May 3, 2017

Statement of Facts

RE: My Grandparents

My Grandfather died on August 11, 2016. I have several grievances about his final months
and the care that he received or didn't receive.

1. My Grandfather had two adult children. My dad, Donald, their son and oldest child and
then also my Aunt, Brenda.

2. Brenda was my Grandfather's Power of Attorney.

3. When my Grandfather was making his funeral plans he adamantly and repeatedly
stated that he wanted to die at home. My Grandfather trusted his daughter Brenda to
set up the arrangements for him to die peacefully at home.

4. I eventually became the primary caregiver for my Grandfather.

5. As I would tend to my Grandfather's needs I constantly felt opposition Brenda. I did

what I could to work with her, however, it seemed that she was manipulating people to
conform to her own agenda. Brenda was always setting up secret meetings with
service providers and making arrangements behind the backs of the rest of the family.

6. Brenda continuously confirmed to the family that she was making the appropriate
arrangements for Grandpa to die at home, however, it always seemed that she was
attempting to get him set up with hospice services.

7. I am not opposed to hospice services should a person consent to such, however, my

Grandfather never consented to these services, to the best of my knowledge, and he
always re-iterated his wish to die at home.

8. As time went on, I couldn't deny that Brenda was meeting with various people from
CCAC and/or the Family Health Team and that the goal seemed to be to get my
Grandfather into Hospice.

9. I was excluded from a meeting with, I believe it was, employees from Community Care
Access Centre (Dennis) and the Family Health Team, Brenda, and her Daughter
Jennifer from Toronto, even though I was on the property at the time. I ended up
walking into the meeting and found everyone present discussing Hospice. My
Grandfather's anxiety was through the roof. I asked questions and was minimized.
Finally, I voiced my concerns to Dennis, the CCAC employee. I told him that I felt that
me and my parents were being alienated from my Grandfathers care and the decisions
being made for him. I didn't feel that arrangements were being made as per my
Grandfather's wishes. I told everyone present that my Father wishes to be an active
participant in the care of his parents but that any efforts he makes are minimized,
ridiculed, or rejected by his Sister, Brenda. My Grandfather insisted that he wanted my
 Father to be part of his life and his subsequent care so Dennis gave me a business
card and told me that my Father will be considered in future communications regarding
the care of my Grandfather.

10. Even when a meeting was set up to include my Father, with Heather Campbell, there
would be long periods of time where my Aunt and Heather would have secret
conversation away from the rest of us. I specifically told Heather that I felt that her
secret conversations with my Aunt seemed to be collusion between the two of them
and that I did not appreciate it. Heather minimized my allegation. (Another time, on her
way out of Grandfather's house, I stopped Heather to tell her how that I felt there was
alienation occurring within the family, however, she just brushed me off with
professional jargon.)

11. The collusion between my Aunt and the various service providers heightened.
Eventually many of the PSW's, and or the RN's/RPN's would come to treat me with
disrespect and refuse to work with me in a positive and proactive manner even though
I was providing the care to my Grandfather in their absence and was the only one to
know what was happening with him on a consistent basis. It seemed that everything
had to be communicated through my Aunt as she wielded her Power of Attorney status.
In my opinion, my Aunt was more concerned with setting up the services that my
Grandfather didn't want and socializing with his service providers as opposed to giving
him any hands on care herself or setting up the services that he would come to need at
home. My mother and I did 95% of the care for Grandpa, under intense duress, until he
was transferred to hospice.

12. My Aunt's Husband Ed was particularly immature when dealing with me on a fairly
consistent basis. He was always trying to provoke me with snide comments or childish
looks of conceit or malice. I found this to be shocking behaviour from him and realized
that he could've never been the man that I had thought he was historically. I lost a lot of
respect for Ed Sokolowsky during this period.

13. Ed Sokolowsky seemed to attempt to set me up to appear as though I was failing my

Grandparents somehow. One day I had the central air in the house set perfectly after
struggling to control Grandpa's breathing in the humidity. Uncle Ed came in and
messed around with the thermostat, unnecessarily, and then told my Grandmother that
I had it set wrong. It took me quite a while to get the temperatures stabilized after he
left as Grandpa once again struggled to control his breathing. Ed returned another time
soon after and messed with the thermostat again, though there was absolutely no
reason to do so. He wasn't there nearly as often as I was so I'm not sure why he would
fiddle with things when he knew that I was on top of Grandpa's health in every way. I
consulted with Grandpa regularly about everything in the way that he was feeling and
the temperatures were working for him. I just don't understand why this type of
behaviour was occurring. No one knows what happened, but eventually, my
Grandmother had to have a new thermostat installed. Ed's behaviour seemed very
intentional to me. Ed would also randomly come in and re-arrange my Grandparents
medications after I had a system going that worked for everyone. I was there everyday
to administer the medications yet Ed would walk in and figure he knew best at any
particular given time of the day or night.
14. I am able to understand the basics of medicines and overall health. As such, I was the
one to consistently dispense medications. Many family members trusted me and relied
on me for this task, seemingly, my Aunt and Uncle included. I do not understand why
then, my Aunt and/or my Uncle would arbitrarily dispense medicines, or needlessly
mess around with the medicines, on random occasions, behind my back. My Aunt and
Uncle are intelligent enough to dispense medicines from a blister pack, but in my
opinion, they were out of their league beyond that!

15. As per my Grandfather's wishes, I was helping him with a natural approach to beat his
Cancer. Eventually, my Aunt made me stop the natural regimen until we could get the
foods approved by his doctor. I felt this was absurd, however, the doctors eventually
approved the diet. Even though we had seen success, the stall in waiting for approval
from the doctors seemed to hasten his decline. By the time we re-started the regime
his health was already failing and we didn't have time to get back on track before he
died.

16. My Aunt administered, or authorized someone else to administer, a narcotic to my

Grandfather that he did not want or need in my opinion, though he did have a
prescription for such on hand in case his pain heightened. I feel that my Grandfather's
health declined rapidly at this point, and so did he.

17. I was wearing myself thin with the care of my Grandfather and yet it seemed that
services were only being set up for my Grandmother. She would have up to 3 PSW's
visit her in one day while my Grandfather had only a Nurse/RPN that visited once a
day, at most, in most cases. I feel there should be far more accountability in the way
that PSW's are allowed to come and go from vulnerable people's homes. My
Grandparent's were to simply trust whoever walked through their door randomly. This
is not safe in my opinion.

18. As the time got closer and it was obvious that my Grandfather was dying, the alienation
that I felt from the various Service Providers was through the roof at this point. They
were flat out appearing to set me up as an incompetent caregiver and they were
stressing me to the maximum by not telling me the things I should've known, as his
primary caregiver, about my Grandfather's care.

19. I began to have a problem with one person specifically. Her name was Angel. I believe
she is an RPN through CCAC, though I'm not entirely sure of her exact title or
employer.

20. Angel personally involved herself into my family matters. She stopped her vehicle one
day to tell me who was inside my Grandparents home. She said she wanted to warn
me and she entertained me while I discussed how I'm being alienated. After this day,
however, Angel would seemingly collude against me and make things as difficult for me
as she could. Angel was a very rude and abrupt woman, in my opinion, and she most
definitely made my life more miserable than it had to be at an already stressful period.

21. I eventually had to call my Mother and Father to come help me with my |Grandparents
care. It seemed that my Aunt was only available to help out on the odd day but never
through the nights. This was left up to me and when I felt that I could no longer handle
 it, my Parents dropped everything in their lives and transitioned into my Grandparents
home to help me until Grandpa was eventually shipped away to hospice. I believe that
my Grandfather was sent to Hospice against his will.

22. It seemed to me that my Aunt was attempting to lead others to believe that she was the
primary caregiver for my Grandfather, even though I was the main primary caregiver all
along. I hope she wasn't receiving a fund or other like supports for a job that I was
doing. She can have all the accolades, I just want the truth!

23. I was making regular Statements of Facts that I intended to share with my family so
that we could all stay on the same page with Grandpa's care. I never got to share
these with anyone beyond my immediate family as my Aunt gave me the run around
with her email address. I was also caring for my Grandfather and was stretched for
time but I tried my very best to communicate the issues that I was experiencing.

24. My Mother and I were, more or less, responsible for Grandpa's care in the final days. It
was exhausting. No services had been set up for Grandpa to die at home. At this point
all the talk was about sending him to hospice. I was still trying to respect my
Grandfather's wishes so I was treated like an outcast by Angel and Brenda as they
seemingly had other plans for him. I want to know why no services, beyond that of a
hospital bed and an RPN were set up for my Grandfather. Why was he eventually
transferred to hospice against his repeatedly stated will? Why did my mother and I
have to break out backs in the final days because no services had been arranged for
him in his home? Why?

25. The night before my Grandfather was sent to hospice he was experiencing pain in his
abdomen. Brenda, my Mother, and I took my Grandfather to the Picton Hospital.
Usually, in my experience, Picton Hospital has generated exceptional care. Not in this
instance. We were told to leave Grandpa at the hospital for tests and whatnot and to
return home for some rest. After some contemplation, we did just that. When I left my
Grandfather we left him with the concerns that he was holding urine and that he had
suffered a potential stroke. We were re-assured that they would find out what the
issues were and that we would be contacted when my Grandfather was ready to be
sent home. I woke up in panic that morning feeling that something was wrong I asked
my Mother to drive me to the hospital and she informed me that the hospital had just
called saying that Grandpa was being held in a locked chair and that he was upset and
desperately yelling out. I went to the hospital immediately. When I walked in I saw the
most despicable thing of my life. I am still brought to tears and panic when I recall what
I saw upon entering the hospital. I saw my Grandfather, sitting only in his underwear in
a locked chair. His arms were flailing in the air and he was screaming from the top of
his lungs. He was alone, left sitting across from the Nurses Station (nurse was
present). The poor man was out of his mind with pain and anxiety. I was told that he
would not be getting out of the chair until he calmed down. How do you calm a person
down when they are freezing cold, in pain, overly anxious, and more-or-less
abandoned? I eventually did get him calmed down and they were releasing him when I
asked what it was they found wrong with him. The doctor informed me that Grandpa
didn't seem to have been evaluated for what we brought him in for. At that, a scan was
wheeled into room and it was revealed that Grandpa was holding urine. Had he been
holding it all night long? Good Lord! The doctor then gave me morphine tablets and
 another medication to help empty the bladder and continued rushing us out the door.
We were rushed out the door so quickly that I had to return to the Emergency
Department from outside to have the bleeding stopped from the IV removal. The nurse
apologized profusely. My Aunt eventually showed up at the hospital as we were getting
ready to leave. I can never erase from my mind how I found my Grandfather sitting in
the hospital that day. It's just so shameful.

26. My Grandfather was in so much pain that morning after bringing him home from
hospital. I knew it was the end. I couldn't bear to see him suffer so I didn't hesitate with
medicating him. I gave him a full dose of seroquel (even though I despise this garbage)
and I gave him plenty of morphine, whether authorized or not. I knew he would settle
down once the pain and the anxiety were under control but I also knew this would be
the end of his full cognizance. I called my kids to say goodbye to their Grandfather
before the effects of the medicine put him in, what I felt would be, the final stupor.

27. It seemed as though the service providers and my Aunt were in full gear at this point to
transfer Grandpa to Hospice. I was burnt right out. I had no say in the matter so I
eventually gave up and had to agree to the transfer in Grandpa's best interest. After all,
there was nothing set up at his home, the service providers weren't working with me, I
was sick and tired myself, the alienation was just so overwhelming and communicating
with his Doctor was simply a bloody nightmare. Dr. Connell has a lot to learn about
dignity for dying patients if you ask me, and many of Grandpa's service providers quite
agreed with that notion!

28. The amount of finger pointing that went on between my Aunt and the various service
providers was ridiculous. I always seemed to be the one straightening out issues that
doctors and nurses should've been responsible for. All I can say is that without my
common sense and my backbone my Grandfather's final days would have been a
nightmare for him. No one besides my immediate family will ever know the struggle
that we faced in attempting to do what Grandpa wanted and what was genuinely in his
best interest only to be blocked or unsupported by someone, more or less, every step
of the way. It was literally one screw up after another that I was fixing while my Aunt
and the various service providers shifted blame onto anyone not present. A lot of bad
mouthing went on in regards to Dr. Connell. If only she knew what they all really said
about her, but alas, it was me that she seemed to avoid at all costs.

29. I approached Angel when the arrangements were being made to transfer Grandpa to
Hospice. I told Angel that I was able to get Grandpa calmed down in situations where
others couldn't and that as his primary caregiver I was requesting to ride in the patient
transfer vehicle with my Grandfather. Immediately, Angels tone concerned me. In a
very enemy-like tone, Angel said that she thought that my Grandmother should take
the ride with my Grandfather. I told Angel that this was not in either of their best
interests as my Grandmother was able to easily provoke my Grandfather into anxiety
whereby he would lash out at her in confusion. Angel knew that my Grandparents were
having issues in this regard as Angel had most recently counselled my Grandmother
on particular domestic issues that my Grandmother was experiencing. I told Angel that
intentionally generating unnecessary conflict in the final days isn't good for either of my
Grandparents. I further told her that Grandpa would likely feel betrayed if he were to
happen to wake up during the transfer. I was literally the only one that Grandpa would
 respond to positively in crisis and I felt that I should be with him in his best interests. At
this point, Angel asked me why I was yelling at her. I told her that I wasn't yelling. Angel
said yes you are. I said no, Angel, I'm not. I took the voice recorder out of my back
pocket at this point and I showed Angel that I had been recording her. At that, Angel
rose to her feet and yelled at me in front of my Grandparents and others present. Angel
yelled, very unprofessionally, for me to 'stop this' and then she abruptly stormed out of
the house. On the front porch, she stopped to talk with my Aunt, where I heard her
further speaking ill of me.

30. At this point, I had no doubts that I was actively being set up by at Angel. I told
everyone at my Grandparents home that I had had enough. I informed them that since
Grandpa's pain and anxiety were under control that I would attend hospice at 11pm
every night from then on to sit with him through the nights as I had done all along. I
gave instructions that I did not wish to speak with anyone outside of my immediate
family or to service providers in my time at Hospice and that when someone showed
up in the morning to take the day shift I would leave promptly without conversation.

31. Before I went to hospice on that first night I made a public Facebook status stating that
I felt set up by the involved service providers.

32. My Mother called to tell me that she received a phone call telling her that if I made
another Facebook status that it would be considered a threat and that I would be
forbidden to see my Grandfather in Hospice.

33. I was controlled and oppressed as I cared for my Grandfather in his final days. I did
what I could to ensure that his wishes would be honoured, but at the end of the day his
Power of Attorney failed to ensure that that would happen for him, in my opinion.

34. I believe that Brenda Sokolowsky orchestrated a campaign whereby she sought to
overthrow the final wishes of my Grandfather and in doing so she alienated me and my
Immediate Family. Brenda Sokolowsky colluded with others to achieve such an
agenda. I believe that Brenda Sokolowsky is criminally responsible for the
inappropriate care that my Grandfather suffered in his final days, if not weeks.

35. Services should have been arranged for my Grandfather to pass away at home.
Besides a hospital bed and some help from service providers I did not see much in the
way of home assistance. I should not have had to nearly kill myself in honouring my
Grandfather's final wishes because of this sort of incompetence. I did the care, I did the
meds, I did the worry. My Aunt appeared to cause drama and revel in the attention she
received as her Father passed away while utterly disrespecting his final wishes. It's
damn disgusting if you ask me!

36. At the very end, my Grandfather expressed his remorse to me for trusting my Aunt. He
asked me why I thought she was so stupid. Then he told me to go get his red car
from her house. He put it together in the end, but by then, I had to tell him that he
couldn't help me from the position he was in and that he had to go to a higher place to
do so. He promised me he would help me tell our truth somehow, someway, although it
is my hope that he is finally resting in peace.
37. Grandpa would occasionally wake up through the nights at Hospice. We shared very
special moments that I'm so eternally grateful for. We talked. We hugged. We kissed.
We held hands. I wet his lips. I smoothed his brow. I told him stories about Heaven. I
played Johnny Cash gospel and we rocked the nights away together. Sometimes I
slept. Sometimes I watched him sleep. I'm so glad they didn't take that from me!

38. My Cousin Jennifer was the Minister for my Grandfather's funeral. I was very close to
my Grandfather and I spent more time with him than any other Grandchild had over his
lifetime. I was his primary caregiver while he was dying for heavens sake and yet I was
not consulted once regarding any arrangements for my Grandfather's funeral. After he
died I was simply tossed aside. I was alienated at the luncheon after the funeral and so
was most of my immediate family, given the evil eye by many and flat out rejected by
others. What a disgraceful shit show! I found out who many people really were that
day!

39. I'd also like to state, for my Grandmother's benefit, that she has stated to me, time and
time again, that she does not like the medicines that she is on. She has also said that
she is in chronic pain that gets minimized. I further believe that my Grandmother has
un-diagnosed Lyme Diesease that has detrimental effects on the human body,
especially the longer it is left untreated. I have tried to help my Grandmother with these
issues but my Aunt is her Power of Attorney and I tend to get minimized or blocked
whereby helping Grandma becomes next to impossible. My Aunt will simply say Oh
Mom, you know Doctor Connell, she's useless and the issues don't get dealt with. In
my experience my Aunt slanders Doctor Connell to no end and then she kisses her ass
like there's no tomorrow when in her presence.

40. I would have been able to do so much more for my Grandparents had I had a car of my
own or if I had been able to drive their car. Historically, I was always allowed to drive
my Grandparents vehicles but, due to what I consider to be my Aunt's manipulation, I
was all of a sudden cut off from being allowed to drive their car. My Grandfather told
me that my Aunt had told him that I don't have a clean driving record and that I need
my own insurance to legally drive his car. I am able to drive other peoples vehicles
without issue and I most certainly do have a clean driving record, so I'm not sure where
that misinformation came from. Nevertheless, near the end of his life, my Grandfather
told me that he knew something wasn't right with the situation and he began to offer up
the car to me only to have my Aunt and/or my Grandmother to forbid it. He didn't
understand what their issue was, especially after my Mother explained to him that I can
drive her car without issue. He told me that he knew that something wasn't right with
my Aunt's head and that he was so very sorry that he didn't see it sooner.

41. My Grandmother has a car that just sits in her drive-way now. I'd love to take her
places and get her out more but I am forbidden to drive her car, which is fine, I just
wish it weren't the situation so that I could do more for her and make her life as full as it
can be as opposed to sitting the house rehashing the same memories over and over
and over. I've been told that Dr. Connell told my Grandmother that she can no longer
drive herself after my Grandfather died and I'm told the reason was that she had had a
stroke. The stroke was over a decade ago.

42. I feel like my Grandmother's quality of life sucks when it doesn't have to. If the
 alienation didn't exist my family could do so much more with Grandma, but it all has to
be approved through my Aunt first. I feel like my Grandmother is left to age when I
could keep her as youthful as possible by being as active and healthy, mentally and
physically, as possible. I would love to make my Grandmother's life better for her but I
seem to be blocked every step of the way so I have simply distanced myself to
eliminate the effects of stress on my Grandmother in such a confusion situation but I
do intend to be there for her if she ever needs me to be.

43. Let it be known that until my Grandfather's health began to decline my Aunt Brenda
rarely visited my Grandparents in their home. Rarely did Brenda or her family visit. My
Parents have to drive over from Belleville to see my Grandparents and I believe that
they visited with my Grandparents more regularly and consistently in my Grandparents
home more than my Aunt ever did. My Aunt only seemed to pick my Grandparents up
and take them out for visits but they rarely sat with them in their own space. Me and
my kids were consistently at my Grandparents home throughout the years. I was
always there for my Grandparents!

44. I no longer expect justice or accountability from any of the systems that purport to bring
such about. I merely exercise my alleged freedom of speech and then document future
events as they unfold thereafter.

45. I issue the above forty-four (44) statements, without malice or purposeful deceit, as
part of my evolving personal Record of events.

In the light

Brenda Everall
brendaeverall@gmail.com