12t h EDITION | PERSONAL C OAC HING

FEATURE ARTICLE
Life Exchange Rate!
by Barbara J. Cormack

COACH TOOLS

How should coaches

deal with the issue of
WORK LIFE BALANCE?
by Malcolm Nicholson

Seek Harmony Instead of Balance

by Alicia M. Rodriguez
Promote Healthy Thinking
DE CEMBER 2015 by Taryn Harris
ISSN 2050 - 6724
12
The Work-Life Balancing Act
by Ronita Neal
12 772050 1 1 2015

THE NUMBER 1 MAGAZINE FOR LIFE AND BUSINESS COACHING

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 EDITORS NOTE
Welcome to yet another exciting edition of the International
Coaching News (iCN) online magazine! For our 12th edition our
theme is Personal Coaching. This edition is loaded with content on a
variety of relevant topics on the issues that come with managing people, various leadership
and relational styles to improve and enhance relationships and so much more.

The ICN is proud to have collaborated with several renowned international columnists,
expert coaches and best-selling authors to provide insights on executive coaching. In this
edition look out for our feature article from Barbara J. Cormack of France Life Exchange
Rate, where Barbara teaches us on how to balance between personal life and professional
life - the importance of identifying where we are spending our time, need to be spending
our time, and want to spend our time. In our Coaching Tools Section How should coaches
deal with the issue of Work Life Balance? by Malcolm Nicholson from United Kingdom,
highlights tips and techniques that can help leaders and coaches drive or reinforce the
changes they want to make to themselves or for their clients. Another noteworthy article
is Habits and how to break them by Pam Rigden of the United Kingdom. It is the first
article in the series, which covers six key NLP strategies that Coaches can safely use to
support clients who want to give up bad habits. The Work-Life Balancing Act by Ronita
Neal from Australia draws on concepts that unpack the chemical activity inside our brain
that determines our moods and helps to regulate our general functioning.

Each of our columnists, too numerous to mention, have taken some really interesting
perspectives, and I would encourage a thorough read-through of this edition.

Just like all our other editions, this edition is not just an interesting read, but it provides you
with helpful coaching tools, personal development ideas and professional development
techniques to grow your business.

We appreciate your support and look forward to your feedback!

Lovelia
Lovelia Caracut
Editor, iCN Magazine

DISCLAIMER:
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this magazine are those of the authors and do not necessarily
reflect the official policy or position of the International Coaching News Magazine, or Noble Manhattan
Coaching Ltd.
 TABLE OF CONTENTS
4 Editors Note 18
by Lovelia Caracut
8 iCN Team & Contributors
20
10 Habits and how to break
them
by Pam Rigden
SECTION: Coaching Tools
22
13 How should coaches deal 27
with issue of Work Life
Balance?
by Malcolm Nicholson
FEATURE ARTICLE
38 by
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Seek Harmony Instead of 44 Promote Healthy Thinking
by Tarryn Harris
Balance
by Alicia M. Rodriguez
46 Why Personal Change is
Important for a Conscious
Dont Let Fear Bite You in
the Butt -
Leader
3 Ways to Tell If Youre 29 When is coaching not Life
Coaching
by Floyd Carlson
Selling Out
by Lane Cobb
by Michele Armstrong
47 The Winner, Lady Learning
and Charming Mr. Bond
by Rosana Nedelciu
Not All Coaching Clients
Technology of 31 Need Work/Life Balance
Celebration
Recognizing Value in a
by Marcia Reynolds 50 From Balance to
Integration, the Role of the
Powerful Way Four Mindful Strategies to Coach
by Kim Sawyer by Cedric Lefebvre
33 Live Abundantly
by Sandra Miniere
5 Tips for Creating
Balance in Your Life
53 Why a Coach?
by Gary Gasaway
by Anne M. Bachrach
From Confusion to Clarity
54 - Through Transpersonal
Life Coaching
by Jean Gilhead
Do You See What They
35 The Work-Life Balancing
Act
56 See? (Part 1)
by Ronita Neal by Reginald Jackson
Life Coaching - indeed, a
59
41 Optimal Performance and
the Secrets of Harnessing
unique journey of Equals
by Namita Sinha
Personal Energy
Life Exchange Rate!
Barbara J. Cormack
by Stuart Haden
8
 ICN TEAM & CONTRIBUTORS
iCN Core Team
CEO
Gerard ODonovan (United Kingdom)
DIVISION HEAD
Leeann C. Naidoo (South Africa)
EDITOR
Lovelia Caracut (Philippines)
IT/CREATIVES & DESIGN
Verge Gamotan Jr. (Philippines)
SENIOR MEDIA CONSULTANT
Laura Jane Pauffley (United Kingdom)

iCN Media & Advertising iCN Contributors

Ioana-Roxana Cozma, Media Pam Rigden (United Kingdom)
Consultant - Romania/Spain Malcolm Nicholson (United Kingdom)
Alicia M. Rodriguez (USA)
Lane Cobb (USA)
iCN Associate Editor / Kim Sawyer (USA)
Journalists Anne M. Bachrach (USA)
Rafal Jaros Associate Editor, Michele Armstrong (United Kingdom)
Poland Marcia Reynolds (USA)
Blint Zsuzsanna Hungary Sandra Miniere (USA)
Rosana Nedelciu Romania Ronita Neal (Australia)
Julia Mines - USA Barbara J. Cormack (France)
Olgierd Graca Poland Stuart Haden (United Kingdom)
Viktoria Soos Hungary Taryn Harris (South Africa)
Floyd Carlson (USA)
Design & Layout Cedric Lefebvre (Belgium)
Gary Gasaway (USA)
Joyce Sy (Philippines)
Jean Gilhead (Spain)
Reginald Jackson (USA)
Namita Sinha (India)

HABITS and How to
Break them
In this series of articles NLP for Coaches: How to enhance your coaching practice with NLP Pam
Rigden BSc, MA, NLP Coach and Trainer will be explaining how Coaches can use NLP in their practice
to create value for their clients.
In this, the first article in the series, we will be
covering six key NLP strategies that Coaches can
safely use to support clients who want to give up bad
habits. However, before looking at the strategies in
more detail, it is important that you understand from
an NLP perspective, what habits are and how they
develop.
So what is a habit?
Habits are learned patterns of behaviour which we
have developed because right back when we first
tried the habit, it either made us feel good or simply
enabled us to feel less bad. People feel the need to
move away from pain, discomfort and unhappiness
and more often than not choose to go about this in
ways that invariably leave them feeling worse, for
example by using excessive alcohol and drugs. The
problem is that in the here and now many of these
habits have simply gone past their sell by date.
However, because the unconscious mind wants us to
feel good, it is difficult to override the old patterns
even when we would like to.
A SIX-STAGE NLPAPPROACH FOR COACHES
1 Find out whether your client is ready to change
Experience has shown that a client attempts to break
a habit will be unsuccessful if they are not truly ready
and committed to making the change. It is important
to help them assess their readiness. It may be that
your client is contemplating change, but is not quite
10
11 INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS
by Pam Rigden (United Kingdom)
ready yet. The following questions have proven to be
useful:
Would you like to break your habit?
Are you prepared to change?
If not, whats stopping you?
Are you ready to make a change now?
If not, when will you be?
Assuming your client is ready encourage them to get
started right away. Procrastination, after all, is just
another bad habit!
Enable your client to understand the positive
2 I feel better about myself
intention that supports their habit
NLP presupposes that there is a positive intention
behind all human behaviour, no matter how unhelpful
that behaviour might be. The key to breaking the habit
is to help your client understand the positive intention
that underlies their habit and to help them find another
way of satisfying the intention. This in itself will
make letting go of the habit far easier. For example,
where it is established that a client is comfort eating
then your role is to help them explore new, healthier
ways to satisfy that need for comfort.
Clients give up on their good intentions to break their
habits because there is, and always has been, a good
intention supporting the habit. The original positive
intention has been present for longer, is more familiar
and therefore feels comfortable on one level, even
when your client is saying that they want to change.
The following question will elicit the positive
intention:
What does that INSERT HABIT do for you?
A typical conversation might go as follows:
Coach:
What does comfort eating do for you?
Client:
Well, apart from feeling sick, it
makes me feel better
Coach:
And what does feeling better
do for you?
Client:
When I feel better I feel less anxious
Coach:
And what does that do for you when
you feel better and less anxious
Client:
I feel in control
Coach:
And what does that do for you when
you feel in control
Client:
I can get on with things
Coach:
And what does that do for you when
you can get on with things
Client:
Coach:
And what does that do for you when
you feel better about yourself
Client:
I feel as though what I have to say
matters. I feel as though I have a
voice. I feel as though I can make a
difference in the world.
As your client listens to their words, and recognise
their positive intent, they gain a different perspective
on the habit and in so doing, they stop giving
themselves such a hard time and are able to choose
to behave differently. Keep asking the question a
process known as chunking up - and remember to use
your clients exact words; this is key.
3 Enable your client to focus on a positive outcome
and new habits that support the outcome
While discomfort with a habit can initially be
motivating and can persuade a person to take action,
it also keeps the focus on the unwanted behaviour,
and focussing on what you dont want is rarely as
successful as moving towards what you do want.
It is therefore vital to set a positive outcome frame
and have your client shift their thinking toward that
outcome.
The aim is to let the unconscious mind know what
it is aiming for; when we begin to think like a for
example, the behaviour follows suit and the more we
practice the new thoughts, the easier it will become
because we learn by repetition. It is as simple as that;
you use the skill that landed you in the habit in the
first place to embed the new habit.
Ask the following questions:
What do you want?
Should your clients initial response in fact be what
they dont want, such as:
Client:
I dont want to eat too many crisps
Then you can ask:
What do you want instead?
Client:
I want to eat healthily
You can then chunk up on the positive outcome
by asking:
What will that do for you?
When your client understands what their new
behaviour will do for them the outcome becomes
more compelling. Finally, you can ask:
What new habits will support this outcome?
11
 4 Help your client embed the new habit(s)
Having identified what it is that your client wants
exactly their positive outcome - and the new
habit(s) that will support that outcome, it is useful
to help your client embed the new habit(s) using a
techniquecalled The New Behaviour Generator. This
pattern allows your client to mentally rehearse the
new habit(s) before actually trying them out.
Practice the technique a few times yourself and with
other Coaches before using it with your clients.
Be clear what the new habit is that you wish to embed,
such as selecting healthy food in the supermarket,
for example.
New Behaviour Generator
1. Look down to your left and talk to yourself. Ask
yourself, What do I want to do differently? Say
to yourself, If I could select healthy food in the
supermarket, what would that look like? As you
say this
2. Look up to your right and see yourself putting
healthy food items into your shopping trolley as
though you are watching yourself in a film. Notice
the effect upon any other people involved.
3. Look down to your right and, as you do so, step
into the experience and feel how it is. Notice what
happens to your state. This check is a crucial one.
It enables you to evaluate your new behaviour
and make any necessary adjustments.
4. Cycle rounds at least three times
5. Future pace. Think of a time in the future when
you will want to choose the new behaviour, for
example, your next visit to the supermarket.
Imagine yourself in that context and then run
through the new behaviour. As you watch yourself,
notice what happens and then step into the future
you and experience the feeling.
N.B. Reverse the eye movements for left handed
clients
Enable your client to act as if
12
11
A useful question to ask your client is:
Who do you need to be to live the life that you want?
To answer this question, your client will literally
have to step into the role of the new non-habit
person. Eventually, as they play a different version of
themselves, like an actor playing a part, their family,
friends and work colleagues will relate to them as
the new version of themselves. This recognition
reinforces their new sense of self, making it easier
to adopt new habits and follow through. It is also
important to celebrate each achievement on their
journey, however small, because the more evidence
there is to back up the clients belief that they are
succeeding, again the easier to adopt new habits and
follow through.
5 Belief in your Client
Finally, the most important element of this approach
is your belief that your client will succeed. If you
dont believe they can break their habits, how can you
expect them to believe in themselves!
ABOUT PAM RIGDEN:
Pam Rigden is a Lead Trainer and Coach at
NLP for Coaches
After qualifying as an NLP Master Practitioner,
Coach and Trainer, Pam designed NLP
Training for Fitness Professionals, the first
course of its type in the world. Subsequently
recognised as one of the worlds leading
experts in the application of NLP and
Coaching to health and wellbeing, she has
presented at conferences in both the UK
and internationally in the USA, Australia and
Canada.
Pam has since moved back to the UK to be
closer to her family and is living in Lymington,
Hampshire. As well as managing NLP for
Coaches, Pam mentors students with mental
health issues at Southampton University and
Winchester School of Art on a part time basis.
SECTION: COACHING TOOLS
How should coaches deal with the
issue of Work Life Balance?
by Malcolm Nicholson (United Kingdom)
What are the pressures that cause leaders put their health and non work life at risk?
Why do so few people see them and even fewer act as examples to a better way of working and living?
Coaches need to be aware of what is making work- that predetermine our responses. These include:- a
life balance such a big issue and have a range of need for community and a fear of the outsider; a need
techniques to hand. How big an issue? Well, in market for security and a fear of death; a need for clarity and
response terms, a simple Google search for Work life a fear of the future; a need for authority and a fear of
balance books brought up 121 million results chaos; a need for respect and a fear of insignificance.
(1)
The impact of the external world has been well
documented. Global workforces, new entrants who are Whilst the operating system hasnt changed, for
working for a step change in personal economic status many people the working environment has changed,
that the west takes for granted, pan-continental trade dramatically. Traits that were needed to for survival
deals, the way businesses are measured and funded, havent adapted to the new virtual cyber environment.
with their constant need for growth and more for less. The way we instinctively react to the volume of work
This has been exacerbated by 24/7 technology. The will be driven in the main by this hardwiring.
technological revolution hasnt finished and we are
now at the stage where the enabling technology is aSo why the draw to work? Why do we find it so
disruptive force, overwhelming us with unrelenting wooing?? Lets not forget that work has always been
Communication. Just look at the amount of time a socially based activity from hunting and agrarian
people spend scanning or sending transactional economies onwards. We can achieve far more through
responses with no depth of thought. We are alreadyworking with others than we can on our own. It does
the most over informed, under reflective people in the
seem to be in our blood and is based on some pretty
history of civilization. (Kegan & Lahey). deep seated human needs. Much has been written
about theories of motivation, which are beyond
This all impacts peoples internal world. We still the remit of this article. Instead, lets look at some
have fundamentally the same operating system ways that work fulfils the needs of Browns Human
that helped us evolve from a stone age species; Universals listed above.
Consequently we have a number of common drivers
INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS | COACHING TOOLS 13
 Firstly of course there is a salary. This provides for
the keep alive stuff like food and shelter as well as
the self actualization stuff like hobbies and holidays.
It also provides the social standing stuff like the
property and belongings. This feeds into our fear of
the future What if I lost my job how will I pay for
everything? and our need for future financial security.
It also provides us with a routine, security and social
interaction. From that comes status the company
name, the job title, office and all the mayoral chain
trappings that go with it as well as the opportunity
to gain and exercise power. Kilburg (2) looks at
leadership behaviour and how some personality
disorders can lead to a need for power.
Even delegating tasks of substance or importance is
difficult for some leaders. Many admit to me that they
and their peers are operating at a level below that at
which they should be contributing. Its comforting to
oil the tappets in the warmth of the engine room and
not be on the freezing bridge. This creates a bottleneck
that impacts everyone involved with the organisation.
Leaders are making thousands of tiny decisions There is, as ever, a spectrum of different individual
that are constantly interpreted and implemented by requirements that coaches encounter. As a result
themselves and others. coaches could be complicit with their client if they
did not at least question and probe such issues.
So, how does the executive coach intervene in such This is where the experienced coach can, like a jazz
circumstances? Considering we are dealing with musician, discard the toolkit and intuitively use
some core identity issues which leaders have built up their deep knowledge to create a real time coaching
over their careers and may not even be aware of, its conversation to tease out any underlying baggage or
a pretty tall order to impose work life concepts on unresolved issues. Probe, test, feedback.
successful people such as these. In fact, the executive
coach may get in the way with such scurrilous talk!

Work tasks provide varying degrees of mental

stimulation, the participation in or completion of The eminent author,
which can provide an intrinsic satisfaction. psychologist and coach
Some Leaders I have worked with just are not happy Richard Kilburg said:-
Some people may achieve altruistic outcomes through in their own skin and so relish the busy-ness of task
their work and have vulnerable people relying on focused activities, where they dont have to think
them. There is also the non-work status as the hunter about inconvenient doubts about who they really are.
gatherer or provider for dependents. For example, a
On the whole, the coaches who come
at the work of leadership/management
client from India with whom I worked was saving to This all adds up to an identity, which may be one that from what we could call an adjustment/ The coach needs to keep their saw sharpened. On
open a school in his rural village. is enhanced by work compared to that of the person wellness perspective largely miss the the basis that only complexity can absorb complexity,
not in work. Add all this together and it becomes mark with folks on the way up the chain coaches need to have an appreciation that is equal
There are also various degrees of the macho alpha evident that the work satisfies many human needs. of command and those at the top. Those to or greater than the issues facing their clients.
male Lunch is for wimps approach and being the folks, the ones we should be aimed at as Developing access to expert thinking, be it from
first in and the last out. Particularly in consultancies Consequently, we become pretty good at absorbing clients in my view, have largely placed courses, self development, supervision or knowledge
or service businesses that have billable hours. the pressure of work as its loaded on to us, but less work performance and career at the sharing is important to keep the coaching approaches
so at letting go, going home early or attending a non- apex of their cognitive, emotional, and fresh.
Our identity in the non work environment can feel work family related appointment. At this point the social lives. Encouraging them to find
enhanced by being busy. We also live in a competitive graphically named Boiling Frog syndrome comes balance is virtually impossible. What So how does the coach add value around work-life
society, and so by lamenting our overwork and sleep into play, where work commitments insidiously they are truly interested in is finding the balance?
deprivation - even if that requires work week inflation ratchet up and up and become our new habits. The sweet spots of expert performance in
and claiming our worst nights are typical - we show energy cost of doing things differently is so high that the various domains they choose. We At a meta-level, as Richard Kilburg said, helping
that we are dedicated to our jobs and our families. we dont bother unless were forced. Rarely, without get in their way when we introduce our leaders do what they do better in the role may
Being busy and starved for time is a way to a compelling event, do we take time to ratchet down. be the most appropriate approach for them and the
ideologies. That said, some of them do
show we matter. Put another way, it makes us feel Gallwey refers to this as performance Momentum. business. They may benefit from receiving feedback
burn out or find themselves in life crises
important. (3) (4) or increasing awareness about the impact they as a
with an absence of meaning once they
leader are having on a business and working through
get there. Those folks usually can be
it.
aided with some foci on their inner worlds
because there is no performance without
An interesting cross disciplinary
sacrifice and ignoring the costs along the
approach comes from Tony
way can come back to bite them and their
loved ones very, very badly.(5) Schwartz and associates who
talk of managing our energy
not our time - as opposed to
working flat out from dawn till
In my own practice over 16 years I have certainly dusk and beyond. His book The
come across many such individuals. If leaders/clients Power of Full Engagement
are fulfilled through their work, who are we as coaches is a number one best seller on
to question that? business book lists. (6)

14
11 INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS | COACHING TOOLS 15
 The constant increase in external pressure on the
working environment means the role of coaches often
starts with creating space to probe and explore the
individual constructs around the work life balance
space. Working life can be seen as a set of beliefs
(a construct) that is also made up of choices. Work
can be approached as sequential episodes or chapters
in a persons life, in which leaders can reflect, gain
learning and insights and greater understanding, ready
for the next chapter. This should be about themselves,
the impact they have and the requirements of their
people. Yes, there will be periods of heavy workload,
but greater awareness enables people to ratchet down
when appropriate and not constantly up. The culture
an organisation possesses is a construct and one
driven significantly by those in charge.
Looking forward, the requirement to flex down
as well as up is likely to increase as Generation Y
become more embedded in the working population.
Instead of working long shifts to work their way up
an organisation the millennial generation prefers
flexible working schedules and a more rounded
work/life balancefamily life takes priority over
the workplace. Many Generation Ys have grown up
with overworked parents and this has driven the new
perception to work. (7)
Finally, at a pragmatic level, some simple tools &
techniques can help leaders drive or reinforce the
changes they want to make. See the sidebar Work-
Life Coaching Tips for some simple techniques to
feed into the process.
16
11 INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS | COACHING TOOLS
WORK-LIFE BALANCE
COACHING TIPS
The following are some ideas to add
to coaches existing repertoire. They
arent exhaustive but have proved very
useful both to clients and myself. A
senior business development executive
thanked me and told me he had got
back 25% of his working week by using
some of the following:-
What are the must do, would like
to do and could do items? Build the
must do non work activities (which
will never happen again like family
school events) into the diary.
Accept the situation. Freud said
that imbalance is part of the human
condition. If its worth doing, its worth
doing properly. Be present where ever
you are and give the situation your
full investment of attention, focus and
energy.
No is the new Yes. Dont take on things
that arent your responsibility or wont
in the, longer term, benefit your career.
When possible, make others demands
fit in with your schedule. Push back
timings most will be a discretionary
figure.
Be smarter and more ruthless with your
time.
Dont be a perfectionist. There certainly
isnt time for it in todays environment.
Beside which, most people will only
scan your work anyway!
Beware the smell of burning Martyr.
Catch yourself or others saying that
its only they who can do a job and if
it wasnt for them this place would fall
apart.
REFERENCES
WORK-LIFE BALANCE
COACHING TIPS (1) Donald Browns book Human Universals, quoted in
Marcus Buckingham The One thing you need to know
2005 Simon & Schuster pp.137-141
Apply the 5 Ds law to anything
that comes your way:- (2) Richard Kilburg Executive Coaching: Developing
Managerial Wisdom in a World of Chaos American
Psychological Association (1 April 2000)
- Delete it
(3) Laura Vanderkam Are You As Busy As You Think? Wall
- Delay it
Street Journal. Updated Feb. 22, 2012
- Delegate it
(4) W.Timothy Gallwey The Inner Game of Work Thomson
Texere. 2000
Then, and only then
(5) Correspondence between Richard Kilburg & the author
- Do it
2015.
But make sure you are putting
(6) Jim Loehr & Tony Schwartz The Power of Full
time constraints on it to
Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to
High Performance and Personal Renewal Free Press 2003
-Diminish it. Be aware of
the types of tasks, issues or
(7) www.generationy.com/about-generation-y-in-the-
opportunities that beguile you
workforce/characteristics/
and pull you into the weeds.
Create some reflective time
each week. A sadly lacking
commodity in the current
business environment. Even if
its the journey to and from work,
make some time to reflect on
the past, toady and future. Look
at what and how you need to get
achieved. What impact do you
want to have?
Match your contribution level to
your role. Keep on the bridge not
ABOUT MALCOLM NICHOLSON:
the engine room.
Malcolm is the owner and Coaching Director
Career bests happen when people for Aspecture, and has worked successfully with
work hard, work as a team, learn a wide range of senior business people for over
and are made to feel valued. Part 15 years, enabling them to improve business
of feel valued is providing the results through transformational changes.
support and latitude to allow for (see www.aspecture.com). To find out how
non-work time. he can help your organization contact him at
malcolmnicholson@aspecture.com or on +44
1932 267597.
17
 able to make adjustments and decisions when you
have more options. When the crisis or event is
over, you can then adjust back as needed and you
Seek HARMONY avoid the burden of judgment about whether it was
good or badit just was, you adapted and your
Instead of Balance life worked despite the unexpected occurrence.
Harmony is based on adaptability that considers
by Alicia M. Rodriguez the complexities of your whole life.
(USA)
Step away from your life a bit and begin to think
of the many aspects of your life and how they
are interrelated. Build in additional resources to
cushion the unexpected. Feel confident that you
can adjust fluidly to challenges. Remember you
have four areas of support: time, money, energy
and resources. Withdraw from all of these as ABOUT ALICIA M. RODRIGUEZ:
needed without compromising one or two. Adapt
without guilt or judgment. Harmony will enable Alicia is a transformational teacher,
you to feel that you have more choices and that no leadership advisor and personal guide.
one area of your life needs to take the She is a dynamic speaker, author,
brunt of the additional strain of blogger, writer and visionary whose
lifes unexpected challenges. work unites the world of business with
Begin to think harmony wisdom, mindfulness and spirituality.
instead of balance and The base of her own wisdom lies in
One of the greatest saboteurs my clients face, especially women, is the myth of balance. As a coach to busy see how that affects the her studies of spiritual teachings,
people and as an entrepreneur myself, the amount of responsibilities and pressure today can be overpowering. choices you make. psychological frameworks, cognitive
Who has not felt overwhelmed at some time? Particularly women who manage multiple roles are prone to feel science studies, and ancestral wisdom
like jugglers constantly shifting to manage all the things in their lives. With all the hype about balance and traditions. She lives on the Chesapeake
leading a balanced life women are destined to fail miserably. Bay where she engages her passion
for kayaking and writing and in South
America, where she lives part-time and
The current definition of balance is a set up for When you affect or influence one area of your life, hosts healing and creativity retreats in
failure. Our lives are complicated and unpredictable. inevitably other areas are also affected. So if you her home by the ocean.
Especially for women, balance creates an either/ get a new job, you may have to allow more time for
or dynamic which translates for women: damned if commuting which means you may have to move your Personal Coach
you do/damned if you dont. For example, I can work day-care from one town to another, which means www.aliciamrodriguez.com
out and take care of myself or I can do the grocery you may need to allow more money to pay for that
shopping; I can go to work and have a career, or I day-care, on and on. Balance is a duality. Harmony Leadership Coaching
can be a stay-at-home-mom. Because of womens is integral and whole. You are either in or out of www.sophia-associates.com
multiple roles, and the lack of support for these in balance, only two choices. Harmony seeks a synergy
our culture, the myth of balance imposes double bind of multiple parts of the whole that allows flexibility,
situations and unrealistic expectations. We proceed to expansion and contraction, all at the same time in
beat ourselves up over not being able to do or have order to keep your life fluid, healthy and thriving.
it all. It does not get much better for men either,
who have their own set of cultural expectations that
Harmony allows for more choices and takes
leaves little time or even permission for self-care, for
advantage of multiple shifts in your use of time,
following a passion or for going to their kids games
money, resources or energy. If you consistently think
and activities. in terms of maintaining harmony, instead of balance,
you can put in place additional reserves of energy,
Harmony is different however. Mother Nature time, money or resources for those times when you
provides the perfect model for harmony. Consider are met with the unexpected. You create more options
weather patterns or the ebb and flow of the tides. for being successful even when under some strain.
Natures harmony takes into account the whole Harmony allows for more flexibility and it increases
system, not merely one or two aspects of a system. your awareness of your environment. You are better

18
11 INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS
 3 Getting Defensive
If you notice that you feel the need to defend your
reasons for selling out or even getting nasty with
anyone who dares to challenge them, fear has already
Dont Let Fear Bite taken a chunk out of your tender backside.
You in the Butt So, now that I have given you a few of the signs of
selling out, you know what to look for. And, if you
of the exact outcome, positive action yields positive
results. Being open to possibility empowers you to
take bigger actions and increases the potential impact
of your actions in the world.
So, the next time you are out to make a change,
whether in your own life or in the world, instead of
letting fear bite you in the butt, put your butt on the
line and stop selling out on your dreams!

-3 Ways to Tell really want to be effective and make an impact in the

world, you will have to not only watch for these signs,

If Youre Selling Out

you will have to do whatever it takes to overcome your
fear and move forward. Here are some suggestions
for how you might do that:Make a list of all your
by Lane Cobb (USA)
excuses, and see which ones hold water. Chances are
that, if you are honest with yourself, you will find
that none of them are really insurmountable, and if
they are, ask yourself whether or not you are really
committed to taking the actions you promised. If you
are not willing to act in spite of your fear, chances
are you were not ever really committed to doing what
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to sell out on yourself when you are up to big stuff? Have you also you said.
noticed how hard it is sometimes to share with others what you are up to, because you do not want them ABOUT LANE COBB
to hold you accountable, even when you are sure its something you want or even need to do to make Instead of clamming up, talk about your concerns.
an impact, either in your own life or in the world at large. Whether you are changing careers, leaving Sharing with a friend or partner can often help to oil Lane is a Speaker, Transformational
a relationship, investing in your future, or altering the course of humanity, the degree to which you will the wheels of creativity and get you back on track. Author, and Spiritual Life Coach
have an impact is directly related to your ability and willingness to stay in action, regardless of what fears Its even better when you can share with someone committed to helping women create more
may threaten to knock us off the path. who does not have their own agenda, like a coach or joy, freedom, prosperity, and authenticity
committed listener who will help you identify your in life. Creator of the Intuitive Body
Listen, there isnt a person alive who has not sold If you find yourself coming up with reasons concerns rather than give you advice. Coaching Method, Lane helps women
out on themselves at one time or another. Being and excuses why you cannott or should not move connect with their divine essence and
afraid of change is a natural part of life. Its not at forward (time and money are the two biggest Lastly, be open to possibility. Fear of the unknown is make right choices, so they can live their
all useful and its a total pain in the butt, but its a culprits) you can be sure that fear is getting ready a major stop for many people who are committed to purpose and fulfil their rightful destiny. You
part of life, nonetheless. The other thing about fear to bite you in the butt. creating change. Of course its impossible to know may contact Lane at www.LaneCobb.com
is that you may not recognise its present until you what the future holds, but whats true is that, regardless or call 443-756-8391.
have already sold out. Its OK. Breathe! There is 2 Clamming Up
a solution, which is to learn to recognise the signs
of selling out before you actually do it. I have
listed three of them. I have also listed solutions for
each of them, so read on

3 SIGNS OF SELLING OUT

1 Making Excuses

If you notice that you are not sharing yourself as

much as usual, being closed off, or avoiding having
conversations about what you are up to, fear has
already clamped down, and youre really starting
to feel it.

20
11 INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS

TECHNOLOGY OF
CELEBRATION
Recognising Value in a
Powerful Way
by Kim Sawyer (USA)
What is Celebration really? A party? A loud exclamation, Yay!? Sort of. These are examples of celebration,
but what does that concept really mean? Most of us have only a very vague emotional idea of that. Yet the
ritual of celebration may be one of the most important ingredients for our success as human beings in every
area of our lives.
Its all about Value. What is a value? Why have
values? What is their purpose?
Very basically value is anything that each of us has
decided to contribute to our living a good life. It is the
fundamental motivatorwhat drives us to move and
act toward things. A value is anything that a person
acts to gain or keep. If I do not act to gain or keep
it, it is not really a value to me, regardless of what
I may proclaim. We have all heard the dictum, If
you want to know what someone truly values, look at
their chequebook and their calendar.
The purpose of values is to guide us toward success
in life, as we each define it. It is one thing to value
something; we can value a multitude of things, but
how am I to decide moment to moment which thing
I value to act toward? In fact, at the WealthSource,
we look at every moment of life as an investment
decision; of all the things I can choose to do with my
assets (time, money, energy, attention, love, service,
principles, etc.), which one will generate the most of
what I value in return? We believe that success as
a human being to create the most of what we value
most (wealth) during our lives. Therefore, making
22
11 INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS
stuff is the rule and bad the exception, combined with
that choice in the right way is the key success factor
in life. Value is the very stuff of life.
So how does value connect to celebration?
Well, let me start with the idea of ritual. A ritual
(secular or spiritual) is any activity or conversation
which purpose is primarily to shift the state of mind
or state of relationship for those who participate in
it. Rituals can be welcomes, goodbyes, beginnings,
endings, honouring, oaths and vows, etc.
Celebration is a ritual a ritual about value.
Celebration is any thought process, activity or
conversation whose purpose is to acknowledge,
grasp, appreciate and experience the impact and
meaning of something or someone valuable in our
lives. Think about it; every form of celebration you
can remember or think of having this as its essential
common characteristic. All the other details are just
different variations and applications.
So, why Celebration? Why have we evolved this
ritual in myriad forms in every society and culture
everywhere and everywhen? (Ok, so I invented a
word, but its a cool word and it works.)
Celebration is directly and fundamentally tied to our
basic underlying, overall mindset toward Life. I refer
to this as our Sense of Life. I am convinced that
our ability to enjoy life and function well requires us
to maintain a fundamentally benevolent sense of life.
Sense of life has two components; one is our World-
view.
It is my core belief that I live in a benevolent or
malevolent world or somewhere in between? A
benevolent World-view is comprised of a deep,
usually unconscious emotional equivalent of the
belief that the world is a friendly place where good
the conviction that I have a place in it.
The second aspect is Self-view; do I hold myself
in self-esteem or self-contempt or somewhere in
between? Similarly, it is deep, usually unconscious
and emotionally experienced, and it is a combination
of self-worth and self-confidence. Do I deserve good
stuff and am I basically up to the challenges that
living in the world will bring my way?
As humans, we all have a Sense of Life both
components; we cant help it we are wired that way,
and all of us have a primary set point somewhere
on the +/- spectrum of each. It has evolved, mostly
subconsciously over years, experiences, decisions,
choices and actions. I can be changed, but very slowly
with a lot of hard work. In addition, all of us can have
our moment to moment experience of our Sense of
Life shift up or down around that set point in response
to our circumstances and actions.
Another important part of our psychology as human
that we also cannot help having is our survival
mechanism. Thank goodness that we have it and that
it operates so well when we truly need it. However,
there is an inherent and unavoidable side-effect that
can be very problematic to our Sense of Life.
Because our survival mechanism is built to
autonomously (we cant help it) react with massive
intensity on my levels (chemical, muscular, neural,
emotional, mental) when confronted with anything
we consider a threat to our well-being, we are left with
a profound, powerful and the lingering recollection
of that experience. The power and half-life of even
relatively minor negative experiences are far
greater than positive experiences even very good
ones. In other words, whenever we make a mistake
or the world places a bad turn of events in our path,
the memory of them hit hard and lasts a long time,
whereas when we do something well or something
favourable to us happens, the memory flickers briefly
and is rapidly forgotten.
The difficult consequence of this process is an
unavoidable ongoing distortion of our influence on our
sense of life toward the negative. We all know in our
calm thinking moments of awareness the occurrence
of mistakes and things gone wrong is statistically
minuscule relative to all we do successfully and things
gone well; nonetheless, we all tend to predominantly
either ignore or take for granted our successful
functioning and the smooth goings on of our lives.
All the while we reverberate with our errors and
misfortunes, reliving and replaying them consciously,
talking about them with others and dreaming about
them at night long after they occur and fade into the
past.
23
So we all navigate through our lives with this constant The celebration process may seem forced and fake, INVENTORY THEM Simply begin to focus on VALUABLE FOR WORLD? Identify as many
inner-pressure to increase our doubt of ourselves and as we probably dont feel the emotional response to these items, forcing ourselves to brainstorm as many ways as you can that the win/gratitude made the world
the world we inhabit. Without a conscious and a it especially when we need it the most. But it serves of them as we possibly can. a little better place.
usually challenging effort to compensate for it, our its purpose and soon the emotions respond to the RECORD THEM. Many folks find that it intensifies VALUABLE ABOUT YOU? Identify as many ways as
sense of self and sense of the world skew to the dark reclamation of our formerly hijacked consciousness. the impact of the process to write them down. you can that the win/gratitude demonstrated valuable
side. This does not bode well for our ability to live The paradox in celebration is that the more we need
our lives with excellence, success, prosperity, love it the harder it is to do, but is the only method I have SHARE THEM. The impact really escalates when characteristics and qualities of your/the world
and joy. discovered to master our sense of life and thus our we share the list with another person SHARE IT! Celebrate the win/gratitude by telling
state of readiness to live well. GIVE THANKS FOR THEM. People with religious another person all of the above.
What can we do? How can we deal for this pernicious and spiritual beliefs that involve a Divine Being, will
stowaway in our cerebral cortexes? How can we Now to take a further look at the phenomenon of offer prayers of appreciation for these gifts so freely In conclusion, this process of paying attention to
continually correct this distortion adjusting and re- celebration, we see that there are basically two forms, given. the countless gifts and effective actions in our lives
correlating our conscious view of ourselves and our each one corresponds to one of the two aspects of counters the instinctual fixation we have with the
TEND TO THEM! Finally, the most powerful way relatively very small set of unfavourable situations
lives? sense of life our sense of self and our sense of the
to implement and sustain this attention redirection and mistakes that occur. Put these tools to good use,
world. The form of celebration that addresses our
effort, is to TAKE THE ACTIONS that take good not only when your state of mind has been hijacked
So what is the antidote??!! .CELEBRATION! world view is celebrating gratitudes, and the form that
care of what is already in your life. by your troubles, but also when you want to energise
Celebrations, in this context, can be seen as deliberate relates to self-view is celebrating wins. your emotional reserves and heighten your capacity
conscious efforts to break the hold that negative Celebrating Wins (Addresses Self-view) to perform well and live successfully.
things have on our awareness and viewpoint Celebrating Gratitudes (Addresses World-view)
and refocus our attention on the good things. One In order to help you take action and remedy the loss
manifestation of that survival mechanism of ours Celebrating gratitude, as a form of ritual, is the of sense of self and the overwhelming impact of a
is that it instantly forces our attention into a sort of thought process, activity and conversation whose narrowed world view due to the survival instinct
tunnel vision on the threat. This is a good thing for a purpose is to acknowledge, grasp, appreciate and tunnel vision, I offer you the Antidote the
survival response, but as I described above, wreaks experience the impact and meaning of the valuable Technology of Celebration Tool and Guide for
havoc on our attitude and outlook. things and people that exist in our world which
we have not directly made to be there. Gratitude is Download.
The immediate antidote to that tunnel vision is to an effort a deliberate process, though because a Technology of Celebration Tool and Guide
force ourselves into a process of celebration. This feeling may follow from the act, most of us mistake Download
literally and almost mechanically cracks the lens that the feeling of gratitude and overlook the action
constrains our view and expands our awareness back altogether. Of course, this totally disempowers us and
to the entirety of ourselves our lives and our world leaves us at the mercy of our sense of life and our Celebrating Wins, as a form of ritual, is the thought
as a whole. We suddenly realise that though (often) feelings neither of which can we directly control. process, activity and conversation whose purpose is
real, our problems are only a very small part of the This attention to all these countless gifts in our lives to acknowledge, grasp, appreciate and experience the
whole picture. With our survival mode tunnel vision, counters the instinctual obsession we have on that impact and meaning of the valuable things we do.
the problem is all we see; it becomes our whole world, relatively small set of unfavourable situations that we Celebrating Wins is an effort a deliberate process.
and our world becomes no more than the problem. have not created. Without it, we are totally disempowered and at the
mercy of our sense of life and our feelings neither
of which can we directly control. This attention to all
these countless small to large things we do well in
our lives counters the instinctual obsession we have
on that relative small set of mistakes we make from
time to time. ABOUT KIM SAWYER

ARTICULATE IT Clearly articulate the win/
gratitude, in terms that have an impact on you when
you read them.
VALUABLE FOR YOU? Identify as many ways as
you can that the win/gratitude created value for you
in your own life.
VALUABLE FOR OTHERS? Identify as many
ways as you can that the win/gratitude created value
for other people in your life.
24
With over twenty years of diverse
business experience; Kim Sawyer have
started businesses, led companies,
and been involved in almost every
aspect of a business enterprise. With
expertise in the area of leadership,
professional and business effectiveness
and entrepreneurship, today he coach
and facilitate key business people and
teams to create greater wealth for their
organisations and themselves.
5 Tips for Creating Balance in Your Life
Anne M. Bachrach (USA)

Is your life truly in balance? Dont be so quick to answer yes. Leading a balanced life doesnt mean living
50/50 between your personal and business lives. Its about having enough time to do what really matters to
you, whether thats turning a nice profit in business or spending quality time with your family.

If you feel as if your life is out of alignment, read
and implement the tips below for creating even more
balance in your life.
1 Identify whats important to you
Theres no right or wrong way to go about creating
balance in life. This truly is a to each his own
situation. Do you desire more time with your
family? Maybe you are more interested in travelling
the world? Do you want to be more fit and healthy?
Or, perhaps you just want to focus on building your
business. Contrary to common belief, balance does
not have to equal out to 50/50. If you are content with
the way you divide your time, your ideal of balance
could work out to be 60% work and 40% family time,
or vice versa.
Are you where you want to be right now? If not,
you need to evaluate what you need to do to get
there. Your dreams and aspirations are important
and should not be thrown away. If something in your
life is consuming too much of your time, and its not
bringing you closer to achieving your goal(s), then
some adjustments will need to be made before you
can achieve your goal(s). There is a high price to pay
when you give up on your dreams, so always work
toward achieving professional and personal goals
that are meaningful to you.
3 Think outside the box

2 Evaluate your current circumstances

Is your life in balance with your values? Its easy

to be excited about reaching a goal, but is what you
want or what someone else wants for you (or for
themselves)? This can be a fuzzy area for a lot of
people because they allow the desires of someone
else to mask their own. Before they know it, they
really dont want what they thought they did.

INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS 27

 This is where you can get creative. Begin to consider
creative ways to either create more time and/or
money. Maybe you can take on a part-time job for
one year and earn an additional $30,000 to do with as
you please. Or perhaps you want to go back to school,
but dont want to go into debt. Maybe youve had a
difficult time finding a new job in town or building
your business. Consider moving to another city or
state - even a foreign country. Thinking outside the
box will allow you to come up with solutions you
may not have considered before.
4 Redesign your life around your values
If your life is out of balance, it may be because your
life does not match your values. Redesigning your
life when there are others to consider may get a little
tricky, but it will be well worth it in the long run. The
most important thing to remember is that sacrificing
happiness will not bring balance in your life - or the
other way around. You first have to design your life
from the inside out (around your values) for it to be
in balance - not to mention to experience any level of
happiness. Its amazing how much easier life seems
when you design it in line with your values. You will
find greater satisfaction in many, if not all, areas of
your life if you start with the core and work outward.
To download my complimentary values clarification
exercise to help get you started on really defining
your values, go to http://www.accountabilitycoach.
com/values-clarification/
5 Evaluate your progress every three months
To be sure you stay on track and remain in balance
according to your values, reevaluate your plan and
make minor tweaks as needed at least once each
quarter (every three months). You may need to
delegate more tasks out to an assistant or implement
a more strategic way of managing your time. If you
find that changes are not being made either by lack
of action or resources, its time to take a good look
28
11
in the mirror. Ask yourself what you really want
and create a new list of goals. Prioritise whats most
important to you and focus on rebalancing your life to
accommodate those goals.
Creating balance in life wont happen overnight; it
may take weeks or months. The important thing is
to be sure your goals are really what you want. It
does not matter what someone else wants for you - it
only matters what you truly want. Always start from
within and work outward - not the other way around.
Although you may have others to consider (children,
spouse, significant other, partner, etc.) when making
changes to your life, they should never be the reason
you do not create a life that allows you to be happy
and successful.
To help you get started, complete your personal
Wheel of Life and Quality of Life Enhancer
exercise you will find on my website (http://www. When is coaching NOT
Life Coaching?
accountabilitycoach.com/coaching-store/inner-
circle-store/) These resources are complimentary
under the free Silver Membership. Get an actual
reality check on your current situation and then create
by Michele Armstrong (United Kingdom)
a game plan for where you want to be and by when.
Balance in your life will bring even more happiness In reflecting on my coaching practice over the past 14 years, I asked myself when did I stop life coaching
to you. Start today. and turn my focus to other forms of coaching (e.g. personal, business, executive and leadership coaching
to name but a few). It seems that, since the turn of the century, the coaching industry has developed, not
only in size, but also in diversity in a good way. I only need to look at the coaches-in-training who come
through our training programmes to see the broad scope of coaching approaches being delivered today
and to appreciate how the industry has responded to the needs of its clients.
I started out as a life coach in 2001 when meeting requesting certain types of coaching. Initially I
another coach at a networking event or conference promoted myself as a life coach and so personal
was a rare occurrence. Then things began to change coaching clients were the mainstay of my business.
and I noticed the influence on the type of coaching I was then asked to deliver some Performance
I offered. Firstly, I noticed the increasing number Coaching for a group of managers after the massive
of life coaches appearing at every networking organisational change had sucked the energy out of
event I attended. Todays equivalent would be the those who remained. Shortly afterwards, the CEO
ABOUT ANNE M. BACHRACH increasing number of dog walkers who walk past me of that organisation asked if I would coach him
in the place where I live or, more interestingly, who and this led to me taking on other executive board
Anne is known as The Accountability drive past in vans displaying interestingly named members and senior leaders as clients and gradually
Coach. She has 23 years of experience doggy-walking businesses (Paws for Thought being my identity shifted from life coach to performance
training and coaching. Business owners my personal favourite) coach to executive or leadership coach.
and entrepreneurs who utilise Annes
proven systems and processes work Through time, I noticed that although the number Through choice and commitment to ethical coaching
less, make more money, and have a of coaches continued to increase, the term, life practice, my coaching skill and competence have
more balanced and successful life. Anne coaching almost disappeared and the value developed with the practise and experience I have
is the author of the books, Excuses Dont assigned to the role (even by other coaches) was had over the years and my own supervision and
Count; Results Rule!, and Live Life with being minimised. continuous professional development have ensured
No Regrets; How the Choices We Make that I continue to grow as a coach. However, what
Impact Our Lives, No Excuses!, and The It was not only the coaches themselves who were is the real difference between all of these different
Work Life Balance Emergency Kit. altering the industry landscape; buyers of coaching forms of coaching and have I really waved goodbye
were becoming more discerning and specifically to my life coaching roots? Not a chance; because
INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS 29
 what Ive learned from my own coaching practice is
that, no matter what terminology we use to describe
our work, the work itself is defined by the people
engaged in it and the one thing they all have in
common is life itself.
Let me explain what I mean by sharing some examples
(with details changed to maintain confidentiality).
Case Studies
Brian, the managing director of a medium sized
business commissioned me as an executive coach and
used the sessions to explore ideas that he was unable
to share with other stakeholders in the business.
While he talked strategy, got frustrated over his own
knowledge gaps or shared his excitement over every
breakthrough his company achieved I was noticing
and feeding back to him the recurring patterns of
thought, feeling or behaviour that were helping of
hindering his progress.
When Sarah experienced a major drop in confidence
over a particular group of team members who
challenged her authority and her patience, coaching
provided the safe space where she could let down her
front, embrace her vulnerability and regroup before
heading into the next week with new resolve and
different actions to experiment with.
Alex was on the brink of breakdown (his words)
and didnt know how to cope with the increasing
workload, the constant demands to do more with
less (his bosss words) or how to stabilise his work-
life balance. Until, during one coaching session, he
realised that work was only one aspect of his life
and that balance could be found by attending to other
areas (like health and well being, spirituality, family
and so on) in the balance of the time he spent thinking
about work.
Conclusion
30
11
By reflecting on these (and other) live (executive,
Not All Coaching Clients Need
business and performance) coaching clients, I became
aware they were no different from the life coaching
clients that I previously worked with. Their issues
were personal, impacting at times in their professional
context, and underneath it all, they were people, living
Work/Life Balance
their lives in the best way they could. What became by Marcia Reynolds (USA)
real to them - and to me - was the fundamental need
to embrace life as a whole; to give attention to the
things that are important. For me, coaching is about
learning for life. Regardless of where my clients come
from or what they do, they are all living, breathing
human beings who do not stop being the person they
are when they go to work. If their desired outcomes
centre around work or performance issues, then so
be it; together we will explore how to achieve them
and generate the actions that will hold the focus of
their attention in that direction. However, more often
or not, the hurdles that get in the way of achieving
business goals, company targets or KPIs are personal Many of my coaching clients laugh when the concept of work/life balance is mentioned. They not only think
and they show up as thinking, feeling and behavioural it is an impossible dream, they dont see it as a desirable goal to pursue. Why should they feel guilty about
patterns in every area of life. Which, for me, prompts spending time doing what they love? They understand that they need to stay healthy and be present when they
the question: when is coaching not life coaching? are with family members, but trying to balance their activities does not leave them feeling refreshed. One
woman told me, If I were to spend more time at home with my children, I would drive them crazy. She found
ways to get everyones needs met without going home from work at a specific time every day.
Even the clients that come to me with the need for friends and visits her sisters family on holidays, but
more joy and calm in their lives are not looking to she loves her work and her life. She is happily out of
decrease their workload. They are not looking for balance.
balance; they are looking for peace of mind.
Instead of working on equally balancing activities, I
Whats similar about these clients is the level of work with these clients on balancing their mind and
passion they have for their work. They start work body. They can happily live with their passionate
early and often work late because they have a strong obsession if they dont tip into mental and physical
sense of purpose and satisfaction with the contribution fatigue. Here are some tips for maintaining mental
they make for others. They do schedule time for self- balance without work/life balance.
care and if they have children, they dont neglect
ABOUT MICHELE ARMSTRONG their families. They are not afraid to ask for help and In order to sustain an active mind while passionately
seek true life partners, not people stuck on traditional doing what you love:
Michele has been coaching for 14 parenting roles. The ones without children dont feel
years and currently runs her own coach alone or unhappy. 1 Keep your body healthy.
training business, Acorn Principle
Plus. In addition, Michele provides Balance for these clients is a mental goal, not an If you want to maintain a long work schedule, you
executive coaching for a few core activity allotment. need to keep your body in good working order. Walk
client organisations and operates as or ride a bike more often for transportation. Climb
an Associate Coach with Equate an One woman told me she felt lost before she found stairs instead of taking the elevator. Take 10 minute
organisation supporting women in STEM the job she over-commits her time to. She works for movement breaks throughout your day to wake up
industries. Michele recently gained a post a no-kill animal shelter. When not at work, she thinks your circulation. You will get better results in your
graduate certificate in the neuroscience about how to improve the care of her children and work when you take the time to shake things up. Also,
of leadership from Middlesex University &
raise funds for the shelter. Before she found this work, eat healthy meals instead of what you can gobble
Neuroleadership Institute and is currently
she spent more time with friends, but often drank down in quick breaks. Sleep at least seven hours so
studying for the MSc in Mindfulness with
too much and then squandered her weekend nursing you can concentrate more fully on both work and
Aberdeen University.
hangovers. She still shares moments with two good people.
INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS 31
 2 Maintain social bonds.
Whether its your family or your friends, you need
a few significant relationships where you can
occasionally be together without working. You dont
need to give equal time to this with your work, but you
do need to carve out the time to stay connected. If you
go to a movie once a week, enjoy some time afterward
talking about what you saw. Eat meals together. Take
walks and play games with your family. Your social
connections keep your mind healthy.
3 Regularly notice the world around you.
I do give my clients homework to teach their brains
how to be present to the wonder of life and gifts of the
moment. Though they start with being present to the
beauty of nature, they move into being present with
people and seeing the beauty and brilliance in each
soul they encounter. In my book, The Discomfort
Zone: How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations
into Breakthroughs, I teach the readers how to be
present with their mind, heart and gut. The truth is,
people want you to be present more then they need
you to be perfect. My clients learn to give people
present, loving moments, which is more important
than spending hours with someone when you would
rather be doing something else.
These tips can be combined. For example, your
clients can take regular walks with family and friends,
enjoying them while you are exercising. Then, if
they find a long list of emails that came in while
walking, they can determine which ones need their
full presence in the moment and which ones can wait
until tomorrow, practicing being present.
Of course, your clients dont like their work or feel
their purpose lies elsewhere, working too hard will
be a drain. Even if you work with them to discover
their purpose, you can also coach them to find what
gives their lives meaning every day. Even doing little
things for people can help your clients feel they are
living life on purpose even if they never discover
one, overarching purpose for their life.
32
11
To help them feel they are living on purpose, consider
asking these questions:
What do you feel you should have done by
4
this time in your life? Can you create a similar
impact, even on a smaller scale, with what you
do now?
Mindful Strategies
What do you want to feel more often in your
life? What gives you these feelings now?
to Live Abundantly
How can you feel good about the impact you
by Sandra Miniere (USA)
have on others every day?
Hopefully, they will come to appreciate the hours
they give to their work, which in turn, should help
them feel more satisfied with their hours outside of
work, balanced or not.
Help your clients balance their body and mind
even when they cant balance their work. They
can take small breaks for exercise, break bread with
others, and regularly stop to appreciate that they have
the opportunity to do good work. Out of balance
doesnt mean out of whack if they keep their minds
and bodies healthy.
Are you addicted to seeing what is missing in your life instead of the fullness that already exists? After
hearing my inner voice give thanks for my lovely home and wishing it had larger rooms and more storage, I
had an epiphany. Suddenly I realised that giving thanks and asking for more at the same time is a habitual
pattern with me.
I thought I had overcome a deprivation mentality Making the mental shift to this higher perspective
that began in my childhood, but apparently it still takes awareness, commitment, purposeful action
keeps me in a subtle state of longing. Instead of and grace. As you change your distorted earthly
acknowledging and feeling the fullness of what I perception of lack, you will see your world through
have, my mind focuses on something I lack. The the eyes of the Spirit and attract more fulfilment,
principles of the Law of Attraction explain that harmony and abundance into your life.
longing attracts more longing. I now understand
how I manifest limited abundance. Here are a few strategies that keep your attention
ABOUT MARCIA REYNOLDS on the abundance while living in a reality that
Developing an awareness of the abundant creative challenges this spiritual truth:
Marcia works with organisations worldwide,
flow is a challenge in todays world. Some are
providing Executive Coaching and
dealing with survival needs and others desire BECOME GROUNDED IN THE
leadership training. She is the author of
something or someone that will make them feel KNOWLEDGE OF AN ABUNDANT
three books, Outsmart Your Brain, Wander
happy or fulfilled. Most of us need help focusing on CREATIVE FLOW:
Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find
Contentment and Direction, and her latest gratitude and fullness instead of luck.
on leadership coaching, The Discomfort You need to believe it before you can achieve it.
Zone. She is the Training Director for the The process I discovered integrates then transcends Find transformational leaders, books and principles
Healthcare Coaching Institute, regularly the abundance/lack polarity within our minds: We that verify this truth. Speak to others about their
works with coaching organisations in go from a perception of lack (I do not have what I insights, experiences and doubts. Mastermind
China and Russia, and is the president need to survive.) to abundance/lack (I am grateful groups and workshops for spiritual enlightenment
of the Association for Coach Training for what I have and need more.) to ABUNDANCE and co-creation come in many forms. The objective:
Organizations (ACTO). Her doctorate is in (I HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED RIGHT Grow in the reality that you and your life are in
organizational psychology. Read more at NOW.). The final perspective is a gift of grace and divine right order in an abundant universe.
www.Outsmartyourbrain.com creates an unshakable knowing in ABUNDANCE
as a spiritual principle within the universe.
INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS 33
 STOP THE WHAT IS MISSING THINKING
WHEN IT BEGINS:
Challenge and change the thoughts that point out what
is missing. Discipline your mind to stay in gratitude.
The time to visualise what you want and create goals
is not the same time to experience the fullness that
already exists. Each time you feel full, complete and
grateful, you are attracting more to you. This feeling
brings your desires to you in accordance with your
highest good.
CHOOSE TO SEE FULLNESS IN YOURSELF
AND IN YOUR LIFE:
Even though you observe the world and yourself
struggling with lack, hold the ideal perception of
abundance in the Present Moment. Abundance is a
part of you and is unfolding within you and your life.
This is not denial or wishful thinking. It is a choice to
see beyond the world of limitation created by the ego
personality. The new mindset takes practice, practice,
practice before it becomes a habit. As you do your
part and invite grace into the process, you will soon
reap rewards beyond your expectations.
gratitude for all you have. The feelings of gratitude
will outshine your misperception of luck. You will be
able to look right through this illusion into the realm
of an abundant creative flow. Abundance has many
aspects if you are willing to look. It shows up in your
health, relationships, possessions, creativity, work,
money, physical surroundings, wisdom, spirituality
and more. While struggling in one area of your life,
you may have abundance in another.
The Work-Life
In a vivid dream many years ago, I observed a
dark slowly flowing river in front of me. It had no Balancing Act
boundaries and nothing could withstand its power. I
by Ronita Neal (Australia)
knew I had to jump into that river and become one
with this universal energy. After observing it for a
while, I jumped in and a great PEACE came over me.
When I get caught up in what is missing, I think
about that image and trust that all is flowing in divine
right order. This abundant creative energy is freely
given from the Creator. I invite you to jump in and
experience the truth, peace and fullness that come
from merging with it.
Abundance is your natural state of being!

TURN THE OUTCOME OVER TO A

HIGHER POWER:
There has been so much written on the topic of work-life balance. This term seems to have hijacked the
national conversation over the last 5 years or so. My question is what does it mean? How would I
know if I have reached this mythical balanced state? Finally what is the point?

Instead of trying to control outcomes, trust that a
Higher Power is in charge. Ask Spirit to help you
observe with clarity, do your best and know at the
deepest level of your being that what you seek
is seeking you and leading to your highest good.
Acceptance and gratitude for what is happening now
allows you to feel whole and full and transforms you
into a master co-creator within an abundant universe.
As you implement these strategies, you will replace
a mindset of what is missing in your life with
ABOUT SANDRA MINIERE
Sandra Miniere, M.Ed., is an Integrative
Wellness Coach and Emotional Freedom
Techniques practitioner. She is an
author, speaker and writer, and she gives
workshops on a variety of integrative
wellness topics. A former holistic mental
health counselor, she has been helping
people transform themselves and their
lives for over 30 years. In her book, A
Lighter Side to Cancer - From Wake-up
Call to Radiant Wellness, she shares
her uplifting and empowering adventure
through breast cancer fourteen years ago.
and helps to regulate our general functioning.
One of the problems I see in this discussion on spend our time (the activities we are doing and
work-life balance is that we do not have a good the environments we are in) as well as how we
understanding of WHY this topic is important and think (whether we tend to think with a positive or
so it is difficult to know WHAT needs to be done negative bias). These things contribute to whether
in order to get the good OUTCOMES from paying our brain has a healthy balance.
attention to this area.
From my point of view, our understanding the
emphasis on balance needs to be much deeper.
While the discussion has been about balancing the
time or energy we spend on the various aspects of
our life (Work, Family, Friends, Spiritual, Health,
etc.) we cannot hope to work out what this means
for us without understanding WHY. Yes, the final
outcome is that we are healthier and happier, but it
is the HOW that is important.
In order to be happier and healthier what needs
to be BALANCED is our brain the chemical
activity in our brain that determines our moods
This chemical balance relates to both how we

34
11 INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS 35
This then also relates to our general physical health,
mental health, energy, focus, and ability to contribute
to those around us. HOW we achieve this will be
different for all of us. If we love our work and enjoy
what we do every day we may be able to maintain a
great sense of well being while working long hours
because we will be generating a great deal of positive
chemicals in our brain every day. If we work in a toxic
environment or in a job that is a bad fit, then we will
not be able to maintain a sense of well being without
taking time and doing activities to balance the negative
chemical load placed on our brain while we are at
work. Conversely, one of the pieces of advice normally
given in the discussion of Work-life balance is that ABOUT RONITA NEAL
you should spend more time with family. This will not
be helpful if your family environment is toxic and so Ronita Neal is currently the President
you will need to look for one of the other areas to help of International Coach Federation
provide more positive input to your chemical balance. Australasia Queensland Branch. Over
the last 25 years she worked with an
Coaches are in a great position to help people work amazing range of people, businesses
through these issues by providing an objective partner and organisations in a number of different
to help evaluate whether all the different areas of life a roles including as a psychologist,
making a positive or a negative contribution to overall consultant, trainer, coach and facilitator.
mental balance. They can also help identify (and Using a combined framework from the
support) changes that may move some of the negative areas of Neuropsychology, Occupational
contributors more to the positive side. Positive Psychology and Coaching
Psychology, she has devised programs
A great starting point for promoting a more positive to help Leaders and Workers to be more
chemical balance is regular moderate exercise MindWise in the way they work and
(moderate here means to the point of huffing and manage. This will enable to boost both
puffing). This not only promotes better balance but their personal and their team performance
also promotes the correct environment within the brain (through improved engagement and
to support the changes and clear thinking that will be productivity) in a sustainable way.
necessary to bring things into better balance

FEATURE ARTICLE
Life Exchange Rate!
by Barbara J. Cormack (France)
Personal Coaching is all about helping each individual make one or more changes to their life. As a coach
one of the things that we have to be aware of is the time that it takes to make a change. Often this starts with
trying to find time for the coaching session, then trying to find time to do the actions that the client says that
they will do, all the while trying to keep a balance of life around them.
The phrase Work/Life Balance is one that we have all
heard for many years, but what is Work/Life Balance?
Some say that its a modern day dream which comes
from the minds of overworked professionals who
want to have it all. They want to be able to work,
have a significant other, have a family, have a great
social life, go on fabulous holidays, maintain a
healthy lifestyle, while cramming it all into 24 hours
a day. How can you have a balance between work
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11 INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS | FEATURE ARTICLE
and the rest of your life if work always has to be the
priority? It is said that in the USA, one five people
work from home, so ask yourself what happens with
those of us who work from home?
What is Life? What is Work?
The standard coaching Wheel of Life allows each
person to segment their life and often you will see
work as one segment, but really work is multiple
elements. So in this example Ive split the Wheel of
Life into two halves Work on the left and Life on
the right.
When you consider that of the 168 hours you have
each week, you spend 40 hours on work. That is
less than one quarter of your time 23.8%. If you
sleep on average 8 hours a night, you are sleeping
for about a third of your life 33.3%. That totals to
57.1%.
The challenge though with work today is that using
todays technology, it is hard to switch off work.
Emails come through on your mobile, on your iPad,
on your laptop, and on your desktop computer. Social
media is the same. Years ago I had a mobile phone
which allowed me to set switch off time. It was
fabulous. It meant that after 7pm in the evening, no-
one could get hold of me unless they had my home
phone number. No work encroached on my personal
life. Today though sadly this feature is no longer
available and I have to remember at 6pm each evening
to switch off my mobile and I do! Added to which
shock! horror! I do not have emails or social media
on either my mobile or my iPad. I have been asked
many times: how do you survive?
Well I go back to the days when I used to walk out
of the office in London, catch the train and read a
book, then get in the car and drive home; I had a clear
defining line between work and my personal life. If
the world was so successful in those days, whats
changed today? Nothing more than our impression
of importance.
There is a wonderful quote from Henry David
Thoreau.
The price of anything is
the amount of life you
exchange for it.
is important that you are true to yourself when you
There is an expectation that we can have it all, while
giving a larger amount of our time to work. I have
sat next to people on trains and in planes who have
to be available! They have to be doing something that
demonstrates to their boss that they are working.
Why? With technology today, there is an expectation
that you are available. Who set this expectation? Your
boss? Your colleagues? Your clients? No! You! I
know that people cannot believe when I tell them that
I work between specific hours and that, for example,
I am never available in the evening.
One episode provided me with a clear understanding
of how much time I spent at work and how little life
I had. So when I used the Wheel of Life to determine
where I was spending my time, I got this result.
I did the calculations and realised that I was spending
over 80% of my time working and sleeping. Taking
into consideration that I was sleeping for on average
6 hours a night you can see that the majority of the
time was spent at work.
My life exchange rate was definitely not in my favour
and if I had still been investing in the money markets
I would be losing.
How do you become aware of your own life exchange
rate? Simply doing the same exercise.
Take a standard Wheel of Life and enter into the
segments all the places you are actually spending
time, where you need to be spending time and where
you want to be spending time. It can include things
like watching TV, reading a book, chatting to
friends, and playing games with my children. It
determine where you are spending your time, where
you want to be spending your time, and where you
need to be spending your time.
39

Then rate each segment, where 1 is no time at all or
not enough time, through 10 where you are spending
exactly the right amount of time. What does your life
exchange rate Wheel of Life look like?
Its easy to say that technology is to blame, and
although technology is making it easier to be
accessible; technology is not to blame! You make the
decision to prioritise your time and often you will be
re-acting rather than considering. What do I mean by
this? Each person has their mobile phone within easy
reach. Each time it bleeps, rings, beeps, or makes
a sound; there is this intense need to pick it up and
see the reason. It works based on a fear of missing
something and has brought into this world an urgency
which is disproportionate to its priority. Although
technology has created the opportunity to feel that
everything that is happening is urgent, it is your
relationship with your technology that is off-balance.
Go back to what I said about automatically switching
my mobile off at 7pm or physically switching it off at
6pm what happens to those messages? They are still
there the next time I switch the mobile on! The world
has not shut down. They have not disappeared.
they show a positive life exchange rate, a balance life,
and it is one that they are enjoying, who are we to
say that it is wrong? Simply living a more holistic Optimal Performance and
and balanced life is a life that will allow you to enjoy
every minute of it. the Secrets of Harnessing
Thinking about Henry David Thoreaus quote The
price of anything is the amount of life you change for
Personal Energy
it, how do you understand your life exchange rate? by Stuart Haden (United Kingdom)
Simple! Identify where you are spending your time,
need to be spending your time, and want to spend your
time. Clarify if this is balanced! Confirm that this is
where you want to be spending your time. If your life
is not balanced and you are spending too much time
at work, then now is the time for you to make the
decision to have a positive life exchange rate!
Living the personal and professional balanced life of
your dreams
is a journey of self-discovery and achievement!
Barbara J. Cormack
www.nyasa.biz
THE NEED FOR ENERGY
Have you ever been coaching someone who had the following challenges?
Unable to relax, lack of physical drive, build up of resentment, narrow minded or searching for direction.
Well, maybe not these challenges exactly, but I am sure you and your coachee can resonate with the demands
of modern day life and not having enough time in the day, or energy in the tank. Perhaps they have resisted
identifying with these challenges, so let me ask you another question. Do they ever reach for the following
coffee, chocolate or energy drinks?

The advantage though of giving up a number of
things that I thought were important was that having
made these changes, I can now create a Wheel of Life
which shows how much time I spend at work and in
my life.
Ask yourself or your client the question how much of
your life are you exchanging for work?
Some people, and I know past clients of mine, who
will tell you that their work is their life. If it is and
ABOUT BARBARA J. CORMACK
Barbara is your leading Spiritual Coach,
Mentor and Trainer; published in five co-
authoring books, and author of two of her
own. Barbara is an advocate of achieving
in every arena of life. Her clients hold her
in high esteem as her style of working
makes the knowledge of your future,
clear, inviting, and achievable; while her
style of coaching or mentoring makes
the possibility of sustainable change
compelling, exciting, and achievable. She
combines her extensive background and
experience with a keen insight into the
demands of balancing the personal with
the professional.
The list goes on. Of course we have all found ourselves
reaching for a short-term energy kick, the question is
how often does your coachee find themselves in this
place?
Over the last few months I have been busy designing
and recording online courses. This medium is in my
view really going to take off as a learning platform, so
I was really keen to include a module on how we can
harness personal energy. Having already explored
narrative coaching in an earlier module I designed
this module with the coach (and leader) in mind so
that they can work with others to improve their energy
sources, and therefore reduce their need to reach out.
Calories and money saved, vitality and well being
boosted. Here are some questions for your coachee,
do they need to
Harness energy by tapping into their energy
sources to increase vitality?
Put fuel in their tank?
Develop physical resilience to continuously
evolve during turbulent times?
Tap into emotions that increase the level of
motivation for what they do?
Broaden their mind to new possibilities and
goals?
If you are not already convinced, if I said to you - by
participating in this programme your coachees can
increase their energy by 25%. Would they sign up to
work with you? Well with some simple energy hacks
that I will reveal shortly, I believe this is possible.
The other thing to note is that many of these hacks
are increasingly being applied in society today. The
old world of hierarchy (blocking energy) and jobs for
life (channelled energy) are quickly becoming a thing
of the past. This not only gives us more opportunities
to harness personal energy, it makes it vital for our
survival. The new world now encourages choice,
authenticity, play and freedom.

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11 INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS | FEATURE ARTICLE INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS 41
 The other thing to note is that many of these hacks
are increasingly being applied in society today. The
old world of hierarchy (blocking energy) and jobs for
life (channelled energy) are quickly becoming a thing
of the past. This not only gives us more opportunities
to harness personal energy, it makes it vital for our
survival. The new world now encourages choice,
authenticity, play and freedom.
Brendon Burchard has written a great book called
The Charge, describing 10 human drives that make
people feel alive. Preferring Charged people to Caged
people he reminds me to point out some of the most
common mistakes our coachees might experience.
People are often found wanting in this area because
they are putting goals before energy - moving too
quickly, disregard for physical needs, letting things
build up, tunnel vision and ignoring purpose.
THE SOURCE OF ENERGY
Lets take a look at the source of energy, how we can
find it, its framework and effective techniques such
as being present and free from the ego. The source of
energy is hidden within society, but the examples to
follow should allow it to surface. A quick delve into
quantum physics and history should complete this
journey.
Your coachee will only find the source if they...
SURRENDER Eckhart Tolle gives the
wonderful example of being in prison. If
you are in prison you have to surrender. You
have three options: to see out your time, to
get parole or escape. Either way you have to
surrender, neither option is possible unless
you show vulnerability.
CONFORMITY step out of conformity and
be authentic, or as Richard Bach describes in
Jonathan Livingston Seagull, You will begin
to touch heaven, Jonathan, in the moment that
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11 INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS
you touch perfect speed. And that is not flying
at a thousand miles an hour, or a million,
or flying at the speed of light. Because any
number is a limit, and perfection doesnt have
limits. Perfect speed, my son, is being there.
PRESENCE - visually your coachees energy
should resemble the typical bell shaped curve.
The past and future sits either side of the
middle, with presence at the centre.
EGOLESS if your coachees ego is active
then they are probably paying too much
attention to what they want rather than what
they need. Equally one might stick to their
preferences without adapting to meet the
priorities around them.
ATTRACTION - some people argue that we
get what we wish for, the law of attraction.
Wayne Dyer goes some way to up the ante
by stating, You do not attract what you
want. You attract what you are. Either way
attraction is key.
PUTTING FUEL IN YOUR TANK
This is one of the key modules in the online course,
where I describe energy using the 5 energy sources:
soul - body - heart - mind spirit. The energy mapping
hack to follow is a great new habit for coachees
to develop, so that they can access the source and
increase energy.
As my mentor Jazz Rasool would say - its time to
get your five a day. Fruits and vegetables creating a
great metaphor for overall well-being. Simply put -
your coachee needs to engage in daily activities that
tap into all 5 energy sources. Preferably a conscious
list that increases their energy levels, vitality and
presence. Map out their day, map out their energy.
Play to their strengths at first, but watch out for blind
spots and shortcuts. 10 spaces on a map, but one
which they must populate.
To get them started ask them to consider what
tomorrow looks like for them. Now help them to plan
what they will do (or not do) for themselves under
all 5 energy sources. Something that brings energy
into their system. Their priority here is themselves.
Nothing wrong with being selfish here, if they dont
2. BODY their primordial needs relating to their
look after number one then they cant look after
others.
Their activities might of course involve others, as
long as the coachee is still the priority. On the whole
they need to be solitary. Dont worry too much about
which box the activity resides in, many activities
could be associated with all sources. As long as they
are considering the 5 sources and being deliberate in
their actions.
As a coach watch for well formed habits, this is the
old paradigm. The new paradigm requires intentional
newness. Nothing radical, just a point of difference
from previous ventures. So picking up some free
weights for the first time in a frequented gym does
count. Doing the same old routine might not. The old
paradigm is still of enormous value as it forms the
bedrock from which they can build. In with the new
and in with the old.
The aim is to achieve harmony between tasks for
themselves and tasks for others. Too much energy
in = stagnation. Too much energy out = flushing.
Coaching them to agree what they can do and what
they should avoid do or do not. Do I will leave
work on time. Do not I will not be late home. When
they are ready encourage them to map out activities
that have someone else as the priority. They might be
doing something for this person or with this person.
Support, challenge and question around each of the
5 sources
1. SOUL - this is where they feel most grounded
and centred. Relaxed and at ease. Away from
the busyness they are re-charging their batteries,
plugging in and connecting. Being with their soul
mate maybe, laughter, fun and vitality. Aware of
their own values, exploring their authentic self.
Deep presence in their current state, an egoless
state. Clarity and freedom descend as their mind
and body wanders.
physicality and environment. The roof above their
head, careers, physicality and security. Health and
wealth combining. Sporting practice or hobbying
enthusiasts engaged in skills development.
Sleeping, eating or intimate physical contact.
Wellbeing and being well. Stretching their legs.
3. HEART - tugging at their heart strings, fear which
can stop them loving. Pride in the name of love.
Esteem that has no name. Relationships, emotions,
social interactions and confidence. The bonds
they make, and those they break. Compassion,
trust and empathy. Intuition maybe.
4. MIND - the school of thought that builds their
knowledge. Allowing them to study, research,
reflect, learn, read and write. A world view,
planned, organised, intellect. Letters after their
name, analysed, assessed, certified sense. How
they you know what they know? Logic pervades.
5. SPIRIT - connections, meaning, morals and
innovation. Harmony and true self, up above or
down below. Morals and moods, defining their
attitude. A sometimes volatile extraction of their
intentions. They enter into it, a world maybe.
Belief, religion, nature, creativity, actualisation,
its sacred. Our breath.
ABOUT STUART HADEN
Stuart Haden is a facilitator, coach and
author. Valuing authenticity, coachability
and personal energy he works with
individuals, teams and organisations so
that they can develop optimal performance
and be up to 500% more effective. His
online courses are available at www.
stormbeach.co.uk

Promote Healthy
Thinking
by Taryn Harris (South Africa)
Science and Our Natural Intelligence
There are many schools of thought and supporting
research advocating the health (mental, emotional
and physical) and neurobiological benefits of positive
thinking and present moment awareness. They
include, but are in no way limited to integral theory,
ontological and positive psychology, mindfulness,
somatic experiencing, Nia, Yoga and many more! We
know all of this intuitively and are born to experience
life in this way think of children they are totally
in awe with the magic in every moment. It is our
natural intelligence and state that we know on a
cellular level.
As we grow up, we consciously and unconsciously
dull our senses, which dulls our experience of life
and living and stops us thinking innovatively. We
spend most of our time in our head thinking the same
thoughts, or reliving the past and worrying about the
future, missing out on the richness of living right
now. Our obsession with the brain being paramount
has ultimately lead to us divorcing ourselves from the
rest of our mind/body. The brain likes patterns so
you literally become what you focus on, do and think
about.
Science and research are now supporting this
intuitive inborn knowledge: that not only are thinking
and feeling/sensing inextricably linked, but also that
sensory data and present moment awareness can
open up a new way of being in the world resulting
in more joyful and effective living, thinking and
reduced stress levels! (Just by sensing our perception
and shifting it consciously)
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11 INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS
What is Healthy Thinking?
Thinking is not limited to your mind. It is inclusive
of your entire body! All parts of you are designed to
help you think learning to use your mind (which
includes your emotions and imagination) with the
five senses is defined as healthy thinking. Healthy
thinking improves behaviour, builds self-confidence,
improves communication and information processing
and leaves you feeling energetically balanced and
connected to living through your whole body.
Unhealthy thinking is the defence mechanism we use
to ignore what we are really thinking and feeling. It
leads to unhealthy (and often addictive) behaviour,
loss of self-esteem and leaves you feeling confused,
separate and energetically depleted often on a roller
coaster of emotional lows and highs.
The Nia Technique
TIPS TO DITCH UNHEALTHY THINKING:
So, how can you start consciously perceiving
with your whole body? To move to a more balanced
state in your body and mind, which allows for
clearer, healthier thinking? How do you expand your
awareness and change the way you think, do things
and live in your body and the world?
Start noticing where you put your attention.
What is your mind busy with?
What are common thoughts you have on repeat?
Do they foster confidence and serve you on any level?
Or do they keep you stuck in a self-created hell and
separate from all the yummy-ness available to you
through your senses?
What are you missing by being busy with what you
are busy with?
Is it future thinking that encourages hope and
excitement or dread and anger?
Is it a past memory that brings joy and inspiration or
shuts down your thinking?
Could you shift your attention to focus on what
colours and textures are in your awareness right now?
How your hands are warmed by the mug in your
hands and how your taste buds dance with delight
from a sip of delicious tea, which then fills your body
with warmth? Can you plug into the present moment?
Just for 10 seconds?
My invitation is for you to let go of one unhealthy
way of thinking that does not serve you. Got one in
mind? (Just one!) For the next week, every time you
notice yourself having that particular unhealthy
thought, consciously shift your attention to something
pleasurable even if it involves calling on a happy
memory or watching a child in a checkout queue.
Gently turn towards a pleasing experience that
promotes healthy thinking. This will create space
within you to let more healthy thinking in and shift
your perception to the positive that is available to
you in that moment. Notice your breathing patterns.
When you notice anxiety is present, focus on taking
3 deep focused breaths, allowing the exhalation to be
twice as long as the inhalation. Re-calibrate and allow
other perspectives into your awareness to replace the
unhealthy thought instead of resisting it beating
yourself up for unhealthy thinking is not exactly
healthy behaviour!
Invite the new, healthier way of whole body thinking
in by soft candlelight not with a massive flashlight
this will only shut down your limbic brain that is
what too much pressure does! So, coax this awareness
by gently shifting your attention and noticing and
once you have noticed, you can make a conscious
decision to either keep that thought or behaviour or
let it go the choice is yours!
ABOUT TARYN HARRIS
Taryn is a professional executive and life
coach, speaker and the creator of the In-
Body Method. Taryn moves people into
their power and organisations into their
power through people. Her programmes
focus on developing interpersonal and
leadership skills, emotional intelligence
and team functioning. Taryn will show you
how to create a life both personally and
professionally that you want to show up
for! She gives you the tools to effectively
navigate through the opportunities and
challenges and teaches you how to
positively affect your behaviour and
emotions by rewiring your mind to become
more content, resilient and confident by
tapping into the intelligence of your body.
45
 Why Personal different actions until you get the results you want.
This requires a desire to continue to do the internal
work to be the best they can be. To be able to transform
Change is and make an impact on other people, leaders must be
willing to take the actions to change themselves and
Important for a invest in their own development. Being free from their
blocks, judgement, fears and limiting beliefs is an on- THE WINNER,
Conscious Leader going process. Taking the action to be committed to
doing the work builds confidence and provides first Lady Learning and
hand stories for the leader to help others see possible
by Floyd Carlson (USA)
alternatives. Charming Mr. Bond
A great first step in driving personal change is getting by Rosana Nedelciu,
a coach. A coach will help the leader to become iCN Journalist Romania
aware of their defaults, the impact these are having
on others and assist in determining how best to
overcome the items holding the person back. The
payoff is the leader becomes an example for others of
what personal change can achieve and they become
conscious of their behaviours. This awareness allows
them to decide is this how I want to be and what I
want to be remembered for. They then are on their A winner is a man who has learnt how to position himself correctly in relation
to his past failures.
journey of becoming a conscious leader.

The shift that is driving leaders to become more
impactful is that we all desire more consciousness
and connection in our lives, and especially from our
leaders. We are yearning to feel inspired, but are often
surrounded by poor examples of leadership. We see
everything from leaders leaving a legacy of long lasting
emotional scars to many leaders being average at best
and being unmemorable. When I ask the question,
what percentage of the leaders in your career, would
you want to work for again, I get less than 27%.
The leaders that are most memorable are the ones
who care more for their peoples success than his or
her own. They check their ego at the door and wake
up every morning thinking about what they can do
today for the best of their team and people. Conscious
leading is taking consistent actions that make a positive
difference for your people, family, friends, community,
organisations, and environment, while making the
world a better place to live. A conscious leader is
everyone who makes the decision to be one, believes
in their heart they are a leader and takes the steps to
live and be an example for the world to follow. Being
a conscious leader is an on-going personal journey of
awareness of your default behaviours and the impact
they have on others.
Personal change is the critical component to drive the
transformation to being more conscious. The model
becomes aware, make changes and see if those changes
make the difference you want in your life. If not, take
ABOUT FLOYD CARLSON
Floyd is presently a business executive
serving as Director of Learning and
Organizational Development for
manufacturing company, Greenheck.
Prior to this position he spent 15 years
in Belgium working for Cisco Systems in
various operations leadership roles for
Ciscos Europe, Middle East, Africa and
Russia organization. He led a number
of cross-cultural teams in Cisco focused
on solving customers most important
business problems.
Floyd Carlson is the author of
Conscious Leadership In Action!
(Panoma Press, 2015) and can be
followed on Twitter @fwcarlson. http://
www.consciousleadershipinactionbook.
com/the-book/
I heard it the other day and simply loved it! Unlike
the usual James Bond-like depictions, this piece
of wisdom seems to give The Winner, my hero in
todays article, more reflective attributes, and not
so much action. Yes, I know, thats boring. No one
would watch a 007 film to see Mr. Craig sitting at his
desk and thinking. Sitting in his car and thinking. Or,
worse, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling all night.
And yet, the mission of a future Winner - who is now
meeting with failure - could prove as difficult as those
of charming Mr. Bond.
Position himself correctly in relation to his past
failures. It states right from the start that winners,
too, have made mistakes, they have met failures and
went through crises. Winners, too, had moments
when they questioned themselves and their abilities.
Yes, some of them even let the word looser hover
around for a little, while they were discouraged, and
just before they got back on track. Which means a
Winner now is someone who was once milled and
polished, and against his or her best intentions and
wishes. (Lets be honest, who wants that?) A Winner
is not a chosen one, but a person who did his part in
the Skill and Luck equation and had to confront the
uncontrollable, the twists and turns of life, just like
anyone else. And, unfortunately, thats usually not
done riding cool motorbikes, flying helicopters and
jumping from one high-speed train to another. Not
to mention that, in real life, when things get tough,
beautiful ladies arent so much - or so many - around.
In real life, a Winner is first and foremost a person
who has the ability to reason, and who is also not
afraid to dig deep into the heart of the matter and be
honest with himself. As such, a correct positioning
in relation to past failures tells me that those of you
who are now discouraged and feel like you have
failed, are actually future Winners, if you just:
See a mistake/ failure for what it is, and accept
it as such. Bummer, but real!
Take full responsibility for it. You have the
courage to say Me, me, me! in this situation
as well.
By being responsible, you empower yourself.
You know that only those who never do
anything are the ones who never make mistakes.
(Im thinking this should be part of a Professional
Decalogue). You, on the other hand, are on a path
of learning that will get you where you want to be.
Thats what Lady Learning does. And she loves to
win.
By accepting your mistakes, you also prove
you have the ability to recognise success, and
to tell right from wrong in your situation. Unlike those
for whom there is always someone else to blame for
things that dont work in their life. Unlike those who
steal ideas and like to take credit for someone elses
achievements. Why do you think these people do it?
Because they dont have the ability to build success
on their own, but they see it in you!

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11 INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS 47
 A correct positioning means knowing what
to do next, or the next time a similar situation
appears. That is why my hero today, The Winner, is
comfortable with thinking. Its like we were back in
university and we had to take exams. We could have
studied a lot, but unless we took time to carefully
read and understand the enunciation of the subject,
we never got an excellent grade. So focus on what
your failure tells you, and not on what you think about
yourself because of it.
Spend some time with your mistakes or failures.
Dont be so quick into freeing yourself from
them. I know this is usually done by going
straight in the opposite direction, or embracing the
mighty NO. Never. I will never do this again. Not in
this lifetime. Dont they say that if you do the same
thing twice and expect to have different results, you
are crazy? Well, not me. Im not doing that ever again!
Only to redo it, of course, and simply because
not enough time was given to read the fine print. You
never know what it tells you. Sometimes, you need to
try again, try harder. Other times, just rework on some
nuances. Maybe you need to come with a different
approach. And if you were waiting for this, yes, there
are situations when you need to go in the opposite
direction.
Dont have an all-encompassing rule for
different mistakes or failures, unless its to
treat each as a singular and unique event. There may
be teachings that apply, teachings from past mistakes,
but the enunciation of each mistake is still unique.
And, please, dont generalise! Dont make a
mountain out of a molehill. In the face of failure,
we feel frustrated and disappointed with ourselves,
and (why, oh, why?) we have the tendency to look for
other areas in our life where were also not happy or
fulfilled, or where things dont happen as we would
want them to. Dont go there. Instead, remember that
what you are going through is a natural and necessary
step for profound and long-lasting learning. Just a
step, not a permanent state. Not to mention that no
one has it all according to ones wishes. We will
48
11
always have parts of our life that we need to work on.
And sometimes it just requires a little hard work.
Returning to my all-time favourite Bond, I have
sighed quite a few times for Mr. Craig. When he was
in dangerous situations I mean. I did it even though
I knew he always prevails in the end. What is my
point? Dont get discouraged if you have failed at
something!. You know what? Even if you have done
repeatedly so. Because now you know what A Winner
does to get back on track. And placing yourself in the
company of Lady Learning (as elusive as she might
seem on a first impression) is a great first step in an
adventure that will ultimately lead you to success.
And you know what? If you ever decide to make a
film about this thinking ride of yours, count me in!
Ill be your first buying viewer!
ABOUT ROSANA NEDELCIU
The newest member of thr ICN team.
Rosana is an HR professional with 7 years of
management experience and international
exposure. Her expertise are in Executive
Search, Learning and Development,
Internal Communications and Performance
Management. Keirsey Temperament
Sorter: The Teacher. She is also the owner
and creator of TheHView coaching concept
(The Human View on Personal and Career
Development) http://thehview.com And an
author of the book called Mother is Love,
Why do You Speak of Cancer? http://www.
iubirenucancer.ro
 From Balance to Integration,
the Role of the Coach
by Cedric Lefebvre (Belgium)
Personal growth is more than a right, it is a priority. However, considering private and professional lives
as concepts between which everyone should find their own balance is not as sustainable as finding a way to
integrate them with a holistic view. In such a context, coaches have a key role to play.
While the first mention of the term workaholic dates
back to the 1940s, it wasnt until the seventies that
related terms began to be heard, such as burnout and
work-life balance.
This balance between ones professional and private
lives is still often portrayed as the manifestation
of a serene, economically stable lifestyle where
the individual is able to assign the appropriate
importance and thus, the true value to each of these
two fundamentally distinct entities: career and the
sphere of private life. The Hudson Agency designed
a typology of companies based on their wish to
encourage a harmonious balance between professional
and private life, demonstrating how employees who
are able to attain this balance in their lives in turn add
great value to their company. An illustration of this
can be found in the Gallup study that reveals how an
employees satisfaction level increases by 50% when
they have a close friendship with a colleague at work.
For several years, however, the relevance of this very
concept of balance has been thrown into question,
owing as much to socio-evolutionary reasons as to a
progressively different and more philosophical vision
of what we still call work.
For instance, let us begin simply with the way
in which more and more people are practicing,
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11 INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS
envisaging, or even dreaming of exercising their
chosen profession. We are far removed from the
poque when one could, without any hesitation,
establish an unequivocal connection with a type of
work a trade a company a workplace a career.
At present there is a progressive blurring of the line
between work and private life due primarily to the
necessity of moonlighting, less time-consuming and
more ecologically sensible home working and home
based businesses.
It is well-known that, much more than mentality, it
is new technology that is sustaining this evolution.
It annihilates distance and, one day, holograms may
even create the perfect illusion of a physical presence
in the office. Little by little, robots replace humans
(one recent study suggests that 47% of all jobs in the
United States will be threatened by this phenomenon
within the next two decades - other states that 40%
of Australian jobs are at risk of being automated
within ten to fifteen years). Relationships between
colleagues, clients and suppliers exist in a dimension
where contact is virtual and professional activity is
not linked to any specific location. And while social
network is already a welcome guest at the dinner
table as much as in the office, while companies
have their page and we like our colleagues, the self becomes accessible and lasting.
multiplication of these platforms will undoubtedly
lead to a future fusion if not replacemed by a dynamic
mega-cloud. Sustaining personal growth in such an So it is not a question of semantics. The concept
unstable environment is no longer only a right but a of integration of private and personal lives, if not
priority. a reality, is at the very least a necessity, whether it
be reactive (a concession in respect to a current
Elsewhere, beyond this evolution, there is clear professional situation) or proactive (the conception,
evidence of an inappropriate discordance between implementation or re-orientation of a career plan).
private and professional life. Wanting to establish
a balance between two worlds implies they are
exclusive and in competition with one another.
Speaking of balance leads unavoidably to the idea of
imbalance. Keeping ones balance then, becomes a
means, a tactic, rather than an end in itself. Moreover,
failing to maintain this balance, or losing it altogether
provokes evident stress, a devaluation of the self and,
potentially dysfunction, illness, frustration, burnout,
death and suicide. The Japanese actually use the term
Karoshi which means death caused by an excess of
work.
What is the role of a coach in this context? How can
a coach facilitate this transition, specifically where
the coach suggests a dichotomous structure in which
work and pleasure are perceived as conceptually
contradictory? To be precise, it is in suggesting that
the structure goes beyond an approach centred on
time-management, task-prioritisation (or delegation)
or even development of assertiveness. In effect, as
useful as the teachings gleaned from sessions on these
objectives may be, they can but reinforce a black
and white vision, deprived of any nuance. With the
clients consent, the coach will first of all initiate an
If the balance between private and professional exploration of the self, followed by awareness and
life is no longer of interest to us, what then is the finally the full expression of their raison dtre.
contemporary approach we should consider? As
emphasised by Lisa Earle McLeod and Stew
Friedman, we should not henceforth view things
from the perspective of a dichotomy; it is neither
a question of choice nor opportunity. As much as
possible, life and work should complement each other,
should be sparked by the same passion, by the same
values. Life and work should be congruous. The key
is not a tactic, then, but a holistic vision. The solution
is not, then, knowing how to prioritise, but how to
combine pleasure with raison dtre, essence and
activity, fulfilment and professional endeavour. In
this way development at work, at home, in the midst
of ones community and within ones most intimate
51

The questions available to the coach while
accompanying the client on their journey are
numerous. From the classic What is important to
you? to the more subtle What were your childhood
dreams? and to the playful What absorbs you to
the point of forgetting to eat? the coach is spoilt for
choice in helping the coachee to find what excites
them in a context involving others and to explore it
calmly.
It matters little whether this raison dtre becomes a
motto or a mood-board, but rather that the coachee
finds a method that they will make their own, that
they will take charge of and deploy in order to
join the dots - around whichever sphere they may
gravitate of the things that provide a source of
pleasure, that evoke enthusiasm, that represent
imagined and desired development. In other words,
the coach must aid the coachee to feel on an abstract
level, what their true essence is. By embedding
this feeling in advancement and action, the coach
will enable the client to observe their own actions
and points through a prism to which only they have
access. The coach thus invites the client to calibrate
the tool, intensifying the most useful aspects while
moderating or ceasing the rest where possible,
guiding them to calmly accept that which they cannot
or will not throw away, becoming conscious of the
tiniest contribution towards self-realisation.
For the coachee, it is not about resignation or
capitulation but, acceptance, progress and self-
development.
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11 INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS
ABOUT CEDRIC LEFEBVRE
Business and Career Coach, Cedric
Lefebvre has a proven track record
delivering a range of complex projects
covering business and leadership
development. He approaches coaching
with 25 years experience within leading
international organisations as an
executive, a team leader and also an
independent consultant. Today he
supports companies and individuals
growth and flourishing, aligned with their
own values and mission.
Cedric is a registered psychologist,
graduated from Universit Libre de
Bruxelles, specialised in applied
psychology. He is also a photographer
whose works have been featured,
exhibited and published internationally.
He is based in Brussels, Belgium and
coaches internationally.
www.insightandcoaching.com/
Why a
COACH?
by Gary R.Gasaway
(USA)
Its About Emotional Connection
I believe there is one thing in life that only those
special possess that is the true emotional connection
with others.
Its touching other peoples lives. That touch is a
powerful one that is through a shared connection of
trust, openness, encouragement, mutual respect, and
caring. When you touch other peoples lives, your
connection goes deep into their hearts and becomes a
part of them thus a part of you.
The impacts can change others to believe in
themselves and others; have hope, share love, and
put extra efforts into overcoming difficulties. Truly
emotionally connecting to others is the understanding
that we need each other.
We all have the opportunity to encourage someone
who is discouraged, to share an experience with
someone in helping them understand their own
situation, and to inspire others when theyre down
about some kind of mistake or personal conflict. The
awesome reality is that when you give away this type
of emotional support, it will most often come back to
you ... through the emotional connection with others.
It is through these experiences of looking within and
the touching of another that creates no other closer
feeling of emotional connection.
The emotional connection is the focus of coaching.
Through my coaching, both the client and I develop
a co-creative relationship. We work together to find
solutions to whatever difficulties they are facing.
Its truly inspiring the client to transform unwanted
conflict to achieve positive solutions.
ABOUT GARY R. GASAWAY
Gary believes that the relationship
between a coach and client is co-
creative, meaning that his clients and he
are equals and both have an active role.
Gary considers himself not a therapist,
counsellor or consultant. He is trained
and a certified professional coach using
honed communication skills to support
clients as a detached thinking partner.
Together, they create synergy to result
in meaningful change and take dynamic
actions towards the clients goals.
As a retired manager from Southern
California Edison, he used his natural
talent for coaching and became a
corporate coach. During over his 31
years with the company, he designed
and developed several coaching courses
and workshops that he facilitated to
hundreds of supervisors and managers
throughout the company. He also
authored weekly coaching articles: The
Coachs Notes that were distributed
throughout the company. He is currently
in the final stages of writing his first book:
The Coachs Chronicles: a Journey
through Lifes Trials and Triumphs.
INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS 53
 From Confusion to Clarity Innerpreneurs (also called Cultural Creatives) have
traits that are very compatible with the concepts
But Innerpreneurs are characteristically different, as
they start businesses as vehicles to aid in their own

Through Transpersonal behind Transpersonal Life Coaching. These defining

entrepreneurial traits are:
personal growth rather than that of a companys.
They start their businesses so they can find personal

Life Coaching High need for independence

by Jean Gilhead (Spain)
High need for achievement
Low need for conformity
High need to take personal responsibility
Propensity for risk-taking
Passion for spotting opportunities
Passion for expressing their ideas
fulfilment and satisfaction through their work. They
are driven by their need to realise their full potential, to
make a difference and to constantly learn and evolve.
Basically, they desire to use business to improve the
world and themselves. Transpersonal Life Coaching
helps them find their path and sets them confidently
on their way.

As most Life Coaches know, when a client says, I dont really know what I want in lifeI just want to be
happy, we can feel stumped. Traditional Life Coaching can only, by its very nature, help someone reach a
clearly definable and measurable goal and being happy is neither of those. So what can the coach do?
Try to discover, through deep questioning, what is missing in the clients life, what would make them bounce
out of bed with joy each morning, what is it they cannot get through the day without dreaming about. With
Transpersonal Life Coaching, this dilemma is tackled from many angles.

Transpersonal can be said to be another word for
holistic which, in essence, means to address the whole
person from all three perspectives: mind, body and
spirit. Transpersonal Life Coaching helps to guide
and develop the psychological, physiological and
spiritual aspects of peoples lives to enable them to
work through their blocks, to thereby achieve success
and accomplish their desired results in spite of their
issues.
In the first coaching session, clients will often
struggle to express their deepest desires, perhaps after
a lifetime of suppressing them. But, after having had
explained how the many tools in the Transpersonal
Coaching Toolbox work to help them, they can and do
go forward to achieve everything they want, having
been inspired and empowered to find and live their
passion in a context of love and joy and an absence
of fear.
their spiritual integrity. They will discover how to
grow, thrive and bring some magic back into their
lives, while actively nourishing their spiritual selves. ABOUT JEAN GILHEAD
Clients are often surprised how quickly
Heart-based entrepreneurs respond well to & easily they move through their issues
Transpersonal Life Coaching; these business people & challenges once they start coaching
are often called Innerpreneurs within the marketing with Jean. As an Intuitive & an Empath,
profession. An Innerpreneur will use their business she has developed the ability to work
to find personal fulfilment creatively, spiritually, deeply & connectedly with individuals &
groups, encouraging & motivating them
emotionally and create social change. to bring out the best in themselves.
Her strengths are communication
of all forms & at all levels; the ability
to instigate & promote an idea or
concept & inspire others; versatility &
adaptability; high creative energy; an
analytical & enquiring mind & an ability
to work on her own initiative or as part
of a team.
www.jeangilhead.com

First and foremost, Transpersonal Life Coaching is for

anyone who wants more out of life while maintaining

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11 INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS 55
 Do You See
What They See?
(Part 1)
by Reginald Jackson (USA)
Everyone looks at things in different ways. Where
we come from, what we have been taught, etc. can
have an effect on how we form opinions. The position
we take can be considered a frame of reference, or
context. Our context is the lens through which we see
the world. This is typically based on three elements:
Exposure
Experience
Expectation
These three elements also represent moments in
time. Simply put, they are our past, our present,
and our future. Looking at each of these elements
independently may provide an objective perspective
that helps us to better understand how we actually see
the world. More importantly, this understanding can
allow us to also better understand how the world sees
us!
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11 INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS
Exposure is the first element; the story of our life
as we remember it. We form opinions about all the
events we have witnessed or been a part of and
relate to our past through the feelings and emotions
associated with those events. Positive, negative, or
otherwise, it becomes our reality. In this way, we
are products of our environment. Although some
would argue, subconsciously or intentionally, we are
somewhat shaped by our past. The relationships we
have with our friends and family also contribute to
the collection of memories we carry. Some more than
others!
The second element consists of our experiences.
They are shaped by the events that take place every
day. Moment by moment, life takes place. And as it
does, we are constantly collecting data and storing
memories. Oddly enough, those memories may
determine how we respond to certain events or issues.
More times than not, those responses are automatic
and dont require much thought at all. In addition
to the responses, we also have feelings, emotions,
and body sensations. Therein lays the recipe for an
experience.
Finally, the expectation is best described as the
anticipation of a future outcome. Although the future is
unknown, we tend to forecast certain events. Oddly
enough, exposure and experience(s) may influence
how we envision the future as it will be or (even
better) should be. With this in mind, disappointment
is often where expectation and reality meet. Of course,
expectation isnt categorically unpleasant. Expectation
can also be a source of joy and excitement. The
combination between the two is our context which
leads to the essence of this discussion.
Imagine your every action is a display, or evidence of
your context. In other words, the way we see the world
is the way others see us. This leads to the question; do
you see what they see? If you had the ability to watch
yourself as others do, would you be surprised, amused,
disappointed, etc.? We are spectators of everyones life
but our own. It is virtually impossible to assess how you
act or react in the moment. Taking a slightly different
approach will allow you to gain another vantage point.
Being acutely aware of how exposure, experience, and
expectation dictate your daily interactions will cause
you to be better equipped and less likely to fall victim
to lifes ups and downs.
If this has aroused your curiosity and youd like
to learn more about shifting your context to one of
empowerment and decisiveness, stay tuned for Part 2.
ABOUT REGINALD JACKSON
As a Personal and Business Coach,
he works with individuals, as well
as groups, inspiring them to move
outside their comfort zone and realize
their greatness. His journey up to this
point is interesting and quite diverse.
Having served in the Marine Corps
for more than twenty years, he offers
a unique blend of leadership, wisdom,
and compassion. Over the span of
his career, he trained, counseled, and
mentored hundreds of Marines. It
was during that time he developed the
insight and awareness that makes him
such a powerful Coach. Since retiring
from the Corps in 2007, he has held
leadership positions in the IT industry,
to include consulting and project
management. Working with others and
seeing the light come on is especially
rewarding.
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 Life Coaching indeed, a
unique journey of Equals
by Namita Sinha (India)

In my quest for continuous improvement in my professional practice, trying to better myself on the principles
and skills widely accepted to be the arsenal of a Life Coach, I realised that once we start coaching more and
more people, we may get to see a common pattern evolving and helping us understand and assist people with
their situations and journeys, yet it is so important to also acknowledge at the same time that every individual
is unique with his or her unique context, and at no point should we rush to categorise or classify a person as
per our professional experience .

We rather be prepared to risk a bit of failure and be
confronted with some surprise element or a What
next.. , at some junction rather than allowing our
subconscious to fit every living being and his situation
into the frame of some or the other past learning of
ours.
To be a successful Coach, there exists a dire need
to genuinely keep ourselves open to exploring a new
life and a new mindset every day, and add to our
own learning experience first , rather than feeling
victorious that Oh, I managed to figure my Client
and trace him to that oft repeated concept of Coaching
that I have tested for so many
Not to be judgmental at all, in the truest spirit would
mean totally disconnecting ourselves first from our
own past and present ,and delve into the clients
world as if discovering a totally new space each time..
Indeed thats one of the reasons why we prefer
Coaching to be separate from Counselling or any
Therapy or Consulting, it is definitely a journey
of Equals , and theres lot more of Compassionate
Listening and Absorbing from the part of the Coach
rather than talking , suggesting or advising, and
rightfully its a process of supporting and helping the
client himself find his unique solution!
ABOUT NAMITA SINHA
A Banker and Marketer by educational
qualification, after 12 years of full
time corporate assignments at Senior
Managerial levels with Multi National
Firms, NamitaI recently embarked on
an exploring phase in her career, to
discover her true callinglife -coaching
,training ,writing and blogging.
She is keen to support and empower
people, through her Coaching Practice
and look forward to sharing hr insights
especially with young minds on socially
relevant themes and topics through
her writing and blogging. Aspiring to
become a thriving Coach and Trainer
in personal, academic and executive
space, Namita likes researching ideas
which actually integrates and aligns
the personal and professional domain.
Thus she is a strong advocate of Work-
Life integration rather than work life
balance.

INTERNATIONAL COACHING NEWS 59

 Professionalism in Personal Coaching
The International Regulator of Coaching and Mentoring (IRCM www.IRCM-register.org) is an organisation
which provides transparency to the Coaching and Mentoring industries and has the remit to protect the buying
public the clients and the students.
The IIC&M is the first Accreditation Body to become
APPROVED by the IRCM. By being approved by
the IRCM and going through their approval process,
the IIC&M is agreeing to work with them to ensure
that the whole industry lives up to the Standards and
Ethics of the Coaching and Mentoring industries.
The IIC&M accredits training organisations, courses,
workshops, coaches and mentors ensure that those
providing the service have the knowledge and
experience to do the job they say that they are doing.
In this way we have agreed to work together to create
excellence in the coaching and mentoring industries.
Coaching and Mentoring each have their own unique
set of skills. As neither industry is formally regulated,
there are many individuals and organisations
representing themselves as coaches, mentors, or
coaching/mentoring training organisations; where
some of these are individuals without any formal
coach-specific or mentor-specific training. In some
cases they will be transferring their skills from
other professions into their Coaching or Mentoring.
Coaches and Mentors often have to unlearn old
skills from their previous professions before they
can competently learn the skills required for to be
an effective coach or mentor. Therefore, selecting
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2. What specific coaching/mentoring experience
to work with a coach or mentor who has no formal
coach or mentor training, may result in an inadequate
or ineffective coaching or mentoring experience for
you.
So if you are considering hiring a coach or mentor,
the IIC&M can provide you with both the guidance
on how to hire a coach or mentor, and a Directory
of Professional and Accredited Coaches and
Mentors. Deciding whether a coach or mentor is
competent cannot be defined by the fees that they
charge or by non-coach/mentor specific training. It
is important that you select the right Coach/Mentor
for you and/or your organisation. The end result will
depend upon it.
You are selecting someone who is going to help you
make the changes to your life that you desire to
make. The Coach or Mentor you select will hold you
accountable for reaching the desired results. Every
client is different and not every Coach or Mentor can
work with every client, therefore making an informed
choice by considering these questions before making
your final decision will ensure that you hire the right
person for you:
1. How clear are you about the type of person you
want to work with? Do you want a coach or a
mentor or someone who can provide both skills?
Do you know the difference in the skills?
does the Coach/Mentor have?
3. What specific coach/mentor training does the
Coach/Mentor have?
4. Has the Coach/Mentor provided independent
verification of their coach/mentor training and
experience?
Each IIC&M Professional and Accredited Coach/
Mentor is required to provide the IIC&M with full
details of their coach/mentor-specific training to gain
their professional and accredited status. Therefore,
selecting an IIC&M Professional and Accredited
Coach or Mentor confirms that this person has the
right level of training and experience as demonstrated
by their Professional or Accredited Award.
5. If you are looking for a Coach, although type
of experience / background is not applicable to
coaching, do you want your Coach to have?
6. If you are looking for Mentor, what niche market
practical experience do you want your Mentor to
have?
7. If you are looking for Mentor, what qualification,
training, and practical experience do you want
your Mentor to have?
8. What coaching or mentoring experience is a pre-
requisite to understanding the complexity of your
scenario?
9. What style of coaching/mentoring are you looking
for?
10. Has the Coach/Mentor satisfactorily provided
details of their experience?
Each IIC&M Professional and Accredited Coach/
Mentor is required to provide the IIC&M with full
details of their coach/mentor-specific training and
experience to gain their professional and accredited
status. Therefore, selecting an IIC&M Professional
and Accredited Coach or Mentor confirms that this
person has the right level of training and experience
as demonstrated by their Professional or Accredited
Award.
11. Is the Coach/Mentor transparent about their
coaching/mentoring?
12. What references, testimonials, or feedback does
the Coach provide?
You should be able to see this information on the
IIC&Ms Directory of Professional and Accredited
Coaches/Mentors, or contact your selected Coach/
Mentor for more information.
13. Does the Coach/Mentor understand the brief and
the boundaries of what you are searching for?
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 14. How clear are you about the differences between 17. What is your anticipated length of commitment
Coaching, Mentoring, and Training? Which for this coaching/mentoring relationship?
meets your exact needs? 18. What procedures does the Coach/Mentor have
in place to formalise the coaching/mentoring
Click the Issue 12 link below to understand the relationship?
differences between Coaching and Mentoring.
19. What format of coaching/mentoring are you
Click the Issue 12 link below to read the definition of looking for?
Coaching, Mentoring, Training and other therapies.
Face-2-Face Telephone Internet Email
15. Does the Coach/Mentor belong to an Accreditation, Individual Group Team
Professional or Trade Coaching and/or Mentoring
Body? 20. Does the Coach/Mentor provide an introductory
session that allows you to know whether you
If your selected Coach/Mentor is on the IIC&Ms could effectively communicate with this Coach/
Directory of Professional and Accredited Coaches/ Mentor?
Mentors then they do belong to a an Accreditation
Coaching and Mentoring Body. If they do not
appear in the IIC&Ms Directory of Professional and To ensure a positive outcome, it is important that you
Accredited Coaches or Mentors, are they found on the and your Coach or Mentor are a good fit, that you
IRCMs Register? If not, what other Accreditation, feel motivated, and are comfortable being challenged
Professional, or Trade Coaching/Mentoring Body by them. Therefore, we suggest that you interview a
do they belong to? What do they have to do for number of Coaches or Mentors.
this other Accreditation, Professional, or Trade
Coaching/Mentoring Body to demonstrate their IIC&M
professionalism? The IIC&M is an officially approved
International Accreditation Body
16. Does the Coach/Mentor have Professional for Coaches, Mentors, Training
Indemnity Insurance? Organisations and Clients
creating excellence in the coaching and
Although in some countries Professional Indemnity mentoring professions
Insurance is not mandatory, the IIC&M recommends www.IICandM.org
that each Coach/Mentor has Professional Indemnity www.IICandM.org/ICNissue12
Insurance. info@IICandM.org

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