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Black Zodiac: all the horrors of the 12 zodiacal signs

Transits and Ephemerides


Sat 15 April, 07:30 PM UT
WARNING: whereas all
Astrotheme's articles are "serious",
Sun 2601' Aries
the following articles, more or less
Moon 1622' Sagittarius
Mercury 310' Taurus horrifying or humorous, claim to be
Venus 2655' Pisces non-realistic, even though it is likely
Mars 2606' Taurus that readers will find a few annoying
Jupiter 1715' Libra traits associated with their sign or
Saturn 2743' Sagittarius
Uranus 2433' Aries
Ascendant, of course, caricatured
Neptune 1317' Pisces and purposely exaggerated. It is
Pluto 1924' Capricorn obvious that our aim is not to Astro Shop
Chiron 2633' Pisces underline assets or qualities, by no
True Node 143' Virgo Portraits & Compatibility
means. We trust that you
True Lilith 1156' Sagittarius
understand and enjoy our sense of Astrological Portrait
humour! Career and Vocation Report
Standard Compatibility Report
We want to remind you that no one Global Compatibility Report
matches the " pure " description of a
sign. For instance, to be Aries only Detailed Astrology Forecasts
means to have the Sun in the sign of Aries. As we all know, the Sun - the major Detailed April Forecast
element of a natal chart, along with the Ascendant - represents a fourth or a third of Detailed May Forecast
the personality, seldom more, depending on the general configuration of the natal Detailed Spring Forecast
chart. The Ascendant - the appearance - is not more important than the Sun, even Detailed 12 Month Forecast
though it is what is more visible for people who don't know you very well. Therefore,
we recommend that you put our caricatures into perspective. Astrology Forecasts
12 Month Forecast
And also... Do not pass them on to your close friends because we don't want to be Solar Revolution
responsible for any ensuing dissension! We would like to apologize in advance for any Grand Horoscope 2018 to 2020
Moon Phase offence you might take from our caustic descriptions.
Waning Moon, 81.85%
Horary Astrology
Waning Gibbous Should you want to know which signs are highlighted in your natal chart, and which Question on Romance
Wed 26 Apr 12:18 PM UT planets are dominant, for instance if you are a Solarian, noble and proud, or a Question on Marriage
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Celebrity Search communication, a Venusian, charming and constantly seeking seduction, a Martian, Question on Finances
active, keen on competition and combative, a Jupiterian, philosophic, a traveller and a
Astrological Calendars
leader to the core, a Saturnian, focused, serious, deep and introverted, a Uranian, a
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freedom-lover, adamant about independence and originality, unable to submit to
constraints, a Neptunian, mystical, hyper-sensitive and absorbing collective trends and Love Calendar for 4 Weeks
Free Astrology atmospheres as if he were a sponge, or a Plutonian, domineering and secret,
instinctively willing to exert his potency on his interlocutor. You may also be interested
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Your Daily Horoscope Earth, or Air. You will find all that, and much more, when you order the famous
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Astrology and Personality It also provides you with the interpretation of your dominants and your planetary
Horoscope, Sign, and Ascendant repartitions, in addition to your psychological analysis and your karmic report.
The Essence and the Bark
Free Astrological Atlas Now, we suggest that you read the following articles only if you are in an extremely
Find Your Dominant Element good mood...
The 360 Symbolic Degrees
Chinese Astrology: Your Sign Horrors with Aries in Black Zodiac!
Astrology and Compatibility
Calculate Your Love Affinity
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Astrology and Celebrities

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Horrors with Aries in Black Zodiac!
Suggest a Celebrity
Astro Search Tools
You are nothing but a primate. You charge headlong like a brute and you don't have a
By Astrological Aspects
clue what subtlety could mean. Moreover, you are a public danger because you are
By Astrological Positions
aggressive and totally unconscious, not to mention your excessive naivety, and your
By Categories and Birth Data
simplistic and rough vision of things. The virtues of persistence seem to be totally
By Date of Birth
unknown to you, which would boil down to a blunt: " The hell with the consequences! ".
By Birthday (52,257) In short, people only see in you some sort of rabid and quite simple-minded beast. To
By Favourites speak the truth, there is not much to add, for your nature is devoid of any interesting
By Height (22,917) complexity.
Informations and Data
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Celebrities by Horrors with Taurus in Black Zodiac!
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Celebrities: Monthly History
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ABCDEFGHI J
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The Basics of Astrology

The Usefulness of Astrology


The 12 Zodiacal Signs
The 12 Astrological Houses
The Planets and Asteroids
Elements Quadruplicities
Horrors with Taurus in Black Zodiac!
Polarities
Planetary Rulerships and
Dignities Your heaviness is matched only by your legendary slowness. Let's not forget that you
are as stubborn as a mule. However, isn't it said that "only idiots don't change their
Planetary Dominants in Astrology
minds"? You are a fat materialist and you can't see further than the end of your nose.
Astrological Aspects and Orb
You are greedy for profit, hence your possessive and even stingy side. "Let's live to eat
Astrology: Composed Aspects
and let's not eat to live" could well be your motto. Intellectual and abstract matters
Astrology: Planetary Patterns
are well beyond you, since you are coarsely down to earth and simple. Lastly, you
Unaspected Planets in Astrology have no interest other than food and comfort, just like an animal that pigs out, and
Astrology: Planets Distribution that is unable to think of anything else.
Astrology: Predictive Methods
Couple's Compatibility: Synastry
The Arabian Parts Horrors with Gemini in Black Zodiac!
The 360 Symbolic Degrees

Astrology Files

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Astrology and Celebrities


Emma Watson
Peter Dinklage
Casey Affleck
M. Cotillard - G. Canet
Isabelle Huppert
Sting
Ellen Pompeo
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Astrology and Lifestyle
The Zodiac celebrates Easter
The Zodiac and Politics
The Zodiac and Luxury
The Zodiac and Museums
The Zodiac and Family Bonds
Zodiacal Extracurricular Tastes
The Zodiac in the Countryside
Horrors with Gemini in Black Zodiac!
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Astrology and Compatibility It is said that you are curious about everything and highly adaptable. Actually, it is a
Astrology and Compatibility lack of profundity and consistency that characterizes you. You are absolutely unable to
Affinities of Famous Couples focus on anything, and your intellectual process is very superficial. Everything you say
Compatibility with Aries is totally uninteresting. It's just hot air in any case. You don't believe a single word you
Compatibility with Taurus utter, and you forget everything you say a few minutes later. You hop from one subject
Compatibility with Gemini to another to carry out a conversation in order to appear knowledgeable and
Compatibility with Cancer interesting. However, it is quite clear that, under your scholarly veneer, you are a
Compatibility with Leo mediocre and shallow person. You have no emotions and no compassion. You resemble
Compatibility with Virgo an intelligent robot, which repeats what it has been taught, or what it has experienced,
Compatibility with Libra without thinking by itself.
Compatibility with Scorpio
Compatibility with Sagittarius Horrors with Cancer in Black Zodiac!
Compatibility with Capricorn
Compatibility with Aquarius
Compatibility with Pisces
Astrology and Characterology
Astrology and Personality
Planetary Dominants: Method
Astrology: Fixed Stars
Astrology: Venus Retrograde
Black Zodiac: Humour
Pluto: Eros and Thanatos
Neptune: Inspiration and Illusion
Uranus: Bolts from the Blue!
Saturn: your Part of Seriousness
Jupiter: your Heaven-sent Gift!
Mars: What makes you tick?
Venus: the Way You Love 1/2
+ Show all files
Miscellaneous Files
History of Astrology Horrors with Cancer in Black Zodiac!
Does Astrology Work?
Is Pluto not a Planet anymore? The big beloved Mummy's baby! This is something you have probably heard very often
Gregorian & Julian Calendars when people would refer to you. Your hyper-sensitivity is very irritating because
people can never tell you what they really think of you without having you sobbing
your heart out. Indeed, you have no control over your emotions, and your entourage,
as well as yourself, find it very difficult to put up with your moods. Your mental age is
eight years and you still live in a stage of childhood. Actually, you live more in your
head than in the real life. You cannot confront the world and you vegetate in your snug
and warm little universe. Your memory is far too good, and you are unable to get rid
of your depressing nostalgia. In brief, you are a faint-hearted, passive, psychotic and
selfish little thing.

Horrors with Leo in Black Zodiac!

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Horrors with Leo in Black Zodiac!

Watch out! Expect no praise, you who are so self-centered and so full of yourself! Being
a Leo is far from flattering, contrary to what you might think. Besides, you are
convinced that you are an exceptional person, whilst you are appallingly ridiculous
because it is clear to everyone that you try hard to appear a much better person than
what you really are. Actually, you have a huge inferiority complex. You live only
through other people because, deep down, you know that you are not worth much.
You throw compliments at yourself, and then you don't understand why others remain
sceptical in your face. Of course, you also behave like a little tyrant vis--vis your
court of hypocrites without realizing that their flatteries totally lack sincerity. Clear-
sightedness is not among your qualities, should you have any. You behave like a
spoiled brat, despotic, self-absorbed, and bossy.

Horrors with Virgo in Black Zodiac!

Horrors with Virgo in Black Zodiac!

You have so many flaws that it is very easy to enumerate them. For instance, you are
well known for your inferiority complex (which is not only a complex, but tangible
truth, as you know; besides, you must be given credit for your lucidity). Your entire life
is limited to being a servant, a right-hand person, in brief, a doormat with no sense of
self-value. Let's add that you are uptight and that you control yourself to death
because you loathe anything that might upset your petty dull life. Your obsession with
tidiness and details is bordering on mania, and even on neurosis, which is quite
frightening to witness. Your room must always be in perfect order, to the extent that
one becomes uncomfortable and anxious. These two last traits are also parts of your
character, which you are perfectly aware of. Is it really necessary to carry on? Better
not, lest you end up as some sort of unchecked psychopath (the mad Virgin, you
know!), which is something you wouldn't want, not at any price, would you? Finally,

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you always go from one extreme to another, and that's the last straw!

Horrors with Libra in Black Zodiac!

Horrors with Libra in Black Zodiac!

Since it is the symbol of Libra, the very word "Balance" makes you feel sorry to be
born under this sign. Having an ordinary object to represent your sign must not feel
too flattering, indeed. In addition, you don't know how to assert yourself. Because
solitude is your phobia, you line up with people who are the strongest ones since you
are convinced that they will not let you down. You don't really have a private life. You
live for others and according to what they think of you. You strive to please, which
implies that you are hypocritical and hesitant about everything you say... You probably
constantly feel that you are on the razor's edge: not a single word missing, or in
excess, not a single mistake. Otherwise war will break out, and this... No need to add
more! Your self-proclaimed artistic bent is nothing but vapidity and mawkishness. In
truth, you are too intellectual and cold. A calculator with a charming smile is the
description that fits you best.

Horrors with Scorpio in Black Zodiac!

Horrors with Scorpio in Black Zodiac!

There is little that could be added to your bad reputation. However, we believe it
interesting to twist the knife still deeper. You are a sly, inquisitive and aggressive
person. Strangely enough, you remind of scorpions (no pun intended!), but also of
sewer rats, perverse, petty and frightening. You revel in other people's sufferings, so
please don't purport that it is because you want to help them transcend their ordeals
and know themselves better, because we know very well that your evil and cunning

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nature enjoys attracting attention and stirring up ill-feeling. You are believed to have
an intense sexual energy. However, it has more to do with a regrettable tendency to
release your impulses, since you are unable to control them. You also cultivate a high
opinion of yourself, and to make yourself interesting, you play the mysterious and
rebellious personage. Nevertheless, it is obvious that you feel unloved, which drives
you almost paranoid. You see evil everywhere, and to protect yourself against it, like a
spider setting its cobwebs, you keep on manipulating everyone in your entourage (you
should admit that it is awfully difficult for you afterwards to get out of the mess you
have created).

Horrors with Sagittarius in Black Zodiac!

Horrors with Sagittarius in Black Zodiac!

Don't think that your good reputation will prevent us from making a complete list of
your numerous flaws! Firstly, you claim to be a philosopher endowed with
open-mindedness. Actually, it is only a way to escape everyday realities that you find
boring. It is more accurate to say that you have no inner life. Your interest in culture
and spirituality is nothing but an interest, as we have mentioned already! Indeed, you
have no reflection of your own. You stupidly repeat what you have read or heard, and
you proudly think that you can appear to be a wise person who has an immense
knowledge of the world. In addition, you never go very deep, and while you boastfully
display your knowledge, you show no critical or analytical mind. You are a real drought
and you are restless, which translates into irritating fickleness, lack of stability, and no
sense of commitment or loyalty... Lastly, you are unable to fulfil your promises. You
exaggerate everything in order to impress your entourage (yes, you are proud,
definitely), and you don't have a clue what the word "tact" means. Many among you
are just big petty-bourgeois...

Horrors with Capricorn in Black Zodiac!

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Horrors with Capricorn in Black Zodiac!

We feel like summing your character as follows: you are a little snitch! Indeed, you do
everything you can in order to go unnoticed, and your lack of self-confidence is just
sickening. You are baleful, as pleasant as a warder, as dumb as a tomb, as cold as a
corpse and as rigid as a skeleton. As if you wanted to make up for your flaws, you try
to use humour, or rather some kind of pathetic and deadpan self-mockery, but you
don't convince anybody, not even yourself. Besides, is there anything in which you
believe? Your career? Well, yes. You are a social climber, an ambitious person, in brief,
a shark. Your burning desire to succeed and to crush your victims in your way indicates
that you are very patient and calculating. Since you plan for the longer-term, you
forget to live in the present. You are entirely focused on yourself and on your work (so,
you are selfish in addition), and you don't know what it is like to have fun. Indeed, you
are never caught clowning around because it would be incongruous from your part. In
short, you are boring to death, and on top of that, pessimistic... No, don't shoot
yourself because, as incredible as it may seem, there may be some people who love
you!

Horrors with Aquarius in Black Zodiac!

Horrors with Aquarius in Black Zodiac!

You try to look like an eccentric and rebellious person, some sort of prophet who would
offer "the" truth. Actually, you so completely lack profundity that you do everything
you can in order to compensate this flaw. You are deeply aware of the fact that you are
only one sheep among many others, but you just can't accept this idea! Therefore, you
desperately strive to stand out of the crowd, and you display your nonconformism, but
sometimes the situation gets out of control, and you become a misfit, totally
maladjusted to your environment. So, don't complain that no one wants to be your
friend! To you, friendship is a sacred value, but have you got an idea of what it actually

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is? You are so deeply detached and impersonal (and yes, your apparent eccentricity
compensates this) because you are too cerebral and you steer clear of intimate
relationships and personal secrets. It is even worse when it comes to love
relationships! Your chronic independence would hurt a great many partners... You
claim to be generous and altruistic, but don't you think that these values don't belong
to theories and should spring from the heart? Stop believing that you are an inventive
genius in the vanguard because otherwise, one of these days, you will end up in a
psychiatric hospital...

Horrors with Pisces in Black Zodiac!

Horrors with Pisces in Black Zodiac!

Fog, doldrums, chaos these are the words which describe you best. Clarity, sharpness
and common sense are not your assets You are like a jellyfish in the sea, and you let
the tide carry you without your knowing where to, how, and why. Besides, you couldn't
care less, could you? Indifference is also one of your characteristics. You don't know
exactly what you think, or who you are. Under such circumstances, it is obvious that it
is difficult for you to remain true to yourself, which translates into instability,
unfaithfulness (you are never certain that you really love a person) and opportunism.
You revel in psychodramas and you master the art of shady mix-up, as well as
delirious mythomania. Your sentimentality makes life complicated for you. It is like a
roller coaster ride, now going into a mystical trance, now falling into the most severe
depression. Your apparent softness and generosity conceal your lack of firmness as
well as the fact that you've got no backbone. You don't know how to say no, and
because you are a sucker, you get lumbered with all the underdogs, with whom no one
wants to deal. Needless to say that you lack willpower and that you are anything but
the sporty type!

And once more...


Please do not pass these caricatures on to your close friends because we don't want to
be responsible for any ensuing dissension! We would like to apologize in advance for
any offence you might take from our caustic descriptions.

Aries Taurus Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo Libra Scorpio Sagittarius Capricorn Aquarius Pisces

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