Contents

Biblical Dating ............................................................................................................................... 1

More to Life than Just Sex ........................................................................................................... 1

It counts as sex .............................................................................................................................. 4

Guard your Heart ......................................................................................................................... 5

Hurting yourself in the long run ................................................................................................ 5

Gods Never Wrong ..................................................................................................................... 7

Biblical Dating

Biblical Dating: How It's Different From Modern Dating

Basically, we can make three general statements about modern dating vs. biblical
dating in terms of their respective philosophies:

Modern dating seems to be about "finding" the right person for me (as my friend
Michael Lawrence has written on this site, "Stop Test-Driving Your Girlfriend");
biblical dating is more about "being" the right person to serve my future spouse's
needs and be a God-glorifying husband or wife.

In modern dating, intimacy precedes commitment. In biblical dating,

commitment precedes intimacy.

The modern dating approach tells us that the way to figure out whether I want to
marry someone is to act like we are married. If we like it, we make it official. If
we don't, then we go through something emotionally and probably physically
like a divorce. In biblical dating, Scripture guides us as to how to find a mate
and marry, and the Bible teaches, among other things, that we should act in such
a way so as not to imply a marriage-level commitment until that commitment
exists before the Lord.

More to Life than Just Sex

5. The issue of sexual desire and self-control

But this notion of self-control isnt a popular idea in our culture, where sexual
gratification has been turned into an ultimate good, without which you are not
fully human. The message is as long as you dont hurt others go for it.
Satisfy your desires.

Our culture tells us its a fools errand to even try to control our sexual desires
fully. And even some Christians would say, Its impossible to be single and not
have sex.

But this is a pagan view of sex. We arent simply animals who feel an urge and
then have to act! We need to recover a Christian sense of the dignity of our
humanity, as those who are made in the image of God. We have sexual desires,
and they are good. But we are not to be ruled by them. Rather we are to control
them and keep them within the boundaries of Gods will for our lives. As
Galatians 5:22-23 says, the fruit of the Spirit is . . . self-control. This is a mark of
the Christian life.

http://youngandcatholic.net/2011/08/im-not-hurting-anyone/

I think somebody dropped the ball on teaching The Golden Rule.

Everyone knows what it says: we are supposed to treat others in the way we
would want to be treated. So simple, so clear, and it seems to cover all the bases.

However

Somewhere along the line, it seems to have turned into meaning that, so long as
you are not doing something with the intention of harming someone else, what
you are doing is perfectly fine. At least thats how Ben Harper seems to interpret
it

my choice is what I choose to do

and if Im causing no harm
it shouldnt bother you
your choice is who you choose to be
and if youre causin no harm
then youre alright with me
How can you argue with that logic? He uses these lyrics specifically to justify
smoking pot, but we often see this exact logic employed to justify all sorts of
things: from drinking with the intention of getting drunk, to cheating on a test, to
sleeping around, etc.

Hey, were not hurting anyone. So why make such a fuss?

Well first of all, as Catholics, we dont believe something is a sin just because it
hurts our neighbor. Ultimately, sin is sin because it hurts usby harming our
relationship with God.

And even putting aside religion for a moment, as human beings we need to
realize something.

The Golden Rule presupposes that you have a certain love of self. If it didnt,
it wouldnt make much sense. We dont often like to talk about loving ourselves
because we think it sounds selfish or shallow. But Im not talking about the kind
of self-love you have after watching a Julia Roberts movie that makes you want
to abandon your responsibilities, travel the world, and find yourself. Im
talking about real love of selfa love that isnt satisfied with mere fleeting
pleasures; a love that seeks, and works for, the good in everything.

The thing is, when we get to the point of realizing this kind of love in ourselves,
we also realize that we cant really be neutral in our actions. Whether we want it
to or not, every action of ours will either work for the good or for the detriment
of the world around us. Because we live in the world, and if the end we seek is
the good, then anything less than that is beneath us (read: not good, or bad).

Its a tall orderbut its better than trying to just get by.

http://holynativity.blogspot.com/2012/12/im-not-hurting-anyone.html

I think many of us figure that if God forgives us, then there is nothing to fear;
however, the consequences of sin are more than an offence against God which
He freely forgives. Life is real, and the consequences of sin are real too. What
we do affects other people.

We live in a culture that values so much what goes on in the head. Notice that
we will spend almost all of our youth being trained to think. We receive almost
no explicit instruction in morality. It is as if thinking well were the only
important matter. The moral implications and consequences of what we think or
do, that seems to be completely irrelevant--so long as we don't get sued or go to
jail. And what makes matters worse is that we now have the technology
(internet, video games, credit cards, birth control, and antibiotics, for example) to
almost completely shield our mental immorality and much of our actual immoral
behaviour from its immediate natural consequences.

This psudo-reality of life shielded from consequence is brought home for me

every time I hear someone say in confession: "But it's not hurting anyone." Set
free from most of the immediate negative consequence of our actions and robbed
of the fear of God, we licentiously indulge our blood lust in video games and our
sexual urges in "safe sex" and our avaricious fantasies in government sponsored
gambling. We say we are not hurting anyone. And the tragedy is that many of
us are sincere. We believe the lie: "I am an island. What I do doesn't effect
others."

It counts as sex

4) Remember whose property you are touching. You do not own the person
you're dating. That person belongs to God. Imagine there's a sign on everyone
you date that reads: PROPERTY OF JESUS.6) Acknowledge Jesus' presence on
every date. Before a date, it's normal to spend a lot of time getting ready. After all,
you want to look your best. But you also want to make sure you're spiritually
prepared. So spend at least as much time in prayer as you do in front of a mirror.
As it says in Proverbs 3:6: "Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your
paths."

SEX AND THE SINGLE CHRISTIAN

Still, how do we draw a Godly line about what we can and cannot do with a man or
woman to whom we are not married? Read that question again - "to whom we are not
married." If a married man, rubbed on the crotch of a woman's jeans other than his wife,
would it be sin? Is it likely the wife would say "It's okay, it's not sex"? And if the wife
performed oral sex on some man other than her husband, would he be wrong to be
upset because "it's not sex?" Clearly these examples are cases of sexual sin! If its sexual
sin for a married person to do these things with another, then how can it not be sexual,
or not be sin, for two single people to do these things? Why would it be alright to do
these things with anyone we feel close to while we are single, but not after we marry?

Growing Up Girls

What caught you off-guard was that you weren't expecting sexual actions to be as
strongly pleasurable as they are. Of course you enjoyed what happen. The reason so
many people sin sexually is precisely because it is enjoyable. It is easy to get caught up
in the pleasure, to the point that you stop thinking about what you are actually doing --
which is why fornication happens so often.

Guard your Heart

The truth is dating and everything that comes with dating is NOT scriptural.
Thats because dating is a temptation that leads to sex. For the Christian it is
always best to remain platonic friends until you get to know if they are
compatible with you or not. If the relationship never has any commitment for
marriage it is best to remain friends and never give your heart awaythat way
no one gets hurt.

Hurting yourself in the long run

SEX AND THE SINGLE CHRISTIAN

In marriage this sex induced bonding is a good thing, but outside of marriage it
can be a very bad thing. Sex, including sexual contact far short of intercourse,
clouds our ability to make intelligent, rational decisions about the person we are
being sexual with. Sexual contact causes us to feel closer to the person we are
sexual with, and this can and does result in marriages that are doomed to fail. It
is better and wiser to make life long decisions about marriage without sex
making it impossible to see and think clearly.

Setting all of that above aside for a moment, the best reason we give for a single
person to say away from anything even remotely sexual is because we have seen
the results of sexual contact before marriage.

Our sexuality is like a white board - but we write on it with permanent markers.
All of the sexual messages we get from our culture make marks on that white
board, but because of how God created us the things we experience while highly
aroused make larger marks, and the things we experience along with orgasm
make the very largest of marks. Again, this is a good thing in marriage - what we
do with our spouse gets written down and becomes a part of what we want,
expect, and enjoy. But what if we have sexual contact with several individuals
before we marry? The first person we are with leaves a lot of marks on us, and
we want and expect sex to be however it was with them. Each new partner
leaves more marks on us. Soon our white board is unreadable, and our sexual
expectations and desires are a mess.

What if the person you marry can't do that "special thing" a former partner did?
What if your spouse can't do something you like as well as the last person you
were sexual with? What if you have come to enjoy and be aroused by the way a
certain partner's body part looked or felt, and your spouse does not look or feel
this way? What if the man or woman you marry finds something you have come
to enjoy and want to be gross? Or what if they "need" something that you don't
like because of a bad experience with another person?

What if you wait until you are sure you are with the one you are going to marry?
This avoids some of the problems, but not all of them. Unmarried couples don't
have the same regular contact and opportunities that married couples have, and
this means their sex life will not be the same as it will be when they do marry.
There is the problem of habituation - becoming so used to doing something a
certain way that you can't do it any other way. As an extreme example, one
couple we've talked with engaged in "dry humping" to mutual orgasm before
marriage. When they did marry they found very little enjoyment in being naked
together, and both of them found it difficult to be aroused or orgasm during
intercourse. They had become so used to the only kind of sex they knew that
intercourse was difficult and not enjoyable.

As a Christian, how should I deal with being horny?

"I mean if sex is just for fun then why on us does it take such a toll? /

Maybe its because You dont have sex with a body, you have sex with a soul."

Se x is a covenant of love. It's an appreciation of life. Today sexual morals have

been perverted. They have orgies, and sacrifice babies like pagans.

Sex is sacred. Not a toy.

Some people like to say "Don't judge me".

But there's a difference between truth and judging.

And Jesus even said to Judge righteously, meaning don't be a hypocrite but tell
people the truth.

Sex was meant for marriage. If Christianity truly supressed se x we wouldn't be

allowed to have sex at all. But that is not the case. Sex is precious, and meant for
your spouse. It is a gift to husband and wife.

We are not Animals. God created us above the animals. He made us holy and
clean, and with a mind to discern right from wrong.

Gods Never Wrong

Purity = An Awkward Wedding Night + Joy

There is such joy that comes with waiting. The actual waiting process is hard and I do
NOT recommend an 11 month engagement or longer like we did (Gods grace is big, let
me tell you), but the prize is so good at the end. Its like running a marathon. It gets
harder and harder as you go, but once you cross that finish line, its all about the glory of
what you did, er DIDNT do. Its all about celebrating and its all about rejoicing. So is
waiting for marriage to be sexually intimate with your mate.

Trusting God: The Good

As we continue our trusting God series, we will look at a third belief that helps
us with trusting God. If we believe that God is good, and therefore wants the
best for us, then it helps us to trust in God despite what we feel, observe or
experience in the present. The tricky part to trusting God has to do with how we
measure goodness. Is good something I want? Like a piece of candy? Or, is
good something that is in my best interest? Like an apple?

Candy tastes good, but apples are truly good for you. Apples nourish you
mentally, physically and even emotionally. Give a child the option between
candy and apples, and the answer is predictable. A child defines good
according to instant gratification. Maturity, however, looks to the long-term
result. To believe in Gods goodness, we must look through the lens of spiritual
maturity.

From a privileged, Western worldview we typically define good in terms of

prosperity, safety or happiness. This view of Gods nature leaves us spiritually
immature. Its shallow and empty. If we judge Gods goodness according to our
prosperity, then we inevitably determine that He is not in the least bit good.
From this perspective, every grief and disappointment is viewed as a lack of
Gods goodness.

People who are spiritually maturity measure Gods goodness according to what
is in their best interest. They choose apples over candy, so to speak. These people
also accept that only God knows what is best. Remember, God is bigger than me.
Only He sees the bigger picture. Trusting God involves accepting things we
cant fully comprehend. It requires yielding to Gods mystery. We must learn to
trust that God knows what is best for us.

Believing in Gods goodness is most difficult when we are suffering. You may
relate to a young woman I counseled who was fed up with life. She told me, I
cant trust God because He wants less for me than what I want for myself. If I
trust Him, Ill end up with a less satisfying life than if I take matters into my own
hands. We all feel this way at times. We all feel that we could do a better job
than God. But, this belief will not help us hear God. Instead, it creates distance
from God. Those who try to manage life apart from God end up isolated, angry
and desperate. When we trust in Gods goodness, we find a greater purpose than
we could have ever imagined.

Is it wrong to sleep with your boyfriend?

Yes it is wrong. Certain intimacies are reserved for marriage. The sexual
relationship is one of those intimacies and is of course a no brainer. But other
intimate activities physical and emotional such as sleeping in the same bed or
sharing the same close living quarters and all that comes with that are reserved
for marriage. Even for the engaged.

The world makes a BIG deal of man-made holidays. Non-christians are

empty, in search of something to occupy their time and to give them a sense
of fulfillment. The problem is that their joy is temporary and is based on the
seasonal holidays of the year. These man-made holidays give only a
temporary- momentary happiness that is soon over and they, the following
day, immediately look forward to the next holiday. They wait in anticipation
of it. The have high hopes and have bought into the hype only to find out the
holiday they so longed for came and went and then they must look forward
to the next holiday. It's a vicious cycle that never ends until one receives
Jesus. as Savior and Lord.

10 Things Most Americans Dont Know About America

10. We Mistake Comfort For Happiness

Comfort sells easier than happiness. Comfort is easy. It requires no effort and no
work. Happiness takes effort. It requires being proactive, confronting fears,
facing difficult situations, and having unpleasant conversations.
Comfort equals sales. Weve been sold comfort for generations and for
generations we bought: bigger houses, separated further and further out into the
suburbs; bigger TVs, more movies, and take-out. The American public is
becoming docile and complacent. Were obese and entitled. When we travel, we
look for giant hotels that will insulate us and pamper us rather than for
legitimate cultural experiences that may challenge our perspectives or help us
grow as individuals.

Depression and anxiety disorders are soaring within the US. Our inability to
confront anything unpleasant around us has not only created a national sense of
entitlement, but its disconnected us from what actually drives happiness:
relationships, unique experiences, feeling self-validated, achieving personal goals.
Its easier to watch a NASCAR race on television and tweet about it than to
actually get out and try something new with a friend.

Unfortunately, a by-product of our massive commercial success is that were able

to avoid the necessary emotional struggles of life in lieu of easy superficial
pleasures.