Money Madness: The Psychology Of Saving, Spending, Loving, And Hating Money.

- Herb Goldberg and Rober t. Lewis

PAPER BACK
- Money Madness explains the mad and crazy things that people do with and for money
and the underlying reasons for such behavior.
- As the authors say, while we live in an age of increasing self-awareness, many
emotionally amancipated people are stuck in self-defeating money traps. They engage
in hidden money manipulations and are preoccupied with secret money obsessions that
motivate much of their behavior.
- The aim of Money Madess is to unravel the psychologial threads that entangle most
of us in one form or another of money madness. "More than anything" say the author
"we feel that it is time to examine the psychology of money behavior and to explore
the self-destructive pattern, magical notions, and unrealistic fantasies that
surround nd generate people's money attitude. To the extent that people can
disentangle themselves from their irrational involvement with money and deal with
it apppropriately, they will be able to experience life in a more satisfying and
spontaneous manner."
- Money is an important matter to most people, whether they have it or not. Money
Madness has a great deal to say to those who worshiip money and to those who loathe
it as well as to all those in between.

PREFACE
- We live in an age of increasing self-awareness, a time when many are striving for
honesty in emotions, desiring personal growth, and seeking to realize the maximum
of human potential. People today are more willing than ever to get in touch with
and express their anger, to experience their sexuality guiltlessl, and to assert
themselves in positive, self-caing ways. Yet many of these same emotionally
emancipated people are stuck in self-defeating money traps. They engage in hidden
obsessions that motivate much of their behavior. The way they deal with money
seems incongrous with their otherwise liberated, humanistic lifestyle. For
example, a man whose parents were both well-known psyhiatrists relates that when he
was a child, his parents talked freely in front of him about sex and agression but
went into the bedroom and closed the door when they discuss money.
- Unraveling the psychological threads that entangle most of us in one form or
another of money madness is the aim of this book. More than anything, we feel that
it is time to examine the psychology of money behavior and to explore the self-
destructive patterns, magical notions, and unrealistic fantasies that surround and
generate people's money attitudes. To the extent that people can disentangle
themselves from their irrational involvement with money and deal with it
appropriately, they will be able to experience life in a more satisfying and
spontaneous manner. As a contribution towards that goal, we undertook the writing
of this book.
- Herb Goldberg
- Robert T. Lewis
- Los Angles, California
- Feberuary 1, 1978

INTRODUCTION - MONEY MADNESS

- "If "it's a mad world. Mad as Bedlam," as Charles Dickens wrote, at least part
of that madness has to do with money.
- There is probably nothing that someone won't do for money. The German lyric peot
Heinrich Heine claimed, "Money is the god of our time." And dramatist Sopholes
observed, "For money you would sell your soul." Even George Bernard Shaw call it
the "most important thing in the world."
- Money destroys friendships, marriages, and family unity. Money, which in itself
has essentially no value, exert more power over human lives tha any other single
commodity. It bring out the best and the worst in people. An elderly woman is
mugged and beaten by two youths for less than a dollar, while across town a couple
on unemployment take in a runaway teenager and feed him because he has even less
than they do.
- A priest in St. Louis turned out counterfeit money on a press he installed in his
rectory.
- A firm in California converts new adillacs into pickup trucks for customers who
are willing to pay $18,000 to $24,000 for a truck in which they will never haul
anything.
- At least a dozen Michigan store owners cash bogus checks of over a hundred
dollars each, which were made out to I. M. Slick and signed U. R. Stuck.
- A few years ago, the Boy Scouts of America, an organization which has practically
become synonymous with honesty, found that some of its staff were padding their
membership rolls with nonexistent boys in order to recieved more federal funds.
- The strange illogical things that people do with or for money fill the newspaers
and bring a smile to the lips of millions of readers, whose money behavior is
almost as strange. In the United State, for example, it is estiimated that there
are approximately eight million compulsive gamblers, men and women whose primary
purpose in life is to bet money. To them, gambling isi more important than their
families or thier careers. They will often steal money or cause their children to
go hungry in order to get money to make another bet. One compulsive gambler
confesed in a meeting of Gamblers Anonymous that, although he had no regular
employent or income, he had lost as muh as thirty thousand dollars in a single
week. He had been in jail on more than one ocasion for swindling in order to get
enough money to pay his losses at the track. Yet he was unable to control his
compulsion or learn from his mistakes.
- On the other side are the millions of compulsive savers, who are compelled to
save money with the same vengence that compulsive gamblers are driven to be it. In
the same class are the millions of bargain hunters, who drive miles out of their
way to save two cents on a gallon of gasoline, or who buy potato peelers by the
dozen because they were on sale at half price, or who haunt swap meets and garage
sles buying anything that is cheap even though they have no use for it. Today,
Overspenders Anonymous has been added to Gamblers Anonymous in an attemptto help
people break their compulsive money habit.
- Billions of dollars change hands every year because dishonest salemen appeal to
the greed and gullibility of millions of people who eagerlly hand over their money
in the hope of "turning an easy buck."
- Approximately ninety percent of all crime is committed for money. Robbery,
forgery, embezzlement, and kidnapping are money motivated. Even murder is
sometimes done for a price. Organized crimes is one of the largest industries in
the United States, netting billions of dollars a year. Free-lance crime adds
billions more. Americans are probably as moral as anyone, yet few would dispute the
adage that "Everyone has his price." Morality is frequently bought off with money.
- Money is a necesary commodity for survival in the modern world. Its uses are
many and its role in business and society is well established. But it seems to
bring out the irrational in people. It taps the deepest layers of the personality
and triggers emotions such as greed and envy, love and security. The desire to
obtain enough money to achieve one's desired standard of living is in the realm of
realistic behavior. The desire to accumulate extreme wealth is irrational. Beyond
a certain point, added wealth cannot increase opulence of one's style of living or
increase one's happiness. Yet the dream of having millions is common to most
American.
- Howard Hughes made more than a billion dollars in his lifetime and J. Paul Getty
made several billion. This was much more than either could possible spend. I one
spend a thousand dollars an hour, twenty four hours a day, three hundred and sixty-
five days a year, it would take over a hundred years to get rid of a billion
dollars. What is the drive that made them continue to pursue money when they
already had more than they could ever count, let alone spend? Surely not
happiness, since both of the apparently became more and more unhappy as their
wealth increased.
- In his earlier years, Howard Huges was considered a typical rich playboy, with a
passion for parties and beautiful women. As he grew older and shrewder and turned
his inherentance into a vast fortune, he underwent a transformation. He became
more aloof and suspicious, and it would seem that his wealth created an ever-
increasing barrier between himself and othe people. In his last years he lived in
seclusion and for years very few people knew whether he was dead or alive. In
spite of his wealth and influence, he turn more and more inward, becoming a recluse
whose life was devoted to avoiding germs and people.
- To most people, perhaps, the lure of money seems to be a natural phenomenon.
"Everyone wants money" is a common belief. The rumor of a new gold rush will cause
people to scurry to the far corner of the earth and endure untold hardships. Most
would agree the sacrifice is worth it. They have become so indoctrinated with the
idea that having money is important, that they no longer question why. They are
unaware that perhaps what they are truly seeking is an increase in self-respect, or
security, or freedom, or love, or power. While they may not be aware of what it is
they truly want from life, they feel sure that money will provide it for them.

CHAPTER 1 - ASSORTED MONEY GAMES, GAMBITS, PLOYS AND PASTIMES

- At 6:55 on a Monday morning Richard Bennett arrived at the breakfast table.
"Marsha," he said curtly, "with the price of bacon what it is, don't you think two
slices apiece would be enough? And fresh orange juice this time of the year? That
must cost a small fortune!"
- While sipping his juice, he turned to the financial page of the morning paper.
"Hmmm," he observed half aloud, "the price of gold went up fifty cent an ounce."
- "Speaking of gold," his wife interrupted, "I saw this lovely gold bracelet
yesterday at Bronson's. It has a wide band with--"
- "Marsha, if there is one thing in this world you don't need, it's another gold
bracelet!"
- "I know, darling, but it would really be perfect with my new black dress."
- "My God! Not another dress?"
- "But Richard, I only bought it because I thought you would like me to wear
something special when we go out with Jim and Lisa Saturday night."
- "I forgot we were going out with them Saturday night! Why can't we ever just
stay home and watch television like other people? What is it this time, and how
much is it going to cost me?"
- "You remember, darling," Marsha answered, trying to sound annoyed. "We're going
out to dinner and then to the opening of that new play we talked about. It won't
be all that expensive, and it will be a lot of fun. Actually, we haven't been out
in ages."
- "Not expensive? Everything you do is expensive! You act as if I'm the U. S.
Treasury."
- "You're just not any fun anymore, Richard!" she said, on the verge of crying. "I
don't know what's happening with you. All you ever do is complain about money!"
- "And all you ever do is spend it!" he shouted.
- The dialogue at the Bennett's breakfast table had been going on, with minor
variations, for almost twenty-five year. No matter how trivial or how extravagant
a purchase his wife made, Richard automatially reacted in anger. It was as if
every dollar she spent was robbing him of some inner sense of well-being and
security. Ironically, before they were married, he was attracted to Marsha largely
because of her easy, carefree attitude towards life. As was not the case with him,
money seemed to be unimportant to her except as a means of enjoyment. Soon after
they were married, however, her casual disregard for money became an irritation
rather than a fascination. As his earning continued to increase, so did his
annoyance.
- On the other hand, Marsha initially had been attracted to Richard because he
appeared so responsible and his financial stability was a welcome balance to her
own impulsive and irresponsible handling of money. Later, she began to see him as
"tight" rather than conservative. She resented his inability to loosen up and
enjoy what money could buy. To her it seemed he was interested only in hoarding it
in the bank and that he measured everything in terms of its cost.
- To Richard, money in the bank meant security, while spending it unnecessarily
made him feel anxious and vulnerable. Marsha liked to spend money because it made
her feel fufilled and free, as though she were sharing her abundance with the
world. While Richard and Marsha fouight about money almost continuous, neither
really understood how the other felt about it.
- As Richard arrived at work and pulled into the company parking lot at exactly
7:25 A. M., he waved to the night security man, who was driving out. "I just don't
understand people like that," Richard muttered to himself. "How can he drive a new
Lincoln on the salary I pay him? And with a wife and two children! Such
irresponsibility!"
- At the same time, the night security man was thinking, "I just don't understand
people like that. With all his money and driving a cheap compact car! How tight
can you get? No wonder he's rich!"
- Later that morning, Richard made a point talking to his office manager, Harvey
Willenski, aside for a chat during the coffee break.
- "Harvey," he said, "if you have a minute, why don't you bring your coffee into my
office? I'd like to talk to you."
- "Of course, Mr. Bennett. I'll be right in."
- "Please call me Richard. You don't have to be formal with me," he replied in a
warm tone of voice as he closed the office door behind them. "I've been meaning to
tell you what a really fine job you've been doing, Harvey. It's awfully hard to
get good workers these days, as you well know. And with business as ough as it's
been, it's nice to know that some departments are running efficiently. Please tell
the new typist that I haven't forgotten about her and that we'll get her a new
electric typewriter as soon as possible. But I'm afraid we'll have to get along
with the old copying machine for a little longer. You know we lost that Takayama
order we thought we had in the bag, and things wil be a little tight around here
for a while. But if we all work together, I'm sure we'll ake it and not have to
let anyone go."
- "I didn't know things were that bad," replied Harvey in a concerned tone.
"That's strange," he thought to himself. "I'm sure the latest audit showed a big
jump in profits."
- "It's just temporary, I'm sure," Richard continued. "If we all pitch in and cut
the fat, it will turn out okay. Thanks, Harvey. It's always good to talk to you."
- As the owner of small manufacturing plant, Richard Bennett tried to maintain an
informal, friendly relationship with his employees. Although it didn't come
naturally, he had worked at being the warm and friendly employer for so many years
that it was almost automatic. In a management training workshop years ago, he had
been taught that many employees would rather have a friendly relationship with the
boss than a raise in salary. That appealed to him. He also learned from
observation that contented employees had fewer absenes and turned out more work.
- While Richard's behavior was partly contrived and his motivation at least partly
conscious, Harvey, like many employees, was lured into a pseudo-friendship for
primarily unconscious reasons. His need for recognition and the ego satisfaction
he recieved from being made to feel on an equal plane with is employer was
apparently sufficient to compensate for working for less money. The trade-off was
friendship instead of money. Harvey would feel disloyal in asking for a "friend"
for a raise. Also, when the boss "confides" in him about the financial
difficulties of the business, it makes asking for a raise even more difficult. In
the end, Harvey is likely to wind up sharing his boss's problems rather than the
boss's money.
- Just before lunch, Richard's twenty-year-old daughter, Honey, stopped by his
office to see him. He immediately became defensive when he saw that particular
lookk in her eye which meant she wanted something from him.
- "Hi, Daddy!" she greeted him warmly. "I know you're super busy and I hate to
bother you like this, but I do need you advice."
- She then proceeded to tell him the following:
- 1. The service manager at the auto agency warned her that her car was unsafe to
drive and that she might have an accident if she continue to drive it.
- 2. The price of a new car was prohibitive, and she couldn't affort one on her
salary.
- 3. She wouldn't really feel right about asking him to buy er a new one, although
she knew he would because he was so "generous."
- 4. The service manager conceded that a new transmission and relining the brakes
would keep her old car going for another year or so.
- 5. The service department happened to have a special on transmissions for the
next two days and she could save twenty percent, but she didn't have enough money
to pay for the repairs.
- 6. What did he think?
- By the time she had finished, Richard was so relieved that she was not asking him
to buy her a new car, that he readily agreed to pay for having her old one fixed.
- Honey knew that she had a special relationship with her father and that he had
trouble denying her anything. Unlike her mother, she learned early in life that it
made him feel important to be consulted on financial matters and he was less
reluctant to spend money if he felt it was his decision. She also knew that he had
trouble passing up a bargain. Therefore, any request for money would be most
likely to succeed if it incorporated all these elements. For her part, it was less
a conscious manipulation than a habitual way of relating to him. As for Richard,
no matter how often he resolved to resist giving in to her bid for money, he
usually would up agreeing with her good "judgment" and paying the bill. Despite
the intensity of his anxiety about spending money, his need for his daughter's
approval and admiration was stonger.
- After she left her father's office, Honey met Daryl, her current boy friend, for
lunch. Since she had invited him, she intended to pay. All through lunch,
however, she was uncomfortable since she didn't know who he would react and she
hadn't been able to discuss it with him ahead of time. Talking about money seemed
like a tacky thing to do They had gone together a short time and she didn't know
him very well. He had paid for the other dates, and she was somewhat concerned
about it. Although it was comfortable for her to slip into a dependent role with
men as she did with her father, she was also trying to become more liberated and
autonomous and to see male-female relationship as equal.
- Whe lunch was finished, the waitress placed the check in front of Daryl, but
Honey quickly reached over and took it. A surprised look came over Daryl's face
and he started to protest, but she laughed a little uneasily and said, "No, I
really want to. I invited you and I'd feel better if I paid."
- No more was said, but all afternoon Honey was concerned about whether Daryl was
offended and whether this would mess up their relationship. Would it threaten his
masculinity? Or was he happy? Maybe he'd respect her more. She was equally
confused about how she really felt about paying her share of the expenses on dates.
Partly she resented being dependent on a man, but partly she liked it. Did she
really feel guilty when a date paid all the expenses? Did she feel more
independent when she paid half> She couldn't decide.
- When Daryl left Honey that afternoon he was asking himself similar questions.
"On what I make as a graduate assistant at the university, it's kind of nice to
have someone share expenses on a date, but I don't feel quite right about it. I
really like Honey even though I have a hard time figuring her out. But then I
never did understand women very well.
- Which reminds me, today is Mom's birthday. I know she said, "Don't buy me a
present. There's nothing I want and I wish you wouldn't spend you money. Just
come over for dinner. That's enough for me." But does no mean no or does no mean
yes? With my mother I'm never sure. If I buy her a present she will be mad
because she told me not to, or if I don't will she be mad because that means I
don't love her?"
-