Introducing NLP

The Keys To Success

Manual and Transcript

Transformations International Consulting & Training Ltd, 2011

New Zealand Free phone/fax 0800-FOR-NLP (0800-367-657)
E-mail learn@transformations.net.nz
Home Page http://www.transformations.net.nz
PO Box 35111, Browns Bay, New Zealand

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 Contents

2 NLP is...
3 Presuppositions of NLP
4 5 Keys To Success
5 An NLP Model Of Communication
6 Wellformedness Conditions For Outcomes (SPECIFY)
7 Sensory Acuity (Calibration)
8 Sensory Acuity Exercises
9 Rapport Exercises
10 Mirroring
11 Dimensions of Rapport
12 Building Rapport: Options
13 Eye Accessing Cues
14 Anchoring
15 Setting A Resource Anchor
16 Love Strategies
17 Predicates Sorted By Sensory System
18 Some keys to Learning
19 Research on Neuro Linguistic Programming
30 Inner Smile

Successful completion of the Keys to Success Training, run by a Certified NLP Trainer entitles you to a discounted enrolment in the NLP
Practitioner certification course, with the developers of this seminar, Transformations International Consulting & Training Ltd. Your training
will cover the above material and be at least 12 hours in length.

Transformations International Consulting & Training Ltd, 2011

New Zealand Free phone/fax 0800-FOR-NLP (0800-367-657)
E-mail learn@transformations.net.nz
Home Page http://www.transformations.net.nz
PO Box 35111, Browns Bay, New Zealand

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 NLP is...

1. An attitude (of curiosity and experimentation)

2. A method (of Modelling)

3. A collection of Techniques developed by Modelling

Neuro

Linguistic a)
b)
c)
d)
e)
f)

Programming

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 Presuppositions of NLP
The effective use of NLP is based on two assumptions:

1. The Map is Not The Territory

Each person has their own map of the world.

No map is more real than any other.
Whatever you intended, the important thing to understand about your
communication is what response it gets from the other person, due to their
map of the world.
Resistance is only a lack of rapport with another persons map.
Maps which have more choices are more useful.
People make the best choices available within their maps of the world.
People have all the resources they need to succeed.
Change is a result of enriching a persons maps so they can have more
choices and use more of their own resources.

2. Life and Mind Are Systems

The processes inside a person, and between a person and their
environment, are systemic (linked together in one system).
Mind and body are one system.
All changes can only be evaluated in terms of the ecology of the whole
system.
All results (whether what you wanted or not) are feedback for the
system.
Behaviours give the most useful information about a system.
A system (eg a person) is more than the systems behaviours.
All behaviours have an original intention appropriate for the system at
that time.
There is an optimal level of flexibility for any particular system. The
subsystem with the most flexibility controls the system.

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 The Five Keys To Success.

1. Know your outcome (Page 6).

2. Take action.

3. Have sensory acuity to notice your results (Page 7).

4. Have behavioural flexibility to adjust what you do

next, based on those results (Page 9).

5. Operate from a Physiology & Psychology of

Excellence (Page 14).

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 An NLP Model Of Communication

Filt
ers Int
External Event Delete, distort and ern
generalise al
information Representations
Language
Memories
Values
Beliefs
Metaprogr State

Physiology

Behaviour

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 Setting A Well-formed Outcome (SPECIFY)
1. Sensory Specific
(a) What date do you intend to have this outcome by?
(b) Put yourself in the situation of having it. Step into your body at that time.
What do you see, what do you hear, what do you feel when you have it?

2. Positive Language
This question need only be asked if the person says I DONT want or I
want it NOT to be like at any time. In that case, ask: If you dont have that
[ie the thing they dont want], what is it that you will have instead?

3. Ecological
(a) What will you gain if you have this outcome? What will you lose if you
have this outcome? (If there are things they will lose and which they would
regret losing, ask How can you create new ways to get what is important to
you AND reach this goal?)
(b) What situations do you want this outcome in? Are there any situations do
you not want it to affect?

4. Choice Increases
How can this outcome increase your life choices?

5. Initiated By Self
What do you personally need to do to achieve this?

6. First Step Identified

What is a first small step which you could take in the next 24 hours?

7. Your Resources Identified

In your first practice of SPECIFYing an outcome, do not use this question. We
will learn more about this tomorrow. What resources do you have to achieve
this outcome? (This includes external resources such as time, money, and people
to support you. Even more importantly, it includes internal resources such as the
feeling of confidence from past experiences where you achieved goals which had
a similar challenge. Internal resources can be anchored, as we will learn
tomorrow.)
Goal:__________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________

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 Sensory Acuity (Calibration)
VEGES

1. Voice -speed
-volume
-tone
-timbre
-words used

2. Eyes -movements
-pupil dilation

3. Gestures and General Posture.

4. Expiration/Inspiration
-rate of breathing
-amount of breathing
-pauses
-location in body

5. Skin -colour
-muscle tone
-size of areas (e.g. lips)
-shiny?

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 Sensory Acuity Exercises
Visual Sensory Acuity

1. In a pair, one person sits with their eyes closed and is asked to: "think of someone you
really like..... See their face in front of you, listen to the sound of their voice saying
something they commonly say, and feel what it would feel like if they were sitting beside you
now. Keep doing that for a few seconds more." As they do this, the second person observes
their face and body carefully. Then tell them to open their eyes and take a deep breath.

2. Next the same person closes their eyes again and is asked to "Now think of someone
else. Someone it's okay for you to think of, but who - at least at the time you're thinking of -
you really don't like. See that person's face in front of you, listen to the sound of their voice
saying something they'd commonly say, and feel what it would feel like it they were beside
you now. Just continue with that a few seconds more. "If the person has difficulty finding an
example for this part, suggest politicians or figures from TV programmes. Once they are
remembering the person, again observe their face and body carefully. Then have them open
their eyes and take a deep breath.

3. Finally the person will close their eyes once more and choose one of the two people to
think of (randomly, and without telling the observer). As they, with eyes closed, see, hear and
feel that person, the observer will make a guess as to which person it is. Repeat this until the
observer can recognise the subtle changes in breathing, head position, skin colour etc. Then
reverse roles and repeat.

Auditory Sensory Acuity

1. In a pair, one person sits with their eyes closed. The other person chooses two people
to describe. One is someone they like; one is someone its okay for them to think about, but
who at least at the time they are thinking of- they dont like. Choose two people of the same
sex. Describe each person in turn, saying a few sentences about them. The listener pays
attention to the changes in their voice between the two people.

2. Next the speaker chooses one of the two people they thought of, at random, and
without telling the listener which one. They describe a specific aspect of that persons life
(making up details where needed), without using words which reveal the identity of the
person. The listener will make a guess as to which person it is. Repeat with the second
person, so you get to hear the difference again. Then reverse roles and repeat the exercise.
Examples of aspects of the persons life which could be described are:

What are their hobbies?

What kind of clothes do they wear?
What kind of job do they do?
What kind of childhood did they have?
What is their house/apartment like?

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 Rapport Exercises
1. Auditory Rapport. In a group of three, one person states a simple sentence, such as
"Matching your voice can enhance rapport." A second person restates this sentence, aiming
to, use exactly the same tone, speed, loudness, emphasis and timbre (voice quality) as the
original person. The third persons job is to detect any subtle differences and give feedback to
the second person on how they can change their voice to sound identical to the first one.
Then, the first person again says the sentence and the second person again copies it. After
four times, change roles and repeat so each person gets practise with this.

2. Visual Rapport. In the group of three, one person talks for four minutes about how
they could use the skills of rapport in their daily life. This person should change their body
position at least twice in the four minutes. A second person will listen, and may offer their
own comments briefly. The second person's task is to mirror the posture of the speaker fully,
and to use the same gestures when they speak, as the first person uses while speaking.
Meanwhile the third person sits back further and observes, giving feedback to the listener at
the end. Change roles and repeat so each person practises mirroring.

3. Kinesthetic Rapport. This time in the group of three, the first person simply sits,
breathing normally, with their eyes closed. The second person, assuming a mirroring posture,
breathes in time with them. This person will watch for subtle movements of the shoulders
and abdomen to detect breathing. After breathing in time for two minutes (as measured by
the third person), the second person will gently slow down their breathing rate, and see if the
first person follows. [This exercise may be combined with the Visual Rapport exercise]

Two important points about this last exercise are:

1) People breathe at different rates. If you're copying a fast breather, take smaller "sips"
of breath than usual. If you're copying a slow breather, take bigger, deeper breaths.

2) At the end, before reversing roles, stand up and stretch, noticing that you can return to
your own style of breathing.

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 Mirroring
When my colleagues and I analysed the seemingly magical therapeutic interactions achieved
by such wizards as Virgina Satir and Milton Erickson, we discovered certain common behavioural
patterns. One of these patterns is mirroring. Mirroring is the process of offering back to the client
portions of their own nonverbal behaviour - just as a mirror does. Mirroring is a way to imitate the
high context messages the client is giving without attaching meaning for the client.
You are already familiar with macro types of mirroring in your ongoing experience. An
example of mirroring on this scale is behaving suitably - like not swearing in church or in front of
Aunt Milly, whereas you might swear when with a peer group, knowing it will make some of your
friends more comfortable with you. Another example of mirroring on this scale is dressing
appropriately for a particular occasion. As a more refined example, we tend to match our table
manners and body postures to the level of formality we perceive to be congruent with the place and
people with whom we are dining. Mirroring on its various levels is the behavioural equivalent of
agreeing with someone verbally.
To mirror effectively you must be able to make refined visual and auditory distinctions
regarding your own, as well as your clients, behaviour. The portions of your clients behaviour that
are worthwhile mirroring include body postures, specific gestures, breathing rhythms, facial
expressions, and voice tone, tempo, and intonation patterns. Matching some or all of these will assist
you in achieving a harmonious interaction. In fact, by mirroring it is possible to disagree with the
content portion of a persons communication (what they are saying) and remain in complete rapport.
To begin learning how to mirror, take the time to watch other people interact. Watch children
playing; observe in restaurants, meetings, and cocktail parties. Anytime you are near people who are
interacting, notice how much mirroring is going on. Also, notice the quality of interaction that occurs
when mirroring is absent.
After a short period of time in an observers position, you will know that people instinctively
mirror each other. You can now begin to do so deliberately to achieve specific outcomes. Start by
mirroring just one aspect of another persons behaviour while talking to them. When this is easy, add
another discreet piece - like their voice tempo - and another, and then another, until you are mirroring
without thinking about it, but you can consistently observe it in your behaviour in retrospect.
The more you practice, the more aware you will become of the rhythms that you and others
generate with gestures and breathing patterns, and in voice tones, tempo, and intonation patterns. Be
sure to notice the degree to which couples are out of sync when they are miscommunicating, in
contrast to how they are in sync when doing well with one another. The difference in degree to which
a couple is mirroring before and after you work with them is an important indicator of change.
Many therapists think that mirroring is the same as mimicking, and they are reluctant to
mirror because they are afraid they will offend their clients. We have very strong cultural restraints
with regard to mimicking others. These cultural restraints are so strong that this tremendous means of
learning is often denied us from a young age. Dont be a copycat! we are chided. If we detect
someone mimicking us we feel that they are likely to be making fun of us and we often are offended.
However, mirroring is not mimicry. Mimicry is usually characterised by some exaggeration of a
behavioural feature. Mirroring is the subtle, behavioural reflection of those meaningful, unconscious
communications each of us offers to the attentive receiver.
Though mirroring might feel awkward to the novice, its value in achieving and maintaining
rapport makes it worth doing whatever is necessary to become skilled. It requires effort to learn how
to mirror effectively: You need to tune your perceptions to portions of your own and others behaviour
of which you were previously unaware.
From Solutions by Leslie Cameron-Bandler, Futurepace, 1985.

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 Dimensions of Rapport
VEGES
1. Voice -speed
-volume
-tone
-timbre
-predicate words
-key metaphors used

2. Eyes -movements
-blink

3. Gestures and General Posture.

4. Expiration/Inspiration
-rate of breathing
-type of breathing

5. Skin -facial expression

-pulse rate

Indicators Of Rapport
FLOW
1. Feeling of oneness.
2. Leading occurs.
3. Observable colour change in skin.
4. Words e.g. I feel very close to you - optional.

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 Building Rapport: Options
1. Simultaneous
match action as the person does it.
(eg body posture)
2. Direct
match behaviour with the same
behaviour of yours.
(eg breathe in time with them)
3. Matching
Same position as the other person
(eg both cross right leg over left).
Less intense; makes you seem
similar so they can decide
separate from you, eg in sales to
avoid buyers remorse; at decision
points in counselling.
4. Individual
match/mirror/pace one person
Sequential
vs match action after they do it .
(eg speech, gestures)
Crossover
vs match behaviour with a different
behaviour of yours (eg your foot
moves in time to their breathing).
Use when direct matching is unsafe
for your body (eg asthma)
Mirroring
vs Mirror image position (eg your left
leg crossed over right; their right
leg crossed over left). More intense;
makes you seem like a reflection
of their own experience.
Group
vs a) Identify the rapport leader (the
person others unconsciously copy)
and match them.
d) Build rapport with previous
group leaders who had rapport.
c) ask the group to do something ,
and do it with them.
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 Eye Accessing Cues
While most people lump all of their internal information processing together and call it
thinking, Bandler and Grinder have noted that it can be very useful to divide thinking into the
different sensory modalities in which it occurs. When we process information internally, we can do it
visually, auditorily, kinesthetically, olfactorily, or gustatorily. As you read the word circus, you may
know what it means by seeing images of circus rings, elephants, or trapeze artists; by hearing carnival
music; by feeling excited; or by smelling and tasting popcorn or cotton candy. It is possible to access
the meaning of a word in any one, or any combination, of the five sensory channels.
Bandler and Grinder have observed that people move their eyes in systematic directions,
depending upon the kind of thinking they are doing. These movements are called eye accessing cues.
The chart (above) indicates the kind of processing most people do when moving their eyes in a
particular direction. A small percentage of individuals are reversed, that is, they move their eyes in a
mirror image of this chart.
This chart is easiest to use if you simply superimpose it over someones face, so that
as you see her looking in a particular direction you can also visualise the label for that eye
accessing-cue.

Persons Right Persons Left

Vr Visual remembered (Up Left): seeing of things seen before, in the way they were seen before.
Sample questions that usually elicit this kind of processing include: What colour are your
best friends eyes? What does your coat look like?
Vc Visual constructed (Up Right): seeing images of things never seen before, or seeing things
differently that they were seen before. Questions that usually elicit this kind of processing
include: What would an orange hippopotamus with purple spots look like? What would
you look like from the other side of the room?
Ar Auditory remembered (Across Left): remembering sounds heard before. Questions that
usually elicit this kind of processing include: What is the last thing I said? What does your
alarm clock sound like?
Ac Auditory constructed (Across Right): hearing sounds not heard before. Questions that tend to
elicit this kind of process include: What would the sound of birds singing a rock song sound
like? What would your name sound like backwards?
Ad Auditory digital (Down Left): talking to oneself. Questions that tend to elicit this kind of
processing include: Say something to yourself that you often say to yourself. Recite a
memorised quote.
K Kinesthetic (Down Right): feeling emotions, tactile sensations (sense of touch), or
proprioceptive feelings (feelings of muscle movement). Questions to elicit this kind of
processing include: What does it feel like to be happy? What is the feeling of touching a
pine cone? How does it feel to run?
Adapted from Tranceformations by J. Grinder & R. Bandler, Real People Press, 1981.

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 Anchoring
In each experience, there are things you see, hear, feel, taste and smell. All these parts of the
experience are connected or anchored together in your mind. Any one part of the experience can be
used to recreate the state of mind you were in at that time.

Seeing a picture of an old friend may remind you of your friendship.

Hearing music you enjoyed years ago may remind you of how you felt then.
Feeling your body in a position you use to relax in can help you relax now.
Tasting food cooked just the way your parent did may remind you of childhood.
Smelling popcorn & candyfloss may remind you of the excitement of a fair.

We are consistently being anchored into states of mind, in this way. Even words (like these)
are anchors. The word anchor reminds you of the way an anchor looks and of the things youve
heard about anchors. You can use anchoring to help move yourself or someone else into the state of
mind and physiology you want.
Obviously, most of the changes people seek to make in counselling or psychotherapy can be
understood as changing negative anchors. Many of the powerful change techniques of NLP are
applications of this simple principle. Resource anchors can be used (see next page). A strong resource
anchor can also be collapsed with an anchor for an unwanted response, so that the resources are
connected to the situation they are needed in. A new strategy can be anchored into place, so that the
situation that once triggered an unresourceful response now triggers the new strategy.

Setting an Anchor (SPUR)

There are four simple things to make sure of when you set an anchor:
1. State Intensity and Congruity. The person must be in the state of mind you want, not half in that
state and half in another.
2. Precise Timing. You must time the anchor to happen while the person is in that state, not before or
after it.
3. Uniqueness. The anchor must be something that is not going to happen by accident at other times. It
should be unique.
4. Replicable. The anchor must be something you can repeat in exactly the same way, whenever you
want to recreate that state of mind.

Examples
1. While someone is remembering a time that they were curious and eager to learn, you might
make a special hand gesture, that you do not usually make. Next time you want them to feel curious
and eager to learn, you can recreate that state by making that gesture again. Changing students
anchored responses to learning situations is the key to successful teaching.
2. While someone is feeling very relaxed and remembering a time when they were on holiday,
they might say to themselves the phrase Calm and relaxed. Next time they are in an challenging
business situation, they can say to themselves Calm and relaxed in that same tone of voice, and they
will then relax. Note that most advertising is simple anchoring (reminding someone of a pleasant
experience and then flashing on the brand name of the product).
3. Research on the use of Pavlovian conditioning (anchoring) with rats indicates that allergic
responses can be anchored to a normally pleasant smell, so that whenever the rats smell camphor (for
example) they become allergic. Reversing this logic, the NLP Allergy cure uses an anchor for the non-
allergic response, and associates that with the thing the person used to be allergic to. The result,
reported by Dr Vida Barron MD is 80% success in fully resolving the allergic response.

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 Setting a Resource Anchor
1. The Practitioner establishes rapport with the person setting the anchor.

2. The practitioner explains the nature of anchors (assume its done in the class
example). Have the person choose a hand gesture to make with the non-dominant hand,
as a resource anchor. Have the person think of a time they would like to feel more
confident (not a full phobia or traumatic event; just a less comfortable or anxious time.
Say Notice what that feels like when you think of that time now. Youd know if that
feeling changed wouldnt you.

3. Ask the person to remember a time when they had the state of Confidence (be aware
that the easiest way to remember this state may be by remembering times when they
were doing something they enjoy doing, rather than what they describe as
confidence). Once they remember a time when they had that state intensely and
purely, have them Associate into that memory. To assist,
Experience the state of confidence yourself as you talk to them.
Say Step into your own body in that memory, seeing through your eyes, hearing
through your ears, and feeling fully that feeling of confidence.
Tell the person Adjust your body now, so that youre sitting the way you sit when you
feel that confidence. Notice the kind of voice you use as you feel that confidence.
Use your sensory acuity to check that the state looks congruent!

4. Tell the person When you feel that confidence fully, just make that gesture with your
hand, so that the feeling becomes totally associated with that gesture. If the feeling isnt
as strong at some time, just release the hand and wait till you can feel it fully again,
Have the person stand up and walk round, feeling that state of confidence and noticing
how they stand and walk in that state. Tell them again to make the hand gesture once
they know that the state is strong.

5. Tell the person to release the gesture, and sit down again. Now have them stretch and
eg look out the window, to break state.

6. Now tell them Now make that gesture again with that hand, and feel how that
gesture now causes the state of confidence. Check that this works, using your sensory
acuity. This is testing the anchor. Afterwards, break state (for example by having them
release the anchor, take a breath, and think of something theyre looking forward to
later). If the anchor is working go to step 7. Otherwise repeat steps 3-6.

7. Tell the person Now, using that anchor, and feeling those resourceful feelings [have
them make the hand gesture] think of a future time when youd like to use that anchor;
a time when in the past you would have found it a little challenging to feel
resourceful. Notice as you think of it, how thats changed now!

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 Love Strategy
1. Think of a time that is comfortable to think of now, when you really felt totally
loved, or if those words don't fit, a time when you felt highly valued by someone.
Take the time to fully remember a specific time, a specific moment when you felt
that way. If you haven't found one easily in 5 minutes, invent a memory (it will
work perfectly anyway).

2. As you remember that time seeing what you saw, hearing what you heard, feeling
physically your body at that time check:

In order for you to feel loved or valued in that way, is it absolutely necessary for
a person to
a) Show you they love you (look at you with a certain look, buy you certain
things, take you certain places)?
b) Tell you they love you in a certain tone of voice or with certain words?
c) Touch you in a certain way?

Which of these three things is absolutely necessary for you to feel loved? Which one
is so important that even if the other two weren't happening, you'd feel loved just
with that?

3. Usually feeling loved is a one step strategy. Some sight/sound/touch triggers the
internal kinesthetic feeling of being loved. When you know this about yourself and
your partner, you can ensure each of you is able to send the message when you need
it most. To identify someone elses strategy, ask them the questions exactly as written
here.

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 Predicates (words the person uses to describe their subject)
Sorted by Sensory System

Unspecified (Ad) Visual Auditory Kinesthetic

attitude view/perspective opinion/comment position/stance

consider look over sound out feel out
persevere see through hear out carry through
demonstrate show/illustrate explain walk through
emit radiate/sparkle resonate vibrate/pulsate
absent blank silent numb
plain lacklustre/dull muted dull
ostentatious flashy/showy loud/screaming striking
attend to look after listen in on care for/support
ignore overlook tune out pass over/let slide
display show off sound off put on parade
understand get the picture tune in/click in to catch on/grasp
identify point out call attention to put the finger on
conceive imagine call up get a hold of
fully perceive get an eyeful get an earful get a handful/gutful
remind one of look familiar ring a bell strike as familiar
reconsider review/reflect repeat/recall rerun
teach illuminate instruct lead through
refer to point out/focus on allude/call attention to touch on/contact
attend to look at/focus on tune into get a feel for
insensitive blind deaf unfeeling
imitate reflect/mirror echo/play back bounce off/pace
equalised symmetry harmony balance
perceive/think see hear feel
intensity brightness volume pressure
motivate add sparkle/flash up tune up move/get into gear
decide see the options hear the options weigh the options
unperceptive blind deaf numb
require awareness make someone see convince hammer home
innovative state of the art last word up with the play
can be perceived clear -as day/crystal clear -as a bell solid/concrete
energy frequency blue/violetred highlow pitch hotcold
significance bigsmall long lastingbrief heavylight
meet with see talk to touch base with
considering that.. in the light of... on that theme... bearing in mind...
suggestions of glimmers of undertones of touches of
she has ability she has vision ...the gift of the gab she has guts
representation image/symbol/map figure of speech/metaphor model/structure
influence indirectly give the wink put a word in pull some strings
attend to... look at... listen to... get a load of...
rapport seeing eye to eye harmonised/tuned connected/contact

18
 The A-H Of Learning
1. Ask questions; Permission to not know.

2. Be willing to make mistakes

3. Chunk the information into sections with 7 2 pieces

4. Determine which sensory system combination works for you best

5. Easy, relaxed state of mind

6. First and last pieces are leaned more easily

7. Go through the information several times

8. Hang information on memory peg systems (eg mnemonics)

19
 Research on Neuro Linguistic Programming
A Summary Dr Richard Bolstad NLP Trainer, 2011
E-mail learn@transformations.net.nz
PO Box 35111, Browns Bay, Auckland, New Zealand, Freephone 0800-FOR-NLP
Overview

Research on NLP is in its infancy. The term NLP was first coined in 1976 (based on the term neuro-linguistics
used by Alfred Korzybski in 1930), so that the entire field is currently only 30 years old, and some of the most
significant techniques were developed within the last decade. Richard Bandler was a fourth year student in Dr
John Grinders linguistics class at the University of California in Santa Cruz, in 1972 when the two of them
began the development of NLP. The richness of NLP owes much to the network of people that this association
focused. Their network of professional contacts, whose ideas contributed to the development of NLP, included:

Virginia Satir (the family therapist from whom Bandler initially developed the language patterns that
became the metamodel),
Gregory Bateson (systems theorist and psychotherapist, whose partner Margaret Mead had studied
trancework with Dr Milton Erickson),
George Miller (the theorist who proposed the TOTE model for strategies),
Noam Chomsky (linguist),
Robert Spitzer (head of Science and Behaviour Books, who edited Fritz Perls work for publication).

Grinder and Bandlers friends in the initial NLP group included Judith DeLozier, Robert Dilts, Leslie Cameron,
David Gordon, Mary Beth Megus, Terry McClendon and others. The Structure of Magic Volume I was the first
book jointly published by Bandler and Grinder, in 1975.

Most NLP Practitioners trust the empirical evidence that what they are doing works, but the following article
collects some of the scant research data currently available to support their experience. Some NLP techniques
are simply modelled on techniques used and researched in other fields (Ericksonian Hypnosis and Classical
Conditioning being the two main examples) and in these fields NLP is an accelerated methodology for learning
these techniques, rather than the originator of them. In other cases research from the field of Psychology
supports the theoretical basis of NLP techniques which in themselves have not been fully researched yet (a key
example being the phenomenon called Submodalities in NLP). Finally some specific research on NLPs own
developed techniques does exist.

The NLP Model Of Sensory System Use And The NLP Spelling Strategy

One of the most important claims made by NLP is that people think in specific sensory languages, and these
types of thought can be accessed by changing the direction the subjects eyes look to. The following experiment
supports this notion, and its application to memorising the spelling of words.

F. Loiselle at the University of Moncton in New Brunswick, Canada (1985) selected 44 average spellers, as
determined by their pretest on memorising nonsense words. Instructions in the experiment, where the 44 were
required to memorise another set of nonsense words, were given on a computer screen. The 44 were divided into
four subgroups for the experiment.
Group One were told to visualise each word in the test, while looking up to the left.
Group Two were told to visualise each word while looking down to the right.
Group Three were told to visualise each word (no reference to eye position).
Group Four were simply told to study the word in order to learn it.
The results on testing immediately after were that Group One (who did actually look up left more than the
others, but took the same amount of time) increased their success in spelling by 25%, Group Two worsened their
spelling by 15%, Group Three increased their success by 10%, and Group Four scored the same as previously.
This strongly suggests that looking up left (Visual Recall in NLP terms) enhances spelling, and is twice as
effective as simply teaching students to picture the words. Furthermore, looking down right (Kinesthetic in NLP
terms) damages the ability to visualise the words. Interestingly, in a final test some time later (testing retention),
the scores of Group One remained constant, while the scores of the control group, Group Four, plummeted a
further 15%, a drop which was consistent with standard learning studies. The resultant difference in memory of
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the words for these two groups was 61% .

Thomas Malloy at the University of Utah Department of Psychology completed a study with three groups of
spellers, again pretested to find average spellers. One group were taught the NLP spelling strategy of looking up
and to the left, one group were taught a strategy of sounding out by phonetics and auditory rules, and one were
given no new information. In this study the tests involved actual words. Again, the visual recall spellers
improved 25%, and had near 100% retention one week later. The group taught the auditory strategies improved
15% but this score dropped 5% in the following week. The control group showed no improvement.

These studies support the NLP Spelling Strategy specifically, and the NLP notion of Eye Accessing Cues,
Sensory system use, and Strategies in general. They are reported in:
Dilts, R. and Epstein, T., Dynamic Learning, Meta, Capitola, California,1995

The NLP Model of Sensory Representational System Use

The claim that which sensory system you talk in makes a difference to your results with specific clients was
tested by Michael Yapko. He had 30 graduate students in counselling, and had them listen to three separate
taped trance inductions. Each induction used language from one of the main sensory systems (visual, auditory
and kinesthetic). Subjects were assessed before to identify their preference for words from these sensory
systems. After each induction, their depth of trance was measured by electromyograph and by asking them how
relaxed they felt. On both measures, subjects achieved greater relaxation when their preferred sensory system
was used.
Yapko. M., The Effects of Matching Primary Representational System Predicates on Hypnotic Relaxation. in
the American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis, 23, p169-175, 1981

Mirroring and Rapport

In 1995 a remarkable type of neuron was discovered by researchers working at the University of Palma in Italy
(Rizzolatti et alia, 1996; Rizzolatti and Arbib, 1998). The cells, now called mirror neurons, are found in the
pre-motor cortex of monkeys and apes as well as humans. In humans they form part of the specific area called
Brocas area, which is also involved in the creation of speech. Although the cells are related to motor activity (ie
they are part of the system by which we make kinaesthetic responses such as moving an arm), they seem to be
activated by visual input. When a monkey observes another monkey (or even a human) making a body
movement, the mirror neurons light up. As they do, the monkey appears to involuntarily copy the same
movement it has observed visually. Often this involuntary movement is inhibited by the brain (otherwise the
poor monkey would be constantly copying every other monkey), but the resulting mimickery is clearly the
source of the saying monkey see, monkey do.

In human subjects, when this area of the brain is exposed to the magnetic field of transcranial magnetic
stimulation (TMS), thus reducing conscious control, then merely showing a movie of a person picking up an
object will cause the subject to involuntarily copy the exact action with their hand (Fadiga et alia, 1995). This
ability to copy a fellow creatures actions as they do them has obviously been very important in the development
of primate social intelligence. It enables us to identify with the person we are observing. When this area of the
brain is damaged in a stroke, copying anothers actions becomes almost impossible. The development of speech
has clearly been a result of this copying skill. Furthermore, there is increasing evidence that autism and
Aspergers syndrome are related to unusual activity of the mirror neurons. This unusual activity results in a
difficulty the autistic person has understanding the inner world of others, as well as a tendency to echo speech
parrot-fashion and to randomly copy others movements.

Mirror neurons respond to the facial expressions associated with emotions as well, so that they enable the person
to directly experience the emotions of those they observe. William Condon has meticulously studied videotapes
of conversations, confirming these patterns. He found that in a successful conversation, movements such as a
smile or a head nod are involuntarily matched by the other person within 1/15 of a second. Within minutes of
beginning the conversation, the volume, pitch and speech rate (number of sounds per minute) of the peoples
voices match each other. This is correlated with a synchronising of the type and rate of breathing. Even general
body posture is adjusted over the conversation so that the people appear to match or mirror each other (Condon
1982, p 53-76). As a person adjusts their facial expression and other nonverbal behaviour to match others they
actually use the same pattern of brain activation that the other person is using. When their mirror neurons
respond and they copy the persons actions, they thus feel what that person is feeling. This results in what

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researchers call emotional contagion what NLP calls rapport (Hatfield et alia, 1994).
Bandler, R. and Grinder, J. Frogs Into Princes, Real People Press, Moab, Utah, 1979
Bolstad, R. RESOLVE: A New Model Of Therapy Crown House, Bancyfelin, Wales, 2002
Condon, W. S. "Cultural Microrhythms" p 53-76 in Davis, M. (ed) Interactional Rhythms:Periodicity in
Communicative Behaviour Human Sciences Press, New York, 1982
Fadiga, L., Fogassi, G., Pavesi, G. and Rizzolatti, G. Motor Facilitation during action observation: a
magnetic stimulation study p 2608-2611 in Journal of Neurophysiology, No. 73, 1995
Hatfield, E., Cacioppo, J. and Rapson, R. Emotional Contagion Cambridge University Press, Cambridge, 1994
Palubeckas, A.J. Rapport in the therapeutic relationship and its relationship to pacing Dissertation Abstracts
International 42(6), 2543-B 2544-B, Boston University School of Education, 127pp, Order = 8126743
Rizzolatti, G., Fadiga, L., Gallese, V. and Fogassi, L. Premotor cortex and the recognition of motor actions p
131-141 in Cognitive Brain Research, No. 3, 1996
Rizzolatti,G. and Arbib, M.A. Language within our grasp p 188-194 in Trends in Neuroscience, No. 21, 1998
Sandhu, D.S., Reeves, T.G. and Portes, P.R. Cross-cultural counseling and neurolinguistic mirroring with
Native American adolescents p 106-118 in Journal of Multicultural Counselling and Development, Vol 21, No.
2, April, 1993

The NLP Model Of Association-Dissociation And The NLP Phobia/Trauma Process

Several small scale studies support the success of the NLP Phobia cure, which is based on the NLP model of
Dissociation. Here are a collection. In this case the treatment, which takes about 10 minutes, is the standard one
taught on NLP Practitioner courses.
Denholtz M.S., and Mann, E.T., "An automated audiovisual treatment of phobias administered by non-
professionals" in the Journal of Behaviour Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry (6, p 111-115), 1975. The first
report of the use of the technique, suggesting it may have some merits.
Allen, K., "An Investigation of the Effectiveness of Neuro Linguistic Programming Procedures in treating Snake
Phobias" (in Dissertation Abstracts International 43, 861B), 1982. This study of 36 undergraduate students
with snake phobias found the NLP process behaviourally as successful as far longer behaviourist Massed
Systemic Desensitisation regimes, and more convincing subjectively to the participants.
Einspruch, E. Neurolinguistic Programming in the Treatment of Phobias in Psychotherapy in Private
Practice, 6(1): 91-100, 1988 In this study from the University of Miami Phobia Trauma Clinic, 31 phobic
clients were seen in group therapy, and 17 in individual therapy. The subjects were given questionnaires before
and after therapy, and these suggest that the technique is successful for symptoms of both anxiety and
depression in clients with phobias.
Koziey, P., and McLeod, G., Visual kinesthetic Dissociation in Treatment of Victims of Rape in Professional
Psychology; Research and Practice, 18(3); 276-282,1987 The study, from the University of Alberta, showed the
reduction of anxiety in teenage rape victims, and recommends the use of the process in cases of trauma.

Dr David Muss did a pilot study on this method, with 70 members of the British West Midlands Police Force, all
of whom had witnessed major disasters such as the Lockerbie air crash. Of these 19 qualified as having PTSD.
The time between trauma and treatment varied from six weeks to ten years. All participants reported that after an
average of three sessions they were completely free of intrusive memories and other PTSD symptoms. For most,
one session was enough to solve the problem. Followup ranged from 3 months to 2 years, and all gains were
sustained over that time (Muss, 1991). This kind of success is almost unprecedented in the field of
psychotherapy. Even more important, it can be achieved by anyone with a basic understanding of NLP, and does
not depend on the magical talents of a rare expert.
Muss, D. A New Technique For Treating Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in British Journal of Clinical
Psychology, 30, p 91-92, 1991
Muss, Dr D. The Trauma Trap. Doubleday, London, 1991

The Use Of Submodalities

Many NLP techniques are based on the changing of specific qualities (called submodalities) of the internal
pictures, sounds and body responses a subject uses. Research on these was occuring before NLP developed, and
is summarised in the back of the book
Gordon, D., Therapeutic Metaphors, Meta, Cupertino, California, 1978
Studies show, for example, that the submodalities in which a client views a placebo (how colourful the pill
packaging is, say) will affect the result. Other studies show that changes in the submodalities in one sensory
22
system will automatically result in changes in the other sensory systems and in emotional changes (so if you
change the way your internal picture looks, youll feel different). As an example, office workers in a room
repainted blue will complain of the cold, even though the thermostat is constant, but will stop complaining if it
is repainted yellow. These responses are physiological, so that sounds of about 80 decibels produce a 37%
decrease in stomach contractions (similar to the result of fear, and likely to be perceived as such, as the writers
of scores for thriller movies know). These examples come from:
Buckalew, L.W., and Ross, S. ,Relationship of Perceptual Characteristics to Efficacy of Placebos in
Psychological Reports 49, p955-961, 1981
Berry, P. Effect of Coloured Illumination Upon Perceived Temperature in Journal of Applied Psychology,
45(4) p248-250
Smith, E.L. and Laird, D.A., The Loudness of Auditory Stimuli Which Affect Stomach Contractions In Healthy
Human Beings in Journal of the Acoustic Society of America, 2, p94-98, 1930
The swish is a submodality technique with a wide range of applications. It has been used successfully to resolve
compulsive behaviours such as nail biting (Wilhelm, 1991) or explosive violence (Masters et alia, 1991), as well
as to deal with anxiety conditions (Andreas and Andreas, 1992).
Wilhelm, F.A. "Submodality change and nail chewing. Empirical test of an imaginative method ('Swish')"
Masters, B.J., Rawlins, M.E., Rawlins, L.D. and Weidner, J. "The NLP Swish Pattern: An innovative visualising
technique" p 79-90 in Journal of Mental Healthy Counselling, Volume 13, No 1, January 1991
Andreas, S. and Andreas, C. Neuro-Linguistic Programming p 14-35 in Budman, S.H., Hoyt, M.F. and
Friedman, S. The First Session In Brief Therapy Guildford Press, New York, 1992

Anchoring

In orthodox psychological literature, the NLP technique of Anchoring is known as Classical Conditioning, as
developed 100 years ago by Ivan Pavlov (who induced dogs to salivate by ringing a bell just before feeding
them, and then ringing the bell alone). In one of the earliest studies of classical conditioning, an eleven month
old boy (Albert) was introduced to a white rat. Initially, Albert liked the rat and wanted to play with it. However,
each time he reached for it, the experimenter made a loud noise behind him, frightening him. After five such
noises, Albert had anchored fear to the rat, and panicked whenever he saw it. Having induced this phobia by
anchoring, the experimenters were then able to remove it similarly (though this is clearly an ethically dubious
study both for Albert and the rat!). Research from p 40 in :
Davison, G.C., and Neale, J.M., Abnormal Psychology, John Wiley & Sons, New York, 1986

In a controlled research study published in Germany (Reckert, 1994), Horst Reckert describes how in one
session he was able to remove students' test anxiety using this simple technique, described below. In another
study, John Craldell discusses the use of anchoring to access a "self-caring-state" useful for adult children of
alcoholics (Craldell, 1989), and in a third study, Mary Thalgott discusses the use of anchors to support children
with learning disabilities (Thalgott, 1986).
Craldell, J.S. "Brief treatment for adult children of alcoholics: Accessing resources for self care"p 510-513 in
Psychotherapy, Volume 26, No 4, Winter, 1989
Thalgott, M.R. "Anchoring: A "Cure" For Epy" p 347-352 in Academic Therapy, Volume 21, No 3, January
1986
Reckert, H.W. "Test anxiety removed by anchoring in just one session?" in Multimind, NLP Aktuell, No 6,
November/December 1994

Of the hundreds of examples of anchoring principles applied in an innovative way, without the name
Anchoring, one stands out for me. It is Ellen Langers study of two groups of elderly men (aged 75-80 years),
at Harvard University. For 5 days, these two comparable groups of men lived in a closely supervised retreat
centre out in the country. One group was engaged in a series of tasks encouraging them to think about the past
(to write an autobiography, to discuss the past etc). The other group was engaged in a series of tasks which
actually anchored them back into a past time (1959). They wrote an autobiography only up to 1959, describing
that time as now, watched 1959 movies, had 1959 music playing on the radios, and lived with only the
artifacts available in 1951. Before and after the 5 days, both groups were studied on a number of criteria
associated with aging. While the first group stayed constant or actually deteriorated on these criteria, the second
group dramatically improved on physical health measures such as joint flexibility, vision, and muscle breadth,
as well as on IQ tests. They were anchored back to being 50 years old, by the sights and sounds of 1959.
Langer, E.J. Mindfulness, Addison Wesley, Reading, Massachusetts, 1989

The NLP Allergy Process, described below, is an example of a researched NLP technique using this anchoring

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principle.

The NLP Allergy Process

Here a research base exists outside of NLP. Several studies suggest that allergic responses can be generated (and
thus removed) by classical conditioning (which in NLP is called Anchoring). In these studies, an allergy
inducing chemical is given to mice, for example, at the same time as a camphor smell is released. In following
sessions, the smell of camphor will induce an allergic response. See as an example:
Pavlovian Conditioning of Rat Mucosal Mast Cells to Secrete Rat Mast Cell Protease II in Science, 6
January 1989, p83-85

Small studies on the NLP technique itself are also supportive. Dr Judith Swack studied ten people who had a
variety of allergies (cats, dust, flowers, cigarette smoke etc). Seven of the ten responded to the ten minute
allergy process by become completely response-free. Over two years, the results reduced, as three of the seven
regained some allergic response. Interestingly, of the three who initially got no success with the allergy process,
two became allergy free once Swack used other NLP techniques (Time Line Therapy, the Compulsion
Blowout and the Trauma Process) with them. The overall success of NLP in treating allergies may be close to
100%, but the success of the 10 minute process itself, with no other interventions, is initially 70% and on long
term followup is 40%.
Swack, J.A., A Study of Initial Response and Reversion Rates of Subjects Treated With The Allergy technique,
in Anchor Point, Vol 6, No2, Feb 1992

Language Pattern Use

Dr Thomas Macroy at Utah State University did a detailed study of 31 families, members of which were asked
to rate their level of satisfaction with the family. Next, a family session was held for each family and recorded
on audiotape. The audiotapes were analysed for the occurrence of 150 specific metamodel patterns. In those
families where people were less satisfied, substantially more metamodel patterns were being used, especially
deletions and unspecified nouns. This study supports the notion that challenging metamodel patterns is an
important way to enhance the ability to achieve satisfaction socially (Macroy, 1978).
Macroy, T.D. "Linguistic surface structures in family interaction" in Dissertation Abstracts International, 40 (2)
926-B, Utah State University, 133 pp, Order = 7917967, 1978

Donald Moine at the University of Oregon studied 45 minute long audiocassette recordings of insurance
salespeople. His sample included top producers from their companies, as well as "average" producers of sales.
The highly successful salespeople used far more embedded suggestions, complex equivalents, mind reading,
metaphors, pacing, and modal operators of possibility. This artfully vague and suggestive language was part of
their skill in enabling others to change (Moines, 1981).
Moine, D. "A psycholinguistic study of the patterns of persuasion used by successful salespeople" in
Dissertation Abstracts International, 42 (5), 2135-B, University of Oregon, 271pp, Order = 8123499, 1981

Dr Lewis Baxter (1994) showed that clients with obsessive compulsive disorder had raised activity in neural
networks inside the caudate nucleus of the brain (demonstrated on PET scans of the brain). Drugs such as
Prozac raise serotonin levels and the caudate nucleus activity is thus reduced. Baxter found that when clients
repeated a simple reframe to themselves, the PET scan showed the same raising of serotonin levels and the same
lowering of activity in the caudate nucleus.
Baxter L. R. Positron emission tomography studies of cerebral glucose metabolism in obsessive compulsive
disorder. Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 1994, 55 Supplement: p 54-9.

Hypnosis And Communication With The Unconscious Mind

The research on the results of Hypnosis in general, and Ericksonian Hypnosis in particular amounts to many
volumes. NLP Practitioners have contributed to that research, as for example in the study done by Lynn
Timpany (of Transformations International Consulting & Training Ltd, New Zealand) into the use of a one
session hypnosis treatment for morning sickness and anxiety in 12 women who were pregnant. Of those 12
women, two had sleeping problems which disappeared as a result of the session, five of the eight who were
vomiting noticed a significant improvement, and two went from being nauseous virtually 100% of the time to
feeling ill less than 20% of the time.
Timpany, L., A Study of The Effectiveness of Single Session NLP Treatment For Pregnancy Treatment in

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Anchor Point, June 1996, p18-19

The literature about hypnosis documents some remarkable successes with its use in a variety of fields. As a
reference, see:
Crasilneck, H.B. and Hall, J.A. , Clinical Hypnosis: Principles and Applications, Allyn and Bacon, Boston,
1985

Studies show that hypnosis can over-ride what would have been considered incurable congenital conditions.
For example, the British Medical Journal in 1952 published a study of a 16 year old boy with congenital
ichthyosis erythroderma, whose skin was covered in a horny layer which wept fluid at the joints. In a week
following hypnosis, small areas of the body were clear, and the results spread to the rest of the body over the
second week. (above text, p376). In one of the clearest demonstrations of the ability to communicate with a
persons (literally) unconscious mind, D. Cheek induced 3000 fully anaesthetised patients to produce hand
movements as signals for yes and no, obviously without their conscious knowledge.
Cheek, D., Awareness of Meaningful Sounds Under General Anaesthesia. in Theoretical and Clinical aspects
of Hypnosis, Symposium Specialists, 1981

Time Line Therapy And Treatment Of Medical Conditions Such As Asthma

A one year research study (May 1993-May 1994) into the treatment of asthmatics, using NLP, was done in
Denmark. Results have already been presented at a number of European conferences, including the Danish
Society of Allergology Conference (August 1994), and the European Respiratory Society Conference (Nice,
France, October 1994). The study was run by General Practitioner Jorgen Lund and NLP Master Practitioner
Hanne Lund, from Herning, Denmark. Patients were selected from 8 general practices. 30 were included in the
NLP Intervention group, and 16 in the control group. All received basic medical care including being supplied
with medication. Most had never heard of NLP before, and many were completely unbelieving in it, or terrified
of it. Their motivation to do NLP was generally low. The intervention group had an initial day introduction to
NLP and Time Line Therapy, and then 3-36 hours (average 13) of NLP intervention. The NLP focus was not
mainly on the asthma; it was on how the people lived their daily lives. The interventions used were:
Clear anger, sadness, fear, hurt, guilt and any limiting decisions using T.L.Therapy
Use the NLP Trauma cure on the origin of the asthma.
Use the NLP allergy cure.

The results affected both the peoples general lives, and their asthma. Patients tended to describe their change
subjectively as enabling them to be "more open", get "colossal strength and self confidence" "a new life" etc.
The lung capacity of adult asthmatics tends to decrease by 50ml a year average. This occurred in the control
group. Meanwhile the NLP group increased their lung capacity by an average of 200ml (like reversing four
years of damage in a year!). Daily variations in peak flow (an indicator of unstable lung function) began at 30%-
40%. In the control group they reduced to 25% but in the NLP group they fell to below 10% . Sleep disorders in
the control group began at 70% and dropped to 30%. In the NLP group they began at 50% and dropped to
ZERO. Use of asthma inhalers and acute medication in the NLP group fell to near ZERO. Hanne Lund points
out that the implications of this project reach far beyond asthma management. She says "We consider the
principles of this integrated work valuable in treatment of patients with any disease, and the next step will be to
train medical staff in this model." Hanne Lund can be reached at: NLP Creative Kommunikationa, Bredgade 11,
DK 7400 Herning, Denmark

Use Of NLP In Psychotherapy

A study of NLP use in Psychotherapy was organised by Martina Genser-Medlitsch and Peter Schtz in Vienna,
Austria in 1996. The test sample of 55 therapy clients and the control group of 60 clients on a waiting list were
matched by pattern of symptoms, age, family circumstances, education level, therapy experience etc. The test
group were seen by members of a group of 37 NLP Master Practitioners (22 men and 15 women) who used a
full range of NLP techniques (reframing, setting outcomes, parts work, metamodel, metaphor, trance, time line
work, anchoring, belief changes, submodality shifts, strategies, and trauma-phobia process). Clients were
assessed with a number of questionnaires before therapy, after therapy, and at 6 month followup. The
assessments checked occurrence of individual discomforts, clinical psychological symptoms, coping strategies
used for stress management, locus of control (whether the people felt in control of their lives), and subjective
evaluation of the therapy by the client and the therapist. Diagnoses (ICD9) ranged from schizo-affective and
other psychotic disorders, through alcohol dependence, endogenous depressions, psychosomatic disorders, and
25
other issues to post traumatic stress disorders. These disorders were more severe initially in the test group than
in the control group on all scales, and their use of psychiatric drugs was higher. On average, treatments lasted 12
sessions (1-48) over a period averaging 20 weeks.

After treatment 1.9% of clients who had had NLP therapy felt no different, 38,9% felt better and 59.3% felt
considerably better. None of those treated felt worse. In the control group meanwhile, 47.5% felt no different,
29.5% felt better and 6.6% felt considerably better. 9.8% of the controls felt worse and 4.9% felt considerably
worse. At 6 month followup, 52% of clients who had had therapy felt considerably better, 28% felt better, 12%
felt there was no change, and 8% felt worse. Meanwhile, the therapists rated 49% of their treatments as having
met objectives well, 47% as having somewhat met objectives, and 4% as of little or no success.

After therapy, the clients who received NLP scored higher in their perception of themselves as in control of their
lives (with a difference at 10% significance level), reduced their use of drugs, used more successful coping
methods to respond to stressful situations, and reduced symptoms such as anxiety, aggression, paranoid
thinking, social insecurity, compulsive behaviours, and depression. the research showed that some positive
changes also occurred in the control group and could not be accounted for by the therapy, including some of the
reduction in psychosomatic symptoms, social isolation and some paranoid thinking. Altogether, positive changes
in 25 of 33 symptom areas (76%) occurred as a result of the therapy, positive changes in 3 areas occurred in
both groups, and no significant changes occurred in 5 areas.

Amongst the group who received therapy, there were some interesting differences. On 63.15% of the symptom
scales, changes were more pronounced in those under 36 years than those over 35 years old. On 40% of the
symptom dimensions, men improved more than women (especially in the areas of feeling more in control of life,
and reducing paranoid thoughts, aggression, depression and anxiety). Clients receiving longer durations of
therapy (11-48 sessions, as compared to 1-10 sessions) had more gains (especially in relief from compulsive and
psychotic behaviours) at the end of therapy, but also accounted for more of the loss of success at the 6 month
followup.

Use of NLP in Business Coaching

A study of NLP use in business coaching was done by Dr Trygve Roos in 2002. He followed up business clients
6-24 months after (usually single session) coaching and found that the gains they had made in work
performance, personal behaviour and perceived life quality were dramatic and sustained over that time. Dr Roos
points out that management research consistently emphasises the interrelatedness of these three types of
outcomes. Many business clients, he found, chose to work on what would be seen as personal issues, which
none-the-less had a profound effect on their business achievement. He gives examples (Roos, 2002, p 4) of a
client with a phobia of flying which had altered all his career choices, and a client with a phobia of pigeons who
had structured all his business meetings to avoid the need to walk past public parks. As an example of the
efficiency of his work with specific issues, he worked with 25 clients who wanted to give up smoking cigarettes
(Roos, 2002, p 91). 19 ceased smoking after a single 45 minute session, and another one after two sessions. At
follow-up 24 months later, only 5 of the original 25 had started smoking again, a success rate of 75%, over twice
the usual best results of longer aversion and other therapies for smoking.
Roos, T. Mental Coaching, Trafford Publishing, Victoria, Canada, 2002

Effects of NLP Training

In 1990 and 1992 Psychological Reports published research on the effects of NLP Practitioner training showing
that those attending increase their sense of being in control of their lives, reduce the level of anxiety in their life,
and demonstrate higher self actualisation.
What this means in practice is shown by follow-up of NLP Practitioners 6-9 months after their training in New
Zealand with Transformations International Consulting & Training Ltd. Having had time to realistically assess
the results of their training, 8 out of 10 Practitioners rated the training as one of their lifes most rewarding
experiences. This is a powerful statement from a group of highly educated graduates. 95% said it had improved
their ability to reach career goals, and 90% said it had helped them cope with a particular challenge or problem.
100% in the study rated it as well worth the investment of time and money. Here are some of the reports from
various settings:

Educators
A truly transforming experience. Learning is effortless. All aspects of the course thoroughly planned and

26
delivered with excellence and flair. Trish Murfitt, Secondary school teacher, Auckland
Ive had such good results with these techniques that students began coming to learn them out of class time.
Im now involved in sharing the skills in training sessions with staff. Julie McCracken, teacher, Christchurch

Health Professionals
This was the integrating principle I had been searching for all my life. Dr Janine Bailey, GP, Nelson
Life changing choices suitable to anyone in all walks of life. Mavis-Jean Beynon, Reg. Nurse, Christchurch
NLP offers the modern medical practitioner a range of important skills for communication, essential for
effective health care. Dr Susanna Kent, Emergency Medicine Registrar, Christchurch Public Hospital

Managers and Salespeople

I had spent 25 years in corporate life in the computer industry. After my NLP training I established what has
proven to be a successful vocational rehabilitation business with 12 colleagues working for me in six different
locations. I could not have achieved this success without the outstanding NLP strategies. Stu Macann,
Manager, Wellington, New Zealand
These skills are just too valuable to put a price on. Anthony Wightman, Medical sales rep., Wellington

Sportspeople
A big thanks for the NLP work we did before the Coast to Coast race. It totally turned my thinking around 180
degrees to a resolved and determined attitude. Race day was incredibly enjoyable and was just a breeze. Steve
Gurney, top New Zealand triathlete, Christchurch

Counsellors & Psychotherapists

After the NLP training I feel confident in coping with many situations I previously was not confident with.
Dr Azra Mulaomerovic, Psychiatrist, Sarajevo, Bosnia-Herzegovina
Professionally my work has just taken off. What a gift it is to be able to remove a persons phobia, relieve a
past trauma, halt an eating disorder, obliterate a sense of abandonment, enhance self-esteem, instil a sense of
purpose in someones life, and much more. Jeff Saunders, Psychotherapist, Christchurch

Summary

None of the above studies are large enough to constitute scientific proof (with the possible exception of D.
Cheeks 3000 unconscious patients giving hand signals). What they do is give us reason to research further, and
grounds for using NLP in an experimental way. The situation remains only a little improved from the way Eric
Einspruch and Bruce Foreman saw it in their 1985 review of research on NLP; Many skilled NLP Practitioners
have a wealth of clinical data indicating that this model is highly effective. Clearly these Practitioners would
provide a service to the field by presenting their data in the literature so they may be critically evaluated.
Einspruch, E.L., and Forman, B.D., Observations Concerning Research Literature on Neuro-Linguistic
Programming, in Journal of Counselling Psychology, Vol 32, 4, p589-596, 1985

Research On SPECIFYing Goals and The Secret

Dr Richard Bolstad 2009

In developing NLP, we have studied hundreds of people who have achieved success in many fields through
history, and the way they set goals is central to their success. The purpose of goal-setting is to motivate you to
actually achieve what you want in life. It is not to motivate you to avoid problems, and it is not to distract you so
you avoid thinking about the problems. It is to motivate you to act! Almost everyone believes that they use goals
to some extent, but what is different about the way that the most successful change agents set goals? The answer
is that they SPECIFY them. What does that mean? It means to make them:

Sensory specific and timed

Positive
Ecological
Choice increasing
Initiated by you... with
First step identified
Your resources identified

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Outside of the field of NLP, most people understand the importance of goals, but not many of them actually use
this SPECIFY process. Recently, there has been some dramatic new research about what enables goals to work.
That is what this article is about.

This research suggests that the two most common unsuccessful choices people make in goal-setting are:

1) Paying attention to what they dont want all the time, instead of what they do want.
2) Fantasising about having achieved what they want, instead of planning action.

Unsuccessful Choice 1: Focus on the Problem. Focusing on problems and what we dont want is paying
attention to the past. It feels very different to focusing on the goal, outcome or solution to those problems, and it
has very different results. In 2000, Dr Denise Beike and Deirdre Slavik at the University of Arkansas conducted
an interesting study of what they called counterfactual thoughts. These are thoughts about what has gone
wrong, along with what they could have done differently. Dr. Beike enlisted two groups of University of
Arkansas students to record their thoughts each day in a diary in order to "look at counterfactual thoughts as
they occur in peoples day-to-day lives." In the first group, graduate students recorded their counterfactual
thoughts, their mood, and their motivation to change their behavior as a result of their thoughts. After recording
two thoughts per day for 14 days, the students reported that negative thoughts depressed their mood but
increased their motivation to change their behavior. They believed that the negative thoughts were painful but
would help them in the long term.

To test out this hope, the researchers then enlisted a group of students to keep similar diaries for 21 days, to
determine if any change in behavior would result from counterfactual thinking. Three weeks after completing
their diaries the undergraduate students were asked to review their diary data and indicate whether their
counterfactual thinking actually caused any change in behavior. "No self-perceived change in behavior was
noted," Dr. Beike told Reuters Health. Counterfactual thoughts about negative events in everyday life cause us
to feel that we "should have done better or more," Dr. Beike said. "These thoughts make us feel bad, which
motivates us to sit around and to feel sorry for ourselves." So what does work? The study found that "credit-
taking thoughts, in which individuals reflect on success and congratulate themselves, serve to reinforce
appropriate behavior and help people "feel more in control of themselves and their circumstances." (Slavik,
2003).

Unsuccessful Choice 2: Fantasise About The Solution. Although focusing on the problem you have had does
not lead to success, neither does merely fantasising about the future success. Lien Pham and Shelley Taylor at
the University of California did a study where a group of students were asked to visualise themselves getting
high grades in a mid-term exam that was coming up soon. They were taught to form clear visual images and
imagine how good it will feel, and to repeat this for several minutes each day. A control group was also followed
up, and the study times of each student as well as their grades in the exam were monitored. The group who were
visualising should, according to proponents of The Secret DVD and the Law of Attraction, have a clear
advantage. In fact, they did much less study, and consequently got much lower marks in the exam (Pham and
Taylor, 1999).

This result is very consistent. There are now a large number of research studies showing that The secret or
The law of attraction (visualising your outcome and then letting go and trusting that the universe will provide
it) impedes success. Gabrielle Oettingen at the University of Pennsylvania has done a number of studies
showing the same result. In one study, women in a weight-reduction program were asked to describe what
would happen if they were offered a tempting situation with food. The more positive their fantasies of how well
they would cope with these situations, the less work they did on weight reduction. A year later, those women
who consistently fantasised positive results lost on average 12 kilos less than those who anticipated negative
challenges and thus put in more effort (Oettingen and Wadden, 1991). Oettingen followed up final year students
to find out how much they fantasised getting their dream job after leaving university. The students who
fantasised more reported two years later that they did less searching for jobs, had fewer offers of jobs, and had
significantly smaller salaries than their classmates (Oettingen and Mayer, 2002). In another study, she
investigated a group of students who had a secret romantic attraction, a crush, on another student. She asked
them to imagine what would happen if they were to accidentally find themselves alone with that person. The
more vivid and positive the fantasies they made, the less likely they were to take any action and to be any closer
to a relationship with the person 5 months later. The result is consistent in career success, in love and attraction,
and in dealing with addictions and health challenges (Oettingen, Pak and Schnetter, 2001; Oettingen, 2000;
Oettingen and Gollwitzer, 2002).

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Richard Wiseman (2009, p 88-93) did a very large study showing the same result. He tracked 5000 people who
had some significant goal they wanted to achieve (everything from starting a new relationship to beginning a
new career, from stopping smoking to gaining a qualification. He followed people up over the next year, and
found firstly that only 10% ever achieved their goal. Dramatic and consistent differences in the psychological
techniques they used made those 10% stand out from the rest. Those who failed tended either to think about all
the bad things that would happen or continue to happen if they did not reach their goal (what NLP calls away
from motivation, and what other research calls counterfactual thought) or to fantasise about achieving their goal
and how great life would be. They also tried to achieve their goal by willpower and attempts to suppress
unhelpful thoughts. Finally, they spent time thinking about role models who had achieved their goal, often
putting pictures of the role model on their fridge or other prominent places, to remind them to fantasise. These
techniques did not work! And the most successful people did not waste their time doing them.

Wiseman warns that visualising what it will be like to have achieved your goal has become a popular tactic.
This type of exercise has been promoted by the self-help industry for years, with claims that it can help people
lose weight, stop smoking, find their perfect partner, and enjoy increased career success. Unfortunately, a large
body of research now suggests that although it might make you feel good, the technique is, at best, ineffective.
(Wiseman, 2009, p 84). This is because, as Wiseman notes, whether you achieve your goals is primarily a
question of motivation; of getting yourself to do certain things. Fantasising that everything has already been
done reduces motivation. It is fantasising that you are doing and achieving things that works! (see Gen
Rippingales article on rehearsal, in this issue of Trancescript) for more on this).

Goal-setting - What Works?

The complete inventory of successful strategies that Richard Wisemans research found fits neatly into our NLP-
based SPECIFY model.

Sensory Specific: Firstly, the most successful people did imagine achieving their goal, and were able to list
concrete, specific benefits they would get from it, rather than just say that they would feel happy. They had
what Wiseman calls an objective checklist of benefits and made these as concrete as possible, often by
writing them down. He notes although many people said they aimed to enjoy life more, it was the successful
people who explained how they intended to spend two evenings each week with friends and visit one new
country each year. (Wiseman, 2009, p 91- 93)
Positive: Secondly, they described their goal positively. Wiseman says For example, when asked to list the
benefits of getting a new job, successful participants might reflect on finding more fulfilling and well-paid
employment, whereas their unsuccessful counterparts might focus on a failure leaving them trapped and
unhappy. (Wiseman, 2009, p 92)
Ecological: Heres a surprising result of the research by both Gabriellle Oettingen and Richard Wiseman. After
thinking about the positive benefits of achieving their goal, the most successful participants would spend
another few moments reflecting on the type of barriers and problems they are likely to encounter if they attempt
to fulfil their ambition. focusing on what they would do if they encountered the difficulty. (Wiseman, 2009, p
101) Oettingen trained people to do this process, which she calls doublethink and was able to increase their
success dramatically just with this step.
Choice Increasing: Related to this NLP concept is the fact that successful goal setters made sure that they felt
as if their progress was bringing them rewards rather than limiting their choices and creating work. They
achieved this largely through the following: As part of their planning, successful participants ensured that each
of their sub-goals had a reward attached to it so that it gave them something to look forward to and provided a
sense of achievement. (Wiseman, 2009, p 93)
Initiated by Self: Successful goal setters have a plan. They do not leave their goal up to the law of attraction
or to someone else who will save them. Wiseman notes Whereas successful and unsuccessful participants
might have stated that their aim was to find a new job, it was the successful people who quickly went on to
describe how they intended to rewrite their CV in week one, and then apply for one new job every two weeks
for the next six months. (Wiseman, 2009, p 91)
First Step Identified: Wiseman found that it was particularly important to break the goal down into small steps
and manage one step at a time. Successful participants broke their overall goal into a series of sub-goals, and
thereby created a step-by-step process that helped remove the fear and hesitation often associated with trying to
achieve a major life change. (Wiseman, 2009, p 90-91)
Your Resources Identified: In NLP, we list both internal and external resources here. Wisemans research
studied only external resources, most especially friends, colleagues and family. Successful participants were far

29
more likely than others to tell their friends, family and colleagues about their goals. Telling others about your
aims helps you achieve them, in part, because friends and family often provide much needed support when the
going gets tough. (Wiseman, 2009, p 91)

Deciding Which Goal To Choose

Another important issue comes up whenever people set goals, and whenever they make decisions to purchase
something. It is related to what NLP calls a convincer metaprogram, a personality trait that determines how
easily people make decisions. In research, the two extremes of metaprogram (personality trait) are called
maximisers and satisficers. Richard Wiseman explains: Extreme maximisers tend to check all available options
constantly to make sure they have picked the best one. In contrast extreme satisficers only look until they have
found something that fulfils their needs. The result, from research, is that maximisers actually do get better
quality and more for their money, but they cannot turn off their maximising, so they are never satisfied. In one
study, 500 students from 11 universities were categorised as either maximisers or satisficers, and then followed
up as they sought employment. The maximisers got jobs earning them 20% more money, but they were less
satisfied with their jobs and more prone to regret, pessimism and anxiety. (Monterosso et alia, 2002). Wiseman
recommends that if you are a maximiser, you may want to set limits around each major decision, so that you
know when to let go of the decision.

Bibliography:

Monterosso, S., Lyubomirsky, K., White, K. and Lehman, D.R. Maximising Versus Satisficing: Happiness Is A
Matter Of Choice p 1178-1197 in Personality and Social Psychology, No 83 (5), 2002
Zeigarnik, A.V. ber das behalten von erledigten und unerledigten Handlungen (The retention of completed
and uncompleted actions) p 1-85 in Psychologische Forschung, No. 9, 1927
Pham, L.B. and Taylor, S.E. From Thought to Action: Effects of Process Versus Outcome Based Mental
Simulations on Performance. P 250-260 in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, No. 25, 1999
Oettingen, G. Pak, H. and Schnetter, K. Self-Regulation of Goal-setting: Turning Free Fantasies About the
Future Into Binding Goals p 736-753 in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, No 80, 2001
Oettingen, G. and Mayer, D. The Motivating Function of Thinking About The Future: Expectations Versus
Fantasies p 1198-1212 in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, No. 83, 2002
Oettingen, G. and Gollwitzer, P.M. Self-Regulation of Goal Pursuit: Turning Hope Thoughts into Behaviour p
304-307 in Psychological Inquirer, No 13, 2002
Oettingen, G. Expectancy Effects on Behaviour Depend on Self-Regulatory Thought p 101-129 in Social
Cognition, No. 18, 2000
Oettingen, G. and Wadden, T.A. Expectation, Fantasy, and Weight Loss: Is The Impact of Positive Thinking
Aways Positive? p 167-175 in Cognitive Therapy and Research, No. 15, 1991
Slavik, D.J. Keeping your eyes on the prize: outcome versus process focused social comparisons and
counterfactual thinking Thesis (Ph. D.), University of Arkansas, Fayetteville, 2003
Wiseman, R., 59 Seconds: Think A Little, Change A Lot, Macmillan, London, 2009

Inner Smile Script

1. This Chi Kung exercise is usually done sitting on a chair. Sit on the edge of the chair with your feet flat on
the floor. Your back needs to be straight but relaxed; an effect which you'll get by imagining that your head is
suspended by a cord from the crown up to the ceiling. Close your eyes and gently press your tongue against the
top of your mouth. Clasp your hands together gently.

2. Remember a time that you can feel comfortable recalling, when you felt caring or loving. Perhaps a time
when you were caring for a plant, or an animal, or for a child. Imagine that you can see this time, and the gentle
smile of caring it brings, as a picture about three feet in front of your eyes. Allow your forehead to relax, and
draw the energy of caring into the place between your eyes. Experience it as a limitless source of caring energy
flowing to this place, and from there flooding through your body as a smile.

3. Allow the smiling energy to flow across your face, relaxing it. Smile into the neck and throat, through the
thyroid and parathyroid glands, which control your metabolic rate and keep your bone tissue balanced. Smile
down to the thymus gland in the upper central chest area; the gland which co-ordinates your immune system.
From there spread the smile back to the heart, allowing it to relax and blossom in a shining red light,
transforming hastiness and irritation to joy and love. Flow the smile out on each side to the lungs, filling them

30
with white light, transforming sadness and grief into the ability to discriminate whats right for you, and
enhancing their ability to take in energy from the air.On the right, flow the smile down through the liver, filling
it with leaf green light, enhancing its hundreds of cleaning and organising functions, and transforming
resentment and anger into an assertive kindness to yourself and others. On the left flow the smile through the
pancreas, which assists in digestion and regulation of blood sugar. The far left is the position of the spleen
which forms and stores blood cells, and here rigidity and stuck thinking are transformed to openness. Fill the
pancreas and spleen with yellow light. On each side the smile now flows to the back at waist level, flooding
through the kidneys which filter the blood, and the adrenal glands atop them which give your body the energy
burst of adrenalin. As these glands relax, fill the kidneys with dark blue light, and feel fear transformed into a
gentleness. Finally, flow the smiling energy down through the urinary bladder, and through the sexual organs,
including the glands (ovaries or testes) which balance the cycles of your life. Conclude by flowing the smile to
a place just below the navel and a couple of centimetres in from the front. Feel the energy spiral into this centre,
called Dan Tien in China, as a storage for the day. As you flow this smile, check for the "feeling" that each organ
is smiling back. Take the time it needs to allow this to happen.

4. Draw the smile again into the place between your eyes. This second time, flow the smile down your nose and
mouth into the digestive tract; swallowing as you do, and imagining that the saliva you swallow is also full of
smiling energy. Smile through the stomach, just below the ribs, and through the intestines. Having flowed the
smile down through the whole digestive system, draw the energy back to the Dan Tien centre below the navel.

5. The third time, draw the smile into the centre between your eyes (actually called "upper Dan Tien") and
circle your eyes nine times clockwise (as if watching a speeded up clock face right in front of your eyes) and
nine times counter-clockwise. Draw the smile back through the brain itself, smiling deep into the brain tissue,
where the glands which co-ordinate your entire hormonal system reside. Flow the smile down the spinal
column, and through the neurons (nerve cells) out to every part of the body. As you continue to draw the smile
into your body from an infinite source of love and healing, imagine the smile flowing out from your body into
the air around you, and across the entire room. The smile, remaining infinite, flows out beyond the room across
the whole area, across the whole country, into the oceans and across the continents, until the entire planet is
filled with the smile. As the smile continues to expand, just check back in your body in the room. Check if there
is anywhere in your body where there was an excess of energy (perhaps an area where there was some tension
-just an indication of energy not flowing on easily yet) and draw the energy back to lower Dan Tien, feeling it
spiral in there as a store for the day.

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 Keys to Success: Dr Richard Bolstad
Transcribed by Melody Taylor, Edited by Richard Bolstad
This Version Transformations International Consulting & Training
Original CD/MP3 Set and Trainings available from www.transformations.net.nz

Keys to Success CD 1A.

Nau mai, haere mai, which is to say welcome, welcome to this group, haere mai ki tenei ropu,
haere mai ki tenei whare, welcome to this place.

And I'm Richard and this is first of all the Keys to Success, which is an introductory
weekend. And secondly the Strategies of Success which is the first half of the NLP
Practitioner training. So the NLP Practitioner training is an international certification. And
this first two days and this first week is part of that, so what youre actually getting is either a
glimpse of the international course or the whole course. We are going to be doing some of the
things that are my main hobby over this weekend and I'll be introducing you to NLP, but I
think a lot more than that. NLP is a little hard to explain and so I'm going to explain it mostly
by getting you to do some things. NLP is sometimes called the study of success, which means
is the study of how people achieve the things they achieve. And I like to think that on the
Keys to Success we're not just learning about success but also about something that there's
only been research about out in the last few years ...and that is Happiness. So just to explain
those two things, so if I define NLP as being about happiness and success then it's useful to
know what those two things are as well. So what I mean by success is 'getting what you
want', right...and what I mean by happiness is 'wanting what you get...so that's a little
different...so they overlap. And we have a reasonable amount of research showing that when
people are (it especially goes one way) when people are happy then they are more successful
but not everyone who is successful is happy...and that's an important thing.

Like I don't know if you noticed, but on the way here today none of you would have been
preoccupied with where your food for the day would come from or whether youre going to
get shot at. And this is an extraordinary thing in history to know, to know for sure that your
going to have enough food and that your not going to get shot at. It's not common in the
history of this world. And I don't know if you've thought about that recently but it's an
extraordinary life that you live if you get to come to one of these trainings...not about the
trainings you understand, it's just living here and so on. And so there are many, many things
that are going to happen today that don't happen for most of the people living on this planet
today. You're going to eat and be in a place that's comfortable to be in...we do actually have a
heating system...I know some of you come from different places, if you come from
Christchurch which is where I first came from that's where then of course it's sweltering up
here but if you came from some parts of the world well then it's kind of a cool day. So ah...so
what I mean by happiness has a lot to do with gratitude, like feeling grateful for what's here.
So, over this weekend though we're also going to learn about this thing success ...which is
there are some people who are just really good at getting the results they want. And over the
last few years for the very first time we have very thorough research about how this happens.

Now when I first started teaching which was um let's... say a few decades ago, then what

32
actually I noticed was that I was teaching things that seemed to work but there wasn't a lot of
research about it. Its kind of like We know it works in practice, but does it work in theory?
Now one of the main things that I teach is relationship stuff...you know...how to have a loving
relationship with someone else, how to get along with the people that you work with, how to
not to end up in the situation like Chechnya or Bosnia in the 1990's. And one of the things
that's really important about that is this feeling of trust and mutual cooperation between
people. But it's only in the last ten to fifteen years we have good research about how that
happens and how it doesn't happen. One of the guys who has researched this and I'll mention
his name a little over this weekend is a guy named John Gottman. And John Gottman mainly
studies close relationships, marriages and intimate partnerships. And what he does...(it sounds
a bit weird) he gets two people who are living together to stay in one of his apartments for
about three days and he video tapes them 24 hrs a day.

And then he not only studies the video tapes...he also follows them up for 12 years. And what
he learned after the first couple of decades of doing that is that he can predict whether the
people will be together at the end of the 12 years from any 5min of them talking together. So
in 5 minutes of video them talking together he can predict with 96% certainty will this couple
will be together or not at the end the next decade. And he can predict with 80% certainty
which year they will split up. Now that's real precision and that wasn't available when I
started teaching this. And I'm going to show you on this weekend how he does that stuff.
Does this sound interesting in itself?See we don't have to guess about this thing...like JG has
studied 100's or even 1000's of couples...we don't have to guess. And so, in the same way I
want to show you how people achieve success when they achieve goals that actually
work...instead of just having goals. From the research there was a large study done in just the
last couple of years, about goal-setting, and Richard Wiseman, a psychologist, followed up
5000 people who had major goals. So this is and most of the things Im teaching you Ill
base on research that comes from way outside the field of NLP from the main field of
Psychology so following up 5000 people whove got big goals in their life, and finding out
what happens over the next year; do they achieve their goals and how do they achieve them?
And heres one of the interesting things: only 10% of the 5000 people actually achieved their
goal. So most people just dont get what they want. They dont know how to, because there's
a huge difference between what the people who achieve their goals do and what the people
who don't achieve. So if we study those who achieved their goals.. and this is what NLP is
about...we can find out exactly what they did and then teach it to the other 90%.

That's what I'm doing this weekend. So I'm going to tell you that on this weekend I'm going
to teach you how to set goals...and every single one of you knows how to set goals, I mean
that just sounds stupid, but I'm going to show you how the 10% do it. I'm going to show you
how to set goals so theyre pretty much guaranteed to work.

And there are 2 main things that the people who achieved their goals didn't do...and one of
the things the people who got their goals didn't do was they didn't think a lot about the
problems that they've got already...so, you probably knew that already, but they didn't think
gee I hope it doesn't carry on being the way it is, and things have been so bad in my life...they
didn't spend much time doing that at all.

And those people who did...did not achieve their goal. And even though they thought that the
more they thought about how bad it was because they thought that was going to help them,
you know like it was going to motivate them like if I think about how awful it is it'll really

33
get me going and all it did was get them depressed. So that doesn't work, it simply doesn't
work there's no point wasting your time with it. If you want to achieve things there's one
other thing that doesn't work, the biggest other thing that people who didn't achieve their
goals did (and this may surprise you) is they fantasized about having had their goal. And they
spent a lot of time each day about how cool it's going to be...and the more they
fantasized...the less they did. That's really important to know because there's some DVD's
going around in the last couple of years saying that if you fantasize about your goal, wow
then the universe will give it to you...just like that. Its like a genie. And actually the research
shows the exact opposite...it shows the more you fantasize the less likely you are to get it.
That's really important to know. So what's the difference...there must be some truth in the
(has anybody heard about The Secret)? How many people have heard about The Secret DVD
by the way? Ok so you must know there's going to be a bit of an overlap between that and
what your going to learn here and um because I already said that I'm going to show you how
not to think about the problem and to think about what you want. But I also want to show you
how not to get caught up in fantasizing. Because you know people (not yourself) you know
other people who have had problems because they just wish all the time. They fantasize how
wonderful it will be to achieve their goal. And so what we find in the research is, the more
people do that, the more they imagine that maybe it's just going to happen magically the more
they just don't do anything. That's what happens in the research rather than in the video. So
there are some things that's worth you knowing about how some of the most successful
people in the world do things. And I'm going to show you how to achieve goals, how to build
what I would call rapport, that feeling in a relationship of trust, I'm going to show you some
things about learning, how to learn things quickly and efficiently, I'll show you for example a
process that will take approximately 5 minute, maybe less than that, maybe 1 minute, from
the research, how you can (unless of course your using it already) increase your memory by
61%...and it'll take less than 5 minutes. As long as I can remember how to do it.I'll show
you it.

What I'm going to show you here is the structure of how people change rapidly as well.
Because some people have the idea that well if Im not good at learning already then I'm
probably never really going to be good at it and I've just got to cope with that. Teachers at
school told me, well do the best you can but we don't hope too high. So actually that's not
true...the truth is whatever you really want to learn to do better, you can just go ahead and
learn it...you just go out and find people who can do it and you can learn how to do it.

So I'm going to show you how to change very quickly. I'm going to show you the core ideas
that makes all of this possible...I'm going to show you the core of NLP on this weekend. I'm
going to show you the thing that NLP is most famous for which is how to use the different
sensory systems in the brain. I'm going to show you how the most successful people use their
brain and how they use very specific areas of the brain. Because the brain is not all one thing,
it's got several different kinds of modules or different languages we might say. That's why it's
called Neuro Linguistic Programming...Neuro means the brain...Linguistic =
languages...Neuro Linguistic means languages of the brain...Programming means = you get to
run the show. So, in doing that, what really successful people do is they get themselves in the
state of mind that they want...see you can go to endless trainings and learn new skills and one
of the things that people notice is (cause I train in a lot of places and I mean not just a lot of
places around the world: Asia, Europe, the Americas and here in Australasia of course) and
one of the things that people tell me a lot is went to this training and I learned these
fantastic skills but the times when I need them the most is when I'm least able to use them

34
because I'm really annoyed and distressed you know. And at those times I'm not in the state of
mind where I can use the damn stuff, I can hardly remember what it was. So if you don't
know how to change your state very quickly you don't get to use what you learn and I want to
show you how you can do that. How to get confident when you want to be confident, how to
relax...see a lot of the people that I teach are managers of government organizations here in
NZ large corporations here and in Japan and so I do a lot of that sort of teaching, and one of
the things that I notice is that the most successful managers are able to change state their state
of mind very quickly. So they go into one meeting and their motivating a team of people and
their dynamic and enthusiastic and then they go into another situation and very quickly
they're talking to someone about a personal issue so they calm down and they're very
understanding and supportive. Then they go into another situation and they've got to be
creative and there thinking up new ideas, like how do we deal with this economic situation,
what kinds of things could we do that would make a resource out of this situation we've got
ourselves in. So they change quickly from one thing to another and I'm going to show you
how they do that. Now I'm hoping that this sounds like something you'd be interested in.

Because it's my hobby, so it would be a lot of fun if I could do this with you. Another thing is
we tried to warn you that this was going to happen on the advertising, so if youre here...that
ought to be why your here. If you were just wandering around Wellington and noticed that the
door was open...boy is this going to surprise you.

So the 1st thing is there's people from lots of different places here, some are from NZ, some
have come to NZ for this and they come from different backgrounds so and of course some of
the people here are managers, there will be people here who are education people who are
teachers/trainers. There will be people here who are medical practitioners. I have a variety of
trainings myself: I manage a company of course, I'm a trained teacher and I'm a trained nurse,
I have a health professional background. And I started of being interested in how peoples
body's work and then I noticed how your brain has a lot to do with how your body works.
And then I got kinda interested in...There's so much research about how your brain works and
hardly anyone is using it yet. You know what it's like when you get a users manual, like
maybe it came with one of those DVD recorders or something like that and it's got a users
manual and it's got million different functions. Or what about cell phones, you've got a cell
phone probably and it's got all these fancy functions, and you don't use of them at the most.
If you use of them then you think your pretty cool right? I mean cause you worked out how
to use of the stuff on the phone and mostly people just answer it when it rings and try to
figure out how to turn it off when they're finished ya know...

See that's ok when it's a cell phone cause after a few years youre going to get a new one but
with your brain your kind of going to be with it for a while so you really do want to use the
users manual.
Now as a heath professional it kind of intrigued me that you could show someone for
example how to get rid of an allergy in 5 min. See it's just a matter of knowing where it
works in the brain.
And that's interesting isn't it? Like what people do is....[ah we haven't started yet but I'm just
telling you where we're going.] See what people do is, they come to me with as if they've
got a watch...are you old enough to remember digital watches when they 1st came out? By
golly I sure do, see they looked like this, they all had a face like this and when you get them
they would kind of flash 12:00...so it's like someone comes to me with one of these watches
and says My watch is broken, and I say Well have you got the users manual? And they

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say It's no point looking at the users manual cause look it's broken, look it flashes 12:00 all
day and it's only supposed to do that twice a day. And I say No look it's working perfectly
but you do need to know...see here on the side it's got buttons and you need to know when to
press them. And they say Please don't patronize me. This watch didn't just break now, it's
been flashing 1200 for a very long time and you can't change it in 5minutes. And I say
Yeah but you see if you know where the buttons are... And they say This watch came out
of the factory flashing 1200...you think you can just press a button and it will change? You
know like it's pre programmed and it's broken. And I say No Really... and they say Look
I'm not going to discuss this with you, I've talked to an expert about this and they said that
this is one of a long line of watches that have been coming out of the factory and they've been
coming out of the factory flashing 12:00...so it's broken you see. Now you know it's not
broken, it works perfectly it's meant to flash 12:00 and of course whats happening is their
just not using it. That's why on this weekend it's the start of a users manual but for your brain.

See one of the things about your brain is...it doesn't always [I know you do] but your brain
doesn't know the difference between what's real and whats imagined. See I come from
Auckland, I live in Auckland now and my partner and I have a lemon tree and ah I just tried
one of the lemons from it the other day. And lemon trees have lemons on them quite a lot of
the year in Auckland anyway and there's a time, a certain time in the year when they're really
ripe and they look really shiny kind like they've been waxed or something ah it's
awesome...and anyway we had this lemon and when you cut into it the juice kind of sprays
out in a fine mist...have you ever done this? And it's got this intense lemon smell. Wow it's
intense and then if you cut into it again and you take off a slice of it and you put it in your
mouth and you bite down on it...it squirts to the back of your tongue, mmm it's so intense, it's
so much more intense than those ones that you buy at the shop and it's really really intense
right on the back of your tongue there that you get that taste.

Now I've just been talking about a lemon for 30 seconds...there's no lemon here right? But
your mouth is watering and the reason why your mouth is watering is because your brain was
listening about the lemon and it doesn't know the difference. Your brain mostly is quite happy
to imagine the lemon, pretend it's there and know at the same time that it can't be there
because there's nothing here.

Are you starting to see the importance of this? You see it's meant to do that but if someone
comes to me and they say Look I've got a medical problem..my mouth keeps watering.
And I say well, lets find out what you been think about. And they say What do mean you
want to know what I think about... What's that got to do with my mouth? Can you give me
some pills that will fix my mouth? And I say No no let's have a check here at what you
think about? And they say Lemons...so what! See their brain is working perfectly, your
mouth is meant to water if you sit there thinking about lemons all day. You only have to do it
for 30 seconds and it starts.

See some people come to me and they say I'm not sure if this NLP is going to work on me
because my Dr. says I've got a clinical condition...and the balance of chemicals in my body is
wrong. And I say well thats going to take us 30 seconds longer right there. I'm going to
have to charge you extra for that.

Because it only takes 30 seconds to change the chemicals in your body...right? And it doesn't
really matter that it's set to make you dribble or not...it depends on what happens next. This is

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really important to know.

So when I was in Bosnia I talked to people who were having nightmares and panic attacks
and so I ask them What do you think about all day? And they say ...the war...the worst
pieces...people being blown to bits around me...stuff like that. Well this means that their
brains working perfectly.
See what people do is...once they decide to see someone and fix this and if they go to a
psychotherapist (I'm trained as a psychotherapist myself) so I think its ok to say this...and the
therapist, what they sometimes do is they kind of help them to re-experience it...in the hope
that they'll understand it. And people somehow get the idea that they can think about horrible
experiences and they'll feel better.

This is nuts...because if you think about a lemon and your mouth doesn't water...there's
something wrong. It's meant to water... this is how you digest stuff. So if you think about the
war..it's not meant to feel good. The happy people in the world are not the people who go
around thinking about all the horrible stuff that happened and still smiling. Those people
they lock away ...that's just nuts!
This is really important to know because people over the last 100 years or so people have
been confused about this. They think you should be able to think about all the worst stuff
that's happened and still be happy! And that that would be a test to of whether you've healed
it, resolved it. Thats a test to see if you've broken the system..

When people are happy they think about the enjoyable things... and they let go of the other
stuff.
So what I want to do is show you how to run your brain the way happy people do and how to
run your brain the way successful people do. This is going to be useful for you if you have an
interest in the body and medicine and things...And it's going to be useful if you have an
interest in learning. It's going to be useful if you've got an interest in people, management,
teams, things like that.

Now what I'm going to do next is to get you to find someone who has come here for a
different purpose than you. That'll be anyone in the room by the way. And youre going to
find out 2 things from that person a) name b) purpose for being here. Now I have a friend in
Christchurch and he has an answer-phone, and when you phone him up it says Who are you
and what do you want? Most people spend their whole life answering these questions, and
you will have thirty seconds after the beep. And so thats what I want you to do here; just the
thirty second version, not the whole life story. Be quick.

Next part: after meeting 3 people chances are youcan you remember the name of one
person in this group. Now if you remembered one name easier than the others, that's very
Interesting. Like how did that happen? Was it the first person that you talked to? Did you
repeat their name a few times? Because if you can learn one name then you can learn all the
rest of the names right? You just repeat the same process for learning the others that you used
for the first one. Because part of how you learn things is to repeat them...your brain goes aah
we better remember this one if it happens again. This is an important thing to know! Another
really important thing for you to know is that maybe you have a very specific way of
remembering someones name. Like you think...ah I know someone who's got that name or I
saw a movie with somebody who had the same name...See how this happens...so if you want
to remember someones name you just need to think of some other person who's got the same

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name...right? And then remember it that way. Some people remember names because the
name sounds like the right name for the person. They say you know it just clicked, it just
sounded like the kind of name they would have. And so once you know how to do that, then
you listen carefully when people say their name, for the sound of it, to check that it sounds
like ...Some people say...it just felt right you know like this person just feels like a Richard or
a John...so if you know that you do it that way then... pay attention to how it feels when you
meet someone and learn their name. People do it in different ways and it's really interesting to
find that out.

So what were going to do before you sit down is I want to show you a little bit; you know I
said when I show you what NLP is and I explain to you what we are going to do over this
week, its mostly easy for me to explain it by getting you to do some stuff. And what I want
to do now is very briefly do something with you that makes sense of all those things I was
talking about. So can you move so that you have a bit of space around you, so you want to be
somewhere in the room where you have some space behind you as well as in front of you.
Now I know some of you will have done this exercise; were going to do a very simple thing.
Through this exercise you need to keep your feet in the same place. (Theyre on the end of
your legs there just checking, I know). And, now Im going to get you in a moment to take
your left hand now this is my right hand, I do know what Im doing but Im going to get
you to take your left hand and to turn around like this. Now, I said before that Im trained as a
nurse, but Im not planning to do any nursing here today, so Id like you to be careful when
you turn around. If theres someones head in the way then just move up over their head is the
best way. Dont try and go under it because never mind. So anyway, and also be careful of
yourself, and just go round to where it gets tight. When it gets tight, see where your arm is
pointed, see where youre pointing on the wall, and then, remembering where that is, come
back to the front. OK, so lift up your left hand, turn around to where it gets tight, see what
youre pointing at when its tightened, and remember that place, and then come back to the
front. Now, Im going to ask you now to do something very simple. Id like you to imagine
something. See when I tell people that Im trained as a psychotherapist often people say Ha,
so you help people to stop imagining things? and well, I used to do that but it got boring, so
mostly what I do is I help people to imagine more things, but more interesting things. So Id
like you to imagine that when you turned around your hand went about 10 centimetres
further; is that easy enough? So then youd be pointing at a slightly different place on the
wall. Now if you can imagine 10 then you can imagine 30 centimetres further; for people in
the place in the world and the time where I grew up thats about one foot. And so imagine
that you went around and you went around 30 centimetres further and it was easy, and your
body just flowed around. Imagine what that would feel like, and now youre seeing a
completely different place on the wall, and youd hear everyone else moving further of course
and I dont know what youd be saying to yourself. You might be surprised, you might say
Ah, I thought hed be doing something like that. And if you can imagine 30 you can
imagine 50. Right. Imagine when you turned around you went 50 centimetres further and it
was easy; your body just flowed around and now youre looking at a completely different
place. And now you might even be hearing other people going Wow stuff like that. Can
you imagine that. So now Id like you to take that same hand and find out how far you go
NOW. (laughs) Thats right!

Now, can I just check first of all; how many people went further? Now this is very interesting
not just because you went further, because of course we could have done that with some
exercise. But whats interesting is it was easy it was easy to go past the place where it got

38
tight the first time. And of course this is important because a lot of the people I work with if
Im teaching managers, if Im teaching sportspeople, one of the people I can talk about
because hes now an NLP trainer is Steve Gurney and he is a New Zealand sportsperson, and
hes written a book Lucky Legs partly about our work together and what he was doing
is when he was 40 years old, he was racing against people who were 20 years old and
winning. Now thats very interesting because theres no way he could build up his body to be
as fit as a 20 year olds so his advantage came from somewhere else. And so what it came
from is that he was incredibly good at doing this stuff where you get your body and your
brain to function together, which is this is the secret the way they were meant to. And so
by doing that he would get this competitive edge. Now if I showed him how to work harder
that would be crazy because sports people they really push; some of you are sportspeople
probably and you know that theyre really pushing themselves already. Its no use me
showing them how to work harder. I need to show them how to work easier and get better
results. Thats what I want to show you and thats what you did with that pointing exercise.
Now, of course when I got you to go around I told you a couple of things to imagine. I said
Imagine what youd see. and when I got you to imagine what you'd see... the visual area at
the back of the brain is active. The Visual area is where you make pictures in your brain, so
that area was lighting up when I had you make pictures in your brain.

And then at the top here is the kinesthetic area which is where you feel body sensations and
do movement stuff so when I had you imagine feeling like it flowed easily... the kinesthetic
part up here at the top of your brain lights up...in order to understand what I'm saying. And on
the side here is an Auditory area which is where when I had you imagine hearing people
moving or saying things...this area lights up. Ok now here's the 3 areas and they're all
connected Now there's an area where you talk to yourself...by the way it's ok to talk to
yourself...it's actually ok to answer back as well and a we've done the research and it's only
when someone is having a long standing unresolved argument that it's a problem...and then
they need couples counselling.

So what I did anyway was I had you activate several areas in the brain and so whats
happening is it's like switching on all the engines. And so if you were trying to get some
result with only a little part of your brain working then of course you don't get the same
effect...it would be like trying to run an airplane with only one of the engines going. So when
we switch on all the engines a lot more is possible.

And of course you have certain goals in your life, certain things you'd like to achieve...now
my question to you is...When you think about those goals do you think about them in this
way? Do you make pictures of achieving it? Do you talk to yourself about what it's
going to be like?
Do you feel what it will feel like to get there? And not just to be there but to actually get
there to flow easily there. Not just fantasizing about being there ...Do you get the difference
between the two? That's real important it turns out from the research. Not just to imagine
being there because people who do that, just sit home and imagine it. But to imagine getting
there which means doing the things... wow it's going to be so cool and I'm just going to flow
around to that goal.

And do you even hear the things you would hear if you were to achieve that? Because to the
extent that you do that is the extent you'll reach goals. And of course most of you will have an
idea how long for example that you're going to live a long and healthy life. You know you'll

39
think well in my family, my mom lived to __ my grandparents lived to__ And so you've got a
kind of a date possibly but why not move it on 10 years further on? You just have to imagine
doing the stuff that will get you 10 years further along. You know, like you keep yourself
moving and you do some kind of exercise that keeps your flexibility...and you eat the kind of
foods that help you keep going and so on.

So what we're going to do on this training is...a few things I've found that make it work more
effectively and one of them is to have permission to be learning stuff. Now that means, you
know those people you were talking to before...it means...you don't have to remember their
names..you can ask them again. It means it's ok not to know some things...thats what
learning is ok means alright? If learning is ok then it's ok to check. And that's how your brain
actually learns things so when people are very good at learning things, they are very good at
allowing themselves to check things. And theyre very good at allowing themselves to make
mistakes. Mistakes is how you get feedback. Theres a piece of research published just 2
weeks ago showing that when people make mistakes when theyre learning...they learn better
and faster. So we know when people are making mistakes while their learning, they learn
faster.

I'm a parent and a grandparent and when my son and I were first learning one new skill; Ice
Skating.
He was seven years old and so I'd never done it before...so I took us to this ice skating rink
and they put these things on our feet...It's hard to believe youre on this tiny piece of
metal...can you imagine the craziness of this thing and youre supposed to stand up...well you
know I could only just do that and so luckily around the sides of the rink there was a kind of a
hand rail, so I went to the hand rail and went around like that. Now my son...he had a whole
different learning style...he just kind of ran into the centre and then he fell over...he laughed
and got up and ran again and fell over laughed and got up. So about an hour later he was ice
skating, he could swirl around and he could do the whole thing...and I was getting a little
faster around the edge there. So the difference is he allowed himself to make mistakes. Now
I must say in my defense..he only had the distance to fall than me and I had a lot more to
lose if I made that same mistake but allowing yourself to make mistakes is how you learn
quicker. No mistakes=slow learning. So thats what I mean by Learning is OK. The other
side of it is the how far you fall thing... so to protect your safety you'll notice that if you
imagine something you get different results, not in 10 years or a year of therapy or
something but very, very quick. And so knowing that, you'll need to be a little careful about
how you do these things. I mentioned to you before we have this 5 minute allergy cure
process...and it really is a party trick you know like sometimes when I tell people well we
have this really quick process for curing phobias and stuff and if you read in the books they
say it takes about 5-10 minutes and that's a bit of an exaggeration...I found when I was
working in Bosnia and near Chechnya they have some really good phobias and it would
usually take us about 20 minutes. So we've got to be a little careful not to exaggerate these
things. But with the allergy cure it is only 5 minutes. And so ah you know there I am at a
party and someone will say What do you do? And I'll say NLP and they'll say can you show
us some of that? And I'll say yeah let me show you this party trick...got an allergy? One time I
had this client and she said I read about this allergy cure in a book and I used to have an
allergy to milk and now I've got an allergy to milk and to soy milk. And it's because she read
through the allergy process and at one point it says to think of something similar to the thing
you have an allergy of and she thought I like this step better here and she swapped the steps
around and instead of getting rid of her first allergy...she added another one. So really, what I

40
mean by the safety thing is...When I give you an exercise to do...you need to do it pretty
much like in the manual there or in the notes I gave you for this weekend. So that is really
quite important, to do things pretty much as you can in the way that they're described there,
because we know that way works. The time to be inventive and creative is when you've done
it a few times. So the timing thing is useful to know as well and we're going to start at
10;00am each day and lunch will be from 1.30 to 2.30 and there'll be a break way through
the morning and way through the afternoon and we will finish at 6 each day.

And I will start at 10am each day so if you have to arrive later well just know that we will
have started. And if you were here at 10 this morning...you'll know that some of the most
interesting stuff is said right at the beginning so you would be missing out.

Now this is a training where people are going to be thinking about how do you get results in
your life and I've already told you from the research we can reliably predict from any 5
minutes of conversation in a couple...we can reliably predict with 96% accuracy if they're
going to be together in 10 years or 12 years and 80% we can predict what year they are going
to split up (if they are going to). What that means is your going to be learning things that will
enhance your relationships...so I'll show you how to do something different in each of those 5
minutes. One of the things by the way, it turns out that in relationships that are going to
survive...they say positive things to each other..like how was your day and thank you for
doing such n such...they say more positive stuff to each other. Like not gee youre the most
amazing person in the world but just the simple stuff...and actually as it turns out they say
about 100 more words like that per day...which takes about 30 seconds at this speed of
talking. It's a hell of an investment but you know but what are you going to do if you want the
thing to survive you know I guess you just gotta put in the time. So yeah it takes about 30
seconds per day extra...to make it work.

If we're going to talk about things like that though, someone might want to say something
like hey this happens with my boss and I and that happens with my friend and I etc...and
usually people don't tell you personal information like that in a large group yeah? You don't
usually walk up to a stranger on the street and say excuse me I've got this challenge with
communicating with my father and ah...so if somebody does it here then you need to
remember ah ok they're doing it because it's here and it's kinda like talking to a friend. So if
it's like talking to a close friend...with close friends you have a sort of an understanding that if
they tell you something about personal information...you won't go out and pass it on...you'll
check with them...otherwise they wouldn't be your friend for long. So, thats called
confidentiality in fancy terms. So what I mean by that is treat the people here the same way
you treat any good friend and if they tell you some personal information then respect that
they just told you and you even need to check with them before you mention it a group here
and certainly before you mention it somewhere else. Now what I find is that if people follow
these 4 things..then we have a lot more fun and it works better. So I guess there's some other
things that's useful to know like it's good to keep your cell phone on silent.. is it on silent? So
turn to the person beside you and check...is there anything else I need like that...that you
wanted clarified or that it's important for you to have added to this list so that you can relax
and enjoy learning. Just turn to the person beside you and check...Is that clear? Is there
anything else we'd need to add.

So, we're going to be learning somethings about NLP and I want to explain a little more
about what NLP is...Now in your notes and I'm going to be using the notes in this blue folder

41
and the stuff that says NLP The Key's to Success...and right here on page 2 is the first thing
where you know I haven't written everything in the notes and. And look down the page and
you'll see I missed out some really important bits... and if you could just fill in these parts...So
the Neuro part ... means the brain...but I forgot to add these parts so if you could just add
Linguistic refers to language and Programming just refers to change. NLP started being
developed in the 1970's when everyone thought programming was totally a cool word
because it was new you know. So the language part refers most of all to the languages of the
brain. And there are several different areas of the brain that understand different things as I
mentioned when I drew that diagram before so there's the visual area, the auditory area, the
kinesthetic area and then there's the area where you have speech. And the area where you
actually construct speech is on a specific side of the brain...I'm right handed so it's on the left
side of my brain mostly. And some of you will know that if someone has a stroke on the left
side of the brain in that area then it can affect their speech. So it's a very specific area that
handles speech. And thats another whole language apart from kinesthetic, visual and
auditory. And of course a little deeper in the brain there are some languages taste and
smell...taste has a fancy name as well; gustatory and smell; olfactory. So the languages of the
brain: the winners are visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory which is smell, gustatory which
is taste and speech which for some reason or other we call auditory digital. So thats the 6
languages.

And what happens is every experience you have is translated in your brain into these 6
senses. So of course there's much more happening in the world than these 6 senses, like bats
can fly around a room using their entirely different sense by detecting the echo's and dolphins
and whales use the same kind of sense. So there's all sorts of other possible pieces of
information around us but our human brain translates everything into these sensory systems.
So every experience when you think about it is one of these. And so when people have one of
those profound experiences...like a profound spiritual experience often they don't know how
to explain it because the only thing you can explain is this stuff. So they say there was
heavenly music playing...but they don't quite mean that...there was light everywhere..not
ordinary light etc...It's because they can only explain it in those terms. Your brain understands
the world in these 6 ways.

So when people achieve success they use these different areas in the brain in different ways.
Now these are not the only important areas in the brain ...and when I'm drawing pictures of
the brain it's the entertainment section ...you're not going to have to learn this you
know...you're going to be a neuro surgeon or something...you're not going to operate on
someones brain and find all these things...

So just treat it as being fun. Do you see there's an area of auditory digital or self talk that's
right between V A K it's got a fancy name technically in English it's called the angular gyrus
but we'll just call it the bit in the middle and it's really important I'll show you why...now
there's an experiment and it's been done in many different cultures around the world and what
they do is they show people these 2 pictures and they tell them a funny story about it...they
tell them these are 2 letters of the alphabet from the planet Mars wooo...what people often
don't realize is thousands of years ago the Martian people came here to earth and they left
their alphabet hidden in our DNA so if you're really intuitive you can contact this Martian
alphabet again. Now one of these letters in the M alphabet is called Booba and one of them is
called Kiki So I want you to go inside and access your intuition and check inside would you
be able to tell which one is Booba and which one might be Kiki? Ok now theres no wrong or

42
right answers here cause we're just experimenting here. How many people here think this one
is Booba? Ok now how many people think this one is Booba? See this one is a very popular
choice... and it doesn't really matter which one you chose. The result in every culture we do
this in is 95% of people think this one is Booba and that one is Kiki and 5% think it's the
other way around. But what's interesting is that you were able to answer this ridiculous
question because the sounds Booba and Kiki have nothing to do with the pictures here. The
only reason that they can have something to do with the pictures here is because you have a
functioning area of the brain here between VAK and it looks at the picture and it translates it
into auditory or it hears the sound and translates it into visual. It's like a transformer changing
one form of electricity into another. My little computer over there comes with me all over the
world and I can use it because that that little black thing on the side there is a transformer and
it converts to what ever power I'm using. This area does it for your brain it translates from
one to the other; and why is that important for talk - you see it's one of the areas that
produces speech. And why it's important is this now listen to these 2 words in English one of
them is a word for something small and one of them is a word for something very large
so...teeny weeny do you hear what it sounds like? enormous can you hear what that sounds
like? Now listen to these words in French un petit peu...enorme grande can you hear the
difference? One of them sounds big and one of them sounds small. Listen to these 2 words in
Russian malinki...agromoni Can you hear which one of them is going to be big? It's obvious.
So you not only speak Martian, hehe you speak French and Russian. I mean the whole world
is like this have a listen to this in a Pacific Island language very small iti iti can you hear?
Roa nui - can you hear it it's bigger than iti iti. They sound like it when you've got this
functioning area of the brain translating from one to the other. So this has been very
important in the production of language. All human languages use this area in the brain...so
you can see something and you have a word come to your mind for it....so you've gotta be
able to see something and translate it into a word. And that happens in the bit in the middle so
it often happens due to things like this the Booba and Kiki phenomena. So this area it turns
out is incredibly important for all communication as well cause when your communicating
and I'll show you this tomorrow...when you're communicating this area of the brain that gets
you to know what's actually going on with someone else...that's why it was used first used by
your brain for language even before you knew all the words. Let me show you what I mean, I
travel around the world a lot in my job [sigh] yeah, I really love the airports...it's great being
stuck in a airport for 8 hrs [note: R say's this very slow and dragged out. R back to normal
asks] Now 93% of the information you just got was that I hate being stuck in the
airport...right? And it doesn't matter that I said in technical words that I love it because all the
other kinds of information the tone of voice and the body language etc. what happens is you
see me going like this and you translate it into a feeling inside your body...what would it feel
like if you were going like this?.. and when you feel that inside your body...thats the
understanding you get from what I said...Does that make sense? So this area is crucial for
communication. And here's what happens, do you remember I said John Gottman would
study any 5 min. of a conversation between 2 people and when one person went like this
[facial expression ] the other person would be showing signs that they were feeling what it
felt like... even if they were having an argument. So they would also start shaking their head
or they would also touch their head like this...And when he checked their heart rate and blood
pressure, and measure their brain waves then he would see that they would be experiencing
what the other one was also describing. And when that area isn't working..this area in the
middle here, then the other person couldn't understand...so one person could be really
annoyed really upset and they say I really hate this...this has got to change and the other
person would be [ sigh ] you know just kinda look'n around at something else...and this

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doesn't work...this isn't good for a relationship. It's a 96% predictor that the relationship is
going to be over. I'm going to show you something else in a minute...because Gottman found
out not only could he predict...by the way it took him 30 years to work out all this stuff...he
then found out 1000's of couples altogether...he not only found that out but he found out that
he could show people what works...then they would just do it. They didn't complain and say
ah no I've got some deep seated problem that prohibits me from having close relationships
with people...they'd just go ah ok so if I just nod in time with the other person, what a funny
idea, ah ok if you say so...and then they'd do it and then their relationship would survive. It's
freaky...you just need to know how to run your brain. So this area is really important and
I'm going to come back to this is a lot on the weekend.

And another area that's pretty important here in the front is the area that people set goals. And
when this area gets damaged they can get all kinds of ideas but they don't actually do them,
they don't set goals. It doesn't stop them from fantasizing, it stops them from actually doing
stuff. This is really important to understand when people achieve things they don't just
fantasize. They imagine doing the things to get there...and that's makes it work. This was the
1st area of the brain that was understood, and it was understood because of a curious thing in
America. There was this poor guy in America, Phineas Gage was his name and he was
working on the railways in America and there was an accident with an explosion...they used
to use dynamite to blow up places where they were putting the railways through and a piece
of metal went through the front of his brain and he survived ok like he was pretty much able
to do all the things he usually could do except he'd suddenly lost the ability to plan and to get
things happening in his life. So he had all kinds of fantasies about what he was going to
do...yeah I'm going to save my money, I'm going to buy a house, all sorts of fantasies but no
goal achievement. And it was this part here in his brain that was damaged. Before the
accident he was a regular planning sort of a guy and he went ahead and could get things done.
So this is an incredibly important part of the brain. So I'm gonna show you how to run each
of these areas.

Now, there is another way of defining NLP and it's the way that's at the start of that page
2...and that NLP is about being curious about what works. And when the developers of NLP
when they were first developing NLP they studied a lot of famous communicators and
people who were good at communicating with other people and one of the things they noticed
was these people were very curious about other human beings...that these people did not have
the attitude of ...I know everything there is to know. They actually would always be interested
like every new person that came in they'd be like wow how did you do that? See some people
have phobias you know... now when someone has a phobia about something, lets say spiders
then every time they see a picture of spiders then their heart starts pounding and stuff like that
and they remember to do this every time...Now this is very impressive cause well you
know...I mean you can ask my partner Julia cause I have trouble remembering to put the
rubbish out and that's only once a week. So for someone to remember every time they see a
spider to have a panic attack...that is impressive memory! And the developers of NLP would
be curious like how do you do that? How do they remember? What if they forgot and one
time they saw a spider and thought it looked cute or something? Cause they kinda are and last
year we went to the Amazon and the guy who was taking us through the forest there stopped
by the trunk of a tree and he started tapping on it with a stick and out crawls this spider the
size of my hand you know and he started stroking it...and I'm like what the? Yeah he said
their very cute their kinda like pussy cats actually, they're all fluffy... tarantulas So what if
someone forgot their phobia and actually did something like that and thought it was like a

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pussy cat and cute? But no they don't...they remember. So it's always really interesting to find
out how do people do the things they do? You know having a phobia is a skill just as much as
having a winning company around the world or something, it's just a matter of knowing how
you do it.

Now I want you to know... after the break I'm going to tell you how NLP began. So we're
going to have a break fairly soon. And when I tell you about that...the thing is that ah...there's
something thats really important to know about when I'm talking, I know I said it was
entertainment but I'm kinda choosing the words I use. Let me give you an example of how
I'm choosing what I say...We have a thing in NLP that we know about the brain...the brain
apart from the goal setting part...of course the brain doesn't know whats real or isn't
real...remember at the start of the morning I was describing a lemon and I said ah we had a
lemon tree and if you cut open a lemon...do you remember this? And you know it shoots this
fine mist of juice and if you bite into a slice of lemon it squirts right into the back of your
tongue...and as I describe that your mouth starts to water. And so of course most of your
brain, it just listens to what I'm saying and embodies it. And it's only the goal setting part that
says wait a minute has this really happened yet? See do you see why thats really
important...because other wise you'd just fantasize lemons and they'd think they had
one...They'd fantasize dinner and they'd think they'd eaten it. And the human species would
die out very quickly. So the goal setting part is there to make sure that you actually do the
things to get you the food. That's a very useful thing. And this part is what we call our
conscious mind. And the rest of it is kinda unconscious. Now the unconscious mind doesn't
really make a distinction in the same way as the conscious mind. For example if I say to
you...Don't think of a blue tree...this is very important...Keep not thinking of a blue tree..Oh
and especially don't think of a big bright blue tree...don't see that...And what ever you do
don't see it flashing...What are you thinking of by the way? A blue tree? Yeah thats because
as far as your unconscious mind is concerned in order to understand what I'm saying, it has to
think about it...and then to not think about it, it has to cross it out, change the color,
something like that. So once I know your brain works like that...I can use it. But see that's
interesting because in your childhood not everyone knew how to run your brain. Your parents
didn't get the users manual. You know they unpacked you from the box...where ever babies
come from and said wow I wonder how it works? and you were so entertaining that they
forgot to read the book. And so you see part of the users manual says...If you tell children not
to do this and that...they tend to do it...because they've got very little functioning at the front
of the brain here. It's actually around age 14 that this starts being functional at the front. So
kids...have you noticed this...like 3 year olds have a great difficulty with goal setting You
know...what's wrong with them? It's called (myalinisation) of the brain...it just means fixing
of all the connections in the front of the brain, it hasn't happened yet. So this is kind of
interesting cause sometimes people were speaking to you and they said don't make mistakes
which is crazy anyway because mistakes are how you learn stuff. You know like how could
you have a school system that worked if you didn't.....don't let me go there! Or they said
things like...Don't be stupid. And of course what they meant was...Be intelligent. Don't break
that! And what they meant was...Be careful, look after that. Do you remember that? Of
course what that means is you can go back and change all those child hood memories...So
now you understand what they meant, right? It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
See this is a really interesting thing to understand this little thing about language about...Don't
do this....Then you can use it. For example...In front of that... you know that blue tree...Don't
think of that...And don't think of the white fence in front of it. Oh and especially don't think
of the man thats walking in front of the fence, you know the man with the sign. The sign that

45
says...You are an excellent learner now. See when I understand that you unconscious mind
does it in order to understand what I'm saying, then I can say something like that, your
unconscious mind will do it and your conscious mind knows that I'm only kidding. And
thats the way I'd like it...so your conscious mind can relax and your unconscious mind can
go ahead and do stuff...And learn...Easily...Now So I will, I just need to warn you especially
sometimes Richard will sit down there and he will be talking about how NLP was developed
and stuff like that and he's already doing things...and he's choosing his words very
carefully...sounds like he's just rambling and of course sometimes he is...but he's rambling in
a rather precise way.

I record myself teaching by the way because I'm interested in finding out what I said. And
sometimes I listen through them and sometimes I listen through the CD's at the back of the
room there and I think gee that was a good idea to say that... I must remember to say that next
time...and I hope I can remember to say of this stuff next time. Because mostly what I'm
doing is not planned...consciously. And thats true when your doing something that you know
how to do easily...right? Like if you know how to drive your car you don't plan when your
going to change gear or when your going to turn a corner or when your going to brake etc. It's
just happening because you know how to do it. And so what I want to do is show you how to
get that level of fluency with a lot of things. So you don't need to think about...cause there's
much more interesting things to think about. When I'm running a training I'm mostly
thinking about the people in the training room by the way. That's much more interesting than
just the content of what I'm saying. And in order to do that I need to know the content of
course...so I can put my attention on what youre doing. Otherwise have you noticed
sometimes teachers...they're really interested in what their saying and everyone else is falling
asleep. This is not such a good thing...I mean it's fine for teaching but it's not a good sign for
learning.

So learning...now the development of NLP began in the 1970's officially. The term Neuro-
linguistic comes from the 1930's. Comes from a man named Albert Korzybski and he was
studying language and the effect on the brain back in the 1930's...Polish guy. So in the 1970's
some people in America John Grinder, Richard Bandler, Leslie Cameron, Judith Delozier,
Robert Dilts,...a whole group of people started developing this thing. And at first they were
interested in studying people who were successful.

They first of all studied people who were psychotherapists because that was really popular
thing in California at that time and they were at the University of California at this time. So,
there was a guy there they studied whose name was Fritz Perls and he was the developer of a
kind of therapy called Gestalt. And it was really new and people would come and see him and
within an hour something would really change in their life and the people would say Wow
everything seems really different. And then they studied a woman called Virginia Satir.
Now Virginia was the developer of what would now be called Family Therapy...and so she is
often referred to as the Grandmother of Family Therapy. And so they studied what she was
doing and families would be arguing with each other and they'd come and see Virginia and
she would help them clarify what they were saying and within an hour they'd be
saying...Wow we didn't realize that there is so much love in this family and we were always
talking about what was wrong. and so it would change very quickly.
And then they studied a guy named Milton Erickson and Milton was a Medical Practitioner
and a he would work mainly by talking to people and he would work mainly using something
he would call Hypnotherapy. But he didn't do any official trance type thing...so you know he

46
didn't use words like Youre getting sleepy or anything like that. He just talked so it affected
their unconscious mind. So when I say Hypnotherapy...I have a Doctorate in Hypnotherapy
but I don't mean that I say stuff like... Your getting sleepy or wave watches in front of people,
I don't do stuff like that. I just talk so their unconscious understands. The brain is
extraordinary...when I described the lemon...it responds without you having to consciously
plan it. Your brain organizes how you breathe...right now your breathing is slower than if you
walked up those stairs back there...You don't have to think about it...it just happens for you all
by its self, you don't have to think about it.

And of course when people want to change things in their life...when they want to enjoy their
life more...when they want to achieve things more easily...when they want to let go of old
unhelpful patterns...then that kind of change doesn't happen easily...consciously. Otherwise if
you've ever known somebody who you didn't like the way they were doing things, you could
just say...Don't be such a jerk and they would change you know,. But it doesn't happen quite
that way. Because the part of the brain you need to communicate with, the part of the brain
that generates the kind of behavior that makes you call them a jerk...That part is not
conscious and thats why it happens so automatically. So they say stuff and they don't even
know they're going to say it. So thats the same whether your being an NLP Practitioner or a
jerk....thats a whole other profession. And so it's important for you to understand that if you
want to help someone change (and that means you) it's not your conscious brain that you
want to communicate with. Now your conscious brain is...we have a term we use in NZ
jargon I'm going to use...your conscious mind is what we call a Bullshit Detector. Now this
means it detects lie's and that's all it does. You remember that when I describe lemons and
your mouth just goes ahead and it waters...so as far as most of your brain is concerned you've
already got the lemon, it's already happening. But your conscious mind does this thing it's
called Bullshit Detecting it checks...Is there really a lemon here or did we just get fooled into
thinking about it. And this is a very important skill. It's just not the skill that creates
relationships...right? When people in relationships have their Bullshit Detector turned on all
the time...They don't have good relationships and they don't have long relationships because
they're constantly thinking is this right or is this wrong and they're disagreeing with the other
person all the time. And it turns out that isn't the best way to build relationships. And so
what actually works in a relationship is to trust your unconscious way of doing things. Now if
you've got a very well developed conscious mind...a very developed Bullshit Detector then
this is going to take a bit of getting use to turning it off again. See it's really important if
youre planning something if youre planning to achieve something in your life that you
detect whether you've got it or not...right? Like planning a meal or planning to earn
$100,000.00 this year or whatever then it's really good to have this conscious mind
functioning. But to enjoy a really beautiful sunset it's not a smart idea to have that thing
turned on...you know that Bullshit Detection thing. To enjoy a bath and just relax and enjoy
lying in the bath and listen to beautiful music...it's not smart to have it turned on. And this is
actually something by the way that musicians find specifically about music...They find they
get their Bullshit Detector turned on when they're listening to music...and they'll be
unpacking it and thinking ah that was a little bit fast there and ah that instrument there I'd
replace it with ---I'd just tweak it about there and stuff like that so they don't enjoy music
anymore. And they actually need to learn how to do it again.

So theres somethings in life that work consciously and some things that work unconsciously.
And Milton Erickson...remember I came into this when I was saying that Milton Erickson
was a guy who works with the unconscious mind as a Dr. Cause a lot of things that happen in

47
your body of course happen because your unconscious mind thinks thats supposed to be
happening.
And so after studying these therapists the developers of NLP looked for where are other
people being successful in their lives and they studied Sales People. They studied a guy who
had been working at IBM and at that time IBM was the worlds largest computer company
and this guy had sold more computers for IBM than anyone else for 5 years running. So they
studied how he did it. And it turns out that sales people who are successful ...like I've trained
sales people before like I teach with the NZ Retailers Association and Sales organizations
overseas and one of the interesting things we find from the research is that...Sales people who
are really successful don't think so much about whether they're going to sell this thing...as
they do about whether they can meet the needs of the person who their talking to. We just
know this from the research.

So good Sales People think...How is what I've got going to help this person? And if it's
not...then they go and find someone else. Because why waste their time trying to get
somebody to want something they don't want to get. Like there are over 6 billion of us on
this planet and so theres a lot of other alternatives. So...anyway...they studied Sales People
and then they studied Managers and they studied Teachers and in each case they could
identify what do people do when they're successful in this field. But then they noticed
something else...They noticed that people who were successful in any field had some things
that they all do...And one of the things that they all do is that they all have this immense
curiosity.

And another thing that they all do is that they all tell stories. Now that sounds very strange!
Right?
Literally they tell stories. So good Sales People tell stories... they'll say...You know I had a
customer who came in last week and they bought this and they came in the other day and
their telling us they use it every day etc. And that story would work much better than just
giving the facts. And this is not just in Sales...it's true in all the great Religious and Spiritual
practices around the world. If you look at everything from the parables of Jesus and the
teaching stories of Sufi and the stories in Zen Buddhism and everywhere I go around the
world there are stories used to teach profound spiritual truths. And the reason for that is quite
simple because as you listen to the story...your Bullshit Detector has difficulty because ...The
story isn't telling you...to do this...It's just a story. And in order to understand the story...your
unconscious mind rehearses through the story and it thinks it's real.
This is why you go to movies and ...Have you ever watched a movie and some person is
about to walk out and...your thinking oh no! Something bad is about to happen...and your
thinking no, no don't go there! And your heart is pounding!...But youre not in the story at all
and your Bullshit Detector is turned off for a minute. I mean your heart pounds even though
you say to yourself...it's ok I'm just in a movie theatre...it's ok I could walk outside at any
time ...But your heart is still pounding. And that means your Bullshit detector is not
adequately assessing is this real or this just a movie. Now if you've ever had that experience
then you've had the experience the people who tell stories wanted to give. And that is...that
when you listen to the story...you get into it. And so to give you an example from here...One
time Jesus was teaching and some guy says...How come you always teach in stories? And he
quoted something from an older prophet, he said...Well I teach in stories that those with eyes
to see will see (watch the diagram) those who have ears to hear will hear and those who have
a heart will turn. So basically what he said was...I teach in pictures for the visual people and
the auditory people will get the sounds and the kinesthetic people get the feelings in their

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body.

Keys to Success CD 1B

Now Milton Erickson used to tell stories when he was helping people change. And he said
stories create curiosity. When youre listening to a story you want to find out what happens
next. Right?
And he said one time when he was a child a good example of this curiosity happened. And he
was living in the country and so they were living in America in the country and he had to
walk a long way to school each day and he was coming home from school one day and he
saw a horse beside the road. And so he immediately was thinking I wonder whose horse this
is and it had been tied up and it had a halter around its neck and so it had broken loose from
where it had been tied up. And so he didn't know the horse and so he knew it didn't come
from one of his immediate neighbors. So he climbed on the horse and pulled it out onto the
road. Now as soon as the horse got out on the road...it started walking down the road in one
direction and then it came to a corner. When it came to the corner it turned right. So the horse
seemed to know where it was going. And every so often the horse would wander off to the
side of the road cause it spotted some grass and it would wonder off the road and start eating.
And Milton would pull it back onto the road. And so the next corner it turned left and after
about 3 miles (5 kilometers or something) they eventually came to a place where instead of
walking down the road the horse actually turned onto a pathway and into a driveway and it
followed the driveway to the back of a house. Now Milton thought wow now I'm going to
learn something. And this is what I mean by curiosity...I mean like really wanting to know.
You know? And a guy came out of the house and Milton thought wow...I wonder whats
going to happen next.

And when Milton told stories it was this sort of thing that was really important because to
learn...Your brain needs to be curious. If your brain thinks it knows everything...Then it kind
of switches off learning a bit. So if I want you to learn stuff then I need you to get curios
about some of the stories. And Milton...he would sometimes not quite finish stories because
he knew it would keep people curios...so their brain was still learning. You know the kind of
curiosity I mean...I don't just mean a little bit of curiosity...I mean the sort of curiosity
that ...Do you remember when you were young and was there a time when people gave
presents in your family? Around the world this happens at different times of the year and
where I come from in NZ there was Christmas time and we do this Christmas tree thing and
under the tree would be these presents but you weren't allowed to open them for some reason
until December 25th...it was a rule. And there would be some presents under there with my
name on them and man I wanted to know what was in them and I'd be in there feeling them
and shaking them and trying to work out what was in them...but we weren't allowed to open
them until December 25th. And man that feeling of curiosity !@#$%^&!!! That's what I
mean by curiosity...that feeling, to have that feeling again. You see NLP is all about
(opening the present) finding out what's inside...Now.

Now actually...this curiosity... there's this really cool story about it in one of the earlier NLP
books.
There's this guy and he and he's working for a company and the company moves to a larger
city. It would be kind of like living in Palmerston North and moving to
Wellington...something like that. For those of you who don't know, Palmerston North is
smaller than Wellington. So lets say he lives in Palmerston North and he was offered the

49
choice to move with the Company to Wellington and have his job or stay and find another
one. So he decided to move and the Company gives the staff one of those serviced
apartments to live in temporarily until they can find something they like. So he's living in
one of those serviced apartments in the city here and he arrived by taxi of course - do you fly
from PN ? No. So he arrived from the airport here in the taxi and he was talking with the taxi
driver on the way in (taxi drivers are very interesting people to talk to anyway) to find out a
little bit about the place and (taxi drivers are often new to the place also, have you noticed
that?) So this guy was talking to the taxi driver and he says to the driver, I'm from Palmerston
North what are the people like in Wellington? And the driver said well what are the people
like in Palmerston North? And he says haa, sigh, well Palmerston North it's kind of small
enough place and there aren't so many people so after a while you start to feel like you know
a lot of the people. And well you know what it's like when people get to know you they start
to sigh talk behind peoples back and stuff like that. I didn't have many friends really and sigh
I don't know...it just didn't seem like a very friendly place.

Oh thats a shame, sigh, said the taxi driver cause thats the way I think you'll probably find
Wellington as well. So the guy's a bit disappointed with this and he goes into the little
apartment there. Anyway he's looking out the window the next morning and he sees a taxi
pulling up and he sees 2 people getting out of the taxi. One of them is woman who's working
for the same Company and she's staying in an apartment and she's moved to Wellington as
well, and the other one is the taxi driver, and it was the same taxi driver...so he thinks, I'll go
down and say hello to this woman, he doesn't really know her that well but politeness and
all...So he goes down and as he's walking over to her and as he gets closer he can hear her
talking to the driver...and she says What are people like in Wellington? And immediately
the guy gets has this feeling... he thinks I know what he said to me...but I wonder what he's
going to say to her? - you know I wonder if he's got one story for me and one story for her,
you know? Sort of thing? He really wants to know. And thats what I mean by curiosity. Like
not just expecting because it was a certain way one time that its always going to be the same
way.

Now in NLP...the basic idea then, is that NLP is not just a set of techniques, Like a
technique for curing phobias and a technique for fixing allergies ah a technique for this and
that like for remembering things easier, stuff like that. What NLP is more...is this attitude of
curiosity. And from that comes this comes the process of finding out how does someone do
something, whats going on in someone else?

And being able to understand that...being able to then work out how you could do things that
you want to do yourself. And so...you need to know that in any field that you study, there are
some basic principles. [speed ^] Like in mathematics for example there are some basic
principles that make mathematics work and if you wanted to understand mathematics you
really gotta understand them. In Western logic (I knew some of you thought that was the only
kind of logic) but, ha ha, Like I teach a bit in China a Japan like about a 1/3 of the year and
ah...it's a very interesting thing...see in Western logic there is this a basic presupposition...that
either A=B...you know if there is 2 things whatever they are like eg. Numbers...either A is the
same as B or A does not = B...But A cant both at the same time =B and not = B at the same
time. And this is very important when youre working something out mathematically.
Because if you find that A=B then you now it doesn't not = it...do you get that...it's so
fundamentally obvious that you just took it for granted but it's the complete opposite of the
East Asian way of thinking...the complete opposite. And here's why...you see this belt here

50
this is the symbol used in East Asia to symbolize the exact opposite of that theory (a belt
with a yin-yang symbol ). And here's what it's like ok...right now it's day time right? Now
in Western terms we'd say it's day time...now=day time therefore it can't =night ... But
actually right now by my watch it's about 12:12 which means - I don't know when the middle
of the day is exactly - but it's not quite the middle of the day, and so it's got a little bit of night
time in it right?
And there was only this infinitesimally moment when it was on the edge. So always the day
has some night time in it. The only time when this is true is in your theories...this is what they
say in East Asia. And in your theory it is distinct; either it's black or it's white. But in
reality...it's never like that. In reality things always have a little of their opposite in them...(the
little black bit in the middle of the white and the little white bit in the middle of the black)
one always has a little bit of the other thing inside of it. And that way of thinking says this is
just a way of doing mathematics...don't confuse it with reality. Because in reality when youre
working with people...they've always got a little bit of the other going on inside of them. So
yeah theyre enthusiastic and a little bit cautious or yeah theyre cautious and a little bit
curious.

So this is an important presupposition if you're using mathematics...but it's not very useful in
relationships. Otherwise you'd think when someone's annoyed with you that they don't love
you anymore. And actually it might be they love you so much that they'd be willing to say
stuff that otherwise they'd be frightened to tell you...do you get that? See I told you before
that mostly in relationships agreeing with people is important but if you only agree with other
people without a little bit of this other thing in it...well that doesn't work either.

So now why I'm saying this is because in NLP as well, there are some things that are
presupposed...I'm not saying that they're real...I'm saying that they make NLP work.

The same way as this A either equals B or doesnt equal B principle makes mathematics
work. If you don't have this understanding...you can't make mathematics work. And in the
same way if you want to use NLP then you need to know the presuppositions it's built on.
Now the 1st basic presupposition in NLP...it's written like this... The Map Is Not The Territory.
And thats the way that famous man Alfred Korzybski wrote it. It goes kinda like
this...Information comes into your brain through the senses...from the outside world or the
territory around you and what you do inside is make a map of it, you make a model of whats
going on in the outside world. So inside your head you are going to have a map...or another
fancy term we use in NLP is...you make internal representations, pictures, sounds, feelings,
about whats going on.

But see there's something going on in the middle [this diagram is in your book by the way]
And the thing in the middle is called filtering. The filters have got to be there cause otherwise
there's too much information coming in to your brain. See I mentioned before that your
unconscious mind knows when to change your breathing but you haven't been thinking about
it since I mentioned it. And so whats been happening is your breathings been carrying on
and you can pay attention to it but that would be a waste of valuable real estate up there so
whats actually happening is your thinking about other things.

And so your brain filters it out..it deletes things. Like you can pay attention to the
temperature of your hands...if it was too cold like before, you could be aware of it however if
it's a more comfortable temperature you just pay attention to something else. Does this make

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sense? So one of the filters is deleting things. Now another filter that you have is
generalizing things...it's almost the opposite. Like you see this object here...well if you saw
one of these when you came in the room you...you knew immediately that you could do this
[chair/sit] demo. So the way that you do that though is you generalize cause you've seen a lot
of these things in the past so you don't need to look at it and go [demo testing out the chair]
son of a gun...I wonder what this thing is [chair]. figuring out what it is and what you can
do with it. You don't need to do all that right? And thats what we mean by generalizing and
sometimes that's not such a good thing to do all the time right? Cause occasionally you have
sat down in one of these things and it has fallen over right? So in the same way, deleting
isn't always a good idea either. There are some people who delete the fact that other people
love them. Sometimes because they've generalized that if they're annoyed at them then that
must mean they must not love them. So that's quite important to notice that deleting and
generalizing are filters and have advantages that are important and that they are not always
useful.
Now there's another type of filter and it's called Distorting and it's when you kinda alter the
meaning of something. An example of distorting I showed you in the brain is that you listen
to what someone is saying and you think this is what it must feel like inside them. So you
think you now know how it feels inside. But all you know actually is what you heard. Your
brain altered it, distorted it, and changed it into another form. So you may not be exactly
right....So the filters do all these 3 things.
(you don't have to learn this you know...its just entertainment).

So this is something that happens so regularly that you may not have noticed how much it has
been happening. What I'm going to do is I'm going to give you an example of it...and we're
going to take the English word education...now what we're doing here is the process of
education right? And you know what I mean by the word education right? So what I'd like
you to do somewhere in your book where you've got a little space...I'm going to get you to
write down between 3-6 words that means something similar to the word education (since
you know what it means) Your aim is to not show anyone else what it is that your writing 3-6
words that are similar. Now in a minute I'm going to get you into a group of 6 people...OK
now this is going to be the only time in the course where we're going to have a little bit of a
competition. Your group is going to give itself one point for every word that every member in
the group has the same, got that? OK so lets see how many points you got. [The groups
report 1 or 0 points results: shocked laughs etc.] You do know what education means don't
you?

OK so most of the groups either got 0 or 1 right? And we can pretty much predict the same
result where ever we go...and I can pretty safely guess the one word you got 6 times was
Learning right?
This is an interesting thing isn't it? Because each of you think you know the meaning of
education.
And you do but...what you think is different than everyone else in this room...it's not quite the
same.
And so the map you have inside your head of this one word education is different to each
other persons. And of course I've said many words this morning...and each of them you've
taken slightly differently.

And so you are in your own training...I hope you appreciate how much work I've put into this
training for you because no one else is getting quite the same thing as your getting...you

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know.
So, your map is never quite the same as the territory. Let's all come back to the main group.
Now this is quite important as a presupposition of NLP. And this is even true by the way
where you know how people sometimes say 'But there is an absolute truth.' like some people
believe there is an absolute truth in the universe and some don't...and it doesn't really matter
because 'The Map is still Never the Same as The Absolute Truth'. I had a Christian guy who
was on one of my trainings and he said But I do have a map thats an absolute map; you
know I've got The Book: The Bible, and the Bible is the absolute truth. And so I said if you
brought in a 1000 Christian teachers...would they all agree with your interpretation of the
Bible? And he said of course they would if they were all real Christians. Which of course
means they'd all agree if they all agreed with me. Just because you've got a book doesn't
mean that you've got a map because your map of the book is going to be different than
everyone else's map of the book. So THE MAP IS NOT THE SAME AS THE TERRITORY!

Now this idea is pretty important in NLP and here are some of the implications of it. When
you talk to someone else and they don't respond the way you'd expect...it's useful to
understand they have a different map. What I mean by a map is...let's say I'm going to a large
city...lets say Tokyo - when I'm there I use 2 maps. One is a street map and one is a subway
map. They are not the same at all. Things are in different places; like they don't match up at
all. They're both useful but they get you different results. If you want to get across from one
side of Tokyo to the other...then the street map is almost useless...You really want the subway
map cause it would take just so long to get there by streets and you'd have to work out ...it's
too complex! So the subway map is the one you want. But if you want to find a particular
building then you really want to use a street map. And so it's the same as the maps that
individual human beings have, each persons map gets them specific results. I'm not saying
that every map is as good as every other map...it depends on what result you want. If you
want to get across the city...then the street map is not as good as the subway map. But lets
not confuse it, I'm not saying that one map is more real...because they're not...they are both
just maps.
And so with responses it's like this...the way the person responds tells me what their map of
what I did was. There's a trainer in Australia his name is Marvin Oka and he's a Japanese
guy originally, and he tells the story about a woman who's a friend of his and she bought a
kitten. And she says to him I bought this kitten 2 weeks ago and the 1st day was fine...I was
putting some jelly meat in its dish and the kitten came over and it ate the meat which is what I
expected. But the 2nd day I was putting the meat into its dish and the cat rushed over and it put
its head under the spoon and it got the sticky stuff off the spoon all through its fur. Can you
imagine what it's like to clean a kittens hair you know scratching and biting? and it was
terrible and it took ages and I couldn't get some of it out and it was really upsetting. And she
said you know what...this cat is soooo dumb; it keeps doing the same thing every day since
then! The response that you get tells you what the other persons, or cats, map of the world
is. It's good to change the things that you do to get the response that you want.

You see sometimes if I'm coaching a couple - couples counseling - and let's say for example
she's saying he's always angry with me.' And so I'd ask the guy...Are you getting angry at
that time she's describing? And he says No...I found when I'm trying to figure out
something that'll work for us that I'll just frown like that and that's what she's seeing. I say
to him...well have you noticed that when you wear a frown like that she thinks that youre
angry?

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So I said well one of the things we could change is that we could change that...like if you
could remember not to frown like that when you are thinking.... He said 'Why should I have
to do that? And I'll tell you why...if you want to win!...if you want to get the things that
you want in life...its worth doing the things that get the response that you intended to get.
Otherwise people just keep doing the same things and hoping the other person will finally
understand them...or finally believe their map.

Another thing thats interesting is that the problems that people have in achieving their goals
are not mostly that the world doesn't have the things they need - sometimes thats true and it
is that way - but mostly they are because they have the resources that they need but they don't
have a map that shows them how to get there. Happiness is a good example...now lets just
think about happiness for a minute...there's some research that compares 2 groups of people,
people who win Lotto and people who have been severely injured in a road accident and are
paralyzed from the waist down and also from the neck down (tetraplegic or quadriplegic) and
they follow them up over the next 2 years. And one of the questions they are asking in the
questionnaire is How happy are you in your life? Who do you think is Happier? The people
who were in the road accident and were paralyzed from the neck down! Now I'm not
recommending road accidents by the way. What I'm recommending is find out what those
people do that enables them to be happier than Lotto winners. And what they do is they
realize I'll need to make my own happiness. So they start thinking... I'll have to develop the
map to happiness.

The people who win Lotto...they think...Here's the map...buy a lotto ticket. And actually
thats not the map to happiness because it's only very rarely the person gets to win Lotto. And
so in fact people have the resources to be happy but they don't always have a good map. And
what the people who are paralyzed did, is they set about making the best map they could
cause they realize wow I'm not going to be able to find my way there from a lot of the things
I used to do that used to get me happy. So they make a new map. So what you can learn from
it is...you can start making your own map and wow if you've already got all 4 limbs well
you're way ahead of the game with this... Like this is very cool. You can easily, quickly make
a map that gets you happier than those people who had the road accident. So, you've got the
resources. Most of what I do with people isn't giving them... anything, like here take this
pill ...It's showing them a map or how to find a map that gets them to the resources they
already have.

By the way, rapport...you know I mentioned this before that when I'm working with someone
else...
I need to understand what they're map of the world is...not what my map is most of all. To
get them to cooperate with me. What leadership is...is the ability to get other people to do
stuff and to inspire other people to do stuff for example when I work with managers . And
how you inspire someone else to do something... is you need to understand their map of the
world. Otherwise you don't why it would make sense for them to do anything. So great
leaders are people who are good at rapport. This is a very important thing to know. Rapport
is not only the basis for this feeling of understanding, it's not only the basis of long term
relationships, it's also the basis for working in teams, leading and stuff like that.

Ok so finally another implication of the fact that the map is not the territory is that, not every
map gives as many choices. And in NLP we have a strong valuing of maps that give better
choices...that give you more choices about how to get where you want to go. So these are all

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implications of this basic idea.

Now the 2nd basic idea in NLP is that everything is connected. So my internal representations
deeper in my brain relate to the state of mind, the emotional state that I'm in. And deeper in
my brain than that, this relates to my body, my physiology, (the way my body works). And so
what this means is that when I change my internal map then my state of mind changes... and
then my body changes. Let me show you that...I'll get you to stand up...and I'm going to ask
you just for a few seconds here...to close your eyes...and with your eyes closed I'd like you to
imagine something and I promise it's just for a few seconds. I'd like to imagine for a second
that you felt really, really depressed [R slower and lower Voice]...like ah what's the point in
anything...it's really hopeless...that feeling. And I'd like you now to adjust your body so it's
the way it would be if you were standing there feeling depressed.

Where would your shoulders be, where would your head be, how would your breathing
be....sigh how would you be standing there, where would your legs be if you were feeling
really depressed.
Now what I'd like you to do is...I'd like you to very gently open your eyes...and have a look
around the room. Have a look around and try to keep your head in the same place...which is
hard to do and the reason why it is hard to do is because almost everyone in the room has
their head down and their shoulders forward. Now this is important to know because this is
the depressed position. And so if someone wants to be depressed they need to know this
position, so if you didn't fully get into it then
you haven't done this enough. And so the depressed position is the position depressed people
learn how to do. Now can you imagine what it would happen if you stayed in this position for
an hour? You would start feeling depressed. See when the shoulders are forward and the
head is down, what happens is breathing gets shallow, it's hard to breath in there...like theres
not as much room and the back starts to hurt. And so a lot of stuff starts to happen in the body
as a result of this. But see the depressed person doesn't just do this for an hour...oh
no...They do it for hours each day...they practice. Everything you practice you get good at.
Like I do these Chinese exercises and you know...the more you practice the better you get.
Depression; see if you practice it for days and days...you get better and better at it.

And so of course then they come into my office and they want me to fix depression, see. So
they come into my office and they sit there like [demo head hung down] sigh, can you fix my
depression? Now this is like an alcoholic coming into my office with a drink and
drinking...and saying Can you stop me drinking? The 1st thing I'm going to have to say
is...Put your drink down mate. And it's the same with this depression thing...The 1st thing
you're gonna have to do is change your body position.
What I'm going to do now is ask you to lift your shoulders back, look up a little, lift up the
corners of your mouth....this is a very special NLP process that we're trying to get a patent on
and we're going to call it The Smile; and so you lift up the corners of your mouth and now as
you look up...
Try and feel sad. And what most people will notice is...This is the wrong position...It's
difficult to feel sad when you breath deeply, look up and smile. Go ahead and sit down.

Your physiology affects your state of mind and that relates to your map of the world. So what
they've done is they get people to lift up the corners of their mouth with this process called
the smile and then they ask them after they've been doing this for a couple of minutes...and
then they ask them, tell me what sorts of things have been happening to you over the last 24

55
hours? Now if they've got the corners of their mouth lifted up...they remember more
enjoyable things. Their map of the world changes. See the depressed person; it's not just
that they have bad things happen to them...they can't remember the good things, because their
body is not in the right kind of position for that kind of memory. Your map of the world
changes when your physiology is different. Even to the extent that a fake smile...see what
they've done is...they have 2 groups of people...One group of people they have hold a pen in
their mouth between their teeth...now this causes a artificial smile [demo] like this you
see...and they get the other group of people hold the pen in their mouth between their lips
[demo] and this causes an artificial frown...kind of a sad face...and so then they wait 5
minutes...and then they ask them what their experiences have been over the last 24 hrs? And
they get the same result...the people with the artificial smile remembered more enjoyable
experiences and the the people with the artificial frown remembered unpleasant stuff. So if
you've got someone at home who is always complaining about how bad things are in the
world...now you know where to put the pen. So this is pretty important...physiology affects
the map. Now as you know, when I describe the lemon, the map affects your body as
well...affects your physiology. I talk about the lemon and your whole physiology is set up so
that it affects the other thing. Now this kind of set up where each thing affects the other is
called a system. A system is an arrangement where all of the bits interrelate with each other.
Do you get that? It's a technical term.

And so the other basic assumption of NLP is The Whole World Is Made up of Systems.

And this is a big surprise to Western Science...because Western Science comes out of the idea
that...you know... you can just go in a straight line for something...And so Europe was built
on this theory that if we just keep expanding and going in a straight line and everything will
work out fine. And this is really the century where we are discovering oops.. with this theory.
Because it's a system...and if you push something too far in one direction...then you suddenly
discover that you're loosing the planet. And so you actually have to know what else changes
in what way, when you do something...does this make sense? So it's a basic idea in NLP that
if we change one thing then other things in a persons life are going to change. Now I told
you there's a 5 minute allergy process...well here's what actually happens...sometimes people
have more than 1 allergy. Like anything, if you practice then you become good. So they have
several allergies you see. Milk is popular...your gluten that's a very popular thing and of
course there's certain chemicals that it's easier for your body to have allergies too...right? But
see when people have lots of allergies...then...I'm not criticizing...I know it can be really
annoying. One of the things though is when someone has lots of allergies...what happens is
when they meet someone, one of the 1st things they need to do is to explain to the other
person about their allergies. E.g. How do you do, I have an allergy to wheat so we need to be
careful what we're eating here today. e.g. Hi I've got an allergy to peanuts so I could die if I
eat some so you know ah like even traces could do it so ah so can I just check all the labels in
here. So now it seems strange but if someone does this for about 10 years...it's always one of
the 1st topics in conversation. And it's a winner because people usually say oh wow is that
right so ah how long has it always been like that? No no it happened when I was about 21...
and so they get to talk about something. And it becomes one of their 1st topics of
conversation. Now if you cure their allergy in 5 minutes they have to come up with a new
topic of conversation... otherwise they won't have any friends...they'll wonder how to meet
people. It sounds funny but it's really important. Because if they can't meet people then
they'll go back to fabricating their allergy in order to make sure they can have friends. Which
after all is much more important than the nuisance of having to check packets and so forth...

56
So this is very important...if I change one thing in their body now I'm going to have to pay
attention to what else is going to happen in their way of relating to people. Sometimes people
have a problem like anxiety or depression and they talk about that early on when they meet
someone. E.g. they say...sigh, I get nervous and I need to go outside and have a breath
of...and it becomes an interesting topic of conversation. And people respond by feeling sorry
for them...wow thats rough you know and so they get a lot of support from that. And if we
take it away then we've got to think about how they're going to create friendships without
having to reveal...well I'm not very good...can you help me? Stuff like that. So this idea that
when you change one thing...other things change...This idea is called Ecology...You know
what; 40 years ago I had to explain this term Ecology on my trainings. But everyone knows
what it means now right? In a system theres this thing called Ecology ...when you change 1
thing in the system you've got to check what else changes. The Mind And Body Are A
System. This is all implications of this idea. Now in a system when you do something, then
you get results but the results are feedback. So for example right now, is it warm enough for
people in here? Is anyone too hot? You're ok? Cool So if we're too hot, then what would we
do? Yes, we could change something right? Like open the windows, lower the thermostat for
the heating system etc. And thats the sort of thing we do like if it's too cold like it was this
morning we turn the heaters on etc...well our body's are doing this all the time of course. So
if your body's too cold, your body contracts in the skin and ah and eventually it gets you to
moving in a vibration (shiver) in order to keep warm. So when your body is cold...it knows
what to do next. It doesn't think oh-oh this is colder than the ideal body temperature so I've
failed ...and shut down. If it did we wouldn't be here now. It takes everything as feedback. It
doesn't have the concept of failure. If it gets too hot it starts perspiring in order to cool down
your skin. So if your perspiring now then it means your body is hotter than it wants to be and
it's releasing liquid in order to cool you down.

So everything that happens is feedback. Your body doesn't think; oh it's too hot, so it's failed,
and shut down. It has no idea of failure...it's meaningless in nature. There is no such thing as
failure in nature... it's a human idea. In nature everything is feedback that tells your body
what to do next. Right up to the point when it stops functioning as a body by the way. Right
up to the point of death your body is constantly adjusting based on the feedback that it's
getting.....thats life. Now this is very interesting cause sometimes humans get this idea...and
it's the conscious mind...I mean it's a wonderful thing but it's got it's limitations. And one of
it's limitations is the idea... that since I've set this goal, if I don't get there, like if I'm not
heading directly towards it then this must mean I've failed. And of course human beings, they
aren't built that way and they weren't built that way right from the very beginning; when you
have little babies learning things. Children learn things very fast in the first 5 years and one of
the reasons is that parents are very good at teaching them and they understand the idea of
feedback.

So when a little kid and I remember when my son said one of his 1st words and it was Da
Da, and I was just so proud. But you know here's what I didn't do... NO Dear the actual
word in English is Father...let's try that again:-( Like I'm sorry but I'm going to have to fail
you on that one :-( haha not funny though) have another go tomorrow...there'll be a retest at
5pm :-( So ah, I don't do that. What I do is say Wow Thats Great! Listen to this he's on
his way to saying Father...listen this listen this he's on his way to saying Daddy...He said Da
Da. So what I do is treat it as feedback and I know it's that it's constantly adjusting. Only
human beings and only after a certain age have the idea of failure, and success being a black
and white thing. So when a plane is flying (you've heard this story?) that when a plane is

57
flying it's mostly off course: 95% of the time it's flying the wrong way and they just
constantly adjust. It's a little bit scary cause I travel a lot flying internationally - I always
wonder where I'm going to get off...But there you go, they just keep adjusting. I often say
like if I was sailing on a boat...and if I was sailing from NZ and I was planning to go to
Brisbane lets say...and I'm way across the Tasman and I realize that I'm actually headed for
Sydney...Would I sink the boat?... pause... Well it's wrong?! ...Of course not...I'd adjust the
course right? So now I'm further along and I discover that I'm headed for The Gold Coast
instead of Brisbane...Will I sink the boat now? No? Because I've already been wrong twice
now. So I'm sailing further on and I adjust the course again and I'm sailing on and I realize
I'm on the wrong side of the harbor in Brisbane... Sink the boat now?...It's been wrong 3
times now you know...I mean 3 strikes you know...youre out. NO I won't sink the boat
because I know that theres this constant feedback process and everything every time I check
it gives me useful feedback about what to do next. Including the information about when to
stop doing things. When I'm teaching with Sales people, one of the things you sometimes
need to tell Sales People to do...is to shut up...is to stop selling. Because they need to get the
feed back that they've succeeded. Cause sometimes they fail because they don't know that
they've succeeded. They sell something and the person is nodding and saying they'll buy it
and the Sales person keeps telling them about it until the person gets frustrated and walks
away cause they can't get out of the shop. It's Feedback.

Ok so one of the basic ideas that I have in a system is that everything that happens inside a
system happens inside that system...so it has it's own intention. Let me show you what I
mean. Ah every behavior inside a system has an intention related to the system. I'm going
to create a system...I'm going to get you to stand up and come and stand around the edge of
circle or oval in the front here. Ok now what we're going to do in a moment is create a system
here. And what I'm going to get you to do is to choose 2 other people in the room (randomly)
but you'd need to be able to recognize them if they moved. So choose 2 other people in the
circle (and not me) cause I'm going to keep track of time while we do it. Ok so any 2
people...thats 1st You won't need to tell them who they are mostly. Pause Got 2 people?
Thats a great thing that happens on all trainings like these where your learning
communication skills and stuff...they tell you...Now I'm going to give you a task to do and it's
really simple...until you go out in the real world and you try it. Ok so heres the simple task
that I'm going to get you to do here.

I'm going to get you in a moment to move so that you are standing in a equilateral triangle
with those 2 people. Now that means you are standing an equal distance from them as they
are from each other. [Note: R now uses 2 students to demo equilateral triangle position.] Now
sometimes there'll be a 2nd place that I can stand...but I can see right now theres a table there
so I won't be able to do that. So sometimes there'll be 2 choices...sometimes just 1
choice...there'll always be 1 choice at least. And thats the task...Oh but there is one more
thing...When you go to do this...The other people might move. Now if they move....you've
got to see where they've got to now. Thats why I said make sure you can recognize them, like
know what color clothes their wearing or something.
So if they move...you work out where they've got to and adjust yourself accordingly so your
in a equilateral triangle. Got that? Oh and one more final thing...What I want you to is to do
this... without talking. So just nonverbally by just seeing where they are and moving. Ok so
lets do that now...and I'll keep track of time by the way.

Thats 8 minutes. Now heres an interesting thing...who at some time thought...this will never

58
happen? This will never work? And who thought at some point...it would work if only I
hadn't picked that damn person? Now this is very important because this happens in any
system. So an organization is a system, a family is a system and its easy for people to think
at some point...in this place we're never going to be able to get agreement around here, it's
never going to work. And so in this place, we would agree...if it wasn't for that person.

These are just 2 non-system-based ways to think about it. The 1st is to think...It doesn't
matter what feedback we get... we can never sort this out. The 2nd is to think...There is one
thing in the system...thats causing the problem. Now you understand that in a system, it does
not make sense to work out who is causing the problem. Because if you think...That bloody
person...why did they move? They moved because somebody else moved. They moved
because they had a need of their own, they had an outcome that wasn't being met. Now that
other person moved because someone else moved, and that person moved because someone
else moved, and you might have been part of that whole process right?

So it doesn't make any sense to work out who's fault that this is. It's just a non-system way of
thinking about it. I'm not saying you shouldn't work out who's fault that it is...I'm saying that
there is no meaning to that question, in a system. It's much more complex than that. And so
the only question that is useful is...What do we do next? Whats going to work best
next...based on the feedback we've got. Thats the way that the system resolves its
challenges. Thats why your body is doing it all the time. If your body thought...It's that
damn blood stream, its not providing us with enough..you know...it would be fighting itself.
Actually what your body does is it constantly works out what do we adjust next to make this
work...for all of us.

Now in the real world of course there's another thing that happens and inside your body the
other thing that happens is called your...conscious mind. And inside an organization it's
called...The Manager. Ok so now I'm going to play this role...I'm The Manager ok.... so I'm
going to fix this [R gets Phillip to volunteer] Right so Phillip who were your 2 people? Ok
can you please come over here and stand by Phillip - I'm going to sort this for you Phillip.
Now, did anyone else have these 3 people? Ok, who did you have? Good so if you could
stand here. Who else had either of these 3 guys they were following? [People who had 1 of
the original 3 to come up and R positions them]. See how good this is see it's a system...this
is what managers do...[R goes through asking who had who and getting them all positioned in
relation to each other. Starts to get more and more funny as people see who was following
them. R jokes every so often about who someone picked and jokes about how good he's
doing as a manager creating a system and jokingly telling some that they are trouble makers
upsetting his system. Eventually it becomes clear that almost everyone else not organized yet
will not be able to be fitted into his scheme.]

This is really important because it looks so good...and thats what fools everyone. To me as
the manager it looks so good..I'm organizing the system and it's working like a dream! Until
we discover what the implications of it are...And suddenly whats obvious is not that theres
just one problem, but that the whole system has been constructed from the beginning in a way
that won't work. Do you see? Now the tricky thing is, this is what your conscious mind
does... with the best intentions as an organizer it's trying to put everything in it's place inside
you/inside your brain...and of course it all looks perfect Except for that damned habit...like
what is it with those damn cigarettes or what ever it is. And what is it with getting up late in
the morning! How come I can't? That kind of thing... you know. And It's kind of like that

59
person in this system here who, when it finally comes to the crunch are obviously not quite in
the right place in fact.

So here's the other thing that happens in a system as well of course... in an organization
say...Is that while I'm doing this, someone is watching me and their saying...He's doing it the
wrong way... Sometimes he asks people who had this person? And sometimes he asks who
did you have? Thats not right, you've got to stick to one. And then someone else says
something different. In Poland they say, you've got 20 people in the room...theres 40
opinions right there. So this is really important to understand...that the complexity of the
system is too much for any one person to sort out. And as soon as there are several people
trying to sort it out...it becomes impossible. So instead of it taking 7-8 minutes to sort out...it
will take forever...it just won't happen...And that would be correct. And thats why people get
the impression in a organization that it isn't going to happen.
Now what that means though is that the traditional way in which you'd expect a manager to
operate doesn't work very well here. In management theory what I was trying to do would be
called micro-management. So what I did was, I tried to work out where everyone
should stand... I'll meet your needs...I'll keep everyone happy. And this is the same problem
in a family...Micro-management in a family is where one person in the family...thinks they
can make everyone happy. And they take on the role of trying to keep everyone happy. So if
one person needs something they'll go and talk to the other family member to help out the
other family...etc...And this doesn't work either. So micromanagement doesn't work.

But that doesn't mean that a manager can't do anything of course...because the 1st time when
you sorted it out in 8 minutes...There actually were some things I did, that made it work. And
those are what I think of as useful management in a system. Now the 1st thing I did, I set a
ground rule about how we would do it. I didn't say...you'll stand there and you'll stand
there...But I set a ground rule about how we'd do it. And the ground rule was... that we
would do it non verbally. Now you understand why I did it that way...Because if I let you talk
about it...It would never happen. It would go on forever. Because each person would have
their own theory about how we should do it. It would just go on forever. And so the ground
rule made that work.

And the 2nd thing I did...was I set a boundary around the system. So there are 2 things you
can do in a system, you can set ground rules about how things happen in the system and 2nd
you can set a kind of a perimeter literally around the system. And I did of course, without
you probably even noticing it. Because we were doing it inside the building. And it took
slightly longer once you broke through the perimeter interestingly when you broke through
this line of chairs here. And so at first you were headed for a decision in probably about 5
minutes...and then when it shifted out beyond the chairs there (because it seemed easier of
course) and thats when it shifted out to be 8 minutes. And if we did it outside, it would never
work. We would get further and further away... Because it always would be easier. And it's
the same thing in a system, it's always going to be easier to have nothing to do with the other
person you know. Like if I'm in a relationship or in a family and they won't let me smoke
cigarettes, then I'll just go outside and now I don't talk to them in the evenings
anymore...because I'm smoking outside. You know. And the same thing happens in a
organization when people go outside to smoke and so their decisions can only be made by the
smokers or the non smokers. And so the system goes further and further apart. So what I did
was I set a boundary around the system.

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And those 2 things of course are what I did at the start of this training. Because training is a
system. And so because it is a system, at the start I kind of summarized what the boundary of
what we're doing on this weekend is. See this is where we're headed and then I said and here
are the set of ground rules that I would ask you to have about how we do it. Thats like that
ground rule of Do It Non Verbally. Thats what makes it run. All the behaviors that happen in
a system...happen for an intention that was generated inside the system. So when someone
moves...they move because they have some intention. And when I'm working with someone
helping them to change...rather than thinking well this strange behavior that they do...is just a
nuisance. It's a habit that they've gotten into and it's a bad thing. Instead, often what I'm
interested in is...What was the behavior trying to get the person? So this person has this
behavior where they get angry or they overeat or something like that. So what I want to find
out is... What was it trying to do for them? And is there some other way that we can meet that
intention?...that would actually work for the whole system.Thats what you did. The person
moves...What did they move for? Well lets find a way that we can get them what they
needed...which was to be in that triangle with that person.

The more flexibility you have...then the more in charge you are of the system. The 1st people
who moved across there to the other part of the room quickly took control of what was
happening in their part of the system. Because they had the flexibility to move over there and
people hadn't thought about it before. So flexibility is useful inside a system for getting in
charge of the system. If your too flexible in one direction of course the system would break
as I said ...if we were outside it would go on and on and break the system. So again this is
something I notice in terms of Western Science. That Western Science has enormous
flexibility in how it deals with the world. And too much flexibility at times and that it breaks
the system. So it just expands, expands, expands and it works out a way that......For example
in traditional agriculture around the world...You put plants in the ground and every so often,
you leave the ground and you let other things happen there, so it gets nitrogen back in it. Are
you familiar with this? It's called in English fallow; you let the field lay fallow for 1 year in 7.
And so what we did in Western Science was...We had the idea that ah well we don't really
want to leave the field fallow for a year so we'll just cram some nitrogen into it. Like we'll
just artificially produce fertilizer that has nitrogen in it and we'll ram it into the soil and keep
churning food out each year. But it doesn't work after a while. Other things happen as a
result of it. And so in that sense, we had a little too much flexibility for our own good.
There's an optimal level of flexibility for a system. And you do get more control by having
more choices...but you need to know where they go.

So when I talk about a system, I talk about behaviors and their intentions. I think it's more
useful for me to talk about a person in terms of what they did and their intention...rather than
in terms of some kind of label. So ah, before, I used some labels that I learned as a
psychotherapist...like
depression and anxiety. These are not so useful as descriptions of a whole system. It's more
useful for me to know...what a person does. Like when someone is depressed... usually what
they do involves a lot of thinking about whats gone wrong...and whats gone wrong in the
past. And a lot of self criticism. You know, they tell themselves off for stuff. And when they
do that for long enough, then it doesn't feel very nice. And that not feeling very nice and the
things that happen when they don't feel very good inside their body...those clusters of
behaviors get called depression. But they're just behaviors and they had an intention. When
that person was telling themselves off, they were trying to get their life to work better and to
enjoy life. And it's just that it's not the best way to do it.

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Now what I've just done is taken you through the basic ideas of NLP. And these are
assumptions that I make. Now I want to emphasize I'm not saying these things are true. I'm
not saying that life really is a system. I'm not saying that everything that someone does has a
positive intention, I'm just saying that this is a working model that makes NLP function.
When I'm working with a client I assume that each thing they do has a positive intention. I
have no idea theoretically whether it always does, it might be a random accident...it's just a
model. Do you get it? Like the most basic of these 2 ideas is the one 'The Map Is Not The
Territory' and that includes NLP. NLP is not life...NLP is not what generates the
universe...NLP is just a map...[Pause]...clear about that? ...This is real important because
people sometimes talk about...will NLP work?... Maps don't work...People work...They work
really well...And maps just help you get around with them...thats all.

So were coming up to lunchtime, and one of the things that happens when you go on
trainings like this of course is that you get all these new ideas and you move around a lot and
it gets kind of exciting. Well, for me anyway, because as I mentioned this is my hobby. And
its one of two hobbies I have. Tomorrow Im going to show you a little bit of my other main
hobby which is traditional Chinese Exercise or chi kung. Very simple exercise, by the way.
And I find that really useful because a lot of what we do in NLP is kind of thinking about
things. And as you know its a system in there so if we do some things with your body that
helps the thinking to go better. When it comes time for lunchtime its time for your body to
digest things, and if youre going to digest your body will want to relax a little. Relaxation is
an interesting thing...I want to show you how you do it...of course you all know how to
relax...You fall asleep sometimes right?...is this right? Some people don't by the way...some
people don't sleep for months on end. This is usually considered not to be right...so they don't
usually like it. So my recommendation is...Keep on with the sleeping business. Sleeping
means that you know how to relax already. And have you noticed that even when you know
something...when it's the time that you need it most...then sometimes it doesn't run on
automatic? Like the time when you've got an important meeting the next day and you know
thats the time that you really need to sleep and yet thats the night you'll be laying there
thinking about all the things that could happen. So this is why it could be useful to learn
how your body naturally does things. And honestly thats all I do in NLP...In NLP I'm not
teaching you new stuff at all...what I'm doing mostly in NLP is I'm showing you how things
work...that already work. That I didn't design at all...that is part of life...that is part of being
human. Now this is extraordinary, this means that your body already has all of these
resources and this includes being able to relax. Now when a people relax...they do specific
things but they don't consciously remember what they're doing often. See one of the things
people do when they relax...is they defocus their eyes. Oh you know how I said when I
described a lemon...that your body responds as if it was a lemon...do you remember that?
You know when you slice into it and the juice squirts in a fine mist, and when you bite into
it...do you remember this? So, in the same way, when I was teaching in the University and
Polytechnic system here...after lunch was a great time to see people relax. So I'd watch my
students and they'd be like this [demo falling asleep in class, eyes defocused and head
nodding] And I'd look and I'd think to myself...now there's somebody who knows how to
relax. Cause you see what they do at the start there, they defocus their eyes, they relax their
jaw...so this is all part of relaxing right?...You relax your jaw...you defocus your eyes...
Because you don't need to look at anything in particular...when your relaxing...and so your
vision gets a little blurry. Now if you notice...even as I describe it... have a look...it gets
blurry around the edges... already...and as you relax of course...your internal voice

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changes....it slows down.....and the sentences connect together with words like.....and.....and
so....and in the same way.....as your eyes defocus...... your ears defocus........and the
sounds...sound a little different......occasional noises in the background start to remind you of
how quiet it is around here......the sound of my voice gets a little echo-y...and your ears....we
don't have a word for it in English...that sometimes the voice sounds a little further
away...sometimes a little closer...sounds a little echo-y inside......and as you relax...it's not
only that your breathing slows down but it also becomes more regular or even. And as I
mention it...you wouldn't even have been noticing your breathing consciously....until I
mention it again...now...and you don't need to think about your breathing...think about
that......because as you relax...those things happen naturally...and another thing that happens
is, you tend to remember times....you've relaxed before. Cause you know the experience
where you sleep in your own bed and sometimes people notice when you sleep in your own
bed the feeling of the softness or firmness of your own bed is just right.

It reminds you of relaxing there before...and sounds and the quietness of the places where you
usually sleep remind you of relaxing....and its funny how a sound...even if it's a familiar
sound can remind you to relax...even hearing the sound in the background as I said....reminds
you of how quiet it is here now...as you relax...and in the same way...you've had many times
when you relax each day, that youre reminded of as you relax right now...for example those
times when you drive to work may seem very usual but if you go to work by the same route
each day, sometimes you arrive at work and you realize...I don't even remember the
journey...I'm not sure what happened...Sometimes people say to me: Is there something
wrong?...is this Alzheimer's that I drifted into this And I say no, no...your brain is working
fine and it just went into a relaxed state. And you can be very safe in that state...your brain
can return control to your conscious mind when ever it needs to.....as you relax like that...its
the same experience you have sometimes when your waiting in a queue and then someone
taps you on the shoulder and says..ehem it's your turn next...and you'd drifted somewhere
else....and sometimes people say... oh Richard I know you were describing relaxation and I'm
not sure if I was relaxing, I think I was more monitoring what you were doing...you know I
was wondering what NLP things you were doing...and I say youre right...your mind is
wandering...it's wondering about the things that I'm doing..whether they are NLP processes or
what it means you know. (note: the zip is singing in the background and lunch is getting
close) and thats how it happens when you relax...because you know...........[R speeds up
suddenly very fast] this is the speed I was speaking with at the start...this is my usual teaching
speed by the way. It sounds like one of those records you know, like one of those records
with Chipmunks on it where they speed up the record too much and sounds like
wooooooowhats happening there? Because actually... [R says med.speed]..you were in a
different state....[R slower]...you've slowed down...your breathings slowed down...your
internal voice has slowed down...and now as it happens again...you feel it more...that there
really is a change that happens as you relax...and it's just knowing what things happen as you
relax...now....inside...[R back up to medium)...So we're going to come back in an hours time
and play with NLP a little more and tomorrow I'm going to show you a little more about
relaxing and you can relax more...And as you do that...youre learning how to relax
quickly..not in 7 minutes because 7 minutes is waaay too long to relax...and you want to be
able to relax in 1 minute... or 30 seconds... or 20 seconds...10 seconds...even in just 2 seconds
or 1.....that's right...

[R back to normal speed] Now of course if you are driving [R claps] during the lunch time

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you want to be wide awake...This is important. Usually what people find is if your driving [R
claps] then either you point one of those remote control things at your car and you press the
button and it goes beep, beep...or else you put the key in the lock and you turn it [R claps]
and either of those 2 things make you wide awake. And that means you can drive safely
and when you come back this afternoon you can relax even more because from the research
we know... When..You..Relax..You Learn More. And just 5 minutes Relaxation Means That
You Learn 25% More...Of The Information From A Training.

CD 1 C Keys to Success

So when the developers of NLP studied people who where highly successful, then they found
there were 5 things they were always doing: And one of them was they knew their outcome
their goal. And so I want to say a little more about this and get you to practice with this
process of setting goals the way the most successful people in the world do it. To give you an
idea about what I mean by that... There's this guy named Conrad Hilton and you may not
know of Conrad Hilton but you probably know of his grand-daughter...who has the name of
some European city hmm was it Rome?...no...so if you've heard of Paris Hilton... Her
Grandfather Conrad Hilton was in his own time rather well known...And so he ran a chain of
Hotels known as the

And so the interesting thing is, one day there was a reporter interviewing him...Now Mr.
Hilton, I understand...I've looked on the Internet and I understand that you began your career
by working as a Bell-Boy in a Hotel...(so you know the Bell-Boy is the guy who comes
running when you ring the bell and they bring things for you and they bring you bags for
you...and you give them tips and things)... So...what was it like only being a Bell-Boy...when
now your in charge of a chain of Hotels? And Conrad Hilton looked confused...and he said...
But I was never only a Bell-Boy. Oh the reporter's looking at his notes...and he says... I'm
sorry sir, I thought I found on the Internet that you began as a Bell-Boy? And Conrad
Hilton said... No, no. I began as a Bell-Boy...But I was never only a Bell-Boy. I was always
in charge of a chain of Hotels...theres just some stuff you've got to do 1st. Now this sounds
like a play on words but let me show you how it's not. It's about how successful people think
of their goals. So, this morning I knew there was going to be a NLP training here...and so...I
did some things to get ready. And at one time this morning I was eating my breakfast. Now
if you happened to see me eating my breakfast and then you met me now...you might say to
me...Wow Richard, what was it like being a guy who is only eating his breakfast, when now
you're an NLP Trainer? And I would be completely puzzled...like I would say...What are you
talking about?...I was never only a person eating their breakfast, I was always an NLP
Trainer, it's just theres some things you've got to do 1st , otherwise you'll pass out if you
don't eat at some time. So ah, do you understand? And so because I knew that this training
was here, then I actually drove down from Auckland to Wellington a couple of days ago. See
I didn't lay around in bed thinking...Well if the training is meant to manifest then it will
manifest you know...its all up to the Universe..... I actually drove down because otherwise I
knew that you guys would arrive and the doors would be locked see. And so, in the same
way of course, I put some information about this when this training was going to be on the
Internet a couple of years ago. Do you understand? Because I knew, well if there was going
to be a training here now...then ah people are going to need to know about when it is...do you
see. So all of those things were a part of my setting the goal to be here at this training. And
being an NLP Trainer at this training is something that I experienced myself as...all of that
time. But theres some things that you need to do 1st. And that is the way that the most

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successful people think of their goals. So that's a very different to way to the way many
people think about their goals...Where they kind of shift away from the usual experience
where they don't have the thing and they kind of fantasize about wouldn't it be
great...wouldn't it be great if I did this...(but they don't)...If you expect something to happen
then you do the things you need to do to get there. The reason why Conrad Hilton was a
Bell-Boy was because he knew he was in charge of a chain of Hotels and there were some
things that he needed to do 1st. Do you get the difference? And I hope you get the...I hope
you get whats the same in this as in 'The Secret DVD' and also whats different. Whats the
same between this and 'The Secret DVD (I'm sure more people will now see it as a result of
me explaining it) But a lot of people come to NLP Training after having watched 'The Secret'
And what I'm wanting to do is to say...Here's whats similar about it is...If you set a
goal...then you imagine that goal and you expect it to happen. But here's whats different
about it...If you expect it to happen then you do the things that lead to it. You don't just sit
around waiting and saying...Well I sent my message to the Universe and so now the Universe
will manifest it...it's kind of like a Genie that appears...for those of you who've seen it. So
the people who are most successful it turns out...don't really quite use 'The Secret' the way
that it is in that film. And in fact of course...if you read around you can see on the Internet or
read one of my articles about 'The Secret' on the Internet (email R if you want more info) But
the thing is...most of the people who appeared on the film 'The Secret' don't believe it either.
They've said since then; actually I feel uncomfortable with the way I was presented on the
film and furthermore...the people who were quoted from history mostly didn't believe it...
Some of them very much not!

For example Winston Churchill was quoted as saying...If you imagine things... they just come
into being. Actually that is part of a larger statement in which he said...If you imagine things
they just come into being...this is the kind of stupidity thats stopping people from getting
anywhere. He really didn't believe it. So it is important, I like to make to make sure the stuff
I'm teaching has actually been checked out. And really if you want to achieve things it's
necessary to do stuff. And sometimes when people aren't achieving things it's because they
spend a lot of their time fantasizing as if they have done. And so there's research about this
and it's all in your information in your notes at the back of your manual. People spend a lot of
time sometimes imagining that something has already happened and when we check people
who are trying to change their body weight then we find that changing your body weight
depends on doing things. And when people fantasize that they have reached their ideal body
weight already...then they actually don't pay attention to the things they need to do as
fully...So they don't treat it seriously. They think ahh it'll happen anyway cause I've imagined
it...And thats not such a smart idea.

So if we look at someone who is highly successful then...we see them going through a series
of kind of steps almost naturally. One of the things is they get really, really clear about what
their goal will be. (and here is the same as 'The Secret') Get really clear about what
you'll...See and Hear. Let me give you a couple of examples: One is a guy who has had a lot
to do with NLP: Steven Spielberg,
have you heard of Steven Spielberg?...he makes movies and things. So Steven decided when
he was 13 that he wanted to be a movie director and like most successful people then he starts
out planning what he's going to do. Now when he's 17 his father knew someone who worked
down in Universal Studios and so he's 17 and he went on a tour of Universal Studios and he
went to visit his fathers friend. So he broke away from the usual tour party, went to visit his

65
fathers friend and had a look around the Universal Studios on his own. He went out to the
back of the Studios to where the actors live in Caravans/Trailers in the back there. (Roseanne
Barr complained that she grew up in a Trailer Park and then she became a famous
actress...and lo and behold ends up living in a Trailer Park at the back of Universal
Studios)...So he had a look at these and many of the Trailers are empty of course.

He talked to the guy who was the guard at the gate...you know the guy who let people in and
out of Universal Studios, he saw where they were making films and then he went home.
Now thats what most people do when they do a tour of Universal Studios...they go and look
around and go home.
The next day Steven Spielberg came back, he was carrying a briefcase, and he walked
through the gate and he said Hi to the man at the gate who waved him on through, cause he'd
talked to him the day before so he knew he must work in there somewhere. Spielberg went
around to the back of Universal Studios, goes to where the Trailers/Caravans are, and he went
up to an empty one and opened his briefcase, took out a sign that he'd had painted...it said:
Steven Spielberg director...and he put it up on the door of the Trailer. And he moved in for
the summer holidays (from school this is) And thats how he became a director. In his
briefcase he also had the script for a movie...The first movie that he ever Directed. And it
took him 2 years to convince Universal Studios to make this movie...even though he was
hanging out for a lot of that time in their property. Now this is a quite an interesting thing
because when we track what did Steven Spielberg need to do in his head in order to get this
to happen for him and we find out that 1st of all...he needed to think through very thoroughly
What Will I See-Hear and Feel...when I'm a Movie Director?...Who do I talk to in the
morning?... Who do I walk past?...What does my office look like?...What will it say on the
door?...What kind of things do I need to have ready to convince somebody to let me make a
movie? Thats what I mean by sensory specific...What will I See?...What will I Hear?...What
will I Feel? Now here's the research - remember the 5000 people who had a major goal - now
here's one of the main differences between the 2 groups...the 10% who achieved their goal
and the 90% who didn't. The 90% who didn't achieve things...Their goal would be something
like...I want to be happier...or ah I want to have better relationships...or I want a great
job...Now do you hear the problem with these? Thats not really clear about whats going to
happen. And when someone asks them... So you know, when you've got a great job, what
will you see and hear? They would say...Everything will look brighter...ah what will I hear?
Ah well...Good things. It's too general...So their brain and body doesn't know what to do to
get there. And knowing what to do to get there is the point of goals.

Let me say this really really clearly...The point of having goals...Is to do things. The point of
having goals...is to motivate you to get to where you want to get...No More & No Less. That
is so important...Goals are not magic...And here I'm parting company again from the famous
DVD. Goals are not in themselves...the magic that makes everything work. They are a way of
motivating you to do things...to get to where you want to be...thats all.

And so Spielberg needed to be really clear about that and he needed to be really clear about
When he was going to be a Director. People who are very successful they actually plan a
time by which they're going to achieve something. They don't just say...Well some time it'll
happen...it'll happen cause I put it out there. That's not enough for a person who's
successful...they want to know when...When will it happen. Now quite often, it will take
them a little longer or a little less. In fact when we do research mostly peoples estimate of
how long something is going to take...is not big enough. When we check with University

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students...How long they expect it to take to write a unit?... (some of you will know this
yourself from your own experience)...so we ask them how long do you think it will take you
to write this University paper?...And their estimate is usually way shorter than the time it
actually takes. And the time it takes, is usually much longer...than their worst possible
estimate. So if you say to them...What would be the worst case?...And they say aaah it would
take me 5 weeks at worst, but I should get it done in 2....It's going to take 6...Thats what they
mean...thats on average. So this is important to know...that getting good at estimating how
long somethings going to take is part of succeeding. Because when people don't have a
realistic estimate then sometimes it's true that they get kind of depressed just because they
think they should have achieved it by now so they give up...They don't get that thats
feedback that tells you it takes longer than that.

And a really good example is being an NLP Practitioner...for those of you who are wanting to
be fully Certified NLP Practitioners and then...Certified NLP Master Practitioners...and
running a Coaching Business or something...you know...Coaching/Counseling Mostly when
people don't succeed with something like that...It's because they expect they can just put up a
notice outside the door of an office somewhere and the next week they'll be earning lots of
money. And actually...Keep your day job is the answer. Because you do actually need a bit
of time to build up clientele. And building up clientele is something that as people get to
know that you're there...then they start to coming to see you. So the biggest mistake people
usually make is thinking that it's going to happen real quick and then giving up. So... The
time...Now how do you know if something is realistic time? Well what you do 1st of all...Is
you imagine that someone who is really good at setting goals...like Steven Spielberg...came
into your body and they've got your resources...They need to do the things that you need to
do to stay alive (cause their in your body right?)...And they have your amount of
money...And they have your friends and contacts...But they're really enthusiastic about
achieving their goals!...So how long would it take them? That's a realistic time. Then we
only have to work out...How you do it. Do you understand? See its useful to know...Whats a
realistic time for anyone to achieve this...and then...Next thing is... How would they do
it....So that You Know the How of how to do it...Which is different than The Secret. So,
*Sensory Specific
*Timed

Now if Steven Spielberg had said...My goal is to Not to end up in a dead end job...It wouldn't
work. And so thats the Positive thing... like... What do you want? ...It's different to the Blue
Tree. What do you want instead of the Blue Tree?

And there are questions that I ask when I'm guiding someone to think through this process...I
ask them a series of questions...(these are in your notes actually)...and that is on pg.6 in these
notes.
So I ask this person... When do you want to have this outcome?...Put yourself in the
situation of having it...step into your body...what do you see what do you hear what do you
feel when you have it? If the person says...Well I don't feel anxious...Then I say...Well if you
don't have anxiety...What do you have instead? And thats the question for...2) State in
Positive language...If you don't have that...What is it that you will have? But I don't need to
ask that Number 2) question if they've said all positive things.

So Steven Spielberg of course um also needed to pay attention to number 3) to something

else about achieving this goal...and that is...In order to become a Director, he was choosing to

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hang out at Universal Studios through the day...All through summer...when he's 17...In LA.
Which means his friends are at the beach...Thats not a problem but sometimes it will be.
That what you need to do in order to achieve a goal is going to effect the whole system that
you have in your life. And you need to think about how will I deal with these other effects?
Thats the questions that are listed as Ecological here. And in the research about the 5000
people...One of the clearest differences as well was that...The people who
succeeded...considered what things might go wrong?...So they didn't just think
positively...they thought...If, I do this...what challenges might happen in my life?...What else
might change...as a result in me doing this that I might need to take care of? Pause That is
important as well. Pause So, for example... They researched people who were trying to loose
weight...And what they found is that...If they ask the person at the start of their goal
setting...So imagine that your invited to a social event and there's a lot of really nice food
there and someone asks you...Come on, have one of these yummy cakes...Then how would
that be? Now the people who thought oh that would be totally easy...No problem at all...
These people were at risk. So you'd think that those people are being really positive but
what they're being is really naive. Because its a complex situation, it's not as simple as that
and the people who were successful are the people who actually thought their way though.
They thought...How will I deal with the social situation where someone asks me to eat
something...perhaps they've actually cooked it and they want me to experience this and I'm
trying to avoid that kind of food? And when they said... Well that would be difficult and I'll
have to think more about how I'm going to do that...They were going to succeed.

And thats Ecology. I ask a couple of questions here:

What will you gain if you have this outcome?......thats the good stuff
What will you loose if you have this outcome?......what will the risks be...what will the
challenges be?

Now if the person says...well actually that would be difficult because I would not be able to
compliment peoples cooking by eating it all time...like sometimes I'd have to say no. So that
means I'd loose the ability to just enjoy appreciating their food. Then I say...How can you
create new ways to get whats important to you and reach the goal? So how can you find
new ways to compliment their food and still reach your goal? So I don't tell them...I just ask
them...so what do you reckon how can you have both things? Ecology is about the
consequences. It's a metaphorical use of the word, it's the same as...If we cut down all the
trees then thats good because we've got all this wood...But on the other hand...what are the
consequences? Ok so what would happen if we cut down all the trees? Well, hillsides will
run down into the rivers and flow out to the sea and then we can't plant stuff and we don't get
any rain if we don't have rain forests... stuff like that. So how can you create new ways to
get what you do want? Like some times a person will say...Well my goal is to give up
smoking. So the 1st thing I ask them is...If you don't have smoking...what will you have?
Because I want them to think about having healthy lungs rather than have them thinking
about stopping the Blue Tree (which is stopping smoking) So if you have healthy lungs...is
there anything you'd loose? And I've actually talked with people who say...well the people at
my work they hang out together and they smoke. And thats where all the important
planning is done and then you go back into the office and then you just do the kind of
technical details with stuff. And they actually need to think through...how you get what you
want...like to be a part of that planning without ending up smoking yourself? Its a realistic
issue.

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So the other thing about ecology is...Is there anything in your life that you don't want to be
affected by it? Are there any situations you don't want this goal to affect? So ah, sometimes
a person tells me their goal is to make this huge amount of money. And I ask them is there
any area in your life you don't want it to affect? And they realize, well I don't want it to
affect my time with my family like this is really important to me...I don't want to lose my
family in order to make all this money. Sometimes people say...No I'm really happy with my
goal all the time. I need to check this carefully because for example...Someone might
say...my goal is to be energized and enthusiastic; like I'm not dynamic enough and I really
want to be dynamic. So I say...is there any situation in your life that you don't want to be
effected by being dynamic...where you don't want to be dynamic?...and they say...No, no I
want to be dynamic all the time. (these people haven't yet had insomnia). Lying in bed and
being dynamic all night...isn't so smart. Sometimes people say to me...I want to be
assertive...And I say ok well Sensory Specific...what will you See and Hear when your
assertive? (do you hear assertive is a very general idea) So then they say ok well, I want; If
someone asks me to do something and I don't want to do it...I'll say no. So now we have a
description of what they want...I know saying no doesn't sound very positive but it is actually
what they'll do...they'll say no if someone asks. So I say is there any situations you don't
want this to affect? No; I'd like that goal all the time. These people have never been stopped
by the traffic police. So it depends where you come from but in NZ if a traffic cop stops you
and they say...Excuse me but that was a red traffic light back there that you just drove
through and...then it's not a good time to say...No I'm sorry this isn't a good time to discuss
this right now and I have somewhere really important that I need to get to.....This is the
wrong time...This the time to be really polite, apologetic, unassertive. Part of assertiveness
training is to know when to be assertive and when to just be quiet. So. Its not always true that
a persons goal is to effect everything in their life...You do want to check...is there anywhere
you want to leave alone?

OK thats all Ecology. Now the next thing I ask the person is, and its just a check to check
that their brain understands this... I ask them ok what about if you get this goal...does it have
a feeling like it increases your choices? Sometimes a person tells me...I have a part of my life
that I don't like. Like they tell me I want to give up...I'm over using alcohol...I've been told
I'm probably alcoholic. And I want to give up alcohol. So they say...there's a bad part of me,
could you cut it out? Like your an NLP Practitioner...make it go away. This is the... I have a
friend Steven Gilligan and he says this is the Mafia Don model of NLP Once people know
that you do Hypnosis or NLP they come and see you and say [note:R uses Mafia imitation]...
I just want you to get rid of thisYa know I don't even care...I don't want to know how you
do it. It's just business, right...Just get it out...take it away, I don't want to have it And so,
it's really not like that I'm afraid...I have to say sorry, I don't do that stuff, talk to the people
next door at Mafia Incorporated...Cause if we go ahead and take it out, this is what we're
going to find...What we're going to find is that the piece (like the alcohol and drinking) is
connected to other pieces... It's connected to how they relax, cause they drink to relax in the
evening. Just a couple of drinks before I ...have the next couple of drinks before I.....fall
asleep. They use it to deal with conflict...So the way that they deal with conflict without
screaming and stuff is they go and have a drink. And they use it to go and build friendship
because they drink with their friends. And so there's all sorts of things in their life that are
connected to this...And if we take it out...They are going to end up with a drastically
diminished life style. And their brain knows it and it won't let it go. So this way of changing
just does not work. Here's how change works much better. The person comes to me and says
I've got this problem with drinking. And so what I do is I work with them to add more and

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more choices. I work with them to find more ways to relax. More ways to resolve conflict.
More ways to create friendship. Now when they have all these things,
they could still drink...But why would they bother? They don't need it to relax in the
evening. They don't need it to resolve conflict...They don't need it to make friends. So what
I'm doing is I'm adding more choices...Instead of trying to take them away. Your brain
doesn't like taking away choices... Its built to keep adding more neural networks through
your life time. This is why as people get older they have so many neural networks... they
have lots of choice at each decision point. Have you noticed this? They think its something
is going wrong. It's a funny thing like people get more and more information and so when
they go to make a decision it takes them a little longer because they cross connect it with
other stuff. And this used to be called wisdom. And now its called...a senior moment. Like
can you hear the difference in the kinda cultural attitude here. Like wisdom means being able
to connect each moment to all these other moments and understand its significance in terms
of the whole. And this is a very smart thing and most cultures have through history have
understood that. There are some tasks, for example flying a fighter jet where you want to
make some quick decisions or it appears that way in the movies anyway. So mostly what I'm
aiming to do here is...to do what your brain does best and keep adding choices for a person.
So that they have more and more ability in their map to use other methods. And in fact from
the research we know that this is the most effective way that someone does something like
give up alcohol. So the way that people stop addictions, smoking, drugs, alcohol and so
on...when we actually research people who have successfully stopped using an addictive
substance...on their own...then here's what we find...We find that the most effective way to
give up an addiction...Is to Fall In Love...This is very, very successful!! And we know why
actually...In the brain when someone falls in love...then the chemical balance in the body
changes...And theres a chemical you may have heard of called oxytocin. And oxytocin is a
chemical that is produced in massive quantities when you fall in love. And it kind of cleanses
the brain and leaves it open to new possibilities. And so it allows you to fall in love. And so
this is a very effective thing...when it clears the brain it leaves it open to new possibilities...It
Accidentally Clears Addictions.

And the 2nd most successful way...in the research on Self Change by Prochaska &
diClemente... and they are now well known the field of addictions counseling, did an NLP
style thing... They studied people who actually gave up successfully and they wanted to find
out what they did that was different. And what they found was that they didn't go to AA
programs, they didn't go to 12 step programs or anything like that...They did some very
simple stuff. So, they often fell in love, they often changed their job and found a job that was
very fulfilling that they really enjoyed doing... Those are real successful ways of giving up
addictions.....And you can see why...Because they add choices...They add choices...And the
person feels like they could use that old choice...But Why Would They?...Why would they
drink when they've got this wonderful thing happening?

So when I'm helping someone set a goal, I just want them to check, do you notice that this
goal is going to increase your choices because if they say no, then I want them to think about
it more and I want them to tell me more. It's just to remind their brain that... Hey, This Goal
Is going to give you Heaps More Things To Do In Your Life. It's going to give you new ways
to get this thing and new ways to get that thing. Thats what I mean by choice.

The next thing I do is I want to check that the person knows that they will have to do
something. That it's not a Magic Genie. So I ask them what will you need to do in order to

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achieve this? Now when people are not used to setting goals, there's a couple of interesting
things that happens. One of the things that happens is that they get scared about which goal
they should set. So when people are not used to setting goals...so I say ok we're going to
practice setting goals - successful people do it - and they say yes...So I say...So what kind of
goal would you like to set? And they say oh um well I'm not really good at setting goals. So
this is the 1st thing, when theyre not used to setting goals...it's like any muscle when it's not
used...then it feels a little strange when you 1st start using it.

But if you keep practicing with it, it keeps getting stronger and stronger and easier and easier
to move. This is really important to know and I would recommend to people who have not set
goals before is.... Just Do Something & Play With It.....Like it will get stronger and if you
don't like it...then you're allowed to throw it away tomorrow...You really are...It's in the
rules...I've checked...
So you're actually allowed to change your mind. And so when I'm with someone who is not
used to setting goals...and when I ask them...So what will you do to achieve this? Often they
don't know...and thats alright...That doesn't mean something terrible has happened. It just
means wow this is so interesting...so it would be worth thinking... so what are some of the
things you could do? And here's why...because I want them to think...What is the very 1st
little thing that I will do? When people successfully set a goal...they work out what's the 1st
tiny thing I could do in the next 24 hours? Think Steven Spielberg...so what he does is...he
works out not only what he could do in the next 5 years or sort of thing but...What could I do
today? And I guess with him it's a little extreme.
Now let me give you another example of this...Most people in NZ have heard of Kate
Shephard... how many people have heard of Kate Shephard? Ok, so let me tell you who she
is. She is the woman who was the kind of central organizer in the movement to get women
the vote in NZ...alright? And NZ was the 1st country in the world where women got the right
to vote. Now imagine what it was like to have as a goal... to achieve something that has
never been achieved in world history. Can you imagine? Like to get a democratic vote in a
large scale country...ah for women. So she can't say...Hey they're doing it in America so lets
do it here..or something like that. It's just a New Idea. And so what happened was that...NZ
women got the vote...actually took the vote...like they didn't just get it handed to them or
something...NZ women got the vote...And it was about 30 years before British women got the
vote. Very similar culture...So Kate Shepherd soon after NZ changed...Kate Shepherd was in
Britain and an interviewer asked her...So what do think is the cultural difference between NZ
and Britain? And she said I don't think its a cultural difference at all...She said I think its
that we got really clear about our goal. And so at the time in fact, In 'The Womens
Movement in NZ' people had lots of different ideas about what their goal should be and so
there was an idea...well to improve a womens condition well one of the things we could
do...Is to stop the use of alcohol...you know because the idea was...that men get drunk and
then they beat up women...you know... So that lead to The Prohibition Movement...you
know?... So that was a movement to ban the use of alcohol and make it illegal in NZ and
America, for example where it was successful for a while ...And so of course then... When
women tried to get the vote, they would present it to the parliament and the parliament would
say...You think we're going to give you the vote so you can make drink illegal...We all drink
in the evening so are you kidding? And so, they ah They wouldn't do it, they wouldn't do
it!... And Kate Shepherd understood that it was useful for them to work out...What's the 1st
thing we need here? And if women get the vote...then women will be able to work out the
differences that they want to make more effectively after that... So she got really clear about
the goal. So she said, thats what enabled them to succeed and it was a matter of

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thinking ...Whats my goal and What am I going to do to make this happen?

There's one more thing that people who are good at achieving goals do...and that is...That
they work out what things they've got inside, that would enable them to do this. And I'm
going to show you more about this tomorrow. So when it says your resources ..um..it doesn't
just mean external resources like money and things like that. It means inside you...what
things have you got that would help you to help you achieve this? And let me give you an
example of this, what I mean by a resource in this way. How many people have traveled
overseas at some time in your life...from the country you where born?...A lot of people ok...
Now the 1st time you travel overseas it seems like a Big Deal. Its like a massive thing...Its like
will I have the money...and when I get to this place will I be able to do the things I normally
do?

Like if its a place that speaks a different language. How will I be able to order a cup of tea
or something like that? Ok, so theres a whole lot of things to work out like that. And it
seems like a enormously, risky, challenging thing to do...But once you've done it once...It's
easy. So when you go overseas next time...it's nothing..right? Because you know what its
going to be like. And so what it means is that ...the 2nd time... Here's whats different...The 2nd
time you go overseas...you have in your mind a clear idea of whats going to happen. And so
its as though you've already done it.
Now...successful people never ever do something for the 1st time.......They always have a
clear idea of whats going to happen.....Do you get how thats working? And so how do they
do that? They're sneaky ...What they do is transfer it from one place to another.
So they take the feeling and the skills that they used in one part of their life ...like I achieved
this goal in my life and I did this and this and this and it really worked. So they take it over
here and they do the same kind of stuff. And thats what I mean by a resource...They take the
ability they had in one place and they say I've got that...I can do that here...They use that
resource over here. So I'll show you this...when you set a goal with someone...because thats
what I'm going to ask you to do. I'm going to get you to work just up to here because we're
going to deal a lot with resources tomorrow. I'm going to show you how to do this piece in
detail tomorrow...It's going to be called a resource anchor.

For now though, what I want you to do though is to....Choose a goal that you could play with,
with someone. And so to choose something like this ...remember: If you are new to kind of
consciously setting goals...that this is something that you will improve with time. I find that
with people who are familiar with setting goals...sometimes whats happened is that early on
in their life, they got the idea that it wasn't a good idea to set individual goals. So it wasn't as
if someone stopped them...It was more like they just got a lot more approval when they tried
to workout what everyone else wants. And so ah...like in Japan ... Culturally this is different
from place to place. So when I'm working in Japan...thats really common...and its really
common especially for women...And ah probably its a cross cultural thing... that its more
common for women that they're going to pick up this idea that their going to get a lot of
approval if they do what everyone else wants...rather than if they work out what they want.
And so theres nothing going wrong...its just worth noticing...Oh yeah thats the idea I picked
up when I was young.... And now I could re-decide because there might be some places
where it might be useful to have some goals. Some people have an idea about goals that .. if I
set a goal I'm kind of limiting the universe...you know like...Who am I to tell god what we
should do..kind of thing...and ah.. There's this really cool quote about this that I usually use
when I'm explaining this to people who say this...And its from Mahatma Gandhi said...you

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know. His goal by the way was to take the biggest empire in the world... and take it's largest
colony... and break them apart. It's an extreme kind of goal..you know...And again something
that hadn't happened in history...And to do it without killing people. So this...... is an
outrageous idea...and people asked him don't you think that's a bit arrogant to think that you
could achieve this in history? And the way he described it is he said ...Well, God gives us all
sorts of things. He gives us hands, he gives us a brain, and this brain has the ability to plan..
And he doesn't give us all these things just thinking that we'll leave them to waste...you
know. He gives us these things expecting that we will do things with them. So the power
behind the universe...wants you to do things. And Mahatma Gandhi said his way of thinking
about it was...He used this ability that he was given...and then...He leaves it to the
universe..what actually happens...So he leaves it to god what actually happens...do you get
the idea of... how this happens? In India...In Hinduism this would be called Karma
Yoga...So it's the idea that... You do things...and ah ...and then...you know... it's up to God
what happens. Of course as you do stuff then you get feedback which gives you a better
ability to set goals. And if you have that kind of belief system. A better ability to understand
where the universe or God wants you to be. Ok so I'm just offering that because I know some
people are cautious about goals...like who am I to set a goal...I should just leave it to God or
the universe or fate or something. Now I'm going to get you to think of some goals that you
would like achieve. And heres another thing about it that I think is quite important...Is that
when we ask people what goals they have for the next year...they usually over estimate what
they can achieve in a year. When we ask people what their goals are for the next 5
years...they grossly underestimate what they could achieve. So if you try and achieve
everything you want in your life in the next year...then it doesn't work very well. But if you
plan for the next 5 years, ah then you'd be amazed at what you could achieve. So for
example: since when I 1st did my Practitioner Training, from where you are now, on the 1st
day of NLP Practitioner Training...5 years later I was Training on 3 Continents every year...as
an NLP Trainer. And so that was my whole new lifestyle. So at the time I was doing this
(NLP Training) I was working as a teacher at the Polytechnic in the University system here in
NZ...And I shifted career entirely. And in 5 years I had this kind of lifestyle I have now of
traveling around the world and stopping off at Tropical Islands (well you gotta rest
somewhere). So what I'm going to ask you to do is to take 5 minutes to start writing down
some goals. Now I want to reassure you that you are allowed to continue doing this in your
own time afterwards. So don't worry that you won't be able to get it all written
down...Because it turns out that you can keep planning for the rest of your life.. it's in the
rules.. And so as you think about this...of course one of the things that people often associate
goals with..is earning money. And in popular culture like in 'The Secret' thats kind of
encouraged a little bit in some ways. Of course earning more money is something you might
set as a goal. Of course its also true that you might set goals for your relationships. When
people look back at the end of their life...Relationships are often pretty important.
And so setting a goal - remember the most successful people, and this was one of the
examples that the researchers used, when theyre setting a goal for a relationship...the most
successful people would say something like...My goal is that I want to be able to with this
person spend such and such hours per week doing such and such type of activity. That kind
of really detailed stuff...rather than We'll be happy together. So very specific things. You
are allowed to set goals for Relationships,

You are allowed to set goals for your sense of Spirituality...for your sense of relationship with
everything that is. It is in the rules..really. So your allowed to say right now I feel
disconnected from the Universe and...Here is what would be happening that would let me

73
know that I'm on track Spiritually....Like want to do these things and these things and these
things. Like in the history of Europe people kind of...you know that in the history of Europe
religion became uncool for quite some time..right? Because they had a lot of wars about
religion and so people kind of lost.....When I teach in Europe if I speak about Spirituality
people immediately say... You understand you are in Europe...so we don't have Spirituality
here in Europe. So its kind of interesting. One of the things that happened in Spirituality
that people thinks a little odd in the West now is...Pilgrimages..you know where you go on a
journey to somewhere, and ah one of the things about Pilgrimages thats really interesting, I
think is like..It's a Goal.. and it enables you to focus your energy. And so instead of just
saying I will be more Spiritual..it gives you something that you are aiming for. And a there
are still religions where..I am on a major Pilgrimage.. is still a powerful goal and has a really
strong meaning in the religion. And one of the advantages of that, is it gives you a kind of a
focus for all of the things that are hard to measure. In the West we think ah whats the
difference, one place or another place its all the same planet. But I don't think thats the
point..I think its this feeling of having a goal. So I'm saying, Spirituality, Career, Money,
Relationships and you're allowed to have goals about Your Body. Your allowed to decide that
you want Your Body to become more flexible, that you want to be able to do such and such
activities each day. You know its such a fascinating thing, like when I was 30 when I woke
up and noticed that my body didn't feel good anymore. And I thought wow, I'm getting old. It
turns out that thats a mistake..It turns out that when I was a kid, I used my body a lot. You
know when you watch parents taking kids around town and the parent walks like this [demo
walking in a line] and the kid walks like this [demo running around] They run around and
climb walls and jump and so on.

Now if you don't move a muscle for 10 years...it doesn't work very well...thats all. It doesn't
matter whether your 5 years old, or 50 years old, or 90 years old, if you don't use something
for 10 years it doesn't work very well...its as simple as that. So of course, eye sight is one of
those things and I have a friend Leo Ankhart and he's a NLP Trainer who specializes in
changing peoples eye sight. So he takes people who have massively incorrect vision
problems and he shows them how to (in a very short period of time, in a couple of weeks )
they can shift their vision so they can see at least within the normal range and often much
better. And mostly what he's doing isn't magical at all. I used to be short sighted and I used
to have to wear glasses all the time... ...mostly what he's doing is showing people how to
exercise their eye muscles...cause there's these little eye muscles that are supposed to shift in
and out to allow you to focus. And when people don't use them...see in our culture right
now...see one of the things I do a lot each day is look at a screen [demo] that sits right about
here...And thats all I do...I look at it for ages...There is no way in the natural world that any
animal would do something like that. Like if you live in a forest or you work outside your
constantly looking out at the horizon and looking back so your using those muscles,
constantly shifting your focus...and it keeps your eyes flexible. But if you don't use them for
10 years then they don't work as well. And its not age, it has nothing to do with age. This is
important to know...So age related body challenges...If you talk with someone who is 90
notice how their tongue works...cause they use it every day, it works really well because they
use it every day so it gets exercise. When their legs don't work so well...its probably because
they don't use them as much. Ok. And people in sports understand this. You can set a goal for
your body of what you want to be able to achieve. Sometimes people who are in other fields
don't get this...It's just as easy to set goals for your body. Now people who are into sports...its
just as easy to set goals for your relationship. People who are in coaching and counseling,
they already get that, ...they just got to get that about the body. So what I want you to do is to

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think very widely about these goals. So what I want you to do over the next 5 minutes or so
is to write down some of those goals you have.

Keys to Success CD 1D

So what I'm going to do now, is to demonstrate this with someone who has a goal, that they
would like to achieve, and when they think about it now...it seems fairly doubtful...you know
it seems like, yeah I'd like to achieve this but I'm not sure if I can. And it needs to be
something that you feel ok talking about. But the secret to what I'm going to be doing here is,
I'm not going to ask any difficult questions. The only questions that I'm going to ask you are
the questions that are written down in your notes. So you know what I'm going to say. Who's
got an example? That means youre going to get to do 2 today by the way.

[Demo]

R So whats your goal...what would you like to achieve?

P I'm going to go overseas and do some voluntary work.
R Right wow!...ok that sounds cool. So ah do you know what sort of voluntary work your
going to
do?
P Either teaching or community work.
R Right, right, so the thing thats in common with that is that you'll be...between those 2
things is you'll be teaching and the community work is that you'll be working with
people...And ah tell me a little bit more about what you will hear and see that will tell you
that your doing the right stuff.
P It's going to be total immersion in a community, working mainly with people who I'll get to
know on a personal level..
R right, right yeah so you saw them in your mind then didn't you?
P yeah yeah etc.
P Also I know that I'll be replacing somebody in the project and that someone else will be
replacing me in the program afterwards
R yeah, yeah right etc. So you'll feel like your a part of this whole...
P organic thing...And ah just to make a difference in someone else's life...and it would also
help me appreciate what I have here..
R yeah yeah
P. which I don't think I always appreciate.
R So you can imagine yourself as your kind of working over there..almost looking back to
your life here and realizing....
P . possibly or maybe when I get back here cause when I'm there I'll be so immersed in what
I'm doing and the people I'm working with and what ever difference I can make ..
R right got it.. yeah that reminds me a lot of what it felt like when I came back from Bosnia
actually. Like people over there are traumatized from 3 years of war and come back here and
someone comes up and says I've got a phobia of spiders - this is easy. ok So now I'm going
to ask you when you'd like to achieve this by? And so let me explain whats kind of realistic
about this...Realistic means that you might not know how exactly you're going to do this yet
but it's possible for someone to do it...The way I usually say it is...you know how you hear
about someone like Steven Spielberg or Kate Shepherd or someone who is really good at
achieving goals...If they came into your body, and they are going to have your resources:
they have the people you know, they have the money you have, they have the time you have

75
available and they've got this incredible ability to achieve goals...How long would it take
someone like that..to do this?..Cause then we just need to work out how. What do you
reckon.. how long?
P ah I think you could probably do it in a couple of months.
R right wow..So now that you know that...and it doesn't mean you have to do it that way. So
when would you like to do this by?
P By next winter.
R alright winter ok so what month is that?
P June/July
R. ok so by August next year 2010 you would be in some other place seeing those faces and
doing that stuff/..
P yeah
R Great ok. So if you do this - I know you already said some of this - but if you have
this..What will you gain?
P I'm trying to think of it as giving rather than gaining...
R right and so paradoxically in a way what you'll gain is the ability to give..
P yeah
R Is there anything that you'll lose as a result of doing this?
P um Well I guess there is inherent dangers so you could lose your health..could contract an
exotic disease. I could find myself in a war torn dangerous situation. I could put myself in a
place where there is a natural disaster...those are the only possible losses.
R yeah right and they're all over there..is there nothing you would loose over here?
P yes I would loose 3 months salary.
R ok right so ah the salary..is it alright to lose then?
P yes
R Is there anyway you can achieve your goal And preserve your safety?
P Well yes I can take all practical preventions
R Ok good, so do you think that through the whole process of achieving this goal...Does it
feel like you will you increase your choices?
P Yes.
R And between now and then..What do you need to do to make this happen?
P I'll need to enroll in the program and pay the money and then as soon as that is done I can
start fund raising for the trip. I'm a little apprehensive about the fund raising, it's going to
cost $1000's of dollars and I'm not sure how to do it, they give us assistance but it's new to
me.
R yeah so thats another piece you'll need to learn about... So thats what you're going to do
then...Your going to enroll in the program, your going to work out how to raise the funds, and
those are the main pieces to it.
P yes
R Now you've done some things already because you know how to get into the program so
you've already checked some stuff ..What else is there thats a small thing you can do within
the next few days that would move you towards that?
P Well I could pay my deposit and I could talk with a person who has already been to the
place I'm intending to go and learn more from hearing their experience and any advice they
have (I have their contact details already) So I could contact the person and arrange to meet
sometime.
R yeah right...so these are things you could actually do over the next few days?
P Yes
R And you are going to be here over the next week or so, so you could even talk to some of

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the other people here about what you've done etc.
P Yes
R now I'm going to ask you the question I'm not going to ask the rest of you to ask when
your working together on this. Now I know you've done some pretty big things in your life
as in major goals that took a lot of organizing and didn't just happen over night, that when
you thought about before you would have thought wow this is a really big thing to do and its
going to be really hard work - like I know you've traveled around the world as an example -
but you managed to do it and feel really good about it afterwards right? Ok, So you don't
even have to tell us what it is but choose a really good one. Choose one that when you think
about it you think...that was a really big to do, it took a lot of energy, it took a lot of
time...Have you got one?
P Yep.
R And you knew how it felt when you had achieved it?
P Yep
R And you know what its like when you achieve it...I've done this...I'm here...I've made
it...You know what that feeling is like? And now imagine that good feeling when your over
there..doing this work that you want to do...
P yes.
R. Ok thats all for that little piece... and we'll do more of that in detail tomorrow. Now here's
the thing, over there when I asked you to find a goal that when you think about it, it seems
like a challenging thing to do...Think about this goal now and notice how does it feel now
compared to how it felt when you were over there?
P I feel excited...happy...all positive feelings
R yeah, yeah so thats more so than when you were over here? Isn't that cool? Cause it
really only took a few moments...
P yeah it feels great almost like I've already done it.
R Awesome thank you very much. [Clap clap]

Ok so this is what your going to do with someone, you are going to sit down in a pair with
someone and ask them the questions on page 6. And ah let me just go through these
questions so you know what it is that you're asking them. The 1st thing is, you can say, so that
you understand this, is you can ask them what date they intend to have this by. And if you
were doing this with someone else outside of this course..you could use the little story I told
you about imagining someone that is really good at goal setting who had an incredible belief
about this, who had all your resources and imagining how long it would take them to achieve
this goal...and use this to measure whether it's realistic or not. Because if they couldn't then it
probably wouldn't be realistic. And then put yourself in the situation of having it, step into
your body and What do you see..What do you hear..What does it feel like actually being in
that situation. And then the next part 'the positive language'...I didn't need to ask this in the
demonstration and you will only have to ask this if they say something like.... It won't be
like this So if they say something like: When I imagine what I'll see... I won't be afraid.
Then I would say something like...If you are not afraid...What are you instead?

And then I went on to say..What will you gain and What will you lose? And if there are
things they will lose that they'll regret losing, then I'll say: So how can you create new ways
to get what is important And reach this goal? I didn't ask this in the demo by the way but
the next question is...
Is there any situation in your life that you don't want this outcome to affect?

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I asked does this outcome increase your choices? And I asked what do you personally need
to do...to make this happen? And then I asked what is a small step that you can take over the
next few days? It doesn't have to be big, it just has to feel like something is moving. And
when your brain knows that you're already doing stuff then it has the feeling well it might as
well carry on.

Tomorrow we're going to learn more about that last question I asked...All I did was I
said...Think of a time when you've achieved something like this...And you know what it felt
like when you'd achieved that and you now realize this is what its going to feel like to
achieve this. Like I said when you've been overseas once..it's nothing the 2nd time.

So, this whole process only takes about of an hour. And thats quite important and here's
why... If you were asking someone these questions and they were good at thinking about blue
trees...If you give them too much time, they'll actually tell you stuff that isn't useful. Like
they can start getting into their doubts and fears and stuff and we're just not dealing with that
stuff right now. Going through this fairly quickly speeds the person through with this way of
thinking. And thats quite useful. It stops them slipping back into their old way of thinking
about it..by just tracking this way of thinking that successful people use.

The next part of this process then after doing some things...and the aim of goal setting is to
get people to start doing some things...The next thing is to notice what results your getting.
And in NLP the sort of fancy name for that is Sensory Acuity. So sensory acuity means...
having the sensory acuity to notice...whats the result of what your doing? And in terms of
working with people which is what I'm going to focus on this afternoon with this...sensory
acuity means actually paying attention to...when I'm doing this,..how is the other person
responding. So sales people who are really good at selling things...can notice as they're
saying something...how the other person is reacting. And they change what their saying in
the middle of the sentence to make it work for the other person. And teachers who are good at
teaching, do that as well. They pay attention to what is going on with their students..and they
adjust what their saying so that they the response they're expecting from their students. Like
as an example of that with teaching..some of you have had the experience of teaching a group
and sometimes someone in the group has a question...and they don't always ask the question
immediately.....but when they have a question they kinda go like this...[demo]...and what that
means is.. they've started the process of asking a question. But then they realize oh yeah I'm
in a group..so they don't quite complete it. And its a useful thing for a teacher to notice it.
Now then, sometimes if you just look at the person.. then they'll ask the question..because
then it suddenly feels like oh I'm actually talking to a human being..I'm not in the group, I'm
just talking to a person. And then, when a teacher responds to that...by the way I don't
usually respond to questions by just answering them..but you'll get used to this...and anyway
when a teacher responds to that though...there's a point where the person feels like they got
their question answered..or they answered their question for themselves. So they say What
happens with such and such?...and I say something...and go like this...[demo-sigh, sit
back]...And its like their little light turned off. It's like on a airplane they have these little
lights that you press to get someone to come and talk to you..you know and the little light
goes on..and when they finish, they usually press the little button for you.. and turn it off.
And so its like...their little light goes off and they sit back in their chair..and their question is
answered. Now if they're still sitting up here then its useful for me to know that as a
teacher..as a trainer....that their light hasn't gone off yet and they haven't had their question
answered. And I may not decide to do it..but I just need to know that...its really helpful. So

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those are tiny little things and ah to be successful as a teacher..means to notice those little
things.
And they sound little but inside a student..they feel big. Because what its like..its like..to
look around the room and see that 75% of the people are falling asleep...This is really
important to know but its amazing that teachers don't always notice it. Have you discovered
this? Cause they just get off on teaching I suppose and their really enjoying it...so they don't
notice that no one is learning. When I did teacher training you know and one of the people at
the College of Education who was teaching us at the time...he was a real character, his name
was John and he had a really strong NZ accent and um he was talking to us and then he went
out of the room and someone else came in the room - one of the teachers from the teachers
college...and he said...I had a interesting experience with John...one day I came in, in the
morning and he was in the lecture theater...(so this guy John was in the lecture theater)...and
he was teaching. And he was teaching enthusiastically and passionately you know like he
had something really important to teach. And this guy looked around the whole lecture
theater and there was No One there! And I thought oh dear, like something has gone really
wrong with this guy. So at morning tea I went up to him and I said...John, I saw you teaching
in the lecture theater this morning...and John said... Yes thats right..[strong accent]..I had a
class scheduled so I taught this morning. So ah well John, I noticed you were teaching and
No One was there. And John said No, no one turned up this morning. So he said, Well
John why did you teach? And John said, Well thats what they pay me for...thats what I
did. Now what this reminds you though...Is there is a difference between teaching and
learning.....And the difference is...Noticing what goes on. Like so you can learn how to
teach... but you also have to notice what results you get...when you do it.

And its the same with selling. You can teach sales people how to sell stuff...but if they can't
notice whats happening with the other person then it doesn't work...they don't sell stuff.
Sometimes they keep on selling when the other person has already agreed. Really, I've
watched this in shops...(its just so cool to watch people) One of the groups I teach around the
country is The Retailers Association. So this is people who are managers or people who
work in large shops around the country. And its just such a fascinating thing to walk in
shops after that and watch what actually happens...and sometimes their selling things to
people and the person has been trying to buy it for the last 5 minutes. And the person is
saying yeah, yeah etc. and the sales person is still saying...And there's another thing you can
do with this...and they are still selling because they haven't used the sensory acuity thing. Or
sometimes the person totally doesn't want it and they keep on selling it cause they haven't
noticed it yet. So, um what I'm going to do is I'm going to get you to practice a very simple
process. We're going to do this visually and auditorily which means I'm going to get you to
pay attention to the results your getting with someone else visually by seeing and then by
listening.

Now, to do this I'm going to ask someone to come and sit here and I'm going to get them to
think...thats all your going to have to do... you don't have to say anything. And I'm going to
get you to think about 2 people. Someone that you like, is one, and the other person is
someone that at the time your thinking of, you didn't like but its ok to think about them still...
(thats important). So often when I suggest this on NLP trainings people are often nice and
they say...well there's nobody I actually don't like so...I say, ah let me just go through some
categories and something may come into your mind. Ah, Bosses, Teachers, In law's,
Politicians, and they say ahh I've someone...I've got someone. I don't know why it works
but there you go. So what we want is someone who you can think of...and when you think of

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them you can remember a time when you didn't like them..you didn't feel good about them.
And then the other person is someone you really like. And what I'm going to do is I'm going
to get you to think about each of these people..and the rest of us are just going to watch and
watch what happens. So can I have someone to volunteer 1st of all. [Erika volunteers]

So ah the rest of us are going to move around so that we can see. And you can close your
eyes actually if thats alright, because otherwise there's other information that they get. Ok so
now the 1st thing I'd like you to do is to think of someone you really like...and see that
persons face in front of you there... and hear the kind of thing that person would say, that you
really like...hear the sort of voice they would use...and feel what it would like if they were
sitting beside you and saying those kind of things... Thats a nice feeling isn't it? [Erika
says yes]. And you can see what this looks like. This is Erika thinking of someone she really
likes......Excellent, now you can put that person gently to the side.

Ok now, what I want you to do next is...to remember this person that its ok to think of..but at
the time, you didn't really like...And see their face in front of you...and hear the sort of thing
they would of said...the kind of voice they would have used...thats right...and feel what it
would be like if they were beside you saying those things......And the rest of you...This is a
different picture...right. Whew now you can put this person aside. Pause relax a second to
clear the space a bit. Now without telling us which one it is...Is one of the 2 people taller than
the other? [Erika: Yes] Ok so what I'd like you to do is close your eyes...And think of that
person who's taller...And see their face in front of you...And feel what it would feel like if
they were there beside you... saying the kind of things they might say and listen to the things
they might say....Ok and as she does this...What I'd like you to do, is I'd like you to guess and
I'd like to put your thumb up...if you think its the person that she likes...and put your thumb
down if you think its the person that she doesn't like. Ok so you can watch if you want to
just out of curiosity...and you can put that person to the side now. And so now have a guess,
just out of memory, now we're just guessing like we're just playing...Whats your guess?
Those people who thought it was the person she didn't like...if I can ask you and we can
model it...So what did you see?...How did you know it was the person she didn't like? a) Her
lips went kind of tight b) tense c) her hands moved kind of tighter etc. This is really
interesting to play with.

So what we're going to do is I'm going to get you to be in 3's. And 1 person is going to do
what Erica did...and think of each person in turn..with their eyes closed... and then you're
going to get them to think of the 2 people randomly, and just choose without telling
you...And the other 2 are going to guess. And its just a guess...we're just having fun. Now
you know how to do this because...ah this is something that...as the guy I mentioned before,
who did all the studies of facial expressions and emotions, Dr Paul Ekman, said... Emotions
are intended to leak information...thats what they're for...They are a
communication...They're not just inside a person...Emotions are a message to other people
around them. And so of course when you were a child you noticed this...And some times
when you noticed emotions,...you would mention it and some people around you would say
Shhh ! Don't do that...don't talk about that. And they were trying to help you cause socially
there are times when it isn't a good idea to comment on it...But its still a good idea to notice
it. Do you see the difference? Your parents probably didn't know to tell you the difference.
They may have meant to say, Hey we don't comment on this thing in public sometimes...but
its really interesting to notice isn't it? Thanks very much [to Erica..clap clap] So, find
another 2 human beings and remember what you're going to do... each time you're going to

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ask them to... See the person,..Hear what they said,...And Feel what it would be like if they
were beside you,..um doing those things. Cause that activates those different areas of the
brain.

[Post activity:] Ok lets check...When you're getting it right...What sorts of things are you
noticing?
a) ok the mouth, whether its thin or whether it turns up at the corners yes...b) the eye brows
whether they go up or down. This is interesting because we teach in Japan as well and in
English cultures a smiley face looks like this... [ :-) ] right? In Japan...thats not a smile.
And the reason why is because, in Japan people don't move their mouths as much. They
learn to control to control that movement and in Japan a smiley face looks like this... [ (^_^) ]
thats a smile; Interesting eh?
...culture eh? It means they are paying attention to different things. What else did you notice
then? Yeah right right, so they get relaxed or tight...And there is a color change with that, do
you notice that? Like if these muscles are tight...then the color starts to go out...like the face
gets whiter. And when the muscles relax...then it becomes more flushed. And the corner of
their eyes crinkle when a person smiles in a certain way..............so yeah there's a special
term for that a Duchenne smile - which was first recognized by the French physician
Guillaume Duchenne.... but that kind of smile is very significant. The kind of smile where
the eye muscles are moved is significant enough so that you can...they've done a very large
research study where they look at High School Year Books that have photos of people.
They're all smiling cause they're asked to smile and some of them are just smiling with their
mouth... and some of them are smiling with their eyes, so their eyes are smiling. And the
ones who are smiling with their eyes ...When they follow them up 10 years later say they're
dramatically different,...They're much happier in their life...They have all sorts of other
successes......Most of all they are most likely to be in a relationship their very happy with. So
they have that ability to smile with their eyes. Yeah, what else did you notice? The hands,
right so whether the hands were still and relaxed or tight...yeah yeah. The nostrils...Yeah,
when someone....? sometimes their nostrils...[faded voices. And laughter] What else?
Breathing yeah sometimes a persons breathing can shift from low breathing to high breathing
and be tighter and be shaky...yeah yeah and shorter.... Sometimes the person will position
their body differently like they'll actually ah sometimes when they think of the person they
don't like...they'll actually pull their head back and its not so easy to see from the front but
from the side you can see they've actually pulled back as if they've tried to avoid it...And
with the other person they actually move forward.

Ok the usual way that I demonstrate this Auditory Sensory Acuity: is that Julia does some
talking in one of the other languages that she speaks which is Russian. Ok so I'm going to
invite Elena (Kostyugova) to come up here and say some things...so do you want to come up
here and I'll tell you what to say.........And what we're going to do is.......We are going to listen
to her. And so Elena is going to talk about 2 people...and they need to be 2 people who are
the same gender...ah like they have to be 2 men or 2 women. And one of them she (Elena)
actually really likes...and the other one... (at the time she's talking about)...she didn't like.
And by her talking in Russian about them...all except one of you...will be able to concentrate
entirely on...What the sound of the talking is like. And so your task is to...kind of ignore the
words and just listen to...What is the difference in the way that she talks between the 2
people. And so it can actually help for you to keep your eyes closed while you listen to the
talking.

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So to do this exercise, you're going to be in the same group of 3. And you just need 2 people
this time they need to be both women or both men. (they can be the same 2 people as
before..if they were both men or both women) One who you like and one who you didn't like
at the time but its ok to talk about.You got 2 people like that?

[Elena 1st talks (in Russian) about the person she likes. Then she talks about the person she
doesn't like....Students listen to voice only.... and compare the sound with 1st example of the
person she likes. Richard then has Elena talk about the way one of the same two
people...and talk about the way they dress or the way they look without letting the group
know which one she chooses. So just by listening to Elena's voice...the group tries to guess
which one she talked about. Most people in the group guess that Elena was describing the
person she likes. Asked why by R they refer to the...brisker speed, lighter tone, continuous
flow. R mentions that he noticed that when she had been talking about the person she didn't
like...she paused more often and there were more um's. Which is probably due to the fact
Elena (like most of us) try not to say critical things about those people we don't like and
don't fully express our true feelings about them...hence the pauses and um's whilst we think
of nicer words but not our true thoughts of that person. Richard notes that]

These are similar indicators of telling lies...as in...when people lie they more likely pause and
um than when we tell the truth which comes out more fluent...according to Paul Ekmans
research. So your going to be in the same group...and its a simple thing just like this again...
you choose 2 people ... one that you like... and one that its ok to talk about, and has the same
gender, but you didn't like. And the other people just listen...eyes closed. And person A talks
about each of them... and then chooses one of them at random and describes either what they
look like, or what their home is like. And while your listening, you are guessing which
person their talking about. Got the Game? Ok so find those people and have fun.

Anyway, there was this guy who's just moved to the large city.... Yeah so he's moved to the
large city and of course he has heard from the taxi driver that its going to be the same as
where he came from - You know like people are unfriendly and talk about each other behind
their back and so on. And then he hears this woman from his office talking to the same taxi
driver...(do you remember this?)...And she says what are people like in this part of the town?
And the taxi driver said...What were the people like in the town you came from? And she
said...Oh, thats why it was so hard to leave...I had such good friends there. You know in a
small town people are so close there, support each other, always there for each other. And
you know I just got on so well with people there...and it was such a big risk to come here to
the city. And the taxi driver said, Well I've got some really good news for you...That's the
way you'll find it is here. It's not about what is..out there...It's about the map you've got in
your head..right? It's about the presuppositions.

So there's Milton on his horse...remember?...And he came around the back of the house. And
there is this guy who walks out of the back of the house (the farmer) and he looks at Milton
with astonishment. And he doesn't recognize Milton so he knows he must have come from a
reasonable distance away. So he says...That's my horse...How did you know to bring it back
here? And Milton said...I didn't know, but the horse knew...And I just knew how to keep him
on the road. And Milton said...You know, That's the way that you work with people...I mean
thats the way you manage a team. You don't need to know where every person is supposed
to stand...You just need to know how to keep them on the road. He said thats the way you do
teaching...I don't have to know as a teacher, exactly what you want to learn out of this

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training...I don't have to know as a teacher, exactly what things your learning and what
things your letting go of. I just need to know how to keep you on the road. And he said,
Thats how you do psychotherapy and coaching...You don't have to know which way your
clients going...You don't have to know the war stories of where they've been. You just need
to know how to keep them on the road. Thats the way you do parenting...You don't have to
know exactly where your kids are going to end up in the world...You just need to know how
to keep them on the road. And he said...But there's a much deeper meaning to this story....But
you know we're right at the end of time...so.....I'll come back to that tomorrow. But
anyway......Thanks for playing folks and thats the end of todays session and I'll see you
tomorrow. [Clap clap]

END OF DAY 1 / START OF DAY 2

Keys to Success CD 2A

Ok, Welcome back. So today I want to carry on introducing you to The Keys to Success.
And the other thing I want to do is give you an introduction to the whole field of NLP and
Change.
So that is to the field of using NLP processes to help someone make changes in their life.
And to do that I want to give you a kind of overview of the types of change process there are
in NLP. And one of my aims with this is for those people who are here for the weekend, that
when you read NLP books after just doing this weekend...You would have a sense of
understanding of whats going on and some experience of that. So mostly I'm kind of trying
to think...even if someone just comes for the weekend ...How could they go away with
something that enables them to keep learning on their own about NLP. Now if you're here for
the week...or for the 3 weeks...Then whats going to happen over this day is that your going
to get an introduction to this whole variety of things your going to learning over that period
of time..of course. So to introduce these techniques to you, what I want to do is do something
that is very simple, that incorporates all of the main NLP techniques. And something I said
yesterday is that there's nothing new in NLP. So NLP is a way of describing things that have
been happening all of your life. And NLP is a way of describing techniques that people used
in every culture around the world.

So since I also teach Traditional Chinese Exercise, I'm going to use a little process which is
usually taught in Traditional Chinese Exercise and use it as a way of introducing NLP. So the
process I'm going to introduce you to comes from my second hobby...(I have 2 hobbies and I
haven't had a real job for years)..I just have hobbies..So its the best I can do to look
professional is tell you about my hobbies. So my 1st hobby is NLP. And my 2nd hobby is
usually called in China Chi Kung. Chi actually just means Energy you know like Physical
Energy. And Kung means Work or Exercise. So it means Energy Exercises. Now I want to
give you a simple scientific way of understanding what the Chinese are meaning when they
say Chi Kung...So to do that can I get you to stand up...And the people from the back come
into the front here and we'll stand around in a circle. Now can you put up your hand if you've
never done anything that would be called :Energy Work or Chi Kung or anything like that...I
just want a couple of people like that beside each other...Can I just get you to hold this little
ball so that you're touching that little metal piece there with your right hand...and can you
hold it with your left hand so that you're not touching her...you're touching the metal...[ball
starts buzzing]...yeah its kind of tricky isn't it. Now can I get you to join hands around the

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group...[ball buzzes]..., So now could someone who has never done this sort of thing before
let go...somewhere across the group [buzz stops] Ok cool...Now join up again [buzz starts
again]...Let go [buzz stops] Join up...[buzz starts]. Ok now this is something very simple of
course...what is happening is that electricity is flying around the group.

And the reason why electricity is flying around the group...is that your body runs on
electricity. Now this is quite useful to know...But I just want to caution you before you go
home and try it out...that not just any electricity...Like its not just anything works...Otherwise
we could just plug into the mains and GOOD MORNING!!! and off we'd be for the day!!!
But your body runs on electricity and there are 3 main areas in the body that generate this
electricity. Now the brain is one of them. So all the cells in the brain generate this electricity.
And ah when we scan the brain we can see the electricity going across there...its called Brain
Waves. And if there are none of them by the way, if there is no electricity generated in the
brain...What do we call that? [Death] Yeah its a bad sign medically. Now there's another
place in the chest that generates electricity called the heart. And the heart over the last 2 years
its interesting how fast our ideas change..um in the West -...over the last 2 years they've
discovered that most of the cells that generate electricity in the heart are not actually heart
muscle which is where they've thought it must be generated...Its that the heart is actually
filled with nerve cells...So a lot of the tissue in the heart is nerve cells and thats why its
generating the pulse...generating the activity. And thats why the heart is functionally, kind
of like a brain. So it stores information just like the brain does. Which is why...I'm sure
you've heard...that when people get heart transplants..then they seem to have some of the
memories from the other person whose heart it was. Sort of freaky stuff. If you take
someones old heart and plug it into a computer and get some of their stuff... So anyway the
heart generates electricity...and if there is no electricity generated in the heart...in NZ we call
that?...Dead.. thats right, in NZ we call that dead...So thats not a good sign either. Now the
other place that generates electricity is in the abdomen. And the large area of nerve cells here
was only discovered.. 1st in the West.. I think in about 1992. And so there are more brain
cells, more nerve cells in the abdomen than in the whole lower brain and spinal cord
combined. So its a very large brain in the abdomen. And its called the mesenteric brain.
And in English we sometimes say I've got a gut feeling that something or other is
happening. And this is actually true...The brain in your gut ..the brain in your
abdomen..actually functions independently from the brain the head. So it doesn't follow
orders from the brain in the head. They are 2 separate thinking systems and again this
generates electricity here and stores information electrically as well. So if there is no
electricity in the body..the cells in the body are still alive of course...right? Most people have
heard of that...Like if we turn off the electricity in someones body, then the cells will stay
alive for several days (for about 3 days at least). So you knew that? The nails and the hair
still keep growing..everything functions but after a while it runs out of raw materials.
Because without the heart pumping blood around..of course then you can't get new materials
to the cells..so they die from of lack of materials. So they don't die because the person died.
So the person and the cells are different things...Are you clear about that?... If there's no
electricity, there's no person in there. It doesn't matter that all the cells are alive. This is very
important to understand...see because most people think...What I am is my cells but thats not
true at all...if someone dies, all of their cells are still perfectly alive...But you are the flow of
electricity around your body and the information thats on that electricity. So you are
something much more interesting in a way than just the cells.

Now, this is just standard western science but you'll notice that its a little surprising to hear

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because we don't talk about it in the west. Usually you think well I'm a physical body. But
yes, you have a physical body, but of course if there's no electricity running around it then its
not actually you...It's just a body. Ok so we've got that clear, so the next thing is...what is
flowing around on the electricity is kind of important...So its not just electricity...The
electricity carries informationso this is why just plugging you into the wall..won't do it,
because the electricity flowing across your brain is carrying information...thoughts, emotions,
interesting stuff, you know. And so we wouldn't want to delete that and just have electricity
there...that wouldn't do it...do you get that? So thoughts and feelings are carried electrically
through the body. Now theres a tricky thing about electricity...and that is...that its untidy
stuff...it doesn't stay neatly in one place...and it expands out into what we call...A Field.

So for those of you who know physics, you know that a field phenomenon like electricity
produces a field. This is why we can measure the brain waves without drilling into the head.
Something I'm sure many people who have been checked out medically are very thankful for.
So without drilling into the head we can just stick something on the outside of the head and
measure brain waves. Why? because the brain waves expand out from the head..right? Now
if we have a good enough instrument...and there are certainly plenty of these available...we
can measure the waves out here [demo] or out here [demo arms further out]... is this right?
Now if you know physics, how far out does a field like this go? It goes infinitely. Do you
understand that? It goes across the universe. It is centered in a certain place but technically
speaking it goes out across the universe. It just gets more and more hard to measure...Like
impossible with our current technology to measure it.. from even as far as the moon which
isn't very far in universal terms. But as a field..it goes across the universe. So what you are in
standard western science, what you are is a field phenomenon.. that spans the universe. Is this
right?..like this is trippy kind of weird stuff. And so we just don't talk about it much in the
west...right? But every culture has understood this for a long, long time. So you are a field,
and the thoughts and the emotions running around you right now as you think...What the hell
is he saying?..Can this be right?..This sounds a bit... So those thoughts are of course
available all around you. They expand out from your body because they are going through
you as electricity...as electrical information. Everything in your body depends on this
electricity flow. So when I move my hand, it depends on the electricity flowing down
there...right? Because otherwise I couldn't get that to happen...right? And so, how do I get
the electricity to move around my body? Well you just saw me do it...Look watch me do
it...so there you go...I just thought...And it moved my body, right? So how do you get
electricity to move around your body? You just think...And it goes.

By the way...That means The Secret DVD works a treat..in your own body. So, in your own
body..what you imagine..Does tend to happen...this is why you can walk. You just think..I'm
going to walk across the room...and watch this..[demo]..and then you can do it.. see this is
how it happens. So ah The other thing is of course,[demo with Search n Stim
Acupressure device for detecting body acupressure points electrically] .. that the electricity
doesn't flow evenly through the body. So ah could you put up your hand again if you're
someone who has never done something like this before...I just want someone who's what I
would call a naive subject and doesn't know what I'm going to do. Now what I'm going to do
is move this around on your hand.. [demo with Search n Stim ringing]...Lets just see... [as
R moves Search n Stim the ring response changes radically from slow low tone to
suddenly rapid and higher pitch sound]...tThere now can you hear the differences?...... Now
you might think that its because I'm holding it near the center of the hand...... But see this...
[demo R goes to the finger tip of the volunteer and gets a high pitch response].....So you can

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see, that its very different in different places....,right? And these places are of
course......, where the electricity flows better.....And thats because there is less
resistance....So, the electricity doesn't flow evenly through the body because....some of your
body tissue causes a resistance......And where it has less resistance......Then electricity flows a
little stronger.
And if we mark those points out of course......Then we will get the points that in several
different cultures around the world ......have already been mapped out. And even before they
had these little instruments......They had people who could feel where the points were.....And
of course as you know... In some parts of Asia some people put little needles in certain points
to stimulate the electrical flow. And the needles need to be made from something that is
actually magnetizable, they need to be made of metal. Which is why they work..... they
stimulate electrical flow. So ah this is kind of interesting.

Now the reason why its not so easy to demonstrate on myself is......I do some exercises each
morning which are designed to generate a little more of this..[demo with gizmo on Rs own
hand makes continuous high pitched response]... And so where ever I'm moving it around on
my hand (unfortunately this instrument is not set at the correct setting for my hand)...so its
the same across my hand. Well it takes 1 hours of exercise each morning...in case you're
wondering. So its very easy to generate more of this stuff. Now why would you want to do
that?......Because it's You...It carries You. So this energy is....LIFE....What I'm saying here is
pretty much normal understanding around most of the places where I teach around the world.
But in the European Cultures its pretty much a mystery..... Why?......Because everyone who
knew about this......We burned them all about 500 years ago.... Big mistake as it turns out......
Big mistake because they had such important information. So now people like me need to go
to places like China and train to get back the information that was always there in Europe. So
you'll notice that I haven't used the word .. aura .. at all while I've been explaining this. And
so its not necessary to have any particular beliefs about this. It's just a simple matter of fact
about human beings...right?...I don't have to explain this when I'm teaching in China and
Japan you understand.....They say Its common; get on with the real stuff....Its just in the
west that people go...Like what?...er ah er ah OK.. So you know how I told you about NLP
Party Tricks...well...Chi Kung Party Tricks... work just a treat. When I'm training in China in
Beijing the teachers there sometimes they do a trick where they take one of these florescent
(a smaller one I must say)...they take one of these florescent light bulbs...and they hold it in
their hands and they make it glow...they make it light up. They only use a small one because
actually to make it light up....they have to generate twice as much electricity in their body as
usual....And lets face it...there's not much use for this because everybody can get electricity
pretty much anywhere around the world....like there's the national grid... you know..its not
like people have to generate their own electricity in the evening...So it is really an
entertainment. And the teachers there have other tricks too of course...I remember when I was
1st learning....I was a complete skeptic at 1st of course...you know...like I trained as a nurse as
you know and I've trained in the body and how it works you know....and its all matter, of
course...its physical stuff. So anyway my teacher in China was telling me that his teacher
was very good at generating more electricity. He could do things like he could create a
magnetic pulse and there could be a metal cup like they have in China..there could be a metal
cup on a table and he could and he could put his hand out...
and he could make it move towards his hands, so he didn't have to reach across the
table...Again completely useless......you know because all you have to do is reach...right? So,
when he.. (my teacher) .. told me this..., I went [demo; raising eyebrows]... which is NZ
for...bullshit detector now activated. And he says alright I'll show you something. Have you

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got some one yuan coins? (one yuan is slightly bigger than a NZ 50cent coin). In China, they
are made of iron. So he puts one on his forehead and it sticks there but thats no big deal
because your forehead is a little sticky in case you haven't noticed...like I wasn't impressed.
But then he put another one on top of that and it stayed there as well ...and then I
thought...Son of a gun...And then he said, Pull it away...So I pull this coin away from his
head and out to about here [demo 2-3 centimetres] and I could feel it was like a magnet and
when I let go of it ... it went straight back to his head. Again, completely useless...but just an
interesting demonstration. Unless your a pick pocket and I'm sure there's easier ways to earn
a living. Again, completely useless but a really interesting demonstration of whats going on
in human beings. That you've got this electrical field and this electrical field is essential for
life. So I just want to explain this. When I say Chi Kung...the Chi means Energy and people
go..Oh Dear! But its just a science thing. Ok have a seat.

In this little process we're going to do...the Chi Kung process we're going to do then...Is just
imagining something in your body. So we're not going to have to move around and do any
exercises. Right now we're just going to imagine something...because as I've just
mentioned...if you imagine things in your body, then the electricity flows where you're
imagining it. And in order to make this work we are going to do something physically
though because one of the key things we would use in NLP to help people change.....is to
change the way they use their body...their physiology. And in this exercise one of the things
that we're going to do is I'm going to get you to do is...I'm going to get you to sit with your
back straight.

Which again...is very easy to explain in Japan...but not so simple in NZ. So in Japan people
have developed this fascinating ability where they can sit with their back straight...and they
don't have to lean. And what happens in NZ of course, is that by the end of the day...mostly
people are sitting in this kind of position [demo slouching] you see. If you've come from
some where else you've noticed this position in NZ. Now the problem with this position is
that the back is bent...and so the electricity flow...meets resistance. And so if we
check...there's 50% less electricity getting to the feet when I'm sitting like this. [demo
slouching] And so when you sit like this.. [demo straight back].. you have 50% more
intelligent feet. And I mean...this has got to be good for you...right? Ok so for this exercise,
I promise its going to take less than 10 minutes, So its not really going to be that big of a
challenge for you to sit straight for that length of time. So we're going to sit with our backs
straight and...then what we're going to do is we're going to place the hands together. And so
there's no magic in this... you saw whats happening... there's electricity kind of flowing out
everywhere. So if you put your hands together it creates a little circuit for it. And my
recommendation in the same way when we do this...Is to place your tongue on the roof of
your mouth. Now I want to tell you why we're doing this......We're doing it to give you a bit
of energy for the day and we're also doing it because its a 5 minute relaxation. I mentioned
yesterday that if we do 5 minutes of relaxation when you're doing a learning process...you'll
remember 25 % more. Is this useful? Like this turns out to be about a 9-10 hour training
that you can pack in you see. And so that's one of the main reasons why we're going to do this
is..relaxation. Now we're going to sit with our body like this...and the one other thing we're
going to do with our body that is very useful for your energy levels is...I'm going to get you to
lift up the corners of your mouth...which you'll remember from yesterday..is a secret NLP
process..that we call...The Smile :-) Thats right....So we're going to do The Smile...

And then we're going to do an NLP process we call anchoring. Now I'm not teaching it yet,

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I'm going to be teaching it this afternoon. But just to explain what it is......Anchoring is
where you step back into an experience that you've had before...into a resource experience.
Do you remember I used that term yesterday. So remember a time when you had a
feeling...and step back into it. Now you all know how that happens...Sometimes you'll have
been listening to a song on the radio...that you heard years ago...when the song 1st came
out...And that song reminds you of that time...and all the things that were happening in your
life at that time.....and ah, you know that sort of thing?...And all the whole feeling comes
back to you...and the memory of peoples voices and things like that...And that process is
called anchoring. In western psychology it was called classic conditioning originally. I don't
know for you...but...classical conditioning doesn't sound good...you know...like it doesn't
sound like something you're meant to do...to people...And Anchoring is something that
happens all the time. Anchoring, like its not just when you hear the song on the radio......The
way you're understanding these words I'm saying is because they anchor you back into
experiences. When I say the word anchor...for some of you an image of a anchor comes into
your mind. If you've ever been in a boat where they have an anchor...then actually you can
feel it...the weight of it...and you can hear that clinking sound as its let out. And so,
anchoring is a fundamental part of how living things respond. And what it means is that ...
When you remember an experience that you've had before...Your body re-experiences it.

Now why would this be an advantage? What we're going to do in the Inner Smile is we're
going to remember a time when you had the feeling of love...A time that is enjoyable to
remember. So we have a lot of research as I started mentioning yesterday....about the feeling
of love... It turns out that its very good for you. So the universe has done a very smart thing
here...Because, you know...... love is actually very good for other people as well...have you
noticed this? So ah, since it keeps.... You Alive....Then its an advantage to You ......To be
nice to other people.....This is what the research shows. I only do it because of the
research..you know. And so the research shows that......Here's an example of the research
thats quite interesting.....They had people watching some movies. And they had them ah
watching a gardening movie for example. And before they watch the movie..they take off
some blood..and they check their blood for the level of immunity...,the level of protection
against disease. And then they check them after the movie. And after the gardening
movie...nothing much happened...so it was a disappointing gardening movie. And then they
showed them a political broadcast. Now I thought that might crash their immune system but
luckily..it was the same after the political movie. And then they showed them a movie about
Mother Theresa, who is this person working in Calcutta. And in this film..she's talking a lot
about love. And at the end they check their blood again and it turns out that their level of
immunity has suddenly risen. Now the most interesting thing about this though.....Is that,
then they hand out a questionnaire and they ask...So what did you think of the films? And
about 1/3 of the people said I didn't like Mother Theresa at all.....She's an apologist..she's
apologizing for the Roman Catholic Church. And she's against womens rights....And she's
got all sorts of beliefs that I don't have and I didn't like it. And ah, but you see...their body
immunity rose anyway. You see, your body doesn't mind...That's the...you know what I'm
going to call it...right? Thats that part of your brain at the front..that analyses: is this real or
not?...thats what minds.... But your body just em-bodies what you are experiencing. So if
you listen to someone talking about love....Then your body starts to create this feeling of
love. Even though your conscious mind might be thinking....No this isn't working for
me...This is really important to understand...because you don't have to believe...that this is
working...for it to be working. Only your conscious mind functions like that. You can be
quite sure there's no lemons here...,but it'll still happen. So this is quite important...especially

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when people have this feeling of being in love. It produces a profound change in your body.
And one of the things that happens is your immunity is boosted. One of the things that
happens is that your vision and your hearing gets clearer. All of your senses get clearer. You
know..the birds sound nicer and the flowers they smell sweeter and they look more beautiful
and the color is more intense and ....Thats real....thats not imagined...thats actually
happening in your body. So this is a very useful feeling and what we're going to do as we do
this little relaxation is to get you to remember a time when you had that feeling. It could be a
time when you had that feeling of being in love.....It could be from a time when you were
feeling love for a child....An animal....Or a plant...it could have been a time when you were
feeling devotional love, like gratitude to the universe, the power behind the universe sort of
thing. Any of that will do. And the advantage is.. your body gets those kinds of benefits.

So the next thing we're going to do is an NLP process of course and its a process that
unconsciously highly successful people are using all the time. So they get themselves into
the state of mind they want to be in. So when they are going to a meeting and they need to be
dynamic...just walking into the meeting gets them pumped up. Do you see whats happening
here? They don't have to think how the heck am I going to get my myself excited here? They
walk into the meeting...when they see that, when they hear the people talking they feel
excited. When they sit down with someone who is upset about something and they want to
listen to them...they feel empathetic. They automatically feel compassionate. So they don't
have to work at it...they're anchored in to each feeling that they need for each situation. I'm
going to show you how to do that. Now this is happening automatically. And ah thats a way
for example that people have problems like addictions, because addictions are pure
anchoring. If you can do an addiction then you can do anchoring. Cause its like people see
something...and they've got to eat it...thats anchoring. They see something...and they've got
to drink it...thats just anchoring. Its an anchored response. So we can use this instead to
create this feeling of love. Now the next thing that we're going to do in this simple 5 minute
process is use what NLP refers to as submodalities. Do you remember that yesterday I was
saying that there's a kinesthetic area at the top of the brain, and an auditory area on the sides,
and a visual area at the back? But its a little more detailed than that. These areas are what
European psychology would call modalities. So the sensory systems are modalities.

Inside each sensory system, there are little areas inside the brain that we call sub-modalities.
So theres a little area inside the visual area which controls color, and that is a submodality.
Now if that area is damaged...if its damaged on one side of my visual cortex...then when I
look out here across the room...then one side of my vision will be black/white and the other
side color, its freaky stuff . So there have been some people who have had that happen...there
has been some artists unfortunately who have had the very specific little piece of brain
damaged that cause their color area to get damaged. One of them actually is a very famous
case where the guy committed suicide. It wasn't just that he couldn't see colors to paint
anymore...He couldn't remember colors. Do you see, when you remember, you have to use
the same part of the brain of course. Thats why when someone is depressed...They don't
remember being happy. Because they use their depressed brain to run through memories. So
ah they'll tell you..I've never really been happy...I thought I was but I wasn't. Because when
they think of it now...they run it through their depression. So the person who has their color
part damaged would have difficulty seeing color. There's another area here that produces
movement...because your eyes can't see movement. Your eyes can only take still photos.
And the visual area that produces movement joins them together exactly like a movie camera
does...and it makes it look like a movie. Now if that area is damaged on one side of the

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persons brain...when a car drives across in front of them...they'll see...still photo..still
photo...still photo of the moving car. So, this is quite interesting these little submodality
areas.

Now remember I said yesterday that a lot of NLP happens in the bit in the middle? And
here's how thats important in terms of submodalities...When we change the submodalities in
one sense...very specific changes will happen to the submodalities in the other senses. So if
we paint this room red...you will think that its 2 degrees warmer. If we paint this room
blue...you will think this room is 2 degrees colder. Its very precise. So do you get that the
submodalities of the colors visually are directly correlated with the submodalities of
kinesthetic..the experience of warmth. So if we have certain kinds of noise then you will
experience them physically as certain kinds of emotions. So a loud screeching noise..at a
certain decibel will be experienced as fear. Which is why the movie directors use it. So when
they want you to feel fear at a certain point in the movie..they don't even have to show you
anything thats happening thats frightening, they just have to produce this noise that we
know is correlated with the submodalities that causes the feeling of fear. Do you get how this
could be useful though? Cause if you could understand the links...you could create the
emotional state that you want. And people who are really good at it.. they do that.. they
change the submodalities. All around the world, people in their languages describe things in
submodality terms. In English I can say...My life has been very gloomy..dark. Now you
know what emotion I'm talking about right? Because you know the submodality correlation.
But everything brightened up yesterday.

Now you know what I mean right? I just said something visually but you understand that
when I said brightened up, what I mean is that I'm feeling better. Because the submodality
link is absolute. If I brighten things up...it feels better. And of course this happens when I
think of a memory as well. So when people feel sad...they darken all their memories.
(especially their fun ones) And then when they look at them they're not as much fun. You
gotta know how to do those things you see. Otherwise they'd brighten them up by
accident...and that would spoil it cause they'd have to feel happy through the day.... Nah, I'm
only kidding. So you understand the idea of submodalities. We're going to use it in this
process. We're going to Smile and we're going to just check through your body, and just
imagine that its got all nice colors in it. Because when people don't feel well they think of
their body in unhelpful colors. Dark, gloomy, murky. And so this little process came from
China and they have a color scheme for the body. I don't know if it really means anything at
all..but you know its one way of thinking about it. So they have various colors for the
various bits and pieces. Like the heart is red...and things like that. It may just be their color
scheme..its not important...But the fact that its in nice colors is..Thats important because it
changes how your body feels. And you don't have to believe in it, thats the great thing.
Einstein, you know Albert Einstein (he was a scientist right?) and one day he...There was a
guy came in to see hima reporter...in his home. And he noticed that Einstein had a horse
shoe on his wall.

Now in Europe and sometimes in Asia as well..people used to put a horse shoe on their wall
(this way up, like a cup)..And the idea was that it somehow caught luck. - Lucky Horse Shoe
- And the reporter says to Einstein..Dr Einstein you've got a horse shoe on your wall. Yes
says Dr Einstein. So the reporter says, Well surely you're a scientist...you don't believe in
superstitions like that. Oh no I don't believe in that says Einstein. So the reporter says, If I
can ask you then...why do you have it on the wall? And Einstein said, ah well you see that is

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the interesting thing,..It works whether you believe in it or not. What Einstein was trying to
say is...There's a part of your brain that detects whether it works rationally...whether it
believes in it rationally...But thats not what makes things like this work. We know for
example that most of the effect when you go to a medical practitioner, and they give you
pills, most of the effect is whats called placebo..right? And we know that because they do
research on placebos. See what they do is they do research and they give the people a
placebo (which is a pretend pill) and they give the other of the people the real pill. Now
here's what happens, placebos reliably have between 40-70% of the effectiveness of the real
pill. Now what does that tell you? It tells you that 40-70% of the effectiveness of every
pill...is made up...its not true. But that doesn't matter....that doesn't matter....It doesn't even
matter when I tell you that. Aspirins will still work..Even when I tell you..look..its 70% made
up. Here's a funny thing..If we give someone a placebo aspirinwe tell them its an aspirin
but its not...it will have 60% of the effectiveness of aspirin. If we give someone an injection
of morphinethats actually just water...it has 60% of the effectiveness of morphine. Which
by the way is a little stronger than aspirin. So This is very interesting to know
because...This works even when your mind knows...ah no, this is just a placebo. Your body
doesn't mind. Now what this emphasizes..is its very important for you to get clear when its
good for you to do reality testing...and when its not. If someone has severe pain..then they
need to learn to stop reality testing. Do you see why? Because if they could stop reality
testing then they can take placebos and then their pain will go away. So I have a DVD of me
working with woman who has severe pain and she's been taking morphine like drugs for 10
months..she's had the pain everyday..And it takes us about a an hour and the pain
disappears totally. And she was a very skeptical person...so I needed to do quite a lot of
work..you know.. and it took a whole hour to make it totally go away...before she'd let it
go. Because she was sooo skeptical (she was trained as a psychologist...you see the problem
right?) So she had this kind of...Ah, so whats the research on this...thing going on. But you
see, it doesn't really matter inside your body..if you imagine a result inside your body and you
get that result, then thats what you're after...that produces the changes in the chemicals.

So anyway, now what I'm doing is... I'm pre teaching a whole lot of NLP. Physiology
changes.. Anchoring.. Submodalities. And there's one other basic kind of NLP change
process and its called Reframing. You know how pictures look different in different
frames. And so the Chinese had this idea that if you understand your emotions in a different
way...it makes a difference to your experience of them. And let me explain what I mean.
Now mostly, people around the world understand that anger is not a very pleasant emotion to
have..it's not enjoyable..and actually its not really good for your body as well...to be angry.
But it has a survival value..doesn't it? Like when people get angry..then they have a lot of
energy in their body...and their much more able to protect themselves. And if you watch a cat
that gets into a corner...have you ever seen this happen?...the dog gets the cat backed into a
corner and the cat lifts itself up and it hisses and snarls and it looks really angry..and it gives
it this enormous amount of energy to fight back. So what the Chinese said is...Anger is a
kind of a signal...And it tells you...that its time to be kind to yourself as well as to others. It
doesn't tell you to punch someone else.. It says to look after your own needs as well as
looking after others needs. Now this is an understanding that we have in NLP by the way.
And I mentioned yesterday that one of the women who was studied by the developers of NLP
right at the start..a woman called Virginia Satir...and she was really the developer of family
therapy...and she said...People don't understand often what emotions are. And they
sometimes have this idea that anger and sadness are not very nice emotions. And its kind of
like she said...Emotions are like the little red lights in your car...where if your running out of

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petrol this little red light comes on...stuff like that...Now anger is a warning...it lets you know
that something is getting low in there...you need to look after something. And of course what
happens is that when people get annoyed with these little lights...they think..I don't like that
and they do something like .. cut the wires to the lights.....so they don't feel anger and they
don't feel sad.....and their car falls to pieces quick...Do you see the risk? But then of course
what has happened in the west over the last 100 years...is something different. When people
have anger and sadness...they go to therapists. And sometimes they get the idea from their
therapy that...anger and sadness in themselves are good things. So what they do is they run
their car so that its almost out of petrol, almost out of oil, almost out of water, so all the red
lights are showing...and then they think... Now I'm Alive! And they feel angry, they feel sad,
and they feel frustrated all the time and they think see I'm alive now! Before I couldn't feel
these things. But thats not the point of it...The point of the little red lights...Is to change..to
do something. The reason why babies cry...isn't because its good for their lungs. Despite the
fact that we believed that in the west for many, many years..you know this idea of Let them
cry its good for their lungs. The reasons why babies cry is because they want something to
change...Its a signal...And emotions are like that..they are signals that something needs to
happen. And so they're neither good nor bad. Do you get that? They're not like lets be angry
and punch pillows and stuff like that...or lets be sad and cry all day and somehow think that
will get it out. It doesn't get it out. If you leave the red light on in the car....it doesn't release
the redness somehow....You've got to fill up the oil, or what ever it is. It doesn't matter how
long you leave the red light on...it doesn't fix it. This is really important to know. Cause
there's people who get the idea if they're angry for long enough...it'll some how fix it. And
from the research we know..that this is simply not true. The more people practice anger...the
angrier they get The more people practice sadness...the sadder they get.....It doesn't ever
stop....from the research. So the research is very, very thorough about this! And we just had
a whole generation who thought the opposite...in the west. And so they had this idea that if
you cry enough...somehow it releases the tears which I mean it does physically release
the tears...but its very stressful for the body...and the more hours a person spends crying..then
the more physical health problems they get. Its the opposite of the love thing. So the Chinese
say anger is a signal to be kind to yourself as well as others and its just one way of looking
at it, so reframe means put it in another frame. So anger isn't a bad thing...but its not a
good thing...It's a signal...It says be kind to yourself as well as others.

Now here's the twist on it...The Chinese have the idea..(as all cultures tended to at one
time)..that anger is transformed into kindness in a certain place in the body...that its
associated more with a certain place in the body...the liver. I'll show you were that is...the
liver is on the right hand side of the body..even if you are left handed. So the liver is this
thing on the right side here...you can see I've drawn it in green. Now in most languages the
liver and the gall bladder are associated with anger. In English the word ( livid ) means
angry. In English the word ( galled ) from gall bladder...means angry. And in every
language across Europe thats true...Most languages around the world..most Asian
languages..thats true. So ah American Indian languages..thats true. So across the world
there is a very long standing understanding that the liver is associated with anger. See its
still there in the language even though we burned all the people who knew why...
we still say livid. And the Chinese idea is that the liver when its working well..transforms
anger into Being Kind To Yourself and Others...You don't have to believe ityour clear about
this right...Its just an idea that everyones had around the world. Now the heart..the Chinese
say transforms hastiness into the feeling of love and gratitude. I'll explain why, When
someone is rushing around...you know how I said yesterday that success and happiness

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overlap but they are not the same thing?...Success means getting what you want...and
Happiness means wanting what you get. Now when someone is rushing... stressed is what
we call it in the west...when they're stressed and rushing around trying to achieve
everything..trying to be successful all the time...that is a signal and its a signal to shift to the
other side and feel happy...feel gratitude for what you have already. Instead of rushing after
the future.

Do you get the reframe...? So people say...why am I so stressed..why am I so stressed?

Because your rushing after that instead of appreciating this It's obvious, but what the
Chinese are saying is...Treat this as a signal don't take pills for it. don't go to therapists
for it. Treat it as a simple signal that says..when you're rushing when you feel under
pressure when you're stressed That is a signal that you are not allowing yourself enough
time to feel gratitude like What a wonderful life you've been given how extraordinary
this is If you're rushing around you must have an abundance of something. Cause there's
people who wake up and they don't know what to do with their day. So if you're
rushing...Feel this sense of ..Love, Gratitude, Appreciation. Do you get how this...It changes
the meaning of it...Thats What Reframing is. Now here's another one...The Chinese say...
Stuckness is transformed by the Spleen. Now we had the same understanding in Europe. So
in English its like this that...When someone is stuck...If they then release their stuckness..,
this is called Venting the Spleen. No one knows what it means anymore..cause we burned
all the people who knew. So, the spleen is over here on the other side (even if you're left
handed its on your left) And it stores red blood cells. And the spleen and pancreas in this
way of traditional medicine way of thinking are connected together. The pancreas produces
insulin..you know..This is a good example of how thinking changes things in the body by the
way. You've heard of people who have split personalities. Well split personalities is where
one day they wake up as one person and the next day they wake up as someone else. And ah
so this is usually a nuisance. Here's one of the most interesting things about it...and again I
have lots of research about this, often the person has a disease in their body when they are
one of their personalities and they don't have that disease when they are the other personality.
And Diabetes is an example in many cases of it. The person in one of their personalities has
diabetes and they need injections of insulin...and in the other personality their pancreas
functions perfectly. It's very common for the person when they are one personality to have
perfect eye sight, and when they are the other personality for them to have severely bad eye
sight...Very common...And when we measure...it takes them about 30 seconds to change from
one personality to the other.

[Note: a class participant asks the question... How does this happen?] YES See there is the
NLP attitude of curiosity...All we need to do is find out...How they do that...and model
that...Without the personality changes...of course. So the pancreas is connected to the spleen
in Chinese thinking, and it transforms stuckness. They say stuckness is a signal...if you feel
like your thinking over and over and you can't move with something. Then what they
say...Thats a signal...to do something different...don't keep doing the same thing. So the
basic idea is...if your doing something and its ..not working..not working...not working..and
they keep thinking about it and it goes no where...and they think...If I just keep doing this...it
will fix it somehowYou know..like more of the same will work..(not) Thats why people
when they are depressed, they keep thinking about the past. Thats what depression is right?
So you know who they go to, in order to get that fixed.........Of Course...it immediately occurs
to them....I need to think more about my past....So they go to therapists and talk about their
past. Which is exactly the problem. So they talk more and more about it and they think more

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and more about it and they get more and more depressed. And then they think I've got to get
in touch with my past even more than I can with this therapist. You know? More of the same
doesn't work. If your stuck...Do something different. Thats what the Chinese say...Its a
signal.
So stuckness is a signal to be open to new ways.

Sadness: Now sadness the Chinese say is transformed in the lungs. [R breathes in and sighs
out]...like getting something off your lungs,..getting off your chest. And the Chinese say
sadness is like this, its kind of like this, when someone is sad-grieving, theyre holding onto
something that need to be let go of. Does this make sense? But its like holding in a breath...
[demo] I'm not going to let go of this breath its my favorite breath..I really like it and I'll
never get another one like it. Unfortunately this is not conducive to life. You've actually got
to let it go. bye-bye breath And then breath again. So the Chinese say...Your lungs
transform sadness into the courage to know whats right to let go of and whats right to hold
on to. Sometimes people don't get that.....When you let go of something from your life, you
actually do hold on to the things that were precious in there to you, just as when you breathe
out, the oxygen from the air you let go of is still there and becomes part of your body. People
who grieve effectively, have good memories of the thing they've let go of, or the person
they've let go of. They don't spend their life remembering all the bad things that have
happened. And they don't spend their life thinking..I'll never get that experience again. They
know that they have it forever. And they know that they have life now, where they will find
those kinds of things in other ways as well. So thats the signal of sadness, the Chinese
say.....Have the courage to let go of whats good to let go of and hold on to what is good for
you to hold on to.

Now the final thing the Chinese have one of these reframes for is: They say the kidneys
transform fear. Now you may know that on top of the kidneys in simple western terms are
the adrenal glands. And the adrenals produce adrenalin when your either angry or afraid in
fact, and so the kidneys actually do have a lot to do functionally with fear. But the Chinese
say that fear is a signal that....You're pushing to hard....You're pushing yourself too hard and
its time to be gentle with yourself, lighten up. Its like when people get frightened when I ask
them to do an exercise in a training...And I say, how many times have you done this? You
know, lighten up. This is your 1st time doing this...goodness gracious do you expect to be an
expert at it? So, fear means be gentle with yourself. Now what I've just done with you here,
is offer you some of the most fundamental re frames I think in NLP. Because these
emotions here by the way, because if you worked as a coach these are the problems that
people come to you with. And this list comes from China but its pretty much the same in NZ
as it is in China. And its pretty much the same where ever I go around the world....that if
people could deal with anger, stress, sadness, and fear, and effectively transform them into
these positive qualities, they'd feel really good. And I'd be out of a job.

So, we're going to do this little process....Is this cool? And you've got the basic idea here,
you don't have to believe in this, its just a relaxation process. You check your back is
straight. And what I'm going to do is get you to have your hands connected together. You can
sort of have them in any position you like, what ever feels right for you, but having them
connected relaxes the front of your body, and if we check with that little instrument..the
energy flows around. And then remember a time when you had this feeling of love. A time
thats enjoyable to remember when you had the feeling of love. And step back into your body
and feel what it feels like. Remember what you were seeing at that enjoyable time, what you

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were hearing. And feel what its like to have that feeling of love. And imagine you can draw
it into the brain and flow it across your face so your face smiles...and just so you know thats
where the corners of your mouth...thats right...this is an important part of it. And so as you
lift up the corners of your mouth smile down through your body...1st of all smile through your
neck. In the neck there is the thyroid and the parathyroid glands that keep you going at the
right speed and strengthen your body.... Nice Job...and appreciate what theyre doing. And in
the upper chest theres the thymus gland that sends healthy T cells around your body and
keeps you healthy and well...Its doing a great job there. And smile to your heart. The heart
sends the blood easily and comfortably through your body. And of course in the heart as well,
any hastiness or rushing that was there is changed into that sense of joy, love, gratitude, as
you fill the heart with shining red light.....(its just a color scheme . whatever you like) And
then flow the smile out to the lungs...Good Morning Lungs. Taking air in from the air around
you and breathing out whats right to breath out....and transforming any sadness into that
ability to know whats right to hold onto and whats right to let go of. Filling the lungs with
shining white light. And smiling down on the right hand side through the liver....as the liver
stores and performs 100's of functions actually. And in the liver as well, any anger that was
there, is transformed into that kindness to yourself as well as others. Filling the liver with
shining green lightif you want a color scheme... And smiling on the left through the
pancreas as it balances your blood sugar and helps your digestion...Nice job. And through the
spleen as it stores red blood cells. And in the pancreas and spleen, any stuckness, thoughts
that were going round and round are transformed into an openness to new ways...new ideas.
And smile around to the back at waist height... on top of the kidneys, the adrenals give you a
burst of energy for the day...and then relax. As the kidneys filter the blood and balance the
fluids in your body. Fill the kidneys with shining deep blue light....and transform any fear
that was there into gentleness. Thats all it was signaling...be gentle with yourself as well as
others. And flow the smile...down through the sexual organs....urinary system....and through
those glands that balance the cycles of life....the cycle of each day....the cycle of each month.
And then imagine you can kind of spiral the smile into the lower brain....thats in the
abdomen there, in China they call it Dan-tien. to be a kind of store of energy for the day. (a
gut feeling of something good) And that means you can find the smile again between your
eyes and this time flow it to the mouth. And imagine you could swallow the smile...down
through the stomach....the gall bladder....the small and large intestines....appreciating the
whole process of digestion. And while youre there, appreciate all the food thats available
today....a sense of gratitude for all of the food. May the food that you eat today be good for
your body.... your mind.... your spirit. And then spiral the smile into that place called Dan-
tien to be a store of energy. And then you find it again between your eyes.

And this time we're going to connect both sides of the brain and its a really simple little
exercise we do with our eyes. So you can still have your eyes closed if you like. Look up
towards the ceiling....and then look across to the right side..right across to the right....and then
down to the floor....and then look right across to the left....and up to the ceiling again. So
thats a circle. And now circle them again, and this connects the 2 sides of the brain and so
around a 2nd time...and then circle around a 3rd time down the right and up the
left....4....5....6....7....8....9 times. And then we're going to circle down the left and up the
right....so around once....2....3....4....5....6....7....8....9 times. And then flow the smile back
into the brain where all those learnings that support your excellence are stored. And smile
through the areas of the brain where you understand those basic presuppositions of NLP.
You know, *The map is not the territory *That life is built of systems...everything is
connected. And then appreciate your ability to set goals that are: *Sensory Specific

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*Positive *Ecological *Choice Increasing *Initiated by You *With Your 1st step
Identified *Your Internal Resources Identified. And flow the smile down through the areas
of the brain that balance your body. And down through the spinal cord and out through the
nerve cells to reach every cell in your body. And since its a field, flow that smile into you
from the infinite source of love behind the universe. (I'm just presupposing there is one for
the exercise) And flow it out of Your entire body And out across the entire room And
beyond the room and out across all of the city Out across all of the country Out across
the other Islands...Continents Out across the whole world Sending that feeling of
Love and Gratitude out across the world. And then just check back in your body, in this
room. And if there's anywhere there was more energy than you needed, spiral it into that
place.. Dan-tien to be a store of energy for the day. And gently come back to being here in the
room. Took a bit to explain....But there you go. Five minutes to Relaxation: 25% more
Learning. I only do it for the information you know.

So, today we're going to be doing some things which are about flexibility. To be successful,
I set goals, I do things, I check what information I get back from doing those things, And
then I adjust, based on that. And if I'm working with people...that means I adjust what I'm
doing so that it fits for them. And the reason is not just to help them, its helps me as well.
Everything I do depends on this ability to adjust. So that what I'm saying and doing makes
sense in other peoples map of the world. Inspiring other people depends on
that...Convincing other people of things depends on that...Cooperating with other people
depends on that...And helping them depends on that as well. So all the things we call
communication depends on my ability to understand whats going on inside someone else and
adjust what I do so that it fits with them.

Now the developers of NLP, remember I mentioned this guy named Milton Erickson..
(remember the guy with the horse).. Milton Erickson was a psychiatrist so sometimes he
worked in psychiatric hospitals. And one time he was working in a psychiatric hospital there
and they had this guy named George. And thats all they knew about this guy, was that his
name was George. Now George had this real kind of condition; he had a problem because he
spoke in this thing called Word Salad. Now I can't really demonstrate this Word salad for
you because its really a skillful thing to do. I did see when I was working in psychiatric
hospitals myself, I did see 1 or 2 people who could do it. And what it is, is they say words
but they don't connect them into sentences. So that they sometimes have a phrase or a couple
of words connected together but thats all. But if I start doing it..then it starts making sense
like I can say [demo shows that even trying to say a few words that don't connect to make
sense R can't do because it because it starts to join together into ideas.] And the person who's
really good at speaking in Word Salad they just chop it all up like a salad of words..you
know..all chopped up and mixed together. And George could do this. And so what he did all
day, was he sat out in a place, just kind of staring at a wall and on the wall was a clock..and
thats how he knew it was time for his lunch and for his dinner. And thats all he did all day
was he sat there, and if someone spoke to him he would speak back in word salad. Now there
is a problem with word salad...Its not a good way to win friends and influence people. And
so George had no friends, very little influence, and ah not so much fun in his life. And no
one had been able to communicate with George and he'd lived there for 5 years. Now Milton
Erickson sat down near George and he watched him through the day. And he noticed that
George paid attention to the clock, he always got up immediately when it was time for his
meals and so on. And Milton also noticed the rate at which he was breathing. And he noticed
when someone spoke to him what kind of words George would use. And he made notes,

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and he had extensive notes of Georges word salad. And then he went away and practiced
speaking in Georges style of word salad, until he could do it really well. And then he came
back and he sat down next to George and he said Hello George I'm Milton Erickson, I'm a
Dr. here. And of course George looked at him in shock because no one from the staff really
spoke to George. And George spoke back in word salad for 2 minutes. Now Milton listened
really carefully..noticing on the clock it had been about 2 minutes, and then he spoke back to
George for 2 minutes in word salad. And this time George was really shocked you know...he
listened in astonishment. Well at the end of that 2 minutes George spoke in word salad for 2
hours!! And Milton listened very carefully. And at the end of that 2 hours..Milton spoke back
in that same kind of word salad for 2 hours!! And all that time George listened in
astonishment... (they missed lunch of course) And so, that was enough for one day so the next
day Milton came back.. (even a little worse..by now the staff are filling out forms to commit
Milton).. And so the next day George spoke to Milton in word salad for 4 hours!!!!..like
straight through lunch..Milton listened very carefully....and then Milton spoke back in the
same word salad for 4 hours!!!!..right through dinner]. And at the end of that..8 hours solid of
word salad....George turned to Milton and said.. Talk some sense Dr.!! And Milton said
Alright I will. My name is Milton Erickson, I'm a Dr. and whats your name? My name is
George O' Donahugh and I've been in this place for 5 years and not a single person has
known how to speak to me. So over the next few days George spoke in word salad less and
less. And by 3 weeks later he couldn't speak in word salad anymore. Now its a basic rule of
psychiatric hospitals, that you have to have at least 1 unusual and interesting thing that you
can do to be allowed to stay there. It's not like a hotel where you can just pay the money and
you get in...You've really got to be able to do something unusual. And when George lost the
ability to speak word salad..he had to go out into the worldhe would have to find
something else to do, he lost his hobby. And so, he left the hospital and he went out. And it
was about 3 months before Milton got a letter from him. And the letter he got was quite
interesting and it said George had found a job, he'd started dating a young woman and ah it
seemed like he'd been enjoying his life out there. And about way through the letter there
was something a little scary...there was a sentence of word salad. And Milton read it and
thought Hmm maybe this is a message? Maybe George is going crazy again and this is a
warning letter. And it wasn't until he got to the end of the letter that Milton understood why
George had put the word salad sentence there..........But you understand that what Milton has
done with George..Is something no one else has been able to do. Because everyone
thought..to change George..we have to be different to him.

Do you get it? Its such a basic misunderstanding. To get someone to change..Its not so
important to be different to them as it is to start off by being similar enough so that they'll
come with youthats the trick...If you want someone to change..you've got to start off near
where they areso they know who to follow....And there's just no other way around it. I
know its frustrating and you'd rather be off somewhere talking normal....Hopefully you don't
have too many people in your life who speak word salad...Cause that could take a couple of
days to fix. So what Milton was really good at was ..he was really good at paying attention to
what was going on with people..and adjusting so that he matched them. I want to show you
an example before you go away for a break..I want to show you an example of what Milton
noticed....that no one had really noticed very much..in ah..western psychology until then. And
in order to do this, I need 3 people..I need 3 naive subjects. Which means 3 people who
don't know much about NLP. So if you've been reading all the NLP books this isn't for you.
Because I want to show you that you don't have to know NLP for this to happen. So what I
want is 3 people and all I'm going to do is ask you to think. You're not even going to have to

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even say anything..just let me know when you've thought about what I've asked you to think
about...and its a bit like yesterday when I asked you to think of somebody you like and
somebody you don't like. Can I have 3 volunteers...to think, youre just going to think,
(you'll get to see what happens afterwards) Cool thanks very much.

Now can I check 1st..are any of you left handed? Ok so if you just stay there and look in this
direction.. and the other people can you just move so you can see both sides of these peoples
faces. Because I'm going to give them some instructions..and I'll let you see the instructions
afterwards. But for now if you could just look this way, and I'm going to show them the
instructions up here. The instruction I'd like you to follow is this... [ R places notice on the
board instructing people to watch the 3 peoples eye movements as they think about his
questions]. Ok so I'm going to talk to them in a moment and thats the deal...got that? Ok, so
the 1st thing I want you to think about is...You know how in this room theres some windows
and theres several pieces of glass in the windows right? I'd like you to have a check here and
in the main room of the place that you live..apartment or house..in that main room, How
many pieces of glass are there in the windows? (make sure you know)..Can I check, none of
you are left handed?..right..right ok cool. Ok here's another question then, What about if
..um.. you know often people say..I wish there was more window space in here you know...If
we were going to put more window space in that room, where would you put it?...Do you
know?..have you got that? Ok so now here's another kind of question...Often in the place
that you live...one or other of the doors makes a noise when you close it... So what I'd like
you to check is...Which door makes the most noise in the house youre living at present. You
got that?..sure?..ok Alright, so here's another question..um..Sometimes if you oil the hinges,
then that stops the noise..it depends on what the kind of noise is...If we oiled the hinges on
that door, would it sound any different, would it solve...do you? yeah check that...do you
think that would help? Ok here's another kind of question.....In my home, and in other
homes in other cultures around the world like Russia, Japan, etc. they have this custom of
taking off their shoes. We take our shoes off in our home and I'm sure you've walked around
your house without your shoes on...so you know that linoleum floors feel much different to
soft carpet..right? And what I'd like you to check is...If you check back through your
life....What is the softest floor you've ever walked on? And what did it feel like to walk on
it....Whats the softest carpet or the softest floor? Ok now here's another question...When I
was growing up, at school one of the ways they taught us to learn things...was that they
showed us you can remember stuff by saying little sayings to yourself sometimes. And I
remember one of them for example...There was one for how many days has each month of
the year got?..Cause its so untidy like...its not like theres 28 in each or something. 30 days
has September, April, June and November All the rest have 31 except February which has
28 or 29. And so we used to say that little saying...Now what I want you to do...is I'd like
you to find a saying like that you used to remember things...if you learned music there were
several little sayings that you learned to remember where the notes are....And say one of
those sayings to yourself...Say one of those little sayings to yourself. And as your saying it
to yourself..check..What is the 5th word?..pause..Cool...Excellent...[clap clap]...thank you
very much. Now of course what we were doing....(the secret instruction by the way was to
watch your eyes as they were moving)....did you notice that people were watching your
eyes?..No?..Good...Excellent...And there was a bit of a system to what you saw, now the 1st
thing you'll notice is that...When you watch peoples eyes...as they go to get information
they're not sure of...their eyes move. Now their eyes don't move if they know the answers
straight away. so if you asked me right now what my name is...if I moved my eyes like this
[demo..Richard moves eyes in several directions] You would know there is something really

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wrong here...you know like this is one of those personality disorder things right? Because
people when they know some information...they don't search their eyes around for it. And the
other thing though...Is when I asked them certain questions...I can't be sure when I ask a
question how they will get the information in their brain....But if they do.. the same thing in
their brain..their eyes will move in the same direction. And if you watched .. you saw that
sometimes. Like sometimes I'd ask something and all 3 of them had their eyes move in the
same direction. And its because they are all 3 of them are using the same part of the brain.
And it wasn't so obvious in the 1st question actually because you all had slightly different
ways of seeing the windows. And Rebecca's eyes went the opposite way in the 1st question.
And both the others eyes went up here [up left] and Rebecca's eyes went the opposite way [up
right] So I asked if anyone was left handed...because it would be reversed if someone was
left handed. So upwards and both directions is Visual and Rebecca went up and to the Right
which would usually be for a Right handed person Visual Construct V/C ....where as Visual
Recall V/R is over here on the Left. So it meant that she did this task in a different way.
Because I saw afterwards that her eye movement patterns were pretty standard. It's probable
that what you did was you somehow made up the picture of the windows...rather than just
seeing what you've seen through your eyes. So she constructed a picture. This is why its a
little risky....You know I have at home the work book that they used to teach this to the NZ
Police. And of course one of the reasons the Police are wanting to learn it...Is that V/R means
I'm remembering what I saw through my eyes. And V/C means I'm making up the picture.
But it doesn't always mean that I'm lying. What else it could mean is...I'm just recreating a
picture thats different than what I actually saw. And so this is quite important and thats the
1st reason why I worry when the Police are using it (as long as they check; its OK) Is
because it doesn't mean lying. However I used to have a little fun when I was a teacher at the
Polytechnic. Sometimes the students would come to me and they said....Look could I have
another day to hand in that assignment because I've done it...I've done it on time...but I left it
at home...So you know its totally done but its at home. So then I would say to them....How
many pages has it got?...Now when you've done something and you've printed it out...you
saw through your eyes..the last page. So for you get that the easiest way to get that
information .. is to go up to V/R So if they go up to V/C I know that they had to construct
what they would see on the last page.

Keys to Success CD 2B

Now about of L handed people and some R handed people will have the pattern reversed.
And that fact about some Right handed people is interesting because......We had a couple
years ago in this room actually we had someone who was doing the demonstration...and they
were Right handed and all of their answers were around on the other side. And so I said
them them..Have you ever been Left handed? And they said..No no I've always been Right
handed. Now they came back the next day and said...I had a strange thing happen last night, I
rang up my parents and I said, Mom I was never Left handed was I? And she said there was
this long pause on the phone..........And her mother said, .Not exactly Dear...You always
reached for things with your Left hand .. but we fixed it quickly. So you see there was a
time when Left handedness was considered very bad..you know like a sign of evil....And so it
was fixed.... and so the challenge is it wasn't fixed in the brain...it was only fixed in the
hands. And so her brain was functionally Left handed. And so even if you just had this
information...you know something rather powerful. So for example here's a research study
that was done on this. It was done in a university in Canada called Moncton University.
Now what they do is they take 4 groups of students. All the students have about the

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equivalent ability to spell English words. Now something you need to know about the
spelling of English words is that English is pretty much the hardest language in the world to
learn to spell. And English speakers take a year longer than any other speakers across Europe
to learn how to write their own language ..( in the school system).. And its purely
because..You can't predict the spelling of a word. You look at a word and it doesn't look
like.....You've noticed this right? And so ah, like living with Julia, like you know when she
spells in Russian, when she spells out a Russian word to someone over the phone...she doesn't
even spell the letters...She just spells the syllables and they know how to write it. But in
English you couldn't do that or goodness knows what you'd come up with. So anyway they
test these 4 groups....and the 4 groups are all equivalent in skill with spelling in
English....Now this study is done at the University of Moncton in Canada. Now I don't
know if you know anything about this area where the University is in Canada but it has a lot
of French speakers...so thats the interesting thing about it. And um, So the thing they were
interested in..was....Will it make a difference which way someones eyes go when theyre
learning to spell a language? Ah learning English? So these people are all equally good at
spelling English words. And what they do then is, they give them separate instructions and
they give them some new English words to learn. One group they instruct them...just learn to
spell these the same way you normally do. And this is what we call the control group...and
surprise, surprise...they did exactly the same as they did the 1st time. Now the next group
are told... As you learn these words...kind of make a picture in your mind...so visualize the
word. Now this increases, if their told to visualize...this increases their ability by 10% by
just telling them to make a picture. Its a very useful instruction to learn English words.
Now another group are told to...Make a picture of the word and look up to your Left. So for
95% of people in NLP terms that is going to mean looking up into your V/R and see the
word the way it was written. Now those people...their success increases by 20%...So it
doubles the effectiveness of visualization. Because its a feedback system in the brain it
triggers the area in the brain that people look up to when they are visualizing. Now the 4th
group are told something interesting...They are told to visualize...which should increase
ability by 10% ..right? Visualize and look down to your Right ..(completely the wrong place)
.. And their ability drops immediately by 15% They're looking the wrong way. So it makes
a real difference.

Now the next thing is, they then follow them up a week later. Now what happens in learning
if you've ever done any studies about learning, is that gradually over time people tend to
forget stuff. If you think of the calculus and things that you learned at school then you know
what I mean...unless of course you use it for your job of course. So this tends to happen with
these groups a week later..they have forgotten some of these words. It happens for all these 3
groups. But for the group that looked up Left and visualized...a week later their memory is
essentially the same...As if they had taken a photograph and stored it. Now whats important
here is that the difference between this group here a week later and the control group
is ....61% And that..the researchers pointed out would be the difference between the worst
speller in an un-streamed class at school and the best speller in that class. So you could take
the worst speller in the class ... and by showing them where to look and what to do to
visualize to make a picture of the word in their mind ...You could get them to be the best
speller in the class in 5 minutes. Now that doesn't mean that looking up and to the Left is the
best way to learn everything ...

It just means that looking up and to your Left is the best way to remember pictures. So I can

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get someone with so called Dyslexia... Dyslexia just means not knowing how to use that part
of the brain..in the visual area..And so it doesn't matter why that is..whether its genetic or
whatever...Its just a matter of knowing how to trigger it. This research was done for the
purposes of research with all of the people being told to look up to the Left. And that is
important. 95% of them will therefore be using their V/R and so thats the most effective
thing.. but if they are Left handed and Left brained .. Left handed - brained.. then actually
the best place for them to look will be up here. So this is really, really useful information for
you to have in a number of ways and there's more to it which I'm going to show you after the
break.

And so the information enables you to do certain things. It enables you for example to
know.. How a person is thinking...Not what they are thinking of...but...How are they thinking.
And it enables you to explain something in a way, that will make sense to them. Because
when someone is making pictures in their brain .... they are actually living in the back of their
brain at that moment....And there's no use talking to them about the way it feels....Or what it
sounds like...thats somewhere else and they have to be able to shift into that part of the brain
to understand what you're saying. So the 1st thing you can do with this ...Is you can adjust the
way they think about the world. The 2nd thing you can do..is you can show them how to use
their brain best. Because what we are Not Saying in NLP and this is very important...What
we are not saying is that well some people are more visual...so just do visual stuff with them.
That wouldn't make sense..because honestly.. to learn English spelling visual works best. And
it doesn't matter that mainly you do auditory or you do kinesthetic best..to learn English
Spelling; Visual works better. And you will not get better results just because you feel better
doing kinesthetic things and moving around...you will not get better results doing it...You get
better results if you learn how to visualize. On the other hand, if you want to learn a new
language for example ... It doesn't help for you to make pictures of the words...Even though
you are a very strongly visual person and believe it does. You see when people who are very
strongly visual... they try to learn another language ... they make pictures of the words... and
of course it confuses the hell out of them if they come to a language thats written in another
script. You know like they're trying to use visual to learn Japanese or Arabic or something.
The auditory method of reading works fine for reading. And so thats a phonetic method.
Thats where like in English you sound it out...like it is useful cause it gives you an idea of
what the sound of the word might be. But for actually going the other way and spelling the
word to write it down ... its pretty useless.

So these have different uses. If you're learning another language... like in order to speak a
little Russian ...... I need to listen carefully to what people are saying. For example they have
sounds that you don't have in English..for example the sound [Richard makes the Russian
sound which is like an ee sound but made at the back of the throat and has no English
equivalent] so like just to say something as simple as [Richard says which is like vee but
with the new sound] which is you I need to make a sound I dont usually make and it
doesnt help to see it written down. Its not even an English letter. So this is a really
important thing to know..... To learn certain things, its useful to know which part of the brain
will help you learn them best. And this is why, when Japanese people learn English they
know the English alphabet because they learned at school...from writing Japanese....they
learn 4 different alphabets....But ah, that doesn't mean that they can speak English because
To Speak English...You have to Listen....And this is why the L and the R get swapped
around....people from Japan or China often swap around the L and R Because the sound
is in the middle..in those languages. And to do that they need to look across to auditory

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recall. Is to listen to what you say and look across to her left... level across...to get the
auditory. Because when I asked these people about their door....then what they did was they
looked across here... A very unusual place in ordinary terms to look, to listen for the sound of
the door. And when I asked them if we oil it, actually what they tended to do was ..[demo
flickering eyes side-side] ..So they look across here and listen to what the door sounds like
now....And then check what it would sound like oiled.

If you have a look in your notes...this diagram is actually on page 13. And look I've forgotten
to put in the little things on the diagram ... could you just write them in..like the V/C and the
A/R...Just a mistake. No its to help you remember it. I would write it this way (as if facing
the person)...because you are going to use it while watching someone else. And the way it is
drawn is the way it would be if you were looking at someone else. And thats the easiest way
to remember it. And so, Visual is up at the top and I'm using the Back of the brain...my
Eyes are pulled Up and to each side. When I'm using the Auditory areas on each side of the
Brain...my Eyes are Level with ears and pulled to the sides. And when I'm feeling / feelings
Kinesthetically .. which is at the Top of the Brain ..(paradoxically) .. I'm going to look Down.
And the place that I'm going to look is down here to my right. So that is when I asked people
to remember What is the softest floor covering they remember .. that they walked on. Now
this is very interesting because in order to remember the softest floor covering ..what
people ..(and you saw this in fact) .. what people usually do 1st is .. (they look) .. So they go
visually and they look through their file of pictures of floor coverings, until they find one
that looks soft .. and then once they've found one.. then they check how soft it feels. So I
needed to wait for a while .. while they do this other kind of checking. So they look ..
construct what it must have looked like if you looked closely at it ..look..look..look and then
they feel what it feels like..and then yeah I know what it feels like. So Kinesthetic means
Body Sensation. Although someone might look down here when they are paying attention to
their emotions .. Kinesthetic is not the same as emotion. So the Kinesthetic area of the brain
is the area at the top of the brain here. Thats where the body sensations are. Emotions are
generated in quite different places in the brain. The emotions like fear and anger and so on ..
are generated very deep in the brain.

And the emotion of happiness is actually associated with dramatic activity in the front of the
brain .. (in the goal setting area) What we call happiness is when someone has the sense that
they are in charge of their life basically. To be happy ..is to choose ..what you actually are
doing .. what you actually feel. So this is so reliable by the way (this is on the side but this is
so reliable ...that we can predict how happy someone will say they are just by scanning their
brain) And the research on happiness has only been done in the last 10 years. So they've
studied 1000s of people; they've scanned their brain and then they answer a questionnaire..
How Happy Are You? And from that they can reliably predict from a scan exactly: Its a
100% prediction. And then if you train them to do what happy people do for a few weeks ...
they come back and their brain scan will be different. So the activity in the front of the brain
is strongly associated with happiness. And this the area of where people have a sense of what
I'm doing, being in charge of their life. And of course when someone is depressed there's
hardly any activity in the front. So the person has difficulty setting goals. So depression and
not having a sense of choosing what I'm doing in my life is a pretty closely correlated thing.
So when they did this research, they did it 1st in Europe. And they studied one guy he's
actually from Belgium... and he's sort of the happiest guy in Europe. Its a very interesting
thing cause he was like way off the scale. Every one else is like ..[here..here..and here].. and
there was a big group of people in the middle here who are reasonably happy, and then here's

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this guy who's way, way Up Happier. But its not a coincidence; he's someone quite
interesting. His name is Matthieu Rickard and he has an interesting job...he works as a
translator for the Dalai Lama. And he does a form of meditation each day. And in this form
of meditation he does ... he meditates for 6 hours per day, you know like quite a reasonable
amount. And in his meditation he sends love and compassion to all living beings. What a
job eh? you know like rough job ..but I suppose someone's got to do it. When we scan
prisoners brains, then they have very poor functioning in the frontal lobe ..and ah actual areas
where there's very little brain cells there. And its purely a matter of not using it. If you use
an area of your brain .. it builds more, it gets more brain cells and it creates more
connections. And so much so, this is really important thing to understand, when I'm talking
about the brain and say this happens here and this happens here its not as simple as
saying...So this happens here so, if you haven't got much happening there ..then your brain
doesn't work. Its not like that. See I can tell you that in the K area .. there's an area in the K
area that specifically controls my R hand and an area that controls my R hand ok. So we can
map it out .. there's a little person in there ..(here I'll just map it out for you).. some of you
will have seen this diagram ..I'll just draw it for you here.. So, inside the Kinesthetic area of
the brain .. there is a little person there with a big hand, a big head and a teeny, weeny body..
and its like this.. so there's exact areas. Have you seen this? ..some of you will have seen this
picture, if you look at anatomy and physiology books. And so its actually this part of the
brain here runs the hand and this part of the brain here runs the foot.. and when you connect
them all together its a little diagram of a person. So your brain has a map of a person inside
the K area. And the Head is big and the hands are big. Why are the hands big and the head is
big, is because you use them more than your feet. If someone uses their feet because their
hands are paralyzed or something, in this area with the feet becomes bigger. So, its not set,
that's important to understand. So much so that if we take someones Left hand and we tie it
up for 24 hours so they can't move it.. after 24 hours half of the area that was running their
Left hand will be apportioned to their Right hand. So the Right will now have 1 pieces of
the area and their Left hand will have only . So this is happening every day, even if we
don't tie it up the area thats running each hand will be slightly different from one day to the
next. So different cells are running it. So its like a computer, where the computer can store
the same information on different parts of the disc. And it habitually does that, it reassesses
what areas of its disc.. (hard drive space)... it should give to each program. It assesses it
on an ongoing basis. So your brain is just constantly changing what it does. Its not just that
your brain can heal if there's brain damage.. its that your brain is in the constant process of
healing and changing itself. Its reassessing everyday how much you need to put into.. which
things. So if someone is depressed, its 24 hours away from completely changing how much
is apportioned to being in charge of their life and feeling happy. Its really, really fast, that
things are happening in the brain. Thats important to know isn't it.. cause I draw these
diagrams and I say this happens here and this happens here....You need to understand that
there's a lot of flexibility with it. So if you have some area of the brain that you want to
develop, you just use it more and within 24 hours your brain will start shifting activity
there...start giving you more space to do things with..what you want. Kinesthetic means body
sensation. Just because someone is more aware of their body sensation doesn't mean they are
more aware of their emotions. Those are 2 separate things.

And, so whats over on the other side here though you would expect it goes... Visual.. [top]
Auditory [level] Kinesthetic [bottom] right? The eye movements....But whats actually
over on the other side here, is the specialized area that deals with language. So this is the
area.. here.. here.. and here.. [on diagram of brain Ad areas] that is on one side of the brain

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only..(well mostly on one side of the brain).. and that deals with language, which is symbolic
processing. So if someone understands a sign language then they will use the same areas of
the brain that process spoken language. So it is a symbolic area. We call it Auditory Digital
in NLP. But its actually a symbolic thinking area. And so it processes words, not just the
sound. The sound is processed in A/R and A/C....But the meaning of the words is processed
in A/D. So each word has a specific meaning. And those meanings are stored in the A/D
areas. Which, obviously this is a new thing that humans have, that not all animals have.. is
such large A/D areas. Q/A Articulate usually refers to A/D, like putting it into words. For
example Einstein said most of his thinking happened visually and he would construct images
and just kind of free visualize images.....and that was how he made sense of things like, The
Theory of Relativity. And then he said the hard part was putting it into words to explain it to
another human being. And that I would say is like the difficulty of putting it into words to
explain it is getting it into A/D. So watch me, .. [demo].. If I was to be looking up here and
I'm saying hmm, I don't know how to describe that....Then what you would do to me is,
you'd gesture up, up where my eyes are going. And you'd say, So as you imagine it......How
would you say that in words?......and you would actually direct my eyes down into A/D.

Obviously we could,.. (and we do on the Practitioner Training).. altogether we spend days

going in more depth into Auditory..Visual..Kinesthetic... Not just the eye movements, there's
so much more.
I mean there's ah,..which part of the brain use affects the way you breath, for example.
People who are visualizing are breathing faster. People who are paying attention to body
sensations breath slower...and their metabolism slows. People who are thinking in pictures;
the pictures flash in front of their mind very quickly..and they breathe quicker..and they
breathe higher into the chest and their metabolism tends to speed up. So there are many
different ways of noticing what part of the brain a person is using. And of course one of the
most important ..is words. Like let me show you...I do quite a bit of couples counseling and
its really important to understand this sort of thing if you work with couples......I'm not
teaching you to be couples counsellors or something. [demo] Here's an example of a couple
who came to see me. And its a man and a women.. married.. and the man said, [after a
breathy sigh] watch his eyes Well, I can't imagine what she does all day you know like, I
like things to be tidy around the place and I tidy up the house in the morning, and [sigh]
sometimes I come home at night and things are kind of lying around on the floor and dishes
aren't done and it just looks like she doesn't care. Now whats his main sensory system he's
using? [Reply: Visual] And you can hear it in his words as well as see it in his eyes. So she
says [sigh], Well it doesn't it doesn't feel like that to me at all. I feel like I put my energy
into making the home comfortable for the children and us...and I feel like when you come
home you just rush past me and we never really connect now and it doesn't feel to me like..
[sigh].. like you want to be connected [sigh] with us. Whats her main sensory system?
[Reply: Kinesthetic] Kinesthetic, subtle but you can notice it right? So this is really
important because most of their conflicts are about which part of the brain their living in. So
in fact they love each but they don't speak the same language. So he says, Another thing I
can't see is.. when I wake up in the morning I'm looking forward to my day...And this is
something thats always puzzled me about her is I see her in the morning and she's lying there
in bed... and she just seems to lie there in bed like...like sort of not inspired sort of thing. She
needs more vision of the future. And I don't know how that happens like and ah for some
reason its especially in winter. Now I understand both of these languages right? Visual and
Kinesthetic. So I translate between them. So I say to him, Well you know this thing about
winter...if you live in NZ you understand what he's on about right? So in the winter, when its

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cold in the room....the day is blank for her....she can't see whats going to happen for her, until
the room warms up, that's all.... Do you get?... What I'm doing is I'm translating... I'm
translating from her Kinesthetic experience... of what its like to wake up in a cold room and
not feel inspired because its just cold that she's aware of and his visual experience of looking
forward to the day. And so its blank. And he says, Well, I suppose I can see how that
would be. Now I explained to her why he's so obsessed with picking things up from the
floor. So I say to her, I know this will sound strange but imagine this,..imagine that you went
to bed in the evening and he went to bed 1st and he was eating toast in bed .. and there were
crumbs all through the bed .. Can you imagine what it would be like to get into a bed like
that? [R brushes as if brushing toast crumbs off his body] Thats what it feels like to him, to
walk into a room where there's things on the floor. Do you see what I've done? I've
translated his visual experience into kinesthetic. [demo] Thats what it would feel like to
him ...like its all over him. So she goes ooha I think I'm getting a handle of that now... I
didn't think it would feel like that.

So I'm just translating between them. Its very important because they love each other and I
just want to explain in personal terms this makes a difference and you need to know this. So
they love each other and maybe sometime between the time he comes home and sees the
dishes aren't done and the time when he goes off to work and he's puzzled as to why she's still
lying in bed in the morning..... Then they want to make love........So they can both
understand that.....And he says Great yeah lets make love, yeah look, this is exciting. And
she says What are you doing holding me back and staring at me.. making love is about being
close and holding each other close....if its distracting you lets just turn off the light so we can
just be with each other. And he says, Turn off the light!! How am I supposed to get
excited?...We might as well be making love from different rooms if I can't see you!! And she
says, Well if you're going to hold me back and stare at me..we might as well make love over
the phone anyway you know. And so, its a very important thing.... they do love each
other... but they do- not -speak- the same language. So you can imagine this happens in the
work situation.. (not making love of course) but the sensory system difference.

The aim of this training is that you would have more flexibility with this. And thats the aim,
so that when you're talking to someone you would have the flexibility to understand the way
that they are doing things.. as well as come back to your own way of doing things. Both
things are important. Like to get someone else to cooperate with you, you want to be able to
do things their way. But then you also want to be able to come back and make sure, you get
your own needs met as well..of course. And thats my hope. My hope is that people get more
flexibility from this. And here's what I hope doesn't happen.... Is that people come into the
training and they think... Wow! this Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic, thats the way it is. And
I've discovered that I'm a Visual, so thats why I can't feel things. Or they say, I'm a
Kinesthetic, so thats why I can't make pictures easily in my head...this explains it. Look
people have got enough boxes already, without me giving them new NLP restrictions on life.
So, what I hope doesn't happen is that people categorize themselves as one thing or the other..
you know like.. this is just a set of ways of understanding what someone else is doing. And
flexibility is a high value of NLP in that set of presuppositions. Like when I'm teaching in
Japan I adjust what I'm doing to fit with Japanese culture more. So I do less of this kind of
movement [demo of smaller bowing Japanese movements] by the way,..Cause this kind of
movement [wider New Zealand movements] looks like showing off.. in Japan.. it looks
arrogant. Like if I went like this in NZ [demo arms spread out with palms up] it would mean
I'm sorry. But in Japan its showing off. Cause hey I'm sorry is like this [demo low bow with

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hands tight by side] So I need to know that. And when I meet someone in Japanese I need to
know not just the simple technique of saying the words correctly but if I say.. Hajimemashite
if I say that with NZ gestures... It's just wrong. You know, it just doesn't make sense to them.
So I say it like..[demo]..in the Japanese way because it creates this feeling that I'm going to
call rapport. See I need to have that flexibility if I'm going to convince them of anything...if
I'm going to teach them anything. I need to be able to shift to their way of doing things. And
then I need to be able to shift back to my way of things. I'm not actually Japanese you
know...and I like being who I am. There are some things that I didn't enjoy in the culture I
grew up in... but I've changed those things so I'm quite happy staying where I am. like I don't
need to Be Japanese and I don't need to Be Bosnian... What I need is to be able to understand
what its like in there if I'm going to show them anything. Sometimes I want to explain
something to someone...like say, lets imagine I'm mostly thinking visually and I want to
explain something to someone who is processing things kinesthetically. Now I want them to
understand what its like inside me.. right? The way I would usually think of that for myself is
to say like.. Well, what I'm looking for is the light at the end of the tunnel... I'm just trying to
picture what the future will be like. That doesn't get across to them what I generally want. It
doesn't mean anything to them. So, to me its more authentic...like part of being authentic is
getting it across to them what I truly want... Rather than something they'll misunderstand.
And so to get that across to them if they are thinking kinesthetically,..is.. Well I'm searching
for some way that we can pull ourselves out of this place. And when I say it that way then
they can feel what its like, and they understand me. Richard Bandler one of the co founders
of NLP, ... he gives an example of...he was working at a software place in Silicon Valley.
They hired him, they said we've got this guy and he's really good at most of the stuff he does
with computers, you know hands on stuff he's great at. But he cannot understand circuit
diagrams. And to understand the advanced stuff we're doing..you have to be able to
understand.. (you know a circuit diagram? A diagram of where the electricity goes).. So
Richard Bandler goes up to the guy and he says....Can I just find out what happens when you
look at this diagram....and the guy goes.... Well it just doesn't have any impact on me at all.
I just can't get a handle on it at all. Thats always the way it feels like that with these things.
Now do you hear what he's doing? He's talking entirely in kinesthetic terms. It doesn't look
like anything to him....he's holding it in the wrong place to look at it anyway....All he knows
is how it feels. So this is why when people are good at reading they tend to do it like this
[demo kid lying on floor holding book up to visual area] When kids are not good at reading,
then they only read at school....and they have the book on the desk and they look down. And
they can't imagine whats going on, they can't see it. So anyway, Richard Bandler says,
Ok what I think would be useful is, just imagine for a moment.. what it would feel like to
be an electron, ..(you know like a piece of electricity).. and feel what its like to be inside this
diagram here.. So here you are traveling down this line here, can you feel that? And the guy
goes Yeah. So Richard says, Feel what happens when you get to this resistor...And the guy
goes Whoa. Ok now find out what happens when you get to the switch....and the guy
goes... Far out thats interesting, ok I think I'm getting the hang of this. So what Richard
Bandler does is he takes him through the diagram kinesthetically. So he's showing him how
to use that piece in the middle so he can convert the diagram into kinesthetic. Which is
where the guy already does things really well.. He's good at hands on stuff. Its when he has
to look at something that he doesn't get a handle on it. So what I want you to do is some real
simple stuff today. Now you understand the system, there's a lot more you could do with it.
I'm going to get you to just sit with someone and break a social rule.. (science research you
know).. I'm going to get you to look at their eyes while they talk, thats all. In some cultures
thats normal. When I'm teaching in America, (here's another example of rapport) ..when I'm

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teaching in America, I need to look at people when I'm talking. And if I don't do what I'm
doing now..[demo focusing on peoples eyes while taking].. if I don't look at them...they think
I'm hiding something from them. They really do, they'll think why is he so shifty? Why is he
avoiding our eyes? So this ..[demo].. means I actually believe what I'm saying. And this
means I'm really with it and I'm actually telling you this thing truthfully. So in America
people say to their kids...Look me in the eyes when you're talking to me...they want to know
the truth. But doing this ..[demo].. in NZ this feels like, what we call.. getting in your
face...And once you understand the cultural differences...you can understand what its like for
someone from a Pacific culture with the usual Pakeha (non-Maori, European origin culture in
New Zealand) amount of eye contact and it feels like over the top...feels like, in your face.
So this differs culturally. In this exercise I'm going to ask you to put that aside and look at
the persons eyes while they talk. Because you want to have this diagram in front of them so
you can see where their eyes are going. And what you're going to do is ask them a simple
question: What do you like and not like about where you live? Now if thats not an
appropriate topic just ask them .. What do you like and not like about where you work? or
What do you like and don't like about Wellington? Something to give you something to talk
about while the other person watches your eyes. Its just so you get used to this idea. Got the
game? So you want to find another human being and ask them that simple question ... Just
take a couple of minutes each to do this.

And different cultures of course, people encourage different sensory system use. And so
European cultures where most of my ancestors came from, of course where very Visual
cultures. And information is coded visually and people remembered things visually. And
when my ancestors came to this country... Pacific cultures are much more Auditory and
Kinesthetic. And so there's much more auditory memory for example. So when a Maori
speaker is storing and reciting memory ..ah.. they don't have it all written down, they do it in
A/D and A/R and often they use Kinesthetic assistance. So a Maori speaker who knows their
whakapapa (their ancestry).. they often have a stick and each mark is a different generation
that they will recite as they go down the stick. And when the 1st settlers were here in NZ,
this cultural difference was fairly dramatic. So in the 1860's a land court was set up in NZ,
it was called the Maori land court. It sounds like a Maori organization but actually it was a
settler government organization designed to ..(lets put this politely).. it was designed to assist
Maori to move their land into European control. So what the Maori land court would do,
was they would find areas of land that obviously weren't being used...because they were in
forests which is such a waste because you could chop the trees down and put sheep there.
And so they would then say,.. Well this land doesn't seem to be used so we are going to sell it
to some settlers. So if you think you own this land though...your Iwi...(your tribe) or your
Hapu,.. (subtribe) own this land...then you better come to the court and tell us. So they put up
notices every where, fair is fair. And so then the people would come to prove that this is
their land. Now the 1st case that was ever heard by the Maori land court, it kind of went like
this....A Maori expert.. (a tohunga).. came in and he said we know this piece of land belongs
to us..our Hapu and I can recite for you the genealogy the whakapapa that goes back to the 1st
people who came here and I can tell you the whole story. And he began to recite it...my
fathers name is this, and my mothers name is this, and her fathers fathers name is and her
mothers mothers name is and my fathers father and my fathers mother etc. etc. and it
goes on like this...And he talked for 7 hours. For 7 hours he recited names connecting himself
with all of these people in his Hapu. And showing how they were the descendants of the
people who had named the areas of land. And its quite clear that the names of the land areas
are the names of his ancestors. And so he recited this for 7 hours. Well the English judge..

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(see most of the settlers at this time had been born in Europe).... So the English judge knew
this was completely impossible for someone to remember 7 hours of genealogy...right? He
knew right?.. because you'd have to have a book right? So the next day they came back and
the judge said I'm sorry we've lost the records of yesterdays court, could you tell us again
how you know that its your land? And so this man patiently began to recite it again...and
after 2 hours.. (and of course the clerk of the court room was checking that what he was
saying was the same as what was saying yesterday... And he'd said word for word what he
had been saying yesterday for 2 hours)...And the judge says alright... it seems we've found the
records and it seems like they are correct. And so the reason was that in European
cultures...memory recitation wasn't something that was done, auditory memory wasn't very
well developed at all. And there are some parts of the world...when I'm traveling through
Islamic world people learn huge tracks of the Koran and they're able to recite it from memory
perfectly. And everyone knows it by memory, you can check it with the written word if you
want to but they know it, because they know it themselves. And this is a whole goal in
Islamic life is to be able to recite the entire Koran...and you get a title for being able to do
that: Hafiz. So in different cultures people develop different skills. We're only still learning
how to use our brain. And its such a miraculous thing the brain. And the things that we've
discovered in the West in the last 10 years are amazing and I'm sure that this process will
escalate rather than reach its completion. What we will know about the brain in 100 years
will be just enormously more than what we know now. And we're just waking up yeah.

If you learned to drive a car or you learned to ride a bicycle...at 1st its very hard to do all of
these things at the same time, you know? Its sort of like..How do I do this...while I'm doing
this? Its like...How do I talk to someone and pay attention to where my eyes are and where
their eyes are. And so what I would say is a little at a time...is the answer. Usually when you
learn to ride a bicycle for example...someone holds on to the back at 1st they don't expect you
to be able to just get on and ride. So they hold the back while you ride a little bit while they
hold it upwards...and you just learn to turn the pedals...And then they let you learn to get the
balance. And at 1st you don't even know where to find the muscles that you need to adjust so
that you can stay on the bicycle...But eventually thats what happens. When you look inside a
car for the 1st time to learn to drive a car...it just looks like there is endless things there that
you'd have to pay attention to. And your 1st thought usually would be... How can I possibly
see all these things at once? But actually, usually they would simplify it...Usually the person
who teaches you to drive a car would have the car already started and then you would sit in
it... and then you start doing things...and you do very simple things at 1st. And this I think is
the same. Its possible for me now.. to pay attention to where my eyes are going and to
demonstrate for you...So I'm doing that sometimes of course...I'm looking up into V/R and
I'm looking up into V/C and looking down into K or looking down into A/D...and
intentionally doing it. Its possible to learn it but just a little at a time.

[Q. about the impact of being born blind.] The impact of being born blind most of all shows
the significance of the eye movements...They use the Visual part of the brain almost as
much...(and we've had one totally blind person doing this training)... And he talked a lot in
visual words. And he did a lot of visualizing. And when the research checks that...people
who are born blind use this area [visual brain] to make maps of ..whats ..where around in the
world. They wouldn't call it visualizing but its a similar kind of process. And so they use
that visual part of the brain for that. Now when they do their eye movements...they
often...unless they were taught as children...they don't know that everyone holds their head
still. And so it looks like this.. [demo head jerking side-side Stevie Wonder style].. And so

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what you're seeing when you watch someone who was blind at birth is...just the ordinary eye
movements...But they don't know that everyone else politely holds their head still while they
are talking...And so their eye movements are a little more dramatic. [Note: comment from
student...So thats what it is with Stevie Wonder. ] Yes, Yes thats what it is...that guy is just
..listening here..constructing sounds..listening.. constructing sounds and he's having a great
time you know. And most people hold their head still and restrict it a little. And in certain
cultures..like I said in America..eye contact is highly valued, now that makes it a very clearly
a more visual culture than NZ culture is for example even. And the other thing about it is that
it does make it a little more difficult for the person who is going to try and hold eye contact
so they try to stop their eyes from moving. Now how they deal with that is they shift around
like this [demo].. so I can look down and get kinesthetic while still appearing to be making
eye contact with you. Or I can look up here and visualize [demo] while still appearing to be
making eye contact with you.

One of the things with dyslexia, is that dyslexia only occurs in certain cultures where you
have certain reading and writing systems..for example. It only becomes obvious in those
cultures. So when I teach in Japan, people are completely baffled by the idea..they can't
understand it. And its because in Japan people are not required to visually learn spelling.
They learn to write Japanese characters kinesthetically. Now to understand the difference,
most NZers will have had the experience of remembering a telephone number
kinesthetically. So you don't know the number until you've got the phone. And so you cant
see the number in your mind. You can feel where the numbers should go...your fingers
know the number. And thats kinesthetic learning. Now thats the way that Japanese learn to
write Japanese. So they learn...they practice in school writing the Kanji and they have to do
it that way...cause looking doesn't do it...Because the Kanji have a stroke order. And so you
have to write by one stroke and then the next stroke and if you write them in the wrong order
then it doesn't look the same. And so if you see someone in East Asian culture learning to
write they have to practice kinesthetically...so their hand knows. If you ask a Japanese person
how you write such and such word in Japanese......here's what they'll do.. [demo they hold
imaginary paper in palm of hand and write with imaginary pen looking down right] in other
words they do it kinesthetically. They cannot see it because they learned it kinesthetically.
So how dyslexia happens is, in a visual culture when someone doesn't learn to remember
visually what they saw. And so when I ask someone who has been diagnosed as dyslexic, to
spell a word in English for example....the most common thing they do..is they look down
here and they talk to themselves.[demo] Not an effective method. The 2nd most common
thing.. (not common for someone who is absolutely diagnosed dyslexic).. is to look up into
V/C and make it up. This is what we call creative spelling...You just kind of make something
up like it could be. So what they haven't learned is to access the correct area of the brain.
And as soon as I show them how to do that......and of course there may be something
different in their brain that makes it more likely that they'll do that.....But that doesn't
matter.....It doesn't matter what part of the factory the watch came from.....You just need to
know where the buttons are...to get the result you want. So, look its a hour thing to show
someone who's been diagnosed dyslexic how to spell perfect. Its really simple, and we'll
practice doing it later on this week those of you doing the Practitioner training. Interesting
stuff eh?

And there's a little more about ADHD. People who have so called Attention Deficit
Disorder don't have attention deficit at all! What they have is... Attention Overload...and
they're really good at paying attention to things....but they don't know....You know when you

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work on a computer? Like there's things called windows on most computers right? And you
can open one window and then close it, and thats fine. But if you open 100 windows...the
computer starts to jam..right? So the person who has ADHD, everything they see produces
a kinesthetic response. And so its called a (synesthesia) and when they see something...they
want to do something physically with it. So they see these colored pens...and I want to play
with them...like wow this is so cool [demo].. and then I see someone got some colored
clothes I like.. and I think wow and I want to touch them.... and each time I'm opening a
window until its just an overload and I can't concentrate on anything. And the poor person
who's like this thinks everyone else is opening 100 windows but they're somehow managing
it. They don't realize that mostly people are just taking it real simple...They just open a couple
of windows and then they close the damn things...and then their brain is in neutral [blank
look] There's a joke about a woman asking a man...What are you thinking?... [demo blank
look].. nothing profound going on at all. So they see something and they feel what it feels
like...so they're pulled towards it... and respond to it... and its happening automatically and
uncontrollably. Most people don't do that...they might do it a little... and then they close it
down. And so for these people as you're saying ...they're caught in a whoosh whoosh
whoosh ...And its an emotional roller coaster.

What people call Personality Disorders ...they are just skills that are being used in the wrong
place. And like I said yesterday.. the skill of disagreeing with people is just absolutely crucial
in many jobs... And its just that you don't want to take it home with you. Being hyperactive is
very important in certain things...and what you'll notice is... like for example: Its a skill
required to respond to games like PlayStation and Nintendo...where you see something and
you have to respond immediately and people like that are usually really good at those games.
Attention Deficit is not what it is...They've got total attention...they can play those games for
hours. Its literally like teaching someone how to run a TV set. You just tell them...Look no
one else is trying to do what you're doing....you're just doing more than everyone. And I
teach them how to do it...I teach them how to remember stuff.

Now, what we're on the edge of here, is Rapport. Rapport means that ... when you notice a
different way of doing things that someone has......You adjust the way you are doing things so
that it makes sense to them. And Rapport is absolutely the fundamental thing in
communication. And I want to give you some practice at some other ways of creating
rapport. So rapport is the feeling that you get when someone understands you. And its the
feeling that you get .. that you understand them. And this happens right here in this place
in the middle in the brain. And it happens because of these things called Mirror Neurons.
And the mirror neurons, when you see someone else, they are what enables you to get a
feeling of what its like ..inside them. Now how that happens is very simplistic...what happens
is that, when you see someone else make a hand gesture... your brain automatically starts
making that gesture. And luckily you have ... this piece in the front... the conscious mind...
the bullshit detection system.. that stops you from doing it.. because other wise it would be
kind of embarrassing. And here's where you can see it happening where it is like that..
without the conscious mind...With Monkeys and Apes. So in most languages there is a word..
a verb.. which is to copy someone.. that comes from the word for Ape or Monkey....so we
could say to Ape someone... means to copy them... without knowing what your doing. We
have a saying in English.. Monkey see..Monkey do. And so this is because Monkeys and
Apes have lots of mirror neurons... they have a very similar kind of brain structure to human
beings... they have lots of mirror neurons. But they don't have this conscious mind that can
stop it from happening. So when you make a facial expression in front of them, they

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automatically do it. So if you smile, then they smile... you reach out your hand and they
reach out their hand. So they don't have enough kind of control to stop it happening very
much. Now the same thing happens with human babies of course. So this is why..Rapport is
built in from the very start. And babies respond to the people around them very effectively.
They need to... in order to survive. And so when babies start to laugh they start to laugh
because everyone else laughs. They don't get the joke.. they just laugh. Once they learn to
laugh they laugh when everyone else does...And they're totally into it because they are in
Rapport... Their brain does it without censoring it.

Parents learn this usually... If you're trying to feed a 6 month old kid solids, you open your
own mouth... they don't usually get what the mirror neurons are doing and the mirror neurons
kick in and they open their mouth involuntarily [demo].. and before they know it... they've
got stuff in their mouth. So, they haven't got enough conscious mind to stop it from
happening. And this takes about 2 months for them to learn to control... So you've got a 2
month window of opportunity at this stage...So you've got this sort of gunk on a spoon.. and
so you're going to put this in their mouth. So they're just kind of sitting there like..[demo]..
So how do you get it into their mouth? Well, every parent knows what you end up doing.. is
you [demo like this].. because they've got a 2 month opportunity to shove stuff in there before
they start censoring it. And until they learn to stop this, all they can do is this.. to try to
avoid it..[demo mouth open but turning from side to side]... Because the mirror neurons
trigger their mouth to open if your mouth opens. So babies are born with this ability to build
rapport. And what you do to build rapport, is you copy the other person. Its as simple as that.
So when John Gottman studies people who are in relationships that are working...when one
of them is upset.. (and he's monitoring their pulse, blood pressure and brain waves).. The
other person responds by feeling that feeling. And no 2 ways around it.. they feel that feeling.
Their brains shows it, the more successful the relationship is...the more its happening. So
even though they disagree with that person, they can still feel what it feels like inside that
person. Their whole brain...their whole body responds, like that person. And this gives them
the ability to understand. And the other person knows they understand... because they start
showing it. So how that happens is when people are in a relationship thats going to last...
when one of them is talking...the other person starts breathing in time with them, they nod in
time with them, and things like that. In a relationship thats not going to last, one person is
talking and the other person is just.. [demo fixed blank stare to side].. like they're just
somewhere else.. breathing at a different rate, their brain is thinking about other things,
they're just not there. And so you understand, that the conscious mind gives you the ability to
be away from the other person. The rapport system and the reality testing system are separate
systems. And you need both of them to survive successfully in human cultures. So you need
to be able to set goals and work out what you want... and think this is real and this is not real
and I'm different to this person, I have different ideas and stuff like that. That happens here in
the front. Right here in the middle between these things is where the rapport process
happens. And both these areas of the brain are necessary for a successful relationship.
So rapport is the feeling you get when someone understands you. And that happens when
they match you... when they copy what you do. Not consciously usually... just unconsciously.
Thats the way it happens. Your brain is constructed to do this copying... its only your
conscious mind that can stop this from happening. So, there are 3 ways of thinking about
this,... it happens Auditorally, Visually, and Kinesthetically. Now auditorally there's a very
cool film that gives an example of auditory rapport that's available at present... (its a little
disturbing as a film but I really recommend it).. and its called.. Slum Dog Millionaire. So
some of you may have seen it ... Now, Slum Dog Millionaire is set in India... and its got a

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Call Center in India that is a cell phone selling place. So they sell cell phones around the
world. Its like when you ring up Telecom from NZ... if you call in the evening you're going
to get someone in Manila right?.. cause there's a call center in Manila. Now the most
effective of these Call Centers train their staff to use auditory rapport. And so in the film
Slum Dog Millionaire.. you hear this person and he's calling up from India.. he's calling up
someone in Scotland... and this woman says Hello, good God will somebody talk to me.
[strong Scottish accent] and the Indian boy at the sales centre says Hello, Mrs Mackintosh
from Kingussie and she replies Its Kinussie love its pronounced Kinussie. So where are
you from abroad I bet! and he replies in more of a Scottish accent Just down the road
from your house Mrs Mackintosh next to the Loch. And so he's creating this rapport, he's
adjusted his voice to be similar to her voice. And so the people in the Call Centers are trained
to adjust their voice to each style of English from around the world... and listen to the other
person and adjust their voice..... Because it works! Because it enables them to sell things...
(Its not just that people understand them).

By the way, if I don't adjust my voice when I'm on the phone in America...I can't order a
pizza... you know like...[New Zealand accent]...I say, I wanna order a......its true... I say I
want to order a pizza And they say, [American accent] I'm sorry sir you'll need to speak
English.. And so I learned to adjust my language a little...in order to make sense. But what
I would usually recommend is ... I don't recommend that you copy the accent consciously
because it takes acting skills to do that. They train the people in the Call Centers to do it.
But what I recommend is... that you copy some of the things in someones voice that are
very easy to copy... The speed for example. [R speed talks] There's a very famous story: One
of the early NLP Trainers, (Genie Laborde) She was hired by AT&T... which is the
American Telecom. And AT&T had a problem in their Call Center where they followed up
accounts. So what was happening is ... When someone hasn't paid their phone bill....the
AT&T Call Center in New York would call them.....and they would say Hey, you haven't
paid your phone bill... now I can't imitate a good American accent but the New York version
is quite nasal and quite quick.. [verbal demo] So its got this kind of quality to it; like if
youve watched films like The Nanny, ah sometimes on something like Friends you hear
someone with a strong New York accent... Now this works great in the Northern States but
when they rang people in the Southern States where they've got a slow drawl accent .. [verbal
demo of 2 way talk with different accents] They phone people up and say Hello sir, were
sorry, but we notice that your account is overdue and we need to make some arrangement
about this so were wondering what you could do in the next couple of days. Now this works
great in the northern states but when they phone someone in the southern states, they may say
Well ah let me see Im not sure ahif I paid that last month or if I Maybe I
and the person would interrupt and say Well Im sorry sir, we really do need to do something
about this right now. Is there something you can do over the next two days? If you can go into
our centre in your own city. And the person would say Well just a moment here .. and
eventually they'd hang up because they got so frustrated trying to understand the fast nasal
accent from New York. So after a while the people in the call centre started to think those
people from the southern states were sneaky!! those cunning sneaky Confederates, they're
always trying to get out of something ever since the war....the civil war. So Genie Laborde,
an NLP Trainer, was hired to go in and help... and she taught them this one simple
thing......Adjust the speed at which you speak to the speed you hear the other person speak.
And in 3 weeks they shifted their success rate with the Southern States up to the same level
as their success with the Northern States. So it was just a matter of changing their voice so
that the other person felt understood. So you can change the speed at which you speak,...you

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can change the volume,...the loudness of the voice....some people speak quietly,...you can
change the tone of voice,....there is quite a range of tone available to you, and even between
men and women. So, ah what happens usually is that men and women have an overlap of
tone by about 2 octaves. And there is approximately an octave at the high end.. [demo]..
and low end..[demo].. of those 2 octaves that would be hard or difficult for the opposite sex
to reach.....But mostly its in the middle...and mostly I can adjust my tone of voice so it
matches a male or female that I'm speaking to. And then there's the rhythm, some people
speak in short bursts.. [demo].. and some people speak in a flowing way..[demo].. so that one
word merges into another in a flowing sort of way. And some people sound like they're doing
some kind of a rap session with you..[demo]. Now you don't need to match the timbre of a
voice. I'll explain what it is....the timbre of the voice is like which musical instrument is being
used? For example, some people have a very breathy voice..[demo].. some people have a
very gravelly voice like this.. [demo]... they can be using the same tone but it has a rough
gravelly sound [like voice strain]..and this is the way you tell on the phone how old someone
is [an older persons voice]. So you will naturally copy timbre to some extent but I
recommend that you don't try to copy it unless you've got acting training, don't bother doing
it consciously. You can copy the words, you probably already do that. You know to listen
to some of the words a person uses and politely use similar words. Like if I'm training in
Australia...and I don't swear..people will think I'm stuck up ...really they will. If I don't
say...Bloody Hell!!...they'll think...Who is this wanker? And then there's cultures where if I
swear...people will be really offended. NZ sits in the middle of my swearing repertoire. But
people do choose their words based on where they are. So what I'm going to get you to do is
practice auditory rapport 1st of all here. And this is going to mean that you are sitting down
with 2 other people...and this is a very simple thing that you have been able to do since you
were a baby...I'm just going to make you conscious of it. Now here's the deal....usually it
works fine....you do this automatically. But sometimes you get the feeling with a person....I
can't understand this person....Whats wrong? And that feeling is an indication that there's no
rapport. And then you have several choices, one of which is what we're playing with
now....which is auditory rapport.

I just want to show you something here...because we're going to practice after lunch and I'm
going to show you visual rapport and kinesthetic rapport. And what I mean by kinesthetic
rapport....You're listening to me speak..right? And you can hear that when I'm speaking, I'm
breathing out...so every so often I have to take in a breath...this is the rules...and by the way,
you can't breath in and speak very easily.. [demo].. its better to speak breathing out. So
naturally you have been listening to me talk for a day and now....[Richard talks in a long
flow now without any breaths and many in the group seem to be struggling to breathe] And
what I'd like you to notice what happens when I change something about this that instead of
carrying on speaking while breathing in and breathing out if I just carried on speaking in one
continuous flow like this then youd begin to get a feeling after a while like something very
important isnt happening and its not just for me that it isnt happening, its something thats
not happening inside you and it really needs to happen soon because. Take a breath. Got
that feeling? Now if you got that feeling thats because we're in rapport...you've been
breathing in time with me. And when I change my breathing...you're breathing changes and
you feel Breathe Richard damn you. So thats important to notice because its an
indication...if you're in rapport. And then when you suggest something to someone they'll be
willing to try it out. Everything you want to do with other human beings depends on this
ability. And you can learn it. You came prepackaged with it and its a balance. Its a balance
between your conscious mind and the part of your brain that generates rapport. Now this

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part we're going to play with 1st of all then ah Charlotte can I borrow your voice
[Demonstration with assistant trainer Charlotte] so Im not going to attempt to Charlotte
has an accent. Of course I dont have an accent yeah, I explain usually overseas that New
Zealand English is a really simple language to learn because we really only have one vowel
sound eer . So Charlottes going to say Rapport is the basis of all communication and Im
going to listen to her and try and say it back the same way. Now the first time I may not say it
so well so youre going to help me by telling me what I can improve. [Charlotte repeats the
statement R repeats it and tries to sound like Charlotte. Then the class gives R advice on what
he needs to do to tweak his voice to sound more like her and R has another go. First time
speed needs altering, then volume, then tone] So now Im going to do better, I promise; Im
learning; but youll still be able to hear . What youre kind of doing is checking How do I
know its Richard and not Charlotte speaking, and then you can help me to improve so
[Charlotte says say Rapport is the basis of all communication] Rapport is the basis of all
communication Now thats closer. Can you hear? What can I do to improve? The very
specific rhythm, theres kind of more emphasis on some parts. [Charlotte again says say
Rapport is the basis of all communication ] Rapport is the basis of all communication
Thats got a little bit more of the rhythm with it. So I can improve this. I could even speak
audibly after a while. [clapping]

So you're going to do this in a group of 3. Its real simple, and you don't have to do what I did
at the start exaggerating. So the 1st person is going to say the sentence and the 2nd person is
going to say it back and try to sound like the 1st person and the 3rd person is going to give
feedback about how to improve....Do it a couple of times and then rotate around. Got the
game? So you want to go and find 2 other human beings and have fun doing that.

So remember who you were with...Because we're going to do another little exercise in the
same group of 3. In that exercise...one of the things people say about auditory rapport
is...What if the other person is upset or angry? So 1st of all I want to show you that you still
need rapport...and rapport in your brain means... this person understands me. Cause imagine
if someone says..I'm really annoyed!!! Somethings got to change around here!!! [in angry
voice!!] And I say back...so you're a little bit bothered.. [demo mild voice].. wrong match.
Now I wouldn't say it back As Loud in the exact same way as the other person because when
someone is upset their hearing will be over sensitized..they actually hear things louder..
(which is an interesting physiological response .. because they're alert they hear things
louder).. But I'll say it closer to the way they're saying it.. what I'm going to do is I'm going to
start off close to where they are,..then I'm going to change.. [demo] So this sounds like this is
really important to talk about and I'm not sure if now is the best time to talk about it..or if we
should spend a little bit of time thinking about it and what we want out of it..and maybe come
back in an hour or so and..What would be best?.. Is it ok for us to go on and talk about it..or
would it be best in an hour..gradually [R slows it down to a normal speed and volume].. Now,
if I got rapport...the other persons answer will be in the same range as my last sentence there.
And if I didn't get rapport they will come back still sounding upset...so I know I haven't
caught them in order to lead them on. So when you have rapport..if you change the other
person will change with you. Thats an important thing to notice. So yes you can still use
this when someone is upset. We will before lunch do this next piece which is I'm going to
actually combine the visual and the kinesthetic stuff. Now what I'd like you to do 1st of all..Is
I'd like you to stay in the same body position you're in right now..ok Now I just want you to
have a look around and I want you to notice some things here... that happen...especially when
people have been in a group has been together...they will come back into the room and they

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will be sitting in a similar body position often. And people sitting near to them will often
have a similar body position.

So now you see the 3 people over here all have their hands reached out and connected here
and they all have their legs crossed...and they all have their Left leg crossed over their Right
at slightly different places but still the same leg. So if you have a look around the room
you'll see...look here are 2 people who are sitting in almost the same position again next to
each other. And so you'll see this happening a bit. And so you don't need to be trained in
this...this would just be something that would happen naturally. Now one thing thats
interesting about it is I want to show you 2 different ways of copying someones body
position and creating rapport...and I hope you can see from the back: [ pointing out 3 people
sitting in a row in similar position] the two of you have your left leg crossed over the top and
you [third person] have your right leg crossed over the top, and so these3 are two ways of
creating rapport. Now this one here [same leg crossed over] Im going to call matching its
like a copy, and this one here [opposite legs over the top] Im going to call mirroring its
like a mirror image...So these have a slightly different effect in your brain. So the mirror
image thing [shows another example with 3 other people] feels like in the brain...almost like a
mirror..so it feels like to this person that this other person is like a reflection of me. And if
they speak in your voice while they're in a mirror image position, the mirroring will feel to
you like its your internal thinking. So thats in a way more powerful. And because its more
powerful...And because its more powerful.. especially when I'm teaching groups of sales
people and groups of councilors...I want them to be a little careful with it. Because if you
get mirroring rapport with someone...they don't notice that the two of you are separate..and
they loose track of that and then you can sell them anything,...But the next day they'll wonder
why they bought it. You know like they'll go home and wonder..Why did I buy 3 vacuum
cleaners?.. I know..that guy he just seemed so nice. And that called buyers remorse. So thats
not a smart move either. So the aim here is to build rapport so that they feel like you totally
understand what they're trying to get here. And then have them experience making the
decision. So what I recommend you do, is mirror until you get to a decision point...which
would be called asking for the sale...And ask for the sale,..in a matching position. The
matching position gives them the feeling...We're similar..but..we're not the same. Cause I can
see they're not a reflection of me..they're just another person similar to me. So thats a useful
distinction to notice between matching and mirroring. And its also important in counseling
and coaching. So in counseling and coaching I want the person to feel like I really
understand what they're situation is like.

But when they make the decisions...like will I leave this job?..Will I leave this marriage? I
want them to make those decisions..not me. So I mirror them to build a strong feeling of
rapport...and then I shift back to matching and sort of take off the heat a little. So that they
know they are making the decisions in their life...not me. So the other thing we're going to
do at the same time is...I'm going to get you to practice mirroring..so you get the more
powerful effect. And the other thing you're going to do at the same time..is you're going to
breath in time with the person. So you're in the same group of 3 and it will be like this....Ok
so we'll have person A. person B. and person C. So person B. is just going to be. And person
A. is going to mirror..person B. so its like a reflection in a mirror and they're also going to
breath in time with person B. And person C. is just going to see what happens and time it for
2 minutes from the time that they start breathing together. 2 minutes ok? Now 2 minutes is
enough so that if they shifted their breathing,.. the other person would probably shift...thats a
very reliable thing. People breathe in time with each other quite a lot and if you have 2 people

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sleeping together in the same room they will tend to synchronize their breathing while they're
asleep. So its not a conscious thing and if one of them wakes up..then the other person tends
to wake up because their breathing changes and it breaks the other persons breathing pattern.
So how do you breathe in time with someone?..[because you are not going to be talking
during this] The way you can see how a person is breathing when they are sitting down...is
that usually their shoulders will go up and down.. [demo R breathing].. And if their arms are
not firmly held somewhere..then you'll see their arms will move in/out, as they breathe in/out.
If they breathe deeper into their abdomen then their abdomen will move in/out.. [demo].. So
all around the outside of their body you can see this movement. And if you absolutely cannot
see them breathing then ask them to move their hand up/down while they breathe and you
will then be able to synchronize with the hand movement and then see the other movements
out of the corner of your eye. [demo].. Now another important thing to know when you
breathe in time with someone is that people breathe at different rates. And if you're breathing
in time with someone who is breathing much faster than you...do not take such deep breaths
as you usually do. Other wise it happens like this..[demo]... And if their breathing much
slower than you usually do...take bigger breaths, cause their breathing really deep. And it
happens like this..[demo].. So watch their breathing and if its slower than you usually
breathe, you breathe deeper and lower.... and if their breathing is faster than you usually do,
breathe littler.

Keys to Success CD 2C

So your next mission should you decide to accept it will be......You will be in that same group
of 3
and 1 person going to is simply going to breath remember. And the 2nd person is going to
breath in time with them...so your going to sit in a mirroring position. So just to clarify that..
[demo]..R shows this is a mirroring position..right?..so it looks like a mirror image...my R leg
is crossed over the top..and your L leg is crossed over the top. Person A is going to breath in
time with person B. And they can ask them to move their hand up/down if you can't see the
breathing happening remember. You can actually see better by the way...you can see
movement better out of the edges of your vision. So if you stare straight at someone...there's
some cultural prohibitions against staring straight at someones chest anyway by the
way....But if you stare over their shoulder you actually get better information. So around the
edges of your vision the cells see movement very well...they don't see color very well. Color
is in the center and movement is around the edges. Its like if you think of an animal
eating..it needs to see any movement on the sides so it knows when to run..but here in the
centre is where you need the clarity of focus and knowing what you're eating kind of thing
ok? So if you just look over their shoulder often you can see their breathing out of the corner
of your eye. Now remember that thing..if they're breathing fast,..breath less..if they're
breathing slow,..breath deep breaths...cause thats what they're doing. And person C is
watching and when they start breathing in time.. they time it for 2 minutes and then quickly
find out what was that experience like. And ah your brain is kind of pre-built for this sort of
thing..as in breathing in time with people for rapport.........and so if you allow yourself to do
it...then usually its a relaxing thing to do. If you're not used to it of course then it might seem
a little strange and especially if you've been good at getting out of rapport. As a
generalization there's a bit of a gender difference with rapport as well...not to put too fine a
line on it guys but...women (and it tends to be cross cultural) women are often better at
rapport and men are better at breaking rapport. These are both important skills. Being really
good at rapport means you're at a party and someone is talking to you and you wish they

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weren't...but you can't stop them? ...and its because as they're talking you're nodding..[demo]
And so if you want to get out of rapport..you need to breath out of time with them,..stop
nodding,.. change body position...do the stuff that breaks up relationships. And this is true
also if you are a coach or a counselor. See counselors and coaches get so good at rapport.
You know..the person comes in and they get in and they listen to them....and if they're
working with a person who's depressed and he listens..[R demo of several depressed sorts of
people coming in 1 after another]....until at the end of the day...the counselor is wondering
Why do I feel so bad?...Why? Its just rapport.....So after your client leaves.......You want to
stretch and breath......Break rapport... OK so, you're going to get into rapport after about 2
minutes....you can get out of rapport again....and ah both those things are useful. Anything
else you need to know to have fun with this? Ok find those 2 people again and play with that.

See rapport isn't just something that happens accidentally for humans or for any animal...its
something thats crucial to their sense of understanding each other and trusting each other
and so on. And so it usually.. it should.. produce a relaxation kind of response. The skin
will get a little redder..and um there are ways that you'd notice that rapport is happening and
the skin will redden a bit and breathing often slows down a little bit when you're in rapport.
And sometimes a person will of course notice consciously..that somethings happened.

So when I was 1st learning these things...I would be learning when I was over in America and
then I'd come back on the plane to NZ..and so I'd...well you could imagine what I did....I'd
practice breathing in time with anyone who was sitting near me on the plane..And more often
than not, they'd turn to me and say in.. (in various verbal forms).. I've just got to tell you,
you've got a great energy. ..[oh yeah, sure, cause its yours]. So you will get those sorts of
experiences. What will often happen is... if you have a group who've been together for a
while...there will be sub groups in there who have rapport with each other. And so whats
interesting is to find out is...is there someone in that sub group who everyone else is actually
following?...who's doing the starting of movements. And so this is fantastic if you can find
that. So if you go into a group that you don't know...you watch everyone out of the corner of
your eyes...you watch everyones movements. And as someone starts moving and then other
people move in rhythm with them...so someone leans back and suddenly several people lean
back...you know that this person is what we call the Rapport Leader. And that no one
maybe aware of that consciously...but when they move..other people around them move.
Now this person in high schools is called the Ring Leader. And this is quite interesting
because it sounds rather unfortunate...it sounds like they're a nuisance..but they are just such a
gift. If you find someone like that in a group..all you need to do build rapport with that
person and...you've got that whole group. So for teachers who have someone who's 'the
problem kid'.. and when they do things and the other kids follow them...thats the person you
need rapport with...cause as soon as you've got them...you've got the whole group...and they
won't even notice that. There's several things that you can do in that situation...one of them..
can you open up your notes and can you just turn to pg. 12.. and can you take a pen.. And on
the Right hand side on pg 12 down at the bottom.. can you just underline section C .. just
underline that with a pen..[Richard doews the same while the group does it] oh can you just
underline that again. So what it says is...Ask the group to do something and do it with them.
And so you just directly start the activity that involves rapport. And this is so interesting
because the people in the group won't notice when your doing this. Like at the start of a
Practitioner Training I get people to do an exercise where they..turn around..and point and I
do it with them. And I'm quite open about it with them...I say, I'm going to do it with my

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Right hand.. and you are going to do it with your Left hand. And no one complains. Like no
one has ever said.. Excuse me,..are you deliberately making us mirror you? They've got too
many things to think about.. to think about that stuff,.. They're just trying to understand what
it is that I'm saying to them. So you can directly ask people to do stuff with you. Now in
most cultures this was a normal way of starting any group event..so people would start off
any group event in rapport. And in Europe what had happened was, this was true up until
about 300 years ago and then as the religion sort of fragmented across Europe into many
different religions...then it ended up with too many mass killings and things. And so it got to
be difficult for people to stand up and sing all sing a song together... Which of course would
synchronize everyones breathing.. you know when you sing a hymn together. But then,
when you had to chose the hymn and people would kill each other if it was the wrong one...it
got to be immediately a problem... So they stopped doing it. And thats a kind of a shame if
you think about it. You see what happened was all the rapport building activities have gone
out of Western culture. And it makes Western culture increasingly individually isolated... and
with the feeling there is no community in it. And its remarkable to go even to Japan and see
how much more community rapport there is. So that in Japan for example.. they have Obon
dances.. each year while I'm there in the summer time. And the Obon dances are community
events where the whole community comes together in the evenings.. and they'll probably go
until 2am or 3am over the summer holidays...and theyre dancing together in a circle and
everyone's doing the same movements at the same time. Very elderly
people,..children,..foreign tourists,..but you know with the whole community involved in
it,..In a way that you don't see as much in the West. So if we do have collective gatherings in
the West..like even when there's a fireworks display or something and people come together
into a park.. usually they are not in rapport....

So now you understand this basic idea of rapport...it is likely that you'll see it in lots of
different places.. Because it really is a fundamental of being human. Its a fundamental as
well of how people are successful in any area where you work with other humans. And its
what I mean by flexibility. When I say.. If you work with people,.. you set goals and then you
pay attention to what they're doing. And you need to pay enough attention so that you have
the flexibility then to adjust.. so that what you're doing makes sense in their world.. thats
all. Except there's a 5th thing. And the 5th thing is what I want to deal with next....and that
is....People who are highly successful...tend to be able to quickly get into the state of mind
that they would like to be in. And the way that they do that, is most of all by anchoring.

So I want to explain I mean by anchoring. An anchor is something that holds a boat in place.
And in NLP, an anchor is anything that holds you in a state of mind that you would like to be
in...an emotional state. So for example, you listen to the radio and you hear a song on the
radio that you haven't heard for years and years...and suddenly you get back the whole
feeling..of what it was like when that song was 1st out. Or. anchoring doesn't always
happen positively. You go to the Dentists office and you're only there to pay your account
and .. and as you walk in.. you smell that smell.. and your heart starts pounding.. Thats
anchoring. So, ah, anchoring is very effective...you don't have to wait for a long time,
thinking gee I wonder what it was like last time I was here at the Dentists office....ah yeah I
remember now and that happened and then that happened..You don't have to do that..its just
an instant thing.. you immediately get the feeling back. Now visual anchors that you're very
familiar with include things like your friends faces. Ideally when you see your friend you

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should feel happy before even saying anything.. this is the idea you see. And if you haven't
seen someone for a long time and you see them again..its useful for it to anchor you back
into a positive state. And what happens when couples are having arguments..is they look at
each other and feel angry. So they actually set up unpleasant anchors...and they need to
change those. It doesn't matter what you teach them when they're doing that. So that..
anchoring is not a conscious process..it is an unconscious process. Now anchoring is
absolutely necessary to any living animal..anyway. And the reason for that,.. is that you do
not have time to, consciously think through stuff ah in your life. So some things need to
happen automatically. So you understand that when something goes flying through the air
towards your eyes...you've got to blink them shut. And that response is preprogrammed. But
some responses can't be preprogrammed but they're just as essential. If you had an
unpleasant food and it caused your stomach to be upset...your body needs to respond to that
in such a way.. that you never do it again. Because historically if human beings wandered
into a new area and ate some new plant...they really don't get too many chances. If they eat
the wrong plant too many times.. then they're out of there. So your body needs to respond.
So what happens sometimes, is that a person eats some perfectly harmless food.. but they get
some kind of a tummy upset that came with the food....and then they feel sick when ever they
eat that food again. Some of you know people who have done that right? And of course
sometimes they will have in fact a convincing allergic response. And so an allergy is just an
anchor. An allergy is just an anchored response. What happens is that the stimulus creates
this response. So stimulus and response are jargon words and they come from
psychology...Because anchoring was 1st discovered in the West in 1902 by a guy called Edwin
Twitmyer in America. Now Edwin Twitmyer was a medical practitioner and so, I really
don't know what he thought he was doing, but some how he found, that if he hit his patients
on the knee with a hammer.. are you following this story?..this is a medical Dr...right.. He
found that if he hit his patients knee with a hammer...their leg would jerk up..[demo].. like
that..And he thought that was very interesting. But you know..there is no end to sadism..so
the next thing that occurred to him...was, what if I swing the hammer near, the knee after
that.. but don't quite hit it? This is weird right? But there you go. So the 1st time he went
like.. [this demo hitting knee] and the knee jerked. So the next time he went like.. [this demo
not quite hitting knee].. and the knee jerked anyway. And that really interested him.

Because he realized that the knee jerk was a reflex. It was not conscious, they did not think
about it. The message went from the knee up to the spinal cord and back. So how come it
was happening automatically even when he didn't hit the knee? He realized that there was
some kind of preprogrammed response system in a person..where once they'd had one thing
happen..it would trigger the whole response. So, as they saw visually...as they saw the
hammer come down again...the area in the brain that stored the memory of the hammer
hitting the knee,..was suddenly activated. The whole part of their brain that stored that
memory became active and the knee jerked as if it had happened.

Anchoring is an absolute survival thing...and of course some times it produces problems like
phobias. So ah when I was in Sarajevo for example...I'll tell you a story about this...and this is
a really interesting story because it shows you that, what goes on inside human beings..has
nothing to do with how serious the outside is.....It has to do what their brain makes sense of.
So, I'm working with Dr.'s in Sarajevo,..I trained most of the psychiatrists there...and this was
very soon after the war...and you couldn't walk outside the city anywhere cause there were
land mines in the fields all around the city.. and there were people still killing each other. We
traveled around in a van that had a sign on the side of it ..with a.. like a machine gun with

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like a No Smoking symbol across it. Like don't kill us please...kind of thing. And so
tanks on the streets and this kind of thing. And so the psychiatrists want me to teach them
how to eliminate post traumatic stress disorder...because 90% of the population in Sarajevo's
got it. For 3 years they've been getting shot at....they couldn't get out...and its like one of
those shooting galleries you know....and so it was very grim. So the psychiatrists have got
the same thing. So someone comes into the office and says..Can you help me Dr.? I'm
having nightmares and panic attacks. And so the Dr. thinks...Yeah me too.... what do we do?
Because we haven't got the money to buy the pills. And they certainly don't have the
psychiatrists to do psychotherapy with 90% of the population of the city. So anyway, I
offered to demonstrate this ...and they're all keen to fix themselves 1st of all. And so a guy
comes up... and I figure that my demonstration will be..it will probably be about the war...you
know like panic attacks about the war. But no. This guy says...I have a panic thing that
happens and it started when I was 18. When he was 18 he went on his 1st date with a
woman. And they met..it was all very romantic..they met in the old city of Sarajevo..which is
this beautiful, beautiful place..you know old buildings and so on. And so they met there and
he'd never been out with a woman before..and ah so it was kind of exciting..and ah then....As
he was talking to her, right in the market center there....She said, I've got something to show
you. And she reached into her blouse!!!...
Well!!..I don't know what he thought she was going to take out from there? But what she
actually took out,..was her pet white mouse...ok? So she reached in and took out a pet
white mouse. And he was really kind of shocked!!..like it wasn't what he really expected for
her to have in there. And in his shock he kind of backed off. And then he suddenly felt
embarrassed...Like gasp!! I've just acted like I was frightened of a mouse.. (and he's trying to
make such a good impression and he's shy and he's an 18 year old guy and).. So he's so
embarrassed .. that without thinking he ran out of the market square. And then he
felt...really bad!! And he thought oh, I've disgraced myself and so he never talked to this
woman again. Its a very sad story. So anyway a couple of years later the war starts and he's
trained as a Dr.. And guess what? When the sirens sound...everyone is supposed to run into
the nearest place and get down into the cellar to keep themselves safe from the snipers..like
there's snipers and they're firing shells and stuff like that. And, he can't do it. He can't run
into the nearest building and go down into the cellar....because in the cellars....there are
mice!! And he developed a phobia of mice. Which in the circumstances was one of the better
things he could have had a phobia of. If you track through all this, you know like and his
mind made at least a decent choice. Like he could have had a phobia of womens blouses.
And so he's got this phobia of mice. And this phobia of mice...is greater than his fear of
dying. Do you see what it means? Like he has seen human beings blown to bits around
him...and he still won't move...Because this fear response..this anchored response..is more
powerful than his conscious thinking.

Now it sounds dramatic but any phobia is like that...any addiction is like that...conscious
thinking says one thing...the anchored response gets them to do another thing. Anchoring is
very, very powerful. And ah the Christian group the Salvation Army....I'll tell you this little
story to explain their saying. You know the Salvation Army?...they sing songs and they bang
drums and stuff...How they started doing it was they would stand outside hotels where people
were out there drinking and there was prostitution and stuff like that. And their statement
was. Why should the devil have all the good tunes? Do you see...So when they would be
playing some tune inside and some women were dancing in scanty clothing...the Salvation
Army would be outside with their music making things...playing the same tune but singing

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Christian words to it. Do you see?..Why should the devil have all the good tunes? And its
the same with anchoring.....Why should all these bad things have control of this incredibly
powerful process? If these things like addictions and phobias can shift people into such
powerful states of mind..Thats there for a reason....and the reason is a good reason. The
reason is, so that you can get yourself instantly into the state of mind that you need for a
situation. Thats why anchoring was developed by our bodies. Anyway, 2 years after .. (you
remember Edwin Twitmyer right?).. he's the guy with the hammer...So he discovers it and
writes it up for the American Medical Association. And they said,We don't understand what
you're on about Ed. So 2 years later there's this guy in Russia, Ivan Pavlov...and Pavlov..
does this ring a bell for some of you?..slow to catch on. Ding!! I couldn't resist. So Pavlov
keeps dogs..you know some people like cats.. some people like dogs. And he's got this thing
where he rings a ..actually a tuning fork and he feeds his dogs. Now after he's done that for a
couple of nights he rings the tuning fork and the dogs salivate, as if there's food there. So he
thought this is really interesting....Same thing he recognized as Edwin Twitmyers thing. But
this time the anchor is an Auditory anchor right? So the anchor that Edwin Twitmyer had was
a Visual anchor.. the vision of the hammer coming down. So he realizes wow this can work
Visually,..it can work Auditorally,..it could work Kinesthetically. You know someone puts
there hand on your shoulder in the way that someone else has when they congratulated
you...and suddenly you feel good.. (something like that).. So he wrote this up in Russia and
this time the Russian Academy of Sciences was very impressed! They said Comrade, after
the revolution you are going to be very, very famous. And he was.

And so ah this was 1904 that they wrote this up. And so ah, it didn't really catch on in the
West and this was partially because anything that caught on in Russia,.. the West didn't like.
And um then the other reason too is that...its about Pavlov's experiment I suspect. Like I've
had a lot of clients come to see me wanting change, but I've never actually had someone
come in and say Richard, What I would really like is if you could make it that if anyone
rings a bell I could dribble at the mouth? . They don't want that. But what they do say is.. I
would like it so that when I stand up in front of a group of people I feel confident. And that
has the same structure. I would like it so that when I eat foods with coriander in it, I feel
comfortable and enjoy them. And that has the same structure.. right? Stimulus = Desired
Response So you can use this process once you understand it. Now we're going to do that
in 2 ways this afternoon. I'm going to get you to set 2 anchors. Stimuli that you have control
of, that can get you into the state of mind you want to be in. And its only fair that I say, since
I told you how anchoring developed in the West...that I say, when I'm training in China and
in Japan, when I tell them these story's...they kinda laugh...because of course they've known
about anchoring for 1000's of years there. So like in China and Japan and in India...they
have this whole thing where someone wants to learn to relax deeply...they call it meditation..
right? So they go to a teacher, now here's what the teacher does... the teacher gets in rapport
with them...so he or she breathes in time with them and.. and sits in the same position as
them.. and shows them how to do this kind of internal technique to relax their mind. But
basically what happens is the teacher goes into the state. This is why they always say in these
traditions....You've got to have a teacher....You can't do it from the book. Cause the teacher
goes into the state....and the meditation student goes in by rapport. So once their in that state
of mind..very relaxed meditative state..the teacher does 3 things.. They say this position that
your sitting in now and this hand position.. (the hand positions are called mudra's)..right?.. So
different hand positions for different meditative states..So they say to them..this hand
position..use this hand position when you want to get back into this state. So you see what it
is...Its a kinesthetic anchor..when they use this same hand position... they start to go back into

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this same state. And then they say.. Now I'm going to tell you a secret word.. (don't tell
anyone else).. [demo] ing, om you know but its secret..something in another language
that they don't normally use..like Sanskrit or one of these languages. So they tell them the
word...and when they say that word... (of course they only hear that word when theyre in
that state) So they say that word...and they go straight back into that state. And the other
thing they do is they say..Here is a picture..here's a design..a very unusual design called a
mandala..and its a very special mandala...and so when you see this...this is what you visualize
when you go into this state. So you get whats happening here....This is a very specific
creation of a Visual, Kinesthetic and Auditory anchor. Visual=Mandala Auditory=Mantra
Kinesthetic=Mudra And these 3 things together.. and I'm not collecting them together..
these 3 things are collected together. And they're known to be the 3 techniques and they
know its Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic. And for the different people, one of these is
going to be more powerful. And so they teach this and they call it Esoteric Buddhism and all
sorts of things. But basically its the same kind of stuff I'm teaching here. But when I go
over there they pay me money to tell them again. And here's why, because they.. people in
Japan nowdays, they thought it was mumbo jumbo...they thought it was nonsense you know.
So I say, Oh no there's science behind it...here it is, and I show them the same thing they've
been doing for 1000's of years. And thats what NLP is. Got how that works? Its really
simple kind of process.

So we're going to use that. Now people who are able to get into the state of mind they want
to get into quickly..they do this naturally..they do it without thinking. And successful
organizations use anchoring naturally. And so you understand that most of advertising is
anchoring..right? So what you do is get people into a state of mind that they would
enjoy..show them pictures of people at a party..and then you flash some product at them thats
some kind of meaningless carbonated sugar beverage or something....and it becomes
anchored in their mind with having fun at parties. Do you see how crafty?.. ...its a very
simple thing. And ah, so its useful for us to learn to take charge of this ourselves. Effective
successful people anchor themselves into the state of mind they want to be in. They don't
wait for the TV commercials. So we're going to do 2 anchors, the 1st one is going to be a
relaxation anchor. Its very, very important for you to be able to relax..and..relax quickly.
Most of the people I'm training do not have time to spend 20 minutes getting into a relaxed
state. They want to be able to relax immediately. And by the way thats whats happening
when people are good at meditation. The difference between someone who's new to
meditation and someone who's not...is mostly that someone who's been doing it a bit..they're
anchored into the deeper meditative state as soon as they sit down. Whereas the person who's
new to, it is kind of practicing it each time. So a relaxed state is really useful. And the 2nd
state I want you to be able to get into instantly....is a state thats more active and confident.
So we're going to set an anchor for each of those. Does this sound interesting? So the
relaxation one... I'm going to do in the whole group.

Do you think you could use anchors on training? Like imagine...imagine this...imagine if you
could be doing a training, and there could be a place where when you go to that place,..people
would start to relax anyway...[demo by sitting in the place R has used for relaxation and
stories before]...thats right...imagine that.....Cause you know, this would be quite useful
wouldn't it? See and then you could have a place..like you could have a place where you
could give information...so when your explaining things..that people just kind of listen...you
know and they take in the information. [R goes to the place where he lectures] And then you
could have a another whole place...you could have a place where you ask for questions...You

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see how that would work? [sitting in the chair where he asks for any questions from the
group]... Its just an idea. And so when you sat in this place people would start asking
questions. And this works really well...it even works in places like Japan and China where
traditionally people don't ask questions of their teachers.

You know like the sensei the laoshi is a very important person. And so their very respectful
of that person....and they don't expect them to make jokes..like I do. Come to my course in
Japan and you'll get the joke free version. Well not quite..but..I can't resist some of it..you
know. But the advantage of having these different anchors,..is that it gets You into a slightly
different state. And you'll start to notice that...especially those people who are here...ah for
the whole week. You start to notice that when I'm in different places....different things
happen inside you as well. And so...relaxation....thats right....

Now, I want to remind you about relaxation [sitting in the relaxation chair]...and I'm going to
ask you to do something else as you relax this time. I'm going to ask you to choose 3
things...and the 1st is a hand gesture that you can make with the hand thats free while your
writing....for me thats my Left hand. And so the hand gesture, will be a gesture that you
don't usually make. So you know, if you make this gesture usually or something,.. not that
one....Its already anchored to other things. It could be as simple as pressing your thumb
against one of the fingers that you wouldn't usually press it against...folding the thumb into
the hand...ah, touching 2 of the fingers together. Just something that you don't usually do.
You see how they invented all these little gestures...(this is a teaching mudra by the
way)...You know the things you see the statues doing? These are all mudra's and they're all
anchors for different states of mind. So they look kind of weird because they all need to be
different.. .. different anchors for different states. Ah so ah, so they had to have very special
meditation postures and things like that....And now you understand of course that they're
praying. However you hold your hands if you pray...thats a mudra as well....thats a
anchor...it gets you into the state...reverence...respect. So choose a gesture you don't usually
make. This is going to be an anchor for relaxation. Choose a word that you don't usually
say... that is going to mean relax....that is going to cause you to relax immediately. Now if
you ah, if you like..you could choose a word from a different language if you like. Its no
use using Japanese cause the only word they use for relax is relax. Maybe they didn't used to
relax until the Europeans came there. You think I'm joking...[R starts trance talk].. So ah but
in Chinese for example fa-song means relax. And so you could choose a word that isn't a
word you'd usually use, that means relax. Pause And its going to be anchored so that when
you say this word to yourself...you will relax...So choose a word like that.. [R louder].. It can
be a phrase in English or another language you know..[trance talk].. Like, slow down...,as
long as its OK every time you say that...for it to cause you to relax....this works..you know...
Got something?..and... Got a gesture? You can let go of the gesture for now...but choose one
so you know. Pause And the 3rd thing is to remember a time and a place where you've
been really relaxed and comfortable and safe. Maybe a place when you were on holiday.
You know just a wonderful place where you relaxed. Maybe a favorite place of yours where
you go either...outside or inside that you go, when you really want to relax....and you feel like
its your space... and you really relax there. And in your mind, see what you would see if you
were in that place. Now I just want to be absolutely clear here, that when I tell you to
imagine or see or visualize something... some people say..Ah, I don't see pictures in my
head. See I'm not asking you to see pictures like real things. When people
visualize,..when they see things in their head...theyre only pretending. Thats really
important to know..right? Because the pictures in your head are not meant to look real like

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the pictures outside do. If they do, they give you drugs for that...so we're not wanting that.
What we're wanting is for you to imagine stuff. Its very important for you to. People get
puzzled about it and they say I can't visualize and I say...How do you find your way home
at night? Cause do you have the address written down? Or do you just look at the house and
recognize it? Cause thats all I meant. If you can look at your house or apartment and
recognize it out of all the 100's and 1000's of houses.... thats all I mean. You must have a
picture thats good enough to compare them and know...oh yeah, thats mine. So what you're
going to do, is remember something that you saw, in that place where you felt safe and
relaxed. And it could simply be a tree or color of the wall or um just some object that was
there that reminds you of that place. Got those 3 things? 1x Visual 1x Auditory 1x
Kinesthetic
Cool. So now,...relaxing... I said a little about relaxing yesterday. And you remember I was
saying that when people relax....certain things happen inside. And I explained that as you
relax..your vision (defocuses)..Your eyes get more relaxed....and your hearing (defocuses) as
well. As you relax..the sound of my voice may become a little (echo-y) as well. And at the
same time of course, you may notice that .. your breathing has slowed down. And one of the
nice things about it..is that..as you relax.. you begin to realize that.. your attention is just here
and now. And that you can't even remember the things that I was saying just 3 or.. 4
sentences ago....Notice that now That you know that now I'm talking about relaxingbut
what was I saying just before? .. It's drifted away .. because when you're relaxing,.. you
don't need to remember stuff.....you just need to be here .. comfortable now .. And now you
can trust your unconscious mind to store all those other memories that you might need at
other times. And for now just to relax and be here .. listening to the sound of my voice.
And enjoying how easy it is to slow down inside. And remembering those places and times
you've relaxed before .. is part of how you relax..now.

And what I mean by that, is remembering times....not just times when you did a relaxation
exercise,.. you know, where they say, Your toes are relaxing.. and your feet are relaxing..
and your heels are relaxing and so on. But I mean even those everyday times when you
drift into a relaxed state.. and you're just kind of looking around without too much thought
about it ... and that kind of relaxation is all I mean. And its interesting to notice as you enjoy
your ability to do that....that its not your conscious mind that knows how to relax .. its your
unconscious. Your conscious mind may have theories about how you relax.... But as you
know...as you fall asleep.... there's a time when your conscious mind just wanders off
thinking about other things. And if you want to.. you can give your conscious mind
something to think about now. Because you don't need to think about anything
unconsciously. Think about that...as you notice again...how much your breathing slows.
And you can enjoy..the quietness in the room.... the fact that as you relax...your body heals
itself easier....changes take place inside the brain....make it more possible for you to enjoy
things....and you begin to realize that..its very enjoyable to let yourself drift off like that
now...And as you relax.. even more.. thats rightI'd like you to take that hand thats free
when you write .... and make that gesture that means relax....just take that hand and make the
gesture thats free .. to relax. If you write with your right hand ... then your left hand is left ..
to make the gesture. If you write with your left hand ... your right hand is right .. to make the
gesture pause. If you write with your Left hand .. your right hand is left when you write.
And you can be left with the sense that the words don't matter .. right? .. now .. Because its
right to be left with a sense of enjoyment about this. As you make that gesture the subtle
touch of those fingers you can feel how you start to relax even more. Your conscious mind
wandering and wondering Your unconscious relaxing ... as you say that word to

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yourself .. now .. the word that will mean .. relax .. or the phrase that means .. slow down ..
enjoy relaxing now. And just appreciate how saying that inside in a slower voice causes you
to relax .. now .. As you appreciate remembering that time and place where you felt safe and
relaxed .. and really enjoy that place .. in your mind the things you can see .. maybe just the
color of a wall or a tree .. some object that reminds you of relaxing ..now .. And feel how easy
it is .. to relax .. now your conscious mind knows that your unconscious is . And your
conscious has all sorts of ideas. And its not your conscious mind thats relaxing now. And
you can think many things as your body relaxes .. now .. Just as you do as youre drifting off
to sleep. Just as you do in the place that you usually sleep .. which reminds you of how easy
it is to relax .. now .. just like this .. The gesture reminds you of relaxing. And if you say the
word again to yourself .. reminds you of relaxing.
And even remembering that place where you feel safe and relaxed .. reminds you of
relaxing .. now .. thats right...And then gently let go of that gesture...gently let go of the
word...let go of the image very gently...come back to breathing ..Come back to being here in
the room..[R breaths in/out] Welcome back. So ah as you come back, what I'm going to get
you to do, is to carefully stand up. Right, you do want to be a little careful about this, you
know like when you wake up in the morning.

So ah Pavlov of course, Pavlov he actually did go on to do a whole lot of other stuff by the
way ...
apart from the things about dogs. He realized that this would have other implications and
some of his later experiments I think are really, really useful. And they're not so well known
in the West. He actually also investigated things like ah the anchoring that happens with
allergies. Now one of the things that you'll notice is that .. when you've been in a relaxed
state, if you try and think back .. now .. you're not sure how much time it was .. you know? ..
now .. And its a very interesting thing isn't it? .. you know .. the difference like .. huh? What
happened? You know ..? I mean like, this is normal .. everything here is normal .. This is
just what you do when you drift off to sleep during the day. Its just that I'm drawing your
attention to it. So you can learn how to do it .. right? And ah so I'll get you to stand up ...
Because, I want to do what's called a Break State. Now a Break State is a state between
states .. because we're going to test the anchors that you were playing with .. right? So a
Break state is where you come back to kind of a more everyday state and I want you to be a
little more active. So I want to get you to stretch. So I'm going to show you a very simple
Chi Kung physical exercise .. just very, very simple .. which is very useful if you're sitting
down for long periods. So this exercise doesn't look very elegant .. um I'll demonstrate it and
ah its very simple. You stand 1st of all with your feet ... (you might want to move out and use
some space because you're going to stand with your feet reasonably wide apart) .. Now in the
West when we stand with your feet apart we often put our toes pointed out. And so with this
exercise .. if anything .. you want to have your toes pointing a little bit in, so your feet look
parallel from the sides. Yeah, and bend your knees just a little bit. If you are used to this ..
don't bend them over your toes, just a little bit. And so ah, what you're going to do then
is ... gently hold your hands together up here like this .. in a gentle fist .. just soft. And ah,
now I'm going to show you the rest .. in a moment you're going to.. (this is a Chi Kung
exercise).. In a moment you're going to pull your arms back .. you're going to pull the chin
in .. and the inelegant bit is... youre going to stick your bottom out like a duck. [demo] so
its like this...so it makes a bow .. of your back so its an arched sort of bowing of the
back. And its nice if it has that sort of nice clicking kind of feeling. [R makes ohhh ahhh
enjoyng a stretch sound] Cats do this sort of thing naturally by the way... have you noticed
this? No wonder they can leap up into the ceiling and back again. So ah yeah, so you pull

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back like that ... And then, you're going to tilt the other way. Now relax for a moment, I'll
show you something about tilting the other way. Whats important about tilting the other way
is a movement made famous by a very well known American Chi Kung Practitioner ....
Elvis Presley. And its this movement here [demo] right .., which he became famous for
actually. And so its called a pelvic tilt. And actually if you've ever had a baby, which I must
confess I haven't .. um .. then they teach you to do this. Cause its a kind of really ah good for
ah your muscles, tendons and stuff. So, so, so when you come back from this ....you tilt the
pelvis the other way around. So that you're going to go in like this, tilted the other way
around. Got that? And now the back is tilted the other way. You can see why its good if
you're sitting down. So its bent the other way .. bowed the other way. And then you breath in
.. pull the chin back .. and then stretch back .. duck position .. breath out .. Elvis Presley ..
breath in .. breath out. Now, relax for a moment and I'll show you the final bit of this
exercise which is .... In Western exercise up until recently .... recently being since Pilate's
exercises became famous... There was a lot of attention to arms and legs. And not much
understanding of .... In Asia there's a lot of attention to the central areas of the body. To the
abdominal muscles and the ilio psoas muscles at the back here. And these are considered to
be in Chinese medicine its considered the kind of battery of energy that you get when you're
born is stored where these things called the ilio psoas are. So what we're going to do is use
these central muscles here to do that whole movement, instead of the arms. So when we go
back, instead of pulling back with the arms .. I'm just going to relax the arms .. when I pull
my chin back .. and stick out (bottom) .. the arms automatically will float back .. and when I
come forward, I'm not pulling the arms forward .. I'm moving only my back bone
.. its the opposite of 'let your fingers do the walking'.. I'm moving only the back bone and so
the hands will come in .... so try that .. breath in .. and pull the chin back .. the arms float back
.. and breath out .. and bend forward .. the arms float forward .. breath in .. breath out .. relax
the arms .. cool ..and now just kind of shake the arms and legs a little bit ...............

Ok now, as you come back into the room, the other thing I want you to do is .. I want you to
get a little bit of an experience of what technically we call stress. So you know just have a
check through .. so you're here for the weekend or maybe for the week .... Did you get
everything done did you? .. So office work all sorted and tidied up? .. And ah Inland
Revenue, thats all fine is it? .. Family and home thats all organized right? Kids are all
happy and that sort of stuff? And its fine going to a training in the day and going home and
cooking meals in the evening ..and thats all ok? So ah just think of those things and oh yeah,
answered all your e-mails have you? Kept track of all those things in the last few days as
you were getting ready to come here for this week/weekend? Good, so what I'm getting you
to do .. is to think of some of those things that usually will get peoples hearts pounding a
little bit.

Ok so now we want to check that anchor. So now what I'd like you to do, is to go back to
your seat pause .. and I'd like you to sit down .. [trance talk] .. and make that gesture ..
that's right .. make that gesture with the hand thats free when you write .. and say that
word to yourself that means relax .. and remember that place where you felt safe and relaxed
.. and notice the feeling in your body .. as you go back into that state .. in just a few seconds
things change very much .. you may notice a different sensation in your body .. you may
notice the quietness .. you may notice your mind drifting a little .. or you may not notice at
all .. but just enjoy allowing it to happen .. thats right .. very good because you don't
usually notice consciously as you fall asleep .. sometimes you may remember the very
moment after you fall asleep .. what it feels like to realize you've gone into that restful

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comfortable state .. easily .. thats right .. And gently let go of the gesture .. let go of the
word ... let go of the image from that memory .. And come back to being in a more central
sort of state.

So now one of the disadvantages of doing anchoring in a group is that its a kind of
averaging experience. So you notice that some people who basically fell asleep during the
anchoring process and then there's some people who are sitting there thinking 'ah yeah I'm a
little relaxed' right? So what we're going to do in the next process is individually do it. So
you can catch the person before they fall asleep. And we,re going to anchor something else
apart from relaxation, we're going to anchor ah kinda energy and confidence. And there's
another thing about when you do remember to use it by the way. Like sometimes if you
remind yourself now .... there's a nice thing about when you do use it .... Sometimes people
say to me 'wow it really worked in the group .. you know when I sat down again you know I
could really feel I relaxed again' but then they say 'like I was nervous .. sigh .. I was worried
that a lot of things were going on and then I was thinking .. sigh .. oh this is not so good .. and
so I used that anchor that I used in the group and .. [demo physiology, biting nails and trying
to use hand gesture anchor for relaxation] .. it didn't work as well .. it was a little better
but ......... Now do you see what they're doing? .... They're doing 2 anchors. So of course
they get a designer state. So a kind of middle kind of state based on the 2 of them. So if you
want to use this anchor and you want to get the experience of anchoring with it .... then what
I recommend you do 1st of all is .... kind of stretch and let go of anything else that might be an
anchor in your body ..........
And then use the anchor.

You know John Gottman remember who did the research about couples, you remember all
that? And what he found, he found that because he's measuring peoples pulses and brain
waves while their having discussions. And what he found is that...If I the person get a pulse
rate that is over 95 .... then in all the 100's and 100's of times that he studied it - that there was
never a successful conclusion to an argument. So it doesn't matter what you say. .. when
someone is upset enough so their pulse rate goes over 95 beats per minute ... they might as
well stop. And see here's what he did, once he realized that was happening, he did a little
experiment. He would see on his monitor that one of them had a pulse over 95 and of course
that means that they're not going to resolve the argument. So then he would go in to the room
and he would say to the couple 'look we've got a problem with our equipment and the
problem is .. its not monitoring so could you just wait for a moment until we've got it fixed
and then carry on with the discussion. And then he would go back to the monitors and
watch .. (of course there was nothing wrong with the equipment) .. he would watch until the
pulse rate came down below 95. And then he would go back into the room to the couple and
he would say 'the problem with the equipment is fixed now .. so could you go back to the
argument carry on with the discussion' .. And then they would sort it out. So whenever the
pulse rate of one person was over 95, there was never a successful conclusion to the
argument. But if he gave them time to calm down .. then they would be able to sort it out.
And so of course anchoring gives you the ability to do that quicker. It just means that if you
detect that you or your partner is more upset than they would need to be in order to sort this
out .. then you can sort of call Time Out and take some time to calm down. Anchoring
absolutely will be running a lot of things in your life ... because its a fundamental part of
being an animal basically and a human therefore. It would be really good if you could choose
when you get anchored.

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And we're not adding something new here .. .. we're just learning how to get in charge of this
stuff. See anchoring even works with ah .. .. they do studies with things called (Planeria)
which are flat worms .. very simple life forms and ah its a bit mean what they do but none of
them are killed by what they do. They put them on a metal plate and they give them a mild
electric shock and flash a light and so the flat worms go Ow! Ya know like this, and they do
this a couple of times and then they just flash the light .. which they normally wouldn't care
about and they go Ow! Because they're anchored. So its a really really basic thing. You do
not require any brain to be anchored. You know this is important to understand .. because
some people say 'ah I don't think anchoring works for me' As long as you've got the
intelligence of a flat worm you're fine with this alright. But if anchoring, so called isn't
working .... its not because you haven't got enough brain or ability to do it .... Its because
you've got too much bullshit detection. Thats all .. thats the only thing. Cause thats why
Pavlov never had that problem .. Like he never had dogs coming and saying 'This just isn't
working for me.' Dogs just don't have enough available brain real estate to think about that
stuff you know. Creative solutions to problems come when people are able to switch of their
conscious thinking. And whatever you do .. and it doesn't have to be just relaxing by the
way .. its anything that distracts your conscious mind. So complex tasks um are also .. thats
why when I'm doing relaxation processes I actually say often some complex things. You
know all this stuff about right and left that I was saying. It entertains your conscious mind.
And while your conscious mind is entertained your unconscious mind gets a chance to ......
This is how come most people fall asleep. That its not that they know relaxation processes ....
they just lay in bed thinking about complex enough things so that their brain shuts off ... Well
you know just like listening to the words.

You know, like some times people have a voice that tells them off. Which is fine ... but
sometimes they run it at full volume?! And they don't know that you're allowed to turn down
the volume?! And sometimes they have that voice that tells them off in their head. Now I just
want you to know that .. You do not have speaking apparatus in your head. So if you hear a
voice inside your head .... you're imagining it. We're all clear about this ..
right? Its all fine .. But if you can imagine it inside your head .... then you can imagine it
inside your big toe .. right? Its just the same. People get this fantasy about it .. they think it
really is inside their head. I say 'where's the voice?' .. they say 'inside my head of course'
Thats just a fantasy. You're just imagining it there. And look .. why would you imagine it up
here? Its way too close! Put it down in your big toe. If its going to say nasty things .. you
don't want it up here! Put it somewhere else. Actually you're allowed to put it on the floor
and walk away. I mean this is only a submodality shift ... You understand ... If you think
you've got a voice in your head .. You've imagined it there. Your voice comes out of your
throat. Even when you talk to yourself. If we wire up someones throat and they talk to
themselves .. we can track what it is that they're saying. The favorite thing that people like
John Gottman do. Here's how you can discover that thats true. Say some things to
yourself .. start talking to yourself .. don't tell me what .. just say anything you know .. and
as you're talking to yourself .. open your mouth and relax your jaw ... now carry on talking to
yourself ... and notice how your voice changes. Its like ... [R demo's literally trying to talk
with your mouth open and relaxed which is garbled and funny] Right? .. When you talk to
yourself, .. it moves all this stuff. I tell you what, its really fun to be in charge of all this stuff
you know. Otherwise things happen inside your body and brain and its like ....Where on
earth did that come from .... you know like. Thats right, sometimes there's voices you just
want to say ... Thanks for sharing. Cause its not always .... just because its a voice from your
head .... doesn't mean that its smart .... you know .... you don't have to listen to it all. You

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understand that? Some of it is just anchored responses. Like stuff that people taught you to
say to yourself when you were younger .. and you just kind of accepted that .. thats the way
people talk to themselves .... or to you.

Yeah, so ah, here's what we're going to do .. We're going to do a resource anchor. And so this
a anchor for confidence and you're going to do it in a pair. So this is actually a experience of
what I would do as a coach .. when I'm guiding someone to change something using NLP.
And um, So its like what we just did. Its got the same structure .. the same steps to it .. but ..
you're going to do it individually. So have a look in your notes where it is .... its on pg 15.
Now if I was doing this with someone ... who's new to this ... I would explain anchors to
them. And usually, I'd just say .. Hey, its just like when you heard a song on the radio ..
and it reminds you of the feeling you had ages ago. .. and you don't have to sort of wait and
think about it .. it just whoosh comes back ... and you feel like that ... you know? Sometimes
smells do this. Have you ever had this experience? Ok so what we're going to do is ....
We're not just going to set an anchor this time though. We're going to use the anchor to
change a connection in your brain. So we're going to use the anchor to change the way that
you respond .. in a real life situation.

I'll show you what I mean. So we choose, the anchor that we're going to use. We're going to
use a kinesthetic anchor .... a gesture .. (not the same gesture please .. because this one is
kind of energized confidence) .... and choose the anchor and then choose the situation in your
life where you would like to feel confident. So ah this is not by the way .. a phobia kind of
thing where you'd like to not go screaming from the room .... there are other processes I'd use
for that .. right. So this is more like a situation where .. with a certain kind of person and you
feel a little nervous. Or ah, in a certain situation where you feel ok .. but .. you don't feel
enthusiastically confident like usual. Like sometimes when I'm working with people in
business and they have this thing that they do which is essentially its called 'Cold Calling'
And they're going to phone someone .... and the person has never talked to them before. And
um they might call it warm or something but they have some idea that the person might have
some interest in what they do .. but that .. thats all they know. NLP Practitioners do it
because .. ah .. because see, .. if you're a NLP Practitioner working with clients .... then you
really probably want to contact people like Doctors and let them know what you're doing.
And say, 'Hey here's how I could help with what you're doing. And can I come and talk to
you about it?And so sometimes I notice that Practitioners get a little uneasy with that sort of
task. And this is the sort of thing you can change with an anchor. Not just that you'd need to
use the anchor when you'd phone them up .... but you could change it .. now .. so that when
you go to phone them up Clap .. It triggers automatically a feeling of confidence.
.Sound useful? So this would be ah .. sometimes people have a certain kind of situation
with their family .. you know .. when the kids do this .. then they get into an unresourceful
state. They get frustrated and they don't know what to do and they start thinking .. I should
know how to manage this better .. or something. Or it could just be a time .. when you feel
ok but you just don't feel confident and energized and enthused about what you're doing.
You know, like when you feel really enthused about something like really confident .. then
most tasks are a lot easier .. they happen a lot faster. Have you ever had something where
you put it off for a long time .. cause you thought uuuu its yucky .. I don't know if I can .. I
don't think I'll enjoy it .... and stuff like that? And then, When you do it .. click .. swhoosh ..
You go right straight through it .... And the only difference is the state of mind. You just got
into the state where 'ok I'm going to do it now'.

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So what we're going to do ... is once you've chosen the anchor,..chosen the situation like that
you'd like to change.. then I ask the person to think about that situation.. (I'll demonstrate)..
I ask that person to think about the situation they want to change.. and think about what it
feels like now.. (now you saw me do this yesterday with the demonstration of setting a
goal).... So I ask the person before we start.... Think about it now, what does it feel like? And
then I say to them an interesting sentence.... I say.... So you'd know if that felt different in 10
minutes wouldn't you?
Now, I want to tell you something that we're not learning yet.. but we'll learn on the
Practitioner course about language and about presuppositions in language. Presuppositions
means whats assumed.. (we're not learning this yet).. Presuppositions means.. whats
assumed in the language.. right? Its like I say.... Is there anything else you need to know to
have fun with this exercise?.. right? And if you don't say anything.... Then your brain
thinks.... ok, so I'm ready to have fun.
Do you get how that...? Not your conscious mind, your conscious mind can detect things
like that
but your unconscious doesn't have a show. So here's the presupposition in this question.... I
say to this person.. So you would know if that felt different in 10 minutes right? And they
go.. Yes I would. And do you hear what they've just accepted? They've accepted that in 10
minutes time they could feel different. If I said directly to them .. Do you think in 10 minutes
that could change so that you feel totally different? They might say no. But I didn't say that.
I said.. You'd know if it happened wouldn't you? And they go.. Yes. 100's of people, I've
never had someone disagree with me. Pause Very interesting. So, when I ask them that...
we're done. You know, the rest of it is just fancy words. They agree because its kind of
difficult to work out what the hell I said. People like to pretend that they know whats going
on you know.

See you need to understand that this is not something you'd want to do with someone who
didn't want to go, right? I'll tell you a story about it.... Do you know Boy Scouts? You
know Boy Scouts they do a good deed each day..you know..their supposed to. Theres this
story about 3 little Boy Scouts... And at the end of the day they come to the Scout Leader and
the Scout Leader says, Well, you 3 little boys... what was your good deed today? Johnny,
what did you do? And Johnny said, Please sir I helped an old lady across the road. And the
Scout leader said, Thats the spirit Johnny, thats the sort of thing we want Boy Scouts to do..
good on you, you've done your good deed for the day. Timmy what was your good deed?
And Timmy said, Please sir I helped the same little old lady across the road. So now the
Scout Leader thinks well, fair enough some old ladies are not so little you know, so fair
enough 2 of them helped her across the road. Thats a good deed Timmy well done. Joey
what was your good deed today? And Joey says, Please sir I helped the same little old lady
across the road. So now the Scout Leader is suspicious. And he says, Wait a minute here,
why would it take 3 Boy Scouts to help one little old lady across the road? And Joey says,
Well please sir...you see sir...she didn't want to go. Thats not a good deed . that doesn't
count. And you know why? Because when you leave her over on the other side of the
road....she'll go straight back. You'd better understand.. that because if you use these
techniques with people and they didn't want to go....they will go back. And then they'll be
annoyed. Thats not smart.. thats not good business. And that isn't really a good way to
bring up your family either. So of course you can achieve all sorts of fun things with NLP.
Like if you look on the Internet you'll see some really mistaken ideas about how to use this
stuff. You'll see that there are people on the Internet who advertise ways for how to get
people to have sex with you when they didn't want to.. using NLP.. you know. And what a

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silly thing to do...not just for them..but for yourself.

Cause thats the structure of it..So what I do is, I do the SPECIFY model 1st (goalsetting).
And you see that last bit that says.. Your Resources?....thats this. So when we get to the end
of setting their outcome... Then I say, Well you know.. have you ever have a time when you
did get this kind of thing to happen? And as they describe it...I say just press your fingers
together as you think about that now. Its pretty cool isn't it? And then I say.. Now thinking
about that.. go back and think about that thing you want to achieve.. and notice how good
thats going to feel. You saw me do that yesterday? Now your learning it. So here's what I
do next.. I say.. Now step into a time when you felt confident.. (but I don't quite say that)..
because we're going to anchor confidence. But if I say step into a time when you felt
confident.. here's what they usually do.. They think of a time when they felt really scared.. but
they managed to hold it together. Thats not what I meant. Well I was really nervous there but
I managed to do it. Thats not what I meant by confident. What I mean by confident.. is
having fun. So what I say is.. Think of a time when you were really enjoying yourself. See
like, when people are really confident.. they don't call it confident.. cause its too much fun.
Like some people are confident....... Like I'm confident teaching. I don't think at the
beginning of the day.. gee I hope I can manage my teaching. I told you this is my hobby.. you
know. Like I have trouble turning it off. Ask Julia when she comes. So this is a fun thing
for me. And thats what I mean by confident. Now some people have confidence when they
change a tire on a car. They know it cause they're just good at that kind of stuff. They just
go.. ah yeah I can do this.. its really simple. Other people would look at it and woah!..I hope
that never happens to me cause I couldn't do that. Do you get the.....? Confidence means.. its
just fun to do. Some people feel confident baking a cake. I always wonder when I bake a
cake.. is it going to go down in the middle?.. you know?.. I'm always having a look in the
oven to see.. you know has it gone down yet?.. Why does it do that? Do you?...... no I'm just
kidding. But You see the thing.. whats confident for one person may not be confident for
another at all. There's people who feel confident skiing. You know what this is? This is
jumping off mountains on slippery things. Do you? Now think about this for a moment.. like
there's people who actually get off on this and enjoy it. And they don't even call it confident
anymore. They just call it a day of fun. They go up mountains and through themselves off..
on things that are too slippery to stop. Whats going on there? So what I would recommend
you do is.. Find a time when you're doing something you just enjoying doing.. and you feel
confident. And I guarantee you, there'd be other people in the world who would be nervous
about doing that. Even if its collecting stamps. Really I guarantee you, there will be some
people who would be nervous about it.. what ever it is that you're enjoying doing. That is
confidence....and that is worth using. So, then step into a time when you had that enjoyable
feeling.. and feel what it feels like.. remember what you where seeing.. remember what you
were hearing.. remember what it felt like in your body.. and adjust your body so that you get
back that feeling even more.. adjust your body so its the way it would be. So all the
wording is here.. you can just read it out from here.

This is....this must be the 1st time you've done this....is that right? Oh well.. you don't need to
worry at all.. you can just relax about this one.. cause this is only your 1st time. Its easy. Ok
so um, You can just say .. like this is in number 3 here. There's one thing it says here, it says,
Experience the state of confidence as you talk to them. And here's what it means....it means
pretend. So like if you're talking to the person and you say.. [demo asking without sounding
confident].. So do you remember a time when you felt confident? That doesn't work as well.
Its more useful to say it and say it sounding confident yourself. [demo] Cause it just gives a

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clue to their unconscious mind. And there's another thing you do that gives a little
reassurance to their unconscious mind.. and its what you practiced already.. you sit in
rapport.. you sit in a similar position. You even notice their breathing and at 1st breath in
time then it'll happen by itself. You listen to their voice.. and talk to them in a similar voice.
So it says step into your body in that memory seeing through your eyes.. hearing through
your ears.. feeling fully that feeling that feeling of confidence.. adjust your body now so
you're sitting the way you sit when you feel that confidence. 1st of all I get them to do it
sitting down.. #4.. and I say, When you feel that confidence.. make that gesture. So this
time I'm telling them .. Don't just go with what I'm saying.. When You Know that you can
remember what that feels like.. make the gesture. And so they will actually be in charge of
this anchor themselves. And um if the feeling goes away and you start thinking about
something else.. then let go of course. Just make that gesture when the feeling is really good.
And then in #4 it says there, So now stand up and do it standing up. Cause I want them to be
able to get the feeling in both places. And you're right the initial experience may be when
their standing up or sitting down or even lying down if they were feeling confident fixing a
car or something. So ah we'll use the anchor in both places. So now stand up and remember
again what it felt like at that time.. and when you get the feeling back.. you start getting that
feeling.. yeah thats really cool.. I love that.. Make that gesture. So thats #4
So now, then we break state.. do you remember breaking state when we stood up and did the
funny stretching thing? So you don't have to do it that fancy....All you do is say.. ok have a
stretch or ok look out the window. Something that just takes their mind away from it. And
then say... Now make that gesture again. And when you ask the person to make the gesture
again, you're testing the anchor. Do you remember when I got you to sit down and I said..
find out what happens when you make that gesture. So when you test the anchor by the
way ....theyre going to make that gesture.. and you'll see it.. its like poof.. you'll see as their
body changes as they go back into the state.. before they do. So they might even go like this
[demo puzzlement] Thats why we.... do you remember the exercise we did yesterday when
you watched someone when they were thinking of something they do like and something they
don't like. You'll see the difference.. between when their thinking of a time thats positive
and the time where they're talking about.. ah I wish that would change. So, I'll show you
this.. I'll demonstrate. So then once you've tested it.. you say.. Now using that anchor.. think
of that situation that you want to change.. and notice how it feels to think about it....now.

Keys to Success CD 2D

So what I want is then someone who um has some situation which is not a run screaming out
of the room, but it is a situation where they would like to feel more confident. And that means
you get to do two, by the way, and it will be helpful if you, can tell us what it is and one of
the reasons is to make sure its not a dramatic phobia and its not ideally a physical condition.
Excuse me Ive, I used to give demonstrations without finding what the thing was, and, well
it works but it scared me a little, like I had one demonstration where the person who. they
didnt tell me and they phoned me up a week later and said that what they what they were
thinking of, the situation was being depressed and they had been clinically depressed for
years and they felt great all week after doing this. but I would not usually use this
technique for that, I would use other things. And I, then I had someone who was having a
migraine, and so I get up, the person comes up to do the demonstration and I say okay so
you know think of the situation you would like to change and then I checked again, so what
is it. Oh Im just starting to have a migraine in the next few days its gonna be wrecked you
know and like Ive been in like such pain, and so we did the process but it was a bit

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uncomfortable because up you know like I know its not really meant for that and actually it
worked and they said oh wow you know the whole room has suddenly gone clearer and
brighter again and everything feels fine and the migraine went away. I dont think it cured
their migraines. I think it just fixed that one. Mostly this is for simple little things, like talking
to a certain person and it is quite fun actually if you can check in afterwards you know like
sometime weve had people who are nervous about talking to answer phones for instance. So
if someone has a cell phone and they know they get an answer phone when it rings us and
they phone my office and talk to the answer phone or something like that, they can find out
what it feels like now or sometimesa couple of times Ive had someone who got nervous
when they talked to their ex husband or wife, partner and they have to arrange things with the
kids and felt nervous about this each time and so then they had to do it that night and they
would do this process and come back the next day and tell us how different that is. Its quite
interesting.

Okay, so um does someone have something they would like to change the way they feel
about it. Do you have is it okay to say what it is before, just so we know its not a migraine,
can you say what it is?...[explanation from student]and then regret it after wards? Now can
I check, if you felt more confident in that situation, so Im just quickly checking that, thats
fine, Im just checking through the SPECIFY model will it will it be okay? Is it, is it
ecological? You understand what I mean now, Im checking is it okay to feel confident in that
situation, you know the limits of what you would do and wouldnt do and yeah, you got what
Im checking? Its a SPECIFY kind of thing. Cool, yeah so you just want the change of
feeling, [Person explains with Richard saying yeah a few times]Fantastic. Come on up
and tell us your name again,.. Mark.. yeah.

So Mark, you ah, you, when you think about that situation now you know what that hesitation
thing kind of feels like, right? So youd know if that felt different, like if, imagine if, could
you, you could probably get that feeling right now, when you think of that. You know, the
hesitation kind of feeling. So youd know if it was different in ten minutes, right? [Marks
says yeah, yeah] Got how that works?Now, so, um whats the um, if you were going to
use a gesture as an anchor for feeling confident, just they way you would like to feel, what
would be a gesture that you could use thats different to the one you used for, um, for
relaxation. Oh yeah just like pressing your thumb against one of them, that one? Yeah, cool,
okay, so if you open that up now.

Okay so now what we want is um a time when you had a feeling of confidence, like heres
how to check, its a time when if you could feel like that in this other situation , that would be
fantastic. Now, the easiest way to find that kind of feeling is just doing something that you
totally feel easy about and you love doing. What would be something that is like that? That
you really enjoy and you just easily do the things. [reply]..scuba diving? Far out! Thats cool,
so you know what thats like right? and you, thats a good feeling, thats kind of like a .. yeah.
An amazing kind of feeling sometimes.So you remember what its like when you are
actually diving in the coral and amazingly different colours and incredible fish that you see
around and .And as you see those things and also theres like that watery sound around you
know and theres just the feeling of what its like to be moving through the water there and
inside that experience. And make that gesture as you feel that feeling and adjust your body so
that its kind of, just check that, I know that you would be swimming at that time but just
check what it would feel like in your body, to have that feeling. Its a pretty awesome kind of
experience yeah yeah just smooth and relaxed yeah. Yeah alright. And then let

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go of that gesture. And Ill get you to stand up, cause , who knows, you might be on a cell
phone standing up or you might be sitting down when you want to use this eventually as well,
So, so now once again remember what its like when youre having the experience of scuba
diving. And how, thats right, how good it feels seeing those things and just the flow of it and
theres kind of quietness there and just a whole world that you are in there. And when you get
back that feeling of how good that is and how easily it flows make the gesture, yeah and feel
what that feels like. Got that? Cool! Have a seat again. Did you know this place was here?
Have you seen this place before? No? No, its kind of hidden, even if you kind of lived in
Wellington, its kind of hidden away, back yeah, yeah. You know what this bit is? Its break-
state, yeah.

Okay, so now what Id like you to do is, Id like you to make that gesture with that hand. And
thats right, and you see? [to group] His face like starts to flush a little bit and he says, hey,
yeah thats pretty smooth, yeah. Thats nice. Do you notice that? Thats nice, eh? So as you
feel that, make that gesture, as you feel that, think about the stock market situation again, and
notice how it feels now. Think about that.

So what is that like now?[answers] right, right, so that may be about, may be about the thing
that weve used for the anchor. So, so when you say not as scared, how would you describe
it? How is it now when you think about it? [answers that it is better but not solved] Right,
right, so, so lets check So lets choose something else too, do you, do you see why? Its like,
hes got this state from the scuba diving probably coming in there a bit. But lets choose
something, like lets think of something else in your life where you have that um even more
than confidence almost like kind of go for it, you know like yeah this is cool. Choose
something Choose something like we dont have to know what it is but you know something
that you think that, could be chocolate for all I care, you know, just something when you
think of it you think yeah lets thats cool, you got that. And as you remember that, what
you see at that time, what you hear at that time, what that feels like, make that gesture. So its
connect with that as well. Yeah, . Sorry, this is kind of fun you know. Ha ha haYeah
thats nice, right? Yeah, okay so let go of the gesture, have a look outside, its sunny. Hmm,
okay, make that gesture again, and now go back and think of the stock market situation
notice what does it feel like nowPretty Good. So you watch and you can see that, that it
looks good, its kind of, yeah, different. So whens the next time. whens the next time
that you are going to be in a situation where you are likely to have that sort of opportunity?
Right,,, right So how far away is that? [Mark says its December].. yeah..yeah.. okay. So,
right, so think of that now imagine out there in December and youre at home and you see
one of these opportunities and notice what it feels like when you imagine yourself having one
of these opportunities, thats right. So watch what happens as he goes to think of it. You can
see he starts to he starts to smile a little bit, the things that I was looking at before just start to
happen again. Thats even more important than, you know, consciously the way you think
about it. But thats a nice feeling, right? Excellent! Thanks very much. [applause]

[Question: about being animated is that you, or is that part of the process.]

[Answer] Its both. So its where it says, like, um, experience the state of confidence yourself
as you talk to them so its a bit of that, but its also true that like Ive seen this work quite a
few times, you know, so, like I know I know how its likely to work and you know, like I
know how its likely to work even when the person doesnt know. thats really interesting
and I can see and I especially, I must admit I especially, I start to smile when I see these little

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changes happening on the persons face.

[Question about how long anchors last] The first and important thing to say about how long
you know, will it last or something like that, is think about the song on the radio. So, you
know, you hear the song on the radio and it reminds you of the whole feeling starts to come
back. Now, would it still work as strong five years later? Its quite possible that it would. And
however it works five years later, would it still work as strong ten? Probably. 20? Probably.
So, like . its um , your brain has got to work that way, you know it cant afford, like if you
got in to a serious situation where you need needed to act one time, it needs for you to
remember it 40 years later. I went back yeah, so it says in number 6 if the anchor is working,
go on to step 7, otherwise repeat steps 3 to 6 and I just did . like it was working a little but I
did it with something that kind of had more energy with it.

Youre gonna be in a pair and one person is going to guide the other person through in the
same way that I did here through this process you can pretty much read it from your book
and you have the advantage that youve heard me describe it, youve seen it happening here
and the other person that you are working with knows about anchors. So those, by the way,
are things you would want to remember if you if you do it outside of here with someone else
. then you would want to explain a little about what you are doing and explain about the
idea that things can change really quickly as well. You know anchoring, when people get like
phobias, they dont have to do it several times, you know, I mean. The guy who saw the
mouse, he only had to see it once, he didnt have to come back and say could you do that
again cause I dont think I freaked out well enough. So, so thats just important to notice that
its a once its a one step kind of learning thing and it needed to be for our survival. So
thats what were hijacking. Okay, so anything else you need to know to have fun doing this?
thats right.. Okay find another human being and change something in their life.

[Anchoring Practice]

Q Does it help when youre anchoring going back into the memory to talk about what it
smelt like and the temperature and how many people were there.

A Yeah, yeah so if I really sort of build up that and get the person into the experience then
theres a lot more I could get them to do as well as I could do, getting them to talk about the
other sensory systems more fully and even what they were saying to themselves. Its really a
question about, I think, about how to get into the state more fully. And, and what I would
recommend is something called overlapping. So like if your, if visual is an easy thing for you
to do, then Id start with that. Let me give you an example and this will make sense to you
you know, you know what its like on a do you like beaches by the way? Theyre okay -
swimming and so on? so you know what its like on a beautiful sunny day at the beach. And
when you when you look out and the sky is just so blue and you know its on a hot day its
almost shimmering in the sky, you know how that happens? And as you see that, imagine you
can also see a seagull flying over there and you can hear its cry now as it flies overhead and
as you see that shimmering you feel the heat on your body and looking out across the waves
there as you can see these waves coming in now you can hear the sound of the waves as they
crash in and as they come closer and realise as you look down that you are standing on warm
sand and as you are standing on that sand you see the wave coming closer and closer and
closer and actually feel as the end of the wave runs across your toes. And so what Im doing
is overlapping from one thing to another and you start to get more in to the experience instead

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of it just being something like a postcard kind of thing, yeah.

If they have an active conscious mind, listening to me isnt so easy because they keep talking
to themselves about how, you know, how maybe this isnt going to happen well enough. But
if I ask them to talk, then they cant talk in two voices at once usually. So if you so youll
be discovering by now whether you find it easy just to get into an experience or whether you
have a very active conscious mind, and if you have an active conscious mind thats neither
good nor bad you know, its just they way its been working for you. And its nice to give it
things to do so sometimes its useful if the person is guiding you through something to
actually say the words that they are saying to yourself, to keep yourself on track with it. Do
so, so that it gives your conscious mind something to do that helps.

Now, there one more little piece that I want to show you, combining a couple of the things
weve done today, and its relating to this question about visual, auditory and kinesthetic, in
terms of which is more powerful. And to do this, Im going to get you to think about it, ah for
most of you anyway in a situation which is a personal situation. But Im also going to talk
about how this is important in your work situation. Cause some people are anchored more
easily visually, and some people are anchored more easily kinesthetically, and some more
easily auditorally. And I want to think about the feeling that you get when you know that
someone appreciates you. Now you can understand how important that is in the work
situation. From the research, by the way, the thing that really motivates people in the work
situation much more than money is the feeling of being appreciated, valued and the
relationships they have there. And that, by the way, includes in careers where traditionally
sometimes people would think that the main motivation is money, The research on this has
been done every year for many, many, years now. Theres been research about what motivates
people to stay in a job, which is incredibly important I mean as an employer I know that if
I have some I just had someone sadly move to the other end of the country so they cant work
in my office any more and so Im training someone else and I know that thats gonna mean a
huge input from me and its gonna be quite a while before Im getting back the same benefits
from having that person working there, of course. And so, getting people to stay with you and
feel enthusiastic about it is a really significant part of being an employer. So, in the research,
this is true, including in fields where you think the people are really money-oriented, like
sales, so in the research, specifically with sales people what keeps sales people in a job is the
people and not the money and its kind of an interesting thing to know. So, um, theres a lot of
misconceptions about this you know that money must be driving things and if we throw more
money at them then they will stay kind of thing and it doesnt seem to work in the research.

So, how does someone get the sense that theyre valued though? Well, thats an anchored
kind of experience. Now its the same often as the way that they get the feeling that someone
appreciates them in the home situation. How do you know that someone loves you? How do
you know that someone really cares about you? Now what Im going to ask you to do, is
think of a time in your life thats enjoyable to think of. You got that bit didnt you? The time
thats enjoyable to think of when you knew that someone else valued you or loved you. So if
loved you is a word that makes sense to you, thats cool. Like this is a cultural thing by the
way as well, so in Japan I say how do you know that someone loves you and love isnt a
word thats used very much in Japanese culture; its just becoming more used but people
would use other things like being valued. So how do you know when someone loves you, or
how do you know when someone values you. Im going to ask you to think of a time where
you had that feeling, which is an internal kinesthetic feeling, right. whoa this person they

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really do care about me.

So, once youve chosen (by the way this exercise youre not going to have to tell anyone
when it is, and it doesnt matter, for this exercise, whether you loved them. Do you get I
mean its just you knew, wow, they really do appreciate me. I mean its nice, obviously, if you
loved them.) As you think about this, Id like you to find a specific time in your memory
when you felt wow this person appreciates me this person loves me. Now this is like
anchoring so if its not easy for you to find a memory like that, pretend. That will work just as
well. Your unconscious mind knows what does it for you, knows how it happens. So pretend.
Remember a specific time when you would have got that feeling wow this person loves me.
Now it might have come into your mind right away of course, and as you remember that Im
going to ask you a question about it. Its a long question , it has three parts to it. So I want
you to think back over what would have been the few minutes before you got that internal
kinesthetic feeling, wow this person loves me or values me. And what I want to know is, in
order for you to get the feeling of being loved or valued, is it absolutely necessary that you
see something, the look on their face, the gift that they gave you, the thing that they had just
done for you, and when you saw that you realised they do, they really care. Or, was it
absolutely necessary, for you to get that feeling of being loved, was it absolutely necessary
that they say something, in a certain voice, and when you heard that, you realised wow this is
it, they really do care, they really do value me or love me. Or, was it absolutely necessary for
you to get that internal feeling, was it absolutely necessary that they held you or touched you
in some way. And when you felt that you realised that wow they really do care, this is the
way someone would touch me or hold me if they care.

So, now Im going to ask it again in a slightly different way. Could you have gotten that
feeling if no one was saying anything, it was completely silent, and you werent touching
them just by looking. Could you have got that feeling if your eyes were closed, you
couldnt see them and they werent touching you. Just by listening. Could you have gotten
that feeling if your eyes were closed and it was completely silent and just by the way they
shook your hand, by the way they held you, the way they touched your shoulder. Got the
question?

So, this is the information that was missing for that couple, by the way. You know, the couple
I was role-playing before. How does this other person, how does this other person get the
feeling that someone loves them or values them. Now, Im going to get you to stand in a
moment in a triangle, as if I tipped this triangle onto the floor, so if youre standing here
[moves to one corner of imaginary triangle on the floor], then youd be saying oh its what I
saw, so its like when I saw the look on their face, when I saw the gift that they gave me,
when I saw what they had done, I realised wow thats, thats it. And then you got that kind of
intuitive feeling. Or was it over here [stands at another corner] is where its what they said
and when you heard that its like wow, thats the way they would say it if they, so that must
be it. And if you are standing over here [third corner], it is the way they touched you, held
you, shook your hand, put their arm around you, and when you felt that you thought wow,
this, this person does really care.

Now if you absolutely cant decide between the way they touched you, held you and what
you saw, the look on their face and so on, then of course youre here, right, half way between
these. If you absolutely cant decide between what you saw and the way that they said that,
then you are here, so you could be anywhere around the edge here, you could be half way

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between what they said and the way that they were holding you. You could be in the centre if
you thought well any of those things would have worked for me, or all of them together is
what does it for me. And I would encourage you to think carefully about this, cause this is
the information that was missing for that couple, its really interesting information. So Ill get
you to stand up and come and stand where you would be in this.

So you understand that this doesnt mean that these people are kinesthetic, it means that for
this specific kind of experience, this is what worked. And if I asked you another question you
might be in another place. If I said think of a time when you learned something really easily,
was it the diagram and when you saw it you understood it, was it the way it was described
verbally and when you heard that you know it was just all clear. Was it doing something
physically, when you actually moved around and did it you understood the whole process.
then you might be in a different place, or was it the smell you might be in a different place so
its important to know that people are not locked in one of these places. If I asked you that
question some people would stay in the same place and some would move. But this ah this is
probably the kind of range that we would expect from most questions in New Zealand here is
that we would have um more people in the visual kinesthetic area than the auditory area.
You notice that? This is quite interesting, also more than the olfactory-gustatory area. And
there are there are by the way some cultures that absolutely run on olfactory gustatory. So
there, for example in North Australia the aboriginal cultures in North Australia heavily
depended on olfactory gustatory information and they and they do better than a machine at
detecting for example poisons in food and things like that and they had to, to survive. They
were living in the desert and every smell and every taste counts. And so they have developed
a culture with a huge amount of words that refer to smell and taste and a huge amount of
metaphorical ways of thinking about life that. In New Zealand you would get this kind of
range though, I think with this question or with another question and this is really interesting
to know because the thing is: who in your life needs to know where you are? Who in your life
needs to know what anchors you most effectively into this kind of experience? You see
sometimes people say no, but if I tell them it spoils the magic of it doesnt it? Well I think it
gives them the opportunity to use this magic, thats all. And, so, do your kids even need to
know this? Does your husband, your wife, your partner need to know this? Ah see, its not
just in the personal situations, its in the work situation as well. Imagine Im a boss, Im
where I would be, by the way, in the visual thing. Imagine Im a boss and for me, visual is
what does it. You know, seeing the look on their face whatever. So I think I want my team to
know appreciate them, so heres what Im going to do. Each month Im going to print a big
poster and its going to be a big picture of one of them and its going to say Employee of the
Month and Ill put that up on the wall. Now theyll know I appreciate them alright. Well,
they will if theyre standing here, you know. But if theyre standing over here theyre going
to think this stinks you know like this is not what the hell you know and theyre standing
over here theyre gonna think this guys put a picture on the wall and thinks that makes up for
all the times that he never told me that I was doing a good job, like, you know, whats going
on here? They think you know hes never said a word to me in all the time Ive been here.
And if theyre standing over here they are going to think hes never made contact, hes never
bothered to come to the actual place where I am and shake my hand and you know just a pat
on the shoulder and thanks for all youre doing here and, you know, just never made the
contact.

So it becomes really important to think that if you are in a large enough team , ah, you want
to send a message in all the ways you can. If you are in a smaller team, you can find out this

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information. You can ask people like you can simply ask them, tell me about, you know,
whens a time when you knew you were appreciated, you know. cause I wanna know how to
do this. You are allowed to do that. So, the other part of the questions is not just about who
needs to know this about you then, its who do you need to know this about? So who do you
need to know where they would be standing? And the detail of the question is in your notes
there.

Now think about it in a personal situation, in a personal relationship. See for the first week or
so of a romantic relationship, often it is very important for people to send out this kind of
information, you know, like they want the other person to know you know I appreciate
you and Im going to put lots of energy into this relationship and I like you. So, of course
they check Do I look alright in this, you know, will she like this, does this go with this?
This kind of thing and they check Oh why did I say those words, oh thats so embarrassing
and were just getting to know each other and I said that, so theyre careful about that and
they think Oh she touched my hand Im never going to wash that hand again. Ah look. And
they check the smell of course, Do I smell OK?, you know, theyre really careful about
these things. Were not going into taste cause its a family programme you know. But they
really try and send the message every way they can. And then after a couple of weeks often
people think, well they got the message. It doesnt mean that they stop sending the message,
it means they probably mainly send it the way it makes sense to them. And it may not be, to
use the auditory metaphor, it may not be a channel that the other persons tuned in to. See,
like that other couple I was role playing before was a real couple and when I just pointed this
out to them, what, what weve done here both of them started crying and it was like they
just suddenly it occurred to them we could both be right you know, like we just we just
werent talking the same language, we just didnt know what was making it work and not
work for the other person. So its really just a matter of showing them hey firstly youve
shown them hey this is how it is, this is what happens and its like a different language. And
you know its the same kind of thing that happens cross culturally. Its like in that famous
situation where someone from Britain goes to America or someone from America goes to
Britain, something like that. They think they are in the same culture and it takes them a while
before they realise wow you know this just doesnt work here, its not the same culture, so
you know theres the saying that America and Britain are two countries separated by a
common language. You see they think they are talking the same language, just like this, but
they actually have whole different meanings to everything.

Yeah, so what Id like you to do as we finish off, as youve learned a lot of stuff over this
weekend, and if like you took just one thing out of this weekend, and this last piece was it, it
was worth your money, I really believe that, working with people, you know. What I want
you to think about right now is what from this weekend do you want to make sure you remind
yourself of. You may have heard of all these things before, but as you go through them again
it reminds you yeah thats important stuff, you know or it maybe new, there may be several
things that are new. Im gonna get you in a moment just to, ah find someone just very briefly
tell someone whats one thing you want to make sure you want to remind yourself of, ah use
more fully in your life or ah find out more about. What do you want to do from here with
what you got this weekend. Of course if you are going to be here for the next week you are
going to plunge into this in depth.

So my hope is also especially for those of you who are here just for this weekend or just for
the two weekends, that you have more of the flavour of the feeling of NLP, the kind of stuff

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that its not easy to get from inside a book, and that you have a sense of NLP as this attitude
of being curious about, fascinated about people and also a sense of this idea that the map is
not the territory, a sense of the fact that there is no one right way of thinking about all of this
stuff. And so sometimes its really important to notice that ah some things are too important
to treat seriously. Do you know? So, I mean they really are. When we when we study in other
cultures, Julia and I train with various cultures and weve done some training in ah with
groups like the Hopi Indian people in America you know and North American Indian groups
and in Peru weve studied as well and before they have large meetings, they ah they dont just
get in rapport, they actually um they make sure that they are laughing and they have
specialised people called clowns who ah go around and they joke with them and they make
fun of the most important things in order to ensure that they are laughing before they start
talking about serious things. Some things are too important to treat seriously.

And so, there was Milton reading this letter from George, right. And he read the second
sentence of word salad in the middle of it and he got to the end of the letter and the letters
final sentence said hey doctor, theres always room for a little craziness in life, isnt there?
And there is you know I mean its thats a real sign of health is to understand that you dont
have to do things perfectly, and so Milton said theres a deeper meaning to this story about
the horse. Its not just that this is the way you do teaching, for example, that you dont need to
know where your students are going exactly, you just need to know how to keep them on the
road. And thats true I mean I dont need to know exactly what you wanted out of this
weekend, I just need to know how to keep you on the road. Ah but theres more to it, he said
you know thats the way to respond to your unconscious mind, you see your unconscious
mind is controlling your breathing rate. Its its managing so many things in your body, so
many complex things and you dont need to know how its doing all that, you dont need to
run all that. Thats this marvellous, extraordinary mechanism that is already prepared for you
and runs by itself. And your unconscious mind processes your memories in that kind of way
as well. It does so many different things. You dont need to know exactly how it does that;
you just need to know how to keep it on the road. Milton Erickson used to say your clients,
when you work with people, are often your clients because they are out of rapport with their
unconscious mind. They are out of rapport with their unconscious mind. Thats what creates
the challenges that they have and he would say so what you do with them that solves that is
show them how to be in rapport with their unconscious mind, and said the word that I use for
that is trance. Trance, relaxation. He said, when someone relaxes, they get back in rapport
with their unconscious mind. And that is why it heals, thats why it is so important, to be in
rapport with yourself.

So once again I want to thank you for being here, this is my hobby and its really great to
have you playing with me and um learning about these things together. Every time you
those of you that teach know that every time you teach something, you kind of learn more
about it, so thats very cool. And if we were doing a kind of verbal collage, you know if we
were collecting together some words for ah how, you know what a collage is? Where you
have lots of pictures joined together, if we were collecting together words for how this
weekend was for you, whats a word or a phrase for how this weekend was? Lets just collect
some. How was your weekend?... interesting, fascinating, inspiring, exhilaratingwow,
Cool.

So, you know that in that blue folder there is also a feedback form and if you can write some
things on that, thats much appreciated. It helps us to keep improving on what were doing,

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you also know that at the back of the room there are the certificates and for most of you this
is a trial run, so you can check the certificate and check that the way Ive written the name
there looks like what you would want on your certificates because you are going to get other
ones later on.

And if you were here just for this weekend, it was lovely to have you here and you did get the
core of all of the stuff, and people, if you talk to people in a couple of weeks you will find out
that this was the essence of it.

So thanks again for playing. Go well.

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