Volu m e 48B | Issu e 04 | M on , 7/ 31/ 17
I t ?s t h e l ast day of Ju l y! (an d sch ool i s get t i n g
Th e Ner di sm Th at I n f est s M y Br ai n
By Peter Tr avis
I have a ser ious case of ner dism . Now ,
that?s a ver y easy thing to say, how ever , the
depths in w hich how ner dy I am ar e
incom pr ehensibly deep. I have all the
char acter istics that a ?ner d?m ight have, such
as:
1. I have an infatuation w ith Nintendo.
2. M y favor ite novel of all tim e is Ready
Player One. (and by the w ay, If you haven?t
r ead the book, stop r eading this ar ticle and
buy the book)
3. M y social skills can use som e
im pr ovem ent.
4. Did you buy Ready Player One yet?
For now , know that if you ever com e
up to m e and say ?It?s?, I w ill alw ays say
?M onty Python?s Flying Cir cus?in a num ber
of voices, som e of w hich m ay include Ker m it
the Fr og.
I am w r iting this ar ticle because of
the r ecently r eleased Ready Player One
tr ailer that you should know all about. You
r ead the book, r ight?
I have r ecently been collabor ating
w ith a Discor d ser ver that speculates about
an Alter nate Reality Gam e connected to the
Ready Player One m ovie. We hope to see you
ar ound.
Puzzle: Decode this m essage. EKANS
RBV LW X O HYI W RDZJXF!
How t o Far t
By Zachar y Levine
Far ting is som ething you nor m ally can't contr ol, but w hen it com es to ar m pits you can. Of
cour se these far ts ar e fake, but w ho car es? They ar e fun.
Fir st, cup your hands ar ound your ar m pit and w ith the ar m that is being cupped ar ound, m ake
a chicken ar m , put it up and then push it dow n. Keep tr ying until a far t com es out.
cl oser ! )
By Kalie
I can not believe that tom or r ow is the fir st day of
August! It felt like just a few m onths ago it w as cold
and snow ing. It felt like just a few m onths ago I
couldn?t w ait for school to get out and now I have to go
back to school. School is com ing and it?s com ing fast.
The m onths go by w ay too fast. One m inute it?s
Januar y and you?r e in your w inter coat and m ittens
and next thing you know you?r e w ear ing shor ts and
it?s June! Soon it?s going to be Septem ber. And you
know w hat that m eans? SCHOOL! I w ant to go back to
school but I don?t. I like seeing my fr iends but I hate
lear ning about bor ing stuff. As you can see, I have
m ixed feelings about school. If you don?t like school,
m ake the m ost of your sum m er (and pr ay for snow
days!). Good luck w ith school!
How To Be Al l t h e Sass
By Tillie Slosser
Life is better if you ar e the sass. This isn?t a debatable
thing, it?s a fact. Her e is how to be not one of the sass,
but all of it.
The Eyebr ow : In or der to be all the sass, you m ust look
all the sass. To m ake your face sass, you m ust r aise
one eyebr ow higher than the other , and cock your
head to the opposite side. If r aising one eyebr ow is not
possible for you, you r eceive sass dem er its, but both
eyebr ow s and less head-cocking achieve a sim ilar
level of the sass.
The Hands: Placing one hand on your hip w hilst doing
?The Eyebr ow ? enhances your sass. Shifting your
w eight to one side so that you can bend one leg is also
r ecom m ended.
Sassy com ebacks: Sassy com ebacks to com m ents so
that no one can question your sass. Or iginality
r equir ed. (One of my fr iends just r eplies ?You'r e a(n)
(Inanim ate object that w as just talked about)?. W hile
not ver y sassy, still funny.)
This is how you becom e all the sass. I, how ever , am
still the sass m aster.
M y Fave Fi ves
By Cadence Rosenblum

Welcom e to my fave fives! Ever y day or tw o I w ill m ake a list of my favor ite five item s in r andom
categor ies. If you w ant to suggest a categor y (such as flow er s, color s, or som ething m or e r andom ) you
can w r ite it on a piece of paper and put it in a r ed pouch that says ?Cadence?s Fave Fives? in the Activity
Center hallw ay by the bathr oom s. Today I w ill be shar ing my fave five r idiculous star bucks dr inks. The
other day I found a w ebsite called the Star bucks Secr et M enu that basically has w ays to tor tur e
star bucks bar istas by or der ing specialty sauces and flavor s in dr inks to m ake them taste like som ething
else. Her e ar e the five that m ake m e laugh the m ost:

5. ?The Bar bie Pink Fr appuccino? ? I?m not sur e If this dr ink is nam ed for its color (pink, of cour se) or
because it has Bar bie in it. (I hope not). The r ecipe is ver y com plicated:
* ?M ilk to fir st line and into pitcher ? (?)
* Add toffee nut syr up
* Add r aspber r y syr up
* Ice
* Add thr ee pum ps of cr em e base

4. ?The Pum pkin Cheesecake Fr appuccino? ? Okay fir st of all ? pum pkin cheesecake? I had never
hear d of this befor e I looked it up but appar ently it?s a thing. Per sonally, I w ouldn?t w ant pum pkin
anyw her e near my cheesecake. I definitely w ould not w ant to DRINK a cheesecake.The r ecipe is even
m or e confusing:
* Cr em e based pum pkin spice fr appuccino
* Add cinnam on dolce syr up
* Add vanilla bean pow der
* Add W hite m ocha syr up

3. ?The Hallow een Eggnog Fr appuccino? ? This is another fall-them ed dr ink? ..but w hy?? Isn?t eggnog
supposed to be a Chr istm as dr ink? Aside fr om the cr azy concept, the r ecipe doesn?t look that bad I
guess:
* Cr em e based fr appuccino
* Add pum pkin spice syr up
* Add car am el syr up
(But ser iously? Hallow een eggnog?)

2. ?The Pokem on Go Fr appuccino? ? This Fr appuccino is thr ow ing it back to 2016? in a ver y w eir d
w ay. W hat is Pokem on Go even supposed to taste like? Accor ding to the w ebsite, the dr ink is
incor por ated into the gam e so that w hen you pass a Star bucks location w hile playing, an im age of the
dr ink w ill appear. But for a w hile I thought ther e m ight be actual pokem on inside of it.
* Vanilla bean fr appuccino
* Raspber r y syr up
* Fr eeze dr ied blackber r ies (do you r eally w ant to m ake the bar istas dig in their cabinets for fr eeze
dr ied blackber r ies?)

1. (M y all-tim e fave) ?The Nar w hal Fr appuccino? ? W ho knew that ther e could be a Nar w hal
Fr appuccino? You w ould think that due to the am azing nam e, this w ould look spectacular. Instead, the
dr ink alm ost looks like nar w hal bar f. The dr ink consists of:
* Blended str aw ber r y lem onade (?)
* Vanilla bean pow der
* Top w ith gr een tea m atcha pow der (?-if you know w hat this is congr atulations)

Rem em ber to subm it categor ies!

W h at Per i od Of Th e Day Ar e You ? Top 10 Wor st Dai l y Dou bl e Th em es
By Elizabeth Weston By AnoNYm OuS777 (Ben Cr able)

W hat is your favorite thing to do? The Daily Double has? inter esting them es to say the least.
A: Eat Her e ar e a list of the 10 potentially WORST them es the Daily
B: Wr iting Double could ever com e up w ith.
C: Spor ts
D: M usic 10. Shor test Ar ticle Ever them e. On one hand ther e w ill be a
E: Relaxing lot of space, but this w ill be the fir st tim e in Daily Double
F: Hanging w ith fr iends histor y that ther e ar e m or e than 20 ar ticles on any pr inted
Daily Double.
W hat is your favorite type of
personality? 9. Em oji M ovie them e. Please no, just stop.
A: Bor ing
B: Kind 8. W hat [inser t noun her e] Ar e You them e. This is alm ost
C: Hyper ever y Daily Double ar ticle.
D: Respectful
E: Calm 7. Shr ek them e. Half of the cam per s pr obably only know
F: Fr iendly this or ge w ear ing M LG sunglasses next to M ountain Dew
and Dor itos.
W hat is your favorite color?
A: Yellow 6. Dabbing them e. It?s not cool in r eal life, you can't m ake an
B: Gr een ar ticle dab so don?t even tr y.
C: Pur ple
D: Blue 5. Donald Tr um p them e. Does this even need explanation?
E: Or ange
F: Pink 4. Walker them e. Ew w w w w.

W hat is your favorite animal? 3. Daily Double them e. Does this technically count as a
A: Bear them e?
B: Koala
C: Dog 2. Anim e them e. Only about 5 cam per s w ill know
D: Cow ever ything in the Anim e them ed Daily Double.
E: Cat
F: Hor se 1. Dank M em e them e. This one took so m uch spir itual
w illpow er to even w r ite.
Answ er s:
M ostly As: Per iod 4: You love to eat W hatever you guys do at the Daily Double, do not m ake any
and w atch/per for m w ith your them ed r elated to this! (Especially num ber 4. That one w as
fr iends. just? . em otionally shatter ing).
M ostly Bs: Per iod 1: You enjoy
w r iting, you love to w r ite about
anything, you ar e ver y cr eative.
M ostly Cs: Per iod 3: You ar e ver y
athletic, you love to exer cise, and
r un ar ound w ith fr iends.
M ostly Ds: Per iod 6: You love to sing,
and dance, and play instr um ents.
M ostly Es: Per iod 2: You love to
r elax on your couch and w atch tv or
r ead.
M ostly Fs: Per iod 5: You love to hang
w ith fr iends, you ar e a chill, fr iendly
per son.
Joh n Du f f y: Fr an ch i se M an ager ? Needh am an d Dover
Du n k i n ?Don u t s
By the Photojour nalism Class

M ost popular donut?

Chocolate Fr osted.

Do you like the coffee served at Dunkin' Donuts?

I love the coffee.

Do you get an employee discount?

Yes I do.

W hat is your opinion on Dover customers compared to other

customers?
Gr eat custom er s; they ar e ?coffee lover s?.

W hat is your favorite type of customer?

Custom er s w ith m oney.

How many customers do you usually see each day?

250-300 custom er s a day.

Favorite thing on the menu?

Regular coffee.

Favorite part of working a Dunkin?

I love w hat it says and w hat it is about.

Have you worked at Dunkin?Donuts before the Dover

location?
Yes? in Needham .
Pl ay-Doh : Har m f u l or Pl ayf u l ? (Par t 2)
By Gabe Levine & M atan Josephy
If you r ead our last ar ticle, you?d know
that Dopam ine, a highly addictive dr ug, w as
found in som e container s of Play-Doh, leading
to a four -hundr ed m illion dollar law suit by
par ents. How ever , in a r ecent analysis of
m ultiple Play-Doh container s, tr aces of
Ethylene Glycol (A poisonous chem ical) w er e
discover ed, adding m or e evidence to the
Play-Doh Is Killing Us All law suit. M or e par ents
have com e for w ar d, saying that their childr en
passed out (or w or se?) due to ingesting this
chem ical found in the Play-Doh. Hasbr o?s
law yer s ar e expected to state that it is not the
com pany?s fault that these childr en have
ingested the Play-Doh.
Hasbr o executives have not com m ented
on these r ecent discover ies, but a r uling on the
law suit is expected to ar r ive w ithin the next
few days. Follow our ?live? analysis of this
law suit, w hich could im pact Hasbr o for year s
to com e.
Editor?s Note: This article is a work of fiction.
Author?s Note: Ethylene Glycol doesn?t make you
pass out. It kills you.
Wal k er x Lu n a Lovegood
By AnoNYm OuS777 (Ben Cr able)
Inspir ed by Roxanne
Author?s Note: Roxanne only gave me the title of
this fan-fic, so I?m making up the rest of the
story from here on out. Next time write out the
fan-fiction on paper and hand it on to the paper
that says ?Walker Fan-fictions HERE?
Walker w as w alking dow n the str eet w hen he
cam e acr oss a m agic hat. The m agic hat
sum m oned Luna Lovegood (for som e r eason
that I?m too lazy to explain). Walker w as
lovestr uck and stutter ed. Walker then tur ned
into a cat and jum ped onto Luna?s lap and
star ted to pur r. Luna took Walker the cat back
to Hogw ar ts (How did she get back, I don?t
know , nor do I car e) and show ed him to all her
fr iends. Har r y Potter saw Walker the cat and
decided to steal him because he w as sooooooo
fluffy. Luckily, Luna m anaged to convince
Har r y that the cat w as not fluffy, but instead
fat. And so Walker x Luna Lovegood becam e a
thing.
Qu i z: W h at Ar e You Goi n g To Be W h en
You Gr ow Up?
By Addison and Ryan Kane
1. W hat do you do after camp?
A. eat
B. sleep
C. play outside
D. play inside
E. do taxes
2. If you had to read a book, what would it
be?
A. Cloudy W ith A Chance Of M eatballs
B. Dr. Seuss?s Sleep Book
C. M illion-Dollar Thr ow
D. Com puter s For Senior s For Dum m ies
E. Under standing Taxes
3. W hat is your favorite thing in school?
A. lunch
B. nap tim e/dism issal
C. r ecess
D. ever ything except r ecess
E. independent r eading tim e so you can r ead
books about taxes
4. W hat's your favorite food?
A. ever ything
B. m ilk and kale
C. gr ass and sticks
D. dino chicken nuggets
E. salad w ith a single cr outon
Answ er s:
If you answ er ed m ostly A, you w ill have
your ow n show on the Food Netw or k and
you w ill get to eat a lot of fr ee food. Oh, also,
your favor ite food w ill be a cr oissant.
If you answ er ed m ostly B, you ar e going to
either be m attr ess tester or you w ill just
sleep all day and have no fr iends or life.
If you answ er ed m ostly C, you w ill either be
a pr ofessional athlete or a pow er r anger so
you can save the day!!!!!
If you answ er ed m ostly D, you w ill either be
a har dcor e Youtube gam er or you w ill have
a bor ing office job at Staples headquar ter s
and you w ill w or k ther e until you ar e 70 and
then you w ill r etir e.
If you answ er ed m ostly E, you w ill either be
a tax dude or an astr onaut and go to m ar s
If you answ er ed a m ix then you w ill have a
par t tim e job at Ocean State Job Lot w ith
your fr iend Car l.
Th e Oct opu s Th e I dea Box Rev i ew I s BAAAACK
By Br ooke Car ter By Chloe Cr able

In the ocean, ther e lived an octopus, and this octopus Yes (m uahahahahhaahhahaha),
lived in a cave at the bottom of the deep and dar k ocean. w elcom e back to another IDEA BOX
The octopus had one fr iend and his fr iend w as an ant, but REVIEW. You cannot escape this one ?
his fr iend the ant lived on land so the octopus could never Huehuehue. Okay, let?s get star ted. I'm
visit the ant. Instead, they w er e pen pals, and ever y w eek going to be r eview ing thr ee or four
the ant w ent to the beach and the octopus w ent to the questions.
shor e and they w ould talk for a long tim e. Then one day,
the ant never cam e to the beach, so the octopus thought Question Number One: Eyes, Eyes
and then he had a gr eat idea. He w ent to the stor e and got everywhere!
a giant box put the label on and got inside the box and So tr ue? So tr ue.
w as shipped aw ay. The next day, the ant saw a giant box
on the fr ont law n. The ant opened the box, and ther e w as Question Number Two: Get annoyed and
his fr iend the octopus! write about it.
THE END I am ver y annoyed by this question. I
get annoyed too m uch ? I am getting
Th e FNAF Tak eover ! ! ! annoyed r ight now. So I am w r iting
By Ava about it now. HAH! I BEAT THE
QUESTION! I WON!!
OM G!!! FNAF (Five Nights at Fr eddy's) IS TAKING OVER Question Number Three: Write a poem
CRCAP!!!! I love FNAF so I am ver y happy, but som e of you about Summer.
m ay be ver y scar ed. BUT FEAR NOT! I w ill help you Sum m er is Sum m er
sur vive/not be scar ed. Fir st you need a Fr eddy m ask for It is funner
the toys, w ither ed and m angled! 2nd, you need a Then W inter , Spr ing, or Fall
flashlight for Foxy and the nightm ar es. Last you need a Com e one, com e all
good place to hide like a desk or bedr oom . But if you w ant To CRCAP DURING THE SUM M ER
them to be your fr iends you w ill need a lot of cake You pr oud, Walker ?
and? ? .PPIIZZZZAA!!!!!!!!!!! So get r eady for Fr eddy.
Goodbye! Question Number Four: Review your
own tongue.
? I can't do this ? Uhhh, I need help ?
Hey! We?r e Not I m post er s! Ava: It?s pink .
By 1st Session Don?t Ask Us Oh, r eally? Is it? How do you know it?s
not r ed or blue or pur ple? For all w e
Dear Don?t Ask Us, know IT COULD BE RAINBOW.
Hi! Recently you guys put an ar ticle in the Daily Double Ava: It r eally is pink, although a
saying w e w er e fake you. In r eality w e?r e the Don?t Ask Us r ainbow tongue w ould be r eally cool.
team fr om fir st session. One of your pr ogenitor s, Katie,
gave us explicit per m ission to r un the Don?t Ask Us advice Okay, that?s enough. Bye Bye.
colum n. We did not m ean to anger you, as you ar e the
Elder Gods and w e cow er in fear of your of ter r ible glor y.
We w ill take dow n our advice colum n thingie on the advice I AM A LAM PREY! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
colum n pockets, and w e w ill, in the futur e, r un this colum n By Cir cus Baby (Ava)
only w hen you all, the ?r eal? Don?t Ask Us, ar en?t at cam p.
We ar e sor r y for the confusion.
W hat is a lam pr ey? You m ay ask . Well,
Sincer ely,
it a aw esom e thing m ade by the hum an
The ?fake? Don?t Ask Us, aka 1st Session Don?t Ask Us
r ace. A lam pher e (aka am aw esom e
m achine) is a kill? I m ean, a aw esom e
[Editor?s Note: progenitor /pr??jen?d?r/ noun. plural
thing that helps peep. (Yes, I said
noun: progenitors ? a person or thing from which a person, peeps). So r un ? I m ean, get your
animal, or plant is descended or originates; an ancestor or lam pr ey today! (Run! A lam pr ey is a
parent] killing m achine!!!!)
Qu est i on s #2
By Baseball Cats

Baseball: Fir st of all, please don?t w r ite or doodle on our subm ission box. We?d r eally like not to
have to r eplace it som etim e dur ing the session. So, please.
Tigger : Both of our questions today w er e one w or d. And only one w as r elevant. W hich m eans I
get to answ er how ever I w ant. So ther e.

Q: Catz
Baseball; Uh, yeah. We?r e cats. That like baseball. But cats is spelled c - a - t - s. Even som eone w ith
alleged br ain dam age know s that. But I still like the Red Sox. We?ve got r ings and M ookie. No
stoppin?us.
Tigger : No, no, Baseball, w e have the r ings. Plus, r eplacing s?s w ith z?s m akes ever ything cooler.
Obviously, this per son just w ants to tell us how cool they think w e ar e. We alr eady know , but
som etim es it is nice to hear it fr om som eone else.
Baseball: Too bad for you, but they have 8 r ings. That?s quite enough. The Yankees haven?t w on a
w or ld ser ies for 8 year s. Cur ses, anyone? PS. They haven?t been in the ALCS in 7 year s and the
ALDS in 3 year s. The last tim e the Yankees m ade the Wor ld Ser ies w as in ?09. But I guess that
could be tr ue.
Tigger : Blah, blah. Yankees ar e better , or else their fans w ouldn?t be so loyal. Exhibit A: M oi.
Baseball: W hy do you think the Red Sox sold out 820 str aight hom e gam es r ecently! Because w e
have the m ost loyal fans in baseball. Boom .
Tigger : Give m e the sour ce of that infor m ation. I w ant to check it out myself.
Baseball: Google. W her e else w ould it be?
Tigger : Google isn?t a sour ce. It?s a sear ch engine. W hat w ebsite?
Baseball: W ho says it isn?t a w ebsite?
Tigger : Um , they say it?s not a w ebsite them selves. Google found it for you but didn?t give you the
infor m ation. Plus, it?s easy to sell out at Fenw ay. It?s tiny. It?s only the 26th biggest baseball
stadium in the U.S. Yankee Stadium is the 2nd. Look up ?List of U.S. baseball stadium s by
capacity?.
Baseball: Since w hen do I car e about that. Google is a r eliable sour ce and a r eal one. No lie.
Even these people think it is. It w as dow n for only 31 m inutes last year.
Tigger : I just used Google! And just because it doesn?t go dow n doesn?t m ean the infor m ation is
r eliable. All it does is give you stuff other people have said. It doesn?t m onitor the infor m ation.

Q: Poop
Tigger : Is this an Em oji M ovie Refer ence? Poop is played by Sir Patr ick Stuar t. I haven?t seen this
m ovie yet but the opinion of the gener al public is that it is ter r ible. Ser iously, 0% on Rotten
Tom atoes. M y favor ite r eview is ?A view er leaves The Em oji M ovie a colder per son, not only
angr y at the film for being unconscionably bad, but r esentful of it for m aking them feel angr y? by
Char les Br am esco on Rotten Tom atoes.
Baseball: I hope this isn?t dir ected at our advice colum n. But this is a gr eat descr iption of how the
Or ioles and Blue Jays ar e playing r ight now.
Tigger : And how the Red Sox play m ost of the tim e.
Baseball: Sam e for the Yankees. No m atter how they play, they?r e alw ays consider ed poop by the
r est of the league.
Tigger : That is a load of poop. Pr ove it. You can?t.
Baseball: Ever yone ar ound the league likes any team that beats the Yankees
Tigger : Ever yone? Really. Ever yone. I?ve told you a m illion tim es not to exagger ate.
Baseball: But for now , It?s Baseball, signing off. PS the r ed sox ar e alw ays going to be better than
the Yankees.
Tigger : In your dr eam s.
Baseball: Sor r y, but no. Signing off.
Tigger : Sor r y, but yes. Signing off.
Th e M yst er y of t h e Dog Th i ef ?s Tr easu r e Th e I n t er n at i on al M LB New s
By Jacob Rast By Cole Tom etsko

The ever -elusive Kr istin Nueve, com m only Welcom e to the Inter national M LB New s, the one
r efer r ed to as ?The Dog Thief ? for her dog place for ever yday M LB New s. Yester day, July 30,
them ed cr im es, r anging fr om her r obbing of 2017, is a day for the histor y books. 38 year old
kennels to her usage of bone-shaped Adr ian Beltr e of the Texas Ranger s hit his 3,000th
lockpicks, has been caught after eluding the hit against the Baltim or e Or ioles in a 10-6 Or ioles
police for tw enty-four year s. Upon captur e, w in. Beltr e joined Hall Of Fam er s Cap Anson,
Nueve gave the police dir ections to her Honus Wagner , Nap Lajoie, Ty Cobb, Tr is Speaker ,
hideout as w ell as a note r eading: ?To find my Eddie Collins, Paul Waner , Stan M usial, Hank
tr easur e beneath the gr ound, take thr ee steps Aar on, W illie M ays, Rober to Clem ente, Al Kaline,
back and flip it ar ound! If m or e than tw ice Lou Br ock, Car l Yastr zem ski, Rod Car ew , Robin
you get it w r ong, my loot w ill blow up w ith a Yount, Geor ge Br ett, Dave W infield, Eddie M ur r ay,
bom b! Uhqur fw pplhkw qr hor khkw. ~Dog Paul M olitor , Tony Gw ynn, Wade Boggs, Cal Ripken
Thief ? Upon investigating the hideout, the Jr , Rickey Hender son, and Cr aig Biggio, r etir ed
police found a r oom containing r ow s of holes star s Pete Rose, Rafael Palm eir o, Der ek Jeter , and
aligned in a 4 x 4 gr id, w ith the r oom ?s Alex Rodr iguez, and cur r ent star Ichir o Suzuki as
entr ance located betw een the second and the only player s to r each that m ilestone, but Beltr e
thir d holes of the bottom r ow. You ar e a becam e the fir st Dom inican player to r each the
young police cadet, w ho know s that to find m ilestone. Also in M LB New s, ther e w er e m ultiple
the tr easur e befor e anyone else does w ill team s that w alked off last night. The team s w er e
r esult in a pr om otion at the depar tm ent. A the Tor onto Blue Jays, the Los Angeles Dodger s, the
pr elim inar y analysis of the r oom has Oakland A?s, and the Chicago W hite Sox. The tr ade
deter m ined four significant facts. Fir st, the deadline ends today at 4:00 PM , and ther e ar e som e
tr easur e is unquestionably located in one of star s that ar e r um or ed to get tr aded. Detr oit Tiger s
the holes. Second, each hole not containing star pitcher Justin Ver lander and Oakland A?s
the tr easur e contains a sensor , im possible to pitcher Sonny Gr ay ar e a few of the nam es. And
avoid w hile investigating the hole. If thr ee of finally, Tim Raines, Ivan Rodr iguez, and Jeff
these sensor s ar e tr igger ed, it is believed that Bagw ell w er e inducted into the Baseball Hall Of
a sm all explosive, holding the capacity to Fam e in Cooper stow n, New Yor k .
destr oy the tr easur e w ill detonate in the
cor r ect hole. Thir d, it is im possible to enter
the r oom thr ough any other m ethod, so
Nueve m ust have alw ays enter ed thr ough the
door you enter ed thr ough. Finally, a com plex
system of tr aps m eans that it w ould be
im possible to obtain the tr easur e thr ough
m ethods other than sim ply investigating the
holes. Such m ethods include dr illing beneath
the holes, disabling the bom b or sensor s,
usage of extr action m achiner y, or having
sixteen differ ent officer s each investigate a
distinct hole at the sam e tim e. Unfor tunately
for you and your fellow officer s, this
pr elim inar y analysis r esulted in the
tr igger ing of the sensor s in the holes on the
far left and far r ight of the bottom r ow ,
neither of w hich contained the tr easur e.
Know ing this m ight w ell be the defining
m om ent of your car eer , you take Nueve?s note
in hand and tell your fellow officer s w hich
hole you all m ust investigate, know ing full
w ell that a good r eason w ill be r equir ed to
investigate any given hole. W hich hole
contains the Dog Thief ?s Tr easur e?