Th e Last Week of Cam p: A M em o
Peter Tr avis
Volu m e 48 | Issu e 16 |
Weds, 8/ 16/ 17
Wou l d You Rat h er
By AnoNYm OuS777 (Ben Cr able)
Author ?s Note: This is possibly the fir st
?Would you Rather ? ar ticle in the daily double, I
think? I don?t know , since w e have ar ticles that go
as far back as ?91. But anyw ay this is the fir st one
this year , so I am or iginal (if som eone says
other w ise they ar e fake new s).
Would You Rather:
A: Eat a plum for 40 year s
B: Eat nothing for 40 year s
Would You Rather:
A: Have ar m s gr ow out of your ear s
B: Have 4 legs
Would You Rather:
A: Sum m on a Dem on
B: Becom e a vegan
Would You Rather:
A: Live safely under gr ound after Aar on star ts a
nuclear w ar and destr oyed the entir e tow n
B: Live above gr ound fighting to sur vive
Would You Rather:
A: Tur n slow ly into a fish
B: Talk to Walker about his childhood exper iences
If you got m ostly A?s then you ar e a nor m al kid.
Nothing is w r ong w ith w hat you chose (unless you
chose B)
If you chose m ostly B?s then you ar e not? ver y
nor m al. W ho w ould w ant to talk to Walker about
his childhood?
In the final days of cam p, people tend to get
ner vous about festival day and per for m ing on
stage. If I w er e to give advice, it w ould be this:
soak in all the m em or ies about this cam p, because
w e?ll have to w ait another year to com e back her e.
Cher ish all of your per for m ances and videos, and
keep the cam p spir it in your hear t w hen you go
back to school.
This cam p w ill be her e until the end of
tim e, so don?t w or r y about the end of the cam p, as
ther e w ill alw ays be another year to com e back
and per for m again.
I hope that ever yone has a gr eat tim e
Satur day, and I hope to see you all next year.
:( Cam p i s Al m ost Over !
By Kalie
Ther e ar e only 2 m or e days of cam p left,
and Fr iday isn?t even a full day! I?m so sad that
cam p w ill be ending. But on the br ight side, school
w ill be star ting soon! If you ar e sad about cam p
ending, then tr y to enjoy it! :P Have fun!
Al t er n at e Ways t o ?Ex pr ess You r Feel i n gs of
An ger or Di sappoi n t m en t ? i n t h e Dai l y Dou bl e
r oom
By Tillie Slosser
Well, if you hang out in the Daily Double r oom at
all, or w ith Walker , you m ay know that he doesn?t
like people sw ear ing. I don?t disagr ee w ith him ,
this is a cam p w ith young childr en, so sw ear ing in
their pr esence m ay not be so gr eat. But
som etim es, you just w ant to say som ething you
shouldn?t. So her e ar e som e alter nate options:
1. Dippin?Dots!
2. Gosh diddly dar n it!
3. Go scoop som e m ulch!
4. W hack-a-dack!
5. * m utter s* som ebody once told m e the w or ld
w as gonna? .
6. Zooter kins!
7. Diggity-dagnabit
8. Wall plaster.
9. Death's head on a m op stick!
10. You ninnyham m er !
Or , if you don?t think that you can m anage to not
sw ear , you should just w alker aw ay.
An ot h er st or y abou t m y dog I s Tr u m p Rel at ed t o Ru ssi a, or I s I t a Di f f er en t
By Kylie O?Hear n St or y?
By Ciar an M ur phy
Once (this m or ning) my dog, M ochi
figur ed out how to open the gate to upstair s. In M ar ch 2016, days after Tr um p appointed his
At 6:00 she som etim es pushes open my door for eign policy team , tons of the team m em ber s
and jum ps on my bed. Today, she pushed sent an em ail w ith the subject: ?M eeting w ith
open the gate w hen I w as the only one aw ake Russian leader ship -- including Putin? to 7
(except for my dad w ho had alr eady left for cam paign officials. In the m onths leading up to
w or k). M ochi tr ied to com e in my r oom . I the election, aide, Geor ge Papadopoulos,
hear d her tr ying to push my door open. Then announced 7 r equests fr om people claim ing to be
she poked her head into my r oom . I told her connected to the gover nm ent. Of cour se,
to go into my sister ?s r oom . I lead M ochi to ever yone could say that the people w er e not
my sister ?s r oom . She r an in. M y sister w as Russian officials. I can see that. After Tr um p had
still asleep! Her bed is ver y low to the w on the election (inser t poop em oji her e), he
gr ound. It is at M ochi?s head level. M ochi r an contr over sially fir ed FBI dir ector Jam es Com ey as
tow ar ds my sister ?s bed. She star ted to lick a r esult of his handling the Clinton em ail scandal,
her face!! M y sister said ?StOpPP!!!? and but w as it a m ask on a differ ent stor y? Com ey
tur ned ar ound to sleep. Then I let M ochi claim ed in a senate hear ing after he w as fir ed
com e in my r oom to play. that Pr esident Tr um p had attem pted to obstr uct
justice, as he claim s that Tr um p pr essur ed him to
have ?loyalty? in the M ichael Flynn case. and has
Hi st or y r ecor ded that in m em os, but as Tr um p claim ed
Lleyton W. that he had not taped the m eeting. But as Tr um p
w as ?scr am bling? to br ing a new FBI Dir ector , but
New idea! Go thr ough the entir e 20th centur y w as it just a plot to slow dow n the FBI in the
ter r itor ial changes in Eur ope w ith NEARLY Russia investigation? You see, w ithout a dir ector ,
the utm ost sim plicity, pr obably because the FBI is less potent w ith investigating, because
that?s the easiest place to star t. I don?t know they need to find a inter im dir ector. Tr um p knew
any r eason w hy, but this should w or k . this (Wow , he know s som ething!?), and he is
Should. Also fr ee histor y lesson, you better using it to his advantage for getting m or e tim e to
ace your histor y final in school next year. change the US pr esidency law s.
So, the ear ly 1900s star t out w ith the
Ger m an Em pir e (for m er ly Pr ussia) and Source: Washington Post, NY Times
Austr ia-Hungar y. Stuff happens (detail is
over r ated), and the em pir e of Austr ia
Hungar y collapses, Ger m any loses land,
m ainly to the east, and is str apped for cash
due to having to adm it fault for the w ar.
Com m unist r evolution in Russia, Gr eat
Depr ession, etc etc. Wor ld w ar tw o star ts
because of this, m or e ter r itor ial changes, loss
of even m or e easter n land to Poland, Soviet
annexation of easter n Poland and
Kaliningr ad (for m er ly par t of East Pr ussia),
split of Ger m any into tw o countr ies, and
com m unist gover nm ents set up in easter n
Eur ope. Star t of the cold w ar. The Yugoslavia
br eaks up into the countr ies of Ser bia,
Cr oatia, FYROM (For m er Yugoslav Republic
Of M acedonia), Bosnia, and Slovenia. Kosovo
and M ontenegr o w ould later split off of
Ser bia. Although the Com m unist
gover nm ents slow ly w er e r em oved befor e,
Ger m any w as r eunified in 1990. The USSR
fell the year after.
Pr oof Set 2017 - US M i n t
By Zach Levine
The 2017 U.S. m int pr oof set has 2 cases of
5 coins each; one has special quar ter s, the other
has a penny a nickel a Sacagaw ea dollar , a dim e,
and last but not least a Kennedy half dollar.
The quar ter s:
1. The fir st quar ter is an effigy m ounds quar ter.
Effigy M ounds is in Iow a and Iow a's m otto is ?Our
liber ties w e pr ize and our r ights w e w ill
m aintain.? Effigy M ounds is a m onum ent in Iow a
w her e ther e ar e w eir d m ounds sticking out of the
gr ound in shapes of these anim als: bir ds, bear ,
deer , bison, lynx, tur tle, panther or w ater spir its.
2.The second quar ter is a Fr edr ick Douglas
quar ter. Fr edr ick Douglas w ent fr om being
enslaved to a her o. Fr edr ick douglas w as m ad at
Abr aham Lincoln because he w asn't doing
anything about the big w ar about slaver y going
on.
3. The thir d quar ter is an Ellis Island quar ter.
Ellis Island is an island r ight near the Statue of
Liber ty, it is an im por tant m onum ent because it
w as a m ajor im m igr ation station w hen m illions
of people fr om Eur ope cam e to the USA.
4. Geor ge r oger s clar k quar ter , geor ge r oger s
clar k w as the highest r anking Am er ican m ilitar y
officer on the nor thw ester n fr ontier dur ing the
Am er ican Revolutionar y War.
5. Ozar k River w ays quar ter. Ozar k River w ays is a
national par k cr eated by an act of Congr ess to
pr otect the Cur r ent and Jacks For k r iver s.
The other coins:
1. A dim e, a coin com m em or ating Fr anklin D.
Roosevelt.
2. A penny com m em or ating Abr aham Lincoln for
his 100th bir thday.
3. Sacagaw ea dollar , a coin com m em or ating
Sacagaw ea for w or king w ith the Lew is and Clar k
on their expedition to find the pacific ocean.
4. A Nickel com m em or ating Thom as Jeffer son .
5. The Kennedy half dollar com m em or ates John
F. Kennedy.
All these coins have the U.S. m otto on it - ?E
plur ibus unum ?- w hich in Latin m eans ?out of
m any one?.
https://w w w.google.com /
https://w w w.nps.gov/
https://w w w.liber tyellisfoundation.or g/
https://en.w ikipedia.or g
https://w w w.nps.gov/
http://labs.blogs.com /
Th e M yst er y of t h e Zoo Gr af f i t i Ar t i st
By Jacob Rast
For the past nine nights at the Annie M all and
Zoo Com plex, an elusive gr affiti ar tist has snuck
into the zoo to spr ay a par ticular ly
difficult-to-r em ove br and of gr affiti on an
incr easing num ber of anim als. On the fir st
night, they spr ayed tw o jaguar s. On the second
night, they spr ayed five koalas. Even w hen
secur ity at the zoo w as dr am atically incr eased,
the gr affiti ar tist w as able to spr ay eleven
lobster s. On the four th night, they spr ayed
tw elve m onkeys. The m onkeys w er e fair ly easy
to clean, but it took dozens of hour s to r em ove
the gr affiti fr om the lobster s. On the fifth night,
thir teen new ts w er e spr ayed. At this point the
cr im es had r eceived a gr eat deal of m edia
attention, an one m an claim s to have seen the
culpr it r unning out of the zoo after spr aying
sixteen ostr iches on the sixth night, descr ibing
the culpr it as lean, but disguised w ell w ith a ski
m ask and sunglasses. On the seventh night, the
culpr it star ted leaving taunting notes, w ith the
fir st one r eading ?Ha ha ha, I just spr ayed
tw enty polar bear s! W hat ar e * you* gonna do
about it?? On the eighth night, the culpr it w as
seen r em oving their sunglasses to put on
goggles befor e spr aying tw enty-five quails, and
w as r epor ted to have br ight gr een eyes. On the
ninth night, the culpr it not only spr ayed thir ty
r accoons, but also left behind a note
thr eatening to spr ay an entir e exhibit?s w or th of
anim als on the tenth night. You ar e the zoo?s
chief of secur ity, and you know that you can
catch the culpr it if you can deduce w hich
exhibit he w ill visit tonight. The r em aining
exhibits at the zoo ar e thir ty-one r abbits,
sixty-seven butter flies, seventy-four zebr as,
thir ty-thr ee aar dvar ks, eighty squir r els, ninety
lions, and for ty-thr ee tiger s. W her e w ill the zoo
gr affiti ar tist str ike next?
CRCAP i n t h e f u t u r e Day Th r ee Hai r y M on st er
By Tillie Slosser and Br ian Taliano By Br ooke Car ter

A quick r ecap of Day Tw o: Seth dr ove the Once upon a tim e ther e w as an ant and
Pr od Squad to exhaustion to unconsciousness. The a penguin. They w er e fr iends and one
Pr esident tr ied to sneak into cam p using the day they decided to go to the m all. They
car pool cir cle. Isabella?s w as taken in a battle w e they got eaten by a big hair y m onster.
w er e too lazy to include. Dog and dolphin w er e supposed to m eet
them at the w ater par k, but the m onster
?NOT M Y PRESIDENT! NOT M Y PRESIDENT!? show ed up instead. Dog and dolphin
Social pr otest Stor ytelling, having snuck out of called for them and Ant and Penguin
cam p, w as now on the tow n hall law n, pr otesting, called back fr om inside the m onster ,
as they do best. It m ay seem that they w er e but then ever yone died.
pr otesting Pr esident M odel, but in fact, they w er e
still pr otesting Donald Tr um p. ?NO RACISTS IN The End.
OFFICE!!? Despite the fact that Donald Tr um p had
left office near ly 300 year s ago (he had left of his
ow n accor d after claim ing he w as sick of being
?bullied?by Alec Baldw in), they w er e still pr otesting
him . Ther e had been a slew of pr esidents since
then, including but not lim ited too: sever al good pr esidents, the m ost notable being Sally P. Cam pbell
(yes, Sally w as pr esident. It w as said that ever y pr ess confer ence star ted w ith her announcing the
lunch), a tulip, a few anim als ( tw o cats, one m onkey, and a tar antula), a sw eet potato pie, and an Elvis
im per sonator. In hindsight, Nat w ould agr ee w ith som e of the other cam per s that it w as pr obably a bad
idea to br ing under age (or not? debatable) people into a vir tual w ar zone. Oh w ell.
?SURRENDER!!? The Pr esident yelled fr om his tank . W hile they had been chanting, the ar my and Robot
M odel 3044 had sur r ounded them . ?W E HAVE YOU SURROUNDED. LIE ON THE GROUND AND PUT
YOUR HANDS OVER YOUR HEAD SO THAT W E CAN TAKE YOU HOSTAGE!?
?Can you now ?? Nat said calm ly.
?W HAT?? The pr esident said.
?I don?t know , can you take us hostage?? Nat said.
?UM M , M AY W E TAKE YOU HOSTAGE?? the pr esident said, clear ly confused.
?Thank you for asking pr oper ly. No, you m ay not.?
?Yes you m ay.? said one of the cam per s at the sam e tim e.
?W hat?? Nat asked. ?We don?t w ant to be taken hostage.?
?Yeah, but w e should r ew ar d them for being polite,? the cam per ar gued.
?I guess you?r e r ight,? Nat said w ith a sigh. ?You m ay take us hostage.?
?GREAT.? The pr esident said. ?NOW-?
?Excuse m e, M r. Pr esident,? said one of his guar ds.
?W HAT NOW ?!? The pr esident said ir r itably.
?Well, I don?t r eally w ant to guar d a bunch of gr am m ar ner ds. I m ove the notion that w e don?t take
them hostage.?
?W HAT??
?I second that,? another of the guar ds said.
?I thir d it.? A chor us of four th-ing and fifth-ing and et ceter a cam e fr om the other tanks.
?Sor r y, M r. Pr esident, but you?r e over r uled.? the fir st guar d said.
?DAG NABBIT!? w hined the Pr esident, stom ping his foot unhappily fr om inside the tank .
?M r. Pr esident, could you please cease to shout thr ough that bullhor n?? a soldier asked tim idly. ?It?s
r eally hur ting my ear s.?
?YOU CAN?T TELL M E W HAT TO DO!!!!? scr eam ed the Pr esident. ?I AM IN CHARGE AND I DO W HAT I
WANT!!!? He began to thr ow a tantr um w hile still yelling thr ough the bullhor n. All of his soldier s
cover ed their ear s and cur led up in the fetal position on the gr ass.
By this tim e Nat and the r est of the cam per s had left and gone back to cam p.
?Good job, cam per s! I think w e r eally just m ade a point about how r acism is w r ong!? Nat congr atulated
them .
?I think that the plant w as a better pr esident than that guy,? m um bled one of the cam per s.
Wei r d Ph obi as!
By Br ian Taliano
A phobia, as m ost of you pr obably know , is an
extr em e fear of som ething. Ther e ar e m any differ ent
types of phobias. M any people h ave ar achnophobia
(fear of spider s) or tr ypanophobia (fear of needles and
injections). But ther e ar e som e phobias that people
just can?t explain. Her e ar e som e of the w eir dest
r ecor ded phobias I?ve found.
1. Allodoxaphobia. If you cow er at the sound of
som eone speaking their m ind, than you m ight have a
phobia of opinions.
2. Nom ophobia. This one actually seem s to be
r elatively com m on these days: it?s the fear of being
w ithout your phone (or losing signal). I?m sur e you?ve
lost sight of your phone and fr eaked out at least once
in your life.
3. Ar achibutyr ophobia. Don?t eat PB&Js often if you?ve
got this phobia. It?s the fear of peanut butter sticking
to the r oof of one?s m outh. I can agr ee that?s an
ir r itating feeling.
4. Genuphobia. This is the fear of knees or kneeling.
I?m not sur e how you can escape your ow n knees, but
it pr obably isn?t a gr eat idea to go to chur ch if you
have this fear.
5. Lachanophobia. M or e people pr obably have this
phobia than you w ould expect. It?s the fear of
vegetables.
6. Om phalophobia. The fear of belly buttons-- need I
say m or e?
7. Pter onophobia. I?d advise you not to have excessive
pillow fights if you?r e afr aid of being tickled w ith
feather s.
8. Hippopotom onstr osesquipedaliophobia. Don?t
becom e a scientist if you?r e ter r ified of long w or ds.
And you pr obably shouldn?t ask anyone w hat the
scientific nam e for the phobia of w or ds is, either.
9. Oneir ogm ophobia. You see dr iftw ood in your
nightm ar es if you have this phobia. It?s the fear of w et
w ood.
10. Anatidaephobia. I can?t even im agine how hor r ible
this phobia m ust be. If you im agine it, it actually
seem s quite distur bing. This is the fear that
som ew her e in the w or ld, som ehow , a duck is w atching
you. Quack .
Sour ces:
phobialist.com
https://w w w.buzzfeed.com /.../w eir d-phobias-th
at-you-m ay-not-even-know -you-have
https://w w w.buzzfeed.com /.../w eir d-phobias-t
hat-you-m ay-not-even-know -you-have
w w w.nur singdegr eeguide.or g/2010/100-w eir d-
phobias-that-r eally-exist/
M agi c t r i ck t h at ?s i m possi bl e t o m ess u p
By Ryan Kane
Even if you ar e ver y bad at m agic, this tr ick
is im possible to m ess up because it r equir es
no car ds, no pr ops, and no skill because it?s
all m ath based. You don?t even need to be
good at m ath to do the tr ick, you just need
to r em em ber the sim ple steps of how to do
it. You?ve pr obably seen var iations of this
tr ick, but for m ost of them you have to
subtr act the num ber fr om your total later in
the tr ick, w hich you don?t have to do in this
one. Her e?s how you do it!
1. Tell som eone to chose liter ally any w hole
num ber and for them not to tell you it (If it?s
m or e than 10 they should use a calculator )
2. Now tell them to m ultiply the num ber by
9.
3. Tell them to now add the digits of their
num ber and give them an exam ple (If your
num ber is 26, do 2 + 6)
4. Have them r epeat step 3 as m any tim es as
necessar y until their num ber is only 1 digit.
5. Tell them to subtr act 5.
That?s the w hole tr ick! No m atter w hat
w hole num ber they chose at the beginning,
their final num ber w ill alw ays be 4. You
could just ask them ?Is your num ber 4?? but
that?s bor ing. Tr y w r iting 4 on a piece of
paper and then fold it up and tell them to
put it in their pocket if you w ant. The m or e
exciting you m ake the r eveal, the better
your tr ick w ill be. Okay, bye now.
Ask Li n k !
By Link and Lita
Wanna chill sometime? (; * * * -* * * -* * * * (phone # is
censored)
Um , i?m a bit scar ed to call you, and you seem a
bit shady.
SPAM is that a thing in your world?
Yes, but not as bad. -_- i've been tr olled so m any
tim es.
Are you red Link, Blue Link, or green Link?
I'm Link fr om Br eath Of The W ild!
How many musical instruments do you have?
Well, I ow n an ocar ina, a guitar , a tuba, a flute,
and I?m pr etty sur e I had Zelda?s har p for a bit. I
love m usic! M ost of my instr um ents have a
m agical pow er !
I took your pen and ate it.
Well then how did you w r ite this??
COW W W W !
M OOOO!
W ho is the weirdest person you know?
Well, I?d have to go w ith Tingle. He m akes m aps.
That little guy floats in the air w ith a balloon on
his back to get a bir d's eye view of hyr ule. But he
w ear s a gr een tight suit, w ith r ed under w ear
over it. W hen you talk to him , he tells you how
he w ants to be a for est fair y. And how his
par ent?s told him to give up his dr eam s, because
he?s a 34 year old. Then, once you listen to him
com plain, he shouts ?Tingle Tingle kooloo
lim pah!? and thr ow s glitter. He then tells you
never to r ecite those w or ds because he m ade
them up. It gets w or se. He has SIBLINGS.
Knuckle, Ankle, and David Jr.
I need help -helpless
Well, I?m sor r y to hear that and I w ish you the
best of luck?
LINKY SEM PAI W HYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Ugh w hat did I do this tim e??
Hi, do you like chicken?
Well, it's r ar e to find chicken in Hyr ule. Because
w henever I tr y to kill one, the chicken sum m ons
a w hole flock of chickens that begin to attack
m e. But chicken is okay. I eat duck though...
Syn est h esi a
By Ethan M am enta
Synesthesia, sim ply put, is a condition
w her e people associate tw o senses w ith
each other. For instance, som e people see
cer tain color s w hen hear ing differ ent
sounds. Som e people sm ell things w hen
they touch other things. M e? I see color s
w hen I hear or r ead num ber s and letter s.
Okay, so I don?t exactly ?see? them , I see the
sam e thing that a non-synesthete w ould see,
but I associate color s w ith num ber s and
letter s. Yester day (M onday), I w as talking to
som e fr iends about this. I said that I
associate 1 w ith r ed, 2 w ith blue, 3 w ith
yellow , and 4 w ith gr een. One fr iend
pointed out that those ar e the player color s
in m any video gam es (player 1 is r ed, player
2 is blue, etc.). I thought about it, and I
cam e to the conclusion that that couldn?t be
the r eason (or at least the entir e r eason) for
this because it goes past four. 5 is yellow , 6
is blue, 7 is or ange, 8 is yellow. So far I?ve
gone up to 30. It also w or ks w ith letter s. To
nam e a few , A is r ed, H is yellow , T is gr een.
On the topic of gr een (I love it w hen the
segues w r ite them selves), gr een is an even
num ber. I don?t know w hy it just is. M y dad
suggested that it w as because gr een is often
associated w ith ?good?, but it?s not the
concept of gr een that seem s even, it?s the
actual pr oper ties of the color. Also, gr een is
one of my least favor ite color s, so I don?t
tend to associate it w ith good. Anyw ays, if
you?ve exper ienced this, you m ight w ant to
consider that you have synesthesia. I?m still
bad at ending ar ticles.
Th e I n t er n at i on al M LB New s
By Cole Tom etsko
Welcom e to the Inter national M LB New s,
your one place for ever yday baseball new s.
Giancar lo Stanton hom er ed for his 6th
str aight gam e and is near ing the all tim e
hom e r un consecutive gam e r ecor d, held by
Ken Gr iffey Jr , Dale Long, and Don
M attingly. The Dodger s ar e 50 gam es over
.500 after w inning last night. Sonny Gr ay
got his fir st w in w ith the Yankees as the
Yankees beat the M ets last night. Finally, the
Red Sox tur ned a tr iple play star ted by
Rafael Dever s to Eduar do Nunez and then to
M itch M or eland.
W h er e Wou l d Each Cou n sel or /CI T Be I n t h e
Fu t u r e?
By AnoNym OuS777 (Ben Cr able)
- Aar on star ts a nuclear w ar because Walker becam e
evil. The w ar lasts only 2 hour s and the cam p has to
live under gr ound.
- Abby tr avels to Isabella?s for an ice cr eam . This ice
cr eam w as r adioactive, and gave Abby super pow er s.
Abby is now know n as ?Super her o Abby?.
- Amy gives M ojo ar tificial intelligence, giving him
hum an consciousness. M ojo then establishes w or ld
peace and defends Ear th fr om Walker ?s evil alien
for ces. M eanw hile Amy is in char ge of keeping the
cam p r unning sm oothly, since Aar on tur ned into a
m utant.
- Ben is in char ge of the selfie taking class. Since the
dar k r oom got destr oyed by the nuclear w ar , Ben
had to extend his class into an untouched m edium .
Thus selfies becam e the class?s top focus.
- Cooper tr ains the cam per s to fight the m utants in
Dover. Of cour se, Cooper only tr ains them by playing
ultim ate fr isbee and other spor ts w ith them .
- Em ily becom es the galactic illustr ator , and has
becom e close fr iends to Sally P Cam pbell. Em ily
tr avels acr oss the galaxy to dr aw and paint the m ost
beautiful scenes in the em pir e.
- Jenn cr eates Clay m utants out of the r adiation fr om
Dover. Jenn likes to call these clay m utants ?golem s?.,
and they pr otect the cam p fr om the m utants in
Dover.
- Kelsey gives Olive a r obotic outer skeleton,
pr otecting him fr om the w ar. Kellsy then tur ns
Electr onic Ar t class into Robotic Designing class.
- Om ar is in char ge of pr oviding food and r ationing it
to the cam per s. Om ar also r ules over all the other
cooks so that no one can cr eate better food than
Om ar.
- RJ is in char ge of the Wor ld-W ide Defense agency,
and is the r eason w hy Ear th hasn?t been conquer ed
yet. It is said that RJ asked the alien leader if he m et
any celebr ities.
- Sally P Cam pbell w ill be pr esident of the galaxy,
and w ill announce the daily galactic lunch to
ever yone.
- Walker banishes Roxanne to the w astelands of
post-apocalypse Dover because she r oasted Walker
too m any tim es.
- W hat is left of the Social Pr otest Stor ytelling class is
in hiding in the r uins of Dover. M ost of the class
tr ied to stop the Nuclear w ar befor e it star ted and
befor e they all tur ned into m utant tur tles, w ho
som ehow all knew ninjutsu.
- Wum bo Watson becom es the m ost fam ous scientist
in histor y, cr eating a w hole new level of
enter tainm ent and com for t for hum anity.
Qu est i on s 6
By Baseball, Hor sey, and Tigger !
Baseball: Welcom e to the Latest Edition
of Questions! Our issue w ith Hor sey w as
so fun, w e decided to keep her. So
w elcom e onto the staff, Hor sey!
New sflash: Tigger m ight be off for half
the issue today. But I?m not sur e.
Hor sey: Yay! But dow n to business w e
have 2 questions to answ er today.
Baseball: So let?s answ er them !
Q: W hat if I turned emo?
Hor sey: Um m I don't know w ho you ar e
so I don't think it w ould be a pr oblem ?
But if I? that m ight not be to good. Oh
w ell!
Tigger : All you need is one of those
hair -changer apps to see how you w ould
look w ith fr inge. If you like it, becom e
em o, if not, thank the gods you r ead this
ar ticle.
Baseball: * star ts laughing hyster ically*
But i?m pr etty sur e it?s im possible to tur n
em o. You could tr y getting a w ig?!
* r aises eyebr ow s*
Tigger : Of cour se it?s possible. It
happens, that?s w hy som e people ar e
em o. How else w ould they be? But this is
not w or th ar guing over.
Q: Can you add a new character and keep
it?
Baseball: We officially w elcom ed Hor sey
today, so w e have gr anted this w ish.
She?s a Dodger s fan.
Hor sey: I'm just ver y excited to be her e!
And that sounds good, Baseball!
Tigger : If any of you ar e w or r ied about
m e being outnum ber ed, don?t be. I can
take on any num ber of Sox fans! And
w elcom e, Hor sey.
Baseball: Signing off, it?s the still valiant
Red Sox fan, Baseball.
Hor sey: Cr azy as alw ays! Signing off!
Baseball: Hey, Tigger you never said
anything about how gr eat the Yankees
w er e. And you didn?t Sign off. W hat?s
up?
Tigger : Yankees don?t need to be
constantly pr aised, they ar e so obviously
better it?s not necessar y. And I haven?t
signed off because I?m still her e. But now
I?m gone...
Needh am Ban k I n t er v i ew
By Photojour nalism Class

Q: W ho ar e you?
A: Sandr a M ar cantuono, I am
the Dover br anch m anager
and the assistant Vice
Pr esident of Needham Bank .

Q: Do you like Dover ?

A: I love it!

Q: W hat is your typical day

like?
A: We star t ear ly and dur ing
the day open new accounts,
ser vice custom er s, w or k the
ATM .

Q: W hat is your favor ite

flavor of lollie?
A: Blue r az.

Q: W hat is your aver age

custom er like?
A: Usually a Dover r esident,
they com e in and leave
br iefly, alw ays extr em ely
fr iendly.

Q: Dunkies or Isabella's?
A: Dunkies! Don?t tell Char lie
next door though!

Q: How do you take your

coffee?
A: M edium iced, cr eam , no
sugar.

Q: Do you enjoy w or king in

Banking?
A: Yes, I have w or ked in
banking for 37 year s!

Q: W hat ar e your secur ity

m easur es?
A: Pr ivate and ther e?s a lot of
them .

Q: How m any br anches

exist?
A: Ther e ar e 9 br anches of
Needham Bank, they ar e not
cur r ently expanding.