Pria dan Wanita

Diciptakan alam pria dan Wanita

Dua makhluk asuhan dewata
Ditakdirkan bahwa pria berkuasa
Adapun wanita lemah lembut manja

Wanita dijajah pria sejak dulu

Dijadikan perhiasan sangkar madu
Namun ada juga pria tak berdaya
Tekuk lutut di sudut kerling wanita

SENTENCE STRUCTURE

S + P + [ O] + [C]

N N, V, Adj, Adv. N Adv.

Sentence Structure versus Paragraph Structure

Sentence Structure : S + P + {O} + {C}

Paragraph Structure : TS + SS + CS

Writing Structure: ThS + TS + CS

ThS = Thesis Sentense

Opening Paragraph

Supporting/Content Paragraph

Concluding/Closing Paragraph
Ratapan Anak Tiri

Betapa malang nasibku

Semenjak ditinggal ibu
Walau kini dapat ganti
Sorang ibu..ibu tiri

Tiada sama rasanya

Ibu kandung yang tercinta
Menyayang sepenuh jiwa
Penuh kasih lagi mesra

Ibu tiri hanya cinta kepada ayahku saja

Bila ayah disampingku
Kudipuja dan dimanja
Tapi bila ayah pergi
Kudinista dan dibenci

Aduhai ibu tiriku

Kasihanilah diriku
Bagai anakmu sendiri
Agar dapat keberbakti

Anis Song (John Denver)

You filll up my senses

Like a night in a forest
Like a mountain in spring time
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
Come let me love you
Come fill me again

Come let me love you

Let me give my live to you
Let me drown in your laughter
Let me die in your arm
Let me lay down beside you
Let me always be with you
Come let me love you
Come fill me again
 STRUCTURE OF A WRITING

Thesis Statements

What this handout is about

This handout describes what a thesis statement is, how thesis statements
work in your writing, and how you can discover or refine one for your
draft.

Introduction

Writing in college often takes the form of persuasionconvincing

others that you have an interesting, logical point of view on the subject
you are studying. Persuasion is a skill you practice regularly in your
daily life. You persuade your roommate to clean up, your parents to let
you borrow the car, your friend to vote for your favorite candidate or
policy. In college, course assignments often ask you to make a
persuasive case in writing. You are asked to convince your reader of
your point of view. This form of persuasion, often called academic
argument, follows a predictable pattern in writing. After a brief
introduction of your topic, you state your point of view on the topic
directly and often in one sentence. This sentence is the thesis
statement, and it serves as a summary of the argument you'll make in
the rest of your paper.

What is a thesis statement?

A thesis statement:

tells the reader how you will interpret the significance of the
subject matter under discussion.
is a road map for the paper; in other words, it tells the reader what
to expect from the rest of the paper.
 directly answers the question asked of you. A thesis is an
interpretation of a question or subject, not the subject itself. The
subject, or topic, of an essay might be World War II or Moby Dick;
a thesis must then offer a way to understand the war or the novel.
makes a claim that others might dispute.
is usually a single sentence somewhere in your first paragraph that
presents your argument to the reader. The rest of the paper, the
body of the essay, gathers and organizes evidence that will
persuade the reader of the logic of your interpretation.

If your assignment asks you to take a position or develop a claim about a

subject, you may need to convey that position or claim in a thesis
statement near the beginning of your draft. The assignment may not
explicitly state that you need a thesis statement because your instructor
may assume you will include one. When in doubt, ask your instructor if
the assignment requires a thesis statement. When an assignment asks
you to analyze, to interpret, to compare and contrast, to demonstrate
cause and effect, or to take a stand on an issue, it is likely that you are
being asked to develop a thesis and to support it persuasively. (Check
out our handout on understanding assignments for more information.)

How do I get a thesis?

A thesis is the result of a lengthy thinking process. Formulating a thesis

is not the first thing you do after reading an essay assignment. Before
you develop an argument on any topic, you have to collect and organize
evidence, look for possible relationships between known facts (such as
surprising contrasts or similarities), and think about the significance of
these relationships. Once you do this thinking, you will probably have a
"working thesis," a basic or main idea, an argument that you think you
can support with evidence but that may need adjustment along the way.

Writers use all kinds of techniques to stimulate their thinking and to help
them clarify relationships or comprehend the broader significance of a
topic and arrive at a thesis statement. For more ideas on how to get
started, see our handout on brainstorming.

How do I know if my thesis is strong?

If there's time, run it by your instructor or make an appointment at the

Writing Center to get some feedback. Even if you do not have time to
get advice elsewhere, you can do some thesis evaluation of your own.
When reviewing your first draft and its working thesis, ask yourself the
following:

Do I answer the question? Re-reading the question prompt after

constructing a working thesis can help you fix an argument that
misses the focus of the question.
Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose? If
your thesis simply states facts that no one would, or even could,
disagree with, it's possible that you are simply providing a
summary, rather than making an argument.
Is my thesis statement specific enough?

Thesis statements that are too vague often do not have a strong
argument. If your thesis contains words like "good" or
"successful," see if you could be more specific: why is something
"good"; what specifically makes something "successful"?
Does my thesis pass the "So what?" test? If a reader's first response
is, "So what?" then you need to clarify, to forge a relationship, or to
connect to a larger issue.
Does my essay support my thesis specifically and without
wandering? If your thesis and the body of your essay do not seem
to go together, one of them has to change. It's o.k. to change your
working thesis to reflect things you have figured out in the course
of writing your paper. Remember, always reassess and revise your
writing as necessary.
Does my thesis pass the "how and why?" test? If a reader's first
response is "how?" or "why?" your thesis may be too open-ended
 and lack guidance for the reader. See what you can add to give the
reader a better take on your position right from the beginning.

Examples

Suppose you are taking a course on 19th-century America, and the instructor hands out the
following essay assignment: Compare and contrast the reasons why the North and South fought
the Civil War. You turn on the computer and type out the following:

The North and South fought the Civil War for many reasons, some of which were the same and
some different.

This weak thesis restates the question without providing any additional information. You will
expand on this new information in the body of the essay, but it is important that the reader know
where you are heading. A reader of this weak thesis might think, "What reasons? How are they
the same? How are they different?" Ask yourself these same questions and begin to compare
Northern and Southern attitudes (perhaps you first think, "The South believed slavery was right,
and the North thought slavery was wrong"). Now, push your comparison toward an interpretation
why did one side think slavery was right and the other side think it was wrong? You look again
at the evidence, and you decide that you are going to argue that the North believed slavery was
immoral while the South believed it upheld the Southern way of life. You write:

While both sides fought the Civil War over the issue of slavery, the North fought for moral
reasons while the South fought to preserve its own institutions.

Now you have a working thesis! Included in this working thesis is a reason for the war and some
idea of how the two sides disagreed over this reason. As you write the essay, you will probably
begin to characterize these differences more precisely, and your working thesis may start to seem
too vague. Maybe you decide that both sides fought for moral reasons, and that they just focused
on different moral issues. You end up revising the working thesis into a final thesis that really
captures the argument in your paper:

While both Northerners and Southerners believed they fought against tyranny and oppression,
Northerners focused on the oppression of slaves while Southerners defended their own right to
self-government.

Compare this to the original weak thesis. This final thesis presents a way of interpreting evidence
that illuminates the significance of the question. Keep in mind that this is one of many possible
interpretations of the Civil Warit is not the one and only right answer to the question. There
isn't one right answer; there are only strong and weak thesis statements and strong and weak uses
of evidence.

Let's look at another example. Suppose your literature professor hands out the following
assignment in a class on the American novel: Write an analysis of some aspect of Mark Twain's
novel Huckleberry Finn. "This will be easy," you think. "I loved Huckleberry Finn!" You grab a
pad of paper and write:

Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn is a great American novel.

Why is this thesis weak? Think about what the reader would expect from the essay that follows:
you will most likely provide a general, appreciative summary of Twain's novel. The question did
not ask you to summarize; it asked you to analyze. Your professor is probably not interested in
your opinion of the novel; instead, she wants you to think about whyit's such a great novelwhat
do Huck's adventures tell us about life, about America, about coming of age, about race relations,
etc.? First, the question asks you to pick an aspect of the novel that you think is important to its
structure or meaningfor example, the role of storytelling, the contrasting scenes between the
shore and the river, or the relationships between adults and children. Now you write:

In Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain develops a contrast between life on the river and life on the
shore.

Here's a working thesis with potential: you have highlighted an important aspect of the novel for
investigation; however, it's still not clear what your analysis will reveal. Your reader is intrigued,
but is still thinking, "So what? What's the point of this contrast? What does it signify?" Perhaps
you are not sure yet, either. That's finebegin to work on comparing scenes from the book and
see what you discover. Free write, make lists, jot down Huck's actions and reactions. Eventually
you will be able to clarify for yourself, and then for the reader, why this contrast matters. After
examining the evidence and considering your own insights, you write:

Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain's Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find
the true expression of American democratic ideals, one must leave "civilized" society and go
back to nature.

This final thesis statement presents an interpretation of a literary work based on an analysis of its
content. Of course, for the essay itself to be successful, you must now present evidence from the
novel that will convince the reader of your interpretation.
How To Write a Thesis Statement

What is a Thesis Statement?

Almost all of useven if we dont do it consciouslylook early in an essay for a one- or two-
sentence condensation of the argument or analysis that is to follow. We refer to that condensation
as a thesis statement.

Why Should Your Essay Contain a Thesis Statement?

to test your ideas by distilling them into a sentence or two

to better organize and develop your argument
to provide your reader with a guide to your argument

In general, your thesis statement will accomplish these goals if you think of the thesis as the
answer to the question your paper explores.

How Can You Write a Good Thesis Statement?

Here are some helpful hints to get you started. You can either scroll down or select a link to a
specific topic.
How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is Assigned
How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is not Assigned
How to Tell a Strong Thesis Statement from a Weak One

How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is Assigned

Almost all assignments, no matter how complicated, can be reduced to a single question. Your
first step, then, is to distill the assignment into a specific question. For example, if your
assignment is, Write a report to the local school board explaining the potential benefits of using
computers in a fourth-grade class, turn the request into a question like, What are the potential
benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class? After youve chosen the question your
essay will answer, compose one or two complete sentences answering that question.

Q: What are the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class?

A: The potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class are . . .

or
A: Using computers in a fourth-grade class promises to improve . . .

The answer to the question is the thesis statement for the essay.

How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is not Assigned

Even if your assignment doesnt ask a specific question, your thesis statement still needs to
answer a question about the issue youd like to explore. In this situation, your job is to figure out
what question youd like to write about.

A good thesis statement will usually include the following four attributes:

take on a subject upon which reasonable people could disagree

deal with a subject that can be adequately treated given the nature of the assignment
express one main idea
assert your conclusions about a subject

Lets see how to generate a thesis statement for a social policy paper.

Brainstorm the topic.

Lets say that your class focuses upon the problems posed by changes in the dietary habits of
Americans. You find that you are interested in the amount of sugar Americans consume.

You start out with a thesis statement like this:

Sugar consumption.

This fragment isnt a thesis statement. Instead, it simply indicates a general subject. Furthermore,
your reader doesnt know what you want to say about sugar consumption.

Narrow the topic.

Your readings about the topic, however, have led you to the conclusion that elementary school
children are consuming far more sugar than is healthy.

You change your thesis to look like this:

Reducing sugar consumption by elementary school children.

This fragment not only announces your subject, but it focuses on one segment of the population:
elementary school children. Furthermore, it raises a subject upon which reasonable people could
disagree, because while most people might agree that children consume more sugar than they
used to, not everyone would agree on what should be done or who should do it. You should note
that this fragment is not a thesis statement because your reader doesnt know your conclusions on
the topic.
Take a position on the topic.
After reflecting on the topic a little while longer, you decide that what you really want to say
about this topic is that something should be done to reduce the amount of sugar these children
consume.

You revise your thesis statement to look like this:

More attention should be paid to the food and beverage choices available to elementary
school children.

This statement asserts your position, but the terms more attention and food and beverage choices
are vague.

Use specific language.

You decide to explain what you mean about food and beverage choices, so you write:

Experts estimate that half of elementary school children consume nine times the
recommended daily allowance of sugar.

This statement is specific, but it isnt a thesis. It merely reports a statistic instead of making an
assertion.

Make an assertion based on clearly stated support.

You finally revise your thesis statement one more time to look like this:

Because half of all American elementary school children consume nine times the
recommended daily allowance of sugar, schools should be required to replace the beverages
in soda machines with healthy alternatives.

Notice how the thesis answers the question, What should be done to reduce sugar consumption
by children, and who should do it? When you started thinking about the paper, you may not
have had a specific question in mind, but as you became more involved in the topic, your ideas
became more specific. Your thesis changed to reflect your new insights.

How to Tell a Strong Thesis Statement from a Weak One

1. A strong thesis statement takes some sort of stand.

Remember that your thesis needs to show your conclusions about a subject. For example, if you
are writing a paper for a class on fitness, you might be asked to choose a popular weight-loss
product to evaluate. Here are two thesis statements:

There are some negative and positive aspects to the Banana Herb Tea Supplement.
This is a weak thesis statement. First, it fails to take a stand. Second, the phrase negative and
positive aspects is vague.

Because Banana Herb Tea Supplement promotes rapid weight loss that results in the loss of
muscle and lean body mass, it poses a potential danger to customers.

This is a strong thesis because it takes a stand, and because it's specific.

2. A strong thesis statement justifies discussion.

Your thesis should indicate the point of the discussion. If your assignment is to write a paper on
kinship systems, using your own family as an example, you might come up with either of these
two thesis statements:

My family is an extended family.

This is a weak thesis because it merely states an observation. Your reader wont be able to tell the
point of the statement, and will probably stop reading.

While most American families would view consanguineal marriage as a threat to the
nuclear family structure, many Iranian families, like my own, believe that these marriages
help reinforce kinship ties in an extended family.

This is a strong thesis because it shows how your experience contradicts a widely-accepted view.
A good strategy for creating a strong thesis is to show that the topic is controversial. Readers will
be interested in reading the rest of the essay to see how you support your point.

3. A strong thesis statement expresses one main idea.

Readers need to be able to see that your paper has one main point. If your thesis statement
expresses more than one idea, then you might confuse your readers about the subject of your
paper. For example:

Companies need to exploit the marketing potential of the Internet, and Web pages can
provide both advertising and customer support.

This is a weak thesis statement because the reader cant decide whether the paper is about
marketing on the Internet or Web pages. To revise the thesis, the relationship between the two
ideas needs to become more clear. One way to revise the thesis would be to write:

Because the Internet is filled with tremendous marketing potential, companies should
exploit this potential by using Web pages that offer both advertising and customer support.

This is a strong thesis because it shows that the two ideas are related. Hint: a great many clear
and engaging thesis statements contain words like because, since, so, although, unless, and
however.
4. A strong thesis statement is specific.

A thesis statement should show exactly what your paper will be about, and will help you keep
your paper to a manageable topic. For example, if you're writing a seven-to-ten page paper on
hunger, you might say:

World hunger has many causes and effects.

This is a weak thesis statement for two major reasons. First, world hunger cant be discussed
thoroughly in seven to ten pages. Second, many causes and effects is vague. You should be able
to identify specific causes and effects. A revised thesis might look like this:

Hunger persists in Glandelinia because jobs are scarce and farming in the infertile soil is
rarely profitable.

This is a strong thesis statement because it narrows the subject to a more specific and
manageable topic, and it also identifies the specific causes for the existence of hunger.

Tips and Examples for Writing Thesis Statements

Summary: This resource provides tips for creating a thesis statement and examples of different
types of thesis statements.
Tips for Writing Your Thesis Statement

1.Determine what kind of paper you are writing:

An analytical paper breaks down an issue or an idea into its component parts, evaluates
the issue or idea, and presents this breakdown and evaluation to the audience.
An expository (explanatory) paper explains something to the audience.
An argumentative paper makes a claim about a topic and justifies this claim with
specific evidence. The claim could be an opinion, a policy proposal, an evaluation, a
cause-and-effect statement, or an interpretation. The goal of the argumentative paper is to
convince the audience that the claim is true based on the evidence provided.

If you are writing a text which does not fall under these three categories (ex. a narrative), a thesis
statement somewhere in the first paragraph could still be helpful to your reader.

2. Your thesis statement should be specificit should cover only what you will discuss in your
paper and should be supported with specific evidence.

3. The thesis statement usually appears at the end of the first paragraph of a paper.

4. Your topic may change as you write, so you may need to revise your thesis statement to reflect
exactly what you have discussed in the paper.

Thesis Statement Examples

Example of an analytical thesis statement:

An analysis of the college admission process reveals one challenge facing counselors: accepting
students with high test scores or students with strong extracurricular backgrounds.

The paper that follows should:

explain the analysis of the college admission process

explain the challenge facing admissions counselors

Example of an expository (explanatory) thesis statement:

The life of the typical college student is characterized by time spent studying, attending class,
and socializing with peers.

The paper that follows should:

explain how students spend their time studying, attending class, and socializing with
peers
Example of an argumentative thesis statement:

High school graduates should be required to take a year off to pursue community service projects
before entering college in order to increase their maturity and global awareness.

The paper that follows should:

present an argument and give evidence to support the claim that students should pursue
community projects before entering college

THESIS STATEMENT
The thesis statement is that sentence or two in your text that contains the focus of your essay
and tells your reader what the essay is going to be about. Although it is certainly possible to write
a good essay without a thesis statement (many narrative essays, for example, contain only an
implied thesis statement), the lack of a thesis statement may well be a symptom of an essay beset
by a lack of focus. Many writers think of a thesis statement as an umbrella: everything that you
carry along in your essay has to fit under this umbrella, and if you try to take on packages that
don't fit, you will either have to get a bigger umbrella or something's going to get wet.

The thesis statement is also a good test for the scope of your intent. The principle to remember is
that when you try to do too much, you end up doing less or nothing at all. Can we write a good
paper about problems in higher education in the United States? At best, such a paper would be
vague and scattered in its approach. Can we write a good paper about problems in higher
education in Connecticut? Well, we're getting there, but that's still an awfully big topic,
something we might be able to handle in a book or a Ph.D. dissertation, but certainly not in a
paper meant for a Composition course. Can we write a paper about problems within the
community college system in Connecticut. Now we're narrowing down to something useful, but
once we start writing such a paper, we would find that we're leaving out so much information, so
many ideas that even most casual brainstorming would produce, that we're not accomplishing
much. What if we wrote about the problem of community colleges in Connecticut being so close
together geographically that they tend to duplicate programs unnecessarily and impinge on each
other's turf? Now we have a focus that we can probably write about in a few pages (although
more, certainly, could be said) and it would have a good argumentative edge to it. To back up
such a thesis statement would require a good deal of work, however, and we might be better off
if we limited the discussion to an example of how two particular community colleges tend to
work in conflict with each other. It's not a matter of being lazy; it's a matter of limiting our
discussion to the work that can be accomplished within a certain number of pages.

The thesis statement should remain flexible until the paper is actually finished. It ought to be one
of the last things that we fuss with in the rewriting process. If we discover new information in the
process of writing our paper that ought to be included in the thesis statement, then we'll have to
rewrite our thesis statement. On the other hand, if we discover that our paper has done adequate
work but the thesis statement appears to include things that we haven't actually addressed, then
we need to limit that thesis statement. If the thesis statement is something that we needed prior
approval for, changing it might require the permission of the instructor or thesis committee, but it
is better to seek such permission than to write a paper that tries to do too much or that claims to
do less than it actually accomplishes.

The thesis statement usually appears near the beginning of a paper. It can be the first sentence of
an essay, but that often feels like a simplistic, unexciting beginning. It more frequently appears at
or near the end of the first paragraph or two. Here is the first paragraph of Arthur Schlesinger,
Jr.'s essay The Crisis of American Masculinity. Notice how everything drives the reader toward
the last sentence and how that last sentence clearly signals what the rest of this essay is going to
do.
 What has happened to the American male? For a long time, he seemed
utterly confident in his manhood, sure of his masculine role in society,
easy and definite in his sense of sexual identity. The frontiersmen of
James Fenimore Cooper, for example, never had any concern about
masculinity; they were men, and it did not occur to them to think twice
about it. Even well into the twentieth century, the heroes of Dreiser, of
Fitzgerald, of Hemingway remain men. But one begins to detect a new
theme emerging in some of these authors, especially in Hemingway: the
theme of the male hero increasingly preoccupied with proving his virility
to himself. And by mid-century, the male role had plainly lost its rugged
clarity of outline. Today men are more and more conscious of maleness
not as a fact but as a problem. The ways by which American men affirm
their masculinity are uncertain and obscure. There are multiplying signs,
indeed, that something has gone badly wrong with the American
male's conception of himself.

The first paragraph serves as kind of a funnel opening to the essay which draws and invites
readers into the discussion, which is then focused by the thesis statement before the work of the
essay actually begins. You will discover that some writers will delay the articulation of the
paper's focus, its thesis, until the very end of the paper. That is possible if it is clear to thoughtful
readers throughout the paper what the business of the essay truly is; frankly, it's probably not a
good idea for beginning writers.

Avoid announcing the thesis statement as if it were a thesis statement. In other words, avoid
using phrases such as "The purpose of this paper is . . . . " or "In this paper, I will attempt
to . . . ." Such phrases betray this paper to be the work of an amateur. If necessary, write the
thesis statement that way the first time; it might help you determine, in fact, that this is your
thesis statement. But when you rewrite your paper, eliminate the bald assertion that this is your
thesis statement and write the statement itself without that annoying, unnecessary preface.

Here are the first two paragraphs of George Orwell's classic essay, "Politics and the English
Language" (1946). Which of these sentences would you say is or are the thesis statement of the
essay which is to follow? Everything that follows in this essay, then, would have to be something
that fits under the "umbrella" of that thesis statement.

Most people who bother with the matter at all would admit that the
English language is in a bad way, but it is generally assumed that we
cannot by conscious action do anything about it. Our civilization is
decadent, and our languageso the argument runsmust inevitably share
in the general collapse. It follows that any struggle against the abuse of
language is a sentimental archaism, like preferring candles to electric light
or hansom cabs to aeroplanes. Underneath this lies the half-conscious
belief that language is a natural growth and not an instrument which we
shape for our own purposes.

Now, it is clear that the decline of a language must ultimately have

political and economic causes: it is not due simply to the bad influence of
this or that individual writer. But an effect can become a cause, reinforcing
the original cause and producing the same effect in an intensified form,
and so on indefinitely. A man may take to drink because he feels himself to
be a failure, and then fail all the more completely because he drinks. It is
rather the same thing that is happening to the English language. It becomes
ugly and inaccurate because our thoughts are foolish, but the slovenliness
of our language makes it easier for us to have foolish thoughts. The point
is that the process is reversible. Modern English, especially written
English, is full of bad habits which spread by imitation and which can be
avoided if one is willing to take the necessary trouble. If one gets rid of
these habits one can think more clearly, and to think clearly is a necessary
first step towards political regeneration: so that the fight against bad
English is not frivolous and is not the exclusive concern of professional
writers. I will come back to this presently, and I hope that by that time the
meaning of what I have said here will have become clearer. Meanwhile,
here are five specimens of the English language as it is now habitually
written.
The Thesis Statement
(printable version here)

A thesis statement is one of the greatest unifying aspects of a paper. It should act as
mortar, holding together the various bricks of a paper, summarizing the main point of
the paper "in a nutshell," and pointing toward the paper's development. Often a thesis
statement will be expressed in a sentence or two; be sure to check with your professor
for any particular requirements in your class--some professors prefer a more subtle approach!

Students often learn to write a thesis as a first step in the writing process, and they become loathe to
change their claim. Scholars of writing find, however, a fully formed articulation of thesis to be one of the
final steps in writing. Professional writers usually weigh their initial claim in light of new evidence and
research; student writers should do the same.

Mapping

The thesis statement can help "map" a paper as it suggests an order or direction for the paper's
development. A thesis statement, for example, might read:

Judy Syfer's essay, "I Want a Wife," exaggerates the marital expectations facing women in our society
today.

The following sentence could continue:

Those expectations include managing a household, maintaining a career, and having a good relationship
with a spouse.

In this example, the thesis statement suggests an obvious path for development in "marital expectations."
The writer develops the paragraph by exploring the term "marital expectations." Three following
paragraphs, for example, would logically discuss 1) household responsibilities, 2) careers, and 3) marital
relationships.

The Weak "I will show" thesis

Writers new to college prose often include such statements. Generally, faculty do not like them and they
rarely appear in academic prose. This goes beyond avoiding the first person, a rule that is changing even
in scientific writing. Nevertheless, a good thesis in a well structured introduction does not need to state "I
hope to show why medieval teenagers lacked personal freedom." That point will be apparent to readers
soon enough; see the example below for how to improve this type of statement.

How? Why?

A good thesis statement often answers these questions. You may encounter a thesis statement that
reads:

The lifestyle of a teenager in the Middle Ages was very different from the lifestyle of most modern
American teenagers.

So what? Why should a reader continue? In what ways are the lifestyles of the youngsters different?
Better versions of this statement might be:
Because of the relative freedom enjoyed by young people today, the lifestyle of modern American
teenagers is very different from the lifestyle of teens in the Middle Ages. (this at least says why the
difference exists)

A young person in the Middle Ages had very different expectations about marriage, family, and personal
freedom than do young adults today. (this version of the statement emphasizes the Medieval, not
modern, teenager, but it still does not present an argument to be defended)

This revision of the statement above does present a point "worth making," a point one could contest or
support with data:

A young person in the Middle Ages had fewer options for marriage, family, and personal privacy and
freedom than do young adults today. (the essay could go on to support what the "options" were and why
they were limited)

An even more detailed version of this thesis could "map" the paper for a reader:

Young people in the Middle Ages, who were considered young but responsible adults by the age of
sixteen, had fewer social choices when compared to modern American teenagers. Unless they followed a
religious calling, medieval teenagers had to contend with an arranged marriage and bearing children
while living without what we would consider personal privacy or freedom.

Note how this statement takes more than a single sentence to make its point. Both of the thesis
statements above are improvements because they do not simply state the obvious: they give a reason
why or how we can accept the thesis statement. If you want a second example about how to get from an
assignment to a thesis statement, we have prepared a detailed example from a paper about Gulf War

Using the thesis while writing

This type of thesis serves another useful purpose: the writer can check the body of the paper against it,
since it promises a reader what will follow. If the body contains other information, such as other major
reasons for the difference sited, then the thesis may need to be revised to include it.

Questions to consider

What is the main idea of your paper in 25 or fewer words?

What is the assignment asking? How can you answer that question AND focus on a small area of
investigation?

What "code words" (such as "relative freedom" or "lifestyles") does the draft of my thesis
statement contain? Are these words adequately explained?

As you read over your paper, have you supported the thesis or disgressed? Where? How?