Group Case Study Report for Leadership 113

I. THE CASE

Case 4: FREEDOM

Melchor sought your help because he is in deep financial debt. As you continued talking, he
admitted that he has been gambling for many years. He can not stop because he is trying to
win back his losses.

Q1: How will you preach the Gospel to Melchor?

Q2: How will you encourage repentance? Come up with a plan.

This is the case that was assigned to our group. In the following section, we have come up with
additional hypothetical information in order to complete the scenario. In order to come up with
comprehensive answers to both questions, we will be present our solutions via a step-by-step
recounting of our proposed methods. These steps will include a bit of dialogue where necessary to
get our point across and supporting Biblical verses will be provided when and where they are
needed.

Throughout this report, we are guided by the following principles:

Listen with an open mind and loving heart

Affirm your relationship with the other person
Always use biblical truths when counseling
Encourage but do not manipulate or force the other person to face his sins
Always bring back the glory to God

Based on the background information and back story we created below, we formulated the
following steps in order to minister to Melchor:

1. Establish the relationship with the other person.

2. Make him feel comfortable around you by creating an atmosphere of openness and trust.
3. Ask him questions that will get him to talk about what is truly bothering him without being
pushy or intrusive.
4. Concentrate on listening and allow him to speak freely, holding back from making unnecessary
comments.
5. Always repeat what you understood in what he said to avoid misunderstandings.
6. Mention that you will try to help him in every way you can.
7. Gently get him to admit out loud why he got addicted to gambling.
8. Acknowledge what he has to say without coming across as judgmental or condemning.
9. Grab the opportunity when presented with one to show how Jesus can take the place of
gambling in his life.
10. Share what the Gospel is and the promises that God made to us if we believe in Him.
 VERSES: Jeremiah 29:11, Ephesians 2:8-9, Romans 10:9-10
11. Whatever his decision is at this point, reiterate your desire to help him as long as he also takes
steps to help himself.
12. Check to see if he has understood that gambling is wrong.
13. If not, then lead him to acknowledge what gambling has done to his life by letting him list
down his winnings, losses and debts so that he has something concrete that shows how much
gambling has taken away from him.
14. To drive your point home, ask him to add the price of his family in the losses column.
15. Address the lie that he can recoup all his losses through gambling.
VERSE: Proverbs 13:11
16. Gently encourage him to make the decision to let go of the lies the enemy has planted in his
mind and to turn his life around.
VERSE: John 10:10
17. Help him come up with a concrete plan to legitimately start paying off his debts and getting his
life back on track with the goal of getting his family together.
18. Remind him again that you are willing to help him know Jesus more and to be his
accountability and prayer partner.
19. Maintain and nurture your relationship by setting up a schedule for weekly meetings with him
to keep him on track.

II. THE BACK STORY

Melchor is a good friend from college whom I have not seen for a few years. I know him to be a
successful businessman who is happily married to his wife, Elena, with whom he has 3 children,
namely; Gino, 18, Pia, 15, and Lucas, 12 . They live in an upscale subdivision and their kids all go
to exclusive schools. They have more cars than they have members of their family. They spend
their summer vacations out of the country every year. They have memberships in most of the
exclusive country clubs in the city and properties in most destination resort properties around the
country.

The first 8 steps are illustrated in the following story.

1. Establish the relationship with the other person.

2. Make him feel comfortable around you by creating an atmosphere of openness and trust.
3. Ask him questions that will get him to talk about what is truly bothering him without being
pushy or intrusive.
4. Concentrate on listening and allow him to speak freely, holding back from making
unnecessary comments.
5. Always repeat what you understood in what he said to avoid misunderstandings.
6. Mention that you will try to help him in every way you can.
7. Gently get him to admit out loud why he got addicted to gambling.
8. Acknowledge what he has to say without coming across as judgmental or condemning.

Then one day, out of the blue, he shows up at my house asking to be lent PhP2M to help pay off
his debts. Needless to say, hearing this was a shock to me because this is the man to whom that
kind of money is loose change. Curious to know his story, I invited him in for refreshments and a
bit of catching up.

He seemed to be in a hurry and kept asking me if I could help him or not. At that point, I knew I
was going to help him but I wanted to know what his story was first.

I want to help you, bro, because I can't stand seeing you that way. Honestly, bro, you are
someone I look up to. But I need to know first, why are you in debt? I mean, that kind of amount
should be small change to you.

It's a long story but I really just need to know if you will help me. If not, then I need to go and
find someone who can.

As I said, I am willing to help you but you need to tell me how you got in debt. Last I heard, your
business is doing well.

There are some things that I would rather not tell you. I just need the money soon and, if you can
help me, I would greatly appreciate it.

Talk to me, bro. I promise you that I will help you in any way I can.

But it is really embarrassing. I'm so deep in a hole right now that I don't know how I can get out
anymore.

Tell me, bro. I will not judge you in any way.

The 2M I am borrowing is just the tip of the iceberg. This is just the amount that I need to pay
immediately.

Can't you sell one of your properties? That would cover more than 2M.

I would if I could. But I've sold all our properties already. The only one I have left is the house
we live in.

Despite being shocked at his revelation, I managed to control my facial reaction in order not to
offend him.

Then sell off some of your vehicles.

No can do. There's just one left. The oldest one.

A business loan perhaps? I mean your credit rating in the banks is probably better than mine.

That's not possible, too. My credit rating is shot.

Knowing that Melchor is an only child and both his parents are already dead, I suggested that they
ask for a personal loan from his father-in-law.
He won't give it to me. Elena has left me.

As difficult as it was to do, I still managed to control my reaction.

Uhmand the kids?

They don't want to have anything to do with me anymore.

At this point, Melchor looked like he was on the verge of breaking down in front of me. I handed
him a glass of water and just sat there looking at him, saying nothing. He just sat there with his
shoulders hunched over as he took deep breaths, trying to control his emotions.

When he finally looked up at me, I just smiled at him and said, When you're ready to tell me what
really happened, I'll be here to listen, bro. No judgement. No condemnation. But, for now, please
allow me to pray for you.

He hesitated for a few seconds before he slowly nodded his head. And so, I laid my hands on him
and prayed for him. I prayed for God to comfort him as he faced his problems. I prayed that God
will fill him with wisdom on how to deal with his debts. I prayed that God will strengthen and
prepare him for the battle that he faces so that he will come out victorious in the end. I ended my
prayer by thanking God for always extending His grace to us despite our numerous mistakes and
for giving us His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for us.

As you will notice, I did not mention anything yet about sin. I wanted to ease him into it first.

After my prayer, I just smiled at Melchor and did not say anything. After a few minutes of silence
from both of us, he said something that made me smile.

Wow. I never thought prayer could help. For me, they've always been a bunch of words strung
together to make yourself feel that you're doing something about your situation. Thank you, pare.
Your words have taken a load off my shoulders.

We sat in silence again until he said, Do you really want to know how I got into this trouble I'm
in?

I nodded.

Why?

Because I want to help you, bro. And I know that just giving you the money you need is not
enough. I want to really help you get your life back on track.

Can you really do that, pare?

I can try.
Melchor just sat there and stared at me. He seemed to be turning things over in his mind,
deciding whether he can trust me or not. When he finally decided to tell me everything, I could
not believe my ears at first.

He told me that he has been visiting casinos and gambling heavily for about 10 years. It started
when he went on a business trip to Las Vegas. His business partners invited him to join them on
the casino floor. He hit the jackpot that night. He said that it was the best night of his life. He
could not forget the thrill of winning and the euphoria that came after.

When he came back to the Philippines, he started frequenting the local casinos every time he felt
stressed or pressured by his rapidly expanding business. He did not win anything as big as what he
won in Las Vegas but the smaller wins he experienced still provided that thrill and euphoria he
sought. So, he kept going back but it got to the point where the small wins were not enough. He
craved the same feeling he felt in Las Vegas when he hit the jackpot. He figured that maybe, if he
played with bigger amounts, he would win bigger prizes.

So, he did that. But, if before he would go only on Friday nights to unwind, at that point, he was
going every night. His wife called him out on it, even suspecting him of cheating on her. He said
that his business demanded much of his time and he was working hard for her and the kids.

Realizing that he could not let her know of what he was doing because she would definitely stop
him from going to the casinos, he decided to cut down on his visits. But, it was like taking alcohol
from an alcoholic. He was surly and sullen when he was away from the casinos. His family started
staying away from him because of his attitude. This made him crave the sense of comradeship he
found in the company of the friends he made in the casinos.

The more time he spent there, the more money he was losing until it got to the point where he
started pawning or selling some of his personal possessions like his watches and guns because his
personal bank account was drained. From 8 digits, he was down to just 4.

I asked him why he did not stop at that point. He said that he did not think of stopping because he
believes that all he needs is one big win to recoup everything he has lost.

I asked him why Elena and the kids left him.

Elena discovered how depleted their finances were when the checks she issued for the tuition fees
of their kids bounced. She went to the bank to ask for an update on their checking account and
was shocked to discover that had a zero balance. She immediately checked all their other
accounts and discovered similar situations. Not only were their joint accounts cleaned out, they
were withdrawn from without her consent.

She confronted Melchor and that was when he told her the truth. They had a big fight and ended
up separating but, after a few months, Elena decided to try and fix things so she told him he could
go home already.
 They talked and agreed that Elena would allow him to still visit the casinos but he can only play
with a limited amount. Once the amount is used up, he needs to leave. For a couple of years,
things seemed to be working. Their business was flourishing. Their bank accounts were slowly
filling up again. And Melchor stuck to his promise of playing in the casinos with a limited amount
only. But, little did Elena know, Melchor had discovered online casinos. He felt that he was not
really breaking his promise since he was not using money to play but credit cards.

But ever since Elena discovered what Melchor did to their bank accounts, she became vigilant with
anything to do with their finances. She noticed that there was an increase in his credit card
spending. He immediately explained that it was gifts and other expenses needed to woo clients.
And like all other illegal enterprises, the corporate names that appear on the bank statements
seemed legitimate and did not hint at anything to do with gambling. So Elena accepted his
explanation.

This emboldened Melchor and he started playing more often and with bigger amounts, still
chasing that elusive feeling of euphoria he last felt in Las Vegas. But since Elena was monitoring
his credit cards, he decided more cards that she did not know of. That's when it really got bad. It
was so bad that he found ways of putting up their provincial properties as collateral for bank loans
to pay off his credit cards.

It was only when his father-in-law heard of one of these transactions and asked Elena about it that
everything came out in the open. Everything they had, including their cars, were all used as loan
collateral in different banks. That's when Elena and the kids left him. All that was left to his name
is their house, 1 car and his clothes. Even his business was practically gone. And he had no one to
turn to because his friends and business associates did not want to have anything to do with him
anymore, except collect the money that he owes them.

So, now you understand when I say that I'm so deep in a hole and I don't know how to get out
anymore. I feel so hopeless and helpless. Like there's nothing I can do anymore.

I was silently looking at him, waiting for him to keep talking.

Will you be able to help me, pare? I really need to know. If you can't or won't, I understand. I
just took a chance and visited you. As I said, there's practically no one else.

III. Q1: How will you preach the Gospel to Melchor?

The next 3 steps are illustrated in the following story.

1. Grab the opportunity when presented with one to show how Jesus can take the place of
gambling in his life.
2. Share what the Gospel is and the promises that God made to us if we believe in Him.
VERSES: Jeremiah 29:11, Ephesians 2:8-9, Romans 10:9-10
3. Whatever his decision is at this point, reiterate your desire to help him as long as he also
takes steps to help himself.
You're wrong, bro. There is always someone for us. No matter what. More of that later. I
will talk to my wife first but I think we can help you with your financial problem. But you do know
that lending you 2M now won't really solve your problems, right?

He nodded his head.

As I said, 2M is just the tip of the iceberg. A day or 2 from now, another creditor will come
knocking. Every day I wake up feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. It's like I just
wade through the thick mud that is my life now. It's too tiring. Too depressing. Honestly, after
you, I don't know who else to turn to.

Well, what if I tell you that there is someone you can turn to and who can take the weight off
your shoulders? Would you want to meet him?

Are you serious?? Of course, I'd want to meet him! Unless this is one of those 'are you open
minded' networking schemes, then no.

He looked so serious and offended that I laughed out loud. He was staring at me like I lost my
mind but he eventually saw the humor in it and laughed along with me.

But seriously, pare. Tell me more.

It's Jesus, bro.

Wait...what??? Are you one of THEM already?

Them? Who do you mean?

Those born-agains. The Jesus fanatics. Those who say that, if you accept Jesus into your life,
everything will be great.

I never said that, bro. I never said that Jesus will give you the money to pay off all your debts.

So what are you saying?

Well, remember that feeling you had after I prayed for you?

He nodded.

How did it feel?

There was a feeling of relief.

Anything else?
Like the weight on my shoulders was definitely lighter. Like I could stand up straight again.

Would you like to feel that feeling again?

Every day, pare. Every day.

Well, that's one of the things about knowing who Jesus is, bro. You know that there is always
someone you can turn to. There is someone who has your back. Always.

Really? So? You said that Jesus will not give me the money to pay off my debts. You said it
doesn't work that way. So what's the point in knowing Him?

In your case, the point of knowing Him is so that He can be your source of euphoria. Not
gambling. But, in general, the point in knowing Him is so that we can be glad in the fact that we
will be able to enjoy eternal life in His presence. That all the things we are going through is
nothing compared to the happiness we will experience when we join Him in heaven.

Because He died on the cross for our sins, we can receive the gift of salvation. Instead of
suffering in hell for eternity, we will be joining Him in heaven where there is no suffering.

How can you be so sure of that?

Do you believe in the Bible?

Well, I know that it's supposed to be the Word of God.

But do you believe in it?

I guess so.

Well the Bible says in Ephesians 2:8-9 'For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this
is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.'

Through faith? I just have to have faith and I will be saved?

Yes. Because it also says in Romans 10:9-10 that 'if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is
Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the
heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.'

OK. That's well and good but how will that help me pay my debts?

I can't really tell you how God will do it but I know that He will help you get through this
depending on your faith in Him. I do have a question for you though. You mentioned that you got
hooked on gambling because you were chasing after the thrill and euphoria you experienced when
you hit the jackpot in Las Vegas, right?
He nodded.

You also said that the feeling of relief and like the weight on your shoulders was lifted after we
prayed was something you did not expect to get from prayer, right?

He nodded again.

So tell me. What do you prefer? The euphoria or the relief?

The relief. Definitely, the relief.

Why?

Because I could breathe easier. Because everything just felt right. Like everything was going to
work out. It's like I finally had a chance to make things right. I finally felt that I had hope.

There. That is what believing in Jesus can give you. That is what He can do for you. Give you
hope. It says in Jeremiah 29:11 'For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for
welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.'

Oh.

Yeah. So think about it, bro. God always keeps His promises. And that is a promise He made to
those who believe in Him.

Melchor was quiet for a while.

OK, pare. I'll think about it. Thank you for telling me about this. I truly appreciate it and I do
have questions and want to know more about God and His promises. But it still does not change
the fact that I need 2M immediately. What do I about that now?

You know where to find me if you have questions, bro. I'll try my best to answer them. And, as I
told you, although my wife and I need to talk about it first but I think that we may be able to lend
you the entire amount. But we need to settle some things first.

What things?

Like what are your plans to dig yourself out of the hole you are in.

I haven't really thought about that.

Well, I can help you create a plan to get back on your feet.

Really? You'd do that?

Of course! I don't want to see you get stuck in the gambling web of lies.
 I noticed that as I said this a look of uncertainty crossed Melchor's face.

Bro, answer me honestly. Are you thinking of using the money I will lend you to try your luck
again at the casinos?

He looked down at started fidgeting with his hands.

Oh no.

IV. Q2: How will you encourage repentance? Come up with a plan.

The last set of steps are illustrated in the story below.

1. Check to see if he has understood that gambling is wrong.

2. If not, then lead him to acknowledge what gambling has done to his life by letting him list
down his winnings, losses and debts so that he has something concrete that shows how
much gambling has taken away from him.
3. To drive your point home, ask him to add the price of his family in the losses column.
4. Address the lie that he can recoup all his losses through gambling.
VERSE: Proverbs 13:11
5. Gently encourage him to make the decision to let go of the lies the enemy has planted in his
mind and to turn his life around.
VERSE: John 10:10
6. Help him come up with a concrete plan to legitimately start paying off his debts and getting
his life back on track with the goal of getting his family together.
7. Remind him again that you are willing to help him know Jesus more and to be his
accountability and prayer partner.
VERSE: Colossians 2:13-14
8. Maintain and nurture your relationship by setting up a schedule for weekly meetings with
him to keep him on track.