcohol or Drugs

___I smoke, take drugs, or drink too much alcohol
___I put something in my mouth, like food, drugs or cigarettes whenever I am
nervous
___I behave in ways that result in negative consequences, when I get difficult
to cope with news
___I submerge myself in my work when life gets hard
___When I am troubled, sex is the only thing that helps. It doesnt matter with
whom, I just need that release
___I look for relief with alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, shopping, gambling, etc.
when I feel panic
___I involve myself in negative activities that have serious consequences on
my finances, relationships, or health
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NOTE: This next session is extremely sensitive. If you find you have strong
emotions after tapping, please seek help from a therapist. It is important for you to
take complete responsibility for yourself, as agreed to when you signed up for this
class.
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Symptoms of an Incest Survivor
___Sex is disgusting to me
___I feel a sense of approaching trouble
___I dont know why particular smells scares me
___I have frightening dreams about large monsters surrounding me
___Sometimes I have an panic attack for no reason at all
___I have had a record of urinary tract infections
___I am anxious about my child being sexually abused
___I feel claustrophobic and nauseous when people cover my face or get too
close
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You may have these symptoms and not have any memory of a situation, and thats
ok, as your subconscious is protecting you. You do NOT have to remember to
heal from a trauma. Merely tapping on any of these statements above will help to
relieve any anxiety. Also, some private one on one Psych-K sessions would be
beneficial whether you remember or not.
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The Adolescent
This stage of development occurs between the ages of 15 and 17. Issues developed
during this time in your life have to do with the extent of rebellion your feel inside
yourself or others, how safe you feel with who you are, and how content you feel
in an intimate relationship. Peer acceptance became more important than parental
acceptance and we became more separate from our parents, yet still dependent on
their safety. This stage is comparable to the toddler stage in that we again learn to
say no. When our adult self has trouble saying no, then this adolescent rebels with
quick judgments, power struggles, and argumentative or passive aggressive
behavior . This will continue until our adult self is able to set limits and say no. If
you feel angry, resentful, or judgmental about anothers behavior, it is often
because you feel your sense of identity is being violated and a limit needs to be set.

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If your adult self doesnt set limits, your adolescent child within will rebel.
Sometimes this inner child sabotages changes if it fears that the change will be too
different and that the adult self wont be able to set limits within the change. This
is why we sometimes sabotage diets, exercise routines or other significant changes;
our adolescent within doesnt trust that our adult self will be able to set the
appropriate limits within the change. We may rebel against our significant others or
even ourselves. (ie: if Im on a diet, I might just decide that Im not giving up xxx).
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*Failure to stand up for yourself
*Feeling trapped in an active or passive state of rebellion
*Being extremely critical and controlling of others activities
*Being so afraid to excel that you never learn what you truly like or what
youre good at doing
*Overly connected in a significant others life because they are an
extension of you
The Adolescent
Standing Up For Yourself

___I am incapable of standing up for myself when someone is controlling with
me
___I will keep my opinion to myself when I disagree with my therapist and/or
doctor
___I feel uncomfortable pointing out a mistake that my bank/accountant
makes
___I have difficulty confronting close friends when they are offensively
critical of me
Trapped in an Active State of Rebellion

___I reacted with anger when my employers asked me to do something I did
not want to do, resulting in job losses
___When I am driving and someone cuts me off, I use intimidation by
tailgating or yelling profanities
___I retaliate in an abusive way when my significant other acts in a way I do
not like
___If I am losing a disagreement, I refuse to talk about the matter any further
as I rage out of the room

!
Trapped in a Passive State of Rebellion
___If my significant other behaves in ways I do not like, I will get even by
spending money, not coming home, or secretly going out with someone
else
___When I am involved in a conversation thats not headed in the direction Id
like it to, I will lose interest and pretend I am listening when I am actually
thinking about something else
___When my employer asks me to do something I dont want to do, I will
agree then and either forget it or neglect to do it
___While driving, if someone behind me flashes their lights signifying they
want me to move out of the fast lane, I ignore them and go even slower, so
that they are required to go around me
Projecting Your Critic Onto Others

___I do not like the way my significant other runs their life
___I get upset at my significant other when faced with my behavior
___I like things done a particular way, and I hate it when my significant other
does them another way
___I am very worried with what my significant other wears in public
Defining Yourself
___I see eye to eye with the political ideals of those closest to me in my life
___If a close friend disapproves of someone, I do too
___There is nothing about me that stands out, so you would not notice me in a
crowd
___I want to be like everyone else and fit in, so I buy garments that are the
most up to date even if I do not like the styles
!
!
!
!
!
The Young Adult
This stage of development occurs between the ages of 17-21, it is a time
when you were beginning to be treated as an adult. Learning how to manage your
time, how to be responsible, learning how to support yourself, and how to relate
more maturely with others were issues you dealt with during this stage of
development. During this time of life we went to college, started careers,
marriages, or floundered trying to find our way. Some young adults avoided this
transition due to addictions. During this time, your same sex parent had the biggest
influence on you, and if you had a great relationship with them, you modeled their
behavior. If you did not have a good relationship with them, you were ambivalent
and did everything in your power to be different from that same sex parent.
Societal models became important as well, who we modeled ourselves after; we
may have had same sex mentors. Some questions you might ask yourself: What did
I learn from society(media, school, peers) about becoming an adult? Was your
move away from home difficult? Did you feel your family was will to see you
become independent and a respected adult? How well did each of your family
members respond to your move? When someone moves out of a family, the family
changes and your parents may have unconsciously sabotaged the childs efforts to
move out. All family members go through a transition when someone moves out.
You needed parents who helped you to learn to be responsible, make plans for your
future, and supported your independent decisions. You also needed the to listen
without judgment and to respond only when asked. Women had a more difficult
time in the past to transition out on their own, as society had changed drastically;
most young women went from depending on parents to depending on a husband. It
was more fearful for women to move out, society had been more risky for women;
statistics of domestic violence, sexual abuse and rape were higher for women. In
the past women were taught to be more emotionally independent and physically
dependent, to what extent you were taught is relative to your dependency issues
regarding financial security, as well as emotional security.
!
*Failure to keep a job
*Disappointment with career
*Inability to pay bills, awful credit reports
*Restrictive interactions with opposite sex
*Constant conflicts about household chores with others

!
The Young Adult
Supporting Yourself
___I am negligent in paying monthly bills in a timely manner
___I depend on others for financial support, they pay my rent, utilities, and
food
___I am not responsible for preparing my meals, cleaning my home, and doing
my laundry
Degree of Responsibility
___I dont pay traffic violations on time when I get them

___When I cant keep a scheduled time, I dont show up instead of calling to
cancel
___Even though I agree, when someone asks me to do something, I do not
follow through
___I stay quiet and hope the owner doesnt notice when I break something that
doesnt belong to me
Career Fulfillment
___I fail at interactions with my co-workers
___I am unhappy with where I am in my career
___I feel uninterested to work at certificates and or degrees that I need for my
career
___I dont pick jobs that completely display my professional qualifications or
skills
Gender Encouraged Values

___I think men have more physical stamina than women
___I think that a man should earn more money than a woman
___I think the wife must be the mainly responsible for the kids
___I think women are happier if they stay at home taking care of their home
___I think men are more qualified to have careers outside the home than
women
___I think men cannot raise a child as successfully as a woman, no matter how
persistent they are
___I disagree with my significant other about how our home should be cleaned

!
!
!
Closing Comments:
!
In completing this self-paced workshop, you have done much work, but you have
only just begun. Continue to go through the checklists and tap on any issues that
arise for you. Your habits and behaviors will begin to change, almost automatically,
because your subconscious released and let go of the limiting beliefs from your
childhood. You are on the road to living your best life!
!
!
!

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Changing Our Beliefs Into Knowing...

Reprogramming theInner Childs Perspective, Renewing Our Lives

Date: ____________ Signature:__________________________________________________

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Get comfortable No distractions

Lets tap. Set up phrase: Even though...

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When Others Say No

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*Being highly critical of yourself, full of shame

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The Grade School Child

Self-Discipline and Task Completion

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The Young Teen

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Needing Approval from Others

Addictive Behavior and Dependency on Alcohol or Drugs

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Standing Up For Yourself

Trapped in an Active State of Rebellion

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Projecting Your Critic Onto Others

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___I dont pay traffic violations on time when I get them

Gender Encouraged Values

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Date: Signature:______________________________________