Documenti di Didattica
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The Brave
Let yourself go with PHIL KAY at Eden Court this month.
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ART P07
Hi, howre you doin? In the spirit of our cover star,
the impulsively brilliant Phil Kay, were ad-libbing this
foreword. We could go anywhere. Could a black hole
simply be something moving away (relatively) at greater
than the speed of light? Could a cow milk a human?
Anywhere. In fact, this is always true. Your whole life
FILM P10
could go anywhere, any minuteand despite that being
true for every life ever lived, we somehow nd it scary.
Youll die, well die, but in between we get to do stuff. It
doesnt really matter what. Have a read of this magdo
some of this stuff, why not? Phil will
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
KIDS P13
Gallery celebrates its 20th year in 2017 and marks that with
two special shows, PART ONE starts this month; whilst over
at Eden Court you can view the Tesco Art Competition.
| FILM (P10) X-Mens Wolverine bows out in the grown-up
looking Logan, moving from TV to lm are both the Cranston-
tastic Power Rangers movie and, erm CHiPS. Kidsll love
MUSIC P16
autotuned Hermione Granger in Beauty & The Beast and,
talking of beasts, is that a monkey? says the trailerno, its
Tom Hiddlestone and a giant gorilla in Kong: Skull Island.
And dont miss Ben Wheatleys Free Fire. | KIDS (P13) There
are various Fun Runs if you like rm ground, but slippery souls
might seek out the Scottish Childrens Championships at
SPECIALS P27
FREE interior design advice
Saturday 11th March Tartan carpet
ong
s?
ring?
Amtico floo ring?
floo
[ see page 27 ]
Some fine established artists there then, but what about the future? Well there could well
be some new talent revealed by the winners of the TESCO BANK ART COMPETITION
FOR SCHOOLS. Each year, the competition attracts entries from children throughout
Scotland, 7,500 of them this time round, with works in the National Galleries collection
chosen to provide inspiration. 53 winning young artists were commended in their
respective categories at the awards ceremony at the Scottish National Gallery, where
they also saw their artwork go on display to the public for the very first time. And the
exhibition of winners is coming to EDEN COURT from 03 MAR27 APR.
1 2 3 4 5
07
ALIEN HOLE GALLERY winning artworks selected from
thousands of entries received
HALF-LIGHT, 4 Mar 15 Apr,
A touring exhibition of
entitled squeezed trees and
communities.
MIXED EXHIBITION, to 11 Mar, monochromatic works
from all over Scotland in
ART
08
SCHOOLS 2016, March show ROBERT MCAULAYs latest
& April, See the 53 works; a group of paintings
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1 2
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Cinema Crazier Than Tr*mp!
If youd have said to us a couple of years ago the main new releases for March
2017 will be a Power Rangers movie, a new King Kong take, another Wolverine film,
the latest Smurfs adventure and CHiPS, the 70s TV show brought to the big screen
for the first time, wed have been well within our rights to a) have thought you were
crazy lying and/or b) go jump off the biggest cliff we could find on Skull Island.
However, it seems like crazy, stupid you was right
Possibly the best prospect of these is in fact HUGH JACKMANs final Wolverine outing,
LOGAN [1] (Vue, 28 Feb), which boasts two pretty promising trailershinting at a more
mature, human (funny, for mutants) and dark film with well reviewed performances
from both Jackman and PATRICK STEWART. After Peter Jacksons pompous Jack Black
Kong, comes a new incarnation in KONG: SKULL ISLAND [2] (Vue, 10 Mar) in which
TOM HIDDLESTON, BRIE LARSON, SAMUEL L JACKSON, JOHN GOODMAN and JOHN
C REILLY find themselves in the (very) outsized gorillas back yard. The animation looks
a step up from previous efforts and theres a streak of welcome humour to help it all
alongthis is all designed to culminate in the 2020 pairing of the big ape with 2014s
Godzilla, now who doesnt want to see that?! Bryan Cranston starred in that 2014
movie, his first Kaiju production since his little-known early life as two Power Rangers
baddiesand believe it or not, he stars (now as mentor Zordon) in the new big-screen
version of that franchise when POWER RANGERS [3] comes to Vue, 24 Mar. Look out
for some original ranger cameos More beasts appear (in more small-child friendly
form) in both SMURFS: THE LOST VILLAGE (Vue, 30 Mar) and, literally, in Disneys live
action BEAUTY AND THE BEAST [4] (EC & Vue, 17 Mar) EMMA Hermione WATSON
stars avec autotune with hot-to-trot DAN STEVENS and LUKE EVANS. Not entirely
convinced of the need/demand/reasons for the animation-into-live-action process yet.
Perhaps this will illuminate. And then theres CHiPS [5] (Vue, 24 Mar). Written and
directed by DAX SHEPHARD, usually seen playing jackasses in the likes of Employee of
The Month or but nowadays perhaps best known for his Samsung phone ads with his
wife, Kristen Bell, this has us all unsure and wincing. Even our favourite Scientologist,
MICHAEL PEA mightnt salvage it. Or then again, maybe itll be a classic
Also slated for release (but maybe wont appear at Vue/on time) are THE LOST
CITY OF Z (24 Mar) and RULES DONT APPLY (10 Mar) and I.T. (10 Mar). The
first stars CHARLIE HUNNAM with TOM HOLLAND, SIENNA MILLER and ROBERT
PATTINSON in the real-life (ish) story of Brit explorer Percy Fawcett searching for a
lost Amazonian city; the second is that Warren Beatty Howard Hughes film with LILY
COLLINS and ALDEN EHRENREICH; and finally, talking of aviation tycoons, PIERCE
BROSNAN plays one in a weirdly uncomfortable attempt at a zeitgeisty film gone
bador so it seems from the trailera revenge thriller in which a rich guy hires a
young tech wizard to fix his wifi, snubs him and then comes to regret it when he is
plunged into a world of tech-revenge-hell, haha.
Last months films this month at Eden Court provide very rich Oscar-nommed
pickings in the form of LA LA LAND (31 Mar), FENCES (31 Mar), MOONLIGHT (24
Mar) which was sadly overlooked in the BAFTAs, as was HIDDEN FIGURES (10
Mar), then theres HACKSAW RIDGE (03 Mar) which wasnt, LOVING (03 Mar), plus
significant releases THE GREAT WALL (31 Mar) with MATT DAMON, 20TH CENTURY
WOMEN (03 Mar) with ANNETTE BENING and THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE (11 Mar)
with, erm, animated plastic bricks. And a smart, witty script and voice performances
from WILL ARNOTT, RALPH FIENNES, MICHAEL CERA and ZACH GALIFIANAKIS.
11
Be quick when you get this mag and you might turn up to EDEN COURT in time
to run into excitingly weird film maker, BEN WHEATLEY who is attending a unique
preview screening of his much-talked about new film FREE FIRE on 27 Feb (with
Q&A after) ahead of its full UK release on 30 Mar. Another artistic highpoint will be
Paul Verhoevens empowering and disturbing ELLE [6], which has drawn rave reviews
for ISABELLE HUPPERTs performance and an absolute stack of awards nominations
and arrives at Eden Court on 31 Maravoid missing it if you can. This months EC
Cult Cinema is the classic SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION (23 Mar), and you would do
well to give Inverness Film Fans screening of Louis Malles 1958 debut (complete
with Miles Davis soundtrack) LIFT TO THE SCAFFOLD [7] a go (07 Mar).
As ever, there are many releases that wont quite make it to VUE but sometimes
some of those surprise us and showkeep your fingers crossed for PERSONAL
SHOPPER [8] (17 Mar) Oliver Assayas slowly strange psych-thriller with KRISTEN
STEWART, GET OUT [9], a discomforting race horror (17 Mar) and MAN DOWN [10]
(31 Mar) a post-Afghan war drama with the increasingly interesting SHIA LABEOUF
plus KATE MARA and GARY OLDMAN
A few days earlier, on 01 APR theres more prodigious creativity courtesy of the
HIGHLAND YOUNG MUSICIANS CONCERTS FESTIVAL [1], again at EDEN COURT.
With around 300 talented young musicians from across the Highlands performing
in two wonderful concerts in one day, youre spoiled for choice, so might as well
settle in and see both. The 3pm performance features HIGHLAND REGIONAL
YOUTH ORCHESTRA; CISIR G; HIGHLAND YOUTH BIG BAND and HIGHLAND YOUTH
STRING ORCHESTRA, while at 6.30pm you can see HIGHLAND YOUTH WIND BAND;
HIGHLAND YOUTH CHOIR; HIGHLAND PULSE and the curiously named SNAS.
Youthful talent isnt confined to indoors and from 1113 MAR at NEVIS RANGE its
the SCOTTISH CHILDRENS SKIING CHAMPS & BAIRNS BUCKET [2], the first
named open to under 16s and under 14s, the Bairns Bucket to under 12s. All
of whom will no doubt put their elders to shame with their skills and assurance.
Kids will also be participating in the NAIRN FUN RUN on 05 MAR. Taking place
on the same day as the Nairn 10K, it not only marks the beginning of the running
season, but also raises plenty of money for good causes. So take part or at least
head along to cheer the competitors.
More KIDS features and events at: whatsonhighlands.com
1 2
13
The pay & play golf course with
18 holes of golf over a 9 hole routing
Green Fees: 9h - 18 | Day - 25
4 Ball Offer: 9h - 60 | Day - 80
Monthly Ticket: 80
Season Ticket: 200
(Season 22nd April to the 22nd of October)
Instruction with a PGA Professional:
50min Lesson - 35 | 6 lessons course - 175
Beginners Package:
(Club hire, 5 lessons, 3 months green fees) - 350
info@brahangolfclub.ch Tel: 07731 663335
Located 1 mile west of the Maryburgh
roundabout on the A835
TUE 28 FEB 10-3. This event is suitable
for young and old, especially
MON 13 MAR MON 03 APR
CURLING BEGINNERS SCOTTISH CHILDRENS 2017 SAFER HIGHLAND
SESSIONS @ Inverness Ice families with young children. CHAMPS & BAIRNS BE YOUR BEST ROCK
Come along and enjoy the fun.
ART
Centre, 5.30pm. All you BUCKET @ Nevis Range CHALLENGE @ Eden Court,
need are warm clothes and Supported by the Safer
clean footwear. The sessions SUN 05 MAR SAT 25 MAR Highland Group the 2017
are open to all age groups NAIRN FUN RUN 2017 BOOKBUG CELEBRATES nationwide tour of Rock
from 9-10 years and over. @ Nairn, 2.30pm. EARTH HOUR @ Fortrose Challenge and J Rock
Equipment will be provided Part of the Nairn 10K. Library, 10.30am. A special returns to Eden Court Theatre
and qualified coaches will be Registration at Nairn Earth Hour themed Bookbug for another consecutive
on hand to provide tuition. Community Centre from 1pm. session aims to encourage year. Schools from across
Cost for a block of four Entry on the day only. Fun the enjoyment of rhymes, the region create eight
FILM
sessions is 20. run minimum age 8. All stories and books amongst minute dance, drama and
entrants aged 8 and 9 must children, from birth to design spectaculars and
SAT 04 MAR be accompanied by an around five years of age. perform together in electric
FAMILY FUN DAY @ Culloden adult during the fun run. Come along and join in evenings of creativity,
Battlefield Visitor Centre, nairnroadrunners.co.uk this free fun session. talent and imagination.
10am - 3pm. For the first time
ever pupils from Charleston
Academy are taking over SAT 11 MAR SAT 01 APR
HIGHLAND YOUNG
Culloden Battlefield. The SCOTTISH CHILDRENS
KIDS
MUSICIANS CONCERTS
travel and tourism students CHAMPS & BAIRNS FESTIVA @ Eden Court, With
have spent the past 4 BUCKET @ Nevis Range around 300 talented young
months learning about the musicians from across the
site and planning the event. Highlands performing in two
This day will include a Fashion wonderful concerts in one
Show, a treasure hunt, A quiz
to complete over lunch in the
day, the concerts festival will
leave you spoiled for choice.
TUE 04 APR
2017 SAFER HIGHLAND
centre caf, and a historic highland-young- BE YOUR BEST ROCK
MUSIC
food demonstration to let musicians.com CHALLENGE @ Eden
you see what the people of
the time would have eaten.If Court, As Mon 03 Apr.
you have an IV, PH, KW or AB
postcode you can get into the SUN 12 MAR WED 05 APR
event for free. Just bring proof SCOTTISH CHILDRENS 2017 SAFER HIGHLAND
of postcode. All the activities CHAMPS & BAIRNS BE YOUR BEST ROCK
are located in the main BUCKET @ Nevis Range CHALLENGE @ Eden
SPECIALS
building and will run from Court, As Mon 03 Apr.
Relationship
Counselling
SPORT
Our relationships are the foundation of our lives, but
THEATRE
www.evolve.scot
LIFESTYLE
07514 927022
admin@evolve.scot
15
1
MUSIC
3
4
2
5 1 6 3
6 8
7
10 11
16
Journey Through Time
MUSIC
Much music spanning the decades and all manner of genres this month, but first
a trip back in time for the SCOTTISH ENSEMBLEs BAROQUE DANCE PARTY at
EDEN COURT on 21 MAR. Therell be bangers of their day from Bach, Purcell and
Telemann, while the latters Tafelmusik will be served with a twist. Playing from an
electronic sound tableone of his own creationspercussionist and composer
JOHANNES FISCHER [1] will enhance the joyous collection of dances by creating
loops and patterns from fragments of the music as you hear it. Still think they
shouldve called it Baroque Da House though
From clubbing of hundreds of years ago to that of the 21st century and a very
special FILTH night at IRONWORKS remembering ROSS LYALL [2] who tragically
died last March. His old DJ partner Andrew McGibbon will headline and all proceeds
go to Diabetes Scotland.
Its very much a trip through the last fifty years in terms of this months music,
beginning with a seminal creative talent from the 60s whos just as influential
today, LEE SCRATCH PERRY [3] at IRONWORKS on 11 MAR. A true reggae great
he doesnt necessarily occupy the same dimension as the rest of us much of the
time, so just about anything could happen.
The 70s are well represented with Liverpool soul popsters THE REAL THING (IW,
10 MAR), original Specials man NEVILLE STAPLE [4] supported by the excellent
BOMBSKARE (IW, 25 MAR), punk greats STIFF LITTLE FINGERS [5] (IW, 18 MAR)
and ex Thin Lizzy guitarist Scott Gorhams BLACK STAR RIDERS [6] (IW, 07 MAR).
The 80s are recalled by LLOYD COLE [7] whos touring the world with a show
featuring all his biggest hits and bringing it to EDEN COURT. Thats not until 06 APR,
so more about that next month. A sashay forward into the 90s finds French techno
wizard VITALIC at IRONWORKS on 04 MAR playing live and mixing up more musical
styles than you can imagine, with typical continental lan.
Its a great month for folk too, with the highlight being SOUTHERN TENANT FOLK UNION
[8] at EDEN COURT on 23 MAR, but also recommended are: ROBERT MIZZELL & THE
COUNTRY KINGS [9] (EC, 02 MAR); RED HOT CHILLI PIPERS (THE LOFT, FORRES, 04
MAR); BLAZIN FIDDLES [12] (CRAIGMONIE CENTRE, 06 MAR) and SIOBHAN MILLER
[10] (EC, 09 MAR). Folk in an Oriental manner too from the thrillingly dynamic YAMATO
DRUMMERS OF JAPAN [11] at EDEN COURT on 28 MAR. All recommended.!
For more see whatsonhighlands.com
12
> CLUBBING > CLASSICAL > FOLK > JAZZ/WORLD > ROCK > MORE >
17
WHAT WEVE BEEN LISTENING TO:
Myles from SCHNARFF SCHNARFF
Frank Carter & the Rattlesnakes - Wildflowers Loved some of the frontmans
(Frank Carter) earlier heavy rock anthems when he was in Gallows but this new album
is just class. It is fresh, punky and he actually sings in it (less screaming even
though I do love a bit of screamo). It has moments of arctic monkeys-vibes through
it but mainly a proper, beasting rock tune with a huge chorus (...and outtro). Get
the album!!!
Audio Karate - Aim to Please This is an old but inuential thrashy rock tune from
the early 00s. The guys voice must be hard as nails on tour it is rather shouty and
rough but works so much with the music. This tune is one of the highlights from
the album and was played on repeat when we were in school. This band shouldve
been huge!!
And So I Watch You From Afar - Ambulance This has hints of Biffy in it but ASIWYFA
are mainly instrumental rock, though they will chant in the background at time. The
album this is taken from is class in the car get it blasted and watch your speed.
The guitar work in it is insane and there is a massive metal breakdown in this track
that will get your heart racing so good.
Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark - Electricity This very early 80s pop tune is
so addictive and I have had it on repeat for about a week now. Catchy glockenspiel-
sounding keys, synthy post-choruses and a rather monotone vocal that ts so well with
the cheesy aspects of the track. You cannot listen to this tune once not possible.
***BONUS TRACK***
Schnarff Schnarff - This Is How We Get Some
Get this in your lugs too for obvious reasons.
18
JUSTIN CURRIE & THE PALLBEARERS
BE CH ARL OTTE
LAU TIDELINES
OO H OO INDVELVET
IG O
BOOH
SKJR
PRONT O MA MA
KVASIR WUH OH
LEATHER
THE VEGAN
E
PLUS MANY MOR
23-24TH JUNE
BOGBAIN FARM, INVERNESS
tickets: fatsoma.com/northern-roots-festival
CLASSICAL
Ceilidh Band. Fundraising
ART
FRANKIE SAY VINYL @ Vinyl, SCOTTISH TRAD SESSION @ for Feis a Bhaile.
10pm. Every Saturday. Hootananny, 9.30pm. 06-08,
12-15, 19-22, 27-29 Mar. PICTISM @ Hootananny
SAT 04 MAR SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE @ Gs,
INVERNESS CHORAL
SOCIETY COFFEE MORNING
10.30pm. Every Saturday. TUE 07 MAR SAT 18 MAR
MCGOLDRICK, MCCUSKER & SCHIEHALLION @
@ Inverness Town House,
10.30am-12.30pm.
SAT 04 MAR DOYLE @ Eden Court, 8pm. Hootananny, 9.30pm.
VITALIC @ The Ironworks,
group, play Bach, Corelli, Singer of the Year title at the Aviemore, 8.30pm.
Albinoni, Greig, Borodin. Aviemore, 9pm Scots Trad Music Awards.
musicnairn.org.uk
THU 30 MAR
FOLK
INTERNATIONAL WOMENS
SCOTTISH CHAMBER DAY @ Old Bridge Inn, TALISK @ Eden Court, 8pm.
ORCHESTRA @ Eden Aviemore, 8.30pm. (One Winners of the 2015 BBC
Court, 7.30pm. Day Late!) The Bevvy Radio 2 Young Folk Award.
SAT 25 FEB Sisters and The Misss.
FRI 17 MAR INVERNESS MUSIC FESTIVAL LILIAN ROSS & JAMIE
MUSIC
JAZZ/WORLD
NORTH SEA GAS @ PIPE BAND CONCERT @
baroque dance tunes with Eden Court, 7.30pm.
a contemporary twist. Hootananny, 9.30pm
DOUGALS JUMPER @
SAT 25 MAR SARA BILLS & THE
HASBEENS @ The Hootananny, 9.30pm. SAT 11 MAR
INAUGURAL CONCERT OF Market Bar, 10pm LEE SCRATCH PERRY @
THE NESS SINFONIA @ TUE 14 MAR The Ironworks, 7.30pm. One
THEATRE
CLUBBING
SUPER CEILIDH @ and artists of all time.
Hootananny, 2.30pm. Every
Saturday afternoon with Fraser THU 16 MAR
& Erik. 2.30pm-4.30pm MAIRI CAMPBELL: PULSE TUE 28 MAR
@ Eden Court, 7.30pm. YAMATO THE DRUMMERS
FRI 24 FEB RED HOT CHILLI PIPERS @ OF JAPAN @ Eden
GROOVE CAIRNGORM The Loft, Forres, 7.30pm. PEATBOG FAERIES @ Court, 7.30pm.
@ Aviemore, UHall, Findhorn, 7.30pm.
groovecairngorm.co.uk INVERNESS FIDDLERS
ROCK
SPILL
OPEN EVENING
JOIN US AT THE NEW
INVERNESS CAMPUS
WED 01 MAR AND THU 06 APR, 5-7PM
Our Guidance Team, our students and lecturers will be
there to help you find the perfect course, answer
questions and provide a tour of the building.
SING-ALONG-A-SWING
SUN 12 MAR SUN 19 MAR MON 27 MAR
SPORT
Market Bar, 10pm. Johnny Foxes, 10pm. The Market Bar, 10pm.
NICK MERCER JR @
Mad Hatters, 9.30pm. KEVIN FRASER @ J Foxes
GERRY COOGAN @ ROBIN ABBOT @ The
Johnny Foxes, 10pm. Market Bar, 10pm.
BEN & EMILY @ The
Market Bar, 10pm. WED 29 MAR
TUE 14 MAR TUE 21 MAR STEVE EAGLESHAM @
MON 06 MAR CALVIN PRIOR @ The
Market Bar, 10pm.
ANDY DUNCAN @ The
Market Bar, 10pm.
The Market Bar, 10pm.
ROBIN ABBOT @ The
Market Bar, 10pm THU 30 MAR
SPILL
22
March
EDEN COURT 2017
MOONLIGHT (15)
FRI 24 THU 30 MAR
r ctor Barry
Dire
re r Jenkins I Starring Mahers
ry r hala Ali, Shariff Earp, Naomie Harris
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USA I 2016 I 111 mins I moonlight.movie
Moonlight follows the life of a young black man thro r ugh childhood, his teenage years
ro r and into manhood
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as he tries to find his place in the world while gro
r wing up in a ro
ro r ugh Miami neighbourhood. A bold and
r levant story
re r of self-discovery
ry r highlighting the struggles of one man to accept his sexuality.
ry y
y.
ALSO SCREENING THIS MONTH: LION, DENIAL, LIVE BY NIGHT, TONI ERDMAN, SING AND NT LIVE: ST JOAN
FOR SCREENING TIMES SEE THE TIMETABLE & FOR MORE INFO GO TO WWW.EDEN-COURT.CO.UK
Welcome to the Robertson Screens. At Robertson weve always been a keen supporter of
the arts: from brass bands to theatre shows to music festivals and now cinema. We helped to
redevelop Eden Court and were proud that we can continue to work in partnership with them
by sponsoring the cinemas.
Robertson Investing Building Caring
We hope you enjoy your film. robertson.co.uk
Pro
r gra
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s Dre
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re Friends Coffee Morning AD Audio Described S Subtitled 60 Silv
lve
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ver Linings
THE
THE SLEEPING
SLEEPING BEAUTY
BEAUTY (TBC) PALE
PALE MOON
MOON
SUN 05 MAR ENCORE KAMI
KAMI NO
NO TSUKI
TSUKI (15+) THU 02 MAR
Music Py
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Seat Price 17.50 / 15.00 concession
Kotas debt. Is Rikas newfound lifestyle the key to happiness and how long can it last?
NT
NT LIVE:
LIVE: HEDDA
HEDDA GABLER
GABLER (As Live 12A) LADY
LADY MAIKO
MAIKO
THU 09 MAR LIVE SUN 12, SUN 26 & TUE 28 MAR ENCORES MAIKO
MAIKO WA
WA RED
RED (15+) SUN 05 MAR
TUE 28 MAR SCHOOLS ENCORE r ctor Masayuki Suo II Starring Mone Ka
Dire
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SHOKUBUTSUGUN (18+) SAT
A 11 MAR
AT
Seat price: 15 / 13 concession
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Dire
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ROYAL
ROYAL OPERA
OPERA HOUSE:
HOUSE: An innovative and eror tically
ro l charg
ly r ed dra
rg r ma about Ichiro
ra r , a man who stumbles into an unsettling
ro
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r st in Akikos pro
re r miscuous sister.
ro r
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MADAMA
MADAMA BUTTERFLY
BUTTERFLY (TBC)
THU 30 MAR LIVE SUN 02 APR ENCORE
Music Giacomo Puccini II Dire r Moshe Leiser and Patrice Caurier
r ctors
re rs
Conductor Antonio Pappano II Cast Ermonela Jaho, Marc r elo Puente
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BRITAIN
BRITAIN ON
ON FILM:
FILM: RAILWAYS
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Eden Court, Bishops Road, Inverness IV3 5SA Box Office 01463 234 234 Administration 01463 239 841
MARCH 2017 W d 08
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Adult Evening 9.50 DREAM AND SCREAM Specially l for parents and carers
ly r of new babies aged 0 12 months.
rs
Look out for on individual screenings.
Adult Reduced Rates Evening 8.50
U18s & Students 6.00 at all times When a film is marked AD this means that AUDIO DESCRIPTION is available via a headset for all screenings
(please ask Box Office for your headset). When a film is marked S this means there will be selected
Movie Mondays all tickets 7.00 all day SUBTITLED screening/s.
Eden Court Friends 1.00 off When a film is marked AF this means that there will be an AUTISM FRIENDLY SCREENING of this film.
These screenings are especially
l for people on the autistic spectrum and their families, friends and carers
ly r .
rs
Buy for any thre
r e films in a month at one time
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and get 1.00 off each ticket. Tickets cost just 5.00
SUPPORTED BY
SPECIALS
2017
Wonderful
I
World.
The dark days of winter are finally past and its time to take advantage of our
beautiful Highland environment, an impulse given encouragement by the AVIEMORE
20TH CENTURY WOMEN
ADVENTURE FESTIVAL [1] taking place from 0912 MAR. Last years event was
a huge success, so its no surprise to see it back and theres a great line up this AD
time round including talks from worldI leading climber CEDAR WRIGHT [2], Himalayan
Mountaineer and 3 time winner
I
ofI the prestigious
I
Pilot dOr award MICK FOWLER [3],
seakayaker JUSTINE CURGENVEN [4] and long distance cycling adventurer EMILY
CHAPPELL [5]. There are also plenty of outdoor activities taking place throughout
the most magnificent of national parks. Further details at aviemoreadventure.org
1
VICEROY'S HOUSE
AD S
I
2 3I I I
4 5
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
AD S
Maybe exploring such lovely surroundings will remind you how precious not just
I
it, but the whole planet is.I Timely
I
then that
I
SAT 25 MAR marks this years EARTH
HOUR global initiative. To celebrate the Highland Council, at 8.30pm, will again be
switching off floodlights at local landmarks including: Inverness Castle, Cathedral
and Ness Bridge floodlights in addition to Urquhart Castle, Eilean Donan Castle,
Ruthven Barracks, Packhorse Bridge in Carrbridge and Spey Bridge in Grantown.
MOONLIGHT
During Earth Hour, Eden Court will be screening How To Let Go Of The World And
Love All The Things Climate Cant Change, a film by Academy Award Nominee
Josh Fox. Prior to the screening a selection of videos and posters from a school
I
competition will be screened. There will also be a Q&A session with the Councils
I I I
climate change team after the movie, giving you an opportunity to find out about
how the issue is being tackled at a local level.
The admirable INVERNESS SOUPs debut before Xmas was a sell out, so good to
see it back
ALSO at the
SCREENING THIS SPECTRUM
MONTH: LION, CENTRE on 09 MAR. A night of live crowdfunding,
DENIAL, LIVE BY NIGHT, TONI ERDMAN, SING AND NT LIVE: ST JOAN
entertainment,
FOR SCREENING voting
TIMESand, SEE THEas the name &suggests,
TIMETABLE FOR MORE soup!
INFO GOFor a minimum donation
TO WWW.EDEN-COURT.CO.UK
of 5 you will hear local community projects pitch for the entire pot of door money.
4 projects/ 4the
minutes
Welcome to theeach
RobertsontoScreens.
pitch/At4Robertson
minuteswevefor audience
always questions
been a keen supporter of
arts: from brass bands to theatre shows to music festivals and now cinema. We helped to
then time
for soup andredevelop
discussion.Eden Court While
and werethe votes
proud that weare counted,
can continue to workentertainment
in partnership with themcomes from
by sponsoring the cinemas.
local singer Lauren
Robertson Mackenzie.
27
Investing Building Caring
We hope you enjoy your film. robertson.co.uk
More SPECIALS features and events at: whatsonhighlands.com
Book!
Now
18TH22ND APRIL 2017
A five day celebration of Scotlands finest malt whisky and craft gin producers mixed
with liberal dashes of master classes, tastings, food, music and Highland craic.
THE MAIN EVENT THU 20: RARE MALTS
SAT 22: THE BIG DAY OUT THU 20: WHISKY, YOURE THE DEVIL
plus FRINGE EVENTS FRI 21: DUELLING CHEFS
TUE 18: WHISKY ISLAND plus Masterclasses with John Campbell
WED 19: ROUTE WHISK(E)Y SIX (Laphroaig), Scott Fraser (Tomatin) &
THU 20: THE GIN FLING Tony Reeman Clark (Strathearn)
www.invernesswhiskygin.com
Coming sooN}
{Coming sooN
FRI 24 FEB SAT 11 MAR THU 16 MAR and Ness Bridge floodlights
in addition to Urquhart
ENJOY A HEALTHY FREE PROFESSIONAL RSPB HIGHLAND GROUP
ART
Castle, Eilean Donan Castle,
COMPETITION? @ INTERIOR DESIGN ADVICE @ ABRIACHAN WALK @ Depart Ruthven Barracks, Packhorse
Highlands & Moray, Join Sharon Leon Carpets, 1-5pm. Inverness Retail Park car Bridge in Carrbridge and
the HItravel Challenge, for With local interior park (opposite Burger King), Spey Bridge in Grantown.
info: hitravel.getmeactive. designer, Helen Lyons. 9.30am. 01997 433283
org.uk Throughout March. EH: EARTH HOUR STAR
MAD HATTERS GIN TEA INTERPRETING GAZING EVENT @ TBC.
FRI 03 MAR PARTY @ Velocity Cafe,
7.30pm. A boozy afternoon
KIRKMICHAEL @ West
Church Hall, Cromarty,
The Highlands Astronomical
AN EVENING WITH LEVISON Society will be hosting a
tea from the North Hop 7.30pm. Talk by Verity
FILM
WOOD @ Eden Court, star gazing event during
7.30pm. Sharing his festival organisers. Walker. Organised by Earth Hour at Culloden
experiences and exploits Cromarty History Society. Observatory (parking at NTS)
as a modern day explorer. AAF: PANEL DISCUSSION or Falcon Square in Inverness.
Q & A @ Macdonald 6000 YEARS AT Details to be confirmed on.
HOW DO THEY KNOW THAT? Aviemore Cinema, 3.30pm. LITTLEFERRY @ Royal whatsonhighlands.com
@ Birnie Village Hall, 7.30pm. CLIMBER CEDAR WRIGHT Dornoch Golf Club, 7.30pm.
Sigma talk by Bill Leslie. @ Macdonald Aviemore Talk by Scilla Aitchison. HILTON OF CADBOLL
sigma-astro.co.uk Cinema, 7pm. One of the BEACH WALK @ Leave No
SAT 18 MAR
KIDS
worlds most recognized 1 Carpark Dingwall, 10am.
MON 06 MAR professional climbers. CULBOKIE COMMUNITY
MARKET & CAF @ Findon
Dingwall Field Club walk.
01349 864661
A LIFE IN MOUNTAIN
RESCUE @ Nairn Comm Ctr, SUN 12 MAR Hall, Culbokie, 10am.
3pm. Talk by John Allen. HIGHLAND HUMANISTS Goods for sale include
local produce, crafts, other
SUN 26 MAR
MONTHLY ASSEMBLY @ SEE HIGHLAND LANDMARKS
market stalls, and plants.
TUE 07 MAR Kingsmills Hotel, 2pm.
humanism.scot
AS YOU HAVENT SEEN
THEM BEFORE! @ Various.
VARIABLE STARS @ Smithton FROM 14TH TO 21ST
MUSIC
Free Church, 7.20pm. CENTURY @ Spectrum
Highland Astronomical Society AAF: KAYAK EXPEDITIONER
JUSTINE CURGENVEN Centre, 10.30am. The WED 29 MAR
Talk by Maarten de Vries. Clan Donald Society of the THE PREHISTORY OF SKYE @
spacegazer.com @ Macdonald Aviemore Dingwall Commu Ctr, 7.30pm.
Cinema, 2.30pm. Highlands and Islands annual
lecture, by Dr Joseph Morrow An overview including
RED-BREASTED GEESE MICK FOWLER @ Macdonald Q.C. Lord Lyon King of Arms. the results of recent
IN BULGARIA @ Culloden Aviemore Cinema, 7pm. archaeological discoveries.
Library, 7.30pm. Scottish
Ornithologists Club
award winning British
Mountaineer and author. TUE 21 MAR Talk by Steven Birch.
Suggested donation 3.
SPECIALS
talk by Bob Swann. aviemoreadventure.org THE GEOMORPHOLOGY &
LANDSCAPE ORIGINS OF
THE SITE OF INVERNESS @ THU 30 MAR
WED 08 MAR MON 13 MAR Stratherrick Hall, Gorthleck, RSPB NORTH SCOTLAND
HIGHLAND ROCK GARDEN RSGS ILLUSTRATED 7.30pm. Talk by Sandy Ross OFFICE UPDATE 2017 @
CLUB @ Nairn Comm Ctr, LECTURE: TO FRACK OR on behalf of the South Loch Greyfriars Free Church,
7.30pm. Around the upper NOT TO FRACK? @ Highland Ness Heritage Group. 7.30pm. RSPB staff will report
engadine (Switzerland) a Council Chamber, 5.30pm. on various aspects of the
talk by Michael Almond. Talk by Prof Iain Stewart.
THU 23 MAR RSPBs work in the highlands
over the last year. Group
BENEATH THE SURFACE:
THU 09 MAR TUE 14 MAR
SPORT
members 3 Visitors 4
FISH & CHIPS IN RIVERS
2ND INVERNESS SOUP @ INVERNESS BOTANY & LOCHS @ UHI, 5.30pm,
Spectrum Centre, 7pm. GROUP TALK: FUNGI @ BOB POWELL - WORKING
Inaugural lecture with HORSES @ Laggan
A night of live crowdfunding, Smithton Culloden Free Professor Eric Verspoor.
entertainment, voting Church, 7.30pm. Village Hall, 7.30pm.
and soup! Laggan Heritage Talk.
PAST ,PRESENT & FUTURE
JOHN SINGER SARGENT
WED 15 MAR OF EVANTON COMMUNITY
WOOD @ Dingwall Lower
THE SCOTTISH HORSE
ASH DYKES @ Eden Court, PLOOMAN, 1750 ~ 1950 @ THEATRE
THE MASTER OF THE 7.30pm. Ash Dykes recounts Town Hall, 7.30pm. Dingwall
SOCIETY PORTRAIT @ Laggan Village Hall, 7.30pm.
how he was held up by the Field club talk by Adrian Clark. Talk by Bob Powell. Organised
Smithton Free Church, military, dodged bandits, by Laggan Heritage.
2.30pm. Talk by Ms
Mary Alexander.
contracted the deadliest strain SAT 25 MAR lagganheritage.com
of Malaria, built a raft for a EH: EARTH HOUR 2017 @
dangerous river crossing, Various - Highland wide, RSPB TALK NORTH
FRI 10 MAR was almost washed away 8.30pm. Hundreds of millions SCOTLAND OFFICE UPDATE
AAF: ADVENTURE CYCLIST at night by a ferocious, of people will turn off their @ Greyfriars Free Church,
EMILY CHAPPELL @ crocodile infested river and lights for one hour, all across 7.30pm. 01997 433283
Macdonald Aviemore had to hack his way through the world in a huge show
SPILL
29
Inverness Castle, Cathedral
SPORT
2
FILM
The Highlands has become something of a mecca for petrolheads thanks to
the publicity gained by the well-marketed North 500, billing itself, with some
justification as one of the ten best road trips in the world. Lets not forget however
that theres another driving spectacle up here with even more of a splendid history
in the form of the SNOWMAN RALLY [1] taking place on SAT 18 FEB
Since its inception in 1955 the Snowman Rally, organised by the Highland Car
Club, has been a test of skills for everyone from local motoring club members to
future World Rally Champions, including the likes of Colin McRae. There are 44
miles of scenic rallying over five special stages and, as always, the opportunity to
share your days experiences at the post-rally party. Whats particularly exciting
this year though is the decision to start the rally from Inverness High Street,
something that originally happened back in the 1950s. Up to 130 cars are
expected to take part with departures at one minute intervals from 9am onwards
so head along and be part of the action by waving them on their way.
Full details at snowmanrally.co.uk
On the football front this is potentially the most important part of the season
as teams look to hit the ground running after the winter break and, in the top
flight, try to either make the split or, as looks alarmingly likely in INVERNESS
CALEDONIAN THISTLEs case, try to avoid relegation. This has been a massively
disappointing season for the Inverness team and its frustrating to see how all
the momentum and potential garnered from recent seasons, particularly the
cup win, hasnt been capitalised on. This month they play away to Hamilton and
Hearts, with a home game against DUNDEE on 04 FEB, before locking horns at
home against CELTIC on 01 MAR. So far theyve been the only team in the league
to take any points off the runaway leaders, but theyll have to start stringing some
results together if theyre to be remembered as more than a footnote in Celtics
record-breaking season.
ROSS COUNTY have looked rather more assured in the past couple of months
and home games against MOTHERWELL (31 JAN) and ST JOHNSTONE (18 FEB)
give them a good opportunity to aim for a top six place, though tough away fixtures
against Rangers and Aberdeen temper optimism somewhat. Its going to be an
interesting month
FILM
Its that time of year again when the folk of the Highlands wake from winter
lethargy, look disapprovingly in the mirror and decide to make this the year (again)
that they get fit. And theres no better way to do so than by taking up running,
hence the increasing presence of people pounding the city streets in the evenings.
And this month they get the chance to put all those hard yards into action with
a host of running events, the most notable of which is the INVERNESS HALF
MARATHON & 5K FUN RUN [1] on 12 MAR. The junior sibling to the full marathon
later in the year, its an increasingly popular event, beginning in Bught Park
and taking in a scenic route over a relatively manageable distance. If the half
marathon seems too tough though, the accompanying 5K Fun Run is both a good
introduction to the pastime and a gentle way to burn off some calories.
There are two more chances to get a stitch this month courtesy of the NAIRN
10K & FUN RUN on 05 MAR and the NEWTONMORE 10 MILE ROAD RACE on 18
MAR, so theres no excuse for not giving it a go. And at the very least, you should
head along and cheer the competitors.
A word too for the AVIEMORE ADVENTURE FESTIVAL taking place from 0912
MAR and including many outdoor events. See our listings for full details.
A different, if somewhat unsettling take on personal fitness is literally on show
at the IBFA HIGHLANDS & ISLANDS BODYBUILDING COMPETITION [2]
at IRONWORKS on 02 APR, when youll be able to see competitors flexing
muscles and striking poses while bringing to mind the great Clive James
description of Arnold Schwarzenegger as a brown condom full of walnuts.
All this other sporting activity might just take our minds off the woes suffered
by our two Highland SPFL teams, neither of whom are exactly setting the league
alight this season. Indeed, for ICT the situation is now officially perilous, although
theyll be hoping to consolidate their record as the only team to take points off
the Celtic juggernaut this season when they meet the Bhoys on 01 MAR, hot
on the heels of being walloped in the Cup by them in February. ROSS COUNTY
are doing marginally better, but are equally unpredictable from game to game,
meaning the latest El Kessocko between them and ICT on 18 MAR in Inverness
might just be your proverbial six pointer.
AVIEMORE ADVENTURE
Cairngorm Mountain. Ski race. Rugby FESTIVAL @ Aviemore - Various.
As Thu 09 Mar. CURLING IMPROVERS
HRFC V LIVINGSTON, 3pm SESSIONS @ Inverness Ice
SCOTTISH FREEDOM
SERIES - NEVIS CORRIE Centre, As Tue 07 Mar.
CHALLENGE @ Nevis Range. SUN 05 MAR SUN 12 MAR
SAT 25 MAR
SPECIALS
Football Football
WINTER LEG STRETCHER, AVIEMORE ADVENTURE INVERNESS CT V ROSS C, 3pm ICT V KILMARNOCK, 3pm
ORMOND CASTLE WALK FESTIVAL @ Aviemore - Various. LOSSIE V NAIRN C, 3pm FORRES MS V LOSSIE, 3pm
@ Avoch, 1.30pm. Booking As Thu 09 Mar. CLACH V BRORA RS, 3pm NAIRN C V HUNTLY, 3pm
required, email: marcia. SSPEY T V INV LOCO, 3pm
rae2@highland.gov.uk SAT 11 MAR SUN 02 APR
SCOTTISH PARK & PIPE SUN 19 MAR IBFA HIGHLANDS &
SAT 04 MAR SLOPESTYLE OPEN @ HAUGHS OF CROMDALE 10K ISLANDS BODYBUILDING
Football Cairngorm Mountain. ROAD RACE @ Cromdale Hall. COMPETITION 2017 @
SSPEY THISTL V HUNTLY, 3pm More info 01479 873488 The Ironworks, 12 noon
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34
Playing The Jokers
Its almost spring, when every comedians fancy turns to the prospect of the
Edinburgh Fringe. At least that used to be the case, but these days the majority
of them seem to be permanently on tour. And, as weve regularly noted, more and
more of them are including dates up here in their trawls around the country.
PHIL KAY [1], who plays EDEN COURT on 31 MAR admittedly doesnt have to come
far, being a Highland resident and one whose shows are always a delight, whether
aimed at adults or children. This is one of his grown up ones and gives us another
chance to witness a man with a kaleidoscopic mind and heaps of deceptively
profound observations. Previous shows have ended with taking audiences
walkabout into the small hours, so be ready for anythingand refer to our cover.
SEAN LOCK [2] is equally masterful at the art of stand-up and while he often
seems to be coasting on TV shows like 8 Out Of Ten Cats, its live performances
that show him at his best. His Keep It Light show at EDEN COURT on 15 MAR
should show him navigating the tricky line between bad taste and comic genius like
a particularly agile cat on your back fence.
All that comedy doesnt leave much space to tell you about the fine drama coming
our way this month, but a quartet of shows at EDEN COURT are well worth your
attention: DARE DEVIL RIDES TO JARAMA [5] (05 MAR) looks at the International
Brigade in the Spanish Civil War through the ill-fated eyes of a famous speedway
star and a renowned poet and philosopher who became friends as members of a
British Battalions machine-gun company; THE RED CHAIR [6] (06 MAR) is SARAH
CAMERONs surreal, absurdist, solo take on folklore, fairytales and parenting;
IF I HAD A GIRL (14 MAR) is a startling examination of honour-based violence
in Scotlands ethnic minority communities, and FASLANE [7] (20 MAR) finds the
personal and political colliding in JENNA WATTs show about the divisive naval base.
Some good locally produced shows this month too, notably OLIVER! (ELGIN TOWN
HALL, 09/11 MAR), 95; THE MUSICAL (EC, 22-25 MAR) and PLAN Bs latest
dance production CITIZENS (ARDROSS COMMUNITY HALL, 11 MAR). More about
these in the listings >>>>>
>
CABARET More >
THEATREDANCE
COMEDY >
features and
>
events at:
DRAMA MUSICALS MORE>
whatsonhighlands.com
> 35
n ice show b eyond imagination...
A
As flashy as Las Vegas... Amazing somersaults, leaps and jumps...
The Times
A complete theatrical experience...
Jaw dropping...
With the finale, Festival of Life,
Truly dazzling... looking to the future, the audience were
Surely sets a new benchmark exhilarated into a deserved standing ovation...
for both ice dancing and circus... I-Skate Magazine
The Stage
Opening night offer and family ticket offer call box office or book online:
ART
in his brand new show.
Court, 7.30pm. BEHIND THE MIC @ Eden
Court, 8pm. Grant Stotts Tales ROB ROUSE : ARE YOU
from Behind the Mic promises SITTING COMFORTABLY SPRING INTO EDEN @
SCOTTISH OPERA HIGHLIGHTS Eden Court, 2pm.
@ Nairn CC, 7.30pm. Music to lift the lid on the last 26 @ Eden Court, 7.30pm.
nairn performance. years from the moment
musicnairn.org.uk he left the police and began MON 20 MAR FRI 31 MAR
work as a DJ at Radio Forth. ECYC & GAELIC YOUTH PHIL KAY @ Eden Court, 8pm.
WED 01 MAR DANZA CONTEMPORNEA DE
THEATRE PERFORMANCE Phil launched his stand-
up comedy career with
FILM
WEEKLY SOCIAL DANCE @ Eden Court, 7pm. A
CUBA @ Eden Court, 7.30pm. bi-lingual double bill as Eden a bang in 1989, quickly
CLUB @ Smithton Primary Danza Contempornea de garnering a host of awards.
School, 7.45pm. Every Wed. Court Young Company and
Cuba was founded in 1959 and Sgioba Drma igridh Inbhir His stand up is comedys
has since become the nations Nis perform Extremism answer to spontaneous
THE END OF THINGS @ flagship contemporary dance human combustion a
UHall, Findhorn, 7.30pm. by Anders Lustgarten.
troupe with a hybrid, hothouse rare, explosive and always
Company of Wolves fourth style that is a pungent blend surprising phenomenon
original performance is a FASLANE @ Eden Court,
of Afro Caribbean rhythms, 7.30pm. Jenna Watt dont take our word for it,
journey to the heart of letting jazzy American modernism come and see for yourself.
discovers what happens
KIDS
go. Infused with joy, pain, and inflections from European when the personal and
and breathtaking beauty, The
End of Things is a journey
ballet. Danza Contemporanea
de Cuba have consistently
political collide in this multi
awardwinning show about
SAT 01 APR
to the heart of letting go. produced dancers of the CITIZEN @ Ardross Comm
the UKs nuclear deterrent. Hall, 8pm. Contemporary
highest level with a style
THU 02 MAR evoking the sensual, mystical
and raw heart of Cuban spirit. WED 22 MAR
dance by plan B. A darkly
humorous look at how we
SCOTTISH OPERA LETTERS TO MYSELF @ Eden bring our identity with us
HIGHLIGHTS @ Ardross Comm Court, 8pm. Created from wherever we go. People
MUSIC
Hall, 7.30pm. As Sat 25 Feb. letters written by real people, leave places, sometimes by
Letters to Myself is a heart- choice, sometimes because
warming and humorous look at they have to. CITIZEN takes
the best advice we never had. us on the journey so many
Taking a trip down memory immigrants have made.
lane it is a recognition of our planbcreative.org
shared regret and a celebration
OLIVER @ Elgin Town Hall, of our daily triumphs.
SPECIALS
7.30pm. As Thu 09 Mar.
9 TO 5 THE MUSICAL @ Eden
SUN 05 MAR SAT 11 MAR Court, 7.30pm. Following on
from their brilliant productions
DARE DEVIL RIDES TO OLIVER @ Elgin Town Hall,
JARAMA @ Eden Court, of Calamity Jane and Me and
2pm, 7.30pm. As Thu 09 Mar. My Girl, Inverness Musical
8pm. This play centres
Theatre promise to delight
on the contrasting lives of
International Brigadiers Clem SUN 12 MAR once more with the upbeat JANE EYRE: AN
Beckett and Christopher LARRY DEAN: FARCISSIST @ and high energy 9 to 5 The AUTOBIOGRAPHY @ Eden
SPORT
Caudwell. Beckett, famous Eden Court, 8pm. Edinburgh Musical! Based on the hit Court, 7.30pm. Struggling to
star of the speedway track Fringe - Award-winning show. movie starring Dolly Parton think, live and love beyond
and Caudwell, a renowned Off the back of a break-up and set in the 1970s, the plot the stifling expectations of
writer, poet and philosopher, and facing the introspection centres around three unlikely duty, class and convention,
were killed together at Jarama that such a change brings, female friends who, when governess Jane Eyre and
in February 1937, having gallus Glaswegian Larry Dean pushed to boiling point by their Master Edward Rochester
become friends as members is beginning to think about sexist, egotistical, lying boss, take a dark journey
of the British Battalions what it means to be him. devise a plan to get even. towards sensual and
machine-gun company. intellectual liberation.
THU 23 MAR THEATRE
MON 06 MAR 9 TO 5 THE MUSICAL @
Eden Court, As Wed 22 Mar.
SUN 02 APR
THE RED CHAIR @ HORSE MCDONALD IN
Eden Court, 7.30pm. A CAREFUL @ Eden Court,
contemporary take on folk and FRI 24 MAR 7.30pm. Horse McDonald
takes us on a journey from
fairytale storytelling traditions, 9 TO 5 THE MUSICAL @
Sarah Camerons towering Eden Court, As Wed 22 Mar. kelpie in the Brownies
solo performance is a surreal TUE 14 MAR to one of Scotlands
ballad populated with larger
than life characters. Told in a
IF I HAD A GIRL @ SAT 25 MAR most celebrated singers,
through those times when
Eden Court, 7.30pm. A SPRING INTO EDEN @ Eden she had to be Careful.
rich and saucy Scots dialect
LIFESTYLE SPILL
37
Elgin Musical Theatre. Sean Lock writes and tours a LANDLORD @ Eden Court, TO MORRISSEY @
new stand-up show. Well hes The Pub Landlord embarks Eden Court, 8pm.
2 for 1
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Last month we ate like kings at the keen to compliment the standards of national dish had been explored, heres
splendid Culloden House Hotel, service and hospitality. Breakfast, tea a new one and it works surprisingly
Bonnie PCs apparent safe haven and an all-day menu are served, but we well, the spicy batter, though a tad
prior to his adventure up at the local decide to visit in the evening to sample soggy, a fine counterpoint to the haggis
tourist visitor centre, this time round the more extensive dinner menu. inside. If you know anyone wary of
were at another tourist hotspot, the trying the bold symphony of offal, this
charming town of Beauly, a place that First impressions are good as were
is a great gateway.
might, unless the story is apocryphal, given a table in a large, modern
take its name from Mary Queen of dining area that even at 5pm is far
Scots remarking on visiting the towns from empty. For a change this month, My pal has Duo Of Melon, an old-
priory, cest un beau lieu. the we includes not just me and school starter brought up to date by
my regular dining pal, but also a the two varieties, Cantaloupe and
Its that building which gives the nearby third party, who we shall call Mrs X. Honeydew being accompanied by
Priory Hotel its name and while there Because thats her name. a green apple sorbet. Pretty much
are a number of other food options on impossible to go wrong with such a
the bustling village square including The menu were given confuses combination and its presented rather
the highly regarded Friary Chip Shop, us a little, being slightly different nicely too.
the Corner on the Square Bistro, the from the one displayed outside, but
Shimla Indian Restaurant and just there are plenty of options, meaning Mrs X goes for another familiar
round the corner a Chinese takeaway, you can tuck into anything from a favourite, Wedges Of Brie and again
the hotel and bar at the rear seems to simple burger to something more
theres little to complain about, the
be the de facto heart of the town. determinedly haute cuisine.
gooey deep-fried cheese served
Long established as a favourite place My starter turns out to be one of the alongside a pot of Cumberland Sauce,
for anyone visiting the area to stay, most successful elements of our that jammy confection named after
the hotel, though a handsome old whole experience, Haggis Pakora, with the last Hanoverian prince to hold
building, has a thoroughly modern a gluten-free batter, sweet chilli sauce a British royal title (he lost his
interior and a healthy turnover of
guests, most of whom are only too
and mixed micro herbs. Just when peerages owing to siding with
you thought all the ways of serving our Germany in WW1). Which is nice. 39
Whilst the starters are solidly good cream on top is rather excellent.
(if a touch safe), our mains provide
something more of a mixed bag on My pal hits paydirt with a thick,
this occasion. The meat component delicious Cheesecake. A stand-
of my Slow Cooked Leg of Lamb alone square creation, its flecked
is, to be fair, absolutely everything with crunchy textures that could
youd hope it to bemeltingly soft possibly be honeycomb and topped
and deeply flavouredbut the with a delicious caramel sauce. Best
accompanying rosemary and port of all, its accompanied by a dinky,
gravy is gloopy and somewhat bitter. bite-sized chocolate tart topped
Wholegrain mustard mash and dull with raspberries. The most elegant
veg pad things out, but theres not looking dish of the whole meal.
nearly enough panache to the dish to
justify charging 16.95 for it. Nothing elegant about the appearance
of Mrs Xs Sherry Trifle, which is
It being World Pizza Day, my wingman simply a bowlful scooped from a
is persuaded to try something from larger one somewhere in the kitchen,
the Priorys range, but his Vegetarian thus relying on taste rather than any
Pizza turns out to flatter to deceive. visual impact. However, what it lacks
Available at much more reasonable in visial finesse it certainly makes up
8.50, it certainly cuts an impressive for in taste and, in these days when
figurecheese, peppers and black indulgence is so often denied, it
olives galore, served on a large doesnt skimp on cream or custard.
wooden board with a special cutter. Theres a good glug of sherry too,
Sadly the the taste doesnt really resulting in something that she says
match the presentation. You certainly is even nicer than the one her mum
wont go home hungry, but the overall makes. Quite a compliment.
feel is closer to a jazzed up frozen
pizza than the excellent freshly baked Its a nice end to the meal, but not
ones weve come to expect since the quite enough to erase the memory
arrival of the likes of Zizzis and the of the somewhat hit-and-miss main
Black Isle Brewery to the Highlands. courses. The place is obviously
popular with punters and perhaps
Mrs X, possessed by the spirit of it would have been better for us to
Mexico, orders Chicken Fajitas have gone for simpler choices like
and we eagerly await the arrival of the Bumper Burger or Deep Fried
the traditional sizzling plate of meat Haddock (from the Old Favourites
and peppers. What actually arrives menu). Or to have merely popped in
is warm, dry bird in a bowl, a most for tea and cakes. It is, after all, a
peculiar salsa/guacamole (literal) fine space, with friendly staffset in
mash-up, sour cream and a couple a pretty Highland town with that royal
of cold tortillas. The plate being seal of approval
too small to actually construct the
finished dish, after one aborted Price for 2: 50.25 (exc. drinks & guest)
attempt she just picks at each
ingredient separately. And her life is ICA RATING
none the richer. 1: Exterior/Location ..................... 8
2: Interior/Atmosphere................. 8
However, things do buck up again with 3: StaffAppearance .................... 8
desserts. Theres an appealing array of 4: StaffHelpfulness .................... 8
cakes and meringues on a side table, 5: Speed Of Service ..................... 8
suggesting afternoon tea here might 6: FoodPresentation ................... 7
be a bit of a winner. And the puddings 7: FoodQuality............................ 6
themselves are appetising, though 8: FoodValue .............................. 6
my Belgian Waffle has a dispiriting 9: MenuRange/Balance/Clarity ... 6
toughness that might suggest 10: ToiletsAppearance/Cleanliness .... 9
Stage 1 >
Stage 2 >
Stage 3 >
Stage 3 >
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