THE WANGS

S3E7

"Happy Island"

Harry Jonathan Chong

8/8/2016

Harry, Emily, and Emma are placed onto an island for a Japanese
game show in which they must fight each other to the death.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL #90456 - DAY

Its a warm summers day.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL #90456, CAFETERIA - DAY

EMILY and EMMA are sitting down having lunch.

HARRY in the background comes running in, and gets between

the two. He looks left, and right excitedly.

HARRY
You guys! Guess what!

He runs around, and takes a seat on the other side of the

table. He leans forward with a great exuberance.

HARRY (CONTD)
Guess what!!!

EMILY
What?

HARRY
I just found out, a Japanese media
company is launching a brand new TV
show in America!

EMILY
And?

HARRY
AND they are having open auditions.
Anyone can try out. Imagine that!
We can be famous!

EMMA
I dont wanna be famous. The
pursuit of fame is vapid.

HARRY
Yes, but what about when that fame
comes with $10 million? Its the
largest game show prize of all
time!

EMILY
$10 million you say?

HARRY
Well, its more like $5 million
since the government takes half,
but wow! What a sum of money!
 2.

EMMA
So what do you want from us?

HARRY
If we all audition, one of us could
be rich!

EMILY
Harry, dont you know, money
doesnt buy happiness?

HARRY
Wrong. Money does buy happiness.

Harry hands Emma a dollar. She takes it, and puts it in her
front pocket.

HARRY (CONTD)
(to Emma)
Do you feel happier now?

EMMA
A little.

HARRY
(to Emily)
See.

Emily rolls her eyes.

EXT. 90 KERRY CRES, BACKYARD - DAY

We find ourselves in the backyard of 90 Kerry Crescent. Here

sits Changs oversized shed in which he does his experiments.

INT. OVERSIZED SHED - DAY

CRAIG is lying on a table with his chest wide open.

CHANG, who has on a welding mask, is welding his inner parts,

and pieces.

Of course, sparks fly.

CRAIG
Oooh, that tickles.

CHANG
Dont move.

Chang continues on, and then Harry, Emily, and Emma come into
the shed, and approach him.
 3.

Emily puts up a hand, and twiddles her fingers in the air as

if saying hello.

EMILY
Yo, daddio!

Chang pauses, and tilts his head upward. He puts down his
torch, and lifts his mask.

CHANG
What are you three doing here?
Cant you see Im busy trying to
turn Craig into a deadly weapon?

EMMA
Y-you what?

HARRY
Dad, theres this new, Japanese, TV
show called Happy Island, and
theyre having a casting call. But
the problem is, since were minors,
we need parental, or guardian
permission to audition, and
participate.

CHANG
And?

EMILY
Can you do us a huge favor, and
sign these permission slips?

Emily takes out a sheaf of papers to sign.

CHANG
Oh boy. I dont have time for this.
Why dont you ask your mother?

EMILY
She said no.

CHANG
So youre asking me second then?

HARRY
Dad, stop being so insecure.

EMMA
Please, Mr Wang, this could be a
really good opportunity for us.
 4.

CHANG
Emma, Im not your dad. I cant
sign your papers.

EMMA
Yes, you can. Legally, youre
considered my guardian.

CHANG
Since when?

EMILY
Dont you remember? Emmas mom went
AWOL, and you agreed to take care
of her?

CHANG
Ohhh yeah, I remember now. I said
Emmas mom was a filthy, child-
abandoning whore.

EMMA
Wait, you called my mom a whore?

CRAIG
He calls everyone a whore. He
called me a whore on my birthday.

CHANG
True. I do say whore a lot. But it
just rolls off the tongue so
easily.

EMMA
How about not calling people
childish names?

CHANG
Children dont call each other
whores, Emma. Whore is a grown-up
insult. Like cock sucker, or mother
fucker, or piece of fucking shit.

EMMA
Okay, so youre not gonna sign our
papers?

CHANG
Im afraid, I dont like the
entertainment industry. Its full
of dangerous, slimy, smelly
perverts.
 5.

HARRY
Dad the show well be on is called
Happy Island. Its like a
Japanese version of survivor. How
bad could it be?

CHANG
Ahh, I dunno.

EMILY
Aw, cmon. If one of us wins we get
ten million smackeroonies.

CHANG
Whoa, thats a lot of
smackeroonies... Alright, fine.
Gimme those papers.

Chang takes the papers from Emily.

CHANG (CONTD)
Ill sign the fuck out of them!

EMMA
Mr Wang, you dont have to sign the
fuck out of them. Just sign them
normally.

CHANG
(glares)
Dont tell me what to do -- you
whore.

Emma frowns.
CHANG (CONTD)
Im just kidding. That was a
callback. You know what a callback
is? Right?

Emma is still frowning.

CHANG (CONTD)
Never mind.

Chang then takes out a pen, and clicks the end to sign the
papers he has.

EXT. UNMARKED BUILDING - DAY

A sign in the shape of an arrow is planted on the ground.

Marked auditions it is beside a huge line of people going
into an unmarked building.
 6.

Near the very back Harry, Emily, and Emma are found.

HARRY
Aww, man. This line goes on for-
fucking-ever.

EMILY
I knew this was gonna be a waste of
time.

EMMA
Dont worry, you guys. I have a
plan.

HARRY
Whats your plan?

EMMA
Uhhhhh, drop on the floor, and curl
up in a ball?

HARRY
Thats not a very good plan.

Emily snaps her fingers.

EMILY
I have an idea! Alright, whatever
you guys do, stay here, dont move.
Okay?

Emma, and Harry nod.

Emily then steps out of the line, and disappears.

She returns in a heartbeat, but dressed differently, she is
wearing a Middle Eastern style outfit, and a fake beard. She
stands center in front of everyone and holds up a brown
satchel.

EMILY (CONTD)
ALLAHU AKBAR! ALLAHU AKBAR!

Emily darts out her tongue, and does a battle cry that sounds
like a high pitched ALALALALALALALALAAAA!

As everyone stares she throws down her brown satchel. All of

the people, except Emma, and Harry split, and abandon their
spots.

Emily goes back to Emma, and Harry, and tears off her beard
to reveal her face.
 7.

EMILY (CONTD)
Pretty good job, huh?

EMMA
You pretended to be a terrorist.

EMILY
No, I didnt. I never threatened
anyone. I just took advantage of
the general publics ignorance, and
racism. You know, not every Middle
Eastern person is a terrorist.

HARRY
Yeah, Emma, stop being so fucking
racist.

EMMA
Im not racist.

HARRY
Thats exactly what a racist person
would say.

Harry glares at Emma. Emma sighs.

INT. UNMARKED BUILDING, STAGE - DAY

The Japanese executives for SAKURABA MEDIA, whom are

producing the TV show Happy Island, are seated in front of
the stage for auditions.

Present are the six executives: AKIRA, KIKU, HARU, RYU, SHIN
and YOSHI.
They watch with great scrutiny, and a bit of annoyance, at
the JUGGLER on the stage.

He is juggling fruit.

Akira looks bored as hell.

AKIRA
OKAY, sir. Thank you for your
participation.

The Juggler pauses.

JUGGLER
Wait, I can juggle other things,
too.
 8.

KIKU
Next!

JUGGLER
But...

HARU
NEXT!

JUGGLER
I...

RYU
NEXT!!

SHIN
NEXT!!!

YOSHI
NEEEEEEEEEXT!!!!!

JUGGLER
Okay, Jesus Christ. Im going.

The Juggler starts walking off the stage, but a trapdoor

opens under his feet, and he falls through, with a yelp, and
disappears.

When the trapdoor closes, Harry, Emily, and Emma come onto
the stage to present themselves.

HARRY
Hello, everyone.

AKIRA
Excuse me, young fat boy, but this
is not a group audition.

EMMA
Please, sir, we work better
together as a group.

AKIRA
(annoyed)
Fine, but if this is no good I will
perform reverse-Seppuku. Reverse-
Seppuku is like regular Seppuku,
but done on someone else.

HARRY
Oookay, then...

KIKU
You may begin.
 9.

Harry, Emily, and Emma form a human ladder. Emma whos at the
very top puts out her arms.

EMMA
Ta-da!

HARU
(groaning)
Ooh, this is very, very stupid.

RYU
You bring shame to America!

SHIN
This makes me hope for Pearl Harbor
#2.

YOSHI
I have a strong urge to poo on all
your faces.

EMILY
Hey, youre all being very rude
right now. We tried our best, okay?

AKIRA
You are a ninny.

EMILY
Who are you calling a ninny?!

Emily takes out a knife, and jumps on Akira. She holds the
blade to his throat.

Everyone, obviously, is shocked, and they are taken aback.

EMILY (CONTD)
I swear to God, Ill cut you like,
uhhhh, something that can be cut
easily! Cocaine? Yeah, cocaine!
However, bear in mind I dont do
drugs, because drugs are bad for
you -- but they arent as bad as
me! Im bad to the fucking bone,
bitch. You know Im bad because I
swear a lot, and call people
bitches.

HARRY
Emily, what the hell are you doing?

EMILY
Mind your own business, football
head!
 10.

EMMA
(to Emma)
Put the knife down. You are going
to be in a lot of trouble.

Akira grins, and laughs.

AKIRA
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
(to Emily)
You are most amusing!

Kiku, Haru, Ryu, Shin, and Yoshi look confused.

EMILY
Who me?

AKIRA
Put the knife down, young girl. I
have decided to put you, and your
friends on Happy Island.

EMILY
Really?

AKIRA
Really.

Emily turns her head to Emma, and Harry, who have very
worried faces.

EMILY
Hey! Good news, everyone!

EXT. HAPPY ISLAND - DAY

A large, black helicopter flying through the sky heads toward

Happy Island.

Happy Island is a tropical island, surrounded by clear blue

water; it looks to be large, and meandering, full of sand,
trees, plants, and other things you would expect to find in
this sort of geographical location.

INT. HAPPY ISLAND, LANDING ZONE - DAY (CONTINUOUS)

The contestants of the Happy Island TV show wait together

in a half circle.

Theres Harry, Emily, Emma, and a ragtag group of characters

consisting of: JACK, LEWIS, CARL, BRUCE, SINDY, LORA, and,
finally, PRIYANKA.
 11.

Unlike the trio, these kids look strong, and healthy, like
theyre models from a top shelf magazine.

Either way, everyones staring up into the sky, and

anticipating the arrival of the shows host.

And then the black helicopter from earlier touches down on

the ground in front of them all.

The door to this helicopter opens.

JOEY JOJO, with a crew following behind, steps outside, and

faces everyone with his hands on his hips in a striking pose.

JOEY JOJO
Good evening, everyone! Im your
host Joey Jojo! Are you all excited
to be on Happy Island?

Harry, Emily, Emma, and the rest make a sound of agreement.

JOEY JOJO (CONTD)

Now, before we begin, and I explain
the rules of this game, we must
first hand out the presents.

Joey Jojo snaps his fingers.

Two men come forward, and hand out gift-wrapped presents to

all the Happy Island contestants.

The two men then, having finished their task, stand back, and
observe.

JOEY JOJO (CONTD)

(to contestants)
Alright, tear em open!

Harry, Emily, Emma, Jack, Lewis, Carl, Bruce, Sindy, Lora,

and Priyanka tear open their presents.

They seem confused.

The presents are actually collars, like the thing youd put
around a dogs neck, except these are ominous, and very high-
tech looking. On each collar is a box with lights.

JOEY JOJO (CONTD)

Dont stand there looking confused.
Put em on!

All the kids reluctantly put on their collars. When theyre

done Joey Jojo grins.
 12.

JOEY JOJO (CONTD)

Now, we can begin the game of
Happy Island.

Joey Jojo points off to the side.

JOEY JOJO (CONTD)

Please direct your attention over
here.

We see an athletic-looking man wearing the same collar

everyone else has -- but his hands are tied up, and his mouth
is covered. Hes standing on his knees, sweating bullets.

JOEY JOJO (CONTD)

See this man? Hes an Olympic
athlete. A real national treasure.
He has two bronze medals, and a
silver. But watch what were about
to do to him.

The collar around the athletic-looking mans neck starts

beeping. He screams, and then his collar explodes like a
bomb.

BOOM! His head is totally obliterated.

Everyone around seems to gasp. Theyre in shock, and then in

horror when they realize whats actually going on.

Emily, Emma, Harry, and the rest of the kids theyre with
uneasily glance at their collars.

JOEY JOJO (CONTD)

Thats right. Youve figured it
out. Those collars will behead you,
if you dont listen to our
instructions.

HARRY
W-what instructions?

JOEY JOJO
Happy Island is a competition.
Its a death match. You all have to
try, and kill each other. The last
one surviving, after 72 hours, wins
the grand prize of $10 million.
However, keep in mind, the first 24
hours of this contest is a no-kill
time period. This is when you forge
alliances, make shelters, craft
weapons, and find special survival
crates, and so on.
 13.

EMILY
This is fucked up, you know that?

JOEY JOJO
Just dont try to break any of the
rules. You have to participate.
There are hidden cameras
everywhere. If you try to tamper
with the game, or deviate, the
explosives in your collar will go
off.

EMMA
This has to be illegal.

JOEY JOJO
Nope. Were on an island that isnt
part of any country, and, as well,
you, and your parents signed
contracts, giving us permission to
do what were doing.

HARRY
This is evil! Youre evil, sir!

JOEY JOJO
Im not evil. Im just trying to
make a living.

LORA
How much are they paying you to do
this?

JOEY JOJO
$10 million, aaand thats my cue to
exit.
(waves)
Goodbye, everyone! Best of luck to
you!

Joey Jojo, and his crew get back onto the helicopter, and fly
away into the sky.

JACK
That son of a bitch.

CARL
What do we do now?

SINDY
I guess we have to kill each other.

All the kids turn towards each other, and stare. Priyanka
jumps in middle, and spreads out her arms.
 14.

PRIYANKA
Wait! We cant yet! The first 24
hours is for preparation! Were not
allowed to kill!

LEWIS
Awww, man. I really wanted to kill
someone.

BRUCE
Well, you sure as fuck arent
killing me. Im on my high school
wrestling team. I know how to
defend myself.

LEWIS
Im not gonna wrestle with you,
stupid. Im gonna shoot you with an
arrow from a safe distance.

BRUCE
No, youre not.

LEWIS
Yes, I am.

Bruce stares at Lewis, and then charges at him, and takes him
down to the ground.

As the others stand back, Bruce gets on top of Lewis, and

starts punching the crap out of him.

Lewis covers up with his arms, but it doesnt really help.

BRUCE
They said we cant kill in the
first 24 hours, but they never said
anything about roughing people up!

INT. 90 KERRY CRES, LIVING ROOM - DAY

Craig, Mindy, and Chang are in the living room watching

Happy Island live on TV.

They are watching Bruce pound on Lewis.

CRAIG
Holy crap! This Happy Island TV
show is awesome!

MINDY
This is not awesome! Our kids are
in trouble!
 15.

CHANG
Oh, relax. Im sure theyll be
fine.

EXT. HAPPY ISLAND, LANDING ZONE - DAY (RETURN TO SCENE)

Back to Emily, Emma, Harry, Jack, Carl, Sindy, Lora, and

Priyanka; they are still watching Bruce, and Lewis fight.

Bruce, whos atop Lewis, hits him two more times, and then
gets up. Breathing heavily, he starts walking away in the
opposite direction to cool off.

Lewis, barely conscious, groans. The others look down at him,

in his state, and then to Bruce.

As Bruce is walking a quadcopter, with a screen attached to

it, appears in front of him. He seem bewildered.

Joey Jojos face comes on the screen.

JOEY JOJO
Hello, Brucee boy. How do you do?

BRUCE
What, what is this?

JOEY JOJO
You are in big trouble, mister.

BRUCE
For what?

JOEY JOJO
You beat crap out of Lewis. That is
against the rules of Happy
Island.

BRUCE
Im following the rules. First 24
hours you cant kill anyone, right?
Well, hes not dead, is he?

JOEY JOJO
Im afraid youve got all that
wrong. The rules state, and I
quote, No participant in the first
24 hours on Happy Island may
kill, or grievously harm another
contestant.
 16.

BRUCE
Alright, so, now what? Am I gonna
be punished?

JOEY JOJO
Im sorry to say the answer is yes.

BRUCE
How will I --

The collar around Bruces neck starts beeping.

Bruce looks down at his collar (as best as he can), and

realizes whats happening. He reaches behind his neck, and
tries unclasping this nefarious device.

But just as he unclasps the collar it explodes, and destroys

not only his head, but his hands as well.

Harry, Emily, Emma, and the rest of the kids flinch as the
blood flies onto their faces.

Shocked, and disgusted, their mouths are agape; however, Joey

Jojo, on his screen, is all smiles.

JOEY JOJO
Wow! What a mess! I havent seen
that much blood since Nanking! Ha!

Emily glares at Joey Jojo.

EXT. HAPPY ISLAND, TREE LINED AREA - NIGHT

Harry, Emily, Emma, Jack, Lewis, Carl, Sindy, Lora, and

Priyanka are making their way down a makeshift path in a tree
lined area.

Emily whos ahead of everyone is holding a torch which

provides the group some light.

After a bit of walking in silence Sindy speaks up.

SINDY
Hmm, I think we should split up.

LORA
What? Thats stupid. Thats the
first step to dying in a movie.

SINDY
Yes, but big difference. Were the
killers. We have to kill each
other, right?
 17.

CARL
Not at first. After we find
shelter, then we can think about
that stuff later.

PRIYANKA
For now we work as a team. Team
Happy Island.

JACK
Fuck that. Sindys right. We
shouldnt be helping each other
out. This is dumb. Im digging my
own grave over here.

Jack marches ahead, and grabs Emilys torch.

EMILY
Hey!

Jack distances himself from the group, and turns around, and
spreads out his arms like hes da bomb.

The group stand, staring as he speaks.

JACK
Im heading out on my own. I dont
need any of you idiots, alright?
Especially you, Lewis. Fuck you,
Lewis!

Jack sticks up his middle finger, and goes off on his own.

JACK (CONTD)
PEACE OUT, LOSERS!
LEWIS
Oh, Christ, what an asshole.

HARRY
Eh, Ive seen worse.

As Jack is walking a huge, monster-size snake comes down,

hanging from a tree, and wraps around him.

JACK
Agh! Help me!

The others continue standing, and staring like they dont

even care. Except Emma. Shes soft-hearted.

EMMA
(to Harry, and Emily)
Shouldnt we do something?
 18.

HARRY
Aw, man.

Emma, Emily, and Harry run over to Jack. They grab at the
hissing snake trying to pry it away.

EMILY
Pull harder!

EMMA
Im trying!

EMILY
Wait a minute...!

Emily takes back her torch from Jack, whos being crushed,
and places it in front of the snakes head.

The snake is burned, and it uncoils, lets go of jack, and

disappears back into its tree.

Emily, Harry, and Emma look down at Jack. Jack is laying on

the ground looking worse for wear.

HARRY
Dude, are you OK?

JACK
That snake is a cunt...and it
crushed all my internal organs.

Jack spits up some blood, and closes his eyes, and passes
away; however, Emma puts two fingers on his neck to feel his
pulse.
EMMA
Oh, my God.
(looks to Harry, Emily)
Hes dead.

Lora screams. Everyone looks at her.

LORA
Eaaaaagh! I cant take the pressure
anymore!

Lora takes out a gun, and shoots herself in the head, and
drops down, and dies.

The others seem surprised. Sort of.

LEWIS
Hey, sweet, she left behind loot.
 19.

Lewis picks up Loras gun. He points it at Sindy. Sindy puts

up her hands.

Lewis squeezes the trigger, and it just goes click.

LEWIS (CONTD)
Ah, shit. No more bullets.

EXT. HAPPY ISLAND, CAMPING GROUNDS - NIGHT

Harry, Emily, Emma, Lewis, Carl, Sindy, and Priyanka are all
together, sleeping in sleeping bags. Theyre staring up at
the night sky.

PRIYANKA
Thank goodness we found these
sleeping bags. Pretty lucky, huh?

EMILY
The TV show people left it for us
to find.

PRIYANKA
Oh.

CARL
You guys are aware we have to kill
each other come morning, right? If
we dont fight our collars will
explode, and well all be dead.

EMILY
Yeah, well, Id rather die than act
like an animal for anyones
amusement.

HARRY
What about the money?

EMMA
Fuck money. What good is money when
youre a murderer?

LEWIS
I dont give a shit. If I survive,
Im gonna enjoy that money.

SINDY
What will you buy with it?

LEWIS
I dunno. Video games?
 20.

SINDY
Thats stupid.

LEWIS
No, its not. I like Super Mario.

SINDY
Hmmm...

Emily turns onto her side, and closes her eyes.

EMILY
I dunno about you guys, but Im
gonna get some shuteye. Good night,
and good luck.

CARL
Yep, I guess we better get some
rest. Who knows? Maybe when we wake
up in the morning things will be
different. The police might come,
and rescue us.

HARRY
Fat chance.

CARL
Youll see, Harry.

Emma yawns. She closes her eyes. Everyone else does too. They
all go to sleep.

EXT. HAPPY ISLAND, CAMPING GROUNDS - DAY

We focus on Harry, whos sound asleep in his sleeping bag.
But his eyes slowly open as sunlight falls onto his face. He
yawns, and stretches, and wakes up.

He crawls out of his sleeping bag, and stands to his feet. He

looks about, and notices everyone is gone. Or so he thinks.

HARRY
Hey, where is everyone?

Harry sees that Carls still in his sleeping bag.

HARRY (CONTD)
Oh, wait, Carls still here.

Harry goes over to Carl, and puts a hand on his shoulder.

Carl rolls toward Harry.

Harry in fright jumps back. Carls throat has been slit.

 21.

HARRY (CONTD)
Oh, fuck! Carl!

EXT. HAPPY ISLAND, BLUFFS - DAY

Harry walks along, and finds himself at the bottom of a cliff-

like area.

He ducks under the branch of a tree, and continues on. Then

he comes to an area, where he spots Sindy strapped down to a
wooden pallet of some sort.

SINDY
Help! Help! Heeeeelp!

Harry runs over to Sindy.

SINDY (CONTD)
Harry! Help me!

Harry starts undoing Sindys ropes.

SINDY (CONTD)
Hurry! Theres a boulder above me
thats waiting to fall!

Harry glances up, and sees on the ledge a teetering boulder.

Harry hurries, and unties Sindy. He gives her a hand, and
brings her to her feet.

Just then the boulder on the ledge tips, and begins to fall.
Harry grabs Sindy, and the two dive out of the way.

The boulder falls, and crashes into the pallet.

Harry, and Sindy, having narrowly escaped stand back up.

HARRY
Whew! That was close!

SINDY
Thank God you got here in time.

HARRY
Im just glad youre okay.

SINDY
Ah, its too bad I have to kill
you.

HARRY
You wot?
 22.

Sindy punches Harry in the face, knocking him to the ground.

She then grabs a large rock, and holds it above him.

SINDY
Die, fat boy!

As Harry is about to be smashed an arrow flies through the

air, and hits Sindy center in the back.

Sindy takes in a last breath, and with her rock, falls to the
ground.

Harry looks up, and sees Emily.

Emily is carrying a bow & arrow set, and has black grease
marks under her eyes.

HARRY
Emily?

Emily goes over to Harry. She offers him her hand. Naturally,
he takes it, and is helped to his feet.

HARRY (CONTD)
Thanks.

EMILY
Have you seen Emma?

HARRY
No, why?

EMILY
Goddamn it. Follow me.
Emily turns around, and starts walking down the path
available to her.

As Harry follows, she takes out an arrow, and places it in

her bow.

EXT. HAPPY ISLAND, BEACH - DAY

Lewis, wielding an axe, and Priyanka, holding a spear, face

off on the beach, and circle each other in the sand.

Lewis seems eager whilst Priyanka is more on the defensive.

PRIYANKA
Stay away from me, Lewis!
 23.

LEWIS
Dont make this harder than it has
to be, Priyanka!

PRIYANKA
Im warning you, slime ball!

Lewis charges at Priyanka.

Priyanka thrusts out her spear, impaling Lewis.

Lewis stops in his tracks, and stumbles back weakly. He holds

the spear as if trying to keep it from going in further. He
glances at it in shock.

There is disbelief in his eyes. He looks to Priyanka like:

How could you do this to me?

PRIYANKA (CONTD)
Its your fault, Lewis! You forced
me to do it!

LEWIS
You, you, you...bitch!

Lewis throws his axe. The axe nails Priyanka square in the
forehead. Instantly she drops dead to the ground.

Now Lewis lays down, on the sand, and succumbs to his wounds.
He closes his eyes, and then is no more.

Just a moment later, Emma comes out of hiding. She steps out
from behind a rock, and goes over to Priyanka and Lewis. She
stares at their cadavers.
EMMA
Yuck, how disgusting. Welp, better
them than me, I guess. Right?

HARRY (O.S.)
Emma! EMMA!

Emma turns around, and sees Harry, and Emily approaching.

The three meet with each other, and Harry hugs Emma.

HARRY (CONTD)
Thank the Lord Jesus Christ youre
okay.

EMMA
Im a lot tougher than I look.
 24.

EMILY
You just hid this whole time,
didnt you?

EMMA
If it works, it works.

At this moment the quadcopter with the screen returns, once

again bearing Joey Jojos face.

Emma, Emily, and Harry turn towards it.

JOEY JOJO
Congratulations, contestants! You
three are the only ones remaining
on this island! How does it feel?

HARRY
Terrible.

JOEY JOJO
Yes, but youre that much closer to
the grand prize. Now, all you have
to do is kill each other. So, what
are you waiting for?

EMILY
Im not going to kill anyone.

JOEY JOJO
Are you sure? If you dont, then
all three of you will die. Whats
the point of that?

EMILY
You cant kill me, if I kill
myself.

Emily then faces the sea -- where there is a dorsal fin

sticking out of the water, moving around. Is it a shark?

EMILY (CONTD)
Ill commit suicide by shark!

Emily throws aside her bow & arrow set, and then starts
walking ahead.

The others seem keen on this idea.

EMMA
Wait, Im coming too.

HARRY
Me, three!
 25.

Harry, and Emma catch up with Emily. The three of them hold
hands, and get into the water.

JOEY JOJO
(watching)
Wow. What a display of love, and
camaraderie, and friendship...
Stupid, fucking idiots!

The quadcopter with Joey Jojos face flies away.

JOEY JOJO (CONTD)

Im king of the world!

Meanwhile, the trio are still slowly wading into the sea with
the shark. Theyre nervous, but accept their fate.

The water soon reaches all the way up their necks,

unintentionally submerging their collars.

Their collars, with a sharp sound, visibly fizzle out, and

break.

Emily, Emma, and Harry all take notice. They look to each
other.

HARRY
What just happened?

EMMA
I think our collars shorted out.

Emily takes off her collar, and holds it up. Nothing happens;
she throws it away.
Harry, and Emma take their collars off as well, and also toss
them into the sea.

EMILY
Well, lucky, lucky! Were alive!

Emma points to the fin in the water headed their way.

EMMA
What about that shark?

HARRY
Time to get the fuck out of here!

Emily, Harry, and Emma run for land as the fin in the water
follows them. They get out just in time.

They look back to the waters, and see that its just a
harmless dolphin.
 26.

EMMA
Aw, its just a wee, lil dolphin!

Then an actual shark jumps out of the water, and wraps its
jaws around the dolphin. It submerges, and disappears with
its food.

Harry shakes his fist.

HARRY
Damn you, Jaws!

EMILY
The shark in the movie wasnt named
Jaws.

HARRY
I know that. This is another shark,
Emily.

INT. HAPPY ISLAND HQ, WAR ROOM - DAY

Akira, Kiku, Haru, Ryu, Shin, Yoshi, and Joey Jojo are all
sitting around a table, watching Emily, Harry, and Emma climb
up a hill, having escaped their fate.

AKIRA
This is unacceptable! The
contestants have not died!

Yoshi bangs his fist on the table.

YOSHI
Release Richard Parker!

EXT. HAPPY ISLAND HQ - DAY

Emily, Harry, and Emma finish climbing up a hill. They spot

the headquarters of Happy Island.

EMMA
That must be Happy Island
headquarters.

HARRY
You know, I --

Suddenly the ROAR of a tiger is heard. Everyone looks back,

and see a tiger on the prowl.

Emily, Harry, and Emma run for the door. Emily tries pulling
it open to no avail.
 27.

EMILY
Its locked!

HARRY
All together!

Emily, Harry, and Emily grab the handle of the door as the
tiger named Richard Parker starts running towards them.

Just in time they pull open the door, and the tiger runs
through it.

EMILY
Shut the door!

Emily, Harry, and Emily push the door to close it.

That done, Harry turns his head to Emily, and Emma.

HARRY
OK. Now what?

INT. HAPPY ISLAND HQ, WAR ROOM - DAY

The tiger from outside bursts through the door to enter the
war room.

Akira, Kiku, Haru, Ryu, Shin, Yoshi, and Joey Jojo seeing
this all scream, and jump out of their seats, and make a run
for it.

The tiger charges, and jumps on Akira, and takes him down
with a big bite to his neck.

EXT. HAPPY ISLAND, VANTAGE POINT - DAY

Emily, Harry, and Emma are together on a vantage point. It is

the highest point on Happy Island, offering a magnificent
view of the land.

Here we see that Emily is holding a flare gun in her hand.

She points it up, and shoots it into the air. The flare
travels toward the sky, and shines a brilliant light.

Emily lowers the flare gun, and, from exhaustion, mentally,

and physically, lets out a deep breath.

EMILY
There. Its done. We should be
leaving the island soon.
 28.

INT. HAPPY ISLAND HQ, WAR ROOM - DAY

All the Japanese executives, and Joey Jojo have been reduced
to literal skeletons.

The tiger Richard Parker is casually lying on the table,

chewing someones femur. He seems pleased with himself.

EXT. HAPPY ISLAND, VANTAGE POINT - DAY (RETURN TO SCENE)

Emily, Emma, and Harry are waiting for their pick up.

Then a helicopter comes out of the sky, and touches down.

The door opens up. Inside are Chang, and Craig, and Mindy,
who is flying.

CHANG
Whats up, mother fuckers!

Emily, Harry, and Emma dont respond. They look absolutely

exhausted. They climb into the helicopter, and take their
seats.

Chang closes the door, and Mindy begins take off.

MINDY
Here we go!

The helicopter does a circle, and heads away from Happy

Island.

EXT. HAPPY ISLAND - DAY (CONTINUOUS)

Emily, Emma, Harry, Chang, Craig, and Mindy continue flying
in their helicopter away from Happy Island.

EXT. HORIZON - DAY (CONTINUOUS)

They carry on, going towards the horizon, where a blue sea,
and fiery sun is before them.

CRAIG
So! Hows everyone doing?

EMMA
Terrible.

HARRY
Could be worse. At least were not
skeletons.
 29.

MINDY
Whats that mean?

EMILY
Oh. Its a reference to a scene
that happened earlier.

MINDY
(confused)
Rrrright.

EMMA
Hey, do you think well get any
compensation for participating on
Happy Island?

CHANG
Quick life lesson for you, Emma:
When life gives you lemons, theyre
taken away, and you get a handful
of steamy dog shit.

EMMA
I dont like that lesson.

CHANG
Learned it from the School of Hard
Knocks, bitch! Ha-ha! No,
seriously, I never went there. I
went to a regular, normal school.

HARRY
Good grief, dad.

FADE TO BLACK.

EPILOGUE:

Following a class action lawsuit, Sakuraba Media was ordered

to pay out millions of dollars as recompense to all the
victims, and contestants involved in the Happy Island TV
show.

Harry, Emily, and Emma were handsomely rewarded for their

troubles. The trio quickly took to celebrating, and went on a
supervised road trip to Las Vegas, where police officers
seized all their money via civil forfeiture.

Now theyre back to being broke as fuck.

THE END.
 30.

For more information on civil forfeiture please visit:

www.endforfeiture.com