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 Founder: Vishwa Nath (1917-2002)

JULY (FIRST) 2017

Vol 44, Issue No. 1046
womansera.com BUILDS HAPPY HOMES

Articles
06
YOU CAN MAKE POSSIBLE,
EVEN THE IMPOSSIBLE
D. C. Sharma

67 SPOTLIGHT
ON SPINACH
Deepalatha
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
Prachi Srivastava
10 14 PERCEIVING BEAUTY
Swetha Sunder

74 ADOPT A
HEALTH LIFE STYLE
Sudesh Gogia

76 NEW

26
PARENTS OF SUCCESSFUL
CHILDREN DO THIS
Lesley D. Biswas
STORYTELLING APPS
Ramesh Kumar Raja

79 REASONS WHY
Himanshu Yadav

82 LONG DISTANCE
RELATIONSHIP
MONSOON
54
FASHION TRENDS
Suman Bajpai
Cookery

Munmun Bhattacharjee

PHOBIAS
I. M. Soni

MYRIAD MYTHS
T. Rajagopalan

INTENSITY OF

WORKING WOMEN
36
Shreeprakash Sharma
CONCENTRATION
I. M. Soni

TIFFANYS STORY
Devayni Medhekar

LAUGH AND LET THE

MAGIC WORK
Vijai Pant
38
SIMPLY DELICIOUS

Pineapples Square Cookies

Stuffed Fresh Tomatoes
Fried Cabbage Cakes
23 IS THIS TRUE? FOR GOOD MEASURE Spicy Cucumber Relish
Munmun Bhattacharjee Mala Ashok
Chocolatey Modak
34 7 ESSENTIALS IS A POET REALLY BORN? Okra Patties
Sanjana Saini Mithun Day Taco Salad with Homemade Tortilla Bowls
35 12 MONSOON SPECIAL CHARACTERISTICS OF A Cheese Wafers
GARDEN CARE TIPS POTENTIAL RAPIST Creamy Vanilla Fudge
Lesley D. Biswas Sudha Chandrasekaran Corn Walnut Dip and many more...
 18 ITS CALLED 62 A GROOM SAVITHRI, THE
TEENAGE LOVE FOR KAVI INVINCIBLE
Heera Nawaz Savitri Babulkar Raa Iramamurthy

32 THE 70 SMOKY STUFF VOTING FIASCO

UNINVITED PART-II Priyanka Chauhan
GUEST C. J. Nandakumar
Arnav Garg

48 SWEET
N SOUR
Geeta Kashyap
80 THE GAMBLE
Ananya Sarkar
Fiction
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EDITORIAL
INSENSITIVE POLICE
S
hould women, victim of rape, sleep with policemen to
get their rapists arrested? Yes, this has happened in
Rampur, Uttar Pradesh. The case began back in
February when the woman said Ameer and Satar offered
her a lift home from a relative's house, only to return and
rape her later when they discovered she was home alone.
She reported the case to police, but says officers failed to
file charges until she went to a local court to complain.
Even then, she said her attackers - who live in the same
village - were left free to roam the streets, leaving her in
fear of life.
Inspector then told her she needed to have sex with
him before he would arrest the men. She says her requests
were repeatedly ignored by IO Jai Prakash Singh who
instead of taking action against the rapists or detaining
them cross-examined her on the lurid details of the alleged
attack.
Despite making desperate pleas to Singh to jail the pair, he
began messaging her asking to meet in private and
propositioning her, she says. When she complained about
his behaviour, she claims he closed the case. But Singh kept
on harassing her, at which point she made secret recordings
and took them to the police chief.
Speaking about the tapes, police superintendent Vipin
Tada said, The voice in the audio clip doesn't match with
that of the [investigator]. But we will investigate her charges
thoroughly.
Police are the last resort for a person in distress. The
woman in this case first suffered physical humiliation at the
hands of two men and now is being harassed by a
policeman, who is supposed to uphold law and respect
womans dignity.
All talks of gender sensitisation of police remain on
paper only and are not implemented in action. Even the
higher authorities are trying to protect the culprit
policeman.
In 2015 alone, there were 34,000 reported cases of
rape in India, though that number is likely to be far higher
since many do not go to the police for fear they
will not be believed, or will be shunned by their
community.
Marital rape is also not considered a crime, further
adding to the number of unreported cases. It should be
made mandatory that rape cases will be handled by women
police officers. Only then concept of police sensitisation
will be a reality.
Womans Era July (First) 2017
YOGA DAY
I
nternational Yoga Day was celebrated with great
fervour and enthusiasm. There can be no dispute
regarding the benefits of Yoga. But the way government
(Modi) is patronising and sponsoring Yoga seems
intimidating. Remember, the very first International Yoga
Day? Some sections of society saw it as a cultural invasion
on their traditional beliefs and way of life.
They also saw it associated with Hindu religion and as
such plainly refused to do some asanas like Surya
Namaskar and reciting Om as it is an integral part of all
mantras Hindus recite while worshipping or telling beeds.
Because of this and several other myths associated
with Yoga, a large section of society, including
some Hindus, remain deprived of getting full benefit of
Yoga.
The fact is Yoga has existed in all cultures in some form
or other; just like the ways of worshipping are different in
different religions but with a common goal. Likewise,
meditation has also been present in different cultures since
time immemorial. In Hindu religion, it is mainly considered a
domain of sages or some people of special attainment only.
This is a great myth.
When you are solving a mathematical or scientific
problem, you are meditating. Likewise, sports persons,
when they are focusing on victory, they are meditating.
This type of meditation, which may be called active
meditation, can boost mental and physical capacity
tremendously. But in Hindu religion, they mainly focused
on passive meditation.
Move to popularise Yoga among the masses is
commendable. Scores of people have been doing this
devotedly in the past without caring for publicity or money.
Their work could never come in limelight even though lots
of people got huge health benefits after learning Yoga from
their masters.
It is only in past few years that some so-called Yoga
gurus hijacked Yoga and began minting money out of it.
This has further distanced Yoga from the common people.
Throngs of celebrities and high-profile people at special
Yoga sessions organised to mark the International Yoga
Day is testimony to it.
If the government truly wants to popularise Yoga, it
must first make efforts to dispel the myths associated
with it. The current dispensation, which is seen as a
staunch Hindutva dispensation, will have to restore the
confidence of masses that Yoga is not against their
religion or faith.
Only then can a drive be undertaken comprehensively
and more and more people will adopt Yoga to get its
uncountable health benefits.
write to: editor@womansera.com We
5
YOU CAN MAKE
POSSIBLE, EVEN
THE IMPOSSIBLE
It is a question of attitude. By D. C. Sharma

A
pig keeper was once told by his
community: You cannot make a
silk purse out of a sows ear. The
idea sank deep into his tender mind even
though he was hardworking and
innovative. But for how long can an
innovative mind remain contented with the
old outdated conservative wisdom? Just
when this fellow was trying his innovative
skills, another member of his community
discouraged him, You have grown old and
so has your brain, how can you teach an old
dog new tricks?
But this time he didnt get discouraged
by the negative remarks of such malicious
persons. He courageously liberated himself
by pulling down the prison house in which
he was getting incarcerated. The idea
sparked in his mind that jumping into timely
action is the only antidote to such
discouraging thoughts, and thus the myth
of impossibility can be exploded. This is
how you can do it too.
Shun the myth of the word impossible
forever. Have you ever thought that the
word impossible is itself revealing a great
lesson of life? Just see how it reveals a

EVEN THE GREAT
NAPOLEON SAYS THAT
THE WORD IMPOSSIBLE
IS FOUND ONLY IN THE
DICTIONARY OF FOOLS.
great motivational truth! Doesnt it
say Im possible? If you still believe in
the potency of the word impossible
why not use the mighty power of your
brain now?
Only those who use their boots
rather than their brains believe in the
word impossible. Even the great
Napoleon says that the word
impossible is found only in the
dictionary of fools. Yes, it is the power
of our mighty brain that can take us to
the heights unimagined. When we use
our brain the more experience and
maturity we gain. The more we go
deep into a problem the more we
become aware that the solution itself
is not at all in possible. Remember
that our own limited thinking keeps us
in actually bondage. One can do, win,
and achieve even the impossible goal!
DELVE INTO THE
PROBLEM
Learn to initiate, and go deeper
and deeper into the problem before
you. Nelson Mandela had advised, It
always seems impossible until it is
done. You may see this fact by going
down your own memory lane. When
you were a student, didnt you fear
how impossible it would be for you to
pass the next higher examination? But
as you went deep into the matter at
hand, every step of going deeper and
deeper into the problems had shown
you some fresh and new insights of
how to handle that situation with new
and fresh solutions. The remedy truly
lies in initiating the task at hand. You
keep on seeing that each impossible
step goes on turning into an easy and
satisfying possibility.
To make the impossible, possible
changing your attitude is essential.
Those who easily get discouraged are
those who have lost their contact
with the highest intellect that guides
us all the time. And the solution lies in
bringing about a change in ones self.
The famous humorous English
dramatist George Bernard Shaw has
advised, Progress is impossible
without change, and those who
cannot change their minds cannot
change anything. The easiest way is
to believe in the power of the infinite
intelligence that pervades the whole
power to choose either. Similarly,
learn to be happy and elated. Instead
Nelson Mandela
had advised,
It always seems
impossible until it
is done.
universe. When you start believing in
the creative energy which fills the
entire universe whose presence is as
immanent in the frailest insect as in
the farthest star you start feeling the
surging positivity in you which
motivates you to make even the
impossible task quite possible, to be
accomplished with perfection.
Actually, we ourselves make even
the possible impossible! Most of us
get angry and frustrated finding even
a minor trouble or difficulty in a task
at hand. That nature of irritability is
not our basic nature. It is our self-
created negativity. Motivational
writer Wayne Dyer provides a great
workable solution, It is impossible
THE FAMOUS
HUMOROUS ENGLISH
DRAMATIST GEORGE
BERNARD SHAW HAS
ADVISED, PROGRESS IS
IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT
CHANGE, AND THOSE
WHO CANNOT CHANGE
THEIR MINDS CANNOT
CHANGE ANYTHING.
for you to be angry and laughing at
the same time. Anger and laughter are
mutually exclusive and you have the
instead of choosing to get irritated,
of finding the job at hand difficult,
learn to take it easy by making it
manageable. Having such an attitude
will gradually become a habit with
you.
Last but not least is the habit to
attract the cooperation of your
colleagues. Then you can make the
impossible work a possible task. Some
people have the habit of thinking that
if they ask for help and cooperation of
others he or she will become weak in
the eyes of others. Actually, one may
not go on asking for help and
cooperation of colleagues if one has
not been offering help and
cooperation to others very often. In
such a scenario help and cooperation
automatically comes rushing. And, in
that case, nothing ever remains an
impossible task. Rather, things go so
smoothly that they set an example for
others to follow in the footsteps of
such movers and shakers. If you find
that impossible, now is the time to
make it possible! We
Nothing is impossible, the word
itself says Im possible.
 With no second thoughts.
C
an someone fall intensely in
love after a single swift glance?
Can a glimpse make one
believe that one wants to devote the
rest of ones life to a stranger, we
have just seen for the first time? What
makes two people who have never
before even said hi to one another;
have a visualisation of living their
future together, organised and
unruffled. What exactly is love at first
sight? Love at first sight is not easy to
elucidate. The expression love at first
sight means falling in love with
someone after seeing him or her for
the very first time and not essentially
being verbally involved with the
person. When such a phenomenon
happens you get butterflies in your
stomach by just seeing them. The first
thing you want is their consideration.
10
By Prachi Srivastava
The impression of being with him or
her seems like an outstanding
journey. You want to know the whole
kit and caboodle about them. In such
a scenario, who cares about menace
and genuineness? It just feels so good
and you become so confident that this
is going to be the best relationship
ever.
The reason behind
love at first sight
Love at first sight is not easy to
describe. Some people even
contradict that it is imaginable,
claiming it is merely sexual attraction.
The mechanism of our subconscious
mind is very simple. In fact, this
simplicity has been the cause of many
errors, typecasts and erroneous
principles all through the ages. Our
Womans Era July (First) 2017
subconscious creates sentiments and
feelings without us even recognising
it. Impression development is the
psychosomatic definition for the
technique; our unconscious mind
understands individuality, their
characteristics and facial features as
well.
The factual reason behind why we
fall in love at first sight is because a
particular person at times, generates
an evaluation in our subconscious to
someone from our past who meant a
lot to us. This is also known as the
attraction aura. It refers to a
particular way our brain relates
attractiveness with goodness. People
can fall in love at first sight if the
newfangled soul they see seems like
somebody they once loved before or
someone who had a constructive
sway on their life. The subconscious
creates the outlook, because this new
individual looks like someone from
your previous stint that was virtuous
for you, this new person might be
noble for you too and you start liking
this new person very much.
Expressing this, it seems more
comprehensible as to why some of us
are positive; we have knowledgeable
love at first sight, even if beforehand,
we thought it was awkward. There
are many hidden subconscious ways
your brain deceives you into
discerning that you have found your
soulmate.
Contradictory opinions
regarding love at first sight
Some people relate to the idea of
love at first sight very well. To some
people, whether it is real or not, it
feels good. Everything seems to be so
rosy and like a fairytale. Some people
find this concept vague. They consider
it as a practical joke. Contradictory
opinions regarding love at first sight
are generally based on two core
reasons. The first opinion suggests
that romantic love involves not only
attraction towards external
appearance or any sexual desire, but
also of knowing the persons
character behaviours, such as
compassion, trustworthiness and a
sense of humour. Such familiarity
cannot be existent at first prospect,
as it requires understanding. The
second opinion suggests the fact that
love does not merely entail feelings;
rather, it basically encompasses
actions, and these cannot be
implemented at first sight.
Love at first sight can often be
misinformed since it is grounded more
on thoughts and fantasies than on
vision; however, it can still be love,
and over and over again can be very
strong. Research specifies that
romantic love is often based upon
romanticism and optimistic
impressions, and this is also correct
regarding love that lasts many years.
The fact that love at first sight may
succumb after a while also does not
imply that it was not a passionate
love. Time is not a limited factor, or
even the principal measure of strong
love. Loving force and passion is likely
to dwindle and even vanish after a
while.
To love, or not to love
Each of us has our own perception
of attractiveness based on our own
upbringing. We all see beauty in a
different way. Love at first sight has
nothing to do with good looks. The
subconscious is trying to make you
attracted to this new person so that
you will do everything under your
control to catch up with them.
According to the subconscious mind
and its opinion, this new individual
will give one encouraging feelings just
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
CAN OFTEN BE
MISINFORMED SINCE
IT IS GROUNDED
MORE ON THOUGHTS
AND FANTASIES THAN
ON VISION;
HOWEVER, IT CAN
STILL BE LOVE, AND
OVER AND OVER
AGAIN CAN BE VERY
someone, go for it. Always follow
STRONG.
Womans Era July (First) 2017
like the person from the past did.
When a person experiences love at
first sight, he or she tends to think
that it must be fortune and we have
found the perfect one. The feeling
can make us all wholehearted inside,
if a break-up then occurs we get
confounded because we think we
have lost someone dreamlike because
of the mystic way we just transpired
to be fascinated by them when we
first saw them. The only one to blame
for this is the persons subconscious.
We respond according to our
conscious thinking. Its acceptable to
vacillate if the rest of your body is
telling you to preserve your
safeguard. Love is out there, and its
realistic. But dont try to style
something just because eye contact
made you all tingling inside.
Follow your gut
Is love at first sight a worthy sign
for the future? Should we trail our
hearts and completely chase love at
first sight? We usually should, as such
love is a sincere manifestation of our
reaction. We are all acquainted with
love at first sight, or at least the
impression of it. If you really and
actually imagine yourself with
your gut. Often people may think they
have experienced love at first sight,
merely because they wanted
companionship. There is nothing
incorrect with this, and the individual
you have fallen for may be your
companion for a long time. But it does
not certainly mean its meant to be.
When a relationship shaped by love at
first sight misses the mark, it leaves us
feeling like we lost something fate
had proposed.
Still dont mistake taking someone
for loving someone. Its important to
know what you might be getting into.
Dont fear about what the future
clamps. If its meant to be, it will only
get better with time. If it isnt meant
to be, then live and learn. Always
remember, life is too short to have
regret. We
Stay positive and happy.
Surround yourself with happy,
warm and genuine people.
11
 CHOLESTEROL
FRIEND OR FOE?
C
holesterol is quite a familiar
term in our day-to-day life. You
don't have to look far, within
your family, friends and workmates,
you will find so many
Are you also a cholesterol patient
or know someone who is dealing with
inappropriate levels of cholesterol? If
yes, you have landed on the right
page! But even if you are not a patient
of it and are not aware of anyone
dealing with it, chances are, you will
still need this information, sooner or
later! Because, the unhealthy lifestyle
and deteriorating environmental
conditions have actually made us all
prone to this risky health issue.
According to alarming reports by
Indian Council of Medical Research,
79% of Indians have skewed lipid
levels which consequently kills every
fifth Indian with heart attack.
Cholesterol: Friend or Foe?
The very 'cholesterol' is not deadly.
In fact, cholesterol is found in every
cell of the body and plays several
important roles in producing
hormones, generating Vitamin D and
in food digestion process. It is
manufactured by the body but can
also be taken in from food.
Interestingly, Cholesterol is both
friend and a foe. At normal levels, it is
an absolute friend which is essential
substance for the body. But if in
inappropriate levels, it is a
threatening danger for your health.
Good and Bad Cholesterol
There exist two types of
cholesterol - HDL and LDL. High
density lipoprotein (HDL) is the
"good" and beneficial one and Low
density lipoprotein (LDL) is the "bad"
one. The HDL protects the body
against heart diseases and as far as
HDL is concerned, a higher number is
considered better. HDL levels lesser
12
than 40 is a risk factor because it
increases your probability to develop
heart disease.
On the other hand, LDL is bad
because it gets built up on the walls of
your arteries and increases your
chances of getting cardiovascular
diseases. It further reduces the
amount of blood and oxygen reaching
to the heart and thus causes chest
pains and heart attacks.
Now, you know how important it is
to have controlled cholesterol levels
to lead a happy, healthy and a
prosperous life with your family. But
many who take cue of usual available
drugs report adverse side effects,
such as, statins and more.
Total Cholesterol Control - The
Natural Way!
Organic India, India's leading
herbal and ayurvedic products
company has an ultimate solution to
get your cholesterol levels in control
and protect you from all kind of risks.
Amidst a wonderful array of their
numerous beneficial health products,
their Lipid Care capsules are an
absolute best solution to all your
cholesterol related worries.
Lipid Care is one best available and
completely herbal cardio-protective
that offers total cholesterol control.
Available in form of capsules, Lipid
Care lowers the level of bad
cholesterol (LDL) and enhances
the HDL (good cholesterol).
The regular dosage of the capsules
reduces the heart's workload by
lowering heart rate and blood
pressure.
Its miraculous natural formula is
such that it reduces the workload
on the heart.
Lipid Care capsules also contain
active antioxidants that
dynamically protect the heart
tissues.
Womans Era July (First) 2017
Also shows significant results in
reducing the triglycerids.
Each vegetarian capsule of Lipid
care is a miraculous natural
formulation of incredible herbs with
medicinal properties like, Arjun,
Harjor, Amalaki and Vana Tulsi.
Arjuna, a deciduous riparian tree
native to India is being used to treat
cardiovascular ailments since time
immemorial.
It effectively reduces LDL and
increases HDL levels. It inhibits
hepatic cholesterol synthesis and
increases the fecal bile aid excretion.
It further reduces the workload of
heart by lowering heart rate and
blood pressure.
Harjor, a perennial plant of the
grape family, native to India,
Bangladesh and Sri Lanks forms a
crucial constituent of Organic India's
Lipid Control capsules. It works well
to reduce body fat mass, blood
glucose level, body weight and the
bad cholesterol. Its magical
properties also help to increase
cholesterol levels.
The another great ingredient that
forms these amazing capsules is
Amalaki, an antioxidant rich herb that
lowers triglycerides and blood
cholesterol levels. Preventing
atherosclerosis and relieving
oxidative stress are yet another
important functions played by it.
Last but not least, the Vana Tulsi
obtained from the dense forests is a
sureshot winner when it comes to
reduce total lipid, blood glucose and
total cholesterol levels.
The natural way is always far more
better and effective when it comes to
cure health problems. And with this
magical blend of four natural herbs,
Lipid Control capsules are just what
you and your dear ones need to live a
life free from dangerous cholesterol
issues. We
 e
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 W
e all love to look at a
beautiful woman, talk about
her, wonder about her.
She's got it all right? The great job,
beautiful friends, a date every night,
men falling over themselves to be
noticed and doors being opened for
her both literally and figuratively.
Okay, let's face it. When we meet
someone new, the first impression is
about looks; only later do things such
as personality, brains and character
start to take on meaning. As Penelope
Lively said, "I'm intrigued by the way
in which physical appearance can
often direct a person's life; things

PERCEIVING
BEAUTY
Depends on ones outlook.
By Swetha Sundar
happen differently for a beautiful
woman than for a plain one."
Is beauty a universal standard? Or
is it in the eye of the beholder? The
word beautiful holds more meaning
to it than you would think. It could
mean you have a beautiful soul, or a
beautiful smile, or you are a drop-
dead gorgeous angel that fell from
the sky. The famous saying beauty
lies in the eyes of the beholder does
seem to reflect the enriched human
culture, nature and perceptions of
what beautiful is. While South
American, Latin and Spanish countries
give a lot of importance to physical
attributes while defining beauty,
Europeans attach a lot of importance
to fair skin and elegance, Indians view
beauty as having beautiful eyes, long
lustrous hair and fair skin (the
growing spate of fairness creams
is testimony to that) while in
countries such as Saudi Arabia,
whose dress codes do not
reveal more than the
womens eyes, women
tend to focus on
being attractive through their eyes.
Arab women also are fond of
enhancing their eyes with black kohl
to make them look more appealing
and exotic.
Says psychologist Aruna Broota,
Ive studied the patterns my patients
(a group of about 20) show in their
concept of beauty and compared
them to each other and my own and
have discovered that healthy is the
only common feature of beauty. No
matter what the shape, colour, size,
etc. of a persons features are, the
impression of health given by hygiene
and skin care are the only
commonality. In the end, beauty is
definitely in the eye of the beholder,
sometimes even to the disgust of
friends.
Cancer survivor Anni Mehta says,
The most beautiful people we have
known are those who have known
defeat, known suffering, known
struggle, known loss, and have found
their way out of the depths. These
persons have an appreciation,
sensitivity, and an understanding of
life that fills them with compassion,
gentleness, and a deep loving
concern. Beautiful people do not just
happen. Beauty is this word that is
often thrown around conditionally.
Its another category that can
sometimes feel esoteric. To me,
beauty is a celebration of everything
in our liveseven the stuff that we
shove deep down in hopes of never
seeing that ugliness againits the beauty arsenal
organic substance that fuels our
gorgeous smile, and breathtaking
laugh. Beauty in its rawness cant be
faked.
Unfortunately, we rely on beauty
authorities quoted in the media to
define beauty for us. The standards
and criteria of beauty set by the
media have been manipulated and
bastardised and are wrong, absurd
and unrealistic. Our role models have
become 20-something starlets and
fashion models whose photographs
have been carefully orchestrated,
airbrushed, photoshopped and
drastically altered.
We must learn to interpret beauty
as a package of physical and mental
attributes that meld into a person
who is beautiful on the inside and out! your authentic intention instead of
The ageing process is inevitable, and it being attached to the outcome.
is futile to chase lost youth and, to Asking questionsespecially
some, perceived lost beauty. Do not why? and how?is always
climb on that treadmill to nowhere of beautiful because curiosity is
crazy fad diets or magical face creams beautiful.
that claim will erase wrinkles. Instead, If you can string words together
develop what I call a healthy vanity into a sentence, and youre brave
routine by choosing a reasonable diet enough to let someone else read it,
and realistic exercise regimen. That thats beautiful.
combination will do wonders for your Flat stomachs are beautiful,
body and your self-esteem. Learn to absolutely, but big, soft bellies are
recognise and appreciate the beautiful, too. They are your babys
beautiful qualities in yourself and first home!
others in every decade of life. Beauty It is beautiful to speak another
does not lie in physical features alone. language. It is beautiful to try.
It's about the whole package: physical Beauty is putting paint on canvas,
beauty, mental strength, warm or strumming a guitar, or capturing
personality and personal a stunning moment in a picture, or
presentation. dancing with your eyes closed.
So stop looking in the mirror and Creating is always beautiful.
seeing the glass as half empty. Your eyes are beautiful. Nobody
Instead of looking for flaws, embrace else has eyes like yours. They are
your positive characteristics and deep and authentic and instantly
figure out ways to enhance them. recognizable.
Stop wishing for someone else's nose Beauty is being brave enough to
or hair and fall in love with your own. embrace your feelings- the good,
A face can be structurally imperfect the bad, and the ugly.
but still beautiful.
Intangibles make
a woman
beautiful, and
you must
recognise those
wonderful quirks
that you possess
and be proud of
them. Develop a
consisting of clothing
that fits well and enhances
your attributes. Create a solid
hair-and-make-up routine, and
exercise to stay healthy and build
your confidence. Confidence is the
real secret here! A confident woman
is a beautiful woman.
Beauty is everywhere! Just look
around and feel and see beautiful in
all things small and inconsequential.
Find that real beauty within you and
keep it alive.
You are beautiful when you are
afraid to do something, and you do
it anyway.
Resilience and persistence are
beautiful.
Beauty is a daring action built on
 Remember the time your best
friend called you while she was
crying because only your voice
could calm her down? That was
beautiful.
Beauty is laughing so hard your
stomach hurts and you glow from
within.
Beauty is not letting ignorance be
mistaken for truth.
Beauty is calling someone out for
saying something hurtful, even if
you werent the one getting hurt.
Your legs are beautiful. No, really.
They are. Admire the curve of your
calves, the muscles in your thighs,
the peaks and valleys of your knee.
Letting go of a toxic relationship?
Ah, what a beautiful relief!
You are beautiful when you rock
out so hard at a concert that your
neck is sore the next day.
Intelligence is beautiful.
Humour. There is nothing more
beautiful than laughter.
Compassion is very, very beautiful.
Beauty is wearing an outfit so
fierce that when people
compliment you on it, you accept it
gracefully and confidently.
Strong opinions are beautiful.
Respecting other peoples strong
opinions is beautiful too.
Beauty is your hometown, whether
you love it or hate it, because it
helped shape you who you are.
CANCER SURVIVOR
ANNI MEHTA SAYS,
THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE WE
HAVE KNOWN ARE
THOSE WHO HAVE
KNOWN DEFEAT,
KNOWN SUFFERING,
KNOWN STRUGGLE,
KNOWN LOSS, AND
HAVE FOUND THEIR
WAY OUT OF THE
DEPTHS.
Beauty is telling a joke only you
think is funny and laughing so hard
nobody can hear the punchline.
Walking away from a relationship
platonic or romantic because you
know it is the only way to truly love
them is to stop trying to change
them, and let them be who they
are. That is most beautiful.
Deep breaths are beautiful.
Listening is beautiful. Choosing to
respond instead of react- even if
you dont want to hear it- trusting
that there is always something
valuable in someone elses words.
Your bare face in the
morning is beautiful. Ask the
people who love you. Its true.
The way our bodies tell the truth
we blush when we are attracted to
someone, we blink twice when we
lie, we get sick when were pushing
our mental limitsis beautiful.
Having faith in someone elses
word, because we know weve
been true to our own. That is
beautiful.
Beauty is being comfortable
enough with someone else to be
silent.
Beauty is being able to walk
gracefully in high heels.
Beauty is digging your bare feet
into the sand.
Beauty is sitting very still with your
thoughts.
It is beautiful to find the strength
to ask for help when you need it,
no matter how successful you are.
Beauty is loving your pet as much
as they love you.
Beauty is a fresh flower in your
hair.
The physical remnants of our life
experiencesstretch marks, scars,
wrinkles, and sun spotsare
beautiful.
Wisdom is beautiful.
Humility is beautiful.
Beauty is the sweaty satisfaction of
a hard workout- moving your body
in the way it was meant to.
It is beautiful to finally share your
secrets and confide in someone.
Beauty is the ability to see the
humour in the darker, sometimes
neglected parts of our life.
Beauty is being able to truly enjoy
the food you eat.
It is beautiful to be grateful to all
the strong people who came
before you: the ones who raised
you, the ones who fought for your
rights, and the ones who were
burned at the stake because they
were too powerful.
Giving birth is beautiful. Rebirth
as many times as necessary- is also
beautiful.
Freedom is beautiful. You are free
to fill your life with the things that
make you happy. You have a
choice.
Happiness is beautiful. Never be
ashamed of being happy.
All in all, the truth is, true beauty is
something that lasts with age, no
matter how many plastic surgeries or
Botox ops one may have to stay
young. All you need is a smile on your
face and no matter what corner of the
world you travel to; you will be
beautiful in the eyes of the beholders.
If your heart and mind is not young,
you can never be beautiful forever.
And I am not saying that to just make
you feel better. Or am I? We
Live for today and not tomorrow,
Live for the now and whats here,
Stop living for what maybe or what
may never come,
Live for the day already here.
Sthoorryt
S
Its Called
Teenage Love
The crush that crushes. By Heera Nawaz
First time, first love,
Oh, what a feeling is this?
Electricity flows,
With the very first kiss.
R
anjit, you will be
coming for the `Disco
Night dance party
this evening, wont you?
Now, its high queried 18-year-old Maya to
her younger brother, Ranjit.
time you emerged Ranjit, as usual, replied
from your self- enthusiastically and with
imposed shell and gusto, Of course, I will be
mix with others coming as it will be my first
dance party! You know, I am
without going already beginning to get
overboard, said butterflies in my stomach,
and the proverbial goose
Maya, like the
flesh.
good protective Ranjit, you dont have to
elder sister that
she was.
be so nervy. Take it easy.
Cool down, said Maya
practically.
Telling that to a 17-year-
old like me on the threshold
of adolescence is easier said
than done. You know how
reticent, aloof and
introverted I really am, said
Ranjit.
Now, its high time you
emerged from your self-
imposed shell and mix with
Maya
turned to leave
but not before saying,
Okay, Ranjit, be ready by
6 pm sharp for the dance
party as we will be going in our
chauffeur-driven car. And
remember just because this
is your first dance party,
theres no need to
overdress.
others without going
overboard, said Maya, like
the good protective elder
sister that she was.
But, Maya, teenage
years are all about extremes.
You know we have raging
hormones working in
overdrive to colour our
emotions and feelings in a
really hyper way, said
Ranjit.
Agreed, said Maya.
Teenage years are very
tumultuous and traumatic
since one is neither a child
who is wholly callow and
immature nor is one a full-
fledged adult capable of
taking staunch decisions
head-on. As teenagers, we
have no clear-cut vision of a
structured and appropriate
blueprint to behave as we
should. In fact, it appears
that, as teenagers, we get
the worst of both the
worlds.
R anjit chipped in now,
Maya, you are spot on!
In our teenage years, we are
expected to make far-
reaching, lifelong decisions
on careers, family and
friends all this when we
cant even make a decision
on what brand of soap we
want to buy!
And it doesnt help that
our parents arent from Gen
Y to empathise with us. They
really dont understand our
generation, as in their times
they lived in a world without
i-pads, touch screen mobile
phones, DVDs, video games,
Ninendos, Kindles and
Facebook. However, we have
all these major distractions
and yet we are expected to
score above 90 per cent in
our PUC examinations and
Common Entrance Test. Else
we will be denied admission
into the competitive
professional colleges. This,
you know, is crucial, for
otherwise the rest of our
lives will be bound in
shallows and miseries, as
Shakespeare wrote in
Julius Caesar, said Maya
quite dramatically.
Yes, Maya, we are
expected to do so
well
academically,
yet there are
so many
distractions
that it is almost
impossible to
concentrate and
remain
focused and
undauntedly
determined.
So the thing to kinds of paraphernalia. There
remember here, Ranjit, is to were pictures of Katy Perry,
remain grounded and not get Taylor Swift and Shakira
too carried away by adorning the walls, all the
emotions and feelings, for singers looking like real eye-
one might reach what is candy. Then, since Ranjit was
called a pressure cooker a fitness freak and
stage, ready to burst. enthusiast, there were
Instead, one should strike a dumbbells and in one corner
balance and be rational,
sensible and practical at all
of the room there was a
stationary exercise bike to
times, said Maya
conclusively.
Well said! exclaimed
keep himself in shape. Since
Ranjit had taken a fancy to
books, there were plenty of
Ranjit. books all around the place
written by authors like Robin
M aya turned to leave but
not before saying,
Okay, Ranjit, be ready by 6
Cook, Franklin W. Dixon and
John Grisham.
How many times Maya
pm sharp for the dance party and their parents had
as we will be going in our admonished Ranjit to be
chauffeur-driven car. And organised and tidy, but their
remember just because this scolding fell on deaf ears, for
is your first dance party, in our modern-day set-up,
theres no need to overdress. finding an organised, tidy
Do the dressing as a and neat teenager is like
component of it. Remember, looking for a needle in the
this is just a casual, informal proverbial haystack!
dance party not a wedding Ranjit had turned 17 just
reception. last week and was
So saying, It immeasurably
Maya retreated was filled with touched when
to her room energetic, jostling his father
and Ranjit to bodies, swaying gifted him an
rhythmically to the loud disco
his. Ranjit music, with songs like Jennifer
authentic
surveyed his Lopezs Waiting for Night, Parker pen
bedroom, Michael Jacksons Beat It and and a
which was Celine Dions My Heart Will birthday card
strewn with all Go On, playing to the on which was
delight of the young
crowd.
written the following poem
by Rudyard Kipling,
If you can fill the
unforgiving minute
With 60 seconds of
distance run,
Yours is the Earth and
everything thats in it,
But what more, you will be
a man, my son!
R anjit was aware of the
fact that his parents had
pinned their hopes, dreams
and aspirations on their only
son, and he should,
therefore, not let them
down. However, as Maya had
rightly pointed out,
teenagers had unpredictable
emotions, temper tantrums
and mood swings due to the
hormones that prevail during
the adolescent phase.
Ranjit was also aware of
the changes he was
undergoing physically. His
voice had deepened and he
had a fine growth of hair on
his chin and upper lip. He had
grown three inches in one
year, and it was therefore not
surprising that his friends
had nicknamed him `Lambu.
However, Ranjit was
aware that these changes
were palpable, acceptable
and perhaps even bearable.
What was not in his
jurisdiction of control was
that he still lacked aplomb,
confidence and spunk in the
department of
communication and public
relations. He could not
for the life of him
approach the
opposite sex and
talk freely and
uninhibitedly.
This could be
because until Std X,
Ranjit had studied in an
all-boys school. So the
repercussions were that
he felt extremely
awkward, embarrassed
and tongue-tied in the
company of girls, particularly
the pretty ones. He knew
Maya, his elder sister, was
aware of this lacuna and she,
on her own, used to give him
doses of confidence-
boosting pep talks. He was
aware that she wanted him
to emerge from his shell and
mix freely with others. As she
had said, By being shy and
lonely, you are losing so
much of what the beautiful
world has to offer.
mortified and fearful than
ever? You know I am not
good at facing rejection.
Just as Ranjit was
unburdening his fears to
Maya, Mohit, a tall,
handsome and smartly
turned out older teenager
approached Maya. After
asking her, Care to join me
on the floor? he whisked her
away to the dance floor, not
entirely against her will.
Ranjit sat alone surveying
the dance room. It was filled
face and figure, which, Ranjit
mused, could easily, like
Helen of Troy, launch a 1000
ships.
He had seen her before,
but never dancing and never
this decked out. She had
long, black straightened hair
that swung from side to side
as she danced. She had large
enchanting doe-like eyes,
subtly lined with eyeliner,
while her pink-painted lips
were smiling mysteriously.
She was wearing a purple
to show how smitten Ranjit
really was. It was obviously a
case of `First Love.
In the days to come,
Ranjits mind was working in
overdrive and, as everyone
knows, if a teenage boy has a
crush on a girl and really
means it, even wild horses
cannot hold him back from
pursuing the girl in question.
After two days, Ranjit did his
own detective work (which
teenage boys are famous for)
and reliably found out her

R anjit went to the

bathroom, took a quick
shower, dressed in a pair of
dark blue corduroy trousers
and a light blue Louis Phillip
shirt and bow tie. He sprayed
a whiff of eau-de-cologne,
put on his black boots and,
after having placed his smart
phone in his tight trouser
pocket, he was ready and
enthusiastic enough to take
on the world.
Meanwhile, Maya had got
ready in a pretty pink flowing
gown. They got inside their
Hyundai car and within short
span of 15 minutes, they
arrived at the Cosmopolitan
Club, the venue for the dance
party. Once inside, with the
bright lights, loud disco
music and the sea of people,
Ranjits bravado seemed to
have melted like ice, for
again he had become his
usual diffident and nervy self.
The reason was, although he
knew that he had the upper
hand, he didnt take the
initiative in almost all cases.
In dances, the guy or male in
question asks the girl to
dance and not the other
way around. Now Ranjit was
jittery when the ball was in
his court, as he had no guts
to return it.
He sounded his fears and
apprehensions to Maya,
Suppose I ask a girl to
dance, and she says, `No.
Wont that make me more
with energetic, jostling
bodies, swaying rhythmically
to the loud disco music, with
songs like Jennifer Lopezs
Waiting for Night, Michael
He sounded his
fears and
apprehensions to
Maya, Suppose I
ask a girl to dance,
and she says, `No.
Wont that make
me more mortified
and fearful than
ever? You know I
am not good at
facing rejection.
Jacksons Beat It and Celine
Dions My Heart Will Go On,
playing to the delight of the
young crowd. The timeless
music from the DJs console
catered to the wild fancies
and fantasies of teenagers
who jived to the tunes, as the
moving lights kept changing
colours. All around, one
could see lively, animated
faces of enthusiastic
teenagers.
While Ranjit, looking
every bit as a reclusive wall
flower, was listlessly
drumming his hand on the
chair to the beat of the
music, he spotted her. She
was a teenage girl with the
most beautiful, awesome
and black silk dress that was
gathered at her slim waist by
a gold-braided belt. In short,
to the lovelorn Ranjit, she
looked truly ravishing. He
had fallen in love with her
hook, line and sinker!
Ranjit felt that he would
not be doing justice to his
emotions if he asked some
other girl to dance while he
certainly did not have the
guts to ask her. So, as the
minutes slipped past, he was
almost in his own world, in a
trance. He was shaken rudely
out of it when Maya tapped
him on his shoulder, saying,
Its 10 oclock time to head
home. When he didnt reply
immediately, she followed
his gaze and said, Oh, you
seem to be really hung up on
Rita, arent you?
Ranjit blushed as he
hadnt realised that his
staring, had been so obvious.
O nce back home, Maya
and Ranjit joined their
parents for a quick dinner.
Then it was time for bed.
Ranjit still under Ritas
bewitching spell, all that he
could think of was Rita, Rita,
Rita! That night he had a
strange dream Rita had
turned into supergirl while he
had turned into spiderman
and both of them were flying
towards each other. As
absurd and preposterous as
dreams can be, it only went
address, her apartment not
being too far from his.
Starry-eyed and replete with
rosy dreams, Ranjit knew
that he had thought and
fantasised enough now it
was time for action.
T he next morning, Ranjit
sauntered past Ritas
apartment on his way to
college. To his utter glee and
delight, Rita was on the
balcony. Ranjit smiled at her
awkwardly and she smiled
back. Actually, to a more
objective-minded person, it
would seem to have been
more of a supercilious smirk,
but to the lovelorn, obsessed
and infatuated Ranjit, it was
a smile all right.
He was thrilled and
euphoric, as he started to
daydream that perhaps his
feelings for Rita were
reciprocated, and that was
why she had smiled back.
The next day, Ranjit did
some more detective work
and he got her mobile
number. In the evening, with
his heart beating chaotically,
he dialled her number,
mustering up the courage to
speak to her what his heart
had rehearsed so many times
before. Finally, he got in
touch with her and heard her
saying, Hello.
He blabbered nervously,
Rita, this is Ranjit. Would
you come with me for a

20 Womans Era July (First) 2017

movie The Theory of
Everything?
Rita was, flabbergasted.
She said in a very surprised
tone, Well...
Nervous and dreading
rejection from his first
attempt at dating, Ranjit
quickly mumbled, Its okay.
Ill pick you up at 3 pm
tomorrow. Bye for now. He
disconnected the call,
breathing heavily.
Sunday, dawned bright
and clear. The morning with
its rush of newspaper
reading and household
chores quickly passed. At 2
pm, Ranjit got ready in a
black tuxedo suit and,
without informing his family
members, made his way to
Ritas apartment.
He was happy but
nervous. Ranjit was the
perfect chaperone who
escorted Rita to the theatre
with utmost chivalry and
civility. He even had the
thoughtfulness to buy her a
gift, a simple placard, on
which was written, `First
Time, First Love. He gave it
to her in the theatre. The
biopic movie, he thought,
was apt to show his deep
love as it was about the
outstanding Stephen
Hawking and the story of his
life and love. Though the
award-winning movie was
authentic and had layers of
meaning, Ranjit was more
concerned about making his
first date successful.
At the end of the movie,
Ranjit escorted Rita back
home. The whole time Ranjit
had been eager to please
Rita and so had, not really
observed her reactions to his
overtures. Indeed, if he had,
he would have been deeply
chagrined, for Rita, though a
beautiful girl, was far from a
congenial person. She was
haughty, conceited and had
no humility whatsoever. Her
bloated face glowered with
contempt and angst.
Ranjit arrived home
singing the song, Tum Hi Ho
from Aashiqui-2, trying to
emulate Arijit Singhs pining,
grave voice.
R anjit rang the doorbell
and Maya answered it.
Maya looked at Ranjit and
said slowly, Ranjit, I want to
talk to you. Its about Rita.
What about Rita? asked
Ranjit, sharply. Though he
had pretended to be flippant,
her name had made the
colour rise to his cheeks and
he was trembling.
Ranjit, lets get straight
to the point: do you like
her? asked Maya.
No, `like is too small a
word. I love her, answered
Ranjit defiantly.
Have you found out
whether she loves you?
countered Maya.
Ranjits face looked
paradoxical, I dont really
know, but since I love her so
much, I can make her fall
for me, cant?
Maya tried another
Ritas younger sister. I just
wanted to know whether I could
have this placard, which you gave
my sister. You see, I used to see
you passing our apartment and
I think she giggled at this
strategy, Do you realise that
shes my age, which means
that shes older than you?
So what? Since when
does true love have an age
factor? Didnt Ashton
Kutcher fall madly in love
with Demi Moore even
though she was older than
him?
And how long did that
relationship last? continued
Maya in the same patient
tone.
Well, closer home,
theres Abhishek Bachchan
who fell for the older
Aishwarya Rai. That worked
beautifully, didnt it? said
Ranjit in defence of his
argument.
Maya knew she must
remain patient. She said,
The point that Im trying to
make is that, in any
relationship, both sides
should reciprocate and
acknowledge each others
feelings and emotions.
I dont know how to tell
She
smiled so sweetly
and said, Hi! Im Priya,
point that Ive a crush
on you.
you this without hurting you,
but I have to call a spade a
spade. Rita is not infatuated
with you. She will be coming
tomorrow morning to return
the placard which she told
me you gave her.
What! cried Ranjit hurt.
Maya looked at her dear,
vulnerable and lovable
brother, a person who was a
really nice guy at heart. Not
at all one to cheat and hurt
others, he was always
generous and sensitive to a
fault. She loved him dearly
and knew the gentlemanly
qualities he had. She said
softly, Ranjit, its partly my
fault. I saw how smitten you
were by Rita, so I asked her
to smile at you when you
passed her apartment.
And
And what? shouted
Ranjit angrily, his voice rising
to a crescendo, its tone
showing that he was hurt.
Soon after you phoned
her up and asked her to go
with you for the movie, she
phoned me up saying that
she didnt want to go with
you since she doesnt know
you, but I persuaded her to
go with you since I knew that
if she says no to you, you
would be totally
heartbroken.
T
he realisation sunk in.
Ranjit stood up now. His
eyes were bloodshot and
burning with a fire-like
intensity, as he shouted
angrily, You mean you asked
Rita to flirt with me? My own
sister making a fool of me?
Maya said gently, I just
wanted to make you happy
as I could see how much,
how sincerely and how
genuinely you loved her. I
knew it was definitely not
lust, for you are not at all a
rascal, like some of those
good-for-nothing teenage
boys.
 I could see that you truly
cared for her, for her feelings
and that you liked her in a
very pure and genuine way.
Tears welled up in Mayas
eyes over the plight of her
beloved brother and his
badly bruised feelings in a
situation indirectly brought
about by her.
You and your concern
and good intentions! How
could you have done this to
me? I hate you, I hate you!
shouted Ranjit angrily, as he
left the room, banging the
door behind him.
The next morning, at 9
oclock sharp, the doorbell
buzzed. Ranjit had had a very
disturbed sleep as he had
tossed and turned in bed
wondering how he could face
Rita in the morning. She
would come, as Maya had
said, to return the placard,
which was the ultimate form
of rejection. She really knew
how to nail it.
R anjit opened the door
and got the shock of his
life. There at the door was a
girl who was the living image
of Rita, except that she was a
younger version. She had the
same long black hair,
enchanting doe-like eyes and
mysteriously smiling lips.
Thats where the
resemblance ended. For this
girl did not have the
conceited, haughty and
arrogant look of Rita. Instead
she was simple, humble and
decorous.
She smiled so sweetly and
said, Hi! Im Priya, Ritas
younger sister. I just wanted
to know whether I could have
this placard, which you gave
my sister. You see, I used to
see you passing our
apartment and I think she
giggled at this point that I
have a crush on you.
Ranjit looked at this
sweet, vulnerable and
empathetic girl, who was so
beautiful and who not only
had outer beauty, but inner
beauty as well. She looked
like a nice, well-brought-up
and polished teenage girl
that it was impossible not to
like her.
Ranjit looked at her and
said, You know something?
I think Ive a crush on you,
too!
Priya narrowed her eyes
suspiciously and asked, To
what end?
To a beginning
quipped Ranjit, as they both
looked at each other and
burst out laughing.
S weet Sixteen Priya and
`Sturdy Seventeen Ranjit
became good friends from
that day onwards. Ranjit felt
really great when he
escorted her to dance parties
and asked her to join him on
the floor. Ranjit had gone
through some pretty tough
`growing-up pains but, in
the end, he had emerged
from them stronger, more
resilient and more resolute.
He truly felt upbeat and a
true go-getter as he had
entered a new phase of his
life, along with his beautiful,
charming and extremely nice
`First Love. We
I think being in love with
life is a key to eternal youth.

My baby was my flesh and blood

And I took care of her
As if she was my 'extended body'.

I was a little upset when she joined college

Attachment
Staying in a hostel, for further studies
And more so when I got her married.

in
I invited her to visit me often
As I was emotionally unstable
And realised that her priorities have changed.

Detachment
Her love for her husband and in-laws
knew no bounds
And I took a seat behind them.

She visited me occasionally

And longed to get back to'her' home
To continue her routine duties.

Seeing this detachment of hers,

My body and mind ached ;
Without proper food and sleep
I suffered from depression
And needed counselling.

And vow! Now I've realised that

I 'should'change from
Attachment to detachment
And that's life after all.
Preetha Rengaswamy.

Womans Era July (First) 2017 23

I have very thick ankles which make me reluctant to wear
pretty footwear and draw attention to them. Is there any way
I can deal with these? I am a well-built but not obese 30-year-
old woman.
Fat and thick ankles, called cankles by some people are
caused by many reasons: genetic predisposition, obesity, fluid
retention, or pregnancy, for example. Treatment is planned
according to the appropriate causes.
Exercise like power walking, jogging, skipping,etc, will help
to tone down ankle fat.
If water retention is the culprit, consult a dietician to sort
out your diets. Cut down on salt and salty foods; drink a lot of
water.
If you are overweight, losing weight will help take the
stress on the ankles and encourage thinning.
A drastic method is surgery ankle liposuction, an
outpatient procedure, but there are some risks involved.
Wear footwear which will hide the thick ankles as much as
possible.
My fingernails are just fine, but the cuticles are ragged and
uneven. This spoils the attractiveness of my hands. Please tell
me how I mend this problem and what causes it. I am an 18-
year-old college girl.
Damaged cuticles can be easily treated with some diligent
care. Dry, torn, peeling or ragged cuticles are usually caused
by the nail-biting habit. Sometimes, a manicure done by
inexpert beauticians can also result
in damaged cuticles. Again, if your
hands are exposed to harsh
chemicals in dishwashing soaps, in
gardening, washing clothes, etc, the
cuticles tend to soften and peel.
Nail-polish removers containing
acetone also bruise the nailbeds and
cuticles.
Massage in petroleum jelly into your nails at nights, giving
special attention to the nailbeds and cuticle. Pull on some old
cotton gloves or socks on the hands .
Dip your fingers in a bowl of warm water for a few minutes
to soften the nails and then massage in olive oil firmly into
the nails and cuticles. Jajoba oil, avocado oil or tea tree oil
are also very effective.
Cuticle cream available over the counter can also be used
for your problem.
Many parlours offer the hot wax treatment for split nails
and ragged cuticles, which you can avail of.
I have heavy breasts which cause me some embarrassment. I
have heard that there are some home remedies to decrease
bust size. Can you please enlighten me?
The easiest way of decreasing breasts size is by losing
weight, and, of course, cosmetic surgery. Drink green tea,
ginger-turmeric tea and neem leaves extract with honey to
lessen weight.
Always wear carefully-chosen supporting bras which will
give your bosom a neat, contained appearance.
The home remedies you mention are not authenticated,
24 Womans Era July (First) 2017
but many swear by them. You can give these a try and see if it
helps.
Soak 2 tbsp of fenugreek seeds overnight; grind to a paste
and apply on breasts for 10 minutes. Wash off. Do this daily for
at least 2 weeks for a result, if any!
Some women think that well-beaten white of egg mixed
with onion juice can be applied on the breasts for 20 to 2
minutes daily to shrink their size. Again, this claim is not
scientifically authenticated.
I am a 22-year-old college girl who loves wearing sneakers.
The problem is that my feet become very smelly. Please tell
me how to deal with this odour issue.
It is very important to keep your feet absolutely clean.
Wash with medicated soap, not neglecting the parts between
toes. Pat-dry and use talcum powder before you slip on
footwear.
Feet odour can be reduced by soaking feet in a basin of
water containing vinegar. You can also use rock salt in the
foot bath to fight bacteria and smells.
Anti-fungal oils like tea tree oil, aloe vera cream and tulsi
water can also keep your feet smelling good.
Keep your footwear clean and hydrated. Wash whenever
possible, and air in sun.
Avoid spicy foods, garlic and alcohol which cause smelly
Q
perspiration.
A
&
Beauty
Queries
My eyebrows have very few
hairs, and I long to have thick
luscious brows. Is there any way I can fulfil
my wish? I am 17 years old and just out of
school.
The nature of brows, like so many other things, is
determined mostly by hereditary factors.
You would have perhaps seen that sparse brows run in the
family?
Castor oil works wonders on stimulating hair growth. Apply
a little bit on the brows daily and firmly massage into the skin
at night. In the daytime, this could make your face look messy.
So, avoid daytime use.
Use a matte eyebrow powder to fill in the empty areas
between brow hairs. This should match the natural colour
closely, so that it does not stand out. Use a very light hand
when doing this.
A more permanent solution is to tattoo in some
extrahairs. Done under the hands of an expert tattooist, it
creates a very natural and lush look in the brows.
Retouching may be required but only after a couple of
years or so.
PARENTS OF
SUCCESSFUL CHILDREN
DO THIS
Ways to help your child get ahead.
A
s parents we all wish we had a
route map that would
guarantee our child a
successful future. Every parent wants
their child to excel in life, be a well-
groomed and honest adult. There
might not be a definite formula to
actualise this wish, but we have
enough scientific evidence to
believe that parents and their
parenting ways have a profound
impact on how successful their
children turn out.
Most parents are obsessed with
By Lesley D. Biswas
academic excellence. In todays
competitive world, a good result is
considered the only way a child can
get ahead of others. It will surprise
you that besides academic excellence
there are certain other skills research
identifies that a childs successful
future depends upon. Studies have
also cautioned of overenthusiastic
parenting and how unsuspectingly we
might be doing our children a huge
disfavour. Here is find out what you
should and what you shouldnt do as a
parent.
Household chores
Gone are the days when children
helped around the house, took out
the garbage, watered the garden and
learnt how to rustle up a quick
breakfast. With children already
strapped with academic and extra-
curricular activities, not to forget
tuitions, the concept of doing
household chores more specifically
helping out in the family is
considered a waste of time.
Convenient for children who are
absolved of work, parents further
compound the situation by waiting on
their children.
Recently, while standing outside
the school gate awaiting my daughter
I couldnt but help eavesdrop when I
heard the word chores, and, more
interestingly, kids doing chore. No
way is my child wasting time on filling
water or walking our dog, one
mother shrieked, quickly to add,
Exams are just a month away. When
Rohan sits for a job interview, they
arent bothered if he cant make an
omelette or doesnt make his bed. I
make sure when hes studying, he
doesnt even have to get up for a
glass of water.
Its ironic how today, parents
encourage children to skip chores
hoping kids spend more time on
things that will guarantee success,
when its a proven fact that
household chores in many ways help
children to be successful adults,
explains author of Raising Can-Do Kids
and development psychologist
Richard Rend in an article published in
The Wall Street Journal website
wsj.com. The next time you cite
academics as an excuse for your child
skipping household chores, remember
chores teach children responsibility
and how work is an integral part of
life according to James Sears, the co-
authors of the book Fathers First
Steps: 25 Things Every Dad Should
Know.
Social competency
Not just chores in our attempt to
make our children academically
perfect, there is a high possibility we
as parents might have overlooked the
importance of development of our
childs social and emotional skills as
well. A sensitive child adjusts well,
empathises with others and has
problem-solving abilities which are
taught as early as kindergarten
according to research by Pennsylvania
State University and Duke University
is considered socially competent and
parents do them a huge favour by
BEFORE YOU PUSH YOUR
CHILD TO STUDY LATE
HOURS OR PUT IN THAT
research shows sleep-deprived
EXTRA STUDY EARLY
MORNING CUTTING BACK
ON THEIR SLEEP
SCHEDULE, BE WARNED
THAT RESEARCH SHOWS
SLEEP-DEPRIVED
CHILDREN ARE LESS
ATTENTIVE, ARE SLOW TO
LEARN AND LACK FOCUS.
reinforcing them since these skills the
study claims prepares them to be
successful in the future. The link
between how the childs future plans
out, the success and well-being, to the
extent that those children who were
weak at them were more likely to
acquire bad habits including
substance abuse is also corroborated
by another study published in the
American Journal of Public Health. So,
think twice before turning down your
childs opportunity to volunteer or to
participate in group activities.
Importance of sleep
Before you push your child to
study late hours or put in that extra
study early morning cutting back on
their sleep schedule, be warned that
children are less attentive, are slow to
learn and lack focus, compared to
children who sleep their required
hours. Sleep shouldnt be viewed as a
waste of your childs time. Instead,
with some effective time-
management tricks help your child
make the optimum use of waking
hours. You can allow your child the
much-needed and age-appropriate
rest their brain and body require.
Overbearing parents
Parents are petrified at the
thought of peer pressure negatively
impacting their childs future. What if
we overbearing parents are more
impactful on a childs future? Yes, as a
parent you too could negatively
impact your childs future in ways you
would never imagine. Like, if you do
not allow your child the liberty to
make small decisions and always point
out to them choices which would
make their lives comfortable. And, the
moment you see your child struggle,
you rush to their aid. If both your
answers are an affirmative, you not
only deny your child a chance to learn
decision- making skill which according
to Psychology Today is crucial for
children in order to grow up well-
rounded adults; in a world that isnt
their comfort zone, you snatch from
them an important opportunity to
validate their choices.
Its natural as a parent to want to
cushion your child against the danger
of failing, but a parents job is to teach
them to fly, not stop them from
discovering their wings. Children must
be allowed to regulate their
behaviour and hone decision-making
abilities and constant control by
overbearing parenting, Dr J. Brien
OCallaghan of Balanced Parenting
says, results in lifelong psychological
damage. Children grow up lacking in
28
self-confidence. In their capacity as
parents, all parents need to do is
guide, spell out the dangers, explain
the consequences and implications
and allow children to make decisions.
Pushy parents
How often do you hear parents
say, I want my child to this, or
that? And how seldom is it their
child wants to do? It isnt uncommon
for parents to try and fulfil their
dreams through their children and a
study which appeared in Public Library
of Science ONE journal warned about
the downside of such parents who
transfer their unfulfilled ambitions on
the childrens shoulders. It explains
why sometimes unwilling children are
ITS NATURAL AS A
PARENT TO WANT TO
CUSHION YOUR CHILD
AGAINST THE DANGER OF
FAILING, BUT A PARENTS
JOB IS TO TEACH THEM
TO FLY, NOT STOP THEM
FROM DISCOVERING
THEIR WINGS. CHILDREN
MUST BE ALLOWED TO
REGULATE THEIR
BEHAVIOUR.
Womans Era July (First) 2017
forced by their parents into doing
things they arent passionate about.
This, research says, obstructs a child
from finding his or her autonomy.
Self-discipline
Self-discipline has many rewards,
success being the surest and sweetest
of them all. A self-disciplined child
sets goals and will stick to them. They
are less likely to procrastinate and
remain focused in life to become
adults whom subordinates respect
and superiors praise. They learn to
control their anger, to follow
directions, that they will be corrected
when they are wrong and there are
some family rules that they must
abide by even though its not their
first preference. In doing so, parents
hand their children valuable lessons
that will stand them in good stead as
adults when life throws challenges
their way.
Relationship between parents
There is a lot beyond studies that
determines how your child turns out.
We are well aware of the far-reaching
implications a parents relationship
bears on the child. Happily-married
couples lead to emotionally sound
children. Cardyn Pape Cowan and
Philip Cowan the psychologists couple
at the University of California
correlate this fact when they say that
parents relationships with each other
and their own childhood experiences
contribute tremendously to how
healthy children grow up emotionally,
academically and socially. The home
must be an emotionally healthy place
for children to learn how to be in a
relationship to be able to forge their
own successful relationships in the
future, which is also a part of being a
successful adult.
And, most of all, as parents we can
be role models whom our children can
look up to when they need inspiration,
fall back on when they require
support and share their successes
with when they are happy. We
Never have regrets because at one
point everything you did in life was
exactly what you wanted.
 Top-paid celebrity

Boycott fizzles out

Once Spotify's most
visible critic, pop
superstar Taylor Swift
on 9 June returned her
music to all streaming
services as the Singer Beyonce with her Grammy trophies is seen in the press room
number of artists during the 59th Annual Grammy music Awards in Los Angeles,
to boycott the California. Rapper Diddy was the world's top-paid celebrity in the
booming format past year, earning $130 million in the past 12 months, Forbes said in
dwindled. All of its annual list on 12 June.
the 27-year-old
singer's music
including Performers with the 'Arcadia Spectacular' display are
"1989," her suspended high above the ground as they take part in a
blockbuster rehearsal at the Glastonbury Festival of Music and Performing
last album, Arts on Worthy Farm near the village of Pilton in Somerset,
appeared on South West England, on 23 June.
Spotify and
other
platforms at
midnight
(0400 GMT)
on the US
East Coast.

Suspended performance
 Benefit concert
Jesy Nelson, Perrie Edwards, Leigh-Anne Pinnock and
Jade Thirlwall of Little Mix perform at the One Love
Manchester benefit concert for the families of the
victims of the 22 May, Manchester terror attack, at
Glenn brown painting displayed

Emirates Old Trafford in Greater Manchester on 4 June.

A painting by British painter and sculptor Glenn Brown is

displayed at Gagosian gallery during the preview day of Art Basel
the world's premier modern and contemporary art fair on 13
June in Basel. Art Basel was held from June 15 to 18 in Basel.

An interaction with parrots

Record-breaking pizza

Leila Khauliani, on vacation from Russia, interacts

with parrots at Jungle Island as Florida Governor
Rick Scott announced that the number of tourists
visiting the state had greatly increased.

Volunteers spread cheese onto the pizza

base as they successfully break the
Guinness World Records title for Longest
pizza with a length of 1.32 miles (2.13km) at
the Auto Club Speedway track, in Fontana,
California on 10 June.
Sthoorryt
S
The Uninvited
Guest It changed Anushs outlook. By Arnav Garg
W
hy don't you go
out for a walk,
Anush? The
weather is so lovely," Sarita
Chauhan told her son
casually, keep with no trace
of worry in her voice. Anush
hadn't stepped out of the
He was awakened house for more than a year
at midnight by now. His skin had turned
constant cries, so pale and sallow; his eyes
were sunken and he had put
he put a pillow on almost 10 kg this past
over his head and year. All he did every day
tried to sleep but was read medical thrillers in
sleep wouldn't the morning, watch
surgeries on the Internet on
come. He lay his computer in the
awake like that all afternoon and study his
night, hearing the medical books from
lunchtime till late into the
sorrowful yelps night.
and to his surprise Anush pretended he
he felt tears hadn't heard his mother. It
was four in the evening. It
sliding down his
cheeks.
He
opened the window
that was always tighly
shut to prevent the dust from
coming in. The yelping got
louder. He looked down and found
nothing. Thinking it was his
imagination, he started closing the
window. That's when he saw it. It
was a tiny little thing and it
trembled piteously on the
parapet near his
window.
was time to study anatomy.
Mihir, his best friend in
school, had got a medical
seat and kept him updated
on the textbooks and
journals that all first-year
medical students were
expected to read. Anush had
made a promise to himself
that he would study as much
as, if not more than Mihir. It
didn't matter, he consoled
himself, that he didn't get a
medical seat in any of the
colleges that he had applied
to. If he read the textbooks
diligently he would be as up
to date as all the other first
year students.
He read for a few hours
and then went online to
watch an appendectomy
surgery. By the time he was
done with his studies, it was
dinner time. He switched off
his laptop and made his way
to the dining table. His
mother and father were
talking quietly in the
kitchen.
"How long am I going
to be stuck in this
room of his?
He has to
get out.
I've brought some
admission forms for
colleges. He should look at
them and start preparing for
the entrances again or find
something else to do," he
heard his father say.
A
nush smiled grimly to
himself. How ignorant
his father was. He didn't
realise that he studied more
at home and was getting a
better education at home
than he was at medical
school. There was no way he
was applying to medical
colleges again.
"Maybe, we should take
him to a doctor, Vish. I'm
getting really worried about
him. He looks depressed to
me, said his mother while
stirring a pot.
Anush froze at the
mention of going to a
doctor. His parents thought
he was depressed. They
couldn't have been more
wrong. He had never been
so focused on his life and
had never felt more
productive. He went into the
kitchen and both his parents
smiled at him with an
insanely-bright smile that
didn't quite hide the worry
in their eyes.
His mother gave him the
plates to set on the table
while his father settled
down at his usual place.
Mercifully for Anush, dinner
was over soon enough and
he thankfully made his way
back to his room. He knew
he looked weird to other
people, but he was
convinced that he was
perfectly fine. His room was
his safe haven a place
where he could be
completely himself and
mould himself into the
person he wanted to be
without judgement. It
represented all the things
that were perfect in his life
his laptop, his cellphone, his
music system, his bed, even
the sheets and pillows,
everything had been
acquired and programmed
to suit his goals and tastes.
He knew every inch of this
room and every hum, whirr
and clink was familiar to
him.
T hat was why, when he
was getting ready for
bed, he knew something
was not quite right. An odd
yelping sound struck a
discordant note in the
otherwise silent and sterile
room. He looked under the
bed and behind the curtains.
It appeared to be coming
from somewhere outside
the window. He opened the
window that was always
tighly shut to prevent the
dust from coming in. The
yelping got louder. He
looked down and found
nothing. Thinking it was his
imagination, he started
closing the window. That's
when he saw it. It was a tiny
little thing and it trembled
piteously on the parapet
near his window.
A puppy, he thought with
disdain. Assuming that if it
got on the parapet, it could
also get down by itself, he
closed the window and went
to bed.
He was awakened at
midnight by constant cries,
so he put a pillow over his
head and tried to sleep, but
sleep wouldn't come. He lay
awake like that all night,
hearing the sorrowful yelps
and to his surprise he felt
tears sliding down his
cheeks. He tried to imagine
how the puppy must feel, all
alone in the cold, dark night
without his mother and
siblings to keep him warm.
It reminded him of the
school he had just
graduated from. How
comfortable he had been
there, warm and much loved
by his teachers and
classmates. Now, he was
out in the cruel, adult world
with no one looking after his
best interests. Both, the
puppy and he, had been
pushed into a world of
His pride was
short-lived, though.
He could still hear
the puppy whining
on the doorstep.
The sound made
him shudder. It
struck a nerve in
him in the same
way that scratching
a blackboard
sometimes did.
expectation and
competition without a soft
place to land on.
He held the pillow over
his ears and willed himself
to sleep. He slipped into a
restless, uneasy sleep.
When he woke up again, it
was early in the morning.
The cries had died and he
sighed with relief. He went
up to the window to look
out. His heart sank when he
saw the puppy. It was still on
the parapet with its eyes
half closed in fatigue. Its
whole demeanour now was
one of resignation and
failure.
He opened the window
again and tried to reach the
puppy with his hands but
Womans Era July (First) 2017
couldn't. He could bear it no
more. He banged the
window shut and made his
way to the living room. He
made it up to the front door,
but then a wave of nausea
and panic gripped him. He
went and sat on the sofa,
perspiration bending his
brow. Could he really make
it in the outside world?
Could he take that step?
Was he really thinking of
stepping outside the house?
H e thought about the
little puppy that had
given up on getting back to
his mother and something
stirred inside him. He went
up to the door, opened it
and stepped outside. It was
just morning, but the
sunlight felt harsh to his
eyes that had become
accustomed to indoor
lighting and diffused
sunlight.
He took the ladder out of
the toolshed and climbed to
the parapet and picked up
the puppy, settling it gently
on the ground when he
climbed down. Relieved
now that the puppy was
safe, he went inside the
house and collapsed on the
sofa. For someone who
hadn't stepped out of the
house for a whole year,
today was a big
achievement.
His pride was short-lived,
though. He could still hear
the puppy whining on the
doorstep. The sound made
him shudder. It struck a
nerve in him in the same
way that scratching a
blackboard sometimes did.
The sound magnified and
echoed inside his head till he
thought he would go crazy.
He opened the door and
took the dog in. It bounded
inside joyfully, taking in the
sights and smells of the
house. Finally, it ran back to
him, stood on its hind legs
and begged to be picked up.
When he obliged, it licked
his face enthusiatically. It
had obviously forgotten all
about the previous night's
trauma and was delighted
by its new environment,
running about and
showering ecstatic gratitude
like only a puppy could.
Anush set it down and gave
it a bowl of milk and bread
that it attacked with the
same gusto. He went into
his bedroom and looked up
the care of dogs on a pet-
care website. He made a list
of all the vaccinations
required, not questioning
why he was making long-
term plans about a puppy he
had known for only a few
hours. When he went back
to the kitchen, his mother
was making herself coffee
and eyeing the puppy.
"What is that doing
here?" she asked.
"It's lost. We need to take
it to Blue Cross or some
other animal place."
"Uh-uh. Not we. You. I'm
not taking responsibility for
this dog. You invited it in.
You do what needs to be
done. I have to go to work,"
said his mother and went
back to her room to change.
A n hour later, Anush
stepped nervously
outside his frontyard with
Breezer under his arm. He
didn't know why he had
named the puppy Breezer,
but the name seemed apt. It
kept flying around the
house as quick as the
breeze. The sun shone
brightly and he squinted
against the harsh glare. He
clutched the dog closer and
tried to flag down an auto.
In minutes, an auto stopped
next to him. For a moment
his mind went blank. "Road
number 78," he stammered,
33
feeling like he had just
awakened from a deep
slumber.
It was an uneventful ride
to the animal shelter, but
Breezer stuck his head out
and enjoyed the rushing
breeze with his tongue
hanging out. Its enjoyment
was infectious and Anush
laughed with the same joy.
He turned Breezer to face
him and the puppy licked his
face sloppily. Suddenly, it
was very clear to Anush
what he should do. "Can you
take a U-turn and stop at
the left?" he asked the auto
driver.
An hour later, he was
back home with Breezer
prancing around his feet.
They had visited the vet and
Breezer had got all the
necessary vaccinations and
check-ups. It was time for
him to study, but he didn't
feel like studying. Breezer
had found a new home.
He bent down to pat
Breezer and his eyes fell on
the admission forms that his
father had brought the last
night. He picked up the
forms and waited for the
familiar ache to invade his
body whenever he thought
about how much hard work
he had put in to take the
entrance exams. He had
been preparing for the
exams for almost two years.
That was two years of his
life that had been totally
wasted; three years,
actually, if he included the
year he had spent
imprisoned in his room. The
pain didnt come.
All he could remember
was the auto ride with the
sun shining and Breezer
licking his face. He had been
afraid but he had conquered
his fear. He felt exhilarated
and wanted to feel that way
again. Breezer had
forgotten his problems and
was enjoying his exciting
new world. Anush knew it
was time for him to find his
exciting new world too. We
The life you live is more
important than the
words you speak.

R
elationship is one of the most not be taken for granted. There may
celebrated words that one can be times when telling the truth may
think of. It is also one of the not seem to be the best option, but
most complicated things to maintain. then there is always something called
While everyone tries to have a the white lie. Now, this is not
relationship, most forget to maintain something that one must resort to all

7
it in the long run. Here are some the times, but it can be helpful when
major pointers to keep in mind to the lie is harmless.
lead a healthy relationship.
Equality for a non-polarised
Trust is mandatory relationship
This is a term which one can find Maintaining same rules for both
in each and every relationship article partners helps in keeping a check on
but despite it, many fail to maintain the polarization of a relationship. A
trust in their significant other. one-sided relationship decays
Doubting one another can, overtime and it becomes painful for
after a while, actually corrode a the person who is putting in more
relationship and this only makes it efforts.

worse.
Communication needs to
happen to and fro
A good relationship works on the
networks of a good communication.
Opening to one another can not only
make you feel better but also helps to
keep the other person on the same
page. If a couple does not
communicate properly they will
end up in a misunderstandings which
will further result in failed
relationship.
Respect after love
This comes from the love one has
for the other. Respect is a
consequence of love. It is earned, not
given. So, expecting someone to
respect you without actually putting
Essentials
For a healthy long-term
relationship.
By Sanjana Saini
any effort is a baseless calculation
which must be erased.
Honesty is not an option
but a necessity
It is truly the best policy and it
stands even in the case of a
relationship. Being true to your better
half is an essential element and must
Similarities need to be there
Even though the belief of
opposites attract is true, two people
must have common and shared
interests to be with one another.
Having similar views on finances, for
example, is very crucial as many
arguments in the long run are based
on money issues and this can be a
very bad subject to ignore.
Privacy and space matter
It is not possible that two
individuals (be them friends,
family, or lovers) share each and
everything all the time with one
another. Although good
communication is mandatory, but
some personal space for the
individuals is also a must. We

34 Womans Era July (First) 2017

 MONSOON SPECIAL
12 CARE TIPS GARDEN
W
hat might seem to be a very
happy season for your
garden, the monsoon
season given that the plants get
naturally watered and growth is
prolific its also a time when your
plants are the most vulnerable and
need special care. Here are some tips
that will help your garden not only
cope with the rains but also thrive.
Since we notice a spontaneous
growth in plants during the rains we
tend to want to fill our garden with
new plants this season. Not all plants
do well during the monsoon and,
although ferns, palms and foliage
plants tend to thrive, avoid investing
in cacti, succulents and most
flowering plants except the monsoon
varieties.
The reason why plants tend to
do better during the rains is that
rainwater being non-chlorinated
serves them well. While your outdoor
plants enjoy the rains unobstructed,
make sure you allow your house
plants an occasional outing in the rain
too. A rain-shower not only
rejuvenates them it also cleans the
leaves of grime and dust and ensures
pores are opened, encouraging better
growth.
Plants also stand a chance of
getting damaged by direct heavy
rainfall and breaking due to water
logging. Keep potted plants out in
light showers only and use a shed or
Making better use of the
rainfall. By Lesley D. Biswas
temporary shelter to shield delicate
outdoor plants and saplings which
might not tolerate heavy downpour.
Use collected rainwater to water
when heavy rain makes it difficult for
plants to be taken out into direct rain.
There is also a chance of strong
wind and occasional hail which can
play havoc with your garden,
especially to new leaves and buds.
Wind barriers like a natural hedge
around your garden or a temporary
shelter like a tarpaulin which you can
remove once the wind or hail
subsides, will save your garden to a
great extent.
If the lower leaves of your
plants turn yellowish and begin to wilt
despite the soil appearing moist, its a
sign that the roots are waterlogged.
This happens either when your plants
receive too much water or the
drainage is inappropriate.
Clay pots are better suited for
plants, especially during the monsoon
since they allow free oxygen to
penetrate through the sides of the
pot and the soil to facilitate the roots
respiration and also permit excess
water to evaporate.
To avoid over-watering, make
sure the soil is well dried out before
watering. Since there is a lot of
moisture in the atmosphere, even if
top soil appears dry, do not rush to
water plants. Test to see if inner
layers are moist, only then water if
completely dried out. Also, ensure soil
is well drained and no water
stagnation occurs.
Cacti and succulents need extra
attention since their water
requirements are a lot different from
other flowering and foliage plants.
Keep them away from direct rain and
water only when the soil is completely
dry, preferably after a week or 10 days.
Womans Era July (First) 2017
Before the end of the monsoon
replenish the soil and fertilise it to
ensure the nutrient content in the soil
does not get leached out during the
rains.
Pruning before the onset of the
monsoon ensures that new shoots
sprout with the rains.
Since the spells of sunlight are
scattered during the monsoon make
sure your indoor plants get sufficient
doses of sun each day. If your pots are
positioned to receive the morning
sunlight, you will have to shift them
around to ensure they get the most of
sunlight, be it morning, noon or
evening.
If there is one thing more
charming than the pitter-patter of
raindrops its got to be the songs of
the frogs. Even in cities, if a proper
place is provided to them, you can
hear them sing. To invite frogs over to
your garden keep a small body of
water where these creatures could
live. Fountains and flower pots with
water are great frog shelters. Frogs
also eat insects and protect your
garden plants from pests, especially
during the monsoon. We
And last, but not least; when you do
something, do it well.
35
 R
agini, a software engineer in a
multinational company, settled
down very comfortably in her
sofa, started to calculate how much
she had managed to invest for the
future of her family and herself over
the last 12 months of her job. But
unfortunately she could not move
ahead beyond the grand sum of a few
thousand rupees in her savings fund
account plus mandatory deductions
for the share in the contributory
provident fund (CPF) and group
Working Women
Bold and beautiful yet insurance scheme. However, her
husband, working as a human
badly prepared for resource Manager in a management
institute, had huge investments which
taking investment he had made in a string of policies,
schemes and various other bonds and
decisions. mutual funds of both the private and
public sectors.
By Shreeprakash Sharma In fact, this is not the tragic
saga of only Ragini in a
patriarchal society like
ours where, unlike men,
women are customarily
and genetically
regarded to be
weaker and less
capable in the
matters of financial
management and
investment-making
decision processes. As
per DSP Black Rock, a
mutual fund company, only 18 per
cent of single, working women make
their own investment decisions while
nearly 77 per cent of the working
women absolutely depend upon their
spouses, parents and other reliable
relatives. In yet another survey it has
been revealed that 92 per cent of
working women are involved in the
investment decision-making process,
out of this 70 per cent of these
women are joint decision-makers.
And, most importantly, as much as 52
per cent of these are not so fortunate.
They are only informed where their
hard-earned money has been invested
by their husbands, parents and close
relatives.
Further, when it comes to the
matter of trust in the financial
institutes, it is really a bizarre fact that
88 per cent of working women trust
nationalised commercial banks, while
43 per cent of them have full faith in
the private banks. In case of issue of
trusting foreign banks for the
investment purposes, the percentage
figure of these working women even
plummets further down to as low as
merely 24.
Following points may considerably
help the working women in their
efforts of making wise investment
decisions.
Know the reasons to invest
With the rise in the prices of
commodities the rate of inflation is
persistently rising every year. The
average rise in inflation per year is
said to be between 7.5 and 8 per cent.
This high rise in the consumer price
index considerably brings down both
the values of money and the standard
of living of the common masses.
Though you might have saved money
in your bank account, this would not
fetch you much in the long run to
sustain the same style of life which
you are enjoying now. So, it is very
much desirable that you must make a
rational decision to invest in those
segments which yield you very high
returns to ensure a better and
promising life ahead.
Prioritise your financial goals
While making decisions to invest
your money in various segments, you
must not forget about your goals. You
must be very specific about setting
goals for all the financial investments
you are planning to make. It also
means prioritising your financial
goals. The goals may be divided into
two short-term or mid-term and
long-term. Suppose you need to
purchase a house in the span of 10
years or a car in five years, then the
best investment choice would be in
equity or real estate whereas, if you
are planning to pay only college
tuition fees or down payment for the
purchase of vehicle next year, then
what is most suitable is to invest in
some short-term investment policies.
Investments in stocks, bonds and real
estate are considered as long-term
investments. Investment in trading
securities makes short-term
investment. Building an emergency
fund also proves to be one of the
important short-term investments.
Do not ignore yourself
Benjamin Franklin had said that in
this world nothing can be said to be
certain, except death and taxes.
There is no denying that we are
always seriously concerned with
protecting our money and assets for
the future and for this we take the
help of investment professionals and
financial experts. We purchase many
of the policies and invest our hard-
earned money in various high-returns-
inducing schemes. A majority of the
people are really fortunate to have
their money well managed by
professionals and financial experts.
But what they usually overlook is
themselves. They dont get insured
themselves. In fact, insuring oneself
directly means insuring the financial
well-being of your family and
dependants. So, a good rule of thumb
is you must first have your life
insured. Before insuring yourself it is
necessary to take into account your
total liabilities. These liabilities may
well include various types of debts,
inter alia, childrens education loan,
home loans and car loans. Your
insurance must be in proportion with
all these liabilities which you need to
liquidate in the years to come.
Dont underestimate the
importance of hard cash
Life is uncertain and contingencies
as well as vicissitudes are its
inevitable parts. Investing your hard -
earned money is a good decision but
keeping aside a few months worth of
inocme in the form of liquid is golden
decision to brave the urgent needs
which may crop up at the moments
when it is least expected. Keeping
sufficient amount of cash with
yourself helps a lot dealing in daily
transactions and serves as medium of
precautionary measures.
Start now do not procrastinate
The great entrepreneur and the
founder of Apple Inc once had said,
SO, IT IS VERY MUCH
DESIRABLE THAT YOU
MUST MAKE A
RATIONAL DECISION TO
INVEST IN THOSE
SEGMENTS WHICH YIELD
YOU VERY HIGH
RETURNS TO ENSURE A
BETTER AND PROMISING
LIFE AHEAD.
Sometimes when you innovate, you
make mistakes. It is best to admit
them quickly, and get on with
improving your other innovations. In
this 21st century global age of
information technology, there is no
dearth of information, guidance and
counselling. From professional help to
the experts suggestions to the social
networking sites and finally to the
Internet browsing, we are virtually
surrounded with details of risk-free-
high-returns policies and lucrative
investment schemes in the market
which we need to make deep research
into.
They say that the longest journey
of the world starts with a single step.
So, start making decisions about
investing and that would fill you with
amazing confidence. There is no other
way round. So, start investing and
thereby taking risks. Only a persistent
investor can make you a master
investor.
Womans Era July (First) 2017
Do the basic homework
It means a working woman must
calculate how much money she can
comfortably invest in the market. For
this she must have clear-cut
calculations of all the annual financial
liabilities and then decide about the
best avenues available to invest in.
Further, you must consider the goals
for which you are planning to invest,
either for short-term goal or long-
term goal. Dont be afraid of the risks
which are always there, both in
business and life.
They say that no one is ever
perfect and we learn most when we
commit mistakes. That is why learning
is called as a life-long process. So, be
confident and start taking decisions
by yourself to make investments
which would end up providing you
courage, high returns and a beautiful
future.
Who can deny that in the 21st
century when we are living in a
knowledge-economy age where
information rules the roost and
economic independence is considered
as one of the best parameters of the
individual identity, social status and
the healthy development of culture
and civilization. It is really ignominious
if women, who make half of the
population of the world, remain
bereft of the immaculate knolwdge of
tools of investments and thereby
badly fail in securing their valuable
earnings for better returns. We
Darkness cannot drive out
darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only
love can do that.
37
 Simply
Cooking is just a matter of taste. Here is Pineapples square cookies

the way to some unusual preparations. By Anupama Gupta

square of 1 cm thickness. Cut the 11/2 tsp red chilli powder
PINEAPPLES smaller squares and insert tooth 1 tbsp sugar powdered
SQUARE picks and bake at 180 degree for 8-
10 minutes.
1 tbsp cumin seeds crushed
2 tbsp tamarind chutney
COOKIES salt to taste
INGREDIENTS: METHOD
1 cup maida
2 tbsp butter
STUFFED FRESH Quarter tomatoes and remove
inside carefully. Beat curd, add 1/2
2 tbsp pineapple jam
1/ tsp baking powder
TOMATOES cumin, salt to taste, 1/2 sugar, keep
aside. Keep the quartered tomato
4 INGREDIENTS:
tooth picks boats aside. Pressure cook chola
6 firm ripe tomatoes
METHOD and dal till soft. Drain and mash
2 cups fresh curds, beaten
In a bowl sift flour and baking coarsely. Add garam masala, red
1 cup boiled chola
powder and mix in butter and chilli, 1/2 sugar, cumin, salt, mint,
2 tbsp channa dal
pineapple jam and make a dough. ginger. Heat in a heavy pan,
1 tsp ginger grated
(use very little milk if stirring continuously, till a soft
1 tsp mint leaves finely chopped
needed). Make it a lump is formed. Adjust seasoning
1 tbsp coriander leaves finely
and salt if required. Fill each
chopped
1/ tsp garam masala powder tomato quarter with this mixture,
2
pressing down gently into hollow.
Arrange side by side in a shallow
dish. Pour seasoned curds over the
quarters to cover all. Drizzle
tamarind chutney over it, and
sprinkle a few pinches of red chilli
powder. Garnish by sprinkling
chopped coriander leaves.
Serve immediately as a snack
or a salad.

Stuffed fresh
tomatoes
FRIED CABBAGE
CAKES
INGREDIENTS:
1 cup chana dal
1/ tsp red chilli powder
2
1 clove garlic
1/ tsp garam masala powder
2
1/ tsp saunf
2
a pinch hing
1 cup shredded cabbage
1/ cup shredded carrot
4 Spicy cucumber relish
1 onion sliced
1 tbsp coriander leaves
oil to deep-fry
salt to taste
METHOD
Wash, rinse and soak the Chana
dal in enough water for 1 hour.
Drain the dal and add it to the
blender. Add red chili, garlic,
garam masala powder, saunf, hing,
salt and grind to coarse batter
without adding water. Transfer to
a bowl. Chop finely cabbage,
carrot, onion and coriander leaves.
Add to the batter. Mix everything
very well. Add 1 tbsp of gramflour.
This helps to bind the batter good. SPICY
Heat oil in a fry pan. Take a small
ball out of the batter and flatten
CUCUMBER
to Vada shape. Drop it in hot oil RELISH
carefully. When one side of the INGREDIENTS:
cake is cooked, flip it over and 2 cucumbers
continue frying on low medium 1/ tomato
2
flame. Fry the cabbage cakes till 1 onion
golden brown and crisp on both 1tbsp grated cheese
sides. Drain on paper towels to 1 tabsp butter
remove excess oil. 1/ tsp black chilli powder
2
Yummy Cabbage cakes are 1/ cooked rice
2
ready. sauce/chutney
METHOD
Cook the rice. Finely chop the
capsicum. In a pan melt butter,
saut onion, capsicum. When done
add tomatoes, grated cheese, and
salt and pepper and finally rice. Let
it cool.
Cut each cucumber in half and
use an apple corer to hollow out
the centres.
You may need to dry out the
cavity, so that the rice will stick
better.
To do this, wrap a chopstick
with a paper towel and use it to
dab the cavity dry.
Stuff cooked rice into the cavity
until the cavity is fully stuffed. Cut
into slices and serve with sauce or
chutney.
Fried cabbage
cakes
 minute. Quickly add chocolate
chips. You would see the
chocolate chips melting. keep
stirring on low heat. The mixture
will start thickening. Continuously
keep stirring.
Sprinkle cardamom powder.
Keep stirring on low flame until
the mixture starts leaving the
edges of the pan. Do not overcook
as then the modaks will turn out
dense. Immediately transfer the
mixture in another bowl.
Allow the mixture to cool. Make
small balls from them. Grease the
modak moulds with a bit of butter
Chocolatey modak or ghee or oil. Place a small ball in
the modak mould. Gently unmould
and repeat the same with the rest
of mixture. Place the modaks over
a greased plate. Garnish with rose
petals, top with finely chopped
pistachios

OKRA PATTIES
INGREDIENTS:
100 gm okra
1 onion chopped
1/ cup flour
2
1/ cup corn meal
2
2 tbsp gramflour
1 clove garlic
Okra patties 1-2 green chilli
1/ tsp baking powder
4
oil to fry
salt to taste
METHOD
Wash, dry and cut okra in small
For garnishing:
CHOCOLATEY 3 to 4 pistachios (pista) - chopped
round pieces. Heat oil and deep-fry
the okra pieces. In a bowl take
MODAK finely (optional)
5 to 6 rose petals (optional)
flour, corn meal, gramflour,
chopped onion, garlic, green chilli,
INGREDIENTS:
METHOD baking powder and salt to taste.
For chocolate modak: Place aside. Heat a pan. Keep Make a batter with water, add
1 cup grated mawa the flame low and add grated okra pieces, mix again and with
1/ cup chocolate chips
3 mawa. Keep stirring on low flame the help of a spoon drop the
2 tbsp sugar or as required for a minute. Soon the mawa batter into hot oil and deep-fry till
1/ tsp cardamom powder
8 would start melting. When the they are golden.
oil or butter or ghee for greasing mawa begins melting, add sugar in Serve hot with chutney or
the moulds, as required the mawa mixture and stir for a sauce.

42 Womans Era July (First) 2017

SPINACH
ENVELOPES
INGREDIENTS:
1cup curd
2 cup flour
100 gm baby spinach
1 onion
1 tomato
1 cup cottage cheese
1 tsp salt and pepper
1 tbsp oil
1 tbsp butter
METHOD
In a pan melt butter and saut
finely chopped onions till they are
translucent, add finely chopped
tomatoes and chopped spinach.
Season it with salt and pepper.
Mix together curd and salt in a
large bowl until smooth. Gradually
add the flour and mix till it
becomes a stiff dough. Knead on a
lightly floured surface, until
the dough becomes soft and
slightly sticky. Place into a clean
bowl, cover and stand for 30
minutes. Divide dough into 4
round pieces. Roll each piece into
a 20-25 cm circle. Sprinkle spinach
and cottage cheese over half the
circle. Fold dough over to form a
half circle and press edges with a
fork. Repeat as necessary. Preheat
oven. Brush one side of each
envelope with olive oil and cook
until the top is golden. Gently turn
envelop and cook until golden.
Spinach envelopes
Taco salad with
homemade tortilla
bowls
TACO SALAD
WITH
HOMEMADE
TORTILLA
BOWLS
INGREDIENTS:
For the tortilla bowls:
4 flour tortillas
1/ cup shredded cheese
4
For taco salad:
1 cup cooked rajma beans
1 tomatoes diced
1 green onion chopped
1 tbsp cilantro chopped
2 tbsp shredded cheese
METHOD
Preheat oven. Coat the inside
bowls. Gently press tortilla inside
bowl. Bake for 14-16 minutes or
until evenly browned. If using
cheese, remove tortilla bowls from
oven 2-3 minutes before they are
done. Sprinkle with cheese and
return to oven. Finish baking until
cheese is melted. Let tortilla bowls
cool in bowls for 5 minutes. Fill the
tortilla bowls with lettuce, rajma
beans, diced tomatoes, green
onion, cilantro, shredded cheese.
CHEESE WAFERS
INGREDIENTS:
1 cup butter cubed
2 cups flour
1 clove garlic
1/ cup cheese grated
4
1-2 green chilli
1/ tsp salt
2
METHOD
Make a paste of chilli and garlic.
Cut butter into flour until mixture
resembles coarse meal.
Stir in cheese, chilli-garlic paste
and salt. Shape into small balls and
roll thin, cut in desired shapes with
cutters and deep-fry till they light Corn walnut dip
golden.

CREAMY powder and cook till sugar melts.

Add vanilla essence.
Cheese wafers
VANILLA FUDGE Pour into shallow square tin
brushed with a little vegetable oil,
INGREDIENTS: and leave for 10-15 mins or until
500 ml milk almost set. It will set quicker in the
3 tbsp butter fridge.
3 tbsp milk powder Cut squares with a sharp knife
3 tbsp sugar and serve.
2-3 drops vanilla essence
METHOD
Take the butter and milk into a
heavy-based pan and heat gently, CORN WALNUT
stirring frequently.
Boil and as the temperature
DIP
rises, stir occasionally. When the INGREDIENTS:
1/ cup cottage cheese
milk reduces add sugar, milk 4
2 tbsp hung curd
Creamy vanilla fudge 1/ cup oil
4
1/ cup lime juice
4
1 tbsp ground red chillies
1/ tsp salt and pepper
2
1/ cup sweet corn kernel
4
2 tbsp chopped walnuts
1 small onion chopped
METHOD
Beat all ingredients except
corn, walnuts and onion in large
bowl at medium speed until
smooth. Stir in corn, walnuts and
onion.
Serve with tortilla chips.
NO-BAKE
COOKIE
INGREDIENTS:
8 tsp butter
1/ cup milk
2
2 cup sugar
1/ cup coco powder
4
3 cups desiccated coconut No-bake cookie
powder
2 cups oats
METHOD oil for frying
1/ cup bread crumbs
Dry roast oats. Melt butter, add 2
milk, sugar, coco powder, coconut salt to taste
powder and oats. Mix and make METHOD
rounds and flatten them cool and Soak rice and Chana dal in
serve. water for 2 hours. Boil 1 cup water
and cook rice and Chana dal with
salt. When cooked take away any Adjust salt to taste. Mash and
MINI-RICE BALLS water left.
Take rice and Chana dal in a
make small balls. Roll them in
bread crumbs and deep-fry till
INGREDIENTS: bowl. Add ginger-garlic and golden. Serve hot with
1/ cup raw rice coconut paste. Add finely chopped sauce/chutney.
2
1/ cup chana dal green chilli.
4
1 tbsp ginger-garlic paste
1/ cup coconut (fresh) paste
4
1-2 green chilli

Mini-rice balls
 pepper powder. Take slices and 1 tbsp chopped coriander leaves
BREAD CHEESE cut them in circle. Take 4 round 1-2 green chilli
RING slices and again cut inner circle. On
one circle spread the mixture and
1 onion chopped fine
1 boiled potato
INGREDIENTS: put another slice which is a ring salt to taste
8 bread slice and spread butter on it, and
1 cup pizza sauce METHOD
garnish with cheese, crisscross Squeeze out water from grated
1/ cup cottage cheese
2 bake at 180 degree till it is golden cauliflower. In a bowl take grated
1/ red yellow green capsicum
4 brown. Similarly, make other rings cheese, mashed boiled potato,
1 spring onion and serve hot.
1/ tsp red pepper powder finely chopped garlic, chilli and
2
1/ cup grated cheese onion. Add in squeezed
2
cauliflower and salt. Mash
1 tsp olive oil
2 tbsp butter
CAULIFLOWER together and give the desired
salt to taste BAKED CUTLETS shape. Grease baking tray and
bake at 180 degree for 8-10
METHOD INGREDIENTS: minutes. Serve hot with
Finely chop capsicum and in hot 11/2 cup grated cauliflower sauce/chutney.
olive oil saut and sprinkle salt. 1/ cup grated cheese
4
Add cottage cheese, pizza sauce, 1 clove garlic

Bread cheese ring ZUCCHINI

CHOLA FRITTERS
INGREDIENTS:
1 zucchini
1 cup chola
1/ cup fresh crumbs
2
1 grated carrot
1 onion
1 clove garlic
1-2 green chilli
2 tsp lemon juice
1 tbsp chopped coriander leaves

Zucchini chola
fritters

Cauliflower
baked cutlets
1 tbsp fresh tomato puree
oil for frying
salt to taste
METHOD
Soak chola for 4-6 hours and in
a mixer, make paste. In a bowl
take grated zucchini, carrot, finely
chopped onion, green chilli, garlic, Creamy
sweet corn
coriander leaves, fresh tomato
puree, salt and fresh bread
crumbs. Add chola paste. Mix
them thoroughly and deep-fry the
fritters. You can make fritters with
the help of table spoon. Serve hot
with chutney/sauce.

CREAMY SWEET
CORN
INGREDIENTS:
1 cup sweet corn
1 cup milk
1/ cup cream
4
1-2 green chilli
1 tbsp chopped coriander leaves
10-20 cashew nuts
1 tsp mustard seeds Sweet hearts
1 tbsp oil METHOD
8-10 leaves of meetha neem Make a coarse paste of sweet
1-2 cloves garlic corn in a grinder. In a kadhai heat METHOD
1/ tsp salt Sift flour and baking powder.
2 oil, add mustard seeds. When
spluttering add meetha neem Rub in the butter to a bread crumb
leaves, finely chopped garlic, consistency, with water make stiff
cloves and green chilli, add coarse dough. Rest the dough for 10
paste of sweet corn and saut. minutes. Divide the roll in 2
Add milk, cream and salt. Keep portions.
on stirring. When it thickens add Roll out each portion in a
cashew nuts. Garnish with rectangle form. Butter one slide
coriander leaves and serve hot. and sprinkle sugar and roll with
the rolling pin, turn over and
spread butter and again sprinkle
sugar and roll with the rolling pin
SWEET HEARTS and from both end sides roll so
INGREDIENTS: that both the rolling sides come to
1 cup flour common centre.
1/ tsp baking powder Likewise do the same for
4
1 tbsp butter another rectangle. Rest in fridge
4 tbsp butter for 15 minutes. Take out, cut in
4 tbsp sugar pieces and bake at 180 degree for
1/ cinnamon powder 8-10 minutes. We
4
Sthoorryt
S
Sweet n Sour Or was it Tom and Jerry? By Geeta Kashyap
A
s I returned home
tired from office, I
came to witness a
big fight that was going on
between my mom and my
You are an old- wife Meethi. Both of them
did not take notice of my
timer. You have arrival. It looked as though
no idea of how a the fight was on for a while
name can ruin now. Both were aggressive
and the fight did not show
ones career. Look any signs of ending soon.
at your sons Mom said, He is our
name familys heir. Everything has
Veeranarasimha! to be done as I say.
I am the daughter-in-
Hah! One would law of this family. I too have
have to spend an my rights. I will do whatever
entire minute to I feel is right, Meethi
replied.
say his name. We have the first right
Thank goodness, to name him.
he introduces It is mine. I shall name
him according to my wish.
himself as just
Ask your parents. It is
Veer, my wife
said with very
dramatic
gestures.
the right of the paternal
aunt.
Your daughter is a
villager. She has given such
ancient names to her
children. I cannot let that
villager name my kid and
spoil his entire future,
Meethi retorted.
How dare you call our
Vara (Varamahalakshmi) a
villager? She is a
postgraduate. Her in-laws
may be agriculturists. That
does not mean she is a
villager. And what is wrong
with her childrens names
Anantapadmanabha and
Anantalakshmi? Taking
As
I returned home
tired from office, I came
to witness a big fight that
was going on between my
mom and my wife Meethi. Both
of them did not take notice of
my arrival. It looked as
though the fight was on
for a while now.
their names is enough to
reach heaven, mom
defended my sister Vara.
You are an old-timer.
You have no idea of how a
name can ruin ones career.
Look at your sons name
Veeranarasimha! Hah! One
would have to spend an
entire minute to say his
name. Thank goodness, he
introduces himself as just
Veer, my wife said with
very dramatic gestures. She
was fuming. She
continued,You know, I did
not want to marry him
because of his ancient
name. My friends convinced
me that he is known
everywhere as Veer, so I
agreed to marry him.
I
wiped my sweat. Where
was their fight heading? I
continued to gape at them
not knowing which party
needed my support. Both
were equally important to
me. Supporting one meant
letting down the other. I
could not even mediate as
both of them were being
aggressive and they would
tear me in two. I thought it
was in the best interest of all
that I should keep quiet, find
out the root cause and then
slowly crawl in to mediate.
Now it was moms turn
to bowl a bodyline. You are
talking as if your name is
pretty. What kind of name is
Meethi? I had rejected you
on hearing your name. If
your dad had one more
daughter would he name
her Khatti? Even though
mom was angry, she smiled
like a winner. She was
successful in shutting up
Meethi. She had indeed
bowled a googly. Now it was
my turn to receive further
balls. Mom glared at me and
said, Your wifes name is
Meethi and she speaks
bitter like methi (fenugreek),
control her. She dashed
into her room wiping her
tears.
M eethi was red with
anger. Tears rolled
down her face. She looked
accusingly at me, stomped
her feet and locked self in
the bedroom. I wondered
how I could calm these two
women. No management
degree or work experience
helps here.
I took a deep breath and
knocked at the bedroom
door. There was no
response. After pleading
many times, wiping her eyes
and nose, Meethi opened
the door. She looked
sharply at me as if I was a
criminal; dramatically
turned her head away from
me and fell face down on
the bed and continued to
sob. I took a sip of water,
cleared my throat and
lovingly asked her, Darling,
please dont cry. Why were
you both fighting?
As if she was waiting for
this question, she said, Ask
your mom, she started it.
From her abruptness I
understood that she
Did I trick you or
did you trick me?
Just because you
were my bosss
daughter I was
being polite to you.
It was you who was
head over heels in
love with me. In
order to please you
and your father I
had to say yes. I
know how
disappointed mom
was, I gave
back in
anger.
wouldnt give in
easily. I
said,Okay,
relax. Let me talk
to mom.
I entered moms
room like a child with a
bad report card. She was
gazing out of the window.
She was breathing heavily,
her eyes were swollen.
I said softly, Mom,
please sit down. Would you
like to have some water?
Mom ignored me. I
repeated, Mom, please sit
down. Tell me what
happened.
Ask your wife. She
started it, mom said in an
emotionally choked voice.
Nobody wanted to say
what happened. I sat at her
feet and cajoled her. Mom
melted a bit now. Wiping
her tears, she smiled
meaningfully and said, We
Womans Era July (First) 2017
will have a small kid in our
home soon. Her eyes
twinkled.
I scratched my head and
asked, Who is visiting us
with a kid?
Suddenly mom laughed
and said lovingly, You are
going to be a father soon
and me a grandmother!
Now that was news to
me. Ignoring that I again
asked, Mom, why were you
and Meethi fighting?
After
a very leisurely
bath, I emerged from
the bathroom, feeling fresh
and rejuvenated. I was now
ready to take on these two
women headlong.
I was surprised to see mom
and Meethi enjoying
snacks together.
Ask your wife. She
started it, mom said again.
Now I was in no mood for
any more riddles.
Impatiently I repeated my
question, Mom, why were
you and Meethi fighting?
Mom said, I was telling
your wife how she should
take care of herself during
this period.
But why were you both
fighting? my pitch
increased.
She started it, bluntly have begun like this!
mom said once again.
What? I almost
screamed. I was now getting
mad.
I mentioned that your
sister Vara had the right to
name your kid as per our
family traditions and that
was enough. She started
arguing disrespectfully.
She continued in the same
breath, It is all your
mistake. Had you married a
girl from our community,
the girl would have
understood and she
wouldnt be rude to me like
this. Your wife doesnt know
how to respect elders. Her
parents seem to have
taught her nothing. She
wiped her tears .
Mom, let us not judge
others, I interjected.
Without caring, she
continued, Your dad left
me alone in this world to see
these days. I am the
unwanted person here.
Book my tickets, I will go
back to Mysore. You be
happy with your wife and
dance to her tunes. Even
between her tears she was
blackmailing me
emotionally. Politics must
49
 I did not know whether
to listen to mom or Meethi.
It was difficult to see mom
cry. So I told mom, Wait,
let me talk to her.
I went to our bedroom.
Meethi was more composed
now. She had overheard
moms talk. She was now
ready with her set of
dialogues. She shut the
bedroom door and said,
Mom is not ready to accept
me as her daughter-in-law
even after so many
months.Why is she dragging
my parents into this mess?
What is the use of telling her
anything? It is your mistake.
Knowing your familys
mentality, why did you trick
me in to this marriage?
Did I trick you or did you
trick me? Just because you
were my bosss daughter I
was being polite to you. It
was you who was head over
heels in love with me. In
order to please you and your
father I had to say yes. I bathroom to freshen up. I
know how disappointed
mom was, I gave back in
anger. Now the war of
words had changed tracks!
Then leave me. Marry a
villager from your
community and make your
mom happy. I will go away
to my parents place. I am
the unwanted one here,
Meethi started crying like a
broken dam.
B oth the women in my
life were blackmailing
me. I was also upset. After a
long day at work I did not
want this kind of
atmosphere at home.
Meethi was as important as
mom. I was trying to resolve
their fight and both were
accusing me turn by turn.
Angrily I went into the
she had opened it for
wanted some time to relax
and de-stress. After a very
leisurely bath, I emerged
from the bathroom, feeling
fresh and rejuvenated. I was
now ready to take on these
two women headlong.
I was surprised to see
mom and Meethi enjoying
snacks together. Mom had
opened her cupboard. She
had understood Meethis
weakness. Meethi had
always been curious to look
into moms cupboard which
was full of gorgeous silks,
gold jewellery, silver and
copper antiques and many
other interesting
memorabilia. Mom had
always enjoyed teasing
Meethi by shutting the
cupboard door whenever
Meethi was around. Now
Meethi and sharing the
trivia attached to those
curios. I was relieved to see
them happy together. I
joined them.
Meethi enthusiastically
showed me moms antique
gold, ruby and pearl set. She
said, Mom has promised to
give me this set some time
soon. I understood how
mom had bargained for
peace. Moms experience
and Meethis naivety had
helped them to bond
together, at least for now.
That night I asked Meethi
about the news of her
pregnancy and why she had
not shared it with me yet.
Meethi rolled her large eyes
and said, I am not
pregnant! Just because my

COVER GIRL
monthly cycle was delayed
by two days, mom assumed
that I was pregnant and

G
auri Rajput hails from small town
Raigarh in Chhattisgarh. After
winning the title of Ms.
Chattishgarh in 2014 she moved to the city
of dreams, Mumbai to pursue her lifelong
passion of acting.
She started her career with roles in
numerous short films and TV serials such as
Saavdhan India, Crime Patrol, Asoka, Bahu
Hamari Rajnikant and Yeh Hai Mohabattein
to name a few.
Throughout her career Gauri has tried
to experiment with different fields,
ranging from fashion shows to print
shoots to theatre, etc. She believes that
acting is an ever-evolving talent and
experiments with movies, serials and
theatre are greatly helpful in honing her
skills.
My family has been extremely
supportive of my endeavours and have
always taught me that where there is a will
there is a way, she says.
Besides holding degree in engineering,
Gauri is an avid painter and dancer.
started saying that Vara has
the right to name the child.
Dont I have the right to
name my own child? In the
morning I shall tell her that
my monthly cycle has begun
and she needs to wait for
the good news. She gave
the look as if to say she had
the key to control the
situation.
I said, Then you will have
to also wait for that ruby
and pearl set. Mom wont
give it to you until you give
her that good news!
Meethis jaws dropped in
disappointment. I was
reminded of the cartoons
Tom and Jerry. I wondered
which cartoon character I
resembled. We
Live each day as if it were
your last because
tomorrow may never come.

50 Womans Era July (First) 2017

 124
128
Readers
Contests
Selected entries will be published in the
forthcoming issue of Womans era. Look
out for 1 August 2017 issue.
Attach a photograph of your friend for a
better chance of featuring in Womans era.
Last date for sending entries: 15 July, 2017

How
R Knowledgeable
MCJ
1st Floor, Shop No. F-2, 4, 6 & 8, Shoppers Point,
Hem Barua Road, Fancy Bazar, Guwahati-781001 (Assam)
are you?
Q1
Which one is not a gemstone?
a. Jet
the
Answeiorns &
b. Shell

125
c. Lapus
d. Mother of Pearl
quest

Q2
There is no accepted grading system for
clarity in gemstones? wanidnprize Winners of Jewellery
Quiz Contest
a. True
b. False
a gr Anita Mishra
H-No. 104

Q3
1st Floor, Nasirpur, DDA Flat,
Pkt-10, Dwarka, Sec-1,
If a step-cut has its corners cut off, what is it called?
New Delhi-79
a. Emerald cut.
b. Cushion cut.
c. Baguette cut.
d. Oval cut. Scoring Terms and Conditions:

Q4
Dont you hate those artificial quizzes that only have one obvious right answer?
What colour of good quality jade is the Jewellery and its lineage is fluid. So answer according to what you feel is best.
most expensive?
Name Age
a. Lavender
Address
b. Red
PIN
c. White
d. Green Phone: E-mail

Q5
Occupation
What gemstone should never be put in an Dont forget to attach a photograph
ultrasonic cleaner? 1. Mark the answers and send us the cutting of this quiz along with this coupon.
The last date is 15 July 2017. So hurry up and post it now. 2. The decision of the
a. Ruby editor will be final. 3. Depict your true self only. 4. Send a photograph of your own.
It may be printed in Womans Era, along with the results. Send to: Womans Era,
b. Topaz Delhi Press, E-3, Jhandewala, New Delhi-110 055.
c. Malachite
d. Spinel
My 12-year-old, school going-girl is obese. I want to know the
features of obesity and how it can be measured.
In most cases the diagnosis will be apparent from the
patients appearance, but the degree of obesity should also be
assessed usually by measurement of height and weight.
Where the weight of the patient can be compared with that of
an ideal subject of the same sex, height and frame. In addition,
the skin fold sticking over the triceps muscle (muscles of back
part of upper arm) can be measured, using special spring-
loaded calipers. Obesity is indicated by a reading above 20mm
in a man and above 28 mm in a woman. This very common
disorder is frequently overlooked because the doctor is
preoccupied by one of its many complications or ignores it
because it is so familiar. Obesity must be distinguished from a
gain in weight due to fluid retention associated with cardiac,
renal or hepatic disease, bearing in mind the fact that oedema
does not become manifest clinically until the extracellular
fluid has increased by about 15 per cent.
I am a 40-year-old lady working in a multinational company.
Due to long hours of working on computer, I am suffering
from dry eye syndrome since last three years. I want to know
the precautions, which I should take so that I can prevent
myself from the condition.
There are various precautions to prevent from dry eye
syndrome by keeping the temperature of the room low and
moist in which you are working. Take plenty of water and
liquid diet, take more green leafy vegetables and seasonal
fruits, air from air conditioner should
not fall directly on eyes, use humidifier
in the room of air conditioner. When
you are working on computer, blink
the eyes frequently so that tears in
eyes should not evaporate frequently.
When you are working on computer,
after half an hour look at distant object
for one to two minutes and after one hour of working on
computer give rest to eyes for five to 10 minutes. Use
antireflective glasses and antireflective coating on computer
screen. Tobacco and alcohol should be avoided by the person,
who is suffering from dry eye syndrome.
I am a 18-year old girl suffering from thyroid insufficiency.
Due to thyroid insufficiency I have menstrual problem and my
physical growth is also not proper. I want to know the role of
thyroid in menstruation and puberty.
Disorders of the thyroid are at least five times as frequent
in females as in males and simple goitres and adenomas are
known to undergo well-marked enlargement during
pregnancy. In some women the thyroid enlarges at puberty
and at menopause, and the general belief is that the thyroid
increases in size during pregnancy. This possibly is the result
of excessive output of anterior pituitary thyrotropic hormone.
In cretinism the menstrual functions may not develop or if
they do develop puberty is delayed and menstruation is
irregular. In adult myxoedema menstruation may become
irregular and scanty or it may cease. Occasionally, the patients
suffer from excessive menstruation or irregular menstrual
Womans Era July (First) 2017
periods. In hyperthyroidism the menstrual functions may not
be disturbed although in advanced disease patients suffer
from amenorrhoea or oligomenorrhoea.
My 12-year-old girl is recently diagnosed with solitary bone
cyst. I want to know about the disease.
Solitary bone cysts occur mostly in the long bones of
children or adolescents and especially near the proximal end
of the humerus. They also occur occasionally in the small
bones of the adult corpus, especially in the scaphoid or lunate
bone. Single bone cysts often cause no symptoms unless a
pathological fracture occurs. Radiographs show a
circumscribed area of transradiance without a surrounding
zone of sclerosis. The cyst may appear faintly loculated and
the overlying cortex may be distended or fractured. A cyst
must be differentiated from other osteolytic lesions. It may
be confused with a bone abscess, with a lipoid or eosinophilic
granulomatous deposits with localised fibrous dysplasia or
occasionally with a tumour. It should be remembered also
that cyst formation in bones may be a feature of
hyperparathyroidism which must, therefore, be considered in
differential diagnosis. Small uncomplicated cysts do not
require treatment, but they should be kept under periodic
observation. A large cyst should be curetted and packed with
bone chips. If fracture occurs each case must be treated on
its merits, bone grafting preferably combined with rigid
QA
internal fixation will sometimes be required.
&
Your Body
My 14-year-old daughter
has complaint of nasal discharge
and nasal obstruction, sometimes nasal
discharge becoming yellow in colour. For this
problem we have consulted with an E.N.T. Surgeon. As per
his opinion she is suffering from Rhinitis. I want to know your
option about the disease.
Inflammation of the nasal mucosa is called rhinitis. Rhinitis
may be acute and chronic. It is supposed to be due to viral
infection and an acute condition. This is usually complicated
by secondary bacterial infection. A burning sensation is felt in
the nasopharynx. Sneezing occurs because of irritation of the
nasal mucosa. There occurs watery nasal discharge and nasal
obstruction. There may be a rise in the temperature. When
superadded bacterial infection, nasal discharge becomes
yellow or green and thick. Allergic rhinitis is not associated
with fever, discharge contains plenty of eosinophilis. Treatment
consists of rest and warmth, sedation, oral antiallergic tablets,
oral broad spectrum antibiotics when secondary infection is
present, medicated steam inhalation and decongestant nasal
drops are helpful, but treatment can be taken only with
consultation from a doctor. Dr Sanjay Teotia.
53
 I
f you thought monsoon was the
time to give all your fashion quirks
a rest, you may want to think
again! Only, you have to add some
styles in your wardrobe.

Time for short dresses

Monsoon certainly calls for fun
pieces with shorter hemlines. And the
new season wardrobe is incomplete
without a set of crop top and high-
waist pencil skirt. Maxis in lighter
fabrics like chiffon pull off that rare
feat of being both more stylish and
more comfortable than any other
piece of clothing. Usher in a sense of
carefree ease by pairing flowing maxis
with shorts. Effortless, understated
with a bit of an edge. If there's a
definitive trend towards showing off
legs, it has to be this. Wear flats
instead of sky-high heels.
A perfect substitute for the boring
old denims and trousers, this season
opt for culottes. You can team it up
with a basic T-shirt, short kurti, or a
crop top and slay your look! They are
totally a must-have for monsoon.
Playsuits are extremely comfortable
to wear and look totally chic. Opt for
bright colours to feel good about this
gloomy weather.

i o n Tr e n d s
Fas h By Sum
an Bajpai

with style.
Beat the rain
 The good old skirt and top is a PRINTED OR PLAIN, Usually there is a perception that
classic combo for this season. You can denims are not meant for monsoons.
experiment with the print on print SHORTS ARE ALWAYS Yes, they arent very comfortable for
trend. You can even buy formal skirts THE BEST GO-TO monsoons, but denims are very
and team them up with shirts to look
fashionable at your workplace. Opt
OPTION THIS SEASON. practical to wear in this weather.
Denims resist muck and mud like pro,
for A-line or midiskirts rather than PICK LIGHTER FABRICS so therell be less mess. Since jeans
pencil skirts to travel comfortably. LIKE COTTON AS THEY are rough and tough, they wont get
Printed or plain, shorts are always
ARE COMFORTABLE
easily damaged as well. Opt for denim
the best go-to option this season. Pick shorts, capris or even dungarees. Pair
lighter fabrics like cotton as they are AND DRY FASTER them with loose T-shirts or crop tops.
comfortable and dry faster during the Even silk is a great fabric for
rains. Style them up with silhouette
DURING THE RAINS. monsoons. It breaks the monotony
tops and shirts to look trendy and STYLE THEM UP WITH and adds colour to the gloomy
braid your hair for the perfect look. SILHOUETTE TOPS AND weather. Wear crepe silk, art
Pair your shorts with striped shirts or
T-shirts and with statement sneakers SHIRTS TO LOOK
and set out in the streets to flaunt TRENDY.
your fashion to an elevated level.
Cigarette pants are lightweight
and do not stick to your body when
they get wet. It works as both formal
and casual wear. Flaunt your cotton
maxi dresses and skirts. Youll be
comfortable and look stylish at the
same time. Cotton tops and kurtis is
also a great idea. Pair them with
leggings or denims and you are
sorted.

Choose fabric carefully

One should stay away from fabrics
that have a tendency to stick to the
skin during the rains. Fabrics like knits,
linen shouldnt be on the monsoon
rack. Cotton is evergreen. It is one of
the best fabrics to be worn in
monsoons. Itll not stick to your body,
will dry up quickly and will not soak
water. Cotton clothes are also very silk, semi-tussar silk or cotton mix silk.
breathable which make them super These blended fabrics are comfy and
comfortable. Chiffon and nylon are dry up quickly. Mul fabric is also the
really practical fabrics for the rains. perfect blend of style and ease. It is
The best part is that even if you get softer and lighter than cotton, but a
wet in the rain, these fabrics dry up in great option for the rainy season. Pair
no time at all, so you dont have to cotton kurtis with beautiful mul
worry much. Of course, chiffon is dupattas for chic and classy look.
flowy and loose so you feel relaxed. Wear mul kurtis with cotton skirts or
Wear chiffon tops, skirts or saris. You cotton leggings for a casual day
can also wear chiffon dresses in outing.
monsoons. Avoid long ones; you dont The latest fabric which is doing the
want them getting dirty. Ankle-length rounds of international fashion
skirts and dresses would be perfect. buying, is a transparent plastic-like
Pair your chiffon top with shorts, material in bright neon colours, being
culottes or even capris. Wear casual styled for outwear or protective
flip flops or sneakers with minimum raincoat ensembles. Fabrics which are
make-up for an easy, breezy monsoon silicone washed for the monsoon
look. season, and can be stain-proof and to

Womans Era July (First) 2017 55

resist a mud splash during a rainy day.
Natural fabrics like bamboo fibre
make for good monsoon clothes.
Colour palette
You can opt for some bright blue
shorts or skirt to pair with some
neutral white shirts or tank tops.
Bring out the Bohemian in you and
accessorise with chunky bracelets and
funky scarves. Balance your look
between the bright and the muted
colours to create an arresting look.
Aquatic colours are cool colours,
signifying the sea and rain. So it seems
fitting that this monsoon is all about
aquatic colours. Pair your sea-green
top with some fuchsia pink shorts to
create an explosion of colours.
Known for being a warm colour,
orange gives a cheerful look and is
bright at the same time. No wonder, it
is one of the flattering colours for the
monsoon. There are various shades of
yellow with some being very bright,
while some being quite dark. During
monsoons, it is best to go for the
darker shades to prevent any kind of
staining. Besides, a yellow shade
carries with itself a cheerful look. The
grey clouds form a gloomy blanket
over the blue skies and we miss the
colour blue for months. How about
including blue in your dressing and
make-up for the loss? Blue is always
an innocent colour to choose
regardless of occasion or place.
Adding a darker shade of pink to your
attire can certainly add a little sparkle
to the cloudy and gloomy monsoon
days.
Red is one hot and ruling colour.
You can opt for this colour as a dress
or accessory; either as a single colour
or as a mishmash of complementary Tips
colours. If you are in a lively mood, Do not go for white, as it gets
you can wear an aquamarine dress, dirty very easily.
which also appeases your senses. Do not wear salwar or patiala.
Dark coloured churidar and
KNOWN FOR BEING leggings are the smart choice
A WARM COLOUR,
for monsoons.
Instead of wearing long
ORANGE GIVES A dupattas, you should use scarfs
CHEERFUL LOOK AND and stoles. You can also wrap
up your hair with scarves to
IS BRIGHT AT THE protect it from moisture and
SAME TIME. NO dirt.
WONDER, IT IS ONE OF Moist atmosphere outdoors
can make your hair go frizzy.
THE FLATTERING Tying your hair into a neat bun
COLOURS FOR THE or a ponytail or a braid is a
great way to keep it under
MONSOON. THERE ARE control.
VARIOUS SHADES Wear multicoloured beaded
jewellies to kill the monotone
OF YELLOW WITH of dullness.
SOME BEING VERY Add colour to your rainy-day-
BRIGHT, WHILE out expedition by carrying a
cute colourful umbrella.
SOME BEING Choose a floral-printed
QUITE DARK. umbrella.
Give your leather shoes, canvas
shoes, sneakers and stilettos a
miss. Invest in an affordable
pair of rubber sandals, brightly-
coloured flip flops or floaters.
Carry a nice big bag in a solid
colour to keep all your knick-
knacks handy. Invest in a
purple or green bag, the
bigger the better.
Stick to minimal make-up, at
least during your commute.
And dont forget to only stick
to make-up products that are
waterproof; the rains are not
an excuse for smudged
make-up! We
I am a student of class 11 and my best friend is a very social
and popular with the boys in our class. There are rumours
going around that she sleeps around, but I dont care about
this. For me, she is a loyal, helpful and very lovable friend.
Somehow, these rumours have fallen on my mothers ears,
and she is shocked that I am close to this girl. Mom has
forbidden me to invite her home or have anything to do with
her. She fears that even my name will get tarnished. We have
big quarrels in the house due to this issue, and my mother
now threatens to take me out of the school if I disobey her.
Please tell me what to do. We two girls are real close, like
sisters, and I dont want to give her up.
This is , indeed, a dilemma! Your mothers concerns are
understandable. If the stories abounding around your friend
are unverified, tell your mother that these are simply cruel
rumours. You can get the truth out of your friend directly too.
If true, explain your problem to your friend.
Maybe, she will change her behaviour as it is affecting your
friendship. Explain to her the risks of leading a liberal life. If
she is not willing to cooperate, start distancing yourself from
her. It will be painful but you cannot cheat on your mother,
who is after all your most loyal well-wisher.
There is some chance your mother will relent if your friend
visits your home and makes your parent see what a nice girl
she is, even though she leads a free life. But chances of this
happening look bleak.
Please help me remove a tattoo from my upper arm which is
my ex-boyfriends initials. I am an 18-year-old girl who is
engaged to a very lovely man ,
and I dont want him to see this
tattoo. I had got it when I was 16
years old. I am desperate. Till
now, when my fianc and I date, I
have managed to hide this by
Teenache
wearing long sleeves.
We wish more young people
live by the maxim: think before
you tattoo! But, yes, you can get it removed by laser or
chemical peeling or dermabrasion, depending on how deep
the staining has penetrated. You could end up with mild or
severe scarring though and the procedure is definitely not
pleasant.
A better option is to turn the initials into a flower, butterfly
or some other pretty tattoo by some expert tattooist.
Needless to say, go to an experienced cosmetic surgeon or
tattooist for this work.
I am a 16-year-old girl who has been taken care of all my life by
my paternal grandparents and father because I was told that
my mother died when giving birth to me. To my utter shock, I
was informed by a cousin that the truth is that I am a
surrogate child. Since my father was averse to marriage due to
the nature of his work, and my grandparents longed to have
grandchild, they decided to have me by surrogacy.
I confronted my grandmother with this information, and she
admitted that it was true.
I wept for days because they had hidden this. They do love
Womans Era July (First) 2017
me a lot but I long now to see my mother, who is living
somewhere. Please advise.
If you just look around, you will see that surrogacy is pretty
common these days, and almost always the mother is
surrogate and her identity is not revealed due to obvious
reasons. Legally too, there might be clauses which
warrant that her identity is not revealed. It is not a very simple
matter.
For all purposes, you still can believe that you are a
motherless child. Do not hurt your grandparents and father by
insisting on meeting your biological mother. Let things be as
they are now. Your action can create many problems. You are
your fathers child and your grandparents granddaughter.
That is the truth you should live with.
My bestie in class is a very nice girl. We are 13-year-olds in a
good school. The problem is that , frankly, I feel very jealous
when she stands around talking with other girls.
How can I get over this negative feeling, because I know it
is harming our friendship. I tend to be sharp and rude
with her whenever she does this, and she is getting a little
fed up.
The good thing is that you are recognising your negative
feeling and are wanting to root it out. You should accept that
you are feeling a sense of adequacy and inferiority. This makes
you fear that she will abandon you for another girl, or will
start liking you less.
QA
If she is a loyal friend, your fears are
&
unfounded. If she is not, well, you are
better off without her.
Stop depending on her alone for your happiness. Make
other friends too and you too hobnob with them whenever
you wish. This will make your friendship more healthy and
stable, and lessen the sense of possessiveness you are now
feeling.
Lastly, dont feel guilty and blame yourself for feeling
jealous. It is a natural human emotion which all of us feel when
our position is threatened.
This column is especially for teenagers. Adolescence can, we know, be a
trying and confusing time. There are so many questions which seem to
evade solutions. A wrong decision, or an indiscreet move, can spell
disaster and ruin a life. Share your problem, worry or doubt with us and
WE will help you find a way out to a happier, healthier and more
successful adult life. Send your problems to:
WOMANS ERA
E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055, Womansera.com
57

Saif Ali Khan concerned about
daughter Saras film career
S
aif Ali Khan, whose daughter Sara
Alia Khan is all set to embark on
her Bollywood journey, is not too
happy with her career choice. Earlier, it
was speculated that Sara will make her
debut with a Karan Johar film.
However, all such rumours have been
rubbished and now it is confirmed that
the diva will make her Bollywood debut
opposite Sushant Singh Rajput in
Abhishek Kapoors Kedarnath.
In a recent interview, Saif spoke at
length about his daughters yet to start
film career and expressed some serious
concerns over it. Saif, who was last
Saif has spoken at length about
his daughter Saras yet to start
Bollywood film career.
seen in Vishal Bhardwajs Rangoon, said
that acting is not a very stable
profession and actors live in a constant
fear of not getting work despite
succeeding.
Why would she want that for
herself? Look at where she studied.
After having done that, why wouldn't
she want to live and work in New York,
rather than do this?" he said. He further
said that he is not looking down on
Saras choice of career but just
concerned, like any other parent. I am
not looking down on acting, it's just
that it is not the most stable
profession. And everyone lives in
constant fear. And there is no
guarantee that despite doing your
best, you will succeed. This is not the
life, any parent would want for their
children."
Even though he sounded sceptical
of Saras Bollywood journey, he
revealed the incident when he realized
that Sara wants to be an actor. I
remember years ago we'd gone for a
stage show abroad and while I was on
the stage with Salman and other
actors, Sara was standing behind the
stage curtain and looking at us. I knew
then that she wanted this for herself.
Being on stage and people shouting
her name," he added.
But a doting father that Saif is, I am
there if she needs to ask or talk to me
about anything. I know what she is
doing and we talk about films just like
we do about everything else, he
said.
Priyanka Chopra shamed for showing
legs in front of PM Modi
P
riyanka Chopra was recently
slut-shamed by some Indian
social media users for wearing
a short dress to meet PM Narendra
Modi. Priyanka Chopra who was in
Berlin to promote her Hollywood
debut, Baywatch, met Indian
Prime Minister who was also
coincidentally in the same city
for his six-day four-nations
European tour. The global
actress enthusiastically shared
a glimpse of her meeting
along with a thank-you note
on all her social media handles.
But little did she know that she
would end up being massively trolled
for wearing a dress to meet the PM.
Her pictures received massive backlash
and hateful comments. However, the
diva remained unperturbed and didnt
let negativity take a toll on her
Baywatch celebrations. Priyanka chose
not to directly respond to the criticism
but gave a fitting reply to haters by
posting yet another photograph in a
shorter dress.
Priyanka Chopra met P.M. Modi in
Berlin in a revealing dress.
Anushka Sharma looks unrecognisable
and intense in first look of Pari
A
nushka Sharma recently
revealed the first-look poster of
her upcoming flick, Pari on her
social media accounts. As soon as one
hears Pari (fairy), one is bound to
imagine a Disney princess donning
gorgeous attire with sparkling eyes but
Anushkas Pari looks nothing like that.
The actress looks hauntingly fierce in
the de-glam and freckled look. The
blue-hued poster with Anushka an
unrecognisable avatar hints Pari as a
gripping movie.
The film stars Anushka Sharma and
Parambrata Chatterjee in lead roles.
Hindi audiences have seen Bengali
actor Parambrata in Vidya Balan starrer
Kahaani earlier. Anushka is also co-
producing the film, adding yet another
unconventional film to her kitty.
As an ideal husband Shahid Kapoor is
helping his wife Mira Rajput to get
fitter post pregnancy.
Anushka Sharma has never been a
convenient producer and opts for
unconventional projects like NH 10 and
ghost comedy Phillauri. Pari seems to
be her yet another step in the same
Anushka Sharma in an unrecognisable
avatar in Pari.
in a recent statement has said, At
Shahid Kapoor helps Mira Rajput to
get fit after pregnancy
S
hahid Kapoor and Mira Rajput are
yet again giving us some serious
couple goals! Shahid is ardently
helping his wife to get fitter and get rid
of the post-pregnancy fat. The couple
is spotted together on their gym
outings. Shahid has always been a
fitness-freak but to our surprise, Mira
was also into aerial yoga some time
back. Just like any other fitness
obsessed person, Shahid also wants
his partner to get into best of the
shape.
direction. The film also marks the debut
of Prosit Ray as a director; he was an
assistant director of Phillauri.
The shooting of the movie has
already begun and will majorly take
place in Mumbai and Kolkata. However,
not much is known about the story line.
The actors and crew are tight-lipped to
disclose any detail of the film. Anushka
Clean Slate Films, we focus on a good,
engaging story above all else. With new
talent, we get to work on newer ideas
and innovative concepts. Pari is a great
script, and I have complete faith in
Prosits vision as well as this
collaboration with KriArj
Entertainment. Parambrata is also
happy to be a part of Pari and said, I
was impressed with the script and
team of Pari and loved the idea of
working with Anushka Sharma. This
film holds great promise and I look
forward to its shoot soon.
The film is expected to release
next year.
Sources close to him revealed that
he regularly motivates Mira to work
out often and not ignore her health
while being a mom. He consistently
boosts her confidence to exercise and
be fit. Not just this, he accompanies her
to the gym as well. With a gym partner
as good looking as Shahid, who will
refuse anyway?
Shahid and Mira surely make one of
the best Bollywood couples. The
radiance on their faces, ever-glowing
smiles and truck loads of PDA reveals it
all that they both are head over heels in
love with each other. No other couple
has ever inspired the younger
generation to go for arranged marriage
than these two. Moreover, it looks like
after Misha's birth, their love bond is
reaching new heights.
On a professional front, Shahid is
presently busy with the shooting of
Sanjay Leela Bhansalis Padmavati
which also stars Deepika Padukone and
Ranveer Singh.
A couple that works out together,
stays together!
Alia Bhatt sweet confession for
Sidharth Malhotra
W
hether Alia and Sid are dating
or not is not even a question
now. They arrive and attend
every Bollywood event together, speak
heartily about each other and what
not! Beans of their relationship also got
spilled on the last season of Koffee
with Karan.
Both Alia and Sid have till now
maintained a dignified silence about
their relationship but it looks like they
are not bothered about these rumours
Tamasha actor Ranbir Kapoor says
Nepotism exists in Bollywood.
Alia Bhatt says her relationship with Sidharth Malhotra is open.
anymore. In a recent interview, when
Alia was asked if their dating rumours
bother her, she said "It has become
very blah. It has become like second
nature to me. It sounds the same as
something like, Alia Bhatt is 24 and
she lives in Juhu. I dont think of it as
news anymore. It is like, haan, woh toh
kab se pata hai (Ya, I already know this).
It has become a fact of sorts."
Alia also opened up about her being
spotted with Sid at so many parties,
lunch and movies. She almost
compared Sid with all her other friends
Ranbir Kapoor joins Nepotism debate
R
anbir Kapoor has become the
latest one to join the never-
ending debate going on
Nepotism in Bollywood. The star kid,
Ranbir Kapoor was asked about his
opinion on nepotism while he was
promoting his upcoming film Jagga
Jasoos along with Katrina Kaif via
Facebook Live. Within a second, the
Tamasha actor said, Of course, it
exists. It exists everywhere but more
so in the film industry. But how I see it,
I can only speak of my family.
I believe my great grandfather
worked really hard to give his children
an opportunity in their professional life.
I would like to work hard for my
children so that they get the right
opportunity, platform, the right first
but quickly added, "He is and will
always be special." "Theres no denying
that I do spend time with him. So, I am
not going to say that, Oh, I wasnt
spotted with Sid.
I was seen and I am okay with
people spotting me there. I am very
happy going to parties with him and
being spotted at lunches with him. But
I do the same thing with my other
friends as well and spend time with
them too. But Sidharth is and will
always be special. That goes without
saying," she said.
film. After that, its about your talent.
So, yes, honestly, it does exist.
Katrina and Ranbir appeared
together for a Facebook live chat via
Katrinas Facebook account and
were at their candid best. They even
pulled each others legs during the
chat.
A fan also asked the ex-couple to
share the toughest part of Jagga Jasoos
shoot to which Ranbir replied, The
toughest part was that it took three
long years to shoot and four years to
release it and to keep your characters
in check. Whereas, Katrina Kaif
amusingly quipped that to shoot with
Ranbir Kapoor was the toughest part.
Directed by Anurag Basu, the film is
slated to release on 14th July.
Medha Chawla.
Sthoorryt
S
A Groom For Kavi
It wasnt easy finding one for a girl who had no clear
ideas about her future. By Savitri Babulkar
K
avita got up as
noiselessly as she
could, not wishing to
disturb her younger sisters,
Sunita and Namita who, like
her, slept on comfortable
mattresses spread out on the
drawing-room floor. Karan,
Kavis twin, lay sprawling on
Kavita lay awake, the divan that doubled as a
bed at night. There was
sending a silent enough light for her to find
prayer of thanks
for giving them
her way to the bathroom
across the passage. She
stopped suddenly as she
caring relatives. heard her mothers gentle
Her mothers voice from the single
sisters, together, bedroom in their rented
apartment.
had given Mamta We were lucky to have
a sizable cash found really good boys for
gift from their Lalita and Mamta, she said.
meagre savings. I hope we find someone
suitable for our Kavi, too. Her
The parents too, Board exam is over now
were given cash Kavita stood motionless in
the passage, waiting for
in a fat cover.
Narayan to reply. Her father
had always known of her
ambition to start earning a
living. He was invariably
supportive, but she had to
find out what he would say
now.
Come on, Uma, wheres
the hurry? Kavis so unlike
the others, and may not
want to marry just yet.
Besides, youve seen how our
savings have dwindled with
the wedding expenses, he
sounded both sleepy and
tired. A marriage is no joke.
And prices are soaring
Anxiety crept into his voice
and Kavita determined, once
again, to help them
somehow.
Everything will take care
of itself, Uma whispered.
She left all problems to
divinity and refused to spend
sleepless nights worrying
about expenses. But Kavita
had seen her parents
denying themselves small
comforts in order to give
We
were lucky to
have found really good
boys for Lalita and
Mamta, she said. I hope
we find someone suitable
for our Kavi, too. Her
Board exam is over
now
their children the best that
was possible within their
means. Her heart ached for
them. It wasnt easy having
three more daughters to
marry off! They had been
lucky so far for their sons-
in-law, Ramu and Govind,
had made no demands that
most eligible bachelors were
known to make.
S he tiptoed quietly past
their room and switched
on the bathroom light. When
she came back to bed, she
could hear Narayans steady
snoring. It was accumulated
exhaustion. Mamtas
wedding had gone off well.
Umas two sisters, Saras and
Meenakshi, had come from
South Kanara, as they always
did when Uma needed help;
Narayans sister Sharada had
also come from Kolkata
especially to help with the
preparations. They were a
close-knit family. The last
three weeks had been hectic
 making lists, getting
provisions, shopping,
planning, distributing cards,
meeting the contractors and
so on. Narayan and Karan
had moved into the bedroom
where the saris and jewellery
were locked up in a steel
almirah. The drawing room
had turned into a ladies
dormitory crowded but fun!
Kavi had efficiently taken
charge of the invitation
cards, recruiting Sunita and
Namita, who were both in
high school, for writing the
addresses. She was
systematic, and both of them
had enjoyed working under
her guidance. It would be
better if you wrote out the
addresses, Sunnu, Kavi had
smiled. Your writing is
neater. Namu can put the
invitations into the covers,
fix them with cello-tape and
stack them up in neat piles in
the carton. There are 10-odd
addresses, Namu, marked
with a star. Dont forget to
keep them separate. Ma said
they are to be hand-
delivered. Well mail the rest
in a day or two.
M amta was not allowed
to work. A bride needs
to look fresh on her wedding
day, the ladies said.
Shopping for saris was the
only activity she was
included in.
Now, all that hurrying-
and-scurrying was behind
them. The wedding was over
and Mamta and Govind were
on their way to a modest
hotel in Lonavla for a short
honeymoon. Sharada,
having no children of her
own, had scraped and saved
in order to buy a gold chain
for the bride. Her husband,
Shivram, was working
overtime to put aside money
for the other girls. Having no
siblings of his own, Shivram
had grown close to Narayan
and his family. They had all
laughed when a close friend
of Narayans had offered to
lend him a colourful turban
which was the in thing at
weddings! Narayan had
thanked him but preferred
his good old off-white silk
Gandhi cap which he had
worn for Lallus wedding.
K avita lay awake, sending
a silent prayer of thanks
for giving them caring
relatives. Her mothers
sisters, together, had given
Mamta a sizable cash gift
from their meagre savings.
The parents too, were given
cash in a fat cover. Kavi
realised how hard times held
middle-class families
together. Now that she was
growing up, Kavita was
determined to do her bit till
Karan was old enough to
shoulder the household
responsibilities with
Narayan. With his brilliant
academic record, Karan had
managed on scholarships so
far.
Having done reasonably
well in the matriculation
exam, Kavi had joined a
typing class, in preparation
for the six-month secretarial
course that would equip her
for a fairly good job. Unlike
Lallu and Mamta, she was
not the type to sit at home
till the right man came along.
True, they had mastered
home management through
experience and been happy
with the good boys their
mother had selected.
Fortunately, their dreams did
not stretch beyond making a
home and raising a family.
It was different with
Kavita. Having seen the
expenditure at Mamtas
wedding, Kavi had decided
to contribute to the family
kitty, and for Karans
education, if need be. Karan
had managed on scholarship
Womans Era July (First) 2017
at the school level, but he
would need money for his
engineering degree. She
secretly vowed to help. She
was only 16, and her head
was full of dreams.
Thankfully, Narayan
stood by her decision when
the results showed that she
had managed to get a first
class. Fortunately, Karan got
a distinction and approached
the Education Relief Society
for a scholarship. Luckily
they obliged him. But Kavis
mind was made up. Narayan
smiled when she said, The
secretarial course is going to
cost more than we can
afford, Annu, but Ill pay it
back in instalments when I
begin to earn.
However, Uma wasnt
Girls are not
meant to work
outside the
house it is not
really safe, she
had said in mild
protest. Kavis
siblings, thankfully,
stood by her and
she won by sheer
majority.
quite happy about allowing
Kavi to go out to work.
Girls are not meant to
work outside the house it is
not really safe, she had said
in mild protest. Kavis
siblings, thankfully, stood by
her and she won by sheer
majority. Though Uma said
nothing more to Kavi, it was
obvious that she disapproved
of a pretty girl being let loose
in the Big Bad World of men.
All men seemed suspect to
her except the likes of her
sons-in-law, Ramu and
Govind.
Over a period of time, she
had to agree that Kavis
earnings did make a
difference in their lives. She
saw Kavi gaining in self-
confidence and was secretly
proud of her. No wonder the
rich lawyers mother from
the lovely bungalow two
streets away, sent feelers
that she would like to have
Kavi for a daughter-in-law.
Laxmi had not seen the boy,
but he was reputed to be an
excellent lawyer, though
young. Besides, Uma felt
that, at 18-plus, it was high
time Kavi thought of settling
down. So she gently
persuaded her daughter to
allow the lawyer to at least
come and see her.
You have been working
for almost three years now. It
will be foolish to turn your
back on a good offer like this
one. His mother says they
are not interested in a dowry,
you know, and I feel its a
point in their favour.
I have not seen him, ma,
and I have nothing against
him, but I hear they keep
aloof from people. I may not
fit into that kind of family.
Anyway, theres no harm
in giving him a chance. They
said he is free on Thursday
morning, and I told them you
leave for work at 9.45 am.
What do you think?
If he cant make it on a
weekend, I suppose its okay,
ma, but dont ask me to take
leave or anything, Kavi said.
Actually, to be on the safe
side, she decided to tell her
boss that she might not be
able to reach the office till
11.15 on Thursday as there
was urgent work at home.
On Thursday, she waited
till 9.45 am, as promised.
There was no sign of the
lawyer. They have a car, ma.
Being so close by, he could
have come on foot. Anyway,
maybe he is not interested.
Perhaps his mothers
pushing him into it?
63
 Her mothers face fell, so
Kavi looked at her watch and
promised to wait for another
15 minutes. In fact, she
waited till 10. At 10 she
picked up her bag and left in
a hurry. Halfway to the
landing, she heard the sound
of shoes coming up the
stairs. She continued to walk
steadily down the stairs with
her head bent, even as she
felt the mild aroma of an
after-shave lotion waft past
her as the footsteps
continued their ascent.
Reaching the pavement, she
heaved a sigh of relief.
Anyway, it was not her
fault that amma was
disappointed.
With the passing of time,
confidence added to Kavis
beauty. At every wedding,
Sunita and Namita noticed
people turning round to give
her a second look. When
they teased her about it, she
chided them and said they
were biased.
K avi returned from work
on a Tuesday to find ma
and the girls in their finery.
When she raised her
eyebrow they reminded her
that they had to attend
Nirmalas wedding
reception. Kavi bit her
tongue. The pressure of work
had made her forget
everything. Quickly
splashing water on her face
she hastened to change. It
would take time to fix her
hair in a bun. Nirmala wont
mind if Im not decked out,
she said and let her hair hang
in a thick, loose plait that
almost reached her knees,
and hurried out with the
others.
The length of her hair
earned her more than her
usual share of glances. There
was a kindly middle-aged
lady who smiled at them and
proceeded to make friends
64
with Uma.
She probably has a
grown-up son, teased
Sunnu, smiling meaningfully
at Kavi.
Shh What if she hears
you talking like that? Kavi
whispered.
What if? repeated
Sunnu, Shes probably got
your name and age from ma
already.
And the directions to our
place, laughed Namu, All
she needs is your horoscope.
Youve been working for
almost four years now, Kavi.
Its high time you got
married.
Kavi punched him
on the arm, happy
that she had made
the right choice.
The day was filled
with laughter. When
the delivery boy
arrived from the
Udipi restaurant,
Karan gave him a
generous tip. The
girls were in a mood
to tease Narayan
who was normally
rather quiet.
Just because youve
turned 16 doesnt mean you
can speak to your sister like
that. Remember Before
Kavi could complete the
sentence, Uma frantically
signalled to them to hurry up
and join the queue to meet
the couple on the stage.
When they reached home,
Sunnu and Namu were still
talking about the smiling
lady theyd met, when
Narayan returned from a
colleagues farewell party at
the office. He said Karan had
called up at his workplace to
say that he had a long
Womans Era July (First) 2017
weekend and expected to be
home late on Thursday
evening.
Hes asked us not to wait
up for dinner, Narayan
added. IIT was not too far off,
but long weekends were few,
and a good excuse for a
family reunion. Besides,
Karan was doing brilliantly,
so scholarships were no
problem. On his last visit, he
had teased Kavi that since
she did not need to worry
about his fees, she could
save up for her own dowry
or Sunnus. The sisters had
promptly flung a cushion at
his head.
H aving Karan at home
was a special treat.
Though the parents retired
to bed a little after 10.30, the
siblings stayed up till well
after midnight talking and
laughing. Kavi had taken the
next day off. Sunnu didnt
have her tailoring class till
the afternoon and Namu,
who was planning to follow
in Kavis footsteps, had yet
to join the secretarial course.
So they could afford to stay
up late on Friday if they
wished to. Friday turned out
to be fun, for Karan took the
sisters out for a treat at a
Chinese eatery and bought
them simple gifts of their
choice.
You havent won a
lottery, have you? teased
the girls.
No-o-o, but Id saved
some of the scholarship
money and solved a
crossword and won a prize
and
Wow! screamed the
girls in unison, And you
havent told amma, Annu?
Of course, I have. I didnt
tell you girls because I saved
it as a surprise Listen, I
know what surprise gift to
buy for Annu I saw him eye
a Vivekanand book and put it
down when he saw the price.
But, girls, he grinned, I
dont think Im any good at
choosing a sari for ma. Thats
where Ill need your help.
They were too happy to
oblige.
They returned home tired
but content. You can take
an off today, ma, said
Karan. Im going to order
something from the Udipi
restaurant. Kavi promptly
got a paper and pencil to
make a list of the items to
order.
I know its meduwada
and uttappa for Annu; and
rava masala dosa for ma.
What about the rest of you?
When they all spoke at once,
she shouted, One at a time,
one at a time and shook the
pencil in their faces while
Uma beamed at them. She
was highly pleased with the
sari and eagerly awaited
Narayans reaction to the
gift-wrapped book when he
returned from work. Kavi
couldnt quite believe that
things were beginning to
work out for them.
Is it going to be your
treat tomorrow, Kavi? After
all, you have a sizable bank
balance now, teased Sunnu.
I also have two sisters to
marry off, remember? she
retorted.
Oh? And whos the
eldest, pray? teased Namu.
Precisely what I was
about to say, said Uma very
firmly. And everyone
laughed just as the key
turned in the lock to
announce Narayans return
from work. Everyone
gathered together to watch
Narayan open the gift. Then
there was an eager session of
showing off with ohs and
ahs over each gift.
All except Karan, said
Sunnu.
Wait a minute, said Kavi
and disappeared to rush back
again with a packet she had
bought after Annu had
announced Karans visit.
And now, Prince
Charming, its your turn to
open a gift, she said,
dramatically handing him a
gift bag. All eyes turned to
watch him.
He let out a slow whistle
when he held up a beautiful
camera. Theres something
else, Kavi prompted. He
dipped into the bag and
produced a flat packet. There
were half a dozen hankies of
fine white material with a
narrow elegant edging two
each in grey, brown and blue.
Karans eyes shone as he
gave her a hug.
Thanks, Kavi. This is
exactly what I wanted. Tell
me, he smiled, since when
have you become a mind-
reader?
K avi punched him on the
arm, happy that she had
made the right choice. The
day was filled with laughter.
When the delivery boy
arrived from the Udipi
restaurant, Karan gave him a
generous tip. The girls were
in a mood to tease Narayan
who was normally rather
quiet.
Tell us, Annu, what
made you choose rhyming
names for us Lalita,
Mamta, Kavita and so on?
asked Namu. And, to their
surprise, he replied without
hesitation. In college, I had a
classmate called
Prathamesh. His brothers
were Pratap and Pramod. He
always said it was most
embarrassing to have the
same initials; especially
when their letters were
sometimes opened by the
wrong brothers.
Every one burst out
laughing, before he added.
So I convinced Uma that
rhyming names were safer.
Thats the longest
speech you have ever made,
Annu, said Karan, hugging
him. And the day ended on a
happy note for the family.
Everyone stayed up till
midnight even Narayan, as
the next day was a holiday.
But Uma preferred to go to
bed at 10. She had to read,
she said, and a sumptuous
breakfast to plan for Karan.
Your favourite son, the
girls shouted, as they always
did when she made
something that Karan was
fond of.
Im too sleepy to argue
with you, she smiled as she
yawned and got up from the
dining chair. She could rely
on the girls to clear the table.
But Karan insisted on taking
a few photographs in the
drawing room: I must show
the boys what pretty sisters I
have. Ill take a picture of
Amma and Annu, first. Then
we can have permutations
and combinations.
Save some for tomorrow
morning. There are lovely
flowering bushes in the
compound, said Uma before
going to bed. Kavi mentally
decided to get copies of the
family pictures for her
married sisters and aunts.
Early on Saturday
morning they got up to a
tempting aroma wafting
from the kitchen. Wow!
said Kavi, sitting up with a
jolt and rushing into the
kitchen.
Girls, she screamed in
mock horror, I call that
gender-bias. Mas cooked
enough breakfast for an
army just because her sons
home.
S unnu and Namu rushed in
to check. There was idli-
sambar-chutney, home-
made chewda and sheera
Karans favourite sweet.
Meanwhile, Karan returned
from his walk, with not just a
film roll, but potato wadas
and jalebies as well.
You have been spending
lavishly, Karan. Youve not
robbed a bank, have you?
Not yet, Sunnu. Ive
saved a bit from the
scholarship money. They are
quite generous, actually. So,
Kavi, you may stop working
and start looking for a
groom, he added brightly.
On
taking a few
photographs in the
drawing room: I must
show the boys what pretty
sisters I have. Ill take a
picture of amma and Annu,
first. Then we can have
permutations and
combinations.
I dont see any tall-dark-
handsome stranger on the
horizon, do you? she
laughed.
One never knows he
may be just round the
corner, he said with a wink.
Folks. Im famished. It is
almost 10.30. Why dont we
sit down for breakfast?
Wait a minute, let me
first take a few pictures of
the spread on the table, he
said, pushing the sisters
away. Just then the bell rang
and Narayan opened the
door to the smiling lady they
had met at the wedding.
Next to her stood a young
man, whom she introduced
to the family as her son,
Manohar.
T hen there were
introductions all round.
Finally, they all sat down.
Somehow, Kavi got a feeling
that Karan, amma and Annu
had known about the visit,
and had been waiting for
their arrival. That accounted
for the elaborate breakfast
otherwise, a Sunday
breakfast normally meant
kadak pao and home-made
butter with upma or some
simple filler. The aroma of
filter coffee filled the air as
Uma led them all to the
dining table.
Kavi spoke very little, but
listened intently to all that
was said, and picked up
titbits of information. Indu
aunty and Manohar lived in
Dadar and had taken a local
train to Goregaon. Train is
the quickest way to
commute, they said. It
took us less than an hour to
reach Goregaon. And we
walked down from the
station it isnt too far from
here.
about him that she quite
liked. She was comfortable in
his presence. However, there
was one small nagging
doubt. Shortly, Uma called
her into the kitchen on the
pretext of carrying a second
helping of idlis to the table.
When Uma quietly raised
an eyebrow. Kavi smiled. No
objection really, but theres
one small matter Id like to
clarify before you give them
fussy. But there were two
things I wished to know Y-
your mothers not p-pushing
you into this, is she?
Honestly, I wasnt too
keen, initially, to come along
and spoil a Saturday
morning. But once I saw you,
I didnt need much
persuasion, he smiled. She
blushed and looked down.
And what was the
second thing? he
to marry off.
Thats but natural.
Anyway, I dont see any
problem. What you earn is
totally yours, and youre free
to spend it exactly as you
wish.
Oh, thank, you-thank-
you Kavi smiled.
So, now that your doubts
have been cleared, may I tell
my mother that shes about
to get a daughter-in-law of

T he men discussed the

headlines in The Times.
The ladies exchanged
recipes. They discussed
every topic under the sun
except matchmaking.
Kavita smiled to herself,
Manohar was quite unlike
the heroes in romances or
films. Of medium height, he
was smart, not exactly
handsome. But he radiated a
quiet confidence that
impressed her. Besides,
there was an honest look
a definite reply, she
whispered. Uma sighed. Kavi
was never uncooperative,
but she had certain views
which were unshakable. So,
after breakfast, Uma offered
to show Indu the flowering
hibiscus in the compound.
Everyone followed, leaving
Kavi alone with the boy.
It was not easy to start.
For a while, Kavi twisted the
edge of her pallu in her
fingers before bursting out,
I am sorry if I seem to be too
prompted gently.
O-oh that? Actually, I
started working so that I
could help the family. I would
have continued if-if-if
if this proposal hadnt
come up, you mean? Why?
Whos stopping you from
working? Not me, not ma
Thats not all. I would
have liked to continue
helping my parents. You
know, sending them part of
my earnings. A-after all, they
have t-two more daughters
her choice?
Just then the doorbell
rang. When Kavi let them in,
they all began laughing and
talking at once.
Give me a minute,
laughed Karan. Ill go get
the camera to celebrate the
occasion We
Life isnt about finding
yourself. Life is about
creating yourself.
George Bernard Shaw.

You and I, walking hand in hand by the riverside

The breeze so gentle, washed us with its tenderness
The moonlight enough to see each other
We looked into each others eyes.

A life so long and unpredictable stood before us

Promises to be kept

f l i f e
Hurdles to overcome

Road o
Priorities to be set,
Questions to answer.

We smiled at each other

Knowing nothing to say
A life we had to face together
With all its ups and downs
Knowing we are there for each other
Life seemed so beautiful and trouble free
Smiling at each other, we walked together along the Road of Life.
Reshmi Sujesh.

66 Womans Era July (First) 2017

 Spotlight on
Spin a c h
P
lant scientists are currently
finding out whether some kinds
of herbs that are commonly
consumed in perhaps every home can
be put to technological uses. Spinach
is doubtless a household herb,
imparting health and strength to
those who consume it. Just a cup of
spinach provides 200 per cent of the
daily value of vitamins K (upwards
1000 per cent in one cup of boiled
spinach). Vitamin K is of invaluable
help to stimulate proteins that attach
calcium inside bones and prevents the
activation of cells that break down
bones.
Spinach is also said to prevent
eye ailments like macular
degeneration. Much unlike other
herbs spinach helps decrease the
risk of advanced (stages III and
IV) prostate cancer. Spinach is a
must in a large number of houses
as it is surely a great bone builder.
You are, however,
advised to limit its
intake if you suffer from
gout.
Spinach is not merely a
super food, thanks to the
scientists of Massachusetts
Institute of technology (USA) who
have transformed it into sensors that
can detect explosives in a matter of
seconds. By embedding leaves of this
unique herb with carbon nanotubes
employing the vascular infusion
technique, the plants are designed to
detect chemical compounds known as
nitroaromatics that are frequently
used in landmines and in various other
explosives.
The super herb can now detect
mines. By Deepalatha
When one of these chemicals is
present in ground water, sampled
naturally by the plant, there occurs an
emitting of fluorescent signals that
can be read with an infra-red camera.
This camera can be attached to a
small computer similar to a smart
phone which then sends an email to
the user.
This is a novel demonstration of
how we have overcome the plant
human communication barrier, said
Michael Strano, professor at MIT.
Plants are ideally suited for
monitoring the environment because
they already take in a good deal of
information from their surroundings,
Strano further said.
Plants possess an extensive
network of roots in the soil, are
constantly sampling ground water,
have a way of self-powering the
transport of that water up to the
leaves, he said.
USEFUL DEVELOPMEMT
Stranos laboratory had previously
developed carbon nanotubes that can
be used as sensors to detect a wide
range of molecules including
hydrogen peroxide, the powerful
explosive TNT (trini trotoluene) and
the deadly nerve gas sarin.
They also embedded carbon
nanotubes that emit a
constant fluorescent signal
that serves as a reference.
This allows the researchers
to compare the two
fluorescent signals, making it
easier to determine if the
explosive sensor has
detected anything.
In the event there are any
explosive molecules in the
ground water, it takes around 10
minutes for the plant to draw
them up into the leaves, where
they encounter the detector.
This path-breaking study was
published in the renowned science
journal Nature Materials. We
If the facts dont fit the theory,
change the facts.
BOOKING
TRAVEL
PACKAGES?
Things to keep in mind.
By Sudha Hariharan
T
aking a break from your daily
mundane schedule is always
exciting and pleasurable.
Planning a vacation is undoubtedly a
fun task, but the arrangements, the
calculations of time and money, the
bookings and the pressure of finding
the best deal can sometimes be a
time-consuming and painful task.
While there is no dearth of exotic
and attractive tourist locations
waiting to be explored, a number of
factors have to be kept in mind before
embarking on a vacation. Are you a
solo traveller or are you travelling
with friends? Is your family, complete
with children and the elderly,
accompanying you? Is it a business
trip that you want to double as a
vacation?
All these factors have to be taken
into account while sealing your travel
package. While a package deal should
be affordable, it should also ensure
maximum exploration of the
destination and comfort in terms of
food and stay. However, if you have
vulnerable family members like kids
and elderly accompanying you, focus
more on quality than quantity.
 Kapil Goswamy, (CMD) of a travel
company shares tips that can help you
select a good travel package for your
upcoming vacations:
Chalk out a travel plan and
specify your preferences
While booking through a travel
agency, many people tend to ignore
the calendar themselves and rely on
the agents for even last detail
planning. However, it is important to
remember that it is your vacation and
you need to have a fair idea of the
must dos on a particular
destination, even if an experienced
travel agent is planning it for you.
A ready-made package to Kerala
might contain visits of equal duration
to the backwaters, beaches as well as
the hill stations. However, you might
be and out-and-out beach person
desiring to spend maximum time at
the beaches and restricting even
avoiding other places. Your
preferences therefore have to be
specified clearly to the planner.
For this to happen, a rough travel
itinerary must be chalked out in your
mind, complete with locations of
preference, budget as well as number
of days. It is important to have an
outline of your vacation ready before
checking out for travel packages, as it
would help you to remain focused.
Enroll yourself with
multiple travel sites
With plenty of players in the
market, the customer is often spoiled
for choice. However, it helps to
conduct a fair comparison and
research before sealing a deal.
Therefore, it will help you to register
with two-three travel agencies and
sites from which you can receive a
slew of deals, discounts and offers in
your mail. Different agencies might be
providing different packages for a
visit to a particular destination and
you can pick the best one from them
or negotiate with the others.
Popular is not always the best
While dealing with travel agencies
or websites, we often tend to believe
that the most popular ones are
automatically the best planners and
service providers. However, it might
not always be true. Often, travellers
find more lucrative and more
customised solutions from less-known
service providers who are more eager
to build a good image and a loyal
clientele for themselves.
Book round trips
Flight fares are often expensive.
The fares also depend upon distance
and destination. While you may
choose to travel to various places on a
single trip, it is advisable to book
round trips. You must try and book
your flights in a manner that you
depart and arrive at the same airport.
Round-trip fares are usually cheaper.
Say no to extras
Travel packages often tend to lure
by giving you options to select
additional services to make your trip
more pleasurable and memorable.
However, these extra offerings may
unnecessarily add on to your budget.
Offerings such as airport transfer,
shopping assistance and the like can
TRAVEL PACKAGES
OFTEN TEND TO LURE BY
GIVING YOU OPTIONS TO
SELECT ADDITIONAL
SERVICES TO MAKE YOUR
TRIP MORE PLEASURABLE
AND MEMORABLE.
HOWEVER, THESE EXTRA
OFFERINGS MAY
UNNECESSARILY ADD ON
TO YOUR BUDGET.
be avoided if you want
to save cash. Keep the
deal to the basic
minimum.
Travel agency should
be open 24 x 7
Be careful while choosing
your travel agency; choose
one which will be readily
available to help any time.
On vacations, travellers
may often need urgent
assistance to locate hotels, revise a
booking or initiate any emergency
change of plan. Therefore, it is
advisable to book with a travel
company that offers 24 X 7 assistance.
Plan your trip in time
The old saying the early bird gets
the worm is absolutely true when it
comes to vacation planning. Flight
fares are significantly cheaper if
booked more than a month in
advance, and so are hotel rates.
Online travel companies as well as
hotel chains now offer significant
discounts and special offers for Early
Bird bookings. Also, by booking
late, you might miss out on the best
beach view hotel in town and may
have to settle with an ordinary one. In
case of last-minute bookings, you are
left to select from the available
options and also paying a higher price
for the services and bookings.
Check the facilities
If you are on a business trip, make
sure before sealing the deal that all
the facilities required for making your
visit comfortable and successful are in
place. Whether the hotel offers wi fi,
conference rooms suitable for your
meetings, facilities such as fax,
foreign exchange etc are crucial
details which need to be pre-
ascertained. We
Life isnt about how many breaths
you take but about the moments
that take your breathe away.
Ltoonrgy
S
Part - II
Smoky stuff Amazing conclusion. By C. J. Nandakumar
Coonoor tea estate manager Bhattacharya has died under mysterious circumstances.
Inspector Vikram is out on the trail of the killer.
Y
es, I need this to be
done within an hour
and mail it to my mail
ID. Dont forget to make the
call. I am expecting your call
any moment from now.
Remember, time is of the
The letters BBB essence.
The mobile phone rang.
in the rhombus
Inspector Vikram picked it up
monogram and his face brightened up as
indicates one of he heard the voice of
the foremost Srikanth at the other end.
Tell me, my friend, any
words in the world interesting evidence came
of pipes, Britain's out of that death note?
Nothing interesting as
Best Briars, a
you expected it to be. It is not
company that has at all a cryptic note for a
been excelling
murder plot.
since 1856 and is Inspector Vikram lost his
still improving to steam.
this day.
The story so far
What do you say, and
may I ask you what the
letters BBB stand for?
It is just a monogram
A what?
Yeah, it is just a logo of a
branded product.
What product is it? Most of them are pre-
An estate tobacco pipe.
I have heard of only
tobacco grown in an estate,
not the pipe.
Srikanth laughed,
Inspector
Vikram coolly said,
The game is over, Mrs
Bhattacharya. You are the
real murderer. You were
planning to murder him right
from the time you were
wedded to him. You are not
in love with him. You
were only after his
wealth.
Ignorance, absolute
ignorance and ignorance is
bliss for you, my dear friend.
An estate pipe is a tobacco
smoking pipe that is acquired
through purchasing a
collection from an individual.
smoked pipes, but
occasionally one can acquire
unused pipes as well. All of
the pre-smoked pipes that
are offered will be
professionally cleaned and
polished by professional pipe
makers. Estate pipes are
considered a treasured
heirloom as vintage cars, as
they were pre-owned by
eminent and famous people
like Churchill or cine
personalities like Clint
Eastwood. The rich ones are
ready to pay any amount to
acquire these kinds of estate
pipes.
What do you think to
which company this
monogram belongs?
The letters BBB in the
rhombus monogram
indicates one of the foremost
words in the world of pipes,
Britain's Best Briars, a
company that has been
excelling since 1856 and is
still improving to this day.
S uddenly, Vikram
remembered a pipe bowl
that he had pocketed at
Mrs Bhattacharyas house
that came from the forensic
department after the check-
up for any noxious
substance. He frisked his
own body and pulled out the
bowl and eyed it closely to
locate the monogram.
Look, I have the broken
piece of the pipe bowl with
me, but I dont find any
companys name embossed
on it.
You will not find it with
the piece that you are
holding, but it is in the stem
of the tobacco pipe and for
your information the thing
which you have is not the
broken piece, but the one
that has been disentangled
from the whole tobacco pipe.
Normally, a pipe consists of
two parts, a chamber or
bowl, along with the shank
and that is what you are
holding, and a stem or the
shaft along with the lip part.
These two parts can be
dismantled apart. You better
look for the monogram in the
missing part, the stem of the
tobacco pipe, with that
Srikanth hung up.
Inspector Vikram picked
up the stem from his satchel
and looked for the
monogram and it was indeed
there neatly embossed. With
a composed and stern face
he turned to Barun and said,
Mr Barun, I need to ask you
certain questions over your
fathers untimely death. Did
you have a heated argument
with your father before you
left for the UK?
It is something personal.
I know, it is about your
marriage. Is it true that you
refused to marry the girl
whom your father insisted
on?
Yes.
And did your father
threaten you that in the
event of going against his
wish he will disown you and
youll be left without a penny
and the property will be
donated to the charity?
Yes.
Do you agree that in
retaliation you said that you
should be his heir even after
his death, whether or not he
liked it?
Yes.
S ub-inspector Raghav
flashed his ID to an old
gentleman of an ayurvedic
medicine shop. He was
guided inside and was shown
to an 18-year-old boy,
Agarwal. Raghav showed
some photographs to him
and verified.
Suddenly, the land line
buzzed. Mrs Bhattacharya
picked up the receiver and
said, Hello. Her face
darkened. Look, I cannot
budge out of this place now. I
am very busy. Ill meet you
tomorrow and well talk it
over.
Whos that on the
phone? Inspector Vikram
asked.
Oh, its just a call from
my ladies club. It can wait,
you carry on, inspector.
Inspector Vikram smiled
and said, So, Mr Barun is
that the reason you poisoned
your father?
Womans Era July (First) 2017
What nonsense are you
talking, inspector?
Its all the more reason
for you to eliminate your
father and thats the reason
you sent the estate tobacco
pipe to your father.
He has been longing to
have one for a long time, and
on top of that, I needed to
pacify him. So, I gifted the
estate tobacco pipe to him.
No, you used it as a
weapon to kill him.
How can you say that disbelief. She yelled, Whats
Ive killed him?
He died after smoking
the estate tobacco pipe that
you had sent him.
Its rubbish. Mrs Bhattacharya. You are
When your husband
said that he would
will his wealth to a
charity, if his son
marries a foreigner,
you started
scheming a plot to
murder him. You
wanted your son to
marry your brothers
granddaughter so
that the property
will stay with you.
Yes, the stem of the pipe
was coated with ricin toxin
which is a deadly poison; its
a planned murder, I say,
Inspector Vikram raised his
voice.
Barun broke down. He
couldnt control his
emotions. His voice
quivered. He looked at his
mother apologetically with
tears welling up in his eyes.
Mrs Bhattacharya spat
venom through her eyes. She
turned her face aside and
screamed at the Inspector
Vikram, Inspector! Arrest
the culprit.
Inspector Vikram was
glued to his laptop for about
10 minutes. He raised his
head with a composed
demeanour and said softly,
Yes, officer arrest the
culprit.
The female officer took
the handcuffs and walked
straight towards Mrs
Bhattacharya and
handcuffed her.
Mrs Bhattacharya was
astonished at this. She
stared at the inspector in
the big game, inspector?
I nspector Vikram coolly
said, The game is over,
the real murderer. You were
planning to murder him right
from the time you were
wedded to him. You were
not in love with him. You
were only after his wealth.
When your husband said
that he would will his wealth
to a charity, if his son marries
a foreigner, you started
scheming a plot to murder
him. You wanted your son to
marry your brothers
granddaughter so that the
property will stay with you.
Since Barun was determined
to marry a foreigner, you
decided to eliminate your
husband by utilising the
estate pipe gifted by your
son so that you can indict
him for the murder and foist
the case upon him so that he
will be behind bars and youll
be the sole legal heir to enjoy
his wealth.
Let me bring to light
your modus operandi. You
took the stem of the estate
pipe and asked Babulal to
give it to Agarwal, the boy
who is working in Aryan
Ayurvedic Medical Shop
down the hill. You had
already contacted Agarwal
and told him to coat the
stem with ricin toxin which is
a product derived from
71
castor beans that they sell
for medicinal purposes. You
paid him a hefty amount to
keep it a secret when he
went to the shop. He found
various other stems which
were kept for cleaning
purposes and in order to
identify his stem he
studiously drew the diagram
of the monogram and kept it
in his pocket.
A couple of days after
collecting the stem he
crushed the paper and threw
it in your drawing room as it
was of no use to him
anymore. Babulal has got
nothing to do with this
murder apart from being an
innocent errand boy running
errands for you. When you
came to know the truth
through me that the bowl of
the tobacco pipe did not
contain any toxic substances, almost two days,
it suddenly came to your
mind that you have
forgotten the stem and you
meticulously planted the
stem under the couch after I
had gone. That was the
reason that I couldnt find the
stem the first time when I
checked the area for any
evidence.
Ricin is a toxic do this mom? Had you asked
protein found in the me, I would have willingly given
castor oil plant that
wreaks havoc on
ribosomes, the cells
A couple of days
after collecting the
stem he crushed
the paper and
threw it in your
drawing room as it
was of no use to
him anymore.
Babulal has got
nothing to do
with this murder
apart from being
an innocent
errand boy.
protein builders. The result is
severe damage to major
organs. Just one milligram of
ricin is enough to kill an adult
if inhaled or ingested. For
Mr Bhattacharya was
smoking his pipe that was
enough for him to collapse
all of a sudden. But you
inadvertently filed the flyer
along with the medical bills
Mr Barun turned
to her with tears welling
up in his eyes, Why did you
this property to you. I will be
settling in the UK with my
lover. Again, I say the same
thing to you that I said
to my father.
of Mr Bhattacharya. When I
got the report from our
pathology department that
Mr Bhattacharyas body
contained the deadly toxic
named ricin and when our
forensic department also
confirmed the same toxic
substance in the stem of the
pipe, I ordered our Sub
Inspector Rhagav to trace
whether it was sold in the
Aryan Ayurvedic shop that is
mentioned in the flyer you
filed with the address clearly.
Mr Rhagav has done a
wonderful job by not only
tracing the shop but also
cornering your accomplice
Agarwal and made him give
a threatening call to you
demanding more money for
your crime at the exact time
of my interrogating your
family members. Knowing
pretty well from where the
call came I simply asked you
the question for which you
uttered a blatant lie that it
was from your ladies club.
I saw your appalled reaction
when you picked up the call.
What a story you are
making up, inspector! How
can I do this to my own son?
He is not your own son.
The whole town knows
that he is my son.
Maybe for others, but we
know you are not his
biological mother. We traced
your antecedents to the
Kangra valley and got the
information that you forced
your company on
Mr Bhattacharya when he
lost his first wife in an
accident. Mr Barun is the first
wifes son. When you and
your husband relocated to
Coonoor Mr Barun was a
small three-month-old baby,
so everyone thought that he
was your own child.
That boy Agarwal is
lying. You cannot prove
anything against me.
I
nspector Vikram smiled
and said, Your castor
bean plot is over. Your
accomplice has already
spilled the beans and it is
recorded. Here is your
proof.
Inspector Vikram
switched on his laptop and
showed the mail that had
been sent by Mr Rhagav. In
the video Mrs Bhattacharya
saw the boy confessing
everything to Mr Rhagav and
subsequent to that making a
threatening call to her as
instructed by Mr Rhagav.
She was stupefied and
became speechless.
Mr Barun turned to her with
tears welling up in his eyes,
Why did you do this, mom?
Had you asked me, I would
have willingly given this
property to you. I will be
settling in the UK with my
lover. Again, I say the same
thing to you that I said to my
father.
Whether you like it or
not, you will be my mother
for ever even after my
death. We
I wish my book of life was
written in pencil There
are a few pages I would
like to erase.
I have a six-month-old daughter. As this is probably the time
her first tooth will appear I am keen to know about a childs
dentition. Kindly enlighten me.
A child has a set of 20 milk teeth (upper and lower jaw
combined) that comprise 2 incisors or front teeth, a canine
on either side of the incisors and the 1st and 2nd molar at the
back on either side on each jaw. Dentition begins at 6 months
of age and is completed by 24 months. The 1st to appear are
the lower central incisors at 6 months of age while the upper
central incisors and the lower lateral incisors erupt at 7
months. The 1st molars appear between 12 to 14 months, the
canines between 16- 18 months and the 2nd molars between
20-24 months.
At times my baby makes a strange wheezing like sound while
sleeping. Could an infant have asthma? I am very worried.
Please tell me what should I do.
Babies tend to breathe through their noses and as their
nasal passages are narrow, small amounts of nasal fluid or
mucus makes them sound congested even when they do not
have a cold. The noisy breathing does not indicate allergy or
asthma as most parents tend to think. At times dried nasal
secretions block the babys nostrils. This creates problems in
feeding for it becomes well nigh impossible to breathe with
the mouth and nose closed. Put a drop of boiled and cooled
water in each nostril. This will soften the
secretions, which can be removed with
cotton buds.
My baby has crusty flakes on his scalp
despite a bath every day. Please tell me
why this has occurred and how it can be
cured.
The crusty flakes on the head is called
cradle cap or seborrhric dermatitis in medical parlance. It is a
form of dandruff common in infants. The greasy surface scales
in mild cases respond well to massage with oil followed by a
thorough shampoo that removes the crust along with the oil.
In those cases where the flaking is heavy and there are
brownish patches or yellowish crustiness, a visit to the doctor
is warranted. Since the condition worsens with sweating avoid
covering his head unless absolutely necessary. Occasionally
cradle cap may persist throughout the first year. Though the
condition is cosmetically unappealing, it causes no problems
so do not try vigorous methods of removal.
My son is three-and-a-half years old. He started speaking late.
Even now his speech is like a one-and-a-half-year-old kid. I
worry about this a lot. Please help.
Some children start speaking late, especially if delay in the
onset of speech runs in your family or that of your husband.
Another reason for this delay could be that he is not spoken to
often enough! This is usually the case in the only child of a
nuclear family and you are a working couple. So either talk
to him as often and as much as possible or see to it that he
interacts with other children. There will be a drastic
improvement in his speech.
As for his still speaking like a one-and-a-half-year old child
Womans Era July (First) 2017
he has to go through all the stages a child has to go through
while learning to speak. A visit to the paediatrician is in order
to rule out medical causes for the delay in speech.
I have a six-year-old daughter who has a mild squint which
gets accentuated when she looks at a particular direction.
What can be done about it?
This is a form of squint (also called the lazy eye) that
occurs due to the weakness of muscles that move the eye.
She will be prescribed eye exercises that must be done
diligently to preserve binocular vision. This is because once
she crosses the age of eight years only the normal eye will be
able to see properly while the other becomes useless. If
exercises fail surgery might be of help.
What is swaddling? How is it done and how does it help the
baby?
Swaddling is a soothing technique that gives the newborn
a sense of security, comfort and warmth. Spread a blanket
and fold one corner over slightly. Lay the baby face-up on the
blanket with his head on the folded corner. Wrap the left
corner over the babys body and tuck it underneath. Bring
the bottom corner up over the baby's feet. Wrap
the right corner around the baby, leaving
Q
only the neck and head exposed.
A
Child &
Challenges
I have a two and a half years old son.
He is unable to walk. What could be the cause?
The cause could range from delayed milestones,
nutritional deficiencies, a mild degree of mental retardation or
polio. Get him examined by a paediatrician and an
orthopaedist at the earliest.
I have a four-year-old son. He has become very rowdy and
disobedient. I have become so aggravated at times that I have
given him a tight slap and regretted it immediately
afterwards. Please tell me how to discipline him without
beating him, as I know that it is wrong to do so.
You are right in thinking that beating is not the disciplinary
measure of choice. It may have an immediate effect but is
only a temporary solution though the repercussions are life
long. Either the child becomes obstinate and defiant or he
becomes insecure with a poor sense of self worth. Here are a
few things that you can try. Be firm and constant in your
denial of things that are prohibited. Warn him sternly the first
time he disobeys, despite your disciplining. If that does not
help keep him away from his peers, TV, computer games or
anything else that he enjoys so that he learns that he will have
to do without things he likes if he does wrong.
Dr Amrinder Bajaj, MD.
73

Adopt a Health
Life Style
Beat genetic heart disease.
G
enetics destiny can do
wonders when it comes to
heart diseases. In a new
analysis of data of more than 55,000
people provides an answer which says
that by living right by not smoking
exercising moderately and by eating
a healthy, balanced nutritious diet rich
in fresh fruits, seasonal veggies and
grains people can avoid even the
worst genetic risk of many heart
diseases.
DNA is not destiny, it is not
deterministic for heart diseases, said
Dr Sekar Kathiresan. You do have
control over the problem, even if you
have been dealt a bad genetic hand.
The research by Dr Kathiresan and his
colleagues, is the first attempt to use
large data sets to tease apart the
effects of genes and lifestyle in
various heart diseases, researchers
said.
About 365,000 people die of
coronary heart diseases annually the
most common type in the United
States and 17.3 million worldwide,
making it one of the biggest killers.
The investigators found that genes
can double the risk of heart diseases,
but a good lifestyle cuts it in half.
By Sudesh Gogia
Vicinity of nature
Wake up naturally without an
alarm after a deep qualitative sleep of
seven to eight hours. Infficient sleep,
can regulate stress hormones. Come
out of the sleep mode naturally in a
relaxed way. Never get out of bed
straightaway. With folded hands and
faith, express a sense of your
gratitude. Go outdoors to inhale fresh
air. Breathe deeply; loosen up and
stretch your limbs out. Relax and have
positive, progressive thoughts. Feel
the present moment and its vibrant
generosity. Never allow yourself to
suffer from anxiety or uncertainty of
the future!
Dont ever get caught in the
business trap early in the morning.
Listen to the chirping of birds outside
(in the lawn of your house). Breathe in
fresh air slowly; breathe out toxins of
the body. Exercise and yoga in the
morning offer a lot of benefits. Youll
be energised throughout the day.
Enjoy the little things in life. Be
romantic with colourful flowers in the
garden.
Enjoy the warmth of spring. A glass
of nimbu paani with honey early in
the morning cleanses the internal
toxins and provides energy. Manage
your fitness regimen through yoga.
Take a brisk walk in greenery in the
vicinity of nature. Swimming and
ayurvedic interventions are
detoxifying. Laughter in the company
of old friends is a great de-stressor!
Use the staircase, not the elevator.
Always maintain a good posture. Sit
upright with your back absolutely
straight. Take risks and micro-plan
your days business by managing your
work-life balance.
Be a decision taker for good or for
bad. Handle failure or success with
equal aplomb and resilience. Be a
survivor, never declare yourself a
victim!
Healthy lifestyle
Deep sleep develops the ability to
regulate stress hormones and the
restorative part of your well-being. A
sound, uninterrupted sleep will help
you reduce inflammation, improve
memory and help you to control your
weight. Avoid high blood pressure.
Eat less salt; otherwise extra water
stored in the body will raise your BP.
Obese people with more salt have a A positive attitude keeps your
greater risk of cardiovascular mind free of stress and anxiety. Fruits
diseases. Avoid processed meat; steer and vegetables help attain lower BP
clear of table salt on the dining table. and are full of vitamins, minerals and
Exercise regularly, its a drug-free fibres and low in sodium.
treatment for hypertension and Obese individuals have greater
makes your heart stronger to pump fatty tissues that increase the work
more blood with less effort. Meditate the heart has to do. Losing weight
to de-stress; the stress-release lowers BP. To lose weight, you need
hormone called adrenaline causes to eat fewer calories than you burn.
breathing to quicken heart rate. Dont go on a crash diet if you want to
avoid heart diseases.
DEEP SLEEP DEVELOPS Sex and a healthy heart
THE ABILITY TO Sexual activities have a protective
effect on the health of the heart.
REGULATE STRESS Oxytocin known as love hormone is
HORMONES AND THE released at orgasm, promoting well-
being and calmness of brain cells, thus
RESTORATIVE PART OF rendering longevity. Mind it, sex has
YOUR WELL-BEING. no expiry date!
A recent study found that orgasms
A SOUND, are the spurting fountains of youth.
UNINTERRUPTED On heart disease, cancer and
environmental causes, the benefits of
SLEEP WILL HELP YOU sex are factors in all the three
REDUCE categories of men-women mortality
who enjoy orgasm simultaneously
INFLAMMATION, frequently. And many scientists
IMPROVE MEMORY believe that the more sex you have,
AND HELP YOU TO
CONTROL YOUR
WEIGHT. AVOID HIGH
BLOOD PRESSURE.
the longer you will live. Theres some
evidence to back this claim a Swedish
study done on
70-year-olds who made it to 75 were
the ones still having frequent
stimulating sex. This is a significant
predictor of longevity. We
Do one thing every day that
scares you.
Womans Era July (First) 2017 75
 NEW
STORYTELLING APPS
Boredom busters for kids this summer vacation.
By Ramesh Kumar Raja

I
ts the time of the year when
parents are a worried lot about
how to engage their kids during
free time in the summer vacation.
Although some schools offer summer
camps and there are neighbourhood
institutions offering hobby classes,
the long break during this season is
not enough to satisfy their desire for
leisurely activities at home. Even the
parents restrict their little ones from
going out, as the Sun is over the top
which may not good for their health.
In such a situation, storytelling
apps or those imparting moral and
educational values to children could
be of great help to todays parents
who are mostly living in nuclear
families. These apps can be the best
pastime for children getting bored
indoors. With technology fast
becoming an integral part of life from
a very early age, we suggest you to
download children-friendly apps on
your phone/tablet and give the device
to them for a pre-decided time slot
after switching off the Internet. Here
is a list of some most popular apps
available for iOS, Android and
Windows devices.
Bulbul Apps
Bulbul Apps was
founded in 2014 by
filmmaker Prakash
Dantuluri so that his
daughter could be
familiarised with
traditional and regional stories of
India. It offers a variety of interactive
stories and rhymes that are animated
and illustrated. The bedtime stories
with moral lessons are user-friendly
and children find them attractive.
There are stories from all around the
world and the app is updated
regularly with new books and stories.
The central character in many of the
stories is Bulbul, the bird who is
curious and constantly in pursuit of
discovering new things.
The app library has something for
every kid aged up to eight. The What
is it series, for example, helps
children learn about animal sounds
and names, while the Baby Bath
Time story has a baby going for a
bath in the tub on her own for the
first time. There is this Potty Potty
story that has infant Tommy in a fix
when his mom runs out of diapers and
asks him to start using the potty. In
Babys First Zoo, the dad takes the
kid to the zoo to answer all her
questions about different animals,
birds and insects. The Mowgli and
Bulbul series has Mowgli, the little
boy raised in the jungle by a bunch of
wolves, and his best friend Bulbul set
out on their adventures in the jungle.
Bulbul Apps has interpreted the The
Jungle Book classic in a modern way,
designing it in the form of an
interactive ebook application.
It has also introduced the digital
natives to Indian mythology with its
Adventures of Krishna series, which is
already a hit with children. The
segment is dedicated to the stories of
little Krishna and his adventures in
Vrindavan.
It also has a Tuk-Tuk series, a
travel app for kids that helps them
discover a city in an interactive
manner. While Tuk-Tuk Goes To
Mumbai happens to be the first
product of the series, Tuk-Tuk Goes
To Hyderabad was launched last year.
The children can explore more cities
of the world riding the colourful
three-wheeler through this app, in
future. The Bulbul Apps library also
has famous fairytales and other
bedtime stories, such as Cinderella,
Snow White and Pinocchio, in
animation format. The size of an
average story is 20MB, with the
developers currently working on
bringing it down further to 10MB.
Bulbul Apps has over 50 apps in its
library at present, and the number is
growing.
Currently available in English, Hindi
and Telugu, the content will be
available on all major Indian
languages in the days to come,
according to the developers.
OFFERING VARIETY
FOR CHILDREN,
APPYSTORE IS
INDIA'S FIRST
COMPREHENSIVE
LEARNING APP FOR
KIDS AGED UP TO
EIGHT YEARS. IT
KEEPS YOUR LITTLE
ONES ENGAGED AND
PROVIDES HOLISTIC
LEARNING THROUGH
PRODUCTIVE
EDUTAINMENT.
Womans Era July (First) 2017
AppyStore
Offering variety
for children,
Appystore is India's
first comprehensive
learning app for kids
aged up to eight years. It keeps your
little ones engaged and provides
holistic learning through productive
edutainment. Apart from popular
fairytales, the app has an Indian
Superheroes segment featuring
inspiring tales of bravery and wisdom
of some great Indian icons, such as
Rani Laxmibai, Chhatrapati Shivaji,
Rajpur warrior kings, and other
freedom fighters. The section also has
interesting and informative stories,
such as the history of the Indian rupee
and Indus Valley Civilisation, catering
to children aged five to eight. The
AppyStore library also has a collection
of rhymes and colouring and alphabet
apps for pre-schoolers. An interesting
feature is the Karaoke Rhymes section
that allows children and parents to
sing along. Every song has the first
half with voice, and the second half
repeating the rhyme without voice for
kids to sing along and practice.
The app is easy to use and provides
ample space for kids to watch and
learn new things. With 5,000 videos
classified across 18 learning areas, it
enables children to improve their
logical thinking with fun puzzles, to
learn the importance of physical
fitness, to get involved in outdoor
activities and to imbibe good socio-
emotional values. The app allows
77
parents to keep a check on their
childs progress in various learning
areas based on the number of videos
viewed. Also, the app offers no ads,
pop-ups or redirects to other
websites or portals. That makes it
totally safe to use for kids, who would
require no additional supervision.
The app works on a subscription-
based payment model and currently
offers three-, six- and nine-month
plans. The app, with videos, can be
accessed through the Appystore web-
portal http://www.appystore.in/

Amar Chitra Katha
This is for children
of all ages. Dubbed as
ACK Comics, the app
offers more than 300
titles on personalities
such as Akbar,
Chanakya, Jawaharlal Nehru and JRD
Tata to users. The app has been
developed by App9 Digital Studio, the
digital division of Ninestars
how Chandragupta Mauryas trusted
minister Chanakya had a list of fines
for crimes that included defecating or
urinating in public places. Higher fines
were imposed for doing the same
near temples, the royal palace or a
water reservoir. In the first elaborate
story on the traditions of cleanliness
in the country, storytelling 'uncle
STORYTELLER TO
Anant' narrates to kids how in the
Vedas, the relation between diseases
and poor hygiene was highlighted and
Manusmriti prescribed the need for a
clean body for a clean mind and clean
community. The publication also
includes true stories about elaborate
systems for ensuring sanitation as
early as 2500 years ago during the
Indus Valley Civilisation.
The ACK is also working with game

Information Technologies Pvt. Ltd.
The digital comic is available in a flip-
book mode as well as panel-by-panel
mode which is convenient for smaller
devices. Users can download and read
their comics on multiple devices,
using a single user account. Amar
Chitra Katha is one of Indias oldest
and most loved comic series.
Storyteller to generations of
Indians, the ACK in collaboration with
the ministry of urban development
last year came out with a special
edition of a comic book focusing on
Swachh Bharat Mission. The 36-page
edition, based on a storytelling format
having five narratives, also refers to
GENERATIONS OF
developers to tell stories that are in
tune with the times, in an interactive
INDIANS, THE ACK IN fashion.
COLLABORATION FunDooDaa Books
WITH THE MINISTRY This is said to be the
OF URBAN countrys first
multilingual story app
DEVELOPMENT LAST which was launched last year by Chie
Media Pvt. Ltd. FunDooDaa Books is
YEAR CAME OUT WITH an e-library of stories and is meant to
A SPECIAL EDITION OF impart learning through stories. This
app is suitable for kids aged between
A COMIC BOOK two and eight.
FOCUSING ON The FunDooDaa Books app is
available in different languages and
SWACHH BHARAT has stories in English, Hindi, Tamil,
MISSION. Telugu, Malayalam, Kannada, Gujarati,
Marathi and Bengali. Also, there are
stories that will inculcate the Indian
culture and heritage among kids such
as Naana and Naani, Royal Tales and
Legends, etc. The app is aimed to
entertain kids and also make them
learn and communicate in their
mother tongue. The app gives special
emphasis to improving reading skills,
vocabulary, and observational skills of
the kids. We

Life is too short to stress yourself

with people who dont deserve it.

78 Womans Era July (First) 2017

 REASONS WHY
One experiences painful sex.
W
hat's the one thing that
quickly flies in your mind
when we say sex? Joy,
obviously. However, you'd likewise
concur that with all the delight comes
a touch of agony also (no, we are not
discussing BDSM). We have drawn up
a rundown of five reasons why sex
can be painful and how to manage it.
Sex can turn out to be truly
difficult if your vagina is not greased
up enough. For the most part, it is
self-greased up. However, there are
times when you are not turned on
enough, which may cause dryness and
in the long run torment. That is when
lubes prove to be useful.
By Himanshu Yadav
Wrong position
You likely believe that
experimenting with new positions is
energising and will prompt insane, hot
sex. However, do you understand that
with a wrong position, the entire
demonstration won't be as satisfying
as it sounds? So, be wary about the
stance you pick.
Jumping the gun
Is it accurate to say that you are
one of the individuals who doesn't
put stock in "steady-minded
individuals winning in the end"
equation? Plunging straight into the
activity with no foreplay may prompt
to pointless contact which can hurt
you. Set aside an opportunity to turn
on the warmth and after that put it all
on the line.
Theres an infection
Genital diseases can in some cases
cause uncomfortable sex. It can bring
about agony in the vagina and you
may not be even mindful of it. Do a
search for indications in such a case;
it's ideal to be sheltered than
exposed.
Hes really big
There are times when you and your
partner are not an impeccable match
as far as genital fit is concerned. An
agreeable position or lubes may help
in such cases. We
Be happy while youre living, for
youre a long time dead.
Sthoorryt
S
The Gamble
Would it work? By Ananya Sarkar
T
he moment he took
his seat next to her
and she could get a
closer look, she found him
familiar. But it took a while
for her to recognise him.
Why, it's Mahesh, she soon
realised, recalling one of the
past suitors that her parents
She feigned a had found for her. She took a
look of surprise, deep breath. What was he
her heart doing here? It made her feel
thudding hard,
dreading his
uneasy and awkward.
The reason was not hard
to recall. Of all the suitors,
recognition. Are she had found him the most
humorous and easy-going.
you? There And they had been able to
was a pause. easily connect to each other,
Are you Jonaki thanks to their similar tastes
Gupta? She many things. After a couple
of dates, she had got a rude
squinted her shock and was forced to
eyes before dismiss all thoughts of
replying in the marriage with him. Soon, she
had realised that the
affirmative. problem with Mahesh was
not unique. She faced the
same situation with a few
others as well.
It was then that she had
called off the idea of an
arranged marriage.
"I understand that it works
for most Indian women, ma,"
she had told her mother.
"But there are also many like
me who cannot opt for it for
a reason like this."
T here was an exasperated
rejoinder, "Is that even a
reason, Jona?" And she had
sighed and explained that it,
indeed, was an issue with
her.
The ticket in the Volvo
AC bus was inclusive of
snacks. When the bus
resumed its journey from
Sevoke, the conductor was
seen passing around samosas
Yes,
I remember
now.
I had wanted more time
to get to know you before
committing myself. But you
did not want that. You
wanted the wedding date
to be fixed first before
we went on any
further.
and sweets. Jonaki shifted
uncomfortably at the
thought of having to eat
consciously since she was
wary of being recognised.
Then she was hungry and
eager to take a bite.
The conductor
approached her. As he held
out the plate, the bus
swerved and he struggled to
maintain his balance.
Mahesh, she noticed,
reached out to him promptly
and steadied him. "Thank
you, sir," the conductor
smiled. He could not have
been more than 19 years.
"Could you please hand this
over to madam next to you,"
he said after giving Mahesh
his snacks.
"Sure."
Jonaki swallowed as he
handed her the thermocol
plate. She kept her eyes
lowered. Was he looking at
her? Or was it just her
imagination? She hurriedly
settled down to eating and
noticed that Mahesh was
meditating on his food.
Excuse me, he spoke
slowly, You seem
familiarHave we met
before?
She feigned a look of
surprise, her heart thudding
hard, dreading his
recognition. Are you?
There was a pause. Are you
Jonaki Gupta? She squinted
her eyes before replying in
the affirmative.
Hiremember me? Im
Mahesh Chowdhury. We had
met in 2005, I believe
I mean, as part of the
matchmaking process, he
laughed awkwardly. Now, it
was her turn to be
embarrassed.
She pretended to
remember. Ah, yes! Well, Id
never thought Id meet you
here. So, how are you
doing?
He replied that he was on
his way to bring his son home
from his boarding school in
Darjeeling.
there would be a 15-minute
halt. Some of the passengers
alighted to flex their limbs. A
few visited the pay-and-use
toilet nearby. Jonaki and
Mahesh got down too and
ordered tea at the nearby
eatery.
So, said Mahesh, hows
your husband? Hes busy,
eh?
She looked up at him
coolly. This was expected at
some point.
I havent married. Tara is
adopted.
He seemed a little
baffled. So, youre a single
mother? Great job! And
youve adoptedthats a
wonderful thing to do.
She smiled curtly. Thank
you.
They sipped their tea in
silence. She knew it was now
only courteous to ask about
his wife. In fact, it would be
somewhat rude if she did
not.
And hows
Mrs Chowdhury?
Mother? Jonaki vaguely
remembered that she had
spoken to his mother once.
On boarding the bus,
they were struck by an
ungainly quiescence.
Perhaps it was the effect of
the newfound knowledge of
each others personal lives.
Jonaki stared out of the
window at the blue
mountains. The bus picked be fixed first before we went
up speed.
Jonaki do not like me in the end and
She turned towards him.
Yes?
Dont you want to
marry? I mean in the future?
A few seconds passed
before the answer came.
I dont know. Havent given At the same time I could not
it much thought.
She felt genuinely
sympathetic,
thinking of his
little boy who had
lost his mother at
such a tender
age. How
challenging it
must have been
for Mahesh too!
truth was that I hardly knew
the person you were.
Yes, I remember now.
I had wanted more time
to get to know you before
committing myself. But you
did not want that. You
wanted the wedding date to
on any further. What if you
I waste precious months or
years of my life courting
you? you had said. That was
a valid point as I could not
guarantee that I would like
you for sure and marry you.
disregard my point of view
either. Marrying a person
without knowing him
properly was unthinkable for
me. I remember how you had
told me that nothing could
offer certainty about
marriage, not even years of
being in a relationship. That
marriage was ultimately a
gamble.
His brows were furrowed
in concentration. Now, he
looked at her inquisitively.
It may be a gamble but
Id still want to test the

S he exclaimed. My
daughter studies there
tooIm on my way to
collect her as well.
Well, thats a
coincidence. In which
standard is your daughter?
Shes in the first
standard. And your son?
In standard IIII got him
admitted here a couple of
years back.
I see! she gave a polite
smile, not knowing what else
to say.
Luckily for her, Mahesh
began a casual conversation
that made it less awkward.
They talked about the
school, its curriculum,
amenities, and the weather
in Darjeeling. When they
reached Kalljhora, the
conductor announced that
Was that why he was
mistaken that she was
referring to her?
NoI meant your wife.
Oh he fingered the
cup languidly. My wife
passed away three years
ago.
Imso sorry, she
mumbled.
He sighed. She was
suffering a lot. Squamous
cell carcinoma.
She felt genuinely
sympathetic, thinking of his
little boy who had lost his
mother at such a tender age.
How challenging it must
have been for Mahesh too!
Losing his wife, looking after
his son, bracing the ugly
blow dealt by life. A wave of
sympathy swept through
her.
There was a pause.
Do you think, by any
chance, we could have a life
waters before I step in. At
least Id have the satisfaction
of knowing that I chose to
together? marry the person whom I
Mahesh, she said genuinely liked and
quietly, do you remember appreciated, and not some
why our match could not random stranger who had
materialise earlier? loved me with his sound
finance alone. Anyway, this
H e seemed to ponder.
I supposeit was
because you wanted the
was the reason why we broke
up the alliance. You were in a
hurry to marry and I was not
marriage to take place at a ready.
later date? Well?
Not exactlyI wanted to You know what I found
spend more time with you out later? she gave a wry
and get to know you before I smile. Arranged marriage in
gave my word for a long- India does not operate that
term commitment. Im sure way. Prospective grooms
you were accomplished and even brides are eager to
young man from a decent marry and hastily seal their
family factors that would togetherness with the word
qualify you as a very suitable of law. Its been the norm for
bachelor. But, you see, the ages and nobody has

Womans Era July (First) 2017 81

questioned it. Then, many You were not willing It might be too late. meet you after so long.
like me find it intriguing. then will you be okay with it He smiled, So you would She shook his hand,
now? I can hardly wait. still like to know me, eh? Take care.

S he took a deep breath

before resuming. Soon
after you get left, I asked my
parents to stop looking for
matches for me. I could not
accept the concept of a pre-
empted and blind conceding
to something as grave as
marriage without knowing
my spouse properly.
With a distant gaze, he
shook his head gently, So
We have our children
now, Jonaki. How do you
think it would be if they
came to know that we were
seeing each other? Marriage
gives a social sanction, thats
all. You would have all the
time to know me after
marriage.
Mahesh, she laughed,
Thats the whole point
I dont want to wait till then.
And I know you would
not be able to spare the time
even now, right?
Attention! The final stop,
Darjeeling is here! The
conductor announced. The
bus jerked to a halt, and the
passengers slowly, shuffling
alighted their bags and
suitcases.
Wed better get going,
said Jonaki. It was good to
As they stepped out, the
crisp air greeted them
pleasantly. Jonaki took a
deep breath as she headed
for the taxi stand. Mahesh
looked at the sky and cleared
his throat. We
Change is inevitable.
Progress is optional.

T
he cutest and warmest time to
get into a relationship is
mainly when we are young and
wild. This means that definitely the
time will soon come when both
the parties would be separated
by distance and thus the
everyday sweet meetings and
gestures would turn into a long-
distance relationship. But dont
worry. Even though there are
many doubts regarding the
life of a long-distance relationship,
there are many ways to keep it
happening as well. In fact, a long-
distance relationship can actually
seem more thrilling when the couple
meets again. Here are a few tips on
how not to let the spark die out:
Dont overdo the phone calls and
texts: The moment a normal relation
turns into a long-distance one, both
the parties feel a sting of pain for not
being able to spend time with their
loved one. This makes them want to
talk to their partners more and more
even if they run out of topics to talk
about. Dont do this. Set a time to
talk to your partner and wait for that
time to come. Make it limited to one
or at most two calls a day. But make
sure that these one or two calls are
long and satisfying.
Discuss your needs: Males and
females, both have different needs in
a relationship and there is nothing
wrong or right about it. These are just
The way to sustain it.
By Munmun Bhattacharjee
needs. If your girlfriend wants that you
text her when you reach home from
gym or stuff like that then do it to
make her feel good. Same, if the
boyfriend likes to see new pictures of
you, then don't be shy and take some
pics with friends when you go out to
have fun and send them to him. Even
solo selfies might be to his liking.
Obliging a little to the other partners
need will make them feel wanted and
special. Thus, unnecessary fights can
be avoided.
Be creative: Talking on the phone
and texting is all good. But what about
putting a little fun into the whole
thing?
Playing online games together or
chatting in portal chatrooms are
some of the exciting things that you
can try with your partner. Dont let
your method of communication
turn dull.
Pay more attention to
your surroundings: While the
article deals with what all you
should be doing with your
partner, it is equally
important to understand that
the real monotony in a relationship
sets in when you both just pay
attention to each other. Getting
more involved or doing fun activities
with family and friends actually gives
you more things to talk about and
brightens your mood before you talk
to your partner.
Decide your meeting days and
swear by it! This is one extremely
important item in long-distance
relationship. You need to meet! No
matter how far you are, making time
to meet is the one thing which will
always lift up your relationship.
Knowing how hard it was and still
seeing your partner gathers up all
their energy for just a day or two of
being together feels like the most
beautiful, precious and exciting
moment. Being away anyway gives
you more thrill while meeting but
knowing that no matter what, the
plans wont get cancelled is
something which provides a feeling
even greater than thrill calmness. We

82 Womans Era July (First) 2017


N
esting is a primal instinct of a
bird or animal by which it
builds and prepares a safe and
germ-free environment for the
protection of its offspring who is
going to come into the world.
Human beings are known to have
such nesting tendencies as well,
which they do by way of cleaning and
baby-proofing the house.
Experts have pointed out some
tips that new mothers should keep in
mind when preparing for the arrival of
a newborn into the home. Some of
these are:
Our hands and respiratory system
are two of the major sources of
infection. So, we should make sure
that we thoroughly wash our hands
and make it rid of all organic matter
as well as use a hand sanitiser before
handling an infant. Since premature
babies have a weaker immune
system, we need to be even more
careful around them.
The first few days of the mothers
milk is paramount, as the child gets a
lot of immunity from breast milk.
However, breastfeeding makes the
mother sweat a lot due to the
84
Tips For
New
Moms
Keep them in mind.
reaction it has with her hormones.
Thus, it is important for the mother to
maintain adequate hygienic
conditions, and bathe twice a day if
possible.
Newborns, on the other hand, do
not need a bath immediately, as their
bodies are covered with a thin film
which acts like a lubricant,
maintaining their bodys temperature.
Once the umbilical cord has fallen off,
they can take their first bath.
Vaccinations straight after birth
are important to take as they protect
the baby against diseases that he or
she may get from the new
environment. There are no side-
effects to the vaccinations prescribed
by the government, and the World
Health Organisation has declared the
mercury level in them within
permissible limits.
Babies need lots of sleep. This
makes sure that they grow in the
desired manner. After the initial few
days, it is wise to try and develop the
right kind of sleep training as far as
possible.
The ABC rule for diapers is an
important one to memorise. A: (Air
the babys bottoms for a while daily
to make sure that he or she gets no
rashes), B: Barrier (apply some butt
paste or zinc oxide cream to the
childs bottom whenever you change
his/her diaper), and C: Check (the
diaper every three to four hours to
Womans Era July (First) 2017
By Neha Kirpal
see if it needs to be changed).
The first three months are the
most crucial in a babys life. It is at
this time that the family around him
or her must make sure that he or she
does not catch any infections.
Air purifiers are being widely used
by parents across the country. With
pollution and dust everywhere these
days, their use is being recommended
by doctors as well. Remember, the
child has come from a safe and secure
environment of the mothers stomach
into the big, bad world outside! So,
we need to try and make the air
around him or her as clean and pure
as possible even if it is for a few hours
every day.
Let your baby listen to some
soothing Indian or Western classical
music at all times. This is great for the
babys brain, and various benefits
have been reported as a result of it. It
also helps soothe and calm the baby,
and makes him or her less cranky or
irritable.
Finally and most importantly, the
mother should keep herself well-fed
and cheerful, before anything else.
The babys state of mind often
reflects that of his or her mothers.
So, if she is unwell or unhappy, the
child will also be like her. We
The best things in life are unseen
thats why we close our eyes when
we kiss cry and dream.
The truth about
Slimming and Exercise
Facts you should know. By Trippayar Sahasranaman Priyaa
E
very woman loves to be praised
for her beautiful figure. Oh my
goodness! you have lost
weight is a sentence that could set
the wings of your heart on fire, at any
point of time in your life. We see
young girls, women post pregnancy,
women in their fifties all resorting to
crash diets, detoxifying drinks and
intense cardio, just to see low
numbers when they stand on the
scales. A lot of people believe that
low weight would mean less chance
of heart disease, diabetes or even
hypothyroidism. But is this all true? Is
slimming the right way to keep
healthy? Over years of struggling to
build muscle and cut out the fat from
my so-called slim body, I have come
to realise that my previous notion
of a healthy body was totally
wrong. Here are some things
that every woman needs to
know about weight loss.
When you go on a
crash diet and five kilos
fall off your scale
within a month and
your dress seems
leser, have you
actually become
fitter?
The answer is
mostly, no. If your
crash diet
comprised fruits,
and very less carbs
(rice, wheat, ragi, etc)
which most crash diets
do, your system might
have detoxified a little
but there are very slim
chances that you have lost
the fat in your body.
When starved or in need
of food, the body first
consumes the muscle, after which it
only consumes the stored fat, and as
we all know fat is very light oil floats
on water while muscle is heavy. So,
by going on your diet, you have of
course, lost weight, but most likely
not lost the stored fat in your body.
You can still see the loose flesh
around your stomach (which looks a
little flatter than before the diet), and
hanging bat wings beneath your arms
and thighs, which are all actually fat.
In this way, your bones have
become weaker as the layer of muscle
around them that primarily protected
them is gone. You might feel lighter
and fitter temporarily, but the muscle
you have lost could mean a lot to you
in the long run.
Whats wrong if I lose muscle?
Muscle (the tight flesh) in the body
tends to burn more calories than the
fat of your body. So by losing your
muscle your metabolism becomes
slower, and you would be able to burn
fewer calories than before although
your size has shrunk. Also as your
muscle grows, it cuts out the fat. As a
result, the flesh becomes tight and
sticks to your bones, protecting them.
While this happens i.e. when the
muscle builds your weight might
increase, but so does your fitness
level.
Even after a severe workout why
hasnt my flab reduced?
Each body has its own sequence of
gaining fat and losing fat. For women,
fat accumulates on the thighs, back,
and then the stomach in most cases.
So when you are losing fat (by
building muscle/after losing muscle),
you may first lose it on your thighs,
then the back and, at last, the
stomach. For men the sequence is
different as they first tend to
accumulate fat around the stomach.
So even after months of workout
and dieting the fat around your
stomach might be lost at last i.e.
after toning your thighs and arms in
most cases if you are a woman.
Apart from these, stomach
bloating may make your stomach look
bigger. Also, women lose a bit of
weight during menstruation. The
stomach gets a little bloated just
before the bleeding starts and then it
becomes a little smaller. Women may
notice their paunch getting a little
flatter once their monthly period gets
over. Everything takes time, so
persistent workout and good diet
would make your body lose fat over a
period of six months to one year.
Isnt cardio enough to make me
slimmer?
Some exercise is definitely better
than no exercise. During cardio, the
body needs energy and the first
source of energy it consumes comes
from your muscles. Though cardio or
any kind of exercise definitely
promotes blood circulation and keeps
your cells young, only cardio might
not be what you are looking for if you
want a healthy body in the long run.
Weight training on three days and
cardio two days a week definitely
leads to a healthier body than just
cardio. Adequate protein intake after
cardio would help to regain the muscles
lost during the process of exercise.
Should one exercise on all seven
days a week?
No. A person who exercises on five
88
or six days a week and has one day of
rest is definitely healthier than a
person who exercises all seven days a
week.
The torn muscles need rest and
protein intake to repair themselves.
That is why when you work on your
biceps on say Monday, you would be
advised to work on some other part
of your body (preferably the lower
body) the next day as your biceps
would develop well only if given 48
hours of rest to repair. The usual cycle
of workout has alternating days of
upper body and lower body exercise
and cardio in between.
For example, biceps and back on
Monday, cardio and lower body on
Tuesdays, chest and triceps on
Wednesdays, cardio and abs on
Thursdays and lower body on Fridays.
But the exercises prescribed by a
trainer might vary according to ones
need and body. The lower body
contains huge muscles, so a
combination of squats and lunges
would do wonders to your body.
Why do some people build muscle
faster than others?
The rate at which one builds
muscle or loses fat depends on
several factors like metabolism, age,
diet and body type. A cow eats mostly
grass and green leafy vegetables but
its body has so much of fat due to its
metabolism. Factors like diabetes and
hypothyroidism slow down the rate at
which the body burns fat. Also the
rate at which our body builds muscles
decreases with age and lack of
activity. So, muscle-build and fat-burn
vary from person to person.
Womans Era July (First) 2017
What kind of food intake is
required how much protein, carbs
and fat per day?
The amount of protein a normal
human needs is about his or her
weight in grams i.e. if you weigh 60
kg around 60 gm of protein intake
daily is the minimum recommended
amount for anybody. Your diet should
also contain good fats like
almonds/walnuts or food rich in
omega 3 fatty acids and sufficient
carbohydrates and vitamins. The point
to be noted is that exercise tones the
muscles, but muscles are built only
depending on the food intake.
A diet change is essential for a
change in the body, but diet should
never deplete the body of its basic
nutrients proteins, carbs, fats and
vitamins. Only the ratio of unhealthy
fats and carbs to the rest should be
lowered.
Dont muscular women look
masculine and bulky?
Women do not tend to build bulky
muscles similar to men as female
bodies do not have much of the male
hormone testosterone. Testosterone
helps muscles bulk up more giving a
heavier and bulgy look to the arms,
legs and thighs. It is rare, unless in
extreme cases, that women become
bulky by muscle building. So even if
you have been doing weights and
building muscles, you will most
probably not look bulky even after a
years time.
Overall, a change in the body is a
result of good diet and exercise. For a
fit body and a voluptuous figure,
women need to work on their muscle
building to cut out the fat. It is a
wrong notion that a thin body is a
healthy body. On the contrary, a thin
body may have more accumulated fat
to muscle ratio than a bigger, fat
body.
So, dont lose the muscle, ladies, it
does a lot for you in the long run.
Build it and stay fit. We
The moment youre ready to quit is
usually the moment right before the
miracle happens.
Sthoorryt
S
The Curious
Incident
of Hacking
Loss and profit. By Sona Maniar

E
veryone in the East Battling with her long Double bollocks. All
End knew that Jacob tresses, she reached out to right, Im onto it.
Thornton was a answer the phone.

Thornton was a
successful real estate
developer, but the ones who
worked for him also knew
Adrian, its just 6.30!
What on earth is so
pressing? she practically
A s head of Media, Mandy
Maine was responsible
for the corporate
big man in his late that he was a painful bastard. screamed. communications and also the
sixties who had Mandy was to discover this Mandy, the company corporate website. She
first-hand. website has been hacked. immediately logged onto the
taken over his It was 6.30 on Monday Bollocks! website. To her alarm, she
familys ailing morning when the phone Also, old boy Thornton is found that instead of the
construction rang loud and clear, causing aware of it. staid blue and white page
her to leap out of bed. with neat sections on
business and
business, projects, and
single-handedly financials, there was a
built it into a picture of chubby old
prolific property Thornton holding up a
placard that had the word
empire with Biz cancelled and Piss
projects dotted scribbled below it. After her
across the length initial shock had waned, she
and breadth of
the country.
Adrian,
its just 6.30! What
on earth is so pressing?
she practically screamed.
Mandy, the company
website has been
hacked.
 IVF
W hen prospective parents who are unable to conceive a child on their
own consult me for assistance, I am excited to help them build their
families. But for them, dealing with the challenges of infertility can be as
stressful as having cancer. They are having lot of questions in their mind.

Myths and
Most of the questions are related to myths associated with procedure of IVF.
It is very important for couple to understand the procedure. At KJIVF, it is our
practice to take a detailed counselling session before starting the actual
procedure. They are encouraged to ask questions. This helps in clearing lot of

Facts
doubts and reducing the stress which increases the chances of conception.
Following are some of the concerns which are common to most patients.

Is IVF needed for me? embryo transfer is often compared to a

IVF was originally developed for women
with blocked tubes or missing fallopian
tubes and it is still the procedure of choice
for these situations. It is also used when
other conditions are present, including
endometriosis, male factor infertility and
unexplained infertility in which no medical
cause for infertility can be found. We, at
KJIVF, will review your history and help to
guide you to the treatment and diagnostic
procedures that are most appropriate for
you.
Will the hormones cause long-term health
risks?
Many patients are having a serious
concern and delay the treatment because
of fear of cancer. While the long-term study
is still under way and needs another 5-10
years of follow-up to be conclusive,
preliminary results suggest no association
between fertility medications and risks of
invasive cancers. At this time, we can say
that there is no direct evidence that fertility
drugs play a causal role in increasing a
womans risk of invasive ovarian, breast or
uterine cancer.
Will my baby suffer birth defects?
It is important to recognise that the rate
of birth defects in humans in the general
population is about 3% of all births for major
malformations and 6% if minor defects are
included. Fortunately, 20-plus years
following Louise Browns birth (the first IVF
baby), we now have ample data that
children conceived through IVF have no
increase in these rates of birth defects.
Further follow-up on older children indicates
that IVF children have done as well or better
than their peers in academic achievement .
In my practice of more than 20 years and
more than 3000 pregnancies , we have not
seen an extra increase in congenital
malformations.
Is the procedures painful?
No, The only procedure that could be
considered minor surgery in the IVF process
is the retrieval of the eggs from the ovary.
During this procedure a needle attached to
a vaginal ultrasound probe is passed
through the wall of the vagina and into each
ovary. A light anaesthetic is administered
intravenously prior to retrieving your eggs,
which wears off quickly after the
procedure.and patient goes home within 4
hours. In pain or discomfort terms, an
Dr Kuldeep Jains, IVF & Laparoscopy Centre (Test Tube Baby Centre)
23-24, Gagan Vihar, Main Road (Near Karkardooma Flyover), Delhi-51. Ph: 22503927, 65253282.
Email: drjain@kjivf.com. website: www.kjivf.com
For more information and assistance you can visit us at: www.kjivf.com
PAP smear. It is a rapid procedure (5 min)
that is performed with no sedation unless
medically required or requested.
If I live out of town, how long do I have to
stay at the clinic?
At KJIVF, We care for many patients who
come for treatment from other parts of
India and overseas. All initial consultations
can be done by telephone (medical, nurse
coordinator, financial), and communication
with KJIVF staff throughout your treatment
can be via telephone). Many of the required
screening blood tests and procedures can
be coordinated with your local
gynaecologist. On the average, most
patients need to visit our clinic for 5 days.
Can I travel or should I leave my job?
Many of our patients have to travel
various distances to return home after
treatment. Car travel is also fine. Sitting for
an extended period of time will not affect
chances of pregnancy. If you live out of
town, most patients return home the day
after the transfer if there is no medical
reason to stay any longer. We encourage
our patients to continue job. In fact, it helps
in destressing after embryo transfer.
What are my chances of pregnancy with
frozen embryos?
In general, the success of frozen-thawed
embryo transfer procedures depends on 3
things: the quality and survival of the frozen-
thawed embryos, the age of the patient
who produced the eggs, and the uterus of
the woman receiving the embryos. At our
centre the result is almost same. We at
KJIVF have extensive experience
coordinating these types of cycles, and have
a very successful FET programme.
Is complete bed rest recommended after
the embryo transfer?
This is popular myth with no scientific
basis. We recommend that you take it easy
following transfer for the rest of the day.
But routine work activities can be resumed
the next day. No bed rest is advised routinely
and you can resume your routine from next
day. Exception is OHSS where bed rest is
advised till the condition is resolved.
How long of a wait is recommended
between a failed IVF cycle and trying again?
We recommend waiting one full
menstrual cycle before undergoing another
Dr (Prof ) Kuldeep Jain
Director, KJIVF and Laproscopy Centre,
Delhi.
IVF stimulation. We know that it can take
up to 6 weeks for inflammation to resolve.
Therefore, it is reasonable to wait for a
similar amount of time before restarting the
process. However, mental, physical and
financial factors are considered before
starting a fresh cycle.
What are advances which can give me
improved chances?
Preparing the endometrium by
hysteroscopy, newer medications and
individualised protocols, prolonged culture
to blastocyst, individualized transfers and
vitrification are some of the advances which
are routinely offered to increase chances of
success at KJIVF.
My husbands sperms are not available but I
dont want to use donor. Can some thing
be done?
Surgical sperm retrival by PESA / TESA is
routinely offered to retrieve sperms in such
cases and all attempts are made to use
patients own sperms even in cases where
biopsys has shown absence of sperms and
many patients are able to get parenthood
with their own sperms.
The Sooner, the Better
As you can see, several exciting
developments are enhancing the success of
IVF. However, if you have fertility issues, the
best thing you can do to increase your
chances of getting pregnant and having a
child is to seek fertility counselling earlier
rather than later. Since you are born with
all the eggs you will ever produce, and the
egg supply dwindles as you age, the sooner
you seek assistance, the more likely we will
be able to help you.
burst into laughter at the
naughty joke. Then,
straightening herself up, she
dived into sorting out the
mess. She had the software
engineers cleaning up the
site and within 20 minutes, it
was back to its normal self.
Still, the matter was far from
over. Thornton would be sure
to confront her on this
subject.
T hornton was a big man in
his late sixties who had
taken over his familys ailing
construction business and
single-handedly built it into a
prolific property empire with
projects dotted across the
length and breadth of the
country. But in his advance,
he had managed to rub a
load of people the wrong
way to the extent that the
band of folks who disliked or
grudged him could easily
rival the size of the army of a
third-world country.
Back in the office,
Thornton was least amused
by this hack.
Mandy, look at the sheer
audacity of someone trying
to trespass Thornton
Enterprises! Thornton
bellowed, his nostrils flaring
wide in displeasure.
Mr Thornton, weve
strengthened the firewalls in
the system. The IT head has
assured me that a repeat of
this kind would be
impossible, Mandy
explained in an attempt to
pacify Thornton.
Why would someone do
such a thing?
There could be a few
theories to explain this.
Bragging rights, or perhaps
simply mischief, Mandy
replied.
Somebody is trying to
put me down, he said
wagging his finger. Mandy,
I do not like the fact that the
hack happened in the first
92
place. Given that the
corporate website is your
domain, dont expect any
bonus this year. Ill deal with
IT separately.
Mr Thornton, this is
most,Mandy opened her
mouth to protest this unfair
ruling. But Thornton
dismissed her protests by a
mere wave of his hand. And
with that, her plans for a
holiday in Paris evaporated
swiftly, leaving behind a
sense of sickly disgust.
At 36, when most women
her age would be busy
running after their little ones,
Mandy just sat by herself in
the hole-in-the-wall,
drowning her woes and
dreams and spirit in pints of
house beer. Her boyfriend
had dumped her the previous
summer and since then she
had spent all her free
moments planning a trip to
Paris in the hope of a new
romance. Now with the
bonus gone, Mandy felt as
though the general
sweetness had been wrung
out of her life. She was
weighing up her options,
when her thoughts were
interrupted by a deep male
voice.
Sorry. You werent the
intended victim of the hack,
he said.
S he looked up to find a
young man in his early
thirties, dark hair and a
stubble, dressed in a casual
pair of jeans, settling onto a
bar stool next to her.
You dont know me, but I
used to work for Thornton
and the hack was my way at
getting back at him.
Ah, so it was the case of a
disgruntled former
employee, after all.
Knowing Thornton, hell
probably penalise you for
this. Id like to make it up to
you.
Womans Era July (First) 2017
But I dont even know
your name.
You dont need to. I also
happened to hack into
Thorntons computer a few
days ago. I have some
information that could be
useful to you.
Mandy continued to stare
at him dumbfounded.
Thornton is about to
report a steep loss and future
earnings warning at the
investors meeting next
week. It will cause the share
price to slide. Youll be better
served if you sell your shares
in Thornton Enterprises right
now.
With that, Mr Thingummy
slid off the bar stool and
headed out of the bar. Long
after he was gone, Mandy
still sat in the hole-in-the-
wall, drinking and mulling
events over till her thoughts
became difficult to dissect in
any coherent way.
She woke up the next day
with a terrible hangover. By
afternoon, when her
headache had mostly
subsided, she decided on a
clear agenda to sell her
stock options in Thornton
and find herself another job.
Any thoughts about
reporting Thorntons
computer hack got shoved
aside.
Sure enough, as the
young man had stated,
Thornton went on to report a
loss and lowered the
earnings guidance at the
next investors meet. The
market reacted adversely
but, because of her timely
sale, Mandy was adequately
shielded. In the final analysis,
she realised that the profit
she made from the sale of
the stock options far
exceeded any bonus amount
that she may have received.
Later that summer,
Mandy was in Paris for her
much-awaited vacation. On a
cool and clear night, as the
moonrays streamed gently
into the hotel room, she got
out of the bed, where Remi,
her French date lay sprawled
across, bare. She paced up to
the window and looked out.
The waters of the river Seine
flowed serenely in the night
and one could spot the Eiffel
Tower looking majestic in
the distance. Below the
window, there were a few
passers-by, when Mandy
noticed a figure standing
under the streetlight. He
seemed somewhat familiar,
young looking and dressed in
a casual pair of jeans. Could
that be the unknown hacker?
She couldnt tell.
N ext morning, when
Mandy went for a walk,
she saw that unknown
hacker standing next to a
flower shop. Hey! You
are..., she still couldnt
recognise that familiar face.
Yes! I am the same person,
the unknown hacker, he
said.
Thanks for disclosing
about Thorntons loss, I sold
all my shares and made lots
of profit, Maudy said. But
why did you hack the
website?, she added.
I now realise that I did
wrong. After all, who am I to
punish Thornton. I was
happy seeing his loss initially
but now I have understood
that no happiness lasts for
long if it comes through
someones loss. The divine is
right up there to balance our
lives with profits and losses,
he said and started walking.
There was a change in the
breeze instantly and Mandy
went back to the hotel. We
Pay less attention to what
people say and more
attention to what they do.
T
he uterine cavity is lined by a
specialised mucous membrane
called, endometrium, which
undergoes cyclic change of the
menstrual cycle regulated by ovarian
hormones. The purpose of this is to
prepare a soft bed for the incoming
fertilised ovum to implant and grow.
Menstruation represents the
rolling back, breaking down and
casting off of this bed (secretary
endometrium) prepared for a
pregnancy which does not materialize
and so is sometimes described as,
the weeping of a disappointed
uterus with bloody tears.

A medical problem
women should be
aware of.
By Dr B.L. Nagpal

Definitions
Endometriosis is defined as
the presence of ectopic
endometrium in any situation
outside its normal location,
namely, the lining of the cavity
of the uterine body. It is of two
types:
Endometriosis interna, also
called adenomyosis, is
characterised by a deep invasion of
a muscular layer (myometrium) by
islets of endometrium from the basal
layer.
Endometriosis externa, in which
there is a formation of endometrium-
like masses, also called as
endometriomas, in a variety of places
in the female pelvis and abdominal
cavity.
It is rare to find both the types to
be present together in the same
patient provided strict diagnostic
criteria are observed. They arise in
different ways and finding of one type
is almost certain in the absence of the
other.
 The ectopic endometrium
responds to the stimulus of oestrogen
and to a lesser degree of
progesterone and bleeds periodically.
The evidence sites where
endometriosis externa
(endometriomas) are found as follow:
One or both ovaries, tubes, outer
surface of uterus, pelvic peritoneum,
pouch of Douglas, uterovesical pouch,
uterosacral ligaments, rectovaginal
septum, rectum, intestines, bladder,
cervix, umbilicus, hernia sac and even
far away like thigh, arm, pleura etc.
Evidence
The evidence of present or past
endometriosis is found in about 10-20
per cent of laparotomies carried out
by a gynaecologist. In our own study,
carried out on 500 hysterectomy
specimens, endometriosis was
detected in 26 per cent of the cases.
Aetiology
The aetiology and pathogenesis of
endometriosis is poorly understood. It
is a disease of those decades of a
womans life in which ovarian activity
is at its height (30-40 years).
Endometriosis is unknown before
puberty and active disease is
extremely rare after menopause.
Hence it may almost be regarded as a
disease caused by prolonged
hyperoestrinism. The rich and higher
social classes are affected most
because they marry late and restrict
pregnancy. Genetic factors can also
operate as endometriosis affecting
more than one family member has
been observes.
Pathogenesis (mechanism of
origin)
Endometriosis interna
(adenomyosis): As per established
view, it results from the downgrowth
of cells of the basal layer of
endometrium.
Endometriosis externa: Of the
many theories put forward to explain
endometriosis, only three are worth
consideration.
Implantation theory
Sampson of Albany, USA, was the
first to suggest in 1921 that
96
endomeriosis externa was due to
implantation of living endometrial
cells on the surface of the ovary and
pelvic peritoneum. These cells were
supposed to be cased into the uterine
cavity during menstruation, pass
along the tubes (backward flow of
menstrual discharge) and finally settle
and grow at the site of future lesion
from these primary lesion, there may
be secondary scatter.
Metaplasia of serosal cell theory
According to this theory,
endometriosis externa results from
the metaplastic change (change of
one type of cell into another) of
peritoneal mesothelium. It postulates
that embryonic cells capable of
cysts are of variable size with an
Bisected uterus showing symmetrical
enlargement, thickening of wall and two
large rounded dark brown areas and a few
tiny similar areas in the myometrium on
microscopic examination, these areas
were made up of endometrial glands,
stroma, fresh blood and evidence of old
hemorrhage.
peritoneal mesothelium. It postulates
that embryonic cells capital of
differentiating into uterine cells
remain in and around the peritoneum
of the pelvis and surface epithelium of
ovaries.
Lymphatic and vascular
embolism theory
Small fragments of endometrium
break off and enter the lymph vessels
and blood vessels and are carried to
distant places where they are arrested
and from endometriosis.
Once the endometrial cells are
shifted from their normal site, these
still require other factors to survive
and proliferate. One of the most
important of these is oestrogen.
An islet of endometriosis responds
to hormonal stimuli resulting in
Womans Era July (First) 2017
cyclical changes characteristic of
menstruation. However, there is no
outlet for its menstrual discharge and
blood and debris collect within the
tissues to from a cyst. With each
menstrual episode, the collection
increases in size but continued
absorption of some of the fluid
content causes the blood to become
inspissated and dark coloured or
chocolate coloured cyst.
Pathology
The uterus in adenomoyosis
shows symmetrical enlargement all
though, one wall may be thicker than
the other. Sometimes a localised area
of adenomyosis is seen in a small
region of the uterus where it may be
indistinguishable from a fibroid.
Occasionally small collections of
blood with dark red colour can be
seen in the myometrium.
In the endometriosis, multiple
chocolate coloured cysts are present
on the ovaries, tubes, uterus,
ligaments and several other sites in
the pelvis and abdominal cavity. These
average diameter of 2-4 cms. The
affected ovaries and tubes are
prolapsed and fixed to the back of the
uterus, broad ligaments and other
structures with dense adhesions.
Microscopic examination of the
affected areas shows endometrial
glands, stroma, fresh blood and
evidence of old blood.
Symptoms and signs
The clinical features depend on the
location and extent of disease. Minor
degree of endometriosis may be
asymptomatic.
In almost all cases of adenomyosis,
the presenting complaint is of
irregular and excessive bleeding
(menorrhagia) of a severe degree and
about half the cases also complain of
heaviness in the pelvis which is worse
in the premenstrual phase. Infertility
is also a common symptom. On
examination, there is symmetrical
enlargement of the uterus.
The classical symptom of pelvic
endometriosis is pain during
menstruation (dysmenorrhoea). The
pain comes on gradually for a few
days before menses and may reach
maximum at the end of menses.
Thereafter, pain subsides slowly but
may not disappear completely
between the periods. Any woman
over 30 years who suddenly develops
congestive dysmenorrhoea should
suggest a diagnosis of endometriosis.
Deep-seated pain on coitus
(dyspareunia) is also a common
symptom.
The exact site of pain depends on
the site of lesion, with multiple lesions
in the pelvis, it is a deep-seated, dull
ache, appreciated in the region of
mid-pelvis and referred to the lumber
region, rectum and lower abdomen. A
sudden acute attack of pain
simulating appendicitis may occur due
to rupture of a cyst. Sterility is
common. Other symptoms like pain
on defecation, dysuria, haematuria,
general ill health and off and on fever
may be present.
Pelvic examination may reveal
tender indurated masses especially if
carried at the onset of menses.
Diagnosis
Ultrasound examination and MRI
are of limited value. The diagnosis is
confirmed on laparoscopy.
Treatment
The treatment of endometriosis
varies with the site, extent and
symptoms of disease along with age
of the patient, if the endometriomas
are small and multiple and producing
few symptoms, these may be left
alone. They sometimes become
inactive after a time.
A majority of women suffering
from endometriosis are sterile and
spontaneous cure occurs if pregnancy
supervenes. Hence the patient should
be encouraged for that and appropriate
procedures should be undertaken in
the hope of facilitating conception.
Amelioration of endometriosis
after pregnancy and after menopause
provides the basis of medical
treatment using a variety of hormone
therapies like contraceptive pills. Pain
killers (NSAID) may be needed during
menses.
A laparoscopic ablation of
endometriomas along with uttering
nerve ablation significantly reduces
the symptoms. Women who no longer
desire children can be treated with
total abdominal hysterectomy alone
with bilateral salpingo -
oophorectomy (TAH-BSO)
Prognosis
The prognosis for reproductive
function in early or moderately
advanced endometriosis is good with
conservative treatment. TAH-BSO is
curative for patients with severe and
extensive disease. We
Believe you can and youre
halfway there.

She taught me!

With grave thoughts and teary eyes
I stood on the porch, staring at the twilight skies
A couple of days ago, I saw a poor heart
Feeling rotten in love, almost getting ripped apart
Perhaps an abandoned baby!
Not yet matured to process the world
But matured enough to forgive the bad.
What does a two-years-old baby girl know
About her mom and her dad?
Pushing the thoughts aside, I turned back.
For once and forever, I knew,
A babys smile is the purest thing on Earth ever found.
Theres magic in her smile! I guess, I found myself too smiling
I approached her and wondered whether,
So bright had the sun ever been shining.
What do you think, world?
If you hurt a girl, she will just cry out loud and roll?
If you think so you are wrong, absolutely wrong.
She will be strong,
Whatll be screaming... Just her soul.
Thank you, dear, youve taught me
When everythings against me, I wont flee
I would rather roar with courage, Oh yeah? Try me.
Pranavi Sreesa.

98 Womans Era July (First) 2017

Pregnancy And
A sthma is a chronic lung condition.
During pregnancy asthma can affect
both mother and babys health.
Knowing facts about asthma and
pregnancy can prevent serious
complications, including death.
Poorly controlled severe asthma
poses many risks during pregnancy
like severe morning sickness, vaginal
bleeding, high blood pressure with or
without damage to other organs like
kidneys, complicated labour,
premature birth, low birth weight or
sometimes intrauterine death of
foetus/baby.
Asthma is further classified
according to the severity of
symptoms into four classes. Asthma
may get better, remain same or
worsen with pregnancy. Worsening
is observed more commonly, when
the asthma is severe. The symptoms
being worse in third trimester of
pregnancy.
Asthma medications are usually
safe during pregnancy. Most
measures used to control asthma are
not harmful to the developing baby
and do not appear to contribute to
either miscarriage or birth defects.
Inhalers remain the mainstay of
treatment with minimum sideeffect on
baby. There are two kinds of
medications in inhaler: Reliever and
Controller. Mainstay in any asthma
treatment is inhaled corticosteroids.
Unlike oral corticosteroids, inhaled
are safe to use for both mother and
baby. Not taking asthma medications
or changing the routine of asthma
medications may worsen the
symptoms and it may cause lowering
of oxygen levels in baby. Oral
steroids, which are life-saving in
emergency situations, are required
more if asthma medication advice is
not followed. Oral steroids has been
linked with increased risk of
complications in mother and baby
Reliever/rescue medications
needs to be started at home if there
is an asthma flareup. Symptoms
encountered in an asthma flare up
are breathlessness, cough, tightness
in chest, wheezing or laboured
breathing. If an asthma flare-up
occurs, mother should become
attentive of foetal activity and if less
activity is observed, urgent medical
advice should be sought.
Most of the moms are worried
about that whether asthma is being
passed on to baby or not? There is a
risk of allergy running in family as it
does have a genetic predisposition
too. Smoking mothers children have
a 3-6 times more likelihood of having
severe asthma and fourfold higher
risk of having severe asthmatic
episode requiring emergency visits
and admission. High levels of
exposure to electromagnetic fields
(EMF) including from microwaves,
hair dryers and power lines can
lead to a threefold higher rate of
asthma compared to those whose
moms had the lowest exposure.
Vitamin C, vitamin D, antioxidants,
fish oil derived fatty acid (Omega 3)
may reduce wheeze and asthma in
offspring. But we need to understand
more about it. Is nutrition really too
much of a good thing? Nutrional
supplements dont come with all
benefits and no risk. Excess of
vitamin A, E, D, all in fish oil, can be
harmful for foetus. One should not
take any of supplements without
consulting a gynaecologist.
Future may give us a chance to
get in personalised medical treatment
by actually taking a small drop of
blood, check a woman's blood levels
and then we can actually do a
diagnostic and target nutrition
intervention based on what the
mother's eating and prevent diseases
in new born.
Charak Hospital & Research Centre, Near Safed Masjid, Dubagga, Hardoi Road, Lucknow, U.P.
For appointment: Mob: +91 9919040000, 8005044444, E-mail: thechestclinic123@gmail.com
an overview
Dr A K Singh
MBBS, MD, European Diploma in
Respiratory Medicine (EDRM),
FCCP (USA)
Dos & dont of asthma in
pregnancy:
Ask about Asthma Action Plan
from your chest physician.
Avoid asthma triggers like dust
mites, smoking, cockroach
antigen, animal dander, molds,
etc.
Treat allergic nasal symptoms
and gastroesophageal reflux
(GERD) promptly.
Get a flu shot (flu vaccine)
either in first, second or third
trimester.
Get an ultrasound to detect any
foetal growth restriction at 32
weeks.
Don't stop taking the medication
or adjust the dosage on your
own.
Dont stop allergy shots if taking
before pregnancy.
Dont start allergy shots during
pregnancy if not already on it.
Dont use microwave, hair dryer
and vacuum cleaners.
Dont stop breastfeeding if you
are on medications.
The target goal in treating asthma
in pregnancy is preventing asthma
attacks and thus ensuring adequate
oxygen delivery to the baby. In a
well-controlled asthma patient,
outcome of pregnancy is excellent for
both mother and baby.

T
he young man stood aside from
the crowds pouring into the
station. Reluctantly he turned
away to join a bus queue, knowing all
too well that if he were to travel by
train he would panic.
The fear of being trapped in an
enclosed space is one of those
phobias which requires a radical
change of outlook. The victims real
dread is not of a physical trap but of
being trapped by life, of being buried
alive under a suffocating influence
usually within the family circle.
The young man in question lives
with his parents. Until recently he was
content with this arrangement,
enjoying leisure hours in the company
of friends with no interference from
his father or mother. One day, out of
the blue, an opportunity came for
work which would take him away
from home. The post was attractive,
but on his fathers advice, he turned
down the offer. At the same time he
gave up his girl because of mothers
disapproval of his choice of a possible
wife. The fact the firm he was to have
joined went bankrupt and that events
justified his mothers suspicions about
100
PHOBIAS Check with a psychologist.
the character of the girl made matters
worse, not better.
Shaken by the discovery that his
parents wisdom averted a double
disaster, the young man made the
fatal mistake of relying upon them in
all decisions relating to his personal
life fatal because once a human
being glimpses a life beyond the
parental home, he is never the same
again. For the first time he feels
trapped in his limited environment,
but much as he longs to enlarge his
scope he dare not take the plunge.
Acute claustrophobia of recent
origin can often be traced to this type
of situation. It is by no means
incurable. As soon as the victim
realises he has allowed himself to
become childishly dependent upon his
parents superior judgement, he is
freed, almost miraculously, from his
painful symptom. He does not, of
course, care to admit that the cure lies
within himself, protesting that he is
needed at home or that he is anxious
to avoid hurting the feelings of those
whose affection for him is beyond
dispute.
A man well over 40 in the throes of
claustrophobia advanced the plan
that his mother could not live without
him. He was, however, an honest,
forthright person and when it was
suggested that in fact he could not
live without her, his response was
Womans Era July (First) 2017
By I.M. Soni
immediate. That last named is the
case, said he, with a thump of the fist
which made the teacups bounce.
Since parents are by no means as
possessive as we are led to believe,
the last-named is, more often than
not the case.
Claustrophobia of long standing
presents a more difficult problem.
From adolescence the child is pulled
two ways reaching out for the
allurements and responsibilities of
adult life, yet trapped by an emotional
dependence upon the family. This is
specially true for the youngest son, or
daughter, of a large family whose
father died perhaps before his birth.
Long after he has reached years of
discretion, this child can be thwarted
at every turn by the well-meant advice
of brothers and sisters.
These claustrophobia patients do
not necessarily stay at home. Often
they hold responsible posts and
appear self-responsible. They travel
by public vehicles or work in a room
with the door closed. In churches
classrooms and cinemas, they are
careful to sit at the end of a row near
the exit. Social calls are anathema. In
addition, they may suffer from severe
vomiting.
They are, in fact, torn in two by an
insoluble conflict between the urge to
become mature adults. One youngest
daughter dreamed that she was
unable to escape from a locked room.
Outside her parents and brothers and
sisters were laughing at her. In short,
they would not take her seriously or
admit that at the age of 22 she was
capable of looking after herself.
Even so, there is a remedy for this
state of affairs. Young people, unsure
of them, often make the mistake of
arguing when there is nothing to
argue about. Too easily on the
defensive, they betray a sense of guilt
in opposing the wishes of those who
claim to know what is best for them.
NOT BETTER THAN US
Our elders, however, are not
necessarily our betters and, in any
case, they are generally sporting
enough to accept a situation once it is
clear that the baby of the family is
quietly determined to go his, or her,
own way, a statement of intention
made calmly and dispassionately,
need not hurt anyones feelings and
it can go a long way towards clearing
up claustrophobic symptoms.
Moreover, courage operates at
both the conscious and unconscious
levels. A young woman, faced with
the alternative of walking through a
short tunnel or taking a circuitous cliff
walk lost patience with her
claustrophobia and dreamed that, for
the first time, she defied her
autocratic father. The courage
enabled her, if only in a dream, to
stand up to the person she most
feared.
At the same time, we have to take
into account the fact that some young
people find the price of cure too high.
Claustrophobia though painful, may
be preferable to falling out of favour
with those upon whose approval they
are childishly dependent. Often these
unwanted sons and daughters need
the moral support of a friend or a
therapist to strengthen their
yearnings to an independent way of
life. It can be argued that the
Victorian daughter, young or
middle-aged kept house for her
parents without becoming neurotic.
We can go further and admit that,
even in this emancipated age, many a
woman is unable to relieve the tedium
of an uneventful existence by going
out to a job. One only-daughter
whose life was devoted to the service
of a mother well able to take care of
herself, lived by the principle that
Mother comes first: and because
she was sure of this she experienced
no conflict between parental
authority and the attractions of a
wider life, and therefore no
claustrophobia.
Trouble arises when a daughter, or
son, begins to doubt (not consciously),
whether family life should take
precedence over all else. There are, of
EVEN SO, THERE IS A
REMEDY FOR THIS STATE
OF AFFAIRS. YOUNG
PEOPLE, UNSURE OF
THEM, OFTEN MAKE THE
MISTAKE ARGUING WHEN
THERE IS NOTHING TO
ARGUE ABOUT.
course, occasions when the care of an
invalid leaves no room for personal
aspirations. If no alternative is
possible, acceptance of the situation
is a safeguard against conflict
between one way of life and another.
Agoraphobia is claustrophobia in
reverse for, while victims of the
latter feel the urge to break out of an
enclosed space, people with
agoraphobia cannot get home quickly
enough to the security of four walls
and a stout lock on the door. Some
are unable to leave the house at all,
though others can walk a short
distance before becoming panic-
stricken. Emotional shock appears to
Womans Era July (First) 2017
be at the root of this trying condition,
the victim being too disillusioned
about life to venture forth a second
time.
A young woman who had not
walked alone beyond the garden gate
since she was eight was found to have
unrealistic notions about human
nature. For instance, her conception
of the married state did not extend
beyond the altar, where she saw
herself robed in white and a sheaf of
white flowers and accompanied by an
impeccably attired, shadowy
bridegroom. The end came when a
woman she greatly admired was cited
as correspondent in a divorce suit.
From that time she retreated, as it
were, into the womb, safe from the
welter of experience which comes to
every adult who takes his or her
rightful place in society.
Temporary agoraphobia is not
uncommon after serious illness or
sudden bereavement when an
individual needs time to recover from
physical or emotional strain.
In general, however, agoraphobia,
like claustrophobia, demands a radical
change of outlook. The victims have
lost their nerve, but to force
themselves to travel that certain
distance from home is of no value
unless, at the same time, they are able
to confront their future with all its
unpredictable situation not as they
would like it to be, a safe, cosy place
where the good, and of course the
wicked are rewarded according to
their desserts.
The difference between
claustrophobia and agoraphobia is,
therefore, one of emphasis for, while
the claustrophobia is being driven out
into the world by this symptom, away
from the security of a restricted life,
the agoraphobias, if life itself would
settle down more or less contentedly
within four narrow walls. Both need a
little of the gambling spirit which
enables a human being to step out
boldly, braving the consequences of
mistakes. We
Bitterness is like cancer. It eats
upon the host. But anger is like fire.
It burns it all clean.
101
SUBTLE COURTESY
I
n life we need help from others on
a number of occasions and in
various ways. People also come
forward to help us when we request
them. But there are some special
occasions when we find someone
needing help but somehow that
person does not ask for our help.
Nevertheless, we voluntarily offer
help to that person. Quite often our
help is accepted gratefully and both,
that person and we are happy.
There is yet another situation
where we see someone needing help.
We may feel that that person is
struggling and is badly in need of
help. Sometimes we may just feel that
the other person can do with some
help from us. Think of a situation
where we see a person carrying some
heavy luggage (railway station) and
almost struggling with it. We
definitely feel a compulsion to offer
help to that person. Sometimes we
It charms. By Clifford Martis
may see someone doing something.
There seems to be no great need for
help from us. But somehow we feel
like offering help.
Let me tell you a concrete
instance. I am finding it a bit difficult
these days to climb steps. But I am
managing somehow with the help of a
walking stick. The other day
something close to this happened. I
was climbing the steps. A friend who
was going with me offered to help me
by holding my hand. I was quick to
say, "No, no. I can manage. And I did
manage but, after that, I felt bad that
I brushed aside his offer for help so
unceremoniously.
There is a function in your friends
house. You happen to reach a little
early and find that your friend is busy
arranging plates, glasses etc. You
gladly go and start extending help in
her work. In a very few cases the lady
may gracefully accept your help. But
in most cases the hostess may say,
"No, no. Why should you do this
work? I'll manage it in no time. You
are a guest. You please be seated in
the hall and engage the guests in
conversation as and when they
come. Don't you feel a slight, a very
slight, feeling of disregard or
disappointment?
It is in this type of situations that
we should consider whether or not
our acceptance of help is a very nice
thing to do. Isn't it a very nice thing to
accept help from someone who
makes an offer to help? It is almost
like showing courtesy to him or her.
That is why I say it is a subtle form of
courtesy. Should I say covert courtesy
or hidden courtesy?
Some people feel that those who
offer help (especially strangers) may
have some axe to grind and so some
are reluctant to accept help from such
persons. Such a possibility may be

there but it is not common and we
need not restrict our courtesy based
on this imaginary fear. There is yet
another problem which has cropped
up in recent times due to people
carrying or making others carry
explosive items. This is also a
dangerous thing. But can we refuse to
help someone merely on the basis of
this imaginary fear? Are we just
imagining danger or are we sure that
there is real danger? We need not
imagine that every such person is
bent upon taking us for a ride. Quite a
few persons may simply feel that they
should not trouble us.
On one occasion I was travelling
by train. At one station a family got in
a number of people including ladies
and children with much luggage. I lent
a helping hand and saw that they
were fairly comfortably settled. After
a while they opened their food
packets. They offered me some food.
Should I take it? Who were those
people? What was the food they
offered? Was it sensible for me to
partake of it? All these questions
troubled my mind. At last, I accepted
their food. I thought it was after all a
matter of courtesy.
SINCERE PRAISE
The other day something
interesting happened. In the dining
hall I sat at the table along with three
others. The next table was occupied
by three ladies. Once, when one of
the ladies came and was about to take
her seat, she felt as if I had said
something. Did you say something?
she asked. Actually I had not said
anything. She just got that
impression. I could have said the usual
thing. No, maam I didnt say take me as Jagmohan a new friend. I
anything, but I felt a strange
compulsion to make her feel
comfortable. I said, I said, you are a
nice lady. She smiled and thanked
IT IS IN THIS TYPE OF
SITUATIONS THAT WE
SHOULD CONSIDER
WHETHER OR NOT OUR
ACCEPTANCE OF HELP
IS A VERY NICE THING
TO DO. ISN'T IT A VERY
NICE THING TO ACCEPT
HELP FROM SOMEONE
WHO MAKES AN OFFER
TO HELP?
me. If I had told her the truth that I
had not said anything, she would have
accepted it. But there is a possibility
that she would have continued to
doubt whether or not I had said
something and what it was that I had
said.
Carrying a small parcel or packet
on behalf of a person in our place has
been a common feature. People never
grudge this small help. But I must
confess that once I was given a small
bottle of ginger preserve (a delicious
sweet preparation with tender ginger
in sugar syrup) to be handed over to a
person in the place I was going to. I
thought of merely smelling the item.
It was so delicious that I was tempted
to take just one piece and put it in my
mouth. I am ashamed to say that I
finished the whole bottle before I
could reach my destination.
Sometimes we see someone who
looks like a friend. So we raise our
hand to salute that person. But when
we come a little closer we find that he
or she is a total stranger. We look the
other side and behave as if we had
not saluted at all. This is a peculiar
situation. Can we smile and mention
our name and have a brief quick
introduction? Sir, I thought you were
Shrinivas, my old friend from the
college. Suppose he says, Not
Shrinivas and not old friend. You can
work in Bowring Hospital.
Once, I went to see an ashram for
destitutes. The person in charge took
me around and showed all the places,
and arrangements made for the poor
people. Finally, he invited me to lunch.
I never knew that he had arranged
lunch. I felt very delicate to eat there.
I also felt difficult to eat food there
because of the level of cleanliness and
general situation of lack of
cleanliness. Then I thought that if I
dont eat with the people what
kindness would I be showing. Just
giving a donation wont do. I should
be willing to take food with them.
That is real charity. I ate the food.
There is a touching story about a
small child. Her mother took her in the
city bus. The bus was badly crowded.
There were two nuns and they
lovingly took the little one on their
lap. When the time came to get down
the nuns told the childs mother as a
secret, Dont tell anything to your
baby. She thinks that we are
penguins!
Nowadays, I find that while
travelling in a crowded city bus, young
ladies offer me their seats. I do accept
their help and feel comfortable. At
times I feel like declining their offer as
they are ladies. But suddenly it dawns
on my mind that I have grown old! We
A journey of a thousand miles
begins with a single step. Lao Tzu.
Breast Cancer
What you need to know
C ancer is a disease in which cells in the
body grow out of control. When cancer
starts in the breast, it is called breast
cancer. Breast cancer is the second most
common cancer in women.
Factors which increase the risk
for Breast Cancer?
Risk factors include
Getting older. The risk for breast
cancer increases with age; most
breast cancers are diagnosed after
age 50.
Genetic mutations. Inherited changes
(mutations) to certain genes, such as
BRCA1 and BRCA2. Women who have
inherited these genetic changes are at
higher risk of breast and ovarian
cancer.
Early menstrual period. Women who
start their periods before age 12 are
exposed to hormones longer, raising
the risk for breast cancer by a small
amount.
Late or no pregnancy. Having the first
pregnancy after age 30 and never
having a full-term pregnancy can raise
breast cancer risk.
Starting menopause after age 55. Like
starting ones period early, being
exposed to estrogen hormones for a
longer time later in life also raises the
risk of breast cancer.
Not being physically active. Women
who are not physically active have a
higher risk of getting breast cancer.
Being overweight or obese after
menopause. Older women who are
overweight or obese have a higher
risk of getting breast cancer than
those at a normal weight.
Having dense breasts. Dense breasts
have more connective tissue than
fatty tissue, which can sometimes
make it hard to see tumours on a
mammogram. Women with dense
breasts are more likely to get breast
cancer.
Using combination hormone therapy.
Taking hormones to replace missing
estrogen and progesterone in
menopause for more than five years
raises the risk for breast cancer. The
hormones that have been shown to
increase risk are estrogen and
progestin when taken together.
Taking oral contraceptives (birth
control pills). Certain forms of oral
contraceptive pills have been found
to raise breast cancer risk.
Personal history of breast cancer.
Women who have had breast cancer
are more likely to get breast cancer a
second time.
C/38, Sector-20, Near DM Camp Office, Noida (U.P). Pin: 201301.
Ph: 0120-4241012, 9910255002, E-mail: drvandana1@yahoo.co.in
Dr Vandana Singh
MBBS, MS (Obs & Gynae)
Consultant Obstetrician & Gynaecologist
Personal history of certain non-
cancerous breast diseases. Some non-
cancerous breast diseases such as
atypical hyperplasia or lobular
carcinoma in situ are associated with a
higher risk of getting breast cancer.
Family history of breast cancer. A
womans risk for breast cancer is
higher if she has a mother, sister, or
daughter (first-degree relative) or
multiple family members on either her
mothers or fathers side of the family
who have had breast cancer. Having
a first-degree male relative with breast
cancer also raises a womans risk.
Previous treatment using radiation
therapy. Women who had radiation
therapy to the chest or breasts (like
for treatment of Hodgkins
lymphoma) before age 30 have a
higher risk of getting breast cancer
later in life.
Women who took the drug
diethylstilbestrol (DES), which was
given to some pregnant women in the
United States between 1940 and 1971
to prevent miscarriage, have a higher
risk. Women whose mothers took DES
while pregnant with them are also at
risk.
Drinking alcohol. Studies show that a
womans risk for breast cancer
increases with the more alcohol she
drinks.
What Are the Symptoms of Breast
Cancer?
New lump in the breast or underarm
(armpit).
Thickening or swelling of part of the
breast
The Women Clinic
Irritation or dimpling of breast skin.
Redness or flaky skin in the nipple area
or the breast.
Pulling in of the nipple or pain in the
nipple area.
Nipple discharge other than breast
milk, including blood.
Any change in the size or the shape of
the breast.
What you Can Do to Reduce the
Risk of Breast Cancer?
Keep a healthy weight.
Exercise regularly (at least four hours
a week).
Research shows that lack of nighttime
sleep can be a risk factor.
Dont drink alcohol, or limit alcoholic
drinks to no more than one per day.
Avoid exposure to chemicals that can
cause cancer (carcinogens) and
chemicals that interfere with the
normal function of the body.
Limit exposure to radiation from
medical imaging tests like X-rays, CT
scans, and PET scans if not medically
necessary.
If you are taking, or have been told to
take, hormone replacement therapy
or oral contraceptives (birth control
pills), ask your doctor about the risks
and find out if it is right for you.
Breastfeed any children you may have,
if possible.
If you have a family history of breast
cancer or inherited changes in your
BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes, you may be at
high risk for getting breast cancer. Talk
to your doctor about more ways to lower
your risk.
How Is Breast Cancer Diagnosed?
Breast ultrasound
Diagnostic mammogram.
Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI).
Biopsy.
How Is Breast Cancer Treated?
Surgery.
Chemotherapy.
Hormonal therapy.
Biological therapy.
Radiation therapy.

MYRIAD MYTHS
Concerning hereditary ailments. By T. Rajagopalan
W
hen Chandana and her
husband Chandru were told
by their family doctor in
whose diagnoses of various ailments
in their household they had employed
faith that their first-born suffered
from serious hereditary heart defects,
they were convulsed with utter shock.
They decided not to have another
child although the couple, in their
flood tide of youth, led a happy sexual
life and their health was as fit as a
fiddle. The next one would be bound
to inherit this defect, too said
Chandana in deep distress. But she
was woefully wrong about the way
heredity operates and so are a
plethora of parents who apprehend
inherited conditions.
The scientific study of heredity
genetics and has leapfrogged in
recent times geneticists can now
make an estimate in advance of the
risks of certain diseases and defects
recurring in families. The Chandrus,
for instance, steered by their doctor
to a geneticist well trained in hearty
counselling found that the risk of
repetition of their babys heart defect
was only five per cent.
Until around half a century ago
most hereditary diseases were
predicted as per mathematical ratios
established in the 19th century by
Greg or Mendel, the Augustinian
monk. The Mendelian formula: if
simple recessive genes (the chemical
particles which transmit heredity) is
one in four; if a dominant gene is
responsible, the risk rises up to one in
two. Today, however, a large majority
of geneticists agree that many
common defects with a hereditary
basis also have environmental causes.
It is the rare disease, they now are
aware, that tends to follow the
Mendelian pattern. Risks for most of
the widespread diseases with no
inherited basis are likely to be much
lower. Furthermore, our genes may
act irregularly and frequently as a
group of them rather than just one
may be at work. In other words,
heredity and the prenatal
environment function together to
produce a great many so-called
inherited conditions.
Thus, most birth defects arent
predestined at all. They can result
from the mothers exposure to X-rays
when she is in the family way (albeit
this is extremely rare), poor maternal
diet, accidents in the uterus or at birth
and an array of other factors
clubfoot for example, may be caused
by an irregularity in the early
developments of the embryo, or a
genetic condition. German measles
during the early weeks of pregnancy
can cause blindness, deafness or
mental retardation in babies.
Albeit a large number of birth
defects seldom occur more than once
in the offspring of the same parents,
other abnormalities, like cleft palate
harelip, clubfoot and the spinal
malformation known as spinabifida,
for example demonstrate a definite
tendency to recur.
LITTLE CHANCE OF A
REPEAT
Thus, geneticists recon there is a
four per cent chance of a repeat if you
have one child with a harelip. For
clubfoot, chances range from three to
eight per cent if one is already
afflicted.
Occasionally, an inherited
abnormality may turn up even though
there has been no previous sign of it
in the family. Take the Chakrabortys,
for example. They had the misfortune
to produce an albino baby. Their
family doctor apprised them that
albinism a strange and baffling
defect in pigmentation which leaves
the skin, eyes and hair whitish is an
inherited condition.
At first they refused stubbornly to
believe him because they already had
little girls with absolutely normal
colouring and knew of no albinism in
their families. But the Chakrabortys
learned it was usually recessive genes
that cause albinism. Both parents
must carry the same gene and
transmit it for a baby to be affected.
Recessives can stay hidden for many
generations, and since the Mendel
formula one in four chances of
repetition applies to albinism not all
110
THEY HAD THE
MISFORTUNE TO
PRODUCE AN
ALBINO BABY. THEIR
FAMILY DOCTOR
APPRISED THEM
THAT ALBINISM A
STRANGE AND
BAFFLING DEFECT IN
PIGMENTATION
WHICH LEAVES THE
SKIN, EYES AND
HAIR WHITISH IS
AN INHERITED
CONDITION.
the offsprings of such a marriage
would be albinos.
Anyone who has questions about
heredity needs to see the family
physician. In the event the physician is
not able to answer them, he or she
can consult a geneticist or refer the
patent to one. In a number of
countries geneticists counsel the
patients through clinics, universities
or medical institutions after receiving
the genetic answers to the queries
and make their own decisions.
Concerning mental illnesses such
as schizophrenia or manic depressive
psychoses it is to be made clear that
hereditary factors can take place in
both. When both parents have
schizophrenia, the offspring has an
even chance of developing it, too. For,
presumably, all children of
schizophrenic parents possess the
Womans Era July (First) 2017
genes that permit the disease to
appear if the environmental causes of
retardation are still among the
biggest puzzles in the medical realm,
but certain types are doubtlessly
inherited.
What about the personality and
intelligence? Children tend to
resemble their parents in intelligence
but we know too little about the
genetics of mental ability to make
accurate predictions. Even less is
known about the genetics of
personality and temperament, but
geneticists probably wouldnt be
surprised if what has been called the
neurotic disposition proves to carry
over from one generation to the next.
Can hereditary diseases be
prevented? The prospects are
becoming promising. Take diabetes.
Susceptibility to diabetes is inherited
but not the disease itself. Preventive
medicine, practised by susceptible
families will increase their chances of
escaping the disease. Anybody with a
family history of diabetes should
control his or her weight to avoid
obesity since overweight often seems
to trigger the disease. A periodic
check-up can find the abnormal to
tolerence for glucose, a sign of
potential diabetes even if the disease
cannot be completely controlled,
early diagnosis and prompt treatment
can do a lot to keep more serious
complications from developing.
Pernicious anaemia, an inherited
illness that used to be fatal but can
now be treated successfully, is
another case in point. An alteration in
gastric juice is evidence before the
pernicious anaemia develops.
Relatives of victims of pernicious
anaemia can take preventive
measures if they undergo regular
medical examinations to detect signs
of this change. Prospects for
prevention of this kind of inherited
disease will improve as families learn
to discuss hereditary problems with
their doctors instead of concealing
them. We
In life we all have an unspeakable
secret, an irreversible regret,
an unreachable dream and an
unforgettable love.
I t is the most common cancer in
women in urban India. One in 14 women
will be diagnosed with breast cancer in
their lifetime. It is a highly curable cancer
if detected early.
Symptoms?
Breast lump, changes in nipple
An ulcer, dimpling of the skin of
breast, skin thickening, increase in size of
the breast.
Swelling or discomfort in the armpit.
Unusual breast pain unrelated to
menses, occuring in one breast only.
Sometimes cancer is found on a
screening x-ray mammogram
What are the causes?
Exact cause is not known,
Old age (over 50). 20-25% occurs in
less than 50 years
Family history of breast cancer
Post menopausal hormone replacement
therapy
Genetic (5% cases)
Beginning your period at a younger
age and menopause at an older age.
Having your first child at an older age
(more than 30).
Having been never pregnant.
Drinking alcohol.
Diagnosis
Several tests are usually used to find
out if your breast change is due to breast
cancer. Doctor will take history and
examine your breasts and underarms for
lymph nodes
Mammogram
A mammogram is a low-dose x-ray of
the breast tissue. This scan can find
changes that are too small to be felt
through a physical examination. Women
aged 5069 should have regular
screening mammograms
Ultrasound
An ultrasound is a painless scan that
uses sound waves to create a picture of
your body.
Biopsy
You will need a biopsy if an abnormal
area of tissue is found in your breast. A
Dr. S M Shuaib Zaidi, MBBS, MS, DNB, MCh. (Surgical Oncology)
Fellowship Breast and thoracic Surgery Oita University Hospital Japan / Fellowship Robotic Surgery IRCAD (France)
Senior Consultant, Department of Surgical Oncology, Indraprastha Apollo Hospital, Sarita Vihar, New Delhi.
Mobile: 9958996258, Email: shuaib_z@rediffmail.com
small amount of tissue is removed from
your breast for microscopic examination.
Biopsy establishes the diagnosis and
never leads to spread of cancer.
Types of Tissue sampling:
Fine needle aspiration Cytology
(FNAC) A thin needle is used to take
some cells from the breast lump or
abnormal area.
Core biopsy A wider needle is used
to remove a core of tissue. It is usually
done under local anaesthetic, so your
breast is numb.
Sometimes an ultrasound or
mammogram is used to help guide the
needle.
Surgical biopsy Sometimes surgical
open biopsy is done if core biopsy fails to
establish the diagnosis.Surgical biopsy is
done only if other biopsies are inconclusive.
Some Facts
about
Breast
Cancer
Biopsy tissue is sent for hormone
receptors (ER PR), HER2-neu and Ki67
markers which are very important in
treatment and prognosis
Further tests
Investigations are done for general
health and to stage the disease are: Blood
tests, Chest x-ray, CT scan, PET scan
(whole body CT scan plus radioactive
scan) for staging of cancer. MR
mammogram is done in young patients
or patients with dense breasts who desire
breast conservation surgery.
A PET and MRI are not routine tests
but they may be used if other types of
scans dont give doctors the information
they need.
Staging breast cancer
Stage 1 Tumour is less than 2 cm size
Stage 2 Tumouris less than 2 cm with
lymph nodes spreadn
Stage 3 Tumour more than 5 cm
with lymph nodes and/or involving skin
or chest wall
Stage 4 Involvement of liver, lungs,
bone and brain and distant organs
Grading breast cancer
Grade should not be confused with
Stage.
The grade shows how fast the cancer
is growing.
Prognosis or Expected Outcome
Most people with early breast cancer
can be treated successfully. Survival rates
have increased significantly over time due
to better diagnostic tests and scans,
earlier detection, and improvements in
treatment methods.
A cure may still be possible for people
with more advanced breast cancer. For
other people, treatment can reduce
symptoms and improve quality of life.
Treatment
Treatment may include surgery,
radiotherapy, chemotherapy, hormone
therapy and targeted therapies. Usually
more than one treatment is used.
The choice of treatment will depend
on your test results; where the cancer is,
if the cancer has spread , whether the
cancer has the estrogen, progesterone
Dr. S M Shuaib Zaidi
MBBS, MS, DNB, MCh. (Surgical Oncology)
or HER2 receptor protein, your age,
general health and your preferences.
If you talk to other people with breast
cancer, remember there are different
categories of breast cancer and the best
treatment for one person may not be the
best treatment for another. Each
persons situation is different.
Treatment of stage 3 breast cancer is
chemotherapy to downsize the cancer
followed by surgery.
Surgery
Surgery for breast cancer will involve
one of the following: breast conserving
surgery removes part of the breast
ormastectomy removes the whole
breast. In most cases, breast surgery also
involves removing one or more lymph
nodes from the armpit.
Patient and surgeon undertake
decision of type of surgery jointly. Some
women do not want to have their whole
breast removed. Research has shown
that breast conserving surgery, with
sentinel node biopsy followed by
radiotherapy, is as effective as
mastectomy or complete removal, for
most women with early breast cancer.
Mastectomy is commonly done for locally
advanced or stage 3 breast cancer.
Radiotherapy may be given to the
breast after surgery to destroy any cancer
cells that may be left in the breast or armpit.

CONCENTRATION Leads to accomplishment.
I
f you look at your work as a
punishment and drudgery, you are
headed for failure. Look at it as a
pleasure, as a means for the
expression of your personality, and
you are courting success.
Lots of people, eager to woo
success, fail to do so because they act
as scatter-brains, and violate the
fundamental principle of success.
They give themselves niggardly credit
for their work. Their work is sloppy
and shoddy. The problem of putting
the mind in work is really the problem
of putting the mind in focus. It is
cultivating an interest in jobs that
have to be done. A successful person
does a thing when it should be done,
whether he wants to do it or not. He
INTENSITY OF
By I.M. Soni
or she is not a slave of his or her
tyrannical moods.
The mind has a natural inclination
to wander, to escape hard work.
Therefore, it is necessary to
cultivate the habit of yoking it. Once
the mind is tamed and attuned to
discipline, it will react naturally and
automatically to the demands put on
it. This amounts to resetting your
biological clock. It works wonders.
Lack of interest implies a play of
distractions. A mind divided against
itself can't produce the white heat
necessary for accomplishment of a
task. Distractions, whether these are
physical, emotional or mental, have to
be eliminated, otherwise these act
like horses pulling a carriage in
opposite directions which results in
conflict and a vague sense of
uneasiness, consuming energy. An
anaemic effort will thus produce
ineffectual work, a hallmark of failure.
Conflicts drain zest. Once zest is
lost, listlessness overtakes one. This
sets in inertia, which is another way of
saying that you want to laze away
your time without pouring your
hidden energies into your work. The
mind thus finds its own way of
misusing the energy which is spent
without realising any worthwhile
objectives.
A new attitude should put work in
the centre of your scheme of things. It
should not be the work of a slave. It
should be the work of a master who
forces his slaves to put in their
maximum. You have to be a hard
taskmaster to yourself.
It is a mistake to suppose that this
attitude is being cultivated to earn
money. Money might result from this
effort but its cultivation is essential
for the utilisation of a vast, hidden
source of energy inside you. It is also
necessary because this is the only way
to express your personality in a
tangible form. You can achieve some
semblance of perfection and
excellence. When a typist looks at a
letter typed neatly by her, she is doing
exactly what Picasso had done after
finishing a painting. Both are looking
at the end product of their labour
which is a product of their effort.
NEED FOR EXCELLENCE
Another alibi is that perfection and
excellence are to be attained in
creative spheres only. Writers, poets,
painters and musicians have to put in
their best as if ordinary mortals do not
need excellence in their work.
Nothing could be farther from reality.
Nothing is more disastrous to the
growth and development of a human
being.
Every human being spends about
half of his or her life at work. It is a
matter of regret if half of the life is
spent on doing slipshod and sloppy
work.
People engaged in creative activity
know this. They look upon work as a
mirror of their personality. Like
William Hazlitt they want to ask
themselves: Is there anything in which
no one else can equal me?
Will and vitality accomplish more
than genius. It is not eminent talent
that is required to ensure success in
any pursuit, as much as purpose not
merely the power to achieve, but the
will to labour.
Hang on to it. The mind will get
going. Momentum will be built up,
immersing you in the task. You can
achieve concentration by maximising
your effort and minimising
distraction. Concentration is the key
to growth. A mind that balks at
sticking to one thing for more than a
few minutes cannot be depended
114
upon to get you anywhere in your
career.
You know that you have within you
the spark which can ignite success.
You have the mental ability that can
take you high. But you are either
unaware of it or you are unmindful of
it. You go as it goes a waif.
You are using only one-tenth of
your real brainpower because your
focus is limited.
If you can't focus your mind, you
lack determination to get to a goal.
The desire to get to the goal is not
strong enough. T.W. Emerson aptly
says: "Weak minds have desires;
strong minds have goals."
Concentration is another name of
stick-ability. For example, if you are
learning English language, you have
to focus on many aspects like
punctuation, grammar, vocabulary,
style and objective. You need a gimlet
like tenacity. You cannot give up in
despair. Improve your power of
concentration by telling yourself that
the cost of it is inattention. Lack of
concentration means failure to hit the
bull's eye. A wandering mind gathers
no wool.
Discipline your mind to ward off
distractions. Steel your desire into a
goal. You cannot focus full blast on a
thing you think is trivial. Keep telling
yourself how important the goal is to
you, your career, life and self-esteem.
See yourself enjoying the privileges,
perks and power which follow after
you have reached your goal.
Concentration means directing the
wayward mind into a predetermined
goal. You can do it by constantly
harnessing your mind so that you put
the wayward threats off.
The quest for your goal is a fierce
concentration without it, you are
like an engine without steam. Shut
out the irrelevant. You cannot
concentrate on the trivial or the
significant. Use imagination. See
yourself finishing it with pride in
achievement. Nothing else equals the
joy of a deed accomplished. We
You gain strength, courage and
confidence by every experience in
which you really stop to look fear in
the face.
Womans Era July (First) 2017
Motherinlaw preference
I entered my husbands household
as the fourth DIL. My MIL has a soft
corner for me, perhaps due to the fact
that I was the youngest DIL. But my
eldest sister-in-law was very much
peeved at the favoritism meted out to
me and said, As you are the only
daughter of well-to-do parents, our MIL
is head over heels upon you. Im after
all a poor mans daughter. Could not
bring much dowry. Why should she
care for me?
Now, during the early days of our
marriage, my husband once advised me
softly, Look dear, never sit idle like
your elder sis-in-laws. She is after all an
old woman. I took his advice to my
heart and tried to help my MIL in
disgust. Trying to soap the old lady?
Carry on, girl. She would sneer at me.
Once I enquired my MIL why she
was so fond of me and not others. She
looked at me smilingly and said, My
child, you are my only DIL who he so
concerned about me like my own
daughter. Besides, whenever you refer
your husband to me, you mention as,
Your son and never as My
husband, which gives me a closeness,
which I fail to derive from others.
Sundanda Sankaran, Mumbai.
If you have had
an encounter with any
of your in-laws, let our
readers know it. Whether it is
pleasant or sour, it does not matter
so long as it is interesting and
illustrates human strengths and
weaknesses. All accepted
contributions will be paid `200 each.
Send you contributions. duly typed or
written in neat hand writing to.
IN-LAWS/OUT-LAWS
E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055.
Womansera.com
Name:
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S
he chose not only to dream big
but made her dreams come true
despite all odds! A recipient of
the Kerala State Disability Award for
Outstanding Achievement, Tiffany
Maria Brars story is a lesson to the
sighted never to give up despite all
odds! To be born blind and yet to show
the light to others is indeed a lesson in
grit and courage, of determination to
overcome tremendous obstacles
physical, mental and those of
discrimination and prejudice with
rare grace and unbreakable confidence
in oneself.
For their only child to be diagnosed
with an un-rectifiable retina problem at
six months was a tragically painful
setback for Lt Gen Brar and Maria Brar
who tried everything possible to
salvage the situation but to no avail.
Being naturally overprotective about a
child who was differently abled they
tried to give her a normal upbringing
but her experiences in the normal
schools were anything but normal.
When her mother told her that she was
a special child with unique abilities
and would have to learn everything at
school by touch, she knew she had a
long journey ahead of her but she said
she never expected the insensitivity of
others that she was to encounter in
schools from some fellow students and
116
Visible outcome of a sightless
womans vision. By Devayani Medhekar
teachers alike. But the happy child she
was, she accepted her condition and
never felt sad or asked, Why me?
Tiffanys challenges began at a very
early age. Constant transfers meant
moving in and out of schools which
even normally are quite traumatic for
children. Besides, school life was a
nightmare! We as people are
sometimes unfortunately quite
insensitive if not openly cruel to those
who have disabilities. Some in our
society often make jokes about people
slipping on a banana peel or laugh at
people who are handicapped in some
way. This is not how things should be
and of course there are several
exceptions but such situations do exist
and Tiffanys situation was no
exception.
The teachers at schools did not
know how to handle her; they
considered her a hindrance to the
classroom and generally ignored her by
not allowing her to participate. They
made her a back-bencher and
sometimes even forgot that she was
there. Fellow students too were
evasive and generally avoided her. In
short, she was isolated. To any child,
isolation is painful and, to a special
child like her it was even more painful.
And, worse, she had no one to turn to
for help. It was indeed a struggle, a
Womans Era July (First) 2017
struggle to demand to be treated fairly
and as an equal. Tiffany chose not to
despair and to fight on!
She got through not without
difficulty by mastering Braille. That too
was a challenge due to the laxity of the
organisations for the blind in providing
Braille materials in time to students like
her. She once told me that we would
either get the notes a few days before
the exams or at the end of the year
thus leaving no time for proper
preparation or revision.
As if this was not bad enough, her
life at home was far from perfect; her
mother, who was her main moral
support, was constantly ill and
frequently in and out of hospitals and
her father was always away on duty at
far- off places. With no one to look
after her she had to fend for herself
during her formative years at the
schools. All this added to her sense of
isolation but she was determined to
chart her own course and meet lifes
challenges head-on. Where most of us
would have given up, her resolve
became stronger!
One thing she didnt want was
sympathy. She was determined to
develop her other senses and show
everyone that she was equal to them
and in no way disabled. She wanted to
prove that just because she was blind
she was in no way inferior to anyone
and would not be pushed around. This
attitude also strengthened her resolve
to work for the betterment of blind
people and make the world aware of
their abilities and contributions as
useful citizens.
But hers was not an idealistic quest
and a dream - she did realise that she
lacked the skills a visually impaired
person required to get around and so
she had to join a special school to
develop them. Tiffany thus pressurised
her parents to enroll her in a special
school when they moved to Kalimpong
in Darjeeling District in 1998. Here
every child was treated equally and the
staff and headmistress encouraged
children to develop such skills that
helped them get over their disability.
Here Tiffany learnt mobility skills and
became fluent in Braille. She learnt
other skills too, to compensate for the
lack of sight. Tiffany told me, I was
happy here this is what Id wanted
and waited for for so long! I wanted to
get out of my sheltered and protected
existence and to become self-
sufficient! she added.
But this happy situation was marred
by her problems on the personal front
as in 1999 her father was called away
for the Kargil War and her mothers
health was failing and she was being
hospitalised more frequently. Tiffany
had to fend for herself and was at the
mercy of the domestic help. She finally
moved to the hostel at the School for
Visually Impaired and believe it or
not! there, the partially sighted
students bullied her! But by then she
had learnt to fight her own battles and
focused on her learning.
FEELING OF BEING
UNSETTLED
Amidst all this, the feeling of being
unsettled persisted. For some reason
she could not define , she yearned to
return to Kerala where her father had
been posted before they went to
Kalimpong. She paid heed to her
inner voice and returned to Kerala in
2001 after her mother had passed away
Tiffany was just 12 years old then!
On her return to Kerala she joined
the Government Integrated School and
later moved to the JMJ Convent,
Athani, in Thrissur district, and
completed her tenth standard after
which she moved to Wellington, near
Coonoor, where her father was posted
from 2004 to 2006.
Things finally started looking up for
her at Wellington when for the first
time she felt included as part of the
community and help came in from all
quarters her friends, teachers, and
her fathers assistant, all helped her to
complete her CBSE successfully by
helping her with her notes and lessons.
Another silver lining came in the
form of Vineeta, their domestic help,
who moved from Wellington with
them to Trivandrum by resigning her
permanent job to be with her.
BUT HERS WAS NOT AN
IDEALISTIC QUEST AND
A DREAM SHE DID
REALISE THAT SHE
LACKED THE SKILLS A
VISUALLY IMPAIRED
PERSON REQUIRED TO
GET AROUND AND SO
SHE HAD TO JOIN A
SPECIAL SCHOOL TO
DEVELOP THEM.
This kind and compassionate
Tamilian lady filled some of the void in
her life caused by her mothers
untimely death. Vineeta looked upon
Tiffany as her daughter and taught her
to become independent and perform
daily activities without anyones help.
While Tiffany grew proficient at
home she realised that she was not so
proficient in moving around
independently outside her house and
had to depend on a sighted person. All
this changed during her third year at
Government College for Women in
Trivandrum.
Tiffanys chance meeting in 2008
with the co-founders of Braille
Without Borders and Kanthari soon the second major phase of her
Sabriye Tenberken, the well-known
Womans Era July (First) 2017
German social worker and Paul
Kronenberg was a major turning
point in her life. The knowledge that
Sabriye was blind and had travelled
alone from her home country Germany
to Tibet and had set up a school for the
blind, truly inspired Tiffany. She could
do that too, she thought. And so
Sabriye became the driving force
behind Tiffanys determination to do
things for herself and be proactive in
helping those who were blind.
Tiffany says she still remembers the
day she felt truly liberated and found
the road to her independence she
took the cane Sabriye offered and left
her fathers hand (even though he
protested) to walk the uneven path
during a trip they undertook around
the Kanthari campus when it was
under construction! What a thrill that
was! she said while describing that
first independent walk!
Sabriye not only inspired her to use
the cane but travel alone and soon
Tiffany started travelling all around
Trivandrum by bus and later by train to
places outside Trivandrum too all by
herself! All this did wonders to her
confidence!
Tiffanys pursuit for independence
received a boost in 2009 when she
took up the job of a receptionist at the
international organisation Kanthari
(International) Educational and
Training Institute in Trivandrum and
lifes journey began she was able to
117
voice her opinion, to discuss as an
equal, learn computers and educate
herself with the latest technologies
that were designed to help the blind.
While at Kanthari, Tiffany
discovered that there were many
visually impaired people who were still
confined to their comfort zones, with
no one to bring them out. All the
discrimination she had faced during
her schooldays had strengthened her
resolve to work for the betterment of
people like her and to help them
establish themselves as useful citizens.
With this objective, in 2011, Tiffany
enrolled herself for a year in the
Special Education courses at the
Ramakrishna Mission Faculty of
Disability Management and Special
Education in Coimbatore, Tamil Nadu.
The interesting thing here was that
though it specialised in all disabilities,
she found that she was the only blind
student studying there at that time!
The faculty was very supportive and
even asked her to help in teaching the
other sighted candidates Braille and
cane techniques!
She successfully completed her
B.Ed in Visual Impairment Special
Education and enhanced her skills
further by attending the Kanthari
Leadership Course.
After her return to Kanthari and
discussions with Sabriye and others
working in the field of visual
impairment, Tiffany initiated a new
project the Jyothirgamaya
118
(Leading to Light) a mobile school for
the visually impaired. Her unique idea
was that if the visually impaired cannot
go to school then the school should
come to them! This was her project
from ideation to conceptualisation to
implementation!
While setting up her foundation
Jyothirgamaya she was first helped a
little by the organisation BWB. But
thereafter she did it all alone. She
travelled all over in search of the blind
in public transport. Though they had
auto-rickshaws equipped with solar
panels, she found public transport
more comfortable and cost- effective.
Her challenge was convincing the
parents of other blind students and
adults to allow their children to grow
like her. Some did and some still dont
WHILE SETTING UP
HER FOUNDATION
JYOTHIRGAMAYA
SHE WAS FIRST
HELPED A LITTLE BY
THE ORGANISATION
BWB. BUT THEREAFTER
SHE DID IT ALL ALONE.
SHE TRAVELLED ALL
OVER IN SEARCH OF
THE BLIND IN PUBLIC
TRANSPORT.
want to come out of the confines of
the four walls of their homes! But
Tiffany says she will keep trying to
convince them her enthusiasm and
sincerity are unmistakable and almost
guarantee her success!
Her search for untrained blind
people around Trivandrum finally got
her positive responses and they
wanted her services. Today, Tiffanys
mission is to empower the blind in all
spheres of life.
From 2012 since she started this
project, she has trained 50 people in
Braille, mobility, daily living skills and
basic computer use. Her daily routine
comprises taking classes from morning
to evening along with her team
Womans Era July (First) 2017
members either at the centre itself or
at the homes of the blind mostly in
rural areas. She wants to expand her
centre further by building a hostel and
subsequently have a building in her
own premises like Kanthari!
In December 2012 the Kerala
Government honoured Tiffany with the
Kerala State Disability Award.
GOVERNMENTS ROLE
She feels the government could
play a vital role in improving the lives
of the visually impaired if they
introduce latest technology at low
cost, improve safety on the road for
them by making public places more
accessible and by vigorously enforcing
the rights guaranteed to them by the
laws of the land. Government should
also educate the public so that there is
better understanding about the needs
of the blind and help propagate the
idea that they too can be useful
citizens if society helps them integrate
into the mainstream of socio-economic
life.
Tiffany is still the adventurer! She
feels her journey has just begun and
there are a lot of hurdles still to
overcome before her dreams are
fulfilled. She wants to enhance her
knowledge and introduce more
innovative techniques from other
reputed organisations to make her
students more independent
She would like to tell her fellow
sighted citizens to have a positive
attitude towards the differently-abled
and not to sympathise, but to
empathise with them. We dont want
to be pitied we want to be
understood and to be helped to
integrate ourselves in the mainstream
of life, she concluded. What a
determined bundle of energy Tiffany is!
Now a fine graceful young lady, her
life and determination are a lesson in
courage, grit and determination and an
embodiment of that never give up!
spirit that inspires and emboldens
others, even the more fortunate, to
face life squarely despite all odds! We
When we are no longer able to
change a situation, we are challenged
to change ourselves.
I am a working woman aged 27. Over the last eight months, a
colleague who had been transferred to our branch and I have
fallen in love and now this man has proposed to me. I long to
accept his proposal but I am afraid to because I have a dark
secret that I have kept hidden from everyone from the time I
moved to this city and began a new life.
Before I came to this city and was lucky enough to get a
good job here, my life was very different. I was the only child
of my parents and we were well-off, but I realised when I was
still young that my parents were different from the parents of
my classmates. My father didnt have a job to which he went
every day.
He kept odd timings, strange people came to our home at
strange times and the police came frequently too. And when
my parents were arrested for the first time, when I was nine, I
finally understood that my parents were criminals.
My life was hell during the years that followed. My parents
disappeared from my life periodically as further cases were
filed against them. During the times that they were away,
strange people became my guardians and moved me from
school to school. But studies were my one refuge from the
dirty life I lived and I immersed myself in my books and did
very well in both school and college.
Finally, I became a free adult. This was at a time when my
parents had been sentenced to a long stint in prison. I took
advantage of both these occurrences to tell my parents that I
wanted to live my own life. They
gave me permission to do so and I
moved to the city I am now living
in. With my excellent qualifications
I got a good job, and over time got
several promotions. I live by
myself and have absolutely no
contact with my parents.
And now I have fallen in love
and want to get married.
But I am wondering if I should tell my fiance about my past.
I do not want to because he is a very straightforward man and
I am sure that if I do, he will be shocked and not want to have
anything to do with me. Is it better that I dont tell him?
Even if you dont tell him, the world is a small place and
there is always the chance that your fianc will somehow
come to know about the past that you have hidden from him.
If this happens not only will the shock be greater, but there is a
good chance that his trust in you will also be totally destroyed.
It will be even worse if he comes to know after you both have
children.
It would therefore be better if you tell him the truth
yourself before you got married. Yes, he will be shocked and if
he is conservative and rather immature, yes, he may decide
not to marry you. But telling him will be the decent and right
thing for you to do, and if he really loves and understands
you, he will not blame you for the mistakes your parents
made.
Two months ago, I got engaged to a man I have known for
many years. He is the son of friends of my parents and since he
is 10 years older than I am, he wasnt a friend I grew up with,
Womans Era July (First) 2017
but he was always there as an older and admired son of family
friends. He is a very intelligent person who is doing very well in
the field of aerodynamics and everyone who knows him says
that he is certain to go places.
I have always been overawed by this man and so when my
parents told me two months ago that they and their friends
had decided long ago that this man and I would marry and
that it was time we got engaged, I did not object. In fact, I
was quite thrilled.
We were engaged and my fianc and I began to meet quite
often. Initially, I was very excited every time I went to meet
him, but I soon realised that I had little in common with this
man. I was a very ordinary person compared to him and we
had no common interests.
But when I finally got up the courage to tell my fianc this,
he first looked surprised and then said that that would be no
problem because he would soon mould me to be the person
he wanted me to be.
I found this remark quite insulting and when I told my
college friends about this comment, they too agreed with me.
They then advised me to think twice before going through
with this marriage.
There is another complication. One of the boys in my
group proposed to me the very day I told my friends
QA
about my fianc. He did so right in front of the rest
&
My family,
My friends and me...
of my gang! All my friends
then shouted in excitement and told
me to accept the proposal. I told them that I
need time to think things over and also to break up
with my fiance but I must admit that I like this boy who
proposed very much.
What should I do?
You have not mentioned how old you are, but from the
way you and your friends behave, you appear to be an
undergraduate and rather immature. Your fianc is obviously
very mature and you are absolutely right when you began to
feel that you have very little in common with him and the
main reason for that is the age difference between you.
So, tell your parents that you do not want to even think of
marriage as yet. Make it clear to them that this does not mean
that you want a long engagement period it means that you
want to call off the marriage altogether because of the
10-year gap between you and the man your parents want you
to marry.
Then tell your young friend who proposed to you that both
of you are too young to think of marriage and that you both
need to concentrate on your studies and on enjoying your
college days.
119
 TREAT YOUR
CHILDREN RIGHT
And get wrong notions out of their minds. By Nisha Dey

It is disappointing to see how children these days easily quit and give up on their lives. Not
that its a new topic of concern, its just that the rate of such incidents are rising day by
day. The generation gap can obviously never be filled, true. But can we not just try helping
our children not to be too quick in deciding to give up? Yes, something can always be done!
Your children are your treasures and nothing else is more important than their lives, to
you. Lets not think of WHY they do so or what makes them cruel and murderers of their
own lives, but focus on HOW as parents, we can help them come out of the negative
thoughts that make them opt for suicide as the best way to run away from situations.

Healthy communication: Parents
and children must be engaged in
healthy and direct communications
with each other. Make that
connection to create a bonding where
your children never hesitate to share
their feelings, anxiety, anger, guilt,
little or major incidents in their daily
lives. Make them comfortable; tell
them you are always present for
them. Sometimes a talk helps them to
relax. Be a good listener to them, a
friendly conversation will allow them
to blabber their fears, emotions,
confessions etc, and their hearts will
be at peace then. Try to know through
chats if everythings all right in their
lives they can have a bad day, they
can be scared, they can be insecure,
they can be happy, they can be over-
thinking!
Listen to understand: Listen to
them with patience. Allow them to
finish what they have to say to you. If
there is something thats against their
choice, try to know the reasons
behind it. Dont question them
directly or point out their faults.
Listen to them not as parents but as
friends or maybe just as a stranger.
Put yourself in their place and imagine
what they are going through. Assure
them that you are listening and giving
your best to understand them. The
more you understand, the more your
children feel free to breathe. Dont
judge them. If you do so only because
you have all the rights, then they
might just end up stepping on a
wrong stone!

Guide: Guide them in a way that

they dont feel you are judging them.
They are never looking for advice, all
they want is someone to tell them
what they are doing is absolutely not
wrong. Maybe as parents, you feel
your children are making the wrong
decisions in their lives. But is that
going to help your children grow in
their lives either? Why not simply
agree to what they feel is normal to
feel and guide them to make things
better in whichever way they feel like
doing so? Make them trust you, that
whenever they will be falling down,
you as parents will be there to hold
them back with all care.
Dont impose your decisions: As
parents, you may want to see your
child as a doctor or an engineer. But
what if they only want to own a
business or simply do some social
activities or may be just nothing for a
while. Let them decide what they
want to do in their lives. At least they
will not be choosing death as the only
option to live according to their rules.
You cant give them the wrong ideas
that you have all the rights to rule
their lives because you have given
birth to them. No! You gave them and
they are very grateful but then its
their lives. Let your children deal,
explore, fail or fall. Their decisions
will be a different experience to
them.
Keep an eye: Yes, keep your eyes
open to secure them at the right
time when they are into bad
influences. Dont spy or end up
being a detective. Only keep an eye
on your childrens activities and
actions. Watch what they speak
are they being too negative? Do they
sound low or different these days?
Are they spending too much time
being alone, have a loss of appetite,
are not taking care of themselves,
dressing up too normal than the other
days? Yes, something really needs
your attention then! Observe them,
study them because no child should
be left unattended, so that they dont
get into any danger or get hurt
emotionally in extreme.
Give a chances: It is not about
letting them repeat the same
mistakes but, more than that, it is
about making them realise how they
cannot afford repeating the wrong
steps, as they might end up hurting
themselves. Give them chances to
repair the faults! Give them chances
to make wise decisions. There may be
a hundred things they want to do in
life, allow them and support them to
take the chances. At least they would
know which ones were the wrong
dreams and which ones are amazing.
Give them the freedom to explore and leave an impression on society or just
learn, and not stress too much on to make their parents proud. Teach
what as parents you want your them failures are part of life.
children to perform. If needed, set Struggling is part of life. Peer pressure
limits and flexible boundaries. can or may get them and you the
happiness but what about peace? The
Share experiences: Be a story teller, pressure can only get your children
exactly the way you did once your look for options that allow them
children were little and you had to temporary escape. Free them! Its an
make them eat, sleep or be indirect continuous mental
entertained. Now they have grown up harassment you are doing to your
a little but they still love to listen to children. Be parents and not criminals.
stories; only the characters and Dont help them to kill themselves,
nature of the stories will be different help them to live for others. We
now. Tell them of how youve dealt
with problems in your life, what
struggles you had to go through, how
youve had failure. Stories only to
Dear parents,
You can stop expecting too much
from your children. Success is not life.
Your children may be already dealing
with a lot of problems every day. When
you are too busy planning for their
careers, investing money on your
dreams that must be fulfilled by your
children, your children at the same
time, are probably looking for
other ways to go.
begin with success
stories. The more
you share, the more
they will be feeling
easy to share too.
And when they give
their opinions as
individuals, you may
realise they are not
just like you and
that can be a good
thing.
Minus the PP
(peer pressure) : Try
not to focus only on
their studies,
grades, exams,
future goals and
image. Dont teach
them to stand and
grow in life just to
Womans Era July (First) 2017 121
I am two months pregnant. Please tell me what are the danger
signals I have to look out for?
You will have to visit your obstetrician regularly for
antenatal check-ups. Besides this you should come to the
hospital if you have
Bleeding
Pain in abdomen
Excessive vomiting
Swelling
Vaginal discharge
Falls
Urinary tract infection
Severe headache and visual disturbances
Baby is not moving
Watery fluid comes out of the vagina
When you are in labour
Can we have sex during pregnancy?
Having sexual intercourse during pregnancy does not harm
the foetus. You can continue to have intercourse right up to
the onset of labour. As your abdomen enlarges, you may
find intercourse more comfortable in positions that put less
pressure on your abdomen like side by side or you on top.
If you have complication like history of previous abortion,
pain, bleeding or discharge during this pregnancy you doctor
will advise abstinence. If you have a
tendency towards preterm labour as
diagnosed by a history of the same in
previous pregnancies or by an
ultrasound and/or internal exami-
nation in this pregnancy, your doctor
may recommend avoiding intercourse
and nipple stimulation. These
activities may cause contractions of the uterus and preterm
labour.
I am in the ninth month of my first pregnancy. My problem is
that both my nipples are retracted. This will cause difficulty in
breastfeeding my baby. Is there any way by which I can
improve the situation before delivery?
You could begin by catching the nipple between your
thumb and forefinger and rolling it gently forwards. Repeat
this exercise daily. Alternatively there is a small plastic cup
available that has to be put between the nipple and the bra
with the mouth of the cup on the nipple.
The negative pressure so created helps draw the nipple
out in some cases. If this too fails, a nipple shield can be used
to breastfeed your child. You will be taught how to sterilise
and use it after delivery.
Could you please tell me what happens during vaginal birth?
Labour contractions increase in intensity and duration over
a period of hours and slowly open the cervix. When the cervix
is completely open, contractions help push the baby through
the birth canal (vagina).
Usually, the babys head comes out first, then the
shoulders, followed by the rest of the body. You will be shifted
to the labour room when the uterus is completely open (along
122 Womans Era July (First) 2017
with your birthing partner to offer support). Some women
(about 10-15 per cent) need help getting the baby through
the birth canal. A doctor may apply a special vacuum cup or
forceps to the babys head to help the mother push the baby
out.
Many women get small tears around the vaginal opening.
Sometimes, the doctor will cut some tissue to make the
opening bigger (episiotomy) which requires stitches. The
stitches will dissolve during healing. The area will be sore for a
few days.
Normally, the uterus expels the placenta soon after birth.
In about 1 per cent of births, this doesnt happen. The doctor
must reach into the uterus and remove the placenta for which
you may need anaesthesia.
All women lose some blood during childbirth. A woman is
more likely to lose a lot of blood if the labour is prolonged, the
size of the baby is big, when instrumental (vacuum, forceps)
delivery was required, after twin delivery or when the placenta
doesnt pass out on its own. In very few women (less than 1 per
cent) a blood transfusion may be required after vaginal birth if
the bleeding was excessive.
Can I have an X-ray done during pregnancy?
QA
Though X-rays are best avoided during
pregnancy, a lot depends upon why
&
I am
Pregnant
it is needed and how beneficial it is to
you at this point of time.
The further the area to be X-rayed is from your baby the
less likely is it to cause harm. In any case the abdomen is
protected by a lead shield to avoid exposure of the baby to the
rays.
I am in the 8th month of my pregnancy. My doctor has asked
me to perform Kegels exercises. How are they done and what
is the use?
Kegels exercises make the pelvic floor more elastic and
strong so that the child can pass through it comfortably. This
is that part of the body that holds the pelvic organs in place
and is perforated by the urinary, vaginal and anal orifices. It is
made of muscle and fibrous tissue,
Lie on your back with knees bent and feet flat on the floor.
Squeeze the two buttock muscles together. While doing this
press the thighs firmly together and pull up as though
preventing the passage of stool and urine. Count slowly from
one to 10. Relax to the same number of counts. Do this 10
time each three times a day.
You can do this exercise daily, even in the standing
position, while cooking, washing, standing in queues, etc.
Dr Amrinder Kaur Bajaj, MD.
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Amidst the immensely busy and, invariably, tension-ridden life of
today people are finding a ready outlet to all their worries and stress
on, World Laughter Day. By Vijai Pant
A
popular dialogue of Ajay
Devgun in the action comedy
movie Son of Sardar went like
this, Oye paaji, kadi hans bhi liya karo
(sometimes do laugh). but, in real life,
more and more people are
acknowledging the importance of
laughter as an instant mood elevator.
Mental fatigue and physical
tiredness are the natural concomitants
of a stressful life. Consequently, after
coming back from an exhausting days
work, we tend to unwind by sharing
some light moments with the others in
the family, especially at the dinner
table. Bursting into peals of laughter at
the slightest opportunity immediately
perks up our jaded selves.
The surfeit of comedy shows being
aired on TV these days is enough
evidence to prove that laughter is
working its magic all around. The
maddeningly busy life has made people
turn to hilarious movies, stand-up
comedies and even live shows of comic
artistes. In this way they laugh away
124
their own blues. However, tickling the
funny bone is not an easy job.
Vinod Dubey, a well-known comic
artiste shares, Easy though it may
seem, making others laugh is a very
serious business. Lots of research
work is done prior to the actual
performance. One has to pick subjects
which would appeal to all without
A PERSON GIVEN TO EASY
LAUGHS ALWAYS HAS A
PLEASANT DEMEANOUR.
SUBTLE HUMOUR, WHICH
WORKS UP YOUR BRAIN,
IS GOOD BUT THE POINT
IS YOUR SMILE MUST
BURST OUT IN THE FORM
OF A LAUGH. BUT THE
GOLDEN RULE IS TO
LAUGH WITH OTHERS,
NOT LAUGH AT OTHERS.
Womans Era July (First) 2017
offending anybodys sensibilities.
Besides, you have to be in sync with
the changing times as topics which
were taboo yesterday may now be
permissible. Moreover, while
performing live the target audience
has to be kept in mind. Sexually-laced
puns must be avoided. There is not
much of a creativity involved in this.
The cheap stuff also does not speak
very highly of your own talent. Also,
one must not get carried away,
otherwise there is the fear of landing
oneself in controversy. What is worse,
sometimes, despite our best efforts,
we are unable to elicit the expected
response from the crowd, which
affects our confidence.
There are laughter clubs
functioning not just in the
metropolitan cities but also in small
townships. Dr Ashok Chauhan,
member of a Laughter Club avers,
Laughter therapy for the,
convalescing patients is getting a lot of
attention in corporate hospitals.
Besides the obvious advantage of
reducing tension, our cardiovascular
and respiratory systems also get
rejuvenated. Some people argue that
fake laughter cannot benefit in the
same way as authentic laughter. But I

A better world
tell them that the body cannot
distinguish between the two, and
hence the benefits are exactly the
same.

One should have an appetite for
life. There might be professions where
particular behavioural codes are to be
followed. But this in no way implies
that, for once, you cannot let your hair
down and just be yourself and enjoy
the light moments which life offers,
opines Madhu Suyal, doing Social and
Behavioural Sciences.
A person given to easy laughs
always has a pleasant demeanour.
Subtle humour, which works up your
brain, is good but the point is your
smile must burst out in the form of a
laugh. But the golden rule is to laugh
with others, not laugh at others.
Sarcasm and hitting below the belt is
always unwelcome, warns Jayant
Pande, who organises personality
development classes.
Neeraj Kumar thinks that one
particular day being earmarked for
laughter indicates that we overlook its
importance in our day-to-day lives.
There are people who look forward to
weekend getaways and even slightly
long exotic holidays to unwind and get
recharged. But the very same people
are indifferent to the healthy doses of
guffaws all around them. Perhaps, they
dont know that sharing a laugh is the
easiet and cheapest method to
rejuvenate your sagging spirit and
creaking body, he says.
The Irish proverb, A good laugh
and a long sleep are the best cures in
the doctors book has a lot of merit in
it. You are lucky if you find yourself,
every now and then, in the midst of a
humour hurricane. Do not hold
yourself back at such times, but let
laughter work the magic for you.
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good
while youre in it, but the longer you
stay in, the more wrinkled you get.
to stay
The bright suns rays kissing the Earth,
Spreading sparkle in every direction,
But,
Something is void somewhere inside,
Something is missing on the horizon.
Wandering through the backwoods,
My feet halt with insouciant laughter,
A sound like free spirit of untamed horses.
I glimpsed a building painted red,
And watched star shells hover and spread.
Some flat faces with small noses,
Some broad hands with short fingers,
That sweet smile, that innocent laugh,
Like the beauty of the moon in half !
A longing in eyes to run and play,
Many questions with no answers.
A child stood at the gate,
Kept looking at me
With a slight curve of lips and shining eyes,
Innocence,
That turned a mirror into window,
And my world...
In a different direction,
As if time stopped,
And soul felt its existence.
That obscure sudden connection,
We Evolved into moments of togetherness,
where,
I see their wings grow larger every day,
And wish for,
A better world in which to stay.
Shalini Bhardwaj.

Womans Era July (First) 2017 125


Akita
Hiroshima
Kitakyushu
Kode
Kyoto
Shikoku Osaka
JAPAN TOKYO
Nagoya
Yokohama
Fukuoka
Kyushu
O
saka was not in my original
tour programme. But later on I
decided to spend a couple of
days before going up north. That
would also reduce my travel for that
day. The two days spent in Osaka
were worthwhile, though the wet
weather acted as a spoil sport. It was
about three in the afternoon as I
arrived at Osaka station, by changing
trains from Nagasaki. The station is
big and quite complex with many lines
and floors. A woman, speaking
English, helped me to get a taxi to my
2 Womans Era May (First) 2017
Sapporo
Sandai
Osaka,
Japan
Worth a days visit.
By D.B.N. Murthy
hotel. The driver knew the location of
the hotel. Check-in took a few
minutes before arriving at my room,
which though small, was quite
comfortable. After resting a while, I
went downstairs to the coffee shop
for a cup of coffee. From a nearby
shop, I bought a few snacks, yoghurt
and drinks for the night.
I was ready the next morning after
a good night rest. Breakfast at the
coffee shop was good. A glance
outside was disappointing. It was
raining and it looked quite bleak and
so I had to put a hold on my plan to
see a few places that morning. Later
on I went upstairs to the lobby to sit
and watch the rain-drenched scene.
Vehicles were plying as usual and
people with rain-ware and umbrella
were carrying on their business as
usual. But the rainy weather was a
dampener as far as I was concerned.
Fortunately, later on, it cleared
somewhat. That gave me a chance to
walk quickly to the underground
metro station, Nagahori bashi, nearby
where I bought a day pass. Osaka is
the third largest populated city in
Japan. It has got nine subway lines
and a few private railway lines too.
My destination was the Shitennoji
Temple near a subway station which I
reached. Before going to the temple I
had a drink at a tiny restaurant with
just four tables but the owner was
friendly and spoke English. It was still
drizzling as I asked directions to the
2
temple. The owner gave me directions
and insisted that I take his umbrella. A
short walk brought me to a shrine in
which the large idol of Buddha was
installed. There was no one but the
priest who welcomed me with a smile.
I sat down for a few minutes on the
floor when I was offered a chair by a
woman attendant who had just then
entered. No photos were allowed
inside so I settled for some outdoor
shots of the shrine. On return I
noticed a big cemetery with many
varieties of tombstones. I returned
the umbrella to the restaurant owner
with thanks.
REACHING THE CASTLE
I had to change lines to reach the
site of the Osaka Castle with its fort
wall and moat. Just then it started
raining heavily and my plastic
rainproof was of no use. I was
drenched and decided to abandon any
further walk towards the castle in that
weather. On the way to the subway I
went inside a museum briefly
examining a few exhibits. I bought a
few groceries for the dinner before I
entered the warmth of my hotel
room. After an early morning
breakfast I checked out keeping my
luggage in the lobby. I bought the day
pass of the metro so that I could do a
bit of sightseeing before I catch a
train to Tokyo on the way to Sendai,
my destination for the day.
at the castle. There was boating on
the river forming the moat. I roamed a
bit approaching the castle for better
photo ops. It was an ancient castle
but well maintained. Outside there
were a few shops selling snacks.
Osaka Castle is an impressive
structure, built in typical Japanese
style with curved roofs. It is a
landmark of Osaka beautifully lit at
night. The nearest subway station is
Tanimachi 4-Chrome and it is
approached through the Otemon
Gate.
It was built at the end of the 16th
century by Toyotomi Hideyosi, a war-
lord who bought the entire country
under his rule. There is a castle
museum with interesting objects. I
THERE IS A CASTLE walked along the river bank for about
half an hour admiring the cleanliness
MUSEUM WITH of the water and the lovely flowering
INTERESTING OBJECTS. trees all along the river over which
I WALKED ALONG THE was spanned by a few attractive
bridges. It was time for me to return
RIVER BANK FOR ABOUT to the hotel to collect my baggage
HALF AN HOUR and take another metro that took me
directly to the Shin Osaka railway
ADMIRING THE station where I caught a Kodama train
CLEANLINESS OF THE to Tokyo that stopped at all the
stations.
WATER AND THE LOVELY
FLOWERING TREES ALL Tips
ALONG THE RIVER OVER Osaka is well worth a days visit
with its attractions. Enchanting
WHICH WAS SPANNEDLY scenery of flowering cherry trees is
A FEW ATTRACTIVE during the Sakura festival season in
March-April. There are several
BRIDGES. budget and starred hotels to
It was easy locating the subway choose from. A variety of
and taking a metro train to reach near restaurants and cafes await the
the castle. The weather was connoisseur of food and drinks. It is
fortunately good with sunshine. I was easily reached by a variety of trains
fascinated by the number of fully from Tokyo. Subway trains provide
blossomed cherry trees along the good connectivity. One can buy a
banks of the river. A number of day metro pass for flexibility and
visitors, mostly Japanese, had arrived cost-effectiveness. We
Womans Era July (First) 2017 127
Sthoorryt
S
Savithri,
The Invincible
Her efficiency overcame all obstacles. By Raa Iramamurthy
T
he newly posted
assistant collector,
Sunanda Patnaik was
Savithri kept the astonished to see that none
storeroom spick of the 25 sections had
and span, consented to the posting of
Savithri to their sections.
arranging all the They had all remarked in the
materials in note that she was not
proper order. She required. What kind of
also came out office is this? Could you give
me one good reason for this
with a list of strange behaviour by the
shortages in the sections? roared the AC to
stock, creating a her PA.
Madam, it is a long
new headache for
the section chief.
story, replied the PA
hesitantly.
Well, I want to hear the
The AC turned out
whole thing. Make it short
to be a strict and to the point, snapped
officer and called the AC.
for explanations Madam, your
from the section
head.
predecessor was not a very
popular officer, what with
her hunting for the corrupt
people in the office and
issuing memos to so many
people.
Well, that was the right
thing to do. But what has
that got to do with
Savithri?
Madam, it was Savithris
duty to issue the memos as
the clerk in the vigilance
section, and thats why she
is not wanted by any
section. The staff suspects
that she was behind the
action of your predecessor.
Well, is there a section,
under my direct control,
So,
Savithri, in her
fresh posting had to
toil all the time among
the dusty materials. She
took it all in her stride
and carried on
nonchalantly.
that I can post her to,
without soliciting its head?
Madam, the emergency
relief section is directly
under you.
Oh, that godown-like
section, where piles of
unsorted relief materials like
clothes, shoes and blankets,
have all been piled up? Well,
I am posting Savithri to the
ER section.
The AC tossed the file
back to her PA with the
posting order of Savithri.
T he ER section head was
not at all happy to take
Savithri into his section and
frowned at the PA, not
daring to talk to the AC The
PA tried to pacify him,
Take it easy. The AC was
remarking that all the relief
materials like clothes are
just piled up, without being
sorted out. You make her
toil. Get these dusty
clothes sorted
out. Get her
to prepare a category-wise
list of all the materials. That
is how we can take revenge
on her.
So, Savithri, in her fresh
posting had to toil all the
time among the dusty
materials. She took it all in
her stride and carried on
nonchalantly.
The staff that had a
grudge against her was
furiously planning to put her
in trouble, but could not do
anything so far.
S avithri kept the
storeroom spick and
span, arranging all the
materials in proper order.
She also came out with a list
of shortages in the stock,
creating a new headache for
the section chief. The AC
turned out to be a strict
officer and called for
explanations from the
section head. This added
further fuel to the grudge of
the staff against Savithri.
Savithri had noticed that
in the record room rat
poison was placed to
prevent the rats from
damaging the records. She
thoughtfully placed rat
poison in the storeroom
also. In a silly act of revenge,
when someone introduced a
rat in the storeroom, so that
Savithri would get a bad
name, the plot fizzled out,
much to the disappointment
of the staff!
It was monsoon time
now and rains were causing
havoc in the district.
On one such rainy day,
the collector received a
frantic message from the
minister to arrange
immediate relief to the
marooned villagers in a
remote forest area, where
there was a cloudburst,
resulting in flash floods in a
wild river. Further, the only
causeway in the areas had
been submerged and the
low-lying village had been
cut off from any kind of
contact.
The collector
immediately ordered the AC
to proceed to the area with
relief materials and money.
The AC sprang into
action, but the dealing
assistant concerned was
away on leave and so it fell
to the lot of Savithri to
organise the matters while
the money end was handled
by the AC herself. When the
party reached the forest
area, they found sheets of
water everywhere. The
driver of the jeep told them
that he couldnt drive the
vehicle any further.
AC Sunanda Patnaik was
not one to give up. In her
native Odisha these kinds of
floods were a perennial affair.
She said she would ask
the fisheries department to
rush in with a couple of
boats, but that would take
time and in the meanwhile,
the party had to wait there.
A t this juncture, a local
press correspondent
came and enquired about
the relief measures being
taken to help the marooned
villagers, to which the AC
replied that they were
waiting for a boat to
proceed to the area.
He promptly dispatched
a message to his paper that
the relief party is stuck
waiting for a boat and hence
the marooned villagers were
continuing to suffer.
The resourceful Savithri,
now with the ACs party in
the meanwhile had made
her own enquiries and
brought a burly man to the
AC.
Madam, this man says
there is a circuitous
mountain route to reach the
village, but no jeep or
Womans Era July (First) 2017
motorcycle can negotiate
it.
The AC took a suspicious
look at the man.
How long will it take us
to reach the village by this
mountain route?
About four to five hours,
madam, was the reply.
Madam, may I suggest a
plan? intervened Savithri,
much to the annoyance of
the section chief who was
also in the party now.
Yes, Savithri, you have
any suggestions? replied
the AC.
On one such rainy
day, the collector
received a frantic
message from the
minister to arrange
immediate relief to
the marooned
villagers in a remote
forest area, where
there was a
cloudburst, resulting
in flash floods in a
wild river.
Madam, the head clerk
sir and myself will proceed
to the marooned area, by
the mountain route, with
the relief materials and
eatables. As soon as the
boat comes you can come
by the water route. If we
arrive earlier, we will start
the paperwork.
The AC was impressed.
She turned to the head clerk
now. What do you think
about the plan of Savithri?
Will this not be a great strain
and a risky one?
Yes, madam. I do not
think we should go out of
the way for government
work. We are not on an
adventure trip.
The AC had been
obviously pleased by the
sincerity of Savithri. But,
my dear man, this is an
emergency. Dont you think
we should explore other
methods for the sake of the
poor marooned people? If a
lady is prepared to walk the
distance in the interest of
work, cant you do the
same? I think you are quite
healthy and strong. I would
definitely join you, but I
have to think about the cash
I am carrying and hence
cannot accompany you.
The head clerk was very
embarrassed.
Well, madam, if you
order us to proceed by the
mountain path, we shall
definitely do so.
I will give no such
order, said the AC.
At this stage, the driver
came forward.
Madam, you are going
to the area by boat. So, you
dont need a drivers service
any more. I will accompany
Savithri by the mountain
path and be ready to receive
you there when you come.
Thank you, good man!
The matter is settled. But
how will you carry the relief
materials? queried the AC.
Mules are available and
we shall transport the
materials with their help,
replied Savithri eagerly, and
further added, Madam, I
will require some money to
buy puffed rice, jaggery,
bread and biscuits as the
marooned people will be
starving all this time.
Very thoughtful of you,
Savithri! I did want to buy
them before proceeding by
jeep from here. But that is
not going to be possible
now, as we shall be going by
boat, they may all get
drenched. Take this money
and go ahead. Also, take my
camera for safe keeping,
replied the AC.
The head clerks face
129
reddened at these develop-
ments, but he could hardly
say anything.
In a weak voice, he said,
Savithri, keep proper
vouchers for the purchases. driver who enjoyed the task
It took a good six hours
time to reach the spot.
The poor villagers were
all huddled on a perched
place near the village
school. Many people were
missing, probably washed
floods. The AC.s party arrived much
away by the floods.
The AC.s party arrived
much later by boat.
Savithri had already
started the paperwork, but
no one could produce the ID
cards or ration cards in
support of their identity.
The AC started work briskly
enough.
Madam, none of these
people have any ID papers
as they had run away from
their huts when the floods
came. I would suggest that
we take a photo of each
recipient. I have prepared a
placard for each person,
showing their names and
other details. This is the best
we can do under these
130
circumstances, said
Savithri.
The AC readily agreed
with Savithri and handed
over the camera to the
given very much.
The
poor villagers were
all huddled on a perched
place near the village school.
Many people were missing,
probably washed away by the
later by boat.
Savithri had already started the
paperwork, but no one could
produce the ID cards or ration
cards in support of their
identity.
The head clerks face
again glowered. He
thundered, Savithri, get
the countersignature of the
village pradhan against each
entry. That is the proper
procedure.
The AC snapped, There
is no harm in any extra
precaution, in the existing
circumstances, and
directed the driver to take
snaps of the recipients in
addition to the
countersignature.
Actually, the head clerk
had a plan to allege that
Savithri had arranged to
Womans Era July (First) 2017
give money and materials to
Taj
fictitious persons, with the
connivance of the village
pradhan. But this was not
possible now. The village
pradhan was a ruling party
man and when he found
that, for the first time, help
I came to
was being given without the
usual cutting by the
government party he gave a
you!
glowing report to the
minister.
The minister called the
collector and thanked him
for the prompt service
rendered and specifically Taj, I came to you
mentioned the To bury a few memories
name of Waded deep inside
Savithri for my heart.
her very When my love will come to
witness your beauty
Ask him why did he drift
apart.
Taj, I came to you
To experience the love
so divine,
Tell him his beauty has built
her soul into mine.
Taj, I came to you
To relive those memories
Which were once a reason
for a smile.
Broken into pieces is my
sincere and heart so fragile.
honest work.
The collector ordered Taj, I came to you
the grant of two additional For you to stand tall
increments to Savithri, with pride
much to the chagrin of the My love is also my pride
staff. So connected with you
Last heard, Savithri and and him
the equally service-minded I stood by your side.
jeep driver had fallen in love Yashawri Bakshi.
with each other. Both their
parents consenting, their
marriage was solemnised in
a simple ceremony at a
temple. The staff is now
facing a formidable couple
to plot against. We
Great minds discuss
ideas. Average minds
discuss events. Small
minds discuss people.
For go d
Measure
Making the rough
smooth.
By Mala Ashok

T
he way we cook has evolved the tactic of saying Recipe for pasta
over the years. It used to be using basil, nuts, and spinach. Or, I 1 medium apple 1 cup
1 mashed banana 1/
that family recipes would be will ask for a recipe for sabzi using 3 cup
passed on from grandmother to bhindi and onions mainly. 1 slice bread 1/ cup
4
mother to daughters who in turn The first will generate scores of crumbs
cherished them and passed them Pesto Pastas and the second will spit 1 chocolate square 1 ounce
along. At first these were just out (Oops! That was a wrong choice 14 graham cracker 1 cup
instructions with a lot of observation. of words!) several bhindi do pyaaza squares
Then people started keeping notes recipes and also the odd bhindi 1 medium lemon 3 tblsp juice
with profuse instructions. masalas or bhindi sabzi. I find this 1 medium onion 1/
2 cup
These were the precursors to method handy since Im a vegetarian 1 cup rice 3 cups
professional cookbooks and recipes in and usually start my requests with cooked
magazines. These are still hanging in vegetarian recipe using) and 1 lb brown sugar 2/ cups
12
there and holding onto their real Bingo! lunch is planned. 22 vanilla wafers 1 cup crumbs
estate. I do have a pet peeve with all the
How much longer they will survive above methods of following recipes
is a matter of debate. I for one was a and that is the non-standard weights
staunch follower of recipes from my A pinch 1/ and measures used. This is particularly
8 tsp or less
favourite WE and still do so. But I 3 tsps 1 tbsp an issue if you are using American
must confess most of my cooking is 4tbsps 1/ recipes since cooks there use pinches,
4 cup
IPad- generated. While I havent 8 tbsps 1/ cup teaspoons, tablespoons cups, quarts,
2
accosted Siri and said to her, Help, 2 cups 1 pint pecks! Im giving below a chart for
Siri! What can I cook in 15 minutes? 4 cups 1 quart good measure. After mastering it or
Im almost there. 4 quarts 1 gallon having it handy at all times, its bon
When I first started using my iPad I 8 quarts 1 peck appetit time! We
would search for recipes and then 4 pecks 1 bushel
gather the long list of ingredients and 32 ounces quart
Every time that you hurt me, every
despair when one or two key items 1 oz liquid 2 tblsps
time I felt pain, every lie that you
were not in my pantry or fridge. Not 8 oz liquid 1 cup
told me made me who Im today.
so anymore. I have now graduated to

Womans Era July (First) 2017 131

Sthoorryt
S
Voting Fiasco Not worth the effort. By Priyanka Chauhan

I
decided to enrol my four-
month-old son for the
Cute Baby Contest
scheduled for this month.
Initial feelings with which
Almost half the I filled the registration form
First, instructions were
not clear on the website
about the procedure, contest
and the voting link.
Somehow, I filled in the
details. Then, there was no
The deciding factor for
winning the competition was
to be voting.
I mean, seriously!
Voting, I told myself.

day was over, on the parenting website
chasing the were of pride, elation,
mission, I glanced excitement, competitive
fever, social approval and
at my baby who recording a milestone for the
was being nursed future.
by my mother. As This was to be the first
form I ever filled for my child.
I gulped down my Sure, it was mandatory for
food, a little plug- the competition! My eyes
in point came to started twinkling thinking of
the trophy. I would flaunt it
my notice.
in front of my family and
friends after winning, I
thought as I keyed in the
details.
confirmation of the
submitted form.
Neither was there a
Contact Us tab on the
website. I kept wondering
whether my son was
registered for the contest or
not for the next two days.
Finally, a notification did
appear from the organisers
saying that my baby is ready
to cut the chase.
Who will be the cutest
baby for the period of August
31 to September 02? it read.
I reenergised myself as if
saying with a whistle on your
marks, get set and go to my
little one.
H
ow can voting, that too,
by Facebook friends
decide the cute quotient of
my baby? Nonetheless, in
order to realise my dream
(which I had seen in wide-
eyes innocence during the
form submission), I logged
in.
I was online almost after a
year of dormancy to garner
support from my social
buddies.
I posted a vote
declamation on my FB wall
to people whose updates
I never really liked or read.
The absurdity of the whole
process made me feel selfish.

I decided to
enrol my four-
month-old son for the
Cute Baby Contest
scheduled for this
month.
Nevertheless, I kept begging
for votes from people with
whom I have had zero
interaction in the last year.
A s if begging and
pleading was not
enough, I started explaining
the process to my potential
voters: how to follow the
voting link and cast their
vote, troubleshoot and guide
them through technical
errors, re-confirming from
those who assured they had,
reminding those who hadnt,
and fuming over those who
were as reactive as a log of
wood.
Almost half the day was
over, chasing the mission, I
glanced at my baby who was
being nursed by my mother.
As I gulped down my food, a
little plug-in point came to
my notice. It was given just
below the comment box on
the contest website and read
Share the link on
WhatsApp. I pressed and
what happened after that
can be described only with
one word Harakiri!
The same procedure of FB
got repeated on WhatsApp
with more questions and
even more troubleshooting
issues followed by
resolutions doled out by me.
My school mate Gunjan
who had rolled her month-
old daughter for the same
contest a month back replied
to my WhatsApp text saying,
It is the most worthless
contest. It discourages
parents and dusts off their
sentiments attached to the
baby. This was the only
thing left for me to hear,
I sulked.
My daughter received
The same procedure
of FB got repeated
on WhatsApp with
more questions and
even more
troubleshooting
issues followed by
resolutions doled
out by me.
600 likes on FB as I requested
all in our circles. However,
the one with 1000 likes was
declared the winner, she
voiced her angst.
I crashed, cringed and
crucified myself!
I was exasperated by the
evening and cursed myself
for having done something
as messy as this.
Besides, I overlooked
what my son would have felt,
had I sought his opinion
pertaining to this voting
fiasco. Asking the world to
vote on his cute face seemed
derogatory now. I felt guilty!
Had he been a grown-up
boy today, he would have
said, Mom, I do not wish to
be voted as the cutest baby
by the social media.
I have a vote which
matters the most yours. I
am the cutest baby for you,
by you, of you, ma.
A pop-up with a clinking
sound hits my mailbox
announcing, Your son,
Voting Report is only at 33.
Ask your friends and family
on Facebook to vote. We
Being happy doesnt mean
that everything is perfect.
It means that youve
decided to look beyond
the imperfections.
I
t is said that a poet is born and not made which means
a poet possesses a talent that cannot be taught.
However, our thoughts, ideas, feelings can change over
time. So, I dont think a poet is born. If we have an
obsession and strength of mind, we can be anything. A poet
and poetic thoughts are shaped by life experiences,
attitudes and every situation. Poetry is the secret of
happiness, I believe. Poetry lies within each and everyone
for some it is dormant and for someone it is active. Poems
are a way of expression, of what you experience or what
you imagine. Since it deals with experience and a thought
process, you don't have to be a born poet.
A poet is simply in touch with common humanity as well
as with firm thought which he or she experiences from the
ambiance around him or her. A poets interest towards the
changing face of language and his or her presentation is
more influential when it touches both mind and heart at
multiple levels. Both the pain and love, a poet or poetess
feels in a different light is the same pain and love that others
feel in the same situation. Just the trigger is different, the
atmosphere is different and the degree of pain and love is
different but the basic experience is the same.

IS A
POET REALLY
BORN? Or is the talent inborn? By Mithun Dey

To answer whether poets are born or created, I have

come across many poets who used to be a doctor or an
engineer but they were well known for their poetic genius.
Robert Burns was a farmer but he reached heights of
poetry and was famed as a Scottish poet. Interestingly,
those who disliked poetry most in early life, later became
poets and William James Dawson, an English poet, is one
of the finest examples of it.
Some became inspired to write poetry as it is said
poetry comes from inspiration. William Shakespeare was
also inspired from his most favourite authors Geoffrey
Chaucer, Plutarch and a Roman poet Ovid. It is said that
Ovid's Metamorphoses was a powerful source of
inspiration for William Shakespeare. Wilfred Owen became
interested in poetry after being inspired by John Keats and
Shelley. On the other hand, Robert Frost was inspired and
motivated by his wife Elinor Miriam
(White) Frost. She was the foremost
inspiration for his poetry. William
Wordsworth drew inspiration from
Dorothy Wordsworths journal. More,
Rabindranath Tagore drew
encouragement from the people and
life around him. Tagore received much
inspiration from the Upanishads. His
poetic works were influenced by the
devotional poets Ramprasad Sen and
Kabir. Later, he was influenced by the
Baul tradition.
I have presented in this piece views
from both sides from a number of
poets and scholars.
Poet and critic, Adil Jussawalla
said, Its experience that makes a
person a poet and that no one is born
a poet.
Sitakant Mahapatra, a noted Indian
poet and literary critic, explained that
poets are both born and made: they
are born with a special gift and by
their sensitivity and social culture they
become poets. The intensity of
absorbing experience is very essential
for true poets.
A MATTER OF DISCOVERY
On the other hand, Abhay Kumar,
an Indian poet, diplomat said, Poets
are not born as leaders or singers are
not born. I think it is just a matter of
discovery. As we grow up, we find
different ways to respond to our
surroundings, express ourselves.
Poetry is one of many ways to do so.
More, Prof. Makarand R.
Paranjape, an Indian poet said, Poets
are both born and made, but the
making part is, perhaps, more
important. Many, for instance, who
have a natural talent or inclination for
verse, dont make it because they
havent put in the kind of effort and
training required to master the
medium. On the other hand, by trying
and struggling, over and over again,
some, albeit a few, do become
authors of considerable renown.
This is not all. A most prominent
poet-critic, Dr. Harekrishna Deka said
that poetry takes birth in a poets
mind. Nobody is a born poet. A person
with fine sensibility, imagination and
desire to express his or her
feelings/emotional stimuli will try to
express it in a heightened form in the
language he or she cultivates that
gives experienced sensibility and the
medium of expression is language
mastered through practice in which
he or she endeavours to attain the
maximum suggestibility.
A poet and critic, Dr Zinia Mitra
quoted, as John Keats famously said,
if poetry comes not as naturally as
the leaves to a tree, it had better not
come at all. (Letter to John Taylor,
Hampstead, 27 February, 1818). Dr
Mitra also said that it is true that great
poets have a unique way of perceiving
and expressing things that all of us do
not share. We have the famous story
of Kalidasa, the great Sanskrit poet
who while all other poets described a
dry tree trunk as Sushkang
kashthang tishati agre cried out
Nirasa tarubara purata bhaage. This
A POET AND CRITIC, DR
ZINIA MITRA QUOTED,
AS JOHN KEATS
FAMOUSLY SAID,
IF POETRY COMES
NOT AS NATURALLY AS
THE LEAVES TO A TREE,
IT HAD BETTER NOT
COME AT ALL.
singular imagination of a dry tree
trunk as a dead tree is unique and
cannot be perceived by all. No doubt
the Romantics had given such an
importance to the power of
Imagination.
She also said that there is another
view, however, that cannot be
ignored, especially with the flood of
poetry on Facebook and on
e-magazines, with the self-publishing
houses promoting verses, arranging
symposiums, albeit for business
purposes. One can become a poet.
There are tools available on the
Internet to help one rhyme, maybe
also to help them with unique images,
help them juxtapose and use other
Womans Era July (First) 2017
tools to create poetry. There are
hordes of poetry available on-line
from where one could draw
inspiration as Shakespeare did from
Plutarch. Though most of what is read
is forgotten, sometimes these pieces
do become poetry. Yes they do. We
readers still sometimes achieve that
sense of heightened experience. So I
would like to say, it is not that a poet
is born or is made it is poetry that is
born, out of the ashes of a
smouldering life. And with the death
of the author, it is poetry that lives on.
THE KINETIC LANGUAGE
On the otherhand, Arundhathi
Subramaniam, a poet and writer,
explained I think an excitement
about kinetic language is something
every child is capable of. And kinetic
language, in essence, is poetry.
Everyone sings at least in the
bathroom! And likewise everyone has
written a poem at least by the age
of 16! Why? Because music and poetry
are ancient arts, that fulfil a very
primal human need for self-
expression. Does that mean everyone
is a poet? She answered that, yes. But
poetry, like music, and any other art,
takes work. It takes years of listening
and reading, years of painstaking
craftsmanship, rigour and immersion.
There is no short cut to that. So
everyone is a potential poet, I do
believe, but it takes hard work and
humility and rigour to become a full-
fledged poet.
She also said, It's unfortunate
that many young people write poetry,
but don't necessarily read poetry. I
think it's important to remember that
to be a poet you also need to cultivate
the art of listening -- the art of
listening acutely, sensitively,
attentively. That's in desperately
short supply in the world today.
Nandini Sahu, a poet, writer and
critic, told me that is a poet really
born? sounds interesting. Poets are
shaped by lifes experiences and wide
reading no doubt about it. I still
believe, poets are born, to be shaped
and nurtured.
Writer and poet Minakshi Thakur
said, I do think poets are born as
137
poets. Of course, they can evolve
over time and become poets of the
world. The environment,
circumstances shape them and hone
their skills.
A Somali American educator, poet
and writer, Sofia Samatar told me that
while people may be born with
different levels of sensitivity to
language, poets are not really formed
by this sensitivity, but by desire. To
me, the most important element for
becoming a poet or any kind of
writer is a will. A person may have
The craft of graft
It was August 2011. The septua -
genarian Anna was fasting for a
strong ombudsman in the form of Jan
Lokpal at the Ramlila Maidan in New
Delhi. The diminutive figure of Anna
thundering from the stage, the sea of
humanity, wearing Gandhi caps and
waving tricolours, respon ding with
matching enthusiasm were making
for riveting television coverage. The
surcharged atmos phere looked so
promising.
The movement had also caught
the fancy of the people of
Uttarakhand, with flash mobs
pouring out their ire against the all-
prevalent bribe culture. Some, like
the middle-aged Vimla, had got so
enamoured with the Jan Lokpal
movement that she had forced her
husband Pramod to take leave from
his office in Ramnagar to be a part of
history being made on ground zero
(Ramlila Maidan). Flush with
excitement after coming back from
the capital, Vimla could not help
gushing about the imminent welcome
changes in society, strongly feeling
that corruption, big or small, would
get banished in times to come.
Soon after their return the couple
138
talent, time, energy, connections
everything else that contributes to
being a poet but without the will,
nothing will happen.
In view of all these, lets finally
come to a conclusion on the issue.
In order to understand poetry, its
not mandatory to be a poet. You just
need to love poetry and engage with
poetrys dynamicsthe feelings and
emotions that are enmeshed with the
language which carries them. We find
poetry everywhere and it serves every
level of sensitivity and situation, both
had to attend a family function in
Nainital. En route, they stopped for tea
at Kaladhungi, on the foothills of
Nainital. The stall owner, another Anna
fan, declared, Main Anna hoon topis
are selling like hot cakes in the region,
sahib. It bears testimony to the
popularity of the anti-graft crusader.
As the vehicle started its painful
ascent from there, Pramod, at the
wheel, was exhorted by Vimla to press
on the accelerator. Remember, if we
reach the entry toll after 3 pm, we
would have to shell out ` 100, she
warned Pramod, reminding him that
the toll doubles from a modest `50 to a
pinching `100 for vehicles reaching the
hill station after 3 pm. Despite
Pramods best efforts, they reached
the toll post at Bara Pathar a shade
above 3, which, with a little flexibility
could have gone their way. However,
the person manning the toll refused to
budge and, justifiably, demanded `100.
As Pramod, unsuccessfully, tried to
reason with him, his wife rolled down
the window and thrust a crumpled `50
note into his hands, suggesting to him
that a receipt was not required.
Without changing his strict demeanour,
as if it was business as usual, he calmly
pocketed the amount and promptly slid
the barrier to one side.
An impressed Pramod looked
askance at Vimla, who flashed a
victorious smile at him, and the vehicle
sped forward.
Vijai Pant, Kashipur.
Swachh-minded train vendor
I was travelling in a train when a
Womans Era July (First) 2017
real and emotional. We can find
poetry in the musical structure of
language, lyrics to songs, ones love,
ones grief and pain. Poetry is the
image of nature. Poetry is thoughts,
poetry is feeling confessing itself and
poetry is affective. Every flow of the
ocean makes poetry. Poetry seeps
into the subconscious while
addressing the conscious. We
It is never too late to be what you
might have been.
passenger bought peaunts of (` 10)
worth and the boy gave him an
empty envelope with the peanuts.
The passenger asked him what to do
with this envelope? the boy replied,
After peeling the peanuts keep the
peel in this envelope. Dont through it
anywhere in the train. The
passenger asked Why do you say
so? The boy said, train is just like
my house, I get my bread and butter
from here, so it is my duty to keep it
clean.
I looked at him and thought the
lesson of cleanliness can be taught by
anyone and this is our duty, not
burden.
Tulsi Tankha, Ratlam.
Has something
happened in your life
that has left an indelible
impression on your mind? Some
experience that gladdens your heart
or which makes you shudder with
pain or embarrassment even after
years! Why not share it with the
readers of Womans Era? All
published incidents will be paid
Rs 200. Send your entries to:
THE INCIDENT I CANNOT FORGET
E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055.
Womansera.com
Name:
Mobile:
E-mail:
Watch out for them.
A
lmost every girl has been
chided at some point of time
in her life by her mother for
the short length of her frock or for
that revealing pattern of a dress. In all
likelihood, she cribbed but also
obliged because she had been told
that revealing too much skin invited
trouble. Not only this, she had also
been constantly warned against
strangers Stranger is danger!
But when this same girls fall prey
By Sudha Chandrasekaran
to appalling acts of rape, who is to be
blamed? Are we to blame these girls
for not treating the man they saw
walk behind them with a sense of
deep mistrust? Or for alighting from
the bus without suspecting that there
could be a rapist just waiting to
pounce on them? Would this entire
struggle become less daunting if we
could possibly tell a rapist by looking
at him, which indeed is difficult? Rape,
as per statistics, is one of the most
under-reported acts of monstrosity
across all nations. The very cruelty of
these acts leaves many trembling with
fear.
Who is a potential rapist? Is he an
anti-social element or is he a
psychopath? Is he always leching on
women in public? There is evidence
that these rapists may be mixing well
with their surroundings but, on the
other hand they may be extreme
individuals too. This unnerving detail
puts several men known to you under
the scanner. A majority of rapists have
anti-social and narcissistic personality
disorders. What we need to know is
that child molesters and rapists are
agitated minds turned mentally sick
patients. These traits of theirs are
formed mostly during their childhood
and adolescent days. Several allied
therapies medicine, behavioural
counselling, psychosocial support
need to co-ordinate their tasks to trap
those minds before they go out of
control."A rapist doesn't necessarily
have to be under the influence of
alcohol or drugs, but it is the mind
that is prone to such heinous acts," Dr
Sen adds.
Civilisation has made a headway
over the years from being a male-
controlled society to one of gender
equality. But this, unfortunately, has
not been recognised by a vast number
of men and they claim that it is their
birthright to trample on and suppress
women. They feel that damaging a
woman and scarring her identity for
life is the best way to teach her a
permanent lesson. A riotous mind is
one that has been hurt and will think
only in terms of hurting others. A
history of physical and mental
violence by caregivers in the earlier
years of ones life results in
suppressed anger and abhorrence
towards ones own family and makes
him feel that he is unworthy of love.
He starts to believe that the only way
to get love and affection is by force
alone. Since childhood such children
are attracted to watching the
opposite sex during acts of bathing
and dressing.
Most women who are raped are
subjected to this brutal act by some
known person a colleague, a date,
an old boyfriend with whom she had
fallen out, a close relative, etc.
According to FBI statistics, one out of
three women are likely to be raped
during their lifetime. It has been
estimated that 25 to 30 per cent alone
are raped by strangers and in the rest
of the cases the victims know their
rapist.
There is no definite way to know
whether a man will rape you, but you
need to be wary of certain danger
signals. Broadly speaking, a potential
rapist will exhibit the following signs:
Impulsivity and anger outbursts;
Verbal and physical violence without
provocation; Inappropriate touching
and fondling of younger siblings or
friends; teasing behaviour, especially
in school; threatening others with dire
consequences; suspicious and
paranoid behaviour; spending hours
in self-stimulatory activities like
masturbation; poor work ethics; Lying
and stealing are two of the major
undesirable attributes that would
have developed early in life which
later on would have led to anti-social
behaviour. Spining stories just for the
sake of projecting a good image of
himself in front of others. Socially
uncomfortable with the opposite sex
but after consuming addictive
substances shows aggression.
Immature thinking and
impressionable and hence gets
influenced easily by friends.
Communication style is imitative and
is into reverse thinking; Self-centred
to the point where he always puts his
needs and wants and feelings above
those of others and makes others feel
bad for not doing what he wants.
Belittles others. Will be a man who
will make your no to sex into a
yes whether you like it or not.
Exhibits sudden changes of mood.
Most people cannot suddenly go
from happy to angry but a man like
MOST WOMEN WHO ARE
RAPED ARE SUBJECTED
TO THIS BRUTAL ACT BY
SOME KNOWN PERSON
A COLLEAGUE, A DATE,
AN OLD BOYFRIEND WITH
WHOM SHE HAD FALLEN
OUT, A CLOSE RELATIVE,
ETC. ACCORDING TO FBI
STATISTICS, ONE OUT OF
THREE WOMEN ARE
LIKELY TO BE RAPED
DURING THEIR LIFETIME.
Womans Era July (First) 2017
this is capable of unlimited violence
and damage with a jock or gorilla
mentality this mentality promotes
both acceptance and encouragement
for the use of violence. It is especially
common among people who indulge
in contact sports. What is most
guileful about this type is that the
jock receives not only positive
encouragement and reinforcement,
but a big applause for aggressive and
violent behaviour. People with this
mentality fail to draw the line
between playing in the field and real
life.
JUST AN EXCUSE
Alcoholic drinks and drugs are not
the cause of bad behaviour but rather
they are used as an excuse! Often, the
attacker intentionally becomes
intoxicated to ignore the social
restrictions and inhibitions regarding
violence. This addiction can be traced
back to selfishness and a refusal to
change ones world view. Low self-
esteem is one of the main
contributing factors of victimisation.
Says Keller, Men who rape have
no experience of relationships based
on sharing, reciprocity, mutuality or
attentiveness to another persons
needs (Keller, 1989).
Not all rapists look besmirched and
lurk in dark corners of gullies. We
never can say for sure who is a rapist
and who is not, but do watch out for
men who consider women as sex
objects. Treat them with scant
respect, intrude into their personal
spaces and touch them in an
uncomfortable and inappropriate
way, especially when the touches are
unreciprocated. Added to these signs
women need to be wary of staring
behaviour from strangers; stalkers;
one who makes lewd comments on
their private parts; anyone who acts
over-friendly; a person who is trying
to get too familiar in a drunker state;
someone who sits too close, presses
your hand or shoulders and brushes
past you repeatedly saying sorry. Not
all men who display these
characteristics are rapists, but it is
important to take note of the
behaviours of the men around you.
141
WHAT IS A
DATE-RAPE DRUG?
Date-rape drugs are usually
administered through beverages.
The common date rape drugs are
rohypnol (roofies) and gamma
hydroxybutric acid (GHB). These
drugs are tasteless, odourless and
colourless and are soluble in any
drink and dissolve within a matter
of seconds and take effect within 10
minutes. To avoid these drugs,
avoid accepting drinks from not
very well- known people and do not
ever leave your beverage unattended.
Guard yourself in suspicious
situations: If your sense warns you of
a possible rape, get out of the scene
immediately. If you are being sexually
assaulted try to maintain a calm
composure as it is easy to think of a
possible way out of the situation.
Begging and crying does not help
much. Instead you should revolt and
fight back, try to exit from the scene
and scream for help. Saying that you
are a victim of a sexually transmitted
disease like herpes or HIV will put a
halt to the barbaric attack. Have
confidence in yourself and follow your
instincts and, last but not least, trust
your own feelings. Only you know if it
is best to fight back or act
submissively to avoid further injury.
Rapists are predators. By following
these steps, you can try to make your
world a little safer from those
predators.While there are others,
these behaviours are serious
indicators of a potential rapist or
abuser. All men are not rapists, but a
person displaying these
characteristics has a higher
probability when compared to
others. These traits are found in
professional criminals as well. The
quality of selfishness ranks high
amongst these individuals and what
matters is the degree, style and
their choice of victims.
Remember that although being
aware of your surroundings and
despite knowing the art of
defending, the fault is ultimately
that of the rapist and not of the
victim. Putting aside these points, a
long-term solution to this problem lies
in educating our future generations of
both sexes right from their formative
years about gender equality and
about respecting and helping others.
This is the best way to prevent a
potential rape. Being well informed
on this subject of rape can go a long
way in helping you avoid dangerous
situations. We
Never lose yourself while trying to
hold on to someone who doesnt
care about losing you.

Why take your life?

Humans mostly want to live as long as possible
But when from a history of misery and agony,
Despair and sorrow puncture a vulnerable heart
And depression and pain crush a cringing spirit
Then all the light gets snuffed out totally
and hopeless darkness suffocates, ultimately
then, some dont care about the soul
Or its existence, dreams or goal.
Life gets insufferable and unbearable
Each heartbeat a guilt, humiliation or a blame
And the masochistic thoughts sear like a flame
A premeditated plan or a moments madness
takes away the will to live even a breath I am weak and I cant survive any longer
And makes one embrace unredeemable death Because I dont have the will-power
Alas! Many commit suicide without a thought To continue struggling and fighting bravely.
For their loved ones. A life so precious gone in a second, Suicide in any form is to be condemned in life
A calamity too gruesome even to reckon Why glorify it as a heros sacrifice?
for their family. Maybe the cause cant be remedied The best is to take precautions and prevent it
but why surrender? For abject surrender it is! By helping those living on the edge of a precipice
The self-destructive cowardly act suggests, Rungeen Singh.

142 Womans Era July (First) 2017

 CLASSIFIEDS
WANTED BRIDE
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 a state of anxiety, anger, agony and cricketers are given less importance
irritation, there are equally several and do not get due recognition despite
other remedies and solutions to splendid performances and wins in
control as well as dispense with this International tournaments bringing
crucial and critical factor of irritability glory to the nation.
from across our social order. However, It is even more disturbing that as
such remedies and solutions are not talent gets a raw deal, individual
elusive given our present-day vast record-breaking performances go
networks of spiritual and medical unnoticed. In fact, the indifference,
systems of various kinds working out at lack of recognition, encouragement
various levels. and support to women cricketers
Bh. Indu Sekhar, Hyderabad. inspite of been playing since long only
D
life style, we
ue to a stressfulsome point or
problems,
cause heart
in the long

There are
attacks.
term, it can

various triggers
for
irritation to
NOT ANGER BUT goes to show that we do not give
RIGHTEOUS
at
all get angry perfectly from mild one
Anger is a anger ranging For instance,
the other. healthy
but violent outbursts. about an
normal sometimes and body psychologi
st talks
real problem
your mind child whose
emotion for and
linarian and
over-
becomes explosive aggressive
when anger it can affect
your lay in an over-discip man,
a 55-year-old always
more frequent critical mother, , who

necessary encouragement to women's

of A personality way, and a
health. the release with type
Anger stimulates and to go his
like cortisol in wanted things felt stress and
stress hormones an increase young man who witnessing
adrenaline,
causing and build up after
heart rate

INDIGNATION GIVE RECOGNITION TO

depression attacks.
blood pressure, also disturb the the 26/11 terror anger: Years of
It can and
breathing. system, sleep Woman and women
have taught
bodys immune anxiety, depression genetic training
While

r
digestion. are short-term to why

Manage you
and headaches remains as
Still the question snayasis and
are having in trap of theseexploit their

cricket as much as is given to men's

people fall

S
over India
anyasis all them to sexually

EDITORIAL
since noted better off
It all began was sent allow is somewhat terms of

ANGER
bad days. Bapu children. Kerala states in
godman Asaram girl. Since many other nt.
of raping a and than developme

WOMEN CRICKETERS
to jail on charges more snayasis literacy and
economic -women
many godmen and public. It
then so on various tribes of the
been booked murder, Still, and exploit
godmen have from rape, thrive there state to
the welfare to
charges rangingRecently, a so-calleda is the duty of necessities
etc.
beaten up
in the basic
cheating,
Baba was provide all it is a despicable
Bhatia sanyasi Om he uninivtedly public and to perform
By Pushpa states fail
Cool it. village after common
West Delhi and began that mostly

Apropos the article cricket. Therefore, it is only natural that

a social gathering towards fact masses wanting.,
they arrived in leaving the
get hurt if able signals this duty, living in deprivation
are likely to repress anger to make objection People constantly, and godmen
that they . So they kids, a woman. these sanyasis to end their
get aggressive beings like approach measures

SANYASIS
on weaker
or vent it . for remedial
themselves these
pets or even anger takes the shape woes. known whetherthe lives

BAD DAYS FOR

Repressed ng, over- It is not improving
, over-drinki woman from succeed in succeed in
of over-eating behaviour, of sanyasis people, but they do
Then a 22-year-old the capital in

Manage Your Anger-

obsessive to
exercising, and attempts of a of
these exploit them
thapuram, them and
suicidal tendencies secretive means. Thiruvanan off the penis for trapping manner,
including
through as pain Kerala, chopped raping her possible women of
the

Appropros the outstanding women cricketers get hurt

hurt others up in the body has been the every sex with the
It usually shows sanyasi who It is reported that
origin, also
skin disorders
DEGRADING seven years. knew well that
her unbridled don
of unknown difficulties. DEMOCRACY is
girls mother being raped but she
did household.sanyas, these godmenjust to

B
and breathing As for prime
normal, ritish democracy of was quiet. robe in their sanyas is
Anger is perfectly But when it regarded
as the Mother daughter
stop this
and kept the sanyasis people. Real
emotional. s, it s. This mother nothing to also been the gullible ones life, when a
sometimes your relationship all democraciegoing to poll on mother has reporting cheat of
starts affecting s is Now, the for not the last phase
all familial duties.
of all democraciethe new parliament by police free from
becomes a
problem. ties with elect detained
abuse of her
daughter. person gets lead an ascetic
Aparna cut 8 June and Emily Pinarayi she should

Cool It by Pushpa
the sexual Then he or sanyasis thriving

WE
22-year-old he started Brexit. 22-year-old who chief minister hoards of
cousin when for a smooth Even Kerala hold his laughter and life. But the present a contradicto
ry
her closest minor things. election candidate from
temper over Owen is an election Vijayan could not t would India
losing his

editorial in (June I). on been overlooked by the board and

he she if his governmen all over
he is enraged, around is contestingLabour Party and when asked godman, said, lifestyle of
opulence.
Whenever
s with everyone
for
Aberconwy by messages from men against the
older take action
misbehave are much
is bombarded strip for votes and action is needed?
those who was so What more TERS
WOMEN CRICKE
him, even to
she says. I that asking her size of her cricket when
than he is, with his behaviour to know the
disappoint
ed
a year now.
demanding trolled with
she is being announc- NEGLECTED wicket-take
r in womens a few days
spoken for tend to rack. In fact, since from IPL up 181 wickets

I
we havent messages emerging she picked
anger issues 'disgusting' election. ndia is just enter ICC back. and star
People with by saying to contest and about to skipper
around them ing her decision shocked mania and matches Then Indias Raj became the first
hurt people Trophy. IPL of
Apparently sexist abuse Champions were topics this batsman Mithali captain 100
ed at the to such cricketer to
embarrass
rightly retaliatedwont be and cricketers e. But amid of Indian woman captaining

Bhatia (WE: June - II). There is no iota of the sponsors.

Emily has You
everywher nt She has been 2004 and
discussion achieveme matches.
men by tweeting: their penis missed the ODI eleven since
hoopla was who recently Indian womens credit. In
asking male
candidates cricketers, lar ODI to her
women 60 wins men, Sachin
to d in a quadrangu Indian has n, among in 73 ODIs.
size. men are eager participate where compariso
It seems British her body. Their South Africa has captained achieve -
explore series in created history. the Tendulkar incredible
see and a young womann women cricketers proud moment Deepti
for Despite these usually
attitude towards the degradatio It was a women cricketers side
exposes women cricketers ments, Indian while mens has
candidate . For them country when became the the limelight Mithali
democracy do Punam Raut partnership miss
in British and intelligence Sharma and away all applause. about
political acumen candidate happens share a 300-run against the takes expressed her anguish bear
first pair to made a 320 that stadiums

The scientific aspects related to the

in rightly

doubt that women's Notwithstanding the fact that

if the such thing
not matter
woman. Had media would in ODIs. They at Potchefstr oom neglect, saying womens cricket
to be a from this look during viewers watch
in India, our Ireland teamSharma scored 188
air space by deserted very few This is
happened pages and South Africa. second highest score of matches and TV sets.
have spilled male mentality. This 160 balls
the
Belinda Clark playing on the
in ODIs after has become a them ory and against
flaying Indian be a lesson for Indian a woman discriminat
episode should who declare Indian This series with certainly game. W
Australia. women, spirit of ansera.com
women also, and sex hungry and for Indian the highest
as milestone becoming write to: editor@wom
men lecherous or western men Jhulan Goswami
idolise British .
icons of masculinity

feeling and causes of anger have been cricket will receive less Sachin's cricketing feat holds a special
well illustrated in this article. The attention from administrators, media place in cricket history, sadly Mithali Raj
reaction associated with the divine trait and cricket loving public as long as got no recognition so far for her
of anger among humans should be Indians are blindly caught in men's phenomenal feat as captain and star
exposed spontaneously in a positive cricket frenzy. It is sad that women batswoman of the indian team.
and acceptable manner rather than
allowing it to be suppressed. Irritability
WHEN WOMEN WILL
from
womb I heard
still in the

W
hen I was the son-
that in India resulting
various sources very strong

realise and give regard or respect

attitude is

among human beings is an individual preference the well-off

ly among
s, especial eloped states
le abortion
in large-sca and in well-dev 940:1000.

FEEL FREEDOM!
d families ie.
and educate sex ratio
the skewed

Is it
resulting in

rather than a social cause of concern. my fault which they themselves expect from
that my
One becomes irritable when one loses gender is This refers to the women folk ? Why this discrimination?
FEMALE? a A. Rashee
d

article Is it My Fault that

By Dr Rameez
nhood.
Woes of woma

his or her temper to cope up with I strongly feel that women themselves
al
fundament
world. My me.
seeing this denied to
born was
my right to be
Foeticide foetus. When
I was a female was confirmed, Infanticide allowed me to be born
pregnancy But my
mothers in my family. My family determine
there was
jubilation the minute could not as girl
into sorrow child to be since they I was born
that turned birth and When
learnt that
the sex before in a poor family.

My Gender is Female?
to the
the family
be a girl, thanks . into this world I heard that in India
born would in medical technology I was still
alive is

have to leap forward in one voice for

nt female infanticide

situations around. Chronic irritability is

advanceme
day, I was
helplessly practice of and security
From that weeping all
the due to dowry y
my mother widespread contributes significantl
and and
watching her room
privacy of problems of missing
time in the against the to the number description
).
my father martia Sens
arguing with family to abort me women(A birth, the
decision of
the
eldest child
to date of my
From the my father
wanted the family and
since they only their
will elders in the to kill me since they
be a boy. Finally, wishes were planning
over my mothers from 7
prevailed
brutally prevented
and I was

(woes of womanhood) their own rights. Mindset of the men

(First) 2017

a symptom of mental disorder rather

Era May
Womans

than a common tendency. In fact, there by Dr Rameeza A. has to be changed from the grass-
is voluminous work of research Rasheed. (WE May I, 2017) I am really roots level. Educating both the sexes
generated in clinical psychology and disheartened to read the plight of from the beginning of life is the need
psychiatry on this aspect of irritation women in the country where Durga, of the hour. Age-old dictum BOYS
commonly identified as an undesirable Laxmi and Saraswati are worshipped WILL BE BOYS has to be changed.
tendency among normal human with great fervour. And men humiliate Though in such a grim scenario it is
beings. and exploit women time and again not a joke to change the mindset
Control over one's own senses is just to satisfy their own ego and immediately or in near future. It may
necessary to keep one's own quality of dominant nature. take years and years of struggle, fight
irritability unexploded in order not to It is very painful to reveal that in and endevours on both sides.
become a cause for offence and the whole span of womens life there Education on war footing and ads,
external violence, for which, of course are more than 95 per cent cases displays, exhibits and stringent laws
one needs a balance of mind and of where women have to undergo one have to play the role of eradicating
senses. A congenial atmosphere to lead or more of stages which are such a stigma from the society.
a serene, happy and violence-free life is mentioned by the author. It is a fact Mothers, sisters, wives daughters and
possible only when the undesirable that women are harassed, silenced, friends have to come forward and
sense of irritability is dispensed with abused, disgraced, tortured, raped, mend their ways in an amiable way.
from across the mental state of molested and even killed in this Isnt COOL? When women will feel
individuals in society who are reactive, patriarchal society, not even in our freedom from all the atrocities
impulsive and are let down by such country but throughout the world. It inflicted upon them and move freely
state of irritability during the well- is a great irony that the creator of the like their counterpart anytime and
tamed course of their interaction with human life is savagely doomed ! anywhere in the world without any
other people. It is a fact that men and women fear! The motto LIVE AND LET
While there are several and multiple are equal partners for the creation of OTHERS LIVE will hold good !
causes which are responsible to create human life Then why dont men Shobha Jyoti, New Delhi.

Womans Era July (First) 2017 145

 Time has come when we need a I recorded
way back
not, he was
the
Mans Mans
ts a Mans singer James Brown
in 1966. You
right.
World

agree or

onto the
the most

In this day

hard nut,
of deepening
another way age, when balance
and
n relationship
man-woma supposedly important
this
clogs the
Isnt this yet
wanted detail. patriarchy?

is already
in a

little progress
a
A CHILD BELONGS them easily. They can be, however,
TO BOTH PARENTS
are passed information equality. Mothers
Certain rules with an expectation we make towards to be given
equal
next generation without deserves it
name, too, not more. After all,

more vibrant and positive approach outwitted through conscious efforts.

will be accepted , if
that they century, weightage
In the 21th for to tango.
questions.
logic is sought takes two
however, peoples faces
s thrown at such in social media digital age
stereotype One Furore
of rules. is a hyperactive
in the name le decree
unreasonab name. We live in and videos
go viral
irksome and where information of likes
with the fathers the number
obsession to admission in seconds; post makes the content
certificates answer a
From birth s seek an received on
even in
application of paternal be written
forms, all question worthy to s.
to this eternal is the end-all and
be- and newspaper media has

towards women's cricket by giving due Should we ever relax our alertness they
if this magazines social
lineage as on Earth. with time, for people
dilemma faced the Therefore,
potent medium
all for every neurosis of asking become a yet timeless
issues.
This lunatic at birth, to raise pertinent
begins right all a Ralte, a
Facebook
fathers name a vicious cycle in Lalnunsang an
into becomes Shillong, wrote our
developing circuits. It user from sneers at
legal and leading poem which him often

Whats in a Name?
evocative
t for reminding
governmen father. They're
late
about his

recognition and encouragement on par Fathers Refer to Whats in a Is it not in

mothers?
the
could raise their head again. And only
Fathers Name?
Chauhan

with men's cricket so that they do not by conscious and tireless effort made
By Priyanka

feel a neglected lot any more. Similarly,
the Sports Ministry must also plan to
make the administration of women's
cricket more professional so that it
gets the attention and response it
deserves which in turn encourages
more women players to perform their
best in international tournaments to
bring more laurels to the nation.
R. Srinivasan, Secunderabad.
Priyanka Chauhan (WE towards that end in all sincerity for a
June I 2017). A child is long stretch of time, could bring about
born out of father and mothers love the desired change. In fact, given our
(sex!). As such child belong to both power of free will, which is duly aided
parents equally. Also, child gets many by faculty of discriminate intelligence
traits-inherits qualities, etc. of both we could identify, acknowledge and
father and mother. Neither totally it address our inherent frailties.
belongs only to mother or father. A Beena Mathur, Pune.
mother is involved more emotionally as
she carries the child in her womb for
none months. But rightly it is her Sho rt
Story Apart
A TOUCHING STORY
Drifting
The story Drifting
Rao
By Rama to get their
going to him issues
To what end? He had brought problems and

pleasure and most satisfying emotional

gentleman. in the

O
Vishnur of changes resolved.
m Vishvam about a lot a few months
Bhuta
ashram withinHe started had

T
Vashatkaro
he ambulance a
Bhavya Bhavat of his joining.
inmates to
lead there was
arrived and
Prabhuh. Vishnuwas being teaching the ashram. The
by involving buzz in the
am an active life, yoga, chess, out of Mr
Sahasranam m, the in doctor came and declared,
true played at Anandashra themselves more
Raghavs room
Yes, it was old-age home
in gardening
and many
Initially, there He is no more. shocked.

Apart By Rama Rao,

a sign
that in these Ahmedabad
. This was
of the
such activities. to his Everyone was
no some resistancesheer not come to
three years that the inmates was
by his

desire fulfilled. Father too has the

started their changes. But They could the
ashram had the fact that
one had visited Suddenly,
the he started
becoming terms with
None daily routine. A hush swept nature, with all the man who was
watching
Mr Raghav. alarm went
off. . very popular ashram. TV with them
entire ashram of inmates of
the cricket on
of the inmates through the
meant that
one of them started yesterday
and cheering
hit a
Soon, many
had the courage This alarm
was ill or, even
a batsman
loudly when no more.
about the inmates got up and was
to ask him life. worse. Saroja She asked,
boundary in-charge of
Mr Ojha, the to the
l He
his persona a rushed outside. had brought the ashram
, went
He was such that What happened? has had a about a lot
of changes
office room
and everyone
Mr Ojha
Mr Raghav within a few
good person gathered outside. No one

happiest moment of life on arrival of

in the ashram joining. He

May II issue, made my

to We have
heart attack. months of
his
was heard
saying,
nobody wanted informed Dr
Mishra and

the inmates
started teaching life, by visited Mr
Raghav in
these
even
hurt his feelingsany called an ambulance.
had joined to lead an
active
in three years.
He did not
him Mr Raghav involving themselves contact number
by asking m three years ed yoga. give us any should we
Anandashra well-travell What
persona l back. He was ed
a or address.
might be left
do now? We to
question s. and well-inform option but
with no other rites
last
perform his

their child. It is another matter that heart sink. Fate and

society get-up is like that it is more of
fathers child than the mothers.
In upbringing of child both mother
and father are equally important and
have a different role to play. Both
parents are equally important for the
qualitative growth of the child. In
todays world of equality of sex-gender
women and men too are raising the
child alone. Though the number of men
are very low but now on an increasing
trend. It is better if both parents-father
and mothers name are used and made
essential in all spheres of life including
legal require ments. Such a practice
shall add more colours to married life
of the couple. So, what is the fuss in
keeping both parents name in the life
of the child.
Mahesh Kapasi, New Delhi.
BITS
HASSLING HA
DIE HARD
This refers to the
destiny has something
in store for every
human being and it is predetermined.
How a poem with a few lines (showing
that pen is mightier than a sword) and
money sent to a different State before
a mutual talk between each other,
changed the life of an otherwise happy
family, simply due to misunder -
standing, is clearly felt in this story. An
open talk by Madhu with her husband
Raghav, could have cleared all her
doubts and guilt. The guilt by Madhu
on realising her mistake, made her get
back and unite with her beloved lastly.
Preetha Rengaswamy, Chennai.
The prize is awarded to:
Shobha Jyoti, New Delhi.
WOMAN'S ERA
invites readers
AN ANALYTICAL PIECE opinions and
reactions on
se civility

but know
not
Becau
is tough.
By Mahara
ja K. Koul

articles, short stories

what we are,

analytical and infor- We know re

and features published

be. William Shakespea
what we may makes us
breach
what
So. err, social
smoke. We in
spit. civility or forget worth th
the code of

W
ere fat. We Every handbook aunt
much. Defecate courtesies?
Drink too or every agony
the open.
Dont exercise printers ink ascribe
ered. Were advice would
worth her cultural
short-temp
enough. WereAnd our stress levels
are conduct to
d. sidetracked of morality or simply,
mores, states

in Womans Era. The best

ill-mannere

mative article titled

off the charts. ourselves, and we .
eccentricity all good manners mu
Were killing we carry on Of course, wal
yet If Mr Chatterjee
know it. And urinating start at home.balcony of his second
, lighting up, the
overeating rush to the fields or across to
the
jet of paan
j
seeing a wall, with a lota, slumping
in to spit out a
floor flat son both
railway tracks jumping queues, his teenaged wrapper
why would
front of the
TV, potato chip
catch public
transport- to throw his who strid
jostling to the Guptas
a bin? Take

Hassling Habits die Hard.

some of the greatest in full family k

letter will be given a prize of

inspiring of genomics, a cinema theatre their
the words over a dozen, and s
thinkers in ry and strength of
neuroscien
ce, biochemistto pander onto the seats adu
ry psychology clambering the
why is it over, while
evolutiona question: popcorn all the darkn
the most puzzling to change? guffaw in
people constantly set of codes, train
so hard for to instill in
us the each his own
Parents try red right notions of
civility.
being well-manne were mis
virtues of Why else do you Is it possible that Unlikely,
days. ne gene?
from our early toilet-trained? What

`500. Address your letters by

all self-discipli National Acade
think were us to grow up and pee the American b
wall? What there may
then induces Science suggests
available publicpublic, ns of genes
and
on the first in that m
pick our teeth after meals, combinatio

(WE May II 2017). It is

makes us ntal factors ma
during and environme people to
slurp or belch abreast on the hard for some
walk in a group on grass in parks
or their habits.
tread control over North Dakota
have A study at
sidewalk, persons to
the other
not allow
sentence?
complete

said that old attitudes, E-mail to: letters@womansera.com

or by post to:
habits die hard. Because the seeds of
habits and attitudes are firmly laid AS YOU SAY
down in the deep realm of one's mind,
coming as they may with cause and E-3 Jhandewala Estate,
New Delhi-110055.
effect chain carried over from the past, Womansera.com
which holds the key to how one would
Name:
conduct in day-to-day life. And
Mobile:
invariably, the seeds are so firmly
E-mail:
grounded that it is impossible to uproot

146 Womans Era July (First) 2017