HARVEY tech script

Harvey
By Mary Chase
Performed through a special license with Samuel French.

Cast
MEN

Elwood P. Dowd: The central character of the play, a charming eccentric whose best friend is Harvey, an
invisible six-foot-tall rabbit. Elwood is well-mannered, friendly and kind. Vetas younger brother. Aged 28-
35. Major role

Dr. Chumley: Chumley is an esteemed psychiatrist and the head of Chumleys Experimental Rest Home
for the Mentally Askew. He is a difficult, exacting man who will go to any length to protect the reputation of
his sanitarium and his own reputation as one of the most renowned psychitriats in the world, but his
interaction with Elwood and Harvey reveal an unexpected vulnerability. Middle-aged. Major role
.
Dr. Sanderson: a young and highly qualified psychiatrist, handpicked by Chumley. His talent is only
surpassed by his vanity. He is as infatuated with Nurse Kelly as she is with him, though he struggles not
to let on. Aged 28-32. Major role.

Judge Gaffney: An old family friend of the Dowds and the familys lawyer. . .a little in love with Veta. Aged
50-70. Major role.
.
Wilson: A brute of a man, the muscle of Chumleys Rest, a devoted orderly responsible for handling the
patients who will not cooperate voluntarily. Aged 18-25. Major role.

E.J. Lofgren: a cab driver whose monologue about his sanitarium passengers is crucial to the climax of
the play. He has a single scene near the very end and would have a very limited rehearsal schedule.
Featured role (one scene).

WOMEN

Myrtle Mae Simmons: Vetas 17-year-old daughter (and Elwoods niece). Both Veta and Myrtle are about
the business of finding Myrtle a man to marry--a mission that is made impossible with Elwood and Harvey
constantly popping in. Myrtle is extremely self-centered. Major role.

Veta Simmons: Elwoods sister, Veta has returned to the family home after the death of her mother and is
intent on landing a suitable husband for her daughter Myrtle Mae.She is concerned about fitting into
society and all the social proprieties that that involves. She also loves her brother Elwood very much. This
is the dynamic that drives the action of the play. Aged 37-40. Major role.

Ethel Chauvenet: An old friend of the family. She is a leader of the towns social circle that Veta
desperately wants Myrtle to break into. Can be a scene stealer in the hands of the right actress.Aged 50-
70. Featured role (one scene)

Betty Chumley: Dr. Chumleys kind and talkative wife. Aged 30-35. Featured role (one scene)

Nurse Kelly: A pretty young woman who has a love/hate relationship with Dr. Sanderson. Aged 19-22.
Major role
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CAMEO ROLES (30 REASONS CAST MEMBERS)

GUESTS AT THE PARTY: nonspeaking

1. Mr. and Mrs. Cummings
2. Mayor
3. Old Man Jackson
4. School superintendent
5. Fire chief
6. Police chief
7. Mrs. Washington
8. Reverend Halsey

Mr. LAPIN: a real estate agent

DUMPHY: An attendant at the Mental Hospital
OFFICER WELTY: A policeman
HARVEYs VOICE

The show is set in the early 1940s.

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Act I, Scene 1

1943. The library of the old Dowd family mansion. A portrait of the lantern-jawed matriarch stands
above the mantelpiece. One door leads to the hall; the other one to the stairs to the back of the house.
A woman off-stage is singing Im called Little Buttercup. The phone rings. MYRTLE answers it.

MYRTLE: Mrs. Simmons? Mrs. Simmons is my mother, but she has guests this afternoon. (Listens, then
changes to a respectful tome.) Oh, wait just a minute. (Goes to the hall door and whispers
loudly.) PsstMother! (She motions several times before VETA enters, humming Buttercup.)

VETA: Yes, dear?

MYRTLE: Its the Society editor of the Evening News Bee. (VETA smoothes her hair and applies fresh
make-up before taking the phone and speaking in a very dignified voice.)

VETA: This is Veta Dowd Simmons. Yes, its a concert and tea for the members of the Founding Families
Friday Forum started by my mother, you know, the late Marcella Penney Dowdpioneer culture
leader, she came here by ox-team as a child. (Listens.) Myrtle, how many would you say are
here?

MYRTLE: Seventy-five. But tell her a hundred.

VETA: Seventy-five. Miss Tewksbury is the soloist.

MYRTLE: Hurry up. Miss Tewkesbury is almost finished with her solo.

VETA: Shell do an encore.

MYRTLE: What if they dont give her a lot of applause.

VETA: Ive known her for years. Shell do an encore. (In phone.) You might say Im entertaining assisted
by my daughtermy unmarried daughterthe lovely Myrtle Mae Simmons.

MYRTLE: Mother, please, shes almost finished.

VETA: Everythings fine. (In phone.) Thats right, Miss Ellerbe. This is the first party weve had in years.
(Listens.) Yes, there is a reason, but I dont want it in the papers. Every family has its own little
troubles.

MYRTLE: Mother! Mrs. Chauvenet just came in.

VETA: (In phone.) Yes, Mrs. Ethel Chauvenet. Her father was a scout with Buffalo Bill.

MYRTLE: So thats where she got that hat.

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VETA: (In phone.) And thank you. (Hangs up.) Myrtle, you must be nice to Mrs. Chauvenet. She has a
grandson about your age.

MYRTLE: But what difference will that make. . .with Uncle Elwood.

VETA: Myrtle May! We agreed not to talk about that this afternoon. The point of this party is to get you
to meet the parents of the most eligible young men in town.

MYRTLE: Why? We cant have anyone here in the evening, and thats when men come to see girls
theyre courting, in the evening. The only reason we can have this party this afternoon is that
Uncle Elwood is playing pinochle at the Fourth Avenue Firehouse.

VETA: But youve got to meet someone, Myrtle. Thats all there is to it.

MYRTLE: If I do, they say, Theres Myrtle Mae Simmons. Her uncle is Elwood P. Dowd, the biggest
screwball in town--Elwood P. Dowd, and his pal

VETA: You promised!

MYRTLE: Damn Uncle Elwood. And damn Harvey!

VETA: You said that name. You promised you wouldnt say that name, and you said it. And youre being
unkind. Even if people do call him peculiar, hes still my brother.

MYRTLE: Why cant we live like normal people?

VETA: Must I remind you again, Elwoods not living with uswe are living with him.

MYRTLE: Why did Grandmother have to leave all her property to Uncle Elwood?

VETA: Well, I suppose it was because he died in her arms. People are sentimental about things like that.

MYRTLE: You always say that, and it doesnt make any sense. She didnt make out her will after she died,
did she?

VETA: Miss Tewkesburys voice is fading.

MYRTLE: But not fast enough. (VETA pushes MYRTLE through the door leading to the parlor.)

VETA: (Calls.) Lovely, Miss Tewkesbury. Absolutely lovely? (As they exit, ELWOOD enter with the invisible
HARVEY. He holds the door for him and motions him to a chair. The phone rings)

ELWOOD: (To HARVEY.) Excuse me a moment. Make yourself comfortable. (In Phone.) Hello. No, youve
got the wrong number. But how are you anyway? This is Elwood P. Dowd speaking. (Listens) Ill
do? Why, thank you, dear. And what is your name, my dear? (To HARVEY.) Its a Miss Elsie
Greenawalt. (In phone.)And how are you today, Miss Greenawalt? (Listens) Yes, that does sound
like an offer too good to pass up. (To HARVEY.) Harvey, I can get the Ladies Home journal, Good
HARVEY tech script

Housekeeping, and the Open Road for Boys for just pennies a day . (In phone.) It sounds good,
Miss Greenawalt. (Listens to HARVEY, who has clearly interrupted, and then speaks in the
phone.) And Harvey says it sounds good to him, too. Yes, two subscriptions, please. Mail
everything to this address343 Temple Drive. And I do hope Ill have the pleasure of meeting
you face to face someday. (Listens, and then to HARVEY.) She says shed like to meet me. (In
phone.) When? (Listens.) When would you like to meet me? Why not right now? My sister
seems to be having a few friends in, and we would consider it an honor if you would join us. The
same address as the magazine subscriptions. I hope to see you in a few minutes. Goodbye, my
dear. (Hangs up.) Shes coming right over. Harvey, dont you think you and I better go freshen
up? (Exits the way he came in. As soon as hes gone, MYRTLE escorts ETHEL in.)

MYRTLE: Just wait here, Mrs. Chauvenet. Mother will be(VETA enters.)

ETHEL: Veta Louise Simmons, I thought you were dead!

VETA: Aunt Ethel! (They embrace.) As you can see, Im very much alive.

ETHEL: And this grown-up girl must be your daughter. (To Myrtle.) Ive known you since you were a baby.
Now, wheres Elwood?

VETA: (Nervously, with a look at MYRTLE.) He couldnt be here, Aunt Ethel. Now let me get you some
tea.

ETHEL: Elwood isnt here?

VETA: No.

ETHEL: No

ETHEL: Shame on him. That was the main reason I came. I want to see Elwood.

VETA: There are loads of people in there anxious to speak to you.

ETHEL: Do you realize, Veta, that its been years since Ive seen Elwood.

VETA: No, where does the time go? Now, if youll just come with me

ETHEL: I was saying to Mr. Chauvenet just the other night, what on earth has happened to Elwood Dowd.
He never comes to the club dances any more. I havent seen him at a horse show in years. Tell
me, is Elwood seeing anyone special these days? (VETA and MYRTLE exchange nervous glances.)

VETA: Oh, Elwood is seeing someone.

MYRTLE: Oh yes.

ETHEL: (To Myrtle.) Your uncle Elwood is one of my favorite people, child. Always has been.

VETA: Why theres Mrs. Cummings just come in the door. I know youll want to speak to her.
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ETHEL: (Looks into the hall.) She looks frightful. I thought she was dead. (Elwood enters.) Elwood!
Elwood Dowd!

ELWOOD: (Takes her hand and bows.) Aunt Ethel. What a pleasure to come home and find a beautiful
woman waiting for me.

ETHEL: (Fondly.) Elwood, you havent changed a bit.

VETA: Come along, Aunt Ethel. You mustnt miss the party. (Pulls.)

MYRTLE: (Also pulling her.) Theres punch if you dont like tea.

ETHEL: But I do like tea. Stop pulling on me, you two. Elwood, what night can you come to supper next
week?

ELWOOD: Any night at all. Id be delighted.

VETA: Elwood, theres mail for you today. I took it up to your bedroom.

MYRTLE: Some of it looked urgent!

ELWOOD: Did you, Veta? Thats very nice of you. Aunt Ethel, I want you to meet Harvey. As you can see,
hes a Pooka. (To HARVEY.) Harvey, youve often heard me speak of Mrs. Chauvenet. We always
called her Aunt Ethel. Shes one of my oldest and dearest friends. (Listens.) Yesyesthats
rightshes the one. (ETHEL looks around wildly.) Harvey said he would have known you
anywhere. Now come along, Harvey. We must say hello to the rest of the guest. (Bows to
Ethel.) I beg your pardon, Aunt Ethel. (Puts his hand gently on her arm.)

ETHEL: What?

ELWOOD: You are standing in his way. (To HARVEY.) Come along, Harvey. (He watches HARVEY cross to
the door.) Huh-uh (He straightens HARVEYs tie and takes a speck of dirt off his suit coat.) You
look fine. Now go right on in. (ELWOOD turns back to ETHEL.) Aunt Ethel, I can see youre
disturbed about Harvey. Please dont be. He stares like that at everyone. Its his way. But he
liked you. I could tell. He liked you very much. (He exits. There are a few moments of silence.)

ETHEL: Well, I think. . .I better be running along.

MYRTLE: But--?

VETA: Im so sorry.

ETHEL: Good bye. Good bye. (Runs out the door. MYRTLE starts after her, then sees whats happening in
the parlor.)

MYRTLE: Oh, God. Oh, my God! Uncle Elwoods introducing Harvey to everybody. Im never going to be
able to face those people again. I wish I were dead.
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VETA: Myrtle Mae!

MYRTLE: People get run over by trucks every day. Why cant something like that happen to Uncle
Elwood?

VETA: Myrtle Mae Simmons, Im ashamed of you. This thing is not your uncles fault. (Phone rings. VETA
answers it.)

MYRTLE: (Still watching the guests.) Mr. and Mrs. Cummings are leaving. And there goes the mayor!
Uncle Elwood must have told them what Harvey is. Oh, God

VETA: (On phone.) Hello, this is Mrs. Simmons. Should you come in the clothes you have on? Who is
this? (Listens.) But I dont know any Miss Greenawalt.

MYRTLE: There goes old man Jackson!

VETA: (Listens.) Should you what? Who invited you? (Listens.)

MYRTLE: The school superintendent is in such a hurry to get away that hes actually running!

MYRTLE: Oh, Mr. Dowd. (Listens.)

MYRTLE: The fire chief and the police chief are actually falling over Mrs. Washington in their hurry to get
away.

VETA: Thank you just the same, but I believe theres been a mistake! (Listens.) Well, stick it in your pipe
and smoke it to you, too. (Hangs up.) Well, I never!

MYRTLE: You never what?

VETA: One of your uncles friends. She asked if she should bring a quart of hooch to the Founding
Families Friday Forum!

MYRTLE: Oh, God. Now hes talking to Reverend Halsey!

VETA: Is Harvey with him?

MYRTLE: How can I tell? How can anyone tell except Uncle Elwood?

VETA: (Calls out.) Oh, Elwood, could I see you a moment? (To MYRTLE.) I promise youyour uncle
Elwood has disgraced us for the last time in this house. Im going to do something Ive never
done before.

MYRTLE: Youre no match for Uncle Elwood.

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VETA: Youll see. Now lift up your head and smile and go back in as if nothing had happened. (ELWOOD
enters as MYRTLE exits.) Elwood, I need to talk to you. Its very important. I need you to sit right
here in the study until the party is over. Can you do that for me?

ELWOOD: Of course, Sister. Ill wait right here.

VETA: Thank you. (Starts off.)

ELWOOD: Do you want Harvey to wait too?

VETA: (Very seriously.) Yes, Elwood. I certainly do. (She heads out. We hear the sound of a door close
and then the click of a lock. ELWOOD calmly looks through the books and slides a volume
out. Behind it is a flask. )

ELWOOD: Ahh. (He takes two glasses and fills them up, and then pulls up two chairs to the table.) Sit
down, Harvey. Veta wants to talk to us. She said it was important. I think she wants to
congratulate us on the impression we made at the party. (He inclines his head and
listens to HARVEY who is obviously asking about the book.) Charles Dickens. ( He sits
down and opens the book. Reads.)It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. . ..
HARVEY tech script

Act I, Scene 2: Chumleys Mental Hospital

An hour later. Leading off from the reception room is the front hall and the doors to the offices of Dr.
Chumley and Dr. Sandersonboth doors clearly labeled. Nurse Ruth Kelly is taking notes as she
talks to VETA.

NURSE KELLY: And you wish to enter your brother here at the mental hospital for treatment? Your
brothers name?

VETA: (Very upset.) Its sooh

NURSE KELLY: Mrs. Simmons, what is your brothers name?

VETA: Dowd. Elwood P. Dowd.

NURSE KELLY: And you have him with you now?

VETA: Hes in a taxi down in the driveway. (RUTH presses a buzzer.) I gave the driver a dollar to watch
him, but I didnt tell him why. You cant tell these things to strangers, can you? (WILSON
enters.)

NURSE KELLY: Mr. Wilson, would you step down to a taxi in the driveway and ask a Mr. Dowd if he would
be good enough to step up to room number 24South Wing G?

WILSON: (Pounding a fist.) Ask him?

NURSE KELLY: (With a warning look.) This is his sister.

WILSON: (With a weak attempt at a grin.) Why, certainly. Be glad to escort him. (Exits.)

NURSE KELLY: Now Ill see if Dr. Sanderson can see you.

VETA: Dr. Sanderson? I want to see Dr. Chumley himself.

NURSE KELLY: Mrs. Simmons, Dr. Sanderson is the one who sees everyone. Dr. Chumley sees no one.

VETA: Dr. Chumleys still head of this institution, isnt he? Hes still a psychiatrist, isnt he?

NURSE KELLY: (Shocked at such heresy.) Dr. Chumley is more than a psychiatrist. He is a psychiatrist with
a national reputation. Whenever people have mental breakdowns, they think at once of Dr.
Chumley.

VETA: I dont want to be pushed off onto a second fiddle.

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NURSE KELLY: Dr. Sanderson is nobodys second fiddle. (Glows with devotion.) He hasnt been out of
medical school very long, but Dr. Chumley tried out twelve assistants, and Dr. Sanderson is the
only one he kept. Hes absolutely wonderful(catches herself)to his patients, I mean.

VETA: Very well. Tell him Im here. (RUTH does to get him. VETA moves about the room, nervously.) Oh
dear. . .oh dear. (ELWOOD sticks his head in.)

ELWOOD: WILSON: Veta, isnt this wonderf---(WILSON drags him forcefully up the stairs. Dr. Sanderson
enters.)

SANDERSON: Mrs. Simmons?

VETA: (Jumps.) I didnt hear you come in.

NURSE KELLY: Im Dr. Sanderson. Have a seat, please.

VETA: Thank you. I hope you dont think Im jumpy like that all the time, but I

SANDERSON: Nurse Kelly tells me youre concerned about your brother?

VETA: Yes, Doctor. . .hes. . .this isnt easy for me, Doctor.

SANDERSON: Naturally these things arent easy for the families of our patients. I understand. Now, how
long has it been since you began to notice any peculiarity in your brothers actions?

VETA: I noticed it right away when Mother died, and Myrtle Mae and I came back home to live with
Elwood. I could see that he. . .that he. . .(looks pleadingly at SANDERSON.)

SANDERSON: That he what? Take your time, Mrs. Simmons.

VETA: Doctor, everything I say to you is confidential, isnt it?

SANDERSON: Thats understood.

VETA: Doctor, I want Elwood committed out here permanently because I cant stand another day of that
Harvey. Myrtle and I have to set a place at the table for Harvey. We have to move over on the
sofa and make a place for Harvey. We have to answer the telephone when Elwood calls and asks
to speak to Harvey. Then, at the party this afternoon(overcome, she pauses for a moment.)
We didnt know about Harvey until we came back here. Doctor, dont you think it would have
been a little kinder of Mother to have written and told me about Harvey?

SANDERSON: This person Harvey, who is he?

VETA: Hes a rabbit.

SANDERSON: Perhaps, but who is he? Someone your brother met in a bar, perhaps?
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VETA: Doctor, Ive been telling you. Harvey is a rabbit, a big white rabbit, six feet highor is it six feet
and a half? Heaven knows that I ought to know. Hes been around the house long enough.

SANDERSON: (Examining her suspiciously.) Now, Mrs. Simmons, let me understand this. . .you say

VETA: Doctor, do I have to keep repeating myself? My brothers closest friend is this big white rabbit.
The rabbit is named Harvey. Harvey lives at our house. He and Elwood go every place together.
Elwood buys theatre tickets, railroad tickets for both of them. As I told Myrtle Mayif your
uncle is so lonesome he had to bring something homewhy couldnt he bring home something
human? He has me, doesnt he? He has Myrtle Mae. (Leans forward.) Doctor, Im going to tell
you something Ive never told anybody in the world before. (Takes a deep breath.) Every once in
a while, I see that big white rabbit myself. Now isnt that terrible? Ive never even told Myrtle
Mae.

SANDERSON: (Convinced.) Mrs. Simmons

VETA: And whats more, hes every bit as big as Elwood says he is. But dont tell anybody I told you so.

SANDERSON: I can see that youve been under a great strain recently.

VETA: I certainly have.

SANDERSON: Grief over your mothers death has probably depressed you considerably.

VETA: Nobody knows how much.

SANDERSON: Been losing sleep?

VETA: How can anybody sleep with all this going on?

SANDERSON: Short-tempered over trifles?

VETA: You just trying living with those two and see how your temper holds up.

SANDERSON: (Presses buzzer.) Loss of appetite?

VETA: Who can eat at a table with my brother and a big white rabbit? Its too much, Doctor. I just cant
stand it.

SANDERSON: (Pressing buzzer repeatedly.) Of course, Mrs. Simmons. Of course. Youre tired.

VETA: Yes, I am.

SANDERSON: Youve been worrying a great deal.

VETA: Yes, I have. I cant help it.

SANDERSON: And now Im going to help you.

HARVEY tech script

VETA: Oh, Doctor. . ..(SANDERSON goes cautiously to the door, watching her.)

SANDERSON: You just sit there quietly, Mrs. Simmons. Ill be right back. (He exits.)

VETA: (Calls after him.) Ill just go down to the cab and pick up Elwoods things. (Exits through the other
door. SANDERSON, RUTH, and WILSON come back in.)

SANDERSON: I rang and rang and rang! (Looks around.) Mrs. Simmons? Sound the alarm, Wilson. That
poor woman must not leave the grounds.

WILSON: Shes made a getaway, huh, Doc? (RUTH presses a button and we hear an alarm.)

SANDERSON: Her condition is serious. Go after her. (WILSON exits. SANDERSON picks up the phone.)

SANDERSON: Main gate? This is Dr. Sanderson. Allow no one out of the main gate. Were looking for a
patient. I shouldnt have left her alone, but no one answered my buzzer. (Hangs up.) Nurse Kelly,
as soon as Wilson brings her back, have her taken to a room immediately, and I will prescribe
preliminary treatment. I must contact her brother. (Looks at file.) Dowd, is the name. Elwood P.
Dowd. Get him on the telephone for me, will you, Nurse Kelly?

NURSE KELLY: But, Doctor, I didnt know it was the woman who needed treatment. She said it was for
her brother.

SANDERSON: Of course she did. Its the oldest dodge in the worldfrequently used by a cunning type of
psychopath. She apparently knew that her brother was about to commit her, so she came out
here to discredit him. Get him on the telephone, please.

NURSE KELLY: But, Doctor, I thought the woman was all right, so I had Wilson take the brother up to the
South Wing. Hes there now.

SANDERSON: (In horror.) You had Wilson take the brother up? Dont joke, Kelly. You cant be serious.

NURSE KELLY: But I did, Doctor. Im terribly sorry.

SANDERSON: (Sarcastically.) Oh, if youre sorry, that fixes everything. (RUTH frantically dials the phone.)

NURSE KELLY: Dunphywill you please unlock the door to Number 24 and give Mr. Dowd his clothes and
(looks questioningly at SANDERSON.)

SANDERSON: Ask him to step down to the office right away.

NURSE KELLY: Ask him to step down to the office right away. Theres been a terrible mistake, and Dr.
Sanderson wants to explain

SANDERSON: Explain! Apologize!

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NURSE KELLY: (Hangs up.) Thank heaven they havent put him in the hydro tub yet. Doctor, I feel
terrible. Judge Gaffney called and said Mrs. Simmons and her brother would be coming out
here, and when she came in

SANDERSON: Stop worrying. Well squirm out of it some way. (Starts out.)

NURSE KELLY: Where are you going?

SANDERSON: Ive got to tell Dr. Chumley about it. He may prefer to handle it himself.

NURSE KELLY: Hell be furious. I know he will. Hell die. And then hell fire me.

SANDERSON: The responsibility is all mine.

NURSE KELLY: But this man Dowd

SANDERSON: Just dont let him get away. Ill be right back.

NURSE KELLY: But what can I say to him? Hell be furious.

SANDERSON: Look, Kelly, hell probably be fit to be tied. . .but hes a man, isnt he?

NURSE KELLY: Yes, but what

SANDERSON: Go into your routine. You knowthe eyesthe swishthe works. (He demonstrates.)
Im immune to it, but its sure to work on other men. Keep him here, Kelly, even if you have to
do a striptease to do it. (He exits. RUTH is furious.)

NURSE KELLY: Go into your routine. Well, of all theoh, youre wonderful, Dr. Sanderson. Youre just
the most wonderful(WILSON enters.)

WILSON: Got that Simmons dame. Slick as a whistle. (Acts it out.) She was coming along the path,
humming a little tune. I jumped out at her from behind a tree. I says, Sister, theres a man
wants you. Shoulda heard her yell. Shes wacky, all right. I took her up to No. 13. She was
screamin and kickin like hell. Ill hold her down if youll come and undress her.

NURSE KELLY: Ill be up in a second, Wilson. Dr. Sanderson told me to stay here until her brother comes.
(WILSON exits as ELWOOD enters. He wears his hat and coat and carries ones for HARVEY) Mr.
Dowd?

ELWOOD: (Bows.) Elwood P. Let me give you one of my cards. If you want to call me, call me at this
number. Dont call me at that one. Its the old number.

NURSE KELLY: Thank you. Im Nurse Kelly.

ELWOOD: Dont worry if you lose it. I have plenty more.

NURSE KELLY: Wont you have a chair, Mr. Dowd?

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ELWOOD: Thank you. Ill have two. (Arranges one for himself and one for HARVEY He puts HARVEYs
clothes on a chair and motions HARVEY to sit.)

NURSE KELLY: Dr. Sanderson is anxious to talk to you. Hell be right back. Please be seated.

ELWOOD: After you, my dear.

NURSE KELLY: I really cant. Im in and out. But could I get you a magazine to look at?

ELWOOD: Id rather look at you. Youre very lovely.

NURSE KELLY: Oh. . .well. . .thank you. Some people dont think so.

ELWOOD: Then some people are blind. And now, Miss Kelly, Id like to have you meet(SANDERSON
hurries in.)

SANDERSON: Mr. Dowd?

ELWOOD: Elwood P. Let me give you one of my cards. If you should need to

SANDERSON: Im Dr. Lyman Sanderson, Dr. Chumleys assistant.

ELWOOD: Well, good for you! Im happy to know you. How are you, Doctor?

SANDERSON: That going to depend on you, Im afraid. Please sit down. I assume youve met Nurse
Kelly?

ELWOOD: I had that pleasure, and Id like both of you to meet a very dear friend of mine

SANDERSON: Later onbe glad to. Wont you be seated, because first I want to say

ELWOOD: After Miss Kelly.

SANDERSON: Sit down, Kelly! (She does. ELWOOD sits and indicates for HARVEY to sit back down.)Is
that chair quite comfortable, Mr. Dowd?

ELWOOD: Yes, indeed. Would you like to try it? (He stands up to offer his chair.)

SANDERSON: Now then, Mr. Dowd, I can see youre not the type of person to be taken in by any high-
flown phrases or any beating about the bush.

ELWOOD: (Politely.) Is that so, Doctor?

SANDERSON: You have us at a disadvantage. You know it. I know it. Even Kelly here knows it. Lets be
frank with each other.

ELWOOD: That certainly appeals to me, Doctor.

HARVEY tech script

SANDERSON: Best way in the long run. People are people no matter where you go.

ELWOOD: That is very often the case.

SANDERSON: And being human, were often likely to make mistakes. Nurse Kelly and I have made a
mistake this afternoon, and wed like to explain it to you.

NURSE KELLY: It wasnt Dr. Sandersons fault. It was mine.

SANDERSON: A human failingas I said.

ELWOOD: This is very interesting. You and Miss Kelly here? (They nod.) This afternoon? (They nod.
ELWOOD gives HARVEY a knowing look.)

NURSE KELLY: We hope you understand, Mr. Dowd.

ELWOOD: Oh, yes. Little mistakes like these are often the basis of a long and warm relationship.

SANDERSON: And the responsibility is, of course, not hersbut mine.

ELWOOD: Your attitude may be old-fashioned, Doctor, but I like it.

SANDERSON: Now if I had seen your sister first, that would have been an entirely different story.

ELWOOD: Now there you surprise me, Doctor. I think the world and all of Veta, but I would have thought
she had seen her day.

SANDERSON: You must not attach any blame to her. She is a very sick woman. Came here insisting you
were in need of treatment.

ELWOOD: Veta shouldnt be upset about me. I get along fine. (Takes out a cigarette.)

SANDERSON: Is there something I can get for you, Mr. Dowd?

ELWOOD: What did you have in mind?

SANDERSON: A light! Here, let me give you a light. (Lights ELWOODs cigarette. ELWOOD waves the
smoke away from HARVEY.) Does your sister drink, Mr. Dowd?

ELWOOD: Oh, no Doctor. I dont believe Veta has ever taken a drink.

SANDERSON: Well, Im going to surprise you. I think she has. . .and does. . .constantly.

ELWOOD: I am certainly surprised.

HARVEY tech script

SANDERSON: But its not her alcoholism thats the basis for my diagnosis. Its more serious than that. It
was when she began talking so emotionally about this big white rabbitHarvey. I believe she
called him Harvey.

ELWOOD: Harvey is his name.

SANDERSON: She claimed you were persecuting her with this Harvey.

ELWOOD: Veta shouldnt feel that way! And now, Doctor, before we go any further, I must insist you let
me introduce

SANDERSON: Let me make my point first, Mr. Dowd. Your sisters condition is serious. . .but I can help
her. She must, however, remain here.

ELWOOD: Ive always wanted Veta to have everything she needs.

SANDERSON: Exactly.

ELWOOD: But I wouldnt want her to stay out here unless she liked it and wanted to stay.

SANDERSON: Mr. Dowd, if this were an ordinary delusionif she were seeing something she had seen
oncethat would be one thing. But this is more serious. It stands to reason that nobody has
ever seen a white rabbit six feet high.

ELWOOD: (Smiles at Harvey.) Not very often, Doctor.

SANDERSON: I like your sense of humor, Mr. Dowd.

ELWOOD: I like you, too, Doctor. And Miss Kelly.

SANDERSON: So she must be committed here temporarily. Under these circumstances, I would commit
my own grandmother.

ELWOOD: Does your grandmother drink, too?

SANDERSON: Its just an expression. Now will you sign these commitment papers as next of kin?

ELWOOD: You better have Veta do that, Doctor. She always does all the signing and managing for the
family. Shes good at it.

SANDERSON: We cant disturb her now.

ELWOOD: Then maybe I better talk it over with Judge Gaffneyhes a family friend. (Confidentially
including Harvey)

SANDERSON: You can explain it to him later. Tell him I advised it. And it isnt as if you cant drop in here
any time and make inquiries. Ill make out a visitors pass for you. When would you like to come
back? Wednesday? Friday?
HARVEY tech script

ELWOOD: You and Miss Kelly have been so pleasant, I can come back right after dinner. Say, an hour
from now?

SANDERSON: Well, were pretty busy around here

ELWOOD: Actually, Im not very hungry. I can just stay.

SANDERSON: Nurse Kelly and I have to get upstairs now to work with the patients. But--(Shaking
hands.)--its been a great pleasure to have this little talk with you, Mr. Dowd. (Hands him the
pass that RUTH filled out.)

ELWOOD: Since we all seem to have enjoyed it this much, lets keep right on. Id like to invite you to
come with me now down to Charlies place and have a drink.

SANDERSON: Sorry, were on duty now. Give us a rain-check. Some other time.

ELWOOD: When?

SANDERSON: Oh, cant say right now. Nurse Kelly and I are on duty until 10 oclock tonight

ELWOOD: Ten oclock it is!

SANDERSON: Uh. . . .

ELWOOD: And you, Miss Kelly?

NURSE KELLY: I. . .uh. . .

SANDERSON: Dr. Chumley doesnt approve of staff fraternizing, but since youve been so understanding,
perhaps we could manage it.

ELWOOD: Ill pick you up in a cab here at ten tonight, and the four of us will spend a very happy evening.
I want you both to become friends with a very dear friend of mine. You said later on, so later on
it will be. Good bye now! (Motions good bye to HARVEY, then he leaves.)

NURSE KELLY: Whew! I can breathe again.

SANDERSON: Boy, that was a close shave, but I think I handled it well. You can get to almost anyone if
you want to. Now I must look in on that Simmons woman.

NURSE KELLY: Dr. Sanderson! You said you can get to anyone if you want to. How do you do that?

SANDERSON: Takes study, Kelly. Years of specialized training. Theres only one thing I dont like about
this Dowd business.

NURSE KELLY: Whats that?

HARVEY tech script

SANDERSON: Having to make that date with him. Of course, you dont have to go.

NURSE KELLY: Oh!

SANDERSON: No point in it. Ill have a drink with him, pat him on the back, talk up the Institute, then
leave. Ive got my own date tonight, anyway.

NURSE KELLY: (Coldly.) Oh, yesI didnt intend to go anyway. The idea bores me stiff. I wouldnt go even
if I never went anywhere again. I wouldnt go if my life depended on it.

SANDERSON: Whats gotten into you, Kelly?

NURSE KELLY: He may be a peculiar man with funny clothes, but hes a gentleman and kind.

SANDERSON: Yeah, I saw you giving him that doll-puss stare.

NURSE KELLY: He wouldnt sit down until I sat down. He told me I was lovely, and he called me dear. Id
go have a drink with him. . .if you werent going.

SANDERSON: Sure you would. And look at him! He doesnt work. All that corny bowing and such. Hes
as outdated as a cast-iron skillet. Yet youd sit in a bar with him and let him flatter you and(DR.
CHUMLEY enters.)

CHUMLEY: Dr. Sanderson! Nurse Kelly! (They jump apart guiltily.)

RUTH and SANDERSON: Yes, doctor.

CHUMLEY: The difficulty with the woman who sees the large white rabbithas it been smoothed over?
(He moves around the room, obsessively straightening anything that is slightly out of place.)

SANDERSON: Yes, doctor. I spoke to her brother, and he was most reasonable.

CHUMLEY: Ive never before had a patient with an animal that large.

SANDERSON: She calls him Harvey.

CHUMLEY: The case is most interesting. It may be that we can use my formula 977 on her.

SANDERSON: Formula 977?

NURSE KELLY: But, Doctor

CHUMLEY: And what is this hat and coat doing in here? Whose is it?

SANDERSON: Mr. Dowds?

NURSE KELLY: No, he had his hat and coat on when he left.
HARVEY tech script

CHUMLEY: HAND ME THE HAT. It may have some sort of identification in it. (Looks inside.) Here, whats
this? (Pushes fingers through.) Two holes in the crown of this hat. See?

NURSE KELLY: Thats strange.

CHUMLEY: Some silly fad. Take them away. (Kelly hangs them on the coat tree. WILSON comes inhe
greatly admires CHUMLEY.)

WILSON: Hello, Dr. Chumley. (CHUMLEY nods.) Look, somebodys gonna have to give me a hand with
this Simmons dameorder a restraining jacket or something. Shes terrible. (To RUTH.) You
never came up to help change her, but I got her corset off all by myself. Shes in the hydro tub
my God, I left the water running on her! (They all run out. After a moment, MRS. CHUMLEY
enters in time to stop DR. CHUMLEY.)

MRS. CHUMLEY: Willie! You havent forgotten about Dr. McClures cocktail party, have you? We
promised to attend.

CHUMLEY: I have to go upstairs and look on a patient. (Exits.)

MRS. CHUMLEY: (Calls after him.) Well, diagnose them quickly. We dont want to be late. (ELWOOD
enters and looks around for HARVEY.) Good evening.

ELWOOD: (Bows.) Good evening.

MRS. CHUMLEY: Im Betty Chumley, Dr. Chumleys wife.

ELWOOD: Im happy to know that. Dowd is my name. Elwood P. Dowd. Let me give you one of my
cards. If you want to call me, call me at this number. Dont call me at that one because its the
old one. (Looks around.)

MRS. CHUMLEY: Is there something I can do for you?

ELWOOD: What did you have in mind?

MRS. CHUMLEY: You seem to be looking for someone.

ELWOOD: Im looking for Harvey. I went off without him.

MRS. CHUMLEY: Harvey? Is he a patient here?

ELWOOD: Oh, no. Nothing like that.

MRS. CHUMLEY: Does he work here?

ELWOOD: Oh, no. Hes what you might call my best friend. He is also a pooka. He came out here with
Veta and me this afternoon.

MRS. CHUMLEY: Where was he when you last saw him?

HARVEY tech script

ELWOOD: Sitting right there. He put his hat and coat on that table.

MRS. CHUMLEY: There doesnt seem to be a hat and coat around here now. Perhaps he left.

ELWOOD: Apparently. I dont see him anywhere.

MRS. CHUMLEY: What was that you called him. . .a pooka? Is that something new?

ELWOOD: Oh, no. As I understand it, thats something very old.

MRS. CHUMLEY: Really? Id never heard it before.

ELWOOD: Im not too surprised at that. I hadnt myself until I met him. I do hope you get an
opportunity to meet him. Im sure hed be quite taken with you.

MRS. CHUMLEY: Thats very nice of you to say so.

ELWOOD: Not at all. If Harvey happens to take a liking to people, he expresses himself quite definitely. If
hes not particularly interested, he sits there like an empty chair. Harvey takes his time making
up his mind about people. Choosey, you see.

MRS. CHUMLEY: Thats not a bad way to be in this day and age.

ELWOOD: Harvey is very fond of my sister, Veta. Thats because he is fond of me, and Veta and I come
from the same family. Now youd think the feeling would be mutual, wouldn't you. But Veta
doesnt seem to care for Harvey. Dont you think thats rather too bad?

MRS. CHUMLEY: Oh, I dont know. I gave up a long time ago expecting my family to like my friends.

ELWOOD: But we must keep trying, mustnt we?. Because if Harvey has said to me once, hes said to me
a million times, Mr. Dowd, I would do anything for you. (Changes subject.) Mrs. Chumley,
would you like to come downtown with me right now? Ill buy you a drink or a cup of coffee.

MRS. CHUMLEY: Thank you very much, but Im waiting for Dr. Chumley. If he found me gone, hed be
irritated.

ELWOOD: We wouldnt want that. Some other time, then?

MRS. CHUMLEY: Ill tell you what Ill do.

ELWOOD: What will you do? Im very interested.

MRS. CHUMLEY: If your friend comes in while Im still here, Ill give him a message from you.

ELWOOD: (Gratefully.) Would you do that? Id certainly appreciate it.

MRS. CHUMLEY: What would you like me to tell him?

HARVEY tech script

ELWOOD: Ask him to meet me downtown. . .if he has no other plans.

MRS. CHUMLEY: Any particular place downtown?

ELWOOD: He knows where. Harvey knows this town like a book.

MRS. CHUMLEY: Ill tell you what. My husband and I are going downtown to a cocktail party at Dr.
McClures at 12th and Longview. We could give your friend a lift into town.

ELWOOD: I hate to impose on you, but Id certainly appreciate that.

MRS. CHUMLEY: No trouble at all. Dr. McClure is having this party for his sister from Wichita.

ELWOOD: I didnt know that Dr. McClure had a sister in Wichita.

MRS. CHUMLEY: Oh, you know Dr. McClure?

ELWOOD: No.

MRS. CHUMLEY: But. . .

ELWOOD: Its been very pleasant to meet you, and I hope to see you again.

MRS. CHUMLEY: So do I.

ELWOOD: Good night. (Tips hat.) You cant miss Harvey. Hes very tall. Like that. (Shows with hands,
and then exits. CHUMLEY enters followed by SANDERSON and NURSE KELLY.)

CHUMLEY: That Simmons woman is uncooperative, Dr. Sanderson. She refused to admit to me that she
sees this big rabbit. Insists its her brother. Give her two of these at nineanother at tenif
she continues to be so restless. Another trip to the hydro room tonight at eight, and one in the
morning at seven. Then well see if shell cooperate tomorrow. (To BETTY.) Ready, pet?

MRS. CHUMLEY: Yes, Willie. Oh, and Williethere was a man here, a man namedlet me see(picks
up card)Dowd. Elwood P. Dowd. (RUTH enters.) He was looking for someone

CHUMLEY: He mustnt see his sister tonight. (To SANDERSON.) If he comes back, tell him so.

MRS. CHUMLEY: He wasnt looking for his sister. He said he was looking for someone he came out here
with this afternoon.

SANDERSON: Was there anyone with Dowd when you saw him this afternoon, Kelly?

NURSE KELLY: Not when I saw him.

MRS. CHUMLEY: Well, he said there was. He said he last saw his friend sitting right there in that chair
with his hat and coat. (A funny look begins to cross RUTHs face.) He seemed quite disappointed.
HARVEY tech script

NURSE KELLY: Dr. Sanderson

MRS. CHUMLEY: I told him that if we could locate his friend, wed give him a ride downtown. Thats all
right, isnt it, dear?

CHUMLEY: Of course.

MRS. CHUMLEY: His friends name is Harvey.

NURSE KELLY: Harvey!

MRS. CHUMLEY: He didnt give me his last name. He mentioned something else about himpookabut
I didnt quite get what that was.

NURSE KELLY and SANDERSON: Harvey !

MRS. CHUMLEY: He said his friend was very tall. . .why are you all looking at me like that? This man was
very nice, and he merely asked if we could give his friend a ride back into town, and if we cant
do a favor for someone from time to time, why are we living?

SANDERSON: Where did he go, Mrs. Chumley?

NURSE KELLY: How long ago was he in here?

CHUMLEY: GET ME THAT HAT! By George, well find out about this. (RUTH exits to get the hat.) Stop
him.

MRS. CHUMLEY: I dont know where he went. But he was here just a second ago.

SANDERSON: (On house phone) Main gate. . ..

CHUMLEY: (Thumbing through phone book.) Gaffney, Judge Gaffney.

SANDERSON: Henry, did a man in a brown suit go out through the gate a minute ago? He did? Hes
gone? (Hangs up and looks stricken. RUTH enters with the hat.)

CHUMLEY: (On phone.) Judge Gaffney, this is Dr. William Chumleythe psychiatrist. Im making a routine
check on the spelling of a name before entering it in our records. Judgeyou telephoned out
here this afternoon about having a client of yousr committed. How is the name of the person
you want committed spelled? (Listens.) With a W and not a U. Elwood P. Dowd. Thank you,
Judge. (A beat.) Dr. Sanderson--?

SANDERSON: Dowd seemed lucid enough this afternoon.

CHUMLEY: You went to medical school, yes? You specialized in the study of psychiatry? You graduated?
You went forth? (Picks up hat.)But perhaps they neglected to tell you that a rabbit has long
pointed ears. That a hat for a rabbit would have to be perforated to make room for these hear.
HARVEY tech script

SANDERSON: Dowd seemed reasonable and--

CHUMLEY: Doctor, the function of a psychiatrist is to tell the difference between those who are
reasonable and those who merely act and talk reasonably. (Presses intercom buzzer.) Do you
realize what youve done to me? Dont answer. Ill tell you. You have permitted a psychopath to
walk off these grounds and wander around with an overgrown white rabbit. You have subjected
mea man who is perhaps the worlds most skilled psychiatristto the humiliation of having to
callof all thingsa lawyer to find out who came to my sanitarium to be committed and who
came here to commit.

SANDERSON: Dr. Chumley

CHUMLEY: Just a minute. (In intercom). Wilson, I want you. (To SANDERSON.) I will now have to do
something that I have never done in my fifteen years of being a psychiatrist. I will have to go out
after this patient, Elwood P. Dowd, and bring him back here, and when I do bring him back, your
connection with this institution is ended. . .as of that moment. (WILSON enters.) Wilson, get the
car. (To his wife.) Betty, call the McClures and tell them we cant make it. (To Ruth). Nurse Kelly,
come upstairs with me and get that woman out of the hydro tub! (Turns and heads out of the
room.)

NURSE KELLY: Yes, Doctor. (Exits.)

MRS. CHUMLEY: Wilson!

WILSON: Yes, maam.

MRS. CHUMLEY: What is a pooka?

WILSON: You can search me, maam.

MRS. CHUMLEY: (Heads out.) Cook is going to be furious! (WILSON gets out a volume of the
encyclopedia and looks up pooka.)

WILSON: P-o-o-k-a. Pooka. (Reads.) From old Celtic mythology. A fairy spirit in animal form. Always
very large. The pooka appears here and there, now and then, to this one and that one. . .at his
own caprice. A wise but mischievous creature. (HARVEYs voice joins in reading with WILSON.)

WILSON and HARVEYs VOICE: Very fond of rum pots, crack pots, and . . . (WILSONs voice trails off.)

HARVEYs VOICE: . . .how are you today, Mr. Wilson? (WILSON slams the volume shut and begins
whirling around, looking for the speaker.) You didnt answer me, Mr. Wilson.

WILSON: Who wants to know?

HARVEYs VOICE: I do, Mr. Wilson. (Wilson screams and runs out. The sound of HARVEYs laughter is
heard)
HARVEY tech script

Act I, Scene 3

The Dowd library. About an hour later. The doorbell rings and rings. MYRTLE walks Mr. Lapin, the real
estate agent, in through the doors to the back entrance.

MYRTLE: Just go on up those back stairs to the third floor. Ill be right up. (She starts to the front door,
but JUDGE GAFFNEYwho has let himself inintercepts her.)

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Where is she?

MYRTLE: Who?

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Wheres Veta Louise?

MYRTLE: Judge Gaffney, you know where she is. She took Uncle Elwood out to the sanitarium.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: I know that. But what did she call me at the club, half out of her mind? Hysterical, she
was. I couldnt even get what she was carrying on about. I had to leave my canasta game
partway through!

MYRTLE: Thats strange. All she had to do is was commit Uncle Elwood.

LAPINS VOICE: I found it!

MYRTLE: (Calls.) Ill be right up?

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Whats going on?

MYRTLE: As soon as Mother left the house with Uncle Elwood, I called a real estate office to put the
house on the market.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Now see here, Myrtle Mae. The house doesnt belong to you. It belongs to Elwood.

MYRTLE: But now that Elwoods locked up, Mother controls all his property, doesnt she?

JUDGE GAFFNEY: And I suppose you think you control your mother.

MYRTLE: Is the deed to the house in your office?

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Secure in my safe. Myrtle, I feel pretty bad about this locking Elwood up.

MYRTLE: Why? Mother and I can take a long trip nowbuy anything we want.
HARVEY tech script

JUDGE GAFFNEY: I always liked Elwood. He could have done anythingbeen anythingmade a place for
himself in this community.

MYRTLE: And instead all he did was get a big rabbit.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: He had everything. Brains, personality, friends. Men liked him. Women liked him.
Even I liked him.

MYRTLE: Youre telling me Uncle Elwood actually had girlfriends?

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Oh, not since he started running around with this big white rabbit. But he did once.

MYRTLE: I cant believe it.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Of course, there was always something a little different about Elwood.

MYRTLE: That I can believe.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Yes, he was always so calm about any change of plan. I used to admire it. Looking
back, though, I should have been suspicious. Take your average man looking up and seeing a big
white rabbit. Hed do something about it. But not Elwood. He took that calmly, too. (VETA
comes running incompletely disheveled and wild.)

MYRTLE: Mother!

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Veta! Whats wrong, girl?

MYRTLE: Grab her, Judge. She looks like shes going to faint. Now, Mother, youre all right.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Steady, girl, steady.

MYRTLE: Get her someplace she can sit down.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Get her some tea, Myrtle. Do you want some tea, Veta?

MYRTLE: Ill get you some tea, Mother. Get her coat off, Judge.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Let Myrtle get your coat off, Veta. Get her coat off, Myrtle.

VETA: Leave me alone! Let me sit here. Let me get my breath.

MYRTLE: Let her get her breath, Judge.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: What happened to you, Veta?

VETA: Omar, I want you to sue them. They put me in and they let Elwood out! Just look at my hair!

MYRTLE: But what did you do? What did you say? You must have done something, Mother.
HARVEY tech script

VETA: I didnt do one single thing. I told them about Elwood and Harvey. Then I went down to the cab to
get his things. As I was walking along the path, this awful man stepped out. He was a white
slaver. I know he was. He was dressed all in white. . .thats how they advertise.

MYRTLE: What did he do to you, Mother?

VETA: What did he do? He grabbed me, and then he dragged me in there, and then he. . .(She breaks
down. MYRTLE and the JUDGE exchange a look.)

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Go on, Veta.

MYRTLE: Poor Mother. Was he a young man? Was he handsome?

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Myrtle, perhaps you had better leave the room.

MYRTLE: Now? I should say not. What did he do, Mother?

VETA: He took me upstairs. . .and he tore all my clothes off.

MYRTLE: (Excited.) Go on, Mother.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: By God, Ill sue them for this.

MYRTLE: And then. . .and then. . .

MYRTLE and JUDGE GAFFNEY: Yes?

VETA: He put me in. . .he put me in. . .he put me in. . .a therapeutic hydro tub!

JUDGE GAFFNEY: No!

MYRTLE: What?

VETA: That man took hold of me like I was a woman of the streets. But I fought. I always said that if a
man jumped me, Id fight. Didnt I always say that, Myrtle Mae?

MYRTLE: She always said that, Judge.

VETA: And then those doctors came upstairs and started asking me a lot of questions. . .all about sex
urges and filthy stuff like that. Judge, youve got to do something about it. Youve got to sue
them.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: I will, girl. By God, I will. By God, Ill run them out of the state! Now let me take some
notes on this. (Takes out notepad.) Dr. Chumleyand what was the other doctors name?
HARVEY tech script

VETA: (Nervously) Sanderson. But, Omar, dont pay any attention to anything he tells you. Hes a liar.
Close-set eyestheyre always liars. Besides, I told him something in strict confidence. . .and he
blabbed it.

MYRTLE: What did you tell him, Mother?

VETA: I dont want to talk about it. I want to sue them. And I want to get into my own bed.

MYRTLE: But, Mother, the important thingwhere is Uncle Elwood?

VETA: (To herself.) I should have known better than to try to do anything about him. Something protects
him. . .that awful Pooka. . .

MYRTLE: Where is Uncle Elwood? Answer me!

VETA: How should I know? They let him go. Theyre not interested in men in those places. (LAPIN pokes
his head in the door.)

LAPIN: Im going to look at the basement! (Exits.)

VETA: Who was that?

MYRTLE: I found a buyer for the house. And, listen, Motherno matter who jumped you, weve still got
to lock up Uncle Elwood.

VETA: Wait until Elwood hears what they did to me. He wont stand for it.

MYRTLE: But, Mother

VETA: Myrtle Mae, my one hope for your future is that never, never as long as you live, a man pulls the
clothes off you and dumps you in a hydro-tub! (Exits.)

MYRTLE: Mother muffed everything! And its all Uncle Elwoods fault. He found out what she was up to,
and he had her put in. Then he ran!

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Your uncle thinks the world and all of your mother. Ever since he was a little boy, he
wanted to share everything he had with her.

MYRTLE: Judge, you better save some of that sympathy for me and Mother. You dont realize what we
have to put up with. Wait till I show you something he brought home about six months ago. We
hid it in the garbage. (She exits. JUDGE looks at his notes and shakes his head.)

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Theres more to this than Vetas telling me. Shes hiding something. (WILSON enters.)

WILSON: Okay, is he here?

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Whats this?

HARVEY tech script

WILSON: The crackpot with the rabbit. Is he here?

JUDGE GAFFNEY: No, and, may I ask, who are you?

WILSON: (Calls out to the hall.) Not here, Doc. (To JUDGE,) Doc Chumleys comin in anyways. Whats
your name?

JUDGE GAFFNEY: I am Judge Gaffney, but

WILSON: (Calls out to the hall.) This guy says his name is Judge Gaffney. (CHUMLEY enters.)

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Chumley, what is the meaning

DR. CHUMLEY: Good evening, Judge Gaffney. Lets not waste time. Has he been here?

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Elwood? No, but see here

WILSON: Sure he aint been here? Hes onto us nowhe might be hidin out.

DR. CHUMLEY: That makes it more difficult, but I will find him. Theyre sly. Theyre cunning. But I get
them. I always get them in the end.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Dr. Chumley, I have to inform you that Mrs. Simmons has retained me to file suit
against you for what happened to her at your sanitarium this afternoon.

DR. CHUMLEY: What happened this afternoon was an unfortunate mistake. Ive already discharged my
assistant who made it. And I am prepared to take charge of the Dowd case personally.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: But this business this afternoon

DR. CHUMLEY: Water under the dam. (MYRTLE enters with a large wrapped portrait.) The important
thing now is to find Dowd and lock him up for life in the Sanitarium where he belongs.

MYRTLE: Thats right! (To CHUMLEY.) Im Myrtle Mae Simmons, Mr. Dowds niece and Mrs. Simmons
daughter. (WILSON takes particular notice of her, and she begins to notice him.)

DR. CHUMLEY: How do you do. (To the JUDGE.) Now let me talk to Mrs. Simmons.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: See here, Mrs. Simmons was man-handled by one of your attendants. She was. . .she
was. . .God knows what! Your mans approach to her was not professional. . .it was personal. .
.and (whispers) invasive!

DR. CHUMLEY: Wilson, this is a serious charge.

WILSON: Doc, I been with you ten years. Are you gonna believe the word of this old blister and a dame
who sees a giant rabbit?

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Its not Mrs. Simmons who sees the rabbit. Its her brother.
HARVEY tech script

DR. CHUMLEY: I still need to talk with her.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: We can see if shell talk to you. Come with me, Doctor.

DR. CHUMLEY: Wilson, youll stay here. ( JUDGE and CHUMLEY exit. MYRTLE eyes WILSON with
fascination.)

MYRTLE: So youre the brute who molested my mother?

DR. CHUMLEY: So your names Myrtle Mae?

MYRTLE: (Backing away.) Uh. . .yes. . .

WILSON: If we snatch your uncle, youre liable to be comin out to the sanitarium on visiting days?

MYRTLE: Oh, I dont know. . .I. . .

WILSON: If you do, Ill be there.

MYRTLE: You will?

WILSON: And if you dont see me right away, dont give up. Stick around, and Ill show up.

MYRTLE: You will?

WILSON: Sure I will, for a cute cookie like you. Now, while Im waiting, I could sure use a cup o joe.

MYRTLE: I guessif youll come into the kitchen

WILSON: Yessirree, youre all right, Myrtle.

MYRTLE: I am?

WILSON: And Ill tell you somethin else.

MYRTLE: What?

WILSON: Not only do you have a great build, but you got the screwiest uncle ever stuck his puss inside
our nuthouse. (MYRTLE stalks off. WILSONthinking hes done a great job of wooing herpuffs
out his chest, straightens his hair, checks his breath and underarm smell, and then struts after
her. A beat, and then ELWOOD enters. He goes to the phone and dials.)

ELWOOD: (In phone) Hello, Chumleys Rest? Is Dr. Chumley there? (Listens.) Oh, hello, Mrs. Chumley!
This is Elwood P. Dowd speaking. How are you? (Listens.) Tell me, were you able to locate
Harvey? (Listens.) Dont worry about it. Ill find him. But I was sorry to miss you at the
McClures cocktail party. The people were charming, and I was able to leave quite a few of my
cards. I waited until you phoned to say you couldnt make it because a patient had escaped.
HARVEY tech script

(Listens.) Where am I? Im here. But Im leaving right away. I must find Harvey. Good bye. (He
hangs up and sees the parcel.) Why, there it is! (He takes off the paper to reveal a huge portrait
of Elwood sitting on a chair while behind him stands a large white rabbit in a blue polka-dot
collar and red necktie. ELWOOD surveys it proudly and looks for a place to put it. Finally he puts
it in front of the portrait of Marcella Pinney Dowd. He gathers up the wrapping paper, tips his
hat to it, and exits. A beat later, VETA stamps in followed by CHUMLEY.)

VETA: Doctor, you might as well go home. Im suing you for fifty thousand dollars, and thats final. (Her
back is to the mantle so she doesnt see the portrait. CHUMLEY, however, notices it immediately.)

DR. CHUMLEY: Mrs. Simmons

VETA: Im not talking to you.

DR. CHUMLEY: Mrs. Simmons, this picture over the mantel

VETA: That portrait happens to be the pride of the house.

DR. CHUMLEY: But, Mrs. Simmons

VETA: The figure in that painting represents the best of my family. Our inspiration. . .what we aspire to
be. . .our pride and joy. . .our(She turns around and sees it, screams, and totters.)

DR. CHUMLEY: Steady now, steady.

VETA: Doctor, that is NOT my mother.

DR. CHUMLEY: Im glad to hear that.

VETA: Hes been here. Elwoods been here. (Phone rings.)

DR. CHUMLEY: Ill get it for you. (Answers.) Hello? Yes, yes, whos calling? (To VETA, covering the
mouthpiece.) Its your brother.

VETA: (No longer weak, but angry.) Let me talk to him.

DR. CHUMLEY: Dont tell him Im here. Be casual. But find out where he is.

VETA: (In phone.) Hello, Elwood. Where are you? What? Oh, just a minute(To Chumley.) He wont say
where he is. He wants to know if Harvey is here.

DR. CHUMLEY: Tell him Harvey is here.

VETA: But he isnt.

DR. CHUMLEY: Tell him he is. That should bring Elwood here.
HARVEY tech script

VETA: In phone.)Yes, Elwood. Yes, Harvey is here. Why dont you come home and see him? What? Oh. .
.uh. . uh. . .right! (To Chumley.)Its not working. He wants me to call Harvey to the telephone.

DR. CHUMLEY: Say Harvey is here. . .but he cant come to the phone. Sayhesayhes in the
bathtub!

VETA: Bathtub?

DR. CHUMLEY: Say hes in the bathtub, and youll send him over there. That way we can find out where
Dowd is.

VETA: (In phone.)Elwood, Harvey is here, but he cant come to the telephone. Hes in the bathtub. Ill
send him over to you as soon as hes dry. Where are you? Elwood! (Slams the phone down.)
Harvey just walked in the door. Elwood told me to look in the bathtubit must be a stranger.
But I know where he is. Hes at Charlies Place. Thats a bar over at 12 th and Main.

DR. CHUMLEY: Thank you. (Starts out.)

VETA: Where are you going?

DR. CHUMLEY: Im going over there to get your brother and drag him down to the sanitarium where he
belongs! (Storms out.)

VETA: Oh! (Thinks a moment, the calls--) Myrtle Maesee whos in the bathtub!

END OF ACT I
HARVEY tech script

ACT II, Scene 1

The main office at Chumleys Sanitarium. Four hours later. WILSON is carrying out one of the last packed
boxes for SANDERSON. KELLY is standing with OFFICER WELTY.

DR. SANDERSON: Thats the last box.

WILSON: Tough you getting kicked out like that, Doc. When you leavin?

DR. SANDERSON: As soon as Dr. Chumley gets back.

WILSON: Its beginnin to smell awful funny to me. Four hours hes been gone and not a word from him.
(KELLY hangs up and marks another place off her list.)

OFFICER WELTY: As I told this young lady, theres no sign of Dr. Chumley in any emergency room. And no
report concerning him at the police station.

NURSE KELLY: Please keep looking. (WELTY tips his hat and exits.)

WILSON: If Doc dont show up soon, Im gonna go looking for him. He should know bettern goin after
a psycho without me along.

DR. SANDERSON: Id like to help you look for the doctor, Wilson.

WILSON: Thats swell of you, Doc, right after he give you the brush.

DR. SANDERSON: Ive no resentment against Dr. Chumley. He was right, I was wrong. Chumley is the
greatest man in his field of psychotherapy. Its my loss not to be able to work with him.

WILSON: Youre not so small yourself, Doc. I wish you a lot of luck. (Exits. KELLY takes a deep breath.)

NURSE KELLY: Id like to say I wish you a lot of luck, too, and Im sorry to see you leave.

DR. SANDERSON: (Not looking at her.) Are you sure you can spare those good wishes, Nurse Kelly?

NURSE KELLY: Forget it.

DR. SANDERSON: Just a little piece of adviceyou might want to be more careful about the kind of
company you keep.

NURSE KELLY: I beg your pardon?

HARVEY tech script

DR. SANDERSON: I saw you Saturday night, dancing with that drip at the Rose Room down at the Frontier
Hotel.

NURSE KELLY: Oh, did you? I didnt see you.

DR. SANDERSON: Id be careful of him, Kelly. He looked like a potential schizophrenic murderer. Thats
my professional opinion. And he wasnt even that good-looking.

NURSE KELLY: But she was beautiful, I suppose.

DR. SANDERSON: Who?

NURSE KELLY: The girl you were with.

DR. SANDERSON: I thought you didnt notice me.

NURSE KELLY: You bumped into us twice. How could I not notice?

DR. SANDERSON: Not that it makes any difference to you, but that girl is a charming lady. She has a
sweet, kind disposition.

NURSE KELLY: Funny she couldnt rate a better date on a Saturday night.

DR. SANDERSON: I dont suppose you can be blamed for your flippant hard shell. You must be over-
compensating for something.

NURSE KELLY: Im not, and dont you use any of your psychological jargon on me!

DR. SANDERSON: I doubt any kind of jargon could melt your armor.

NURSE KELLY: Youll never know, Doctor.

DR. SANDERSON: Of course, you interest me purely as a case history. Id love to figure out where you get
your inflated ego(ELWOOD enters, carrying a bouquet of flowers.)

NURSE KELLY: Mr. Dowd! (He hands the bouquet to KELLY.)

ELWOOD: These are for you, my dear.

NURSE KELLY: For me? Oh, thank you.

ELWOOD: Theyre quite fresh, too. I picked them right outside.

DR. SANDERSON: Wheres Dr. Chumley? Did he go upstairs?

ELWOOD: Not knowing, I cannot say. (To KELLY.) Those colors are lovely against your skin.

DR. SANDERSON: Did Dr. Chumley go over to his house?

HARVEY tech script

ELWOOD: I dont know. I have a cab outside. Is it possible for you two to get away with me now?

DR. SANDERSON: Where is Dr. Chumley?

ELWOOD: Is he coming with us, too? How nice.

DR. SANDERSON: WHERE IS DR. CHUMLEY?

ELWOOD: I must apologize for being a few seconds late. I just thought Miss Kelly should have some
flowers. After what happened this afternoon, though, the flowers should be from you, Doctor.
Shall we go now? (KELLY presses a buzzer on the wall.)

SANDERSON: Just a minute, Dowd. The situation has changed since we met this afternoon. But I urge
you to have no resentments. Dr. Chumley is your friend. He only wants to help you.

ELWOOD: Thats nice of him. Id like to help him, too.

SANDERSON: Dowd, we all have to face reality, sooner or later.

ELWOOD: Doctor, I wrestled with reality my entire life, and Im happy to say I finally won out over it.
Now, wont you and Miss Kelly join me down at Charlies? (WILSON enters.)

WILSON: There you are! Upstairs, buddy! Were going upstairs. (To Sanderson.) Is Doc Chumley okay?

ELWOOD: There must be some mistake. Miss Kelly and Dr. Sanderson and I are going downtown for a
drink. Id be glad to have you come with us, Mr. . . .?

WILSON: Wilson.

ELWOOD: Mr. Wilson. At Charlies they have wonderful entertainment.

WILSON: Yeah? Well, wait to see the entertainment we got! I said, upstairs!

SANDERSON: Just a minute. Dowd, where did you say Dr. Chumley went?

WILSON: You mean the doc aint showed up yet? (Dr. Sanderson shakes his head no. WILSON threatens
ELWOOD.) Where is he? And talk fast, or Im workin you over.

ELWOOD: Id rather you didnt do that, and Id rather you didnt even mention such a thing in the
presence of such a lovely young lady as

SANDERSON: Mr. Dowd, Doctor Chumley went into town to pick you up and bring you back here. . .and
that was over four hours ago!

ELWOOD: Where has the time gone!

WILSON: Trying to be a smart guy, eh?

HARVEY tech script

SANDERSON: Just a minute, Wilson. Dowd, did you see Dr. Chumley tonight?

ELWOOD: Yes, I did. He came into Charlies Place at dinner time. Lets all go there, and Ill buy us all a
round of drinks.

WILSON: We aint going no place. Now, Im asking you a question, and if you dont button up your lip
and give me a straight answer, Im gonna beat it out of you.

ELWOOD: What you suggest is impossible.

WILSON: Huh?

ELWOOD: You suggest that I button up my lip and at the same time give you a straight answer. It cant
be done.

WILSON: Why you little

SANDERSON: Let me handle this, Wilson. (To Dowd.) Now, you say Dr. Chumley came into Charlies
place?

ELWOOD: He did, and I was delighted to see him.

WILSON: Go on.

ELWOOD: He asked for me, and naturally Charliethats the proprietorbrought him over. We
exchanged the conventional greetings. I said, How do you do, Dr. Chumley, and he said, How do
you do, Mr. Dowd. And then I introduced him to Harvey.

WILSON: To who?

NURSE KELLY: A rabbit. Six feet tall.

ELWOOD: Six feet one and a half.

WILSON: Worry about details while the docs probably bleeding to death in a ditch someplace.

ELWOOD: If that was his plan for the evening, he did not tell me.

SANDERSON: Go on, Dowd.

ELWOOD: Dr. Chumley sat down in the booth with us. He sat directly across from Harvey, so he could
look at him. Harvey then suggested that I buy him a drink. Knowing he does not like to drink
alone, I suggested to Dr. Chumley that we join him.

WILSON: And then?

ELWOOD: We joined him.

HARVEY tech script

NURSE KELLY: What happened next?

ELWOOD: We joined him again.

SANDERSON: Then what?

ELWOOD: We kept on joining him.

WILSON: Skip all the joining!

ELWOOD: Youre asking me to skip a large portion of the evening.

NURSE KELLY: What else happened?

ELWOOD: Dr. Chumley and Harvey got into a conversation. Quietly at first, but then it became rather
heated and Dr. Chumley raised his voice?

WILSON: Why?

ELWOOD: Harvey seemed to feel that Dr. Chumley should assume part of the financial responsibility of
the joining, but Dr. Chumley didnt seem to want to do that.

WILSON: I can believe that.

ELWOOD: Then I agreed to pay the whole thing because I didnt want any trouble. Dr. Chumley then
urged Harvey to go with him over to Blondies Chicken Inn. Harvey wanted to go to Eddies instead.
While they were arguing about it, I went to the bar to pay, and when I came back, they were gone.

WILSON: Where did they go? I mean, where did the Doctor go?

ELWOOD: I dont know. I had a date out here with Dr. Sanderson and Miss Kelly, and I came out to pick
them up, hoping that later on we might run into Harvey and the Doctor and make a party of it.

WILSON: Youre lying and we know it.

ELWOOD: I never lie.

WILSON: Youve done something with the doctor, and Im going to

SANDERSON: Dont touch him, Wilson.

NURSE KELLY: Maybe he isnt lying. (Goes to phone and dials Charlies place.)

WILSON: Thats all this guy is, a bunch of lies. You two dont believe the story he tells about the Doctor
sittin there chatting to a big white rabbit, do you?

NURSE KELLY: Maybe Dr. Chumley did go to Charlies Place.

HARVEY tech script

WILSON: And saw a big white rabbit, I suppose.

ELWOOD: And why not? Harvey was there. At first the Doctor seemed a little frightened of Harvey, but
that gave way to admiration as the evening wore on! What a nice expressionthe evening wore
on! With your permission, Ill say it again. The evening wore on!

WILSON: With your permission, Im gonna ram your teeth down your throat!

NURSE KELLY: (On phone)Charlies Place? Is Dr. Chumley there? He was the man with Mr. Dowd earlier
in the evening. (Listens.) Well, dont bite my head off. (Hangs up.) My, that man was mad. He
said Mr. Dowd is welcome any time, but his friend is not.

ELWOOD: Thats Mr. McNulty, the bartender. He thinks a lot of me. Now, lets all go down there and
have a drink. (NURSE KELLY takes his hand.)

NURSE KELLY: Mr. Dowd, poor Mrs. Chumley is so worried. Something must have happened to the
doctor. Wont you please try to remember something that might help her? Please?

ELWOOD: For you, my dear, I would do anything. I would almost be willing to live my life over again. But
Ive told it all.

NURSE KELLY: Youre sure?

ELWOOD: Im sure. But ask me again. I liked the warm tone you had in your voice just then.

SANDERSON: (Softly.) So did I.

ELWOOD: But Im afraid I must be going. I have things to do.

NURSE KELLY: Mr. Dowd, what is it you do?

ELWOOD: Harvey and I sit in bars and play the jukebox. Soon the faces of the other people turn toward
mine and smile. Theyre saying, We dont know your name, mister, but youre a lovely fellow.
Harvey and I warm ourselves in all these golden moments. We have entered as strangers. . .and
soon we have friends. They talk to us. They tell about the terrible things they have done. The
big wonderful things they will do. Their hopes, their regrets, their loves, their hates. All large,
because nobody ever brings anything small into a bar. And then I introduce them to Harvey.
And he is bigger and grander than anything they can offer me. When they leave, they leave
impressed. These same people seldom come back because theyve told what they need to tell,
and theyve seen a little bit of a miracle. They no longer have a need to go back to a bar again.

SANDERSON: How did you happen to call him Harvey?

ELWOOD: Harvey is his name.

SANDERSON: How do you know that?

HARVEY tech script

ELWOOD: Thats a rather interesting coincidence, Doctor. One night, several years ago, I was walking
early in the evening, alone. Fairfax Streetbetween 18 th and 19th. I had just helped Ed Hickey
into a taxi. Ed had been mixing his rye with his gin, and I felt he needed some help getting home.
I started to walk down the street when I heard a voice saying, Good evening, Mr. Dowd. I
turned and there was this great white rabbit leaning against a lamp post. Well, I thought nothing
of that because when you live in a town as long as I have lived in this one, you get used to the
fact that everybody knows your name. Naturally I went over to chat with him. He said to me,
Ed Hickey was a little spiffed this evening, or could I be mistaken? Well, of course he was not
mistaken. I think the world and all of Ed, but he was spiffed. So we stood there and talked and
finally I said, You have the advantage of me. You know my name, but I dont know yours. Right
back at me he said, What name do you like? Well, I didnt even have to think a minute.
Harvey has always been my favorite name. So I said, Harveyand this is the interesting part
of the whole thing. He said, What a coincidence. My name happens to be Harvey!

SANDERSON: What was your fathers name?

ELWOOD: John. John Frederick.

SANDERSON: Dowd, when you were a child, you had a playmate, didnt you? (ELWOOD nods.) Someone
you were very fond of? (ELWOOD nods.) Someone with whom you spent many happy, carefree
hours?

ELWOOD: Verne. Verne McElhinney. Did you ever know the McElhinneys, Doctor?

SANDERSON: No.

ELWOOD: Too bad. There were a lot of them, and they were very social. Wonderful people.

SANDERSON: Think carefully, Dowd. Wasnt there someone, somewhere, sometime whom you knew by
the name of Harvey?

ELWOOD: No one. Maybe thats why I had such hopes for it.

SANDERSON: Okay, Wilson. You can take Mr. Dowd upstairs now.

WILSON: I aint takin him nowhere. You made this your show. Now run it!

SANDERSON: Come on, Dowd. (Puts his hand on his shoulder.) Come on, Elwood. (Leads him to the
door.)

NURSE KELLY: Ill come with you, Mr. Dowd.

ELWOOD: All right, Lyman. But I wont be able to visit with you for long. I promised Id take Harvey to
the midnight movies. (SANDERSON and KELLY lead ELWOOD off. WILSON buries his head in his
arms.)

WILSON: Oh, boy! (CHUMLEY enters. Hes disheveled and clearly on the run.) Dr. Chumleyare you all
right?
HARVEY tech script

DR. CHUMLEY: Im being followed.

WILSON: Whos following you?

DR. CHUMLEY: None of your business! Go get that fellow Dowd. And lock the door after you! (Dr.
Chumley exits into his inner office. We hear the sound of its door being locked behind him.
WILSON looks around, confused. Then he exits into the hall, turning off the overhead lights. We
hear the sound of the hall door being locked. A few seconds, we hear someone trying to open
the hall door. The door knob is rattled. Then we hear the door being unlocked. It is opened, and
light from the hall spills in. We hear HARVEY walking across the floor. He tries to open the door
to Chumleys office, and rattles the door knob. Then he unlocks that door and opens it. We hear
CHUMLEY scream. Then the office door is closed behind HARVEY. A few seconds later, WILSON
rushes in.)

WILSON: Doctor? Doctor Chumley? I heard you yell. (He opens the door to Chumleys office, but its
clear he doesnt see anyone in there. CHUMLEY rushes in the front door.) Howdja get out of
here, Doc? I saw you go into your office.

DR. CHUMLEY: I went out through my window! (He runs over and locks his office door from the outside.)
Is that man Dowd here?

WILSON: I was on my way to get him when I heard you scream. Ill go

DR. CHUMLEY: No! Dont leave me! Call Dumphy on the intercom. (WILSON buzzes the intercom.)

WILSON: (On the intercom.) Dumphyget that guy Dowd down here right away. (A knock on the door.
CHUMLEY grabs WILSON.)

DR. CHUMLEY: Dont leave me!

WILSON: Just a minute, Doc. (He turns on the light and opens the door. JUDGE GAFFNEY and MYRTLE
are standing there.)

JUDGE GAFFNEY: I want to see Dr. Chumley! (WILSON swats MYRTLE on the backside as she enters.)

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Chumley, I need to talk to you. (He heads for CHUMLEYs office.)

DR. CHUMLEY: Not in there!

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Then sit down, Chumley. (WILSON indicates to MYRTLE that they can slip out, but
CHUMLEY sees them.)

DR. CHUMLEY: Dont leave me, Wilson!

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Now, Chumley, has it ever occurred to you that there might actually be something like
this rabbit, Harvey?
HARVEY tech script

MYRTLE: Of course there isnt. And anybody who thinks so is crazy. (CHUMLEY gives her a look.)

JUDGE GAFFNEY: My client, the plaintiff, Mrs. Veta Louise Simmons, under oath, swears that on the
morning of November 2nd, while standing in the kitchen of her home, hearing her name called,
she turned and saw this great white rabbit, Harvey. He was staring at her. Resenting the
intrusion, the plaintiff made certain remarks and drove the creature from the room. He went.

DR. CHUMLEY: What did she say?

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Her remarks are not important.

DR. CHUMLEY: I want to know how she got this creature out of her sanitariumI meanher home.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Very well. She looked him right in the eyes and screamed, To hell with you!

DR. CHUMLEY: To hell with you! And he left?

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Yes, he left. But the point is(SANDERSON enters.)

SANDERSON: Oh, excuse me. I was just

DR. CHUMLEY: Dr. Sanderson, disregard what I said this afternoon. I want you on my staff. Youre a very
astute young man.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: As I was trying to say, the point is

MYRTLE: The point is that youve just got to keep Uncle Elwood here.

DR. CHUMLEY: No. I want my sanitarium the way it was before that man came out here this afternoon.

MYRTLE: I know what you mean.

DR. CHUMLEY: You do?

MYRTLE: It would get on anyones nerves the way Uncle Elwood knows whats going to happen before it
happens. Like this morning, he told us that Harvey told him that Mrs. McElhinneys Aunt Rose
was going to drop in on her unexpectedly tonight from Cleveland.

DR. CHUMLEY: And did she?

MYRTLE: Oh, yes. Things always turn out the way Uncle Elwood says they willbut what of it? What do
I care about the McElhinneys?

DR. CHUMLEY: You say this sort of thing happens often?

MYRTLE: All the time. Uncle Elwood says Harvey tells him everythingthat Harvey knows everything.
But how could he when theres no such thing as Harvey?
HARVEY tech script

DR. CHUMLEY: Flyspecks. Ive been living all my life among flyspecks, when miracles have been leaning
on lamp posts on 18th and Fairfax. (VETA enters.)

VETA: Good. Nobody here but people.

MYRTLE: Oh, Mother. You promised you wouldnt come out here.

VETA: I brought Elwoods robe. But why are you all sitting here? I thought youd be committing him.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Sit down there, girl. (Points to a seat.)

VETA: I will not sit down there. (Deliberately takes a different seat. WILSON pulls MYRTLE aside.)

WILSON: How about you and me stepping out Saturday night?

VETA: Certainly not. Myrtle Mae, come here. (MYRTLE goes to her.) Is everything settled?

DR. CHUMLEY: It will be.

SANDERSON: Doctor, may I give an opinion? (CHUMLEY nods.)

VETA: Omarhes the doctor I told you about. The eyes!

SANDERSON: It is my opinion that Elwood Dowd is suffering from a third-degree hallucination and the
(points at VETAs back)other party concerned is a victim of auto-suggestion. I recommend
shock formula number 977 for him, and bed rest for(points again.) Mr. Dowd will not see this
rabbit any more after the injection. Weve used it in hundreds of psychopathic cases.

VETA: Oh, why did Harvey have to speak to Elwood in the first place? With the town so full of people,
why did he have to bother Elwood?

JUDGE GAFFNEY: If this shock formula brings people back to reality, then give it to Elwood. Thats where
we want him.

DR. CHUMLEY: Im not sure it will work in a case like this, Doctor.

SANDERSON: It always has.

VETA: Harvey always follows Elwood home. But if you give him the formula and Elwood cant see Harvey,
he wont let him in. Then when Harvey comes to the door, Ill deal with him.

MYRTLE: Mother, stop talking about Harvey as if there was such a thing.

VETA: Myrtle Mae, you have a lot to learn, and I hope you never learn it. (DUMPHY enters with
ELWOOD.)

DUMPHY: Here he is. Nice talking with you, Mr. Dowd. (Exits.)
HARVEY tech script

ELWOOD: Good evening, everybody.

VETA: Elwood, I brought you your bathrobe.

ELWOOD: Thank you, Veta.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Well, Chumley, what do we do? Weve got to do something?

MYRTLE: I should say so!

SANDERSON: Its imperative!

ELWOOD: Well, while youre making up your minds, why dont we all go down to Charlies and have a
drink?

VETA: Youre not going anywhere, Elwood. Youre staying right here?

MYRTLE: Yes, Uncle Elwood.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Stay here, son.

ELWOOD: I want to leave. You want me to stay. An element of conflict in any discussion is a good thing.
It means that everyone is taking part and no one is left out. I like that. Oh. . .how did you get
along with Harvey, Doctor?

DR. CHUMLEY: Shh!

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Were waiting for your answer, Doctor?

DR. CHUMLEY: What?

JUDGE GAFFNEY: What is your decision about the formula?

DR. CHUMLEY: I need to be alone with this man for a moment. Will you all step out into the hall? (They
step out.) Mr. Dowd, what kind of a man are you? Where did you come from?

ELWOOD: Oh, didnt I give you one of my cards(looks for it.)

DR. CHUMLEY: And where on the face of this tired old earth did you find a thing like him?

ELWOOD: Harvey?

DR. CHUMLEY: Is it true that he has the power to. . .the power to. . .

ELWOOD: Get advance notice? (CHUMLEY nods.) Im happy to say it is true. Harvey is versatile. He can
even stop clocks.

DR. CHUMLEY: What?

HARVEY tech script

ELWOOD: Youve heard the expression, his face would stop a clock? (CHUMLEY nods.) Well, Harvey
says that he can look at your clock and stop it, and you can go away as long as you like with
whomever you like and go as far as you like. And when you come back, not one minute will have
ticked by.

DR. CHUMLEY: You mean he actually

ELWOOD: Einstein has overcome time and space. Harvey has overcome not only time and space but any
objections.

DR. CHUMLEY: And he does this for you?

ELWOOD: Hes willing to at any time, but so far Ive never been able to think of any place Id rather be. I
always have a wonderful time just where I am, whomever Im with.

DR. CHUMLEY: I know where Id go. Akron.

ELWOOD: Akron?

DR. CHUMLEY: Theres a cottage outside Akron in a grove of maple trees. Id go there with a pretty young
woman, a strange young woman, a quiet woman. I wouldnt even want to know her name. Id
be. . .just Mr. Brown.

ELWOOD: Why wouldnt you want to know her name? You might be acquainted with the same people.

DR. CHUMLEY: Id send out for cold beer. Id talk to her. Id tell her things Ive never told anyonethings
that are locked up in here. (Taps his heart.) And then Id send out for more cold beer.

ELWOOD: But she might like a different drinkmaybe a highball.

DR. CHUMLEY: And as I talk, shed reach out a soft white hand and strong my head and say, Poor thing.
You poor, poor thing.

ELWOOD: How long would you want that to go on?

DR. CHUMLEY: Two weeks.

ELWOOD: Just Akron, beer, and poor, poor thing for two weeks? Wouldnt that get monotonous?

DR. CHUMLEY: No, it would be wonderful! Tell me, Mr. Dowd, could hewould hedo this for me?

ELWOOD: He could and he might. Ive never heard Harvey say a word against Akron. But tell me, Doctor,
where is Harvey?

DR. CHUMLEYGlancing at hi s locked office.) Dont you know?

ELWOOD: The last time I saw him, he was with you.

HARVEY tech script

DR. CHUMLEY: Uh. . .

ELWOOD: Oh! Hes probably waiting for me down at Charlies.

DR. CHUMLEY: (Glances at his office with a look of cunning.) Thats it. Hes down at Charlies. Just go out
the back way.

ELWOOD: Oh, I couldnt leave without saying good bye to my friend, Dr. Sanderson.

DR. CHUMLEY: Dr. Sanderson is not your friend. None of those people out there are your friends. I am
your friend.

ELWOOD: Thank you, Doctor. And Im yours.

DR. CHUMLEY: This sister of yours, shes trying to persuade me to lock you up. Today she got
commitment papers drawn up. She also got your power of attorney and the key to your safety
box, and then she brought you out here

ELWOOD: She did this all today? Veta is certainly a whirlwind.

DR. CHUMLEY: My God, man, dont you have any righteous indignation?

ELWOOD: Dr. Chumley, my mother used to say to me, In this world, Elwoodshe always called me
ElwoodYou must be oh-so-smart or oh-so-pleasant. For years I was smart. I recommend
pleasant.

DR. CHUMLEY: Just the same, I can protect you if I commit her. Would you like me to do that?

ELWOOD: No, not unless Veta wants it that way. You have a pleasant place out here, but I think Veta
would be happier at home with me and Harvey and Myrtle Mae. (A knock on the door.
SANDERSON looks in.)

SANDERSON: Have you decided on a course of treatment, Doctor?

DR. CHUMLEY: Yes, everyone can come back in. (They re-enter.)

VETA: Is it settled?

DR. CHUMLEY: I find I concur with Dr. Sanderson.

SANDERSON: Thank you, Doctor.

MYRTLE: Thats wonderful!

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Good boy!

HARVEY tech script

ELWOOD: Then lets celebrate! (Takes out his address book.) Ive got a list of some new nightclubs listed
in the back. . .

DR. CHUMLEY: (Motions the others aside.)The injection carries a violent reaction. We cant give it to him
without his consent. Will he give it?

VETA: Of course he will, if I ask him.

DR. CHUMLEY: To give up Harvey? I doubt it.

MYRTLE: Dont ask him. Just inject him with the formula! Ill hold him down.

ELWOOD: (Reading) Bessies Barn Dance Dancehall. Blondies Chicken Inn. Better Late Than Never. . .

VETA: Elwood!

ELWOOD: We should telephone and reserve a table. How many of us will there be?

VETA: (Starts to count and then catches herself.) Oh, Elwood!

DR. CHUMLEY: Mr. Dowd, I have a formula977that will be good for you. Will you take it?

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Afterwards, Elwood, you wont see this rabbit any more.

SANDERSON: But you will see your responsibilities, your duties. . ..

ELWOOD: Im sure if you thought of it, Doctor, its a very fine thing. And if I happen to run into anyone
who needs it, Ill be glad to recommend it. For myself, I wouldnt care for it.

VETA: Hear that, Judge? Hear that, Doctor? Thats what I have to put up with!

ELWOOD: Veta, do you want me to take it?

VETA: Elwood, Im only thinking of you. Id do anything for you. That Harvey wouldnt do anything for
you. Hes making a fool out of you, Elwood. But Elwood, you could amount to something. Why,
you could be sitting on the Western Slope Water Board right now.

ELWOOD: All right, Veta. If thats what you want. Tomorrow Harvey and I will go over and ask them.

VETA: I never want to see another tomorrow if Myrtle Mae and I have to keep living in the house with
that rabbit. Our friends never come to see uswe both have no social life. We have no life at
all. Were both miserable. I wish I were dead. . .but maybe you dont care. (Pause.)

ELWOOD: Ive always thought that Veta should have everything she wants. Veta. . .are you sure? (She
nods.) Ill take it. Where do I go?

DR. CHUMLEY: In Doctor Sandersons office.

HARVEY tech script

ELWOOD: Say good bye to the old fellow, wont you? (Exits into SANDERSONs office; CHUMLEY exits into
the hall.)

JUDGE GAFFNEY: How long will this take, Doctor?

SANDERSON: Only a few minutes. (Exits into his office and closes the door. All wait. VETA is very
nervous.)

MYRTLE: Mother, dont fidget. (Picks up the edge of the curtains.) Mother, couldnt you see me in a
dress this color?

VETA: (Mechanically) Yes, dear. (Knock on the office door.)

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Come in. (Lofgren enters.) What do you want?

LOFGREN: Im looking for a little short(sees Veta)there you are! Lady, you jumped out outta my cab
without paying.

VETA: Im sorry. How much is it?

LOFGREN: All the way out here from town--$2.75

VETA: Let me get my coin purse(fumbles through purse)I know I put it in here(empties out purse
but there is nothing but a compact and a handkerchief.) Now thats strange. Myrtle, do you
have any money?

MYRTLE: Nope!

VETA: Omar, may I borrow $2.75 for this man?

JUDGE GAFFNEY: I dont have anything but a check.

LOFGREN: We dont take checks. ( CHUMLEY re-enters in his lab coat with a large syringe.)

VETA: Doctor Chumley, may I borrow some money to pay this cab driver?

DR. CHUMLEY: I havent got my wallet. I need to get on with the injection. Sorry. (Exits into
SANDERSONs office.)

VETA: Ill get the money from my brother, but youll have to wait. Hes in there to get an injection.

LOFGREN: Hes gonna get some of that stuff they shoot em full of out here?

VETA: Yes, it wont be long.

LOFGREN: Lady, I want my money now.

VETA: I told you its only going to be a few minutes, and Ill want you to drive us back to town.
HARVEY tech script

LOFGREN: And I told you I want my money now, or Im nosin my cab back to town and you can wait for
the next bus. . .which will be at six in the morning.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Whats the matter with you?

LOFGREN: Nothing that $2.75 wont fix. Take it or leave it.

VETA: Ive never heard anything so unreasonable in my whole life. (Knocks on the door.) Dr. Chumley, will
you let Elwood step out here a minute? This cab driver wont wait.

CHUMLEYS VOICE: Dont be too long. Everythings ready. (ELWOOD enters, his sleeve rolled up, ready
for the injection.)

ELWOOD: How do you do? Dowd is my name. Elwood P.

LOFGREN: Lofgrens mine. E.J.

ELWOOD: How nice to meet you, Mr. Lofgren. Im sure youve already met my sister, Veta. My charming
little niece, Myrtle. Judge Gaffney, and

VETA: I need to borrow $2.75, Elwood, to pay this man off.

ELWOOD: (To LOFGREN.) Have you lived around here long, Mr. Lofgren?

LOFGREN: Yeah. Ive lived here all my life.

ELWOOD: Do you enjoy your work?

LOFGREN: Its okay. Ive been driving for Apex Cabs for fifteen years, and my brother Joes been driving
for Brown Cabs for pretty near twelve.

ELWOOD: You drive for Apex and your brother Joe for Brown? Thats interesting, isnt it, Veta? (VETA
sniffs in disdain.) Mr. Lofgren, let me give you one of my cards. (Hands it to him. CHUMLEY
appears in the door.)

DR. CHUMLEY: We need to get the injection started, Mr. Dowd.

ELWOOD: Certainly. One minute. My sister and my charming little niece live with me at this address.
Wont you and your brother come and have dinner with us sometime?

LOFGREN: Sure. Be glad to.

ELWOOD: When? When would you be glad to?

LOFGREN: I couldnt come any night but Tuesday. Im on duty the rest of the week.
HARVEY tech script

ELWOOD: Tuesday it is, then. Well expect you both on Tuesday, and well be delighted to see you, wont
we, Veta?

VETA: Elwood, Im sure this man has friends of his own.

ELWOOD: Veta, one cant have too many friends.

VETA: Elwood, dont keep Dr. Chumley waiting. Its rude.

ELWOOD: Of course. (Hands LOFGREN a large bill.) Keep the change. Im glad to have met you, and Ill
expect you on Tuesday with your brother. Will you excuse me now? I promised to get an
injection. (Exits.)

LOFGREN: A sweet guy.

VETA: He is. But why did you insist on your money. You could just as well have waited.

LOFGREN: Oh, no. Listen, lady, Ive been drivin this route 15 years. Ive brought em out here to get
their injections, and then drove em back after they got it. It changes em.

MYRTLE: I certainly hope so.

LOFGREN: On the way out here, they sit back and enjoy the ride. They talk to me. Sometimes we stop
and watch the sunsets and look at birds flying. Sometimes we stop and watch the birds when
there aint no birds and look at the sunsets when its rainin. We have a swell time, and I always
get a big tip. But afterwards. . .huh uh! (Starts to exit.)

VETA: Afterwards? What do you mean afterwards huh-uh?

LOFGREN: They crab, crab, crab. They yell at me to watch the lights, watch the brakes, watch the
intersection. They scream at me to hurry. They got no faith in me or my cab, yet its the same
cab, same driver, same road. Its no fun. . .and no tips.

VETA: But my brother would have tipped you anyways. Hes very generous. Always has been.

LOFGREN: Not after this he wont be. Lady, after this hell be a perfectly normal human being. . .and you
know what bastards they are. Ill be out in my cab. (Exits. VETA thinks for a moment, then runs
for the door and tries to get in.)

VETA: Stop it, stop it! Dont give it to him! Elwood, come out of there.

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Veta, its too late. Dr. Chumleys giving him the injection.

MYRTLE: Mother, stop this.

VETA: (Still pounding.) I dont want Elwood to have it. I dont want Elwood to be like that. I dont like
people like that.
HARVEY tech script

MYRTLE: Do something with her, Judge. Mother, stop it! (VETA turns on her.)

VETA: You shut up, Myrtle! Ive lived longer than you have. I remember my father. I remember your
father.

MYRTLE: But. Mother, if Uncle Elwood doesnt get that injection, hell be different from most people.

MYRTLE: (Shouting.) Its all right to be different from most people. (Starts banging on the door.
CHUMLEY opens it.)

DR. CHUMLEY: Whats all this commotion? (WILSON runs in.)

WILSON: Whats the trouble? This dame soundin off again?

JUDGE GAFFNEY: She wants to stop the injection.

VETA: You havent. . .you havent given it to him already, have you?

DR. CHUMLEY: No, but were about to. Wilson, take Mrs. Simmons into the other room. (WILSON picks
her up and starts to take her out, but MYRTLE kicks him.)

MYRTLE: (To WILSON.) You leave my mother alone, you. . .you. . .you white slaver!

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Veta, you dont know what you want. You didnt want that white rabbit, either.

VETA: And whats wrong with Harvey? If Elwood and Myrtle and I want to live with Harvey, its nothing
to you. (ELWOOD enters. VETA throws herself into his arms.) Elwood, Elwood.

ELWOOD: There, there, Veta. (To the others.) Vetas all tired out. Shes had a busy day.

VETA: Come on, Elwood. Lets get out of here. I hate this place. I wish Id never seen it.

DR. CHUMLEY: Butseehere

JUDGE GAFFNEY: Have it your own way, Veta. But next time Im not giving up my canasta game at the
club again, no matter how big the animal is. (Exits. VETA sniffles and fumbles in her purse for
her handkerchief. She finds her coin purse and holds it up.)

VETA: Look at this! Thats funny. My coin purse was here all the time! I could have paid the cab-driver
myself. (KELLY moves to SANDERSON and they clasp hands.)

CHUMLEY, SANDERSON, KELLY, and MYRTLE: Harvey!

VETA: Come along Myrtle. Come on, Elwood. Were going home. (She exits and MYRTLE follows.)

ELWOOD: Good night, Dr. Sanderson, Miss Kelly. Best of luck in your future. Good night, Mr. Wilson.

VETAS VOICE: Come along, Elwood.

HARVEY tech script

ELWOOD: (To CHUMLEY.) Doctor, for years Ive known what my family thinks of Harvey. But Ive often
wondered what Harveys family thinks of me. (There is the sound of a lock being unlocked, and
the door to CHUMLEYs office opens.) Oh, there you are. (Gestures to CHUMLEY) Doctor, do you
mindyoure standing in his way. (CHUMLEY leaps out of the way. Footsteps are heard as
HARVEY crosses to ELWOOD.) Where have you been? Ive been looking all over for you!
(HARVEY opens the door to the hall, and they go out.)