THE OVERCOME ANXIETY COURSE

At some point in our lives, we all have a debilitating anxiety that is holding us back.

The Overcome Anxiety Course is a simple applicable process to help you work through your
fears and start getting results quickly.

In this course youll learn about the origins of anxiety, your defense mechanisms, applying
progressive desensitization and other strategies to help you cope with insecurities.

Lesson 1: Introduction
Lesson 2: Understanding Anxiety
Lesson 3: The Root Of Your Anxiety
Lesson 4: Defense Mechanisms
Lesson 5: Progressive Desensitization
Lesson 6: Finding Something More Important
Lesson 7: The Art Of Doing Something
Lesson 8: The Results
 LESSON 1: INTRODUCTION
[VIDEO LESSON 1]

Welcome to the Overcome Anxiety Course, the course that is, obviously, about helping you
learn how to overcome fears and anxieties that may be permeating your life.

First, lets talk about what this course is not:

This is not a motivational course. Overcoming anxiety sucks, and being real about that
suckage is ultimately what is going to lead to your success.
This course is not about eliminating anxiety, as this is something that is not simple or
sometimes, even possible. This course is about overcoming anxiety, meaning feeling
the anxiety but recognizing something else is more important.
This course is not made up of harebrained theories. Its based on tried and true
therapeutic methods backed up by decades of scientific research.

In the beginning of the course, well be looking at gaining a deep understanding of anxiety in
general, as well as our own particular anxieties. The fact is that dealing with our fears and
insecurities requires a deep understanding of ourselves and looking at our own beliefs and
shortcomings.

The second part of the course will look at the psychological practices that are most popularly
used to treat anxiety in patients and how we can adapt these methods for you to use at home
and through this website.

And finally, the end of the course will be about taking action against your anxieties to help
you overcome them once and for all.

Each lesson is divided up into a video explanation, and then a written exercise.

Some lessons will require you to do an exercise out in the real world. I just ask that you be
honest in completing them.

A note about the exercises: In a previous version of this course, written exercises were posted
to a forum and some of the exercises involved commenting on other peoples written
responses. You can ignore this part of the exercises now, or do the exercises with someone
you know.

EXERCISE:

Choose a single anxiety to focus on in this course. And choose an actionable goal to achieve
by the end of the course.

NOTE: The written exercise mentioned in the video was part of the old course the video was
recorded for. You can either ignore the written exercises or do them on your own.
 LESSON 2: UNDERSTANDING ANXIETY
[VIDEO LESSON 2]

Anxiety exists for a reason. Its part of our fight-or-flight response.

As we go throughout our lives, whenever a specific situation causes us a certain degree of

pain, our body remembers it and then alerts us in the future as to when were likely to feel that
pain again. This is where anxiety comes from.

Not all anxiety is bad. Anxiety alerts us, primes us for action in many cases, helps us avoid
painful events or failures. But sometimes, anxiety is debilitating and can hold us back.

Studies find that people who are confident or who perform well under pressure still get
anxious. They still register similar signals in their body, their adrenaline still pumps. Whats
different is their perception of their ability to accomplish what they need to accomplish.

The difference between someone who is a good public speaker and someone who is a horrible
public speaker is that the good one believes that they will succeed whereas the person who
gets nervous and chokes believes they will not.

Therefore, the key is not to remove our anxiety, but rather to change our perception of our
ability to perform and what it means.

If youre nervous about talking to someone new, its not about getting over the
nervousness, but rather feeling more confident in your social skills and also in what
rejection signifies.
If youre nervous about giving presentations at work, its not about getting over the
nervousness, but feeling confident in the material and what the presentation says about
you as a person.

Unfortunately, we cant just install new beliefs in ourselves. It takes work and action.

Meaning is created through behavior, and in order to reorient what makes us anxious, we must
practice new behaviors.

EXERCISE:

Take a moment to think about what beliefs and perceptions trigger your anxiety. How do these
beliefs and perceptions hold you back and make you more anxious?

NOTE: The written exercise mentioned in the video was part of the old course the video was
recorded for. You can either ignore the written exercises or do them on your own.
 LESSON 3: THE ROOT OF YOUR ANXIETY
[VIDEO LESSON 3]

Most debilitating anxiety is generated through shame. Not only do we develop a pain
association, but we hold the perception that were inadequate or incapable. This shame causes
us to develop all sorts of unhelpful beliefs and perceptions.

Remember last lesson that I mentioned that the difference between being invigorated in an
anxious situation and being crippled in an anxious situation is our perception of our own ability
to overcome the challenge.

Shame is a double-whammy in that it instills the associative fear as well as the perception that
were somehow incapable of living up to that fear.

Being teased growing up generates social anxiety AND the perception that people will
not like us.
Failing in school due to a learning disability creates the anxiety around intellectual
pursuits AND the perception that were somehow stupid or incapable.
Growing up with a physical problem can create self-image problems AND the
perception that were not beautiful/attractive even though we may be.

Everyone experiences anxiety throughout their lives. We all get anxious when we meet new
people we find interesting or attractive. We all get nervous when we present to a group. We
are all afraid to put ourselves in situations where weve been harmed in the past.

But one of the biggest differences between people who persevere versus people who fail is
that those who fail buy into the ideas that hurt them in the first place that they are not good
enough, that they are inherently worthless, hopeless and that they will always fail.

But there is no lost cause. The brain is capable of rewiring itself. Everybody is adaptable to a
certain degree. And while we may never be perfect, we can always improve our current state.

EXERCISE:

What experience(s) led to your anxiety? What beliefs did you buy into as a result?

NOTE: The written exercise mentioned in the video was part of the old course the video was
recorded for. You can either ignore the written exercises or do them on your own.
 LESSON 4: DEFENSE MECHANISMS
[VIDEO LESSON 4]

Defense mechanisms are thought patterns or behavioral patterns we use in order to avoid
whatever causes us a lot of anxiety.

I classify four common categories of defense mechanisms:

Procrastination We are all familiar with procrastination. It occurs when we are

avoiding or putting off something we know will be unpleasant. Since going through
with behaviors that cause us anxiety are unpleasant, we often procrastinate on them.
Intellectualization The smarter you are, and the more studious you were in school, the
more this one likely affects you. Intellectualization is when you take an emotional
problem or pain point, and try to solve it logically. The danger of intellectualization is
that it can give you the feeling that youre making progress, when actually youre not.
In fact, rampant intellectualization can often cause more stress and anxiety because it
takes a simple behavior (approaching a woman) and suddenly makes it extremely
complicated (approach from this angle, say this, look at her like this, smile like this,
etc.)
Blame/Anger When confronted with something that makes them anxious or afraid,
many men react with anger or blame. They try to displace their fear onto someone else
so that they will no longer have to accept responsibility for it. For instance, theyll
declare that a woman who wasnt interested in them was a bitch or make broad
stereotypes about certain types of people. This is pure insecurity.
Apathy The most dangerous of the defense mechanisms. Apathy makes you feel like
you dont care about what makes you nervous, therefore theres no point doing it. You
may spend weeks or months obsessing about meeting women, but when you finally get
out to a party or event and have a chance to meet some, you decide that you dont care
much, that youre too tired, etc.

Defense mechanisms can be simple and superficial or large and abstract.

When a certain defense mechanisms is utilized enough times, it will eventually form a
permanent belief. Some of our most closely-held beliefs (all rich people are selfish, men are
pigs, mom and dad hate me) are really just longheld defense mechanisms.

The longer we hold a belief, the harder it is to question it or remove it.

The link mentioned in the video:

Summary of Psychological Defense Mechanisms

EXERCISE:

Write down all of the explanations you give yourself for not doing what youre anxious about.
Then go through and categorize each of the excuses as a specific defense mechanism. What
can you do to overcome them?
For the second part of the exercise, think about other people in your life and which defense
mechanisms they have. Can you recognize any defense mechanisms, and do you think their
defense mechanisms make sense?

It is generally easier to see through other peoples defense mechanisms, but our own defense
mechanisms make just as much (little) sense.

NOTE: The written exercise mentioned in the video was part of the old course the video was
recorded for. You can either ignore the written exercises or do them on your own.
 LESSON 5: PROGRESSIVE DESENSITIZATION
[VIDEO LESSON 4]

One misconception about anxiety is that you have to go out and commit some massive action
that conquers it once and for all.

This is often referred to as the flooding technique and research shows that its rarely effective
over the long-term.

What IS effective over the long-term is something referred to as progressive desensitization.

Its used in everything from PTSD to anxiety disorders to just run of the mill insecurities and
fears.

The key to progressive desensitization is to break up your anxiety into manageable chunks and
repeat each chunk until it becomes relatively comfortable.

EXERCISE:

Break down your anxiety into manageable chunks. The first chunk should be something that
you feel you are capable of doing TODAY if you had to.

NOTE: The written exercise mentioned in the video was part of the old course the video was
recorded for. You can either ignore the written exercises or do them on your own.
 LESSON 6: FINDING SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT
[VIDEO LESSON 6]

Take a moment and think about your anxiety and what you wish was true to resolve it?

if you have social anxiety and are nervous about meeting new people, you may think to
yourself, If I was over my social anxiety, I would be the coolest guy in the room, everyone
would love talking to me.

This is incorrect.

Its the same insecurity, just in nicer packaging. Youre simply replacing the worry that
nobody will like you with the hope that everybody will love you. Its the exact same thought,
the exact same value. Even if it becomes true, nothing will change.

No, the correct answer is this:

Whether people like me or not, at least I will have shared myself with them.

Sounds a little abstract and hokey, but its true.

Often, what we envision as the solutions to our anxiety problems are simply our problems
restated in a different way.

Overcoming anxiety is used for a particular reason. This is not about eliminating anxiety or
getting rid of anxiety or changing anxiety, its about feeling our anxiety but choosing
something more important. Its about overcoming our anxiety.

Our anxieties are usually based on something external: performing well, people liking us,
making money, proving ourselves to others, being the first or best or greatest, and so on.

Its generally more important to value something internal over these external anxieties. Its the
old, Its not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game precept. This applies to
life as well. If youre anxious about making money, find something that you value more than
making money and focus on that. If you are anxious about people liking you, find something
you value more than people liking you and focus on that.

EXERCISE:

Sit down and write out the wrong solution to your anxiety. And then come up with a right
solution something internal that you can value more than the success/failure of what makes
you anxious.

NOTE: The written exercise mentioned in the video was part of the old course the video was
recorded for. You can either ignore the written exercises or do them on your own.
 LESSON 7: THE ART OF DOING SOMETHING
[VIDEO LESSON 7]

One of the keys to overcoming our anxieties is to set ourselves up for inevitable success. The
key to doing this is to plan ahead a little bit and arrange our lives so that were put in a position
to succeed. Its easy to chicken out over and over again when you sit at your computer all day.
But if you arrange your life in such a way that success can become inevitable, then it becomes
much easier to fight through the barriers of anxiety.

There are two primary ways we can do this:

1. Accountability
2. Minimum Viable Action

ACCOUNTABILITY

Accountability means that you find a way to keep yourself accountable to your goals. This can
be as simple as having a friend, family member or therapist aware of what youre trying to
accomplish and having them ask you about your progress regularly.

In some cases, such as in the case of a therapist, you become financially invested in your own
success.

In some cases, such as in exercising and losing weight, there are websites where you can put
your own money up to keep yourself accountable for reaching your goal.

In other cases, you can simply give money to a friend and say, Heres $200, dont give it back
to me until I ace this speech.

The more ways you can find to keep yourself accountable whether its simply talking to
somebody, signing up for sites or courses, or putting your money where your mouth is the
more likely youre going to be able to succeed.

MINIMUM VIABLE ACTION

The minimum viable action is the action closest to your anxiety that youre comfortable doing.
For instance, if you have anxiety around meeting new people of the opposite sex (or same sex),
then a minimum viable action could be to simply go to a bar and have a drink. Its something
you know you can do successfully. If your anxiety is leaving home for more than a few days,
then start by leaving home for one day. If your anxiety is calling someone youre having
problems with, then start by sending them an email or text message.

The minimum viable action is designed so that youre always capable of doing SOMETHING,
and when you inevitably run up against the resistance of your anxiety, you can always at least
fall back on something that will move you partway there.
EXERCISE:

Come up with a form of accountability and come up with a minimum viable action for your
anxiety. Perform your minimum viable action until it is no longer painful for you.

NOTE: The written exercise mentioned in the video was part of the old course the video was
recorded for. You can either ignore the written exercises or do them on your own.
 LESSON 8: THE RESULTS
[VIDEO LESSON 8]

So lets review everything weve accomplished thus far:

We know our anxiety

We know where our anxiety comes from
We know what our defense mechanisms and rationalizations to our anxiety are
We have mapped out a route of progressive desensitization to our anxiety
Weve discovered what value we hold higher than the success/failure of our anxiety
Weve created accountability for ourselves and set up a minimum viable action

Now its time to get off our asses and do it.

EXERCISE:

Go out and conquer your anxiety by repeating each step in your progressive desensitization
plan. Move to the next action once it becomes manageable. If you have struggles, go back to
the lesson where somethings not working and try it again by replying.

NOTE: The written exercise mentioned in the video was part of the old course the video was
recorded for. You can either ignore the written exercises or do them on your own.