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'Counseling wi~h
Returned Servicemen
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BY
CARL .R. ROGERS, Pu. D.
ProfeBBO'T of-P81fchology, University of Chicago; formerly
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Directdr of Coumeling Services, United Service

Organizations, Inc.
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AND
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.JOHN L. WALLEN, M.A .

.Black Mountain Coege

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I I~ Fif'll Edition
'! THIRD IMPRESSION
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McGraw-Hill Book Company, Inc.

'l ,. NEW YORK AND LONDON
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I. 1946
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I COUNSELING WITB'. . RETURNED SERVICEMEN

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COPYRIGHT, 1946, BY THE

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McGRAW-HILL BooK COMPANY, lNc. move into the postwar years, the
WE

! PRINTED IN ~.HE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

Ii All rights reserved. This book, or
~ parts thereof, may not be reproduced
in any form without permission of
the publishers.
counseling of servicemen, servicewomen, and war workers
assumes an importance it has never had before. It is .the
aim of these chapt~rs to assist in the training of the many
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';! individuals who are undertaking these counseling respon-
sibilities in government and private agencies, in military
and civilian organizations, in religious and secular groups.
The principles that are set forth have relevance to a wide
variety of situations.
The authors write from many years of practical experi-
ence in coi,mseling servicemen, students, children and
parents, and other adults: It is their hope that in these
pages they have been able to select and express those things
which are basic to good counseling in a democratic world.
CARL R. ROGERS.
JOHN L. WALLEN.
CHICAGO,
Decemher, 1945.

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.i CONTENTS
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PREFACE. ............ v
CHAPTER .

I. Counseling: Warti_rri,e and Postwar 1

~. U ~derstanding the Individual . . . 8

3. The Attitude of the Nondirective Counselor . 16

. - ~ 4. The Counselor's Methods . . . . . . . . ~5

5. The Devel.opment and Growth of the Client. 46

6. The Counseling Process in Action . . . . 61

7. Educational and Vocational,Counseling with the

Serviceman . . . . . . . . . 90

8. 'Marital and Family Counseling 107

9. The Use of the' Casual Contact.

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117

10. Practice in Counseling . 125

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APPENDIX: Further Reading. 151
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I NDEX . . . . . . . . . .
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ChapteT One
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OOUNSELING: WARTIME AND POSTWAR

IS DISCHARGED. HE PUT HIS UNIFORM

,. away yesterday. Many thoughts are running through his
. !i mind. Swell to be home, great to be welcomed so enthusiasti-
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1 . cally by the neighbors. It was nice to go down to the plant

and see Mr. Grant, even though the place looked so changed.
But other Qeeper thoughts are more disturbing. What if
people knew how uncertain I ~eel? Do I want to go back
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i to the old job or not? Do I want any job? I feel so changed,
I'm not sure I could make the grade. And if I had a job,
could I hold it? Funny the way folks suppose that just
' because you lived through the Normandy beachhl:!ad you
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will be ;:i.ble to cope with anything. Never felt so uncer-
' tain in my life, nor so queer. Life has been so different for
three year!' that this old life looks frightening, difficult, and
uncertain. The future looks confusing and threatemng, and
I'm not.stl.re in what dir~ction to steer.
Joe is not alone in his feelings, but could be multiplied
by the thousands. He is unsure of his purpose and, yes~
fearful of the multitude of new adjustments he ri:mst face ..
That he has shown unquestioned courage under fire does
not alt~r the fact that facing civilian life is a frjghtening
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. I' Counseling with Returned Servicemen
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i experience and involves many decisions that he hardly
feels ready to make. How long will Joe stum~le about before
he finds new peacetime purposes to replace his wartime
goals, makes clear and satisfying decisions regarding a job,
,. and again recovers his self-confidence? The answer to this
I,. question will depend upon whether oi" not there is a friendly
counselor in the co:m,munity who can help Joe to find '
himself.
Or look for a moment at Technical Sergeant Miller,
formerly a gunner on a Fortress, but now a mechanic at
I the army air field, veter.an of 25 difficult missions over
r. Europe. Miller is a restless, jumpy sort of person who does
! not say much and does. not mingle much with the other
1 men, but when he does talk, usualiy over a bottle of beer,
I the concentrated bitterness that pours out is astonisp.ing.
t Bitterness t~ward his officers, toward civilians, toward the
government, toward our allies~nearly everyo_ne seems to
be under Miller's indictment. It is not simply grousing, but
a deep anger and ha.t red that has clearly been smouldering
within.
What wili be Miller's future? Will he continue to feel that
every man is his enemy and that complete cynicism is the
only attitude he cari take? Will he go on to be a problem in
his job and in his community? Again the answer to that
question will be influenced by the availability of counseling
help.
There are others-many others-with other difficulties
of adjustment. John Neal has only been out of the Navy
for six weeks, and already he and his wife are quarreling.
The neighbors are saying that you could not expect much
from a marriage that had lasted only two weeks before he
shipped out for two whole years in the' South Pacific. As a
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Counseling: Wartime and Postwar ""
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serviceman's wife, Mrs. Neal thought she had problems
enough while he was away, but now she is realizing that the
return home may be just as hard. But is this marriage
doomed to failure, or can John and Dorothy begin to build
a scmnd adjustment?
Or take the boy down the street who has returned home
from the general hospital, with that odd-looking scar on his
temple and two fingers blasted off in Italy. He faces many
problems. Shall he take advantage of the government offer
and retrain himself in college, O!' shall he take back his old
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job on the railroad? A-nd what is h~ going to do about the
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way people look at him? Will he have the courage to pick
up his social life again, or will he wi~hdraw?
. . The 'Neecl for Counseling Servi'Ces
These are not isolated problems, nor are they unimpor-
tant. They are rapidly. becoming a part of our everyday
situation, and it is the rare citizen who does not know a
serviceman who is facing real problems of adjustment,
problems that cause him concern. The type . of services
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offered to these men will help to determine whether these
problems grow and accumulate and fester in social sores,
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or whether adequate help is offered in assisting these men
to become self-directing competent citizens, capable of
managing their lives a:qd their affairs in a. manner satis-
factory to themselves and to the community.
It is because the nation is aware of this situation that one
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. hears everywhere a growing talk of counseling services for .
servicemen. The army is training counselors. The Veterans
Administration supplies counseling aid. Chaplains and
ministers and USO workers are seriously applying them-
selves to the learning of counseling skills. Selective Service
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 Counseling with Returned Servicemen
boards are expected to be of assistance. State agencies for
veterans are setting up counseling centers. A fresh interest
I: in counseling has grown up in schools and colleges because
teachers are increasingly being called upon to assist in the
matter of offering help to veterans, particularly in the
smaller communities. In short, national, state, and local
organizations, government agencies and private agencies',
professional workers in education, social work, psy-
chology, and other fields, are all interested in the field of
counseling.
How great will the need for counselors be? No one can
with assurance predict the answer; though one committee
charged with making an estimate came out with a figure
of 10,000 to 15,000 counselors as a minimum. The plain
fact is that these thousands of counselors do not exist and
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that full professional training of any such number could
not possibly be completed in time to be of help.
Because of this situation, there is an urgent need for
brief, intensive training of counselors who will be dealing
with the vocational, personal, and educational problems of
om millions of men and women in the service. To be real-
istic, this training will need to be planned to turn out
counselor$ with less than a full professiortal training; . but
adequately equipped to perform a sound though limited
counseling function.
This brings us to the purpose of this little volume. Based
on counseling experience with . both servicemen and civil-
ians, it endeavors to present a viewpoint and a method that
can be acquired by a person with reasonable qualifications
for a counseling position. It proposes to develop certain
concepts basic to effective counseling and to open the door-
way to further reading and study in this field.
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Counseling:' Wartime and Postwar
Two Viewpoints in Counseling
It may be said at the very beginning that the counseling
viewpoint presented in these chapters is. a new one. It is
likely that it will be sharply different from any counseling
which the reader may have done or with which he may be
familiar. For that reason it may be well to state in a few
words the difference between counseling as it is tradi-
tionally understood and counseling as presented here.
Traditionally, counseling has meant primarily the carry-
. ing out of three major functions_in endeavoring to help the
individual with some -problem of adjustment. The first . is
the gathering of information about the client, collecting
all pertinent data that might throw light on his situation.
The second is the formulation of a diagnosis or explanation
of the client's problems, based on the complete picture that
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has been assembled. The third step is the solution of the
difficulty~pointing out to the client the course he should
pursue, the steps' he should take, to me~t h1s pro.blem.
The viewpoint presented in this book is decidedly at
variance with this concept. Counseling is presented as a
way of helping the individual to help himself. The function
of the counselor is to make it possible for the client to gain
emotional release in relation to his problems and, as a con-
sequence, to .think more clearly and more deeply about
himself and his situation. It is the counselor's function to
provide an atmosphere in which the client, through this
explbration of his. situatioi:t, comes to see himself and his
reactions more clearly and 'to accept his attitudes more
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fully. On the basis of this insight he is able to meet his lire
problems more adequately, more independently, more re-
sponsibly than b~fore. He has experienced psychological
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growth in the counseling situation, as well as discovering
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Counseling with Returned Servicemen
Counseling: Wartime and Postwar
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for himself a way of adjusting to the realities and demands
While the presentation in t~s book is directed toward
of life. the proble!ll of dealing with the serviceman and service-
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woman, the principles and procedures are equally applicable
The Risks lnvolvecl
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Whatever one's offhand reaction to this very brief de- . family counseling, and others. Individuals are basically
scription of the two viewpoints, it should be evident that alike, whether they are civilian or military.
the traditional method of counseling should not be unqer-
taken unless the counselor has satisfactory professional
,, preparation in the field of psychology, psychiatry, or social
casework. Extensive knowledge is required to judge what
' ':.. t information is relevant and significant, and a thorough
background in the psychology of personality is necessary
I::''' to make a sound diagnosis of an individual and his adjust-
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' I ments. Wisdom and experience to a staggerig degree

are necessary to prescribe possible solutions to the varied
problems that arise. Hence, the newcomer to the counseling ''
field should avoid this traditional procedure, since neither
his knowledge nor skill are adequate to undertake it and '
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( he may cause very serious damage to .a maladjusted indi- i
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The client-centered counseling approach advocated in l: ' I

these ch~pters, however; is a much safer avenue to working

with human problems. As the reader will see, it .does not
,. demand omniscience on the part of the counselor, since
the stress is upon :the full u.se of the strength and capacity
for growth within the client ..It is the counselor's fuction
to provide an atmospht::;re o~ a -type that permits .th~
. :: client to work out hi& .own solutions, and while subtle
skills and .attitudes are called for, the risk of damage to
the client is very slight indeed in utilizing this second
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approach. Hence, it seems especially sound fo:r; the wartime
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Chapter Two
UNDERSTANDING THE INDIVIDUAL
. ;.'! ! ' I ' a E FIRST REQUISITE FOR THE SUCCESSFUL
. i'.:i. counselor is that he be able to understand the person who
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substitute for experience in developfog this skill. However,
the counselor's experience will gain meaning and us~fulness .
if lie begins with a knowledge of certain basic principles ..
underlying behavior.
Motivation
Everything a person does is in an effort to fulfill certain
needs o~ iotives he has. Each bit of his behavior is directed
toward son;ie goal. This is obvious with regard to our.physio-
logical needs. Because we are hungry, we eat; because we
are thirsty, we drink; because we are tired, we sleep. How-
'"' ever, the average person often overlooks the importance 0
,.1:. psychological needs. We need to receive and to give affec~
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ti on; we need to feel that we "belong" to some social group;
we need t<? feel that our achievements are worth while; we
ij need a feeling of self-esteem. Whereas the physiological
motives of a person .are few in number, there is an al~ost
unlimited number of psychological needs that may develop.
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Understanding the Individual
Psychological motives are . no less important or urgent
.than the physiological. Consider the ~an who endures cold
and hunger in order to wait for an opportune time to storm
a pillbox, risking his life in the process. He is going directly
contrary to his phy,sical needs for warmth, food, and self-
protection. Why? Because his need for his own self-respect,
his need for the approval of his platoon, his officers, and
his country, his need to revenge his buddies who have been
killed are much more important in his behavior than his
physiological needs. Especially in_adults social, emotional,
and personal satisfactions :inay be far more important than
physiological satisfactions .
Thus far you may be saying; "This is obvious. I under-
stand that everything a person does is aimed at gratifying
some need." But now another consideration enters to com-
plicate the picture, ~nd this is that any given motive does
not always lead to exactly the same behavior. Any motive
may give rise to different kinds of behavior at different times.
For example, the soldier who is motivated by feelings o. inferi-
. ority may at one time boast about his achievements and at
another time belittle them. Yet in each case the behavior
stems directly .froi:n the same feelings.
MOTIVE LEADS TO BEHAVIOR
feeling inferior bragging
feeling inferior belittling self
On the other hand, sometimes the same behavior may
occur as a result of different motives. For example, two
ex-soldiers may each wish to go to college. The first wants
to add to his social status and prestige; the second wishes to
prepare himself ~or a job. Two different motives give rise
to the same behavior.
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MOTIVE LEADS TO BEHAVIOR
desire for prestige going to college
desire for financial going to college
security
Thus, why a person acts as he does, what his motives are,
can be understo~d only b_y taking into account the kind of
person he is and what his life situation is. The counselor
must never lose sight .of the specific person who confronts
him. It is never. safe to go by some stereotyped pattern or
explanation. It may apply to many people, but may not
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apply to the client with whom he is speaking. The counselor
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must be ready to understand the motives that this client
has f~r this behavior, without tryfng to fit him into some
!ii preconceived pattern.
We May Be Unaware of Our Motives
If we always knew exactly why we. behave as we do,)ife
would be much simpler. Sometimes, of course, we do know
what our motives are. More often we think we know qr
motives without being aware of the real motives. That,:is,
quite frequently we are attempting to gratify motives of
which we are not even aware. For example, one ex-soldier
said that he wished to live in a certain town other than his
home town. In a later counseling session, however, he
suddenly became aware of his real reason for not wishing
to return to his home town. It was that in his al;>sence his
fiancee had married somebody else, and without being
aware of it he had felt that the situation at home would be
too unpleasant for him to face. The reason he gave for stay-
ing away was not the real reason behind his decision. In
another case an aviation cadet who was strongly motivated
to bec~me a flier found himself at a loss to explain why he
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tlrulerstanding the Individual
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'' could not make the grade. In the course of counseling, how-
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ever, he gradually came to see th~t his instructor showed
many of the characteri~tics that he had objected to i11 his
father. Just as he had earlier rebelled against his.father, he
no~ r~alized that he had been unable to cooperate with the
instructor. Thus his attitude toward his instructor was a
result of motives of which he was unaware. In another
instance a veteran who had been very bitter toward civilians
and resentful of his treatment following his return from
overseas gradually ca~e to recognize that his bitterness
arose in large measure out of his own feelings of inadequacy.
It was because he was annoyed and disgusted at himself
that he had been showing resentment and anger toward
others. ..
. An important functi1;m of counseling, as we shall see, is .
to permit the individual to become aware of Some of his
deeper motivating attit.udes of which he has previously not
been conscious. Usually the motives of which a person is
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einaware are tho~e which it would be difficult or painful to
1 . admit. In .our society. these attitudes are often concerned
! i' . with sexual matters, . with desires for aggressive action
i toward othe~s. or withthose ways in which the individual
ha:s protected his sense of esteem, the measures by _which
he has kept himself from '~losing face."
. Satisfactory Acljustment
. Good adj.ustment ma.y be said to eX:ist when the physio-
logical and psychologi~al needs 6 the individual are con-
tinually, being satisfied to a _reasonable . degree, and in a
reasonably direct fashion. When physical needs are not too
difficult to satisfy, when worthwhile work gives' a sense of
achievement, and friends and family meet the .needs for
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Counseling with Returned Servicemen
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a:ffectional give-and-take and social response, then the
individual is basically well adjusted.
Other characteristics of good adjustment are .a minimum
of conflict between motives and a maximum. of integrated
purposes, ability to face the facts of an unpleasant reality
without excessive disruption, the ability to withstand
frustration and to work for goals that cannot be imme-
diately achieved.
Maladjustment
Maladjustment may likewise be simply defined. The
person is maladjusted when the simple satisfaction of basic
. needs is blocked and more elaborate or devious behavior is
initiated in the attempt to satisfy the need. The behavior
produces partially satisfying results, or it would not be
retained. For example, a soldier is given an unexpected 36- . 1
hour pass. He phones his wife to come and join him, and i
she replies that she has other plans. The soldier gets drunk.
Put in psychological terms, his. need for affection and social ,
response is sharply blocked, and he turns to a substitute
satisfaction. Another example can be given. Military life is
full of situations that block the satisfaction of normal needs.
As a s1:1-bstitute satisfaction the serviceman pours out much 1
complaint and abuse. It is due to frustrations that "grip-
ing" is com~on in all regimented organizations:
It is a fact of great importance to the counselor to realize
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' that when the individual is aware of his motives, and aware
of the way in which they are being blocked, he can make a
much more constructive choice of substitute satisfactions:
Growth Towa rel Maturity
Not only is it necessary to understand good and poor
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adjustment, but the counselor should also be acquainted
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Understanding the Individual ,"!>.
with the psychological growth process of human beings. As
with any living creature, the development of a person almost
inevitably shows certain ' trends. The few easily gratified
motives of the infant expand into the many and complex
motives of the adult. The.complete dependence of the infant
upon other people and upon his environnient gives way to
the greater independence of the adult. The infant's exclusive
preoccupation with himself and his own needs gives way
to the adult's interest in . other people and their needs,
becoming social behavior. The self-love of the child becomes
the heterosexual love of the adult.-rrhe socially irresponsible
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behavior of the infant changes to the socially responsible
behavior of the adult. All these developments are expres-
sions of the growth impulse common to human beings as
membe1:s of - society. Under appropriate conditions the
person will grow and develop into an individual with a
more mature and sbcialized sense of values which enables
him to maintain the satisfactory balance between his own
demands and the demands of_society.
However, the course of growth is not a simple uncom-
r plicated process, for conflicting tendencies develop as a
result of it. Thus, as the person grows he becomes capable
of more independent and self-determined action. The in-
crease in independence, however, is accompanied by an
increasing sense of isolation, of aloneness. If the indi.;.idual
attempts to recapture the feeling of sectirity and belong-
ingness that he may have known as a child, p.e must sur-
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render some of his independence. And even this will not be
1 successful, since each stage of development requires that
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security be gained through new means. Thus, the person
~ . increasingly faces the conflict between his stri.;.ing for inde-
pendence and his need for security~ This conflict can be
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Counseling with Returned Servicemen '
It Understanding the Individual
easily observed in adolescents. At this stage. of develop- J.
become aware of many of his real motives and attitudes
ment the desire for conformity-for popularity and ap-
and to accept them as a part of himself. (TI:s is very dif-
proval, for belonging to a group-is extremely strong. At
ferent from telling him of his real motives, a step that is
the same time the trend toward independence-rebellio:n nearly always met with resistance and d.enial.)
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and emancipation from restrictions on the adolescent's _ ~. Counseling leads to a volm:itary selection of goals and
freedom-is also strong. One of the problems of living, then, a considered conscic:ms choice of avenues of satisfaction.
is to work out a satisfactory balance between dependence 8. The decisions and responsible choices that occur, and
and independence; between freedom from restraint and the selection of goals that more directly satisfy the real
security ~ This can occur only when the individual is free
~otives, are an experience in psychological growth toward
to develop his own standards, to build his own sense of maturity.
self. . . ;
This striving toward maturity in spite of difficulty, this
tendency toward growth that exists in each indiyidual, is
the motivation that underlies the client's ability to solve
his own problems during good counseling. This is the force,
the dynamics, upon which counseling depends. Counseling
then is a growth experience in which the counselor provides
a situation that enables the client's striving toward matu-
rityto proceed, free from the obstructions that have been
hampering it.
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Implications for Counseling

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It may be clear from the above that the person who is :' I
likely to profit from counseling help is the person who has
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an ii:iadequate or only partially satisfying adjustment. The
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servicemen described in Chapter I are unsatisfied in a
number of respects. It is this that motivates them to seek
and pront from counseling help.
Counseling of the sort we shall consider is of assistance
in improving the adjustment of the serviceman in the
following ways: ''
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1. The counseling relationship permits the individual to
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Chapter Three
THE ATTITUDE. 0 F THE
NONDIRECTTVE COUNSELOR
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~E PREVIOUS CHAPTER HAS ALREADY INDI-
cated that therapeutic counseling is a growth experience
for the client. Perhaps for the first tjme in his life the client
experiences a relationship with another person that is
truly permissive and acceptant. The counseling hour comes
to represent a period of stability and objectivity in his life,
a period in which the stresses and pressures that have pre-
vented him from developing a more mature adjustment
cease to be felt. Gradually at first, but to a greater degree
later, the client comes to accept his own responsibility for
himself as a person. Feelings, thoughts, prejudices, and
beliefs that have been kept hidden away from inspection
by any person-even himself-reach expression. The client
ceases to be afraid to examine himself, to explore his per-
sonality. And with increasing self-understanding and self-
acceptance comes improvement in adjl!,stment. Growing up
I at its easiest is a somewhat painful process. The pressures
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of society, which too. often fail to take irito account the dif-
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ferences between one person and another, make growth even
more difficult. It is the task of the counselor to provide a
situation in which growth can take place at a more rapid
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The Attitude of the N ondirective Counselor.
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pace and with less pain than in ev~ryday life. The situation
must not contain factors that restrict or inhibit the
' .. clie.nt's development toward a mature adjustment.
The counselor's basic resp~nsibility, then, is the estab-
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lishment of an atmosphere or climate that frees the client
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sible s~lf-initiated development. Eve1:ything the counselor
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says and does, every facial expression and gesture, . con-
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'tributes to the atmosphere the client feels. Whether the
client feels free to make maximum use of the counsel-
ing periods depends ~n the type of atmosphere that he
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discovers.
With the returned serviceman the. counseling climate will
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bemore important than ever. H,avin:g lived in .an atmosphere
of regi~entation, restriction, danger, and anXiety, he may
be unused to aCGepting decisions as his responsibility. The
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m~jor responsibiiit;y for his activities has been shoul~ered
\; by his superiors. The authoritarian atmosphere will- in-
evitably have held in check the positive development
tow;:i.rd the acceptance of complete responsibility for his
own decisions. From his time in the service the ex-service-
ma~ will have formed habits of expecting decisions to be
made for him. Despite possible dangers surrounding his
d!'Lily existence, the over-all structure of life will have
assumed a somewhat predictable pattern. He has not
needed to concern himself ~ver what cfothes to wear, where
and when he will eat, what occupation he will follow, where
he will live, who will be his companions, etc. These decisions
have been handed to him in terms of army necessities. Now, .
however, upon separation from the service he must resume
.. responsibility for his behavior. The future is not pre-
: 1
dete+~ined. Responsibilities will weigh more h eavily upon
. 17
' .
 ',..
:i 1
.... The Attitude of the N ondirective Counselor 14>.
Counseling with Returned Servicemen
directly from the attittides of th~ counselor. The techniques
him. He .must face problems that did not immediately
of nondirective counseling are relatively simple. For most
confront him in the service. He will again become aware of.
beginning counselors; however, some time is needed before
social expectations, moral codes, family standards, which
they fully appreciate the importance of their own attitudes
he laid aside upon entering the service. Perhaps he has a . '
toward the client and his problem. In other words, the use
child he .has never seen; and the problem of his respon-
sibilities as a father awaits him. Perhaps his wife has been
of c_ertain counseling techniques merely as techniques leads
to a lack of sincerity until the counselor.himself develops a
engaged in war work during his absence and wishes to con-
genuine appreciation: of the process of therapeutic coun-
tinue working; he may feel loss of self-respect, bitterness,
seling .. This emotional sincerity can be gained only through
envy at resuming his former job which pays less than his
. experience, but it will be well to attempt to describe the
wife has been earning. He may have to decide whether to
basic 01:ientation that ~i,e1? behind successful counseling.
take more schooling or go directly irito a job. There will be
problems of adju1?ting once again to the old surroundings, RESPECT FOR THE INTEGRITY OF THE PERS.O N
to family and friends after a life of activity, excitement~
The counselor's attitude of r~spect for the integrity of
and constant change. There will be ail infinite variety of
the client contributes much to the counseling climate; The
problems he must face without "orders from headquarters."
i~dividuality that the military services have been forced to
All these problems will become especially complicated for
stdp from the serviceman is restored. No longer is he just
the handicapped or disabled veteran, .who may bring with
another G ..I. Joe. Instead he again becomes Bill Hanks or
him distorted values and atti:tudes concerning his role in I
I.'
Harry Williams. In contrast to marching troops who are
society, his usefulness, his abilities.
"men without faces," the client begins to resume selfhood
With the ex-serviceman, then, the counseling atmosphere
'! as , a specific, unique individal. As he begins to feel the
becomes extremely important, not only because it will
respect of the counselor ~or his integrity, .a s he begins to
determine .the success of the counseling, but also because
think of himself more as a person and less as just another
it will shape the orientation which the veteran carri~s over
serviceman, it becomes easier for him to face his problems.
into his evei.yday life. The behavior of the nondirective
i The counselor's basic orientation of respect for the in-
counselor constantly expresses and reinforces his faith in ! 1

tegrity of the person manifests itself through more specific

the client's ability to cope with his own difficulties. T he
. attitudes. .
atmosphere thus established is such that the client comes to
J
1. Respect for the Personal Autonomy of the Client.-The
rec~gnize his own responsibility for himself and to carry
' counselor feels that each person_has the right to make his
this recognition 'into everyday life.
' I ~
i..1
~I
own decisions, He has the right to seek and make use of'
Regardless of what specific techniques the counselor may i .
assistance, but he also has the right to refuse help. He is
master, the success of counseling is largely determined by
i: responsible for his own life, and every precaution should be
!!i! . the a~~osphere he is able to establish. This, in turn, stems j.

........__________________________________________
19
l .
.!;... .li j:
,!:
~ Ii ~
."1' '":
.
I!/ii" ! ..

r
~ I! : .
;IL 1' .:
J ~.
')1i. ;( ~,-

Counseling with Returned Servicemen
taken to build up this sense of self-responsibility rather
than to tear it down.
~. Belief in the Person's Capacity for Adjustment.-The
counselor realizes that most individuals have an enormous
capacity for adaptation and for readjustment. It is the
strength within the client, not the strength within the
counselor, upon which therapeutic counseling relies.
3. Respectfor the Whole Person.-The counselor's atten-
tion is centered upon the whole man, the entire person, not
upon particular fragments. That is, rather than being solely
concerned with this man's problem of vocational place-
ment, or his adjustment to his wife, or his problem of
financial security, the client-centered counselor is oriented
toward both the positive and negative strivings-the feel-
ings, hopes, and worries__::.of the entire person. Nothing the
client says is disregarded. Instead of attempting to force
the client to reveal some sexual problem, or some problem
of adjustment with his parents, the nondirective counselor
assumes that the client alone can lead the way to an under-
standing of his difficulty. People cannot be nicely pigeon-
holed into discrete categories according to some type of
emotional.problem. The nondirective counselor is concerned
with the adjustment of the person and not with the solution
to some sp~cific type of problem that happens to be of
I!'
most interest to the counselor.
'1
4. Tolerance and Acceptance of the Client's Dijfmence.-
jd ..
,F ar from belie.v ing that all people will or should feel, think, .
:j.
:~ I .
and act as he does, the counselor expects to find the client
!j): :.. different from himself. He realizes that h~ cannot expect
to diagnose the client and prescribe a course of action for
l;;
him. The differences between them preclude this. Any
I:,
:1 .. advice or sugge~ticins that he might give would be based
:!; ~o
Ii
!'Ii:
i1 .;::
(i
1 ':
,i:
;I;,:
;
The Attitude of the N ondirective Counselor
-1 ,
upon his ' own values and -not upon those of the client. No
i person can solve another's pr9blems for him. Since he
'i -
expects differences, the counselor is tolerant of them and
Gan expect them unemotionally. Being interested solely in
! '
~ the welfaie of the client, the counselor discards moralistic
i'
and- judgmental attitudes. The counselor endeavors to be
totally acceptant of the client as a person different from
himself. As he endeavors to accept the client's attitudes as
a natural part of this other person, he avoids being shocked
at anything the client may say or do. He restrains himself
from shqwing surpris~ disappr~val, or even strong ap-
I.
proval. The counselor is not concerned with judging the
client in the light of his (the counselor's) moral standards
but with ht:lping him to understand and accept himself
realistically. _
I
I.
1 5. Desire to Help the Client Understand and Accept Him-
self.-The counselor realizes that people learn (in such a
~ \
way that it becomes a living part of them) only what they
c
\ want to learn. The attitudes described above all implement
this final _attitude. As the client becomes aware of the
:.1 !
~ . re&pect, dignity, seri9usness, and tolerance with which he is
treated, he is enabled to express deeper and more intimate
:~ r
.i; j '
attitudes and feelings. These, then, can . be accepted and
integrated into his own personality, thus providing the
basis for later mote successful adjustment. The counselor's
behavior is all aimed at helping the client himself gain thes,e
understandings-,:.never at arriving at a diagnosis of his own
which, although it may be corl'.ect, does not help the client.
It is the client's problem to understand himself and assimi-,
late this knowledge, not the problem of the counselor. Per-
haps this last attitude seems sqmewhat obvious, but it is
surprising liow easily some counselors
.
unlmo~incrly
' b
assume
~l
"'i ,.
~
:;,~,.
~t:. ~
 Counseling with Returned Servicemen
an entirely different attitude. In some l:!a~es it is the satis-
faction of certain motives of the counselor which is .upper-
most. It feeds his ego to play the role of an all-knowing
Jehovah, of a stern and moralistic father figure, of a tender
and solicitous mother substitute. The counselor must never
let his own personal needs and motives enter into the situ-
ation to obscure the goal of therapeutic counseling.
The outgrowth, then, of tp.e attitudes of the counselor
that have been sketched above is a truly permissive rela-
tionship. A climate is established in which every expression
of attitude and feeling is permitted, but none is demanded.
11.
'i
The client, after testing the counselor's intentions, comes
ir , to realize that he is free to talk of anything he wishes with-
..I
out criticism, disapproval, praise, or suggestions. The social
;1
I.
pressures of everyday life that force him to hide many of
(.
his innermost thoughts and motives are removed. He is
helped to feelfree to say anythfng, to discuss any attitude,
to bring to the surface his repressed antagonisms and
hostilities-even toward the counselor-and to reveal also
the very tentative positive impulses that he discovers
within himself, but he is not compelled to express any of
these thiI;1.gs. The decision as to whether to discuss a topic
must rest with the client. He is as free to withhold as he is
to e:xpress. The permissiveness of the counseling relation-
ship thus provides a predictable, stable situation in which
the client can come to accept the responsibility for facing
his problems fully. '
THE RELATION BETWEEN CLIENT-CENTERED
COUNSELING AND DEMOCRACY
It should be apparent that there is a close relation be::.
tween nondirective counseling and democracy as a way of
~~
.:,
The Attitude of the Nondirective Counselor ""
life. All the characteristics of this type of counseling are
also tenets of democracy. The client's participation is
voluntary, self-initiated. The counseling atmosphere is
built upon respect for the person, tolerance, and acceptance
' . of differences, faith in the person's ability to accept respon-
sibility for his own conduct, and freedom for growth toward
maturity. It is perhaps no accident that this emphasis in
counseling has reached_its fruition in America.
The in,:iportance of the democratic emphasis in counseling
is increa~ed by the present crisis. Many men and women
'
I
returning from the sercvices may be predisposed to welcome
an authoritarian leadership that takes the burden of respon-
sibility of self-government fron:i. their shoulders. How well
'
they .can a!=).just to civilian life and how successfully they
~
can learn to handle their own problems may have a crucial
I'
1part in determining their orientation to the struct~re of
society in a d~mocracy.
There is ample evidence that individuals and groups
I '
I
I'
' ' will accept, with evidence of satisfaction, either an authori-
tative leadership that is initiative-destroying, or a
democratic leadership that builds responsibility and inde-
pendence. (The reader who is not familiar with this evidence
would find it instructive to read a summary of the experi-
ments that investigated the behavior of boys' groups under
authoritarian leadership as co~pared with democratic
g~idance. * Counseling too may be authoritarian in its
,\'
1
.. (
implications-"processi;ng" the man, guiding him, placing
i ',
him, "solving his problems" for him-or' it may be basi-
cally democratic-freeing the individual so that he is able
*Watson, Goodwin (editor), Ciiilian Morale, Houghton Miffiin Com-
pany, Boston, 1942, Chap. 7, "The Morale of Youth Groups," by
Ronald Lippitt.
r :
Counseling wi,th Returned Servicemen

to cope independently and intelligently with the issues Chapter Four

; '
ahead of him. ''
One of the aims of this book is to challenge the counselor ; '
''
to think deeply about the social implications of his coun- THE COUNSELOR'S METHODS
seling procedure and to point out the effectiveness of a
democratically oriented client-centered approach as com-
!'''
pared with the more authoritarian orientation of tradi-
tional counseling.
L'
I '
W E R E : S THE .~ST CHAPTER E:MPHASIZED '
the importance of the attitudes of the counselor in estab-
1' lis.h ing the _most favorable counseling climate, this chapter
''
' will .discuss those techniques of the counselor which con-
. t :r;ibute to the development of a permissive atmosphere.
Defining the Couriseling Relationship
When the client comes for help, he has only the vaguest
of ideas as to how he will be treat~d. If he does have some
deflp.ite pteconception about what the counselo1; will do,
it is probable that he expects the counselor to give him some
simple formula tO apply. "Here's what you are to do-A,
i
1
I .
1' B, and C. This will solve yotrr problem." Unfortunately,
perhaps, solving personal problems is not so simple. The
client's participation is by far the most important element
1 in the process. I.t is precisely to help the client give his .
I.
~ : whole-hearted participation that the counselor may need to
..
I define the relationship. The client must understand the
".i method of procedure-the freedoms and limits in it-if he '
't "
:~ '!. is to decide whether he wishes to inake full use of it ..
. 1. Defining in Terms of Behavior.-The best way to help
the client to an understanding of the nature of the counsel-
25

ir.
 Counseling with Returned Servicemen
ing relationship is to let it grow directly from the behavior
that he and the counselor engage in. The client does not
always need to be told. in words that the responsibility for
solving his problem rests with him. He can gather it from
the counselor's conduct. The client finds that he is the one
who decides when the appointments will be. The counselor
informs him as to what hours are available, but the decision
as to when he shall come, and how often, is left . to the
client. The client finds that he may come on time for his
. I I
appomtments or may come late if he chooses, that he can
close a counseling contact early if he so desires, that he can
avoid talking about his problems for an hour by speaking
about neutral topics,.etc. In short, the cli~nt discovers that
he is the one who sets the pace of treatment, who decides
what topics to discuss, who decides what action to take
outside the counseling hour. Never should he get the feeling
that the counselor is shouldering the responsibility for his
problems. This feeling arises when the counselor presumes
to know what should be discussed by asking questions and
. probing for information, when the counselor gives, sugges-
tions and advice as to what is to be done, when the coun-
selor makes the decisions as to frequency a~d dates. of 1 :
appoint:ients, etc. In short, from every minute aspect of 11' ~
the counselor's conduct the client will build a conception
of the nature of the ielationship. The best way to define the
I
i' ..
relationship, then, is by behavior, which constitutes direct
proof of the democratic intentions of the counselor . .
i. 9l. Defining Verbally .-Some clients, however will at-
! . '
tempt so strongly to shift the responsibility for solving
their problem onto the counselor that it becomes necessary
to state in words the nature of the relationship. Clients of
this type will either sit back and wait for the counselor to
26
The Counselor's Methods
ask questions until he reaches a diagnosis, or else they will
.I.:
ask outright for advice and suggestions. In these -cases, it
,j
1 is often helpful during the first contact for the counselor
l to describe the method of procedure. In effect, he might say
/ 1;
I;
I / something like this, or might intersperse ideas of this sort
.. in the contact: "Perhaps I o ught to give you some idea of
how we go about thiilgs here. I can't solve your problems
for you; No person can solve another's problems for him.
After all, anything I would suggest would be based upon
what is good for me. You can be the best judge of what you
want to do. Now, whatlcan offer is this. We find that most
p~ople can handle their own problems if they get to under-
.,I '
stand themselves a little better. Sometimes we don't know
what it is th.a t we really want. Sometimes we want some-
~ thing but don't understand.why. Well, after exploring your-
self you may find that before long you understand yourself
i .
I. a whole lot better. And then it is much easier for you to
j decide what is the best thing to do-much better than any
\ .
i
\ i
other person ever could. Now the time you have with me
l \
here is yours io use as you please. You may talk about any-
thing that you feel is important. You'll find that in the long
run we really go faster when you point the way. After all,
.I
I .
by asking questions and probing around I would merely
! i
bring up a fot of unrelated material that would confuse you . .
This is your hour. Are there some things you wo~ld like to
talk. about?" At first, perhaps, the beginning counselor will
find himself depending quite a bit upon verbal definition
of the relationship. However, after he has had some expe-
rience and has gained a sense of security so that he is more at ,
ease in the counseling situation, he will find it less and less
necessary to depend upon verbal descriptions.
3. Limits.----':The permissiveness of the situation has been
27
 Counseling with. Returned Servicemen
stressed, but we should not overlook the fact that there are
certain limits which occur also ..-Just as in e:verydfty life it is
difficult to conceive of a situation that grants complete and
absolute freedom, so in the counseling situation there must
be limits against which the client can test himself. There
are two main limits that occur in working with adolescertt
or adult clients. First, the client should not be allowed to
prolong a contact beyond the accustomed time. If the
regular length of the contact is an hour, and the client
talks "all around the bush" for 55 minutes and then begins
to come to some important material, the counselor r.e minds
him when the hour is at a close. Although the counselor may
wish to continue for half an hour more, it is not helpful to
the client to allow him to do so. He gains the most help by
learning that the counseling period is a stable, predictable
situation, with definite limits-a clear-cut situation that he .
can use in his own way. Learning to accept and make use of
limits is an important part of the client's growth process.
The second limij:. is that the reiation between th.e client and
counselor remains purely professional. Although the client
might like to take the counselor to dinner, or might invite
"
him over to meet his wife and children, the counselor will
iir. 1
wisely refose by explaining that his relation to the client is
. I . a first contact, when the establishment of a congenial rela-
p.:
most useful and valuable as a counselor, a neutral person
who does not enter into .his home life or his social life. The
client will be able to see that it will be easier for him to talk
to a counselor who maintains this type of counseling.
relationship.
Helping the Client Get Started
i. At the Beginning of a Contact.-Beginning counselors
:;
often ask, "But how do we get started? What do I say after
~8 / ~9
ThrJ Counselor's Methods
the client comes in and is seated?" The counselor's opening
should be cordial a~d nondirective. The simpler it is the
better. Openings like the following are effective: "Do you
' ,
A
l want to,tell me what you had in mind in coming to see nie ?"
"Well, what's on your mind today?," "What would .you
like to discuss today?," "Well, what have you thought
about since out last meeting?," "This is your time; what
would you like to talk abopt?" Each of these leaves the
~ i
I
client free to discuss anything he desires. S?metimes the
.! client finds it difficult to get started and says so. Nothing
seems to come up to talk.about. After recognizing his feel-
ings, if he still cannot go on, the counselor might comment
to this effect, "Perhaps there is nothing you care to talk
. .. about now. If so, that is quite all right. You don't have to
'
talk ab~ut anything. We can sit and enjoy a smoke." A
wilpngness on tile counselor's part for the client to be silent
:_ ,
is, interestingly enough, one of the best aids in helping the
' .
~
I ~ ' .
client to, express himself. .
~. During the Contact.__:_Sometimes aftei: the contact is
well under way, the client may remain silent for a period of
tim~. How the counselbr handles this will largely be a quec;-
tion of how many previous contacts there have been. During
tionship is occurring, it may be desirable t0, prevent a pause
from becoming too awkward. At this stage of c~unseling,
overlong pauses may embarrass the client, who feels that
the counselo.r is waiting for hlm to go on. The counselor can
usually avoid such awkwardness by saying, after it becomes
, 1 clear that the client is not going on, "Would you care to
.l'
explore th;:i,t topic further?" This gives the client the oppor-
l :"
tunity to go more thoroughly into the same topic if he
i :' wishes, and yet it leaves the way open for him to refuse and
'1 :,.

Counseling with Returned Servicemen
\ . ~
go on to a new topic. Whatever the lead that is used, the
choice of topic should be left up -to the client. However, as
counseling continues the relationship between client and
counselor should be firmly enough established so that the
counselor can merely wait for the client spontaneously to
break the pause. Although this seems simple, it is actually
very important. Often the client is, so to speak, taking a
big breath before plunging into some topic that is of great
importance to him. The pause signifies that it is not easy
I
'
;: for him to bring what he is thinking out into the open. H
the counselor waits in relaxed fashion, and a voids breaking
into the pause, he will enable the client tq face this decision
. and handle it by himself. However, if the counseloJ." inter-
~.
rupts the pause, he may dire~t the client's thinking in
another direction and prevent him from coming to grips
with an important problem at that time.
,..;
This section may be summarized by saying that during
earlier contacts the coun~elor will probably use some sort
of nondirective lead when the client pauses for an awkward
period of time. During later contacts, however, the coun-
selor will make use of friendly waiting and silence as a
technique of allowing the ciient to determine the direction
of the disc:ussion.
Responding to the Client's Statements
The techniques we have discussed under defining the .
counseling relationship and helping the client get started
comprise only a small part of the counselor's behavior. By
far the major portion of his activity will be concerned with
responding to statements made by the client. How smoothly
and successfully the client progresses is in large measure the
result of the skill of the counselor in responding. Under-
30
'"i '
r .
The Counselor's Methods
'I r
\'i '
lying the counselor's responses are, several basic consider-
i;
ations. The response should be such that (1) it enables the
l' client to continue to express himself freely and fully, with-
'out fear or defensiveness; (2) the client is helped to see his
attitudes and himself ;more clearly, without interposing any
element of c6unselor evaluation; and (3) it helps the client
, I to accept his own strivings-positive or negative, s~cially
'~
I. approved or disapproved-:--as really his. There are t~o main
1.
types of counselor responses that fulfill these functions.
1. Simple Acceptance.-In expressing simple acceptance
( "
of'what the client has b~_en saying, the counselo~ merely
responds with "Yes," "I see," "I understand," "Mm-hm,';
~J '
1' or some other response of this sort. This seems absurdly
:} i
;'\ ..
simple, but it has been sho;wn that this response is most
".
'. used wh~n tli.e-~lient is :delving most deeply into himself and
paip.fully bringing forth significant material. As is apparent,
. \ .
the .function of simple acceptance is to indicate that the
j: '
' counselor is following what the client is saying, under-
stands his feelings~ and accepts theni: The client is enabled-
to express himself
.
freely when he sees that .material which
arouses
' .
feelings of guilt or shame in him or which makes him
feel foolish and silly is easily accepted by the counselor. By
itself, simple acceptance can effectively reduce the emo-
tional tension which the client may be feeling. It facilitates
the talking out of his worries, fears, and desires and thus
helps remove the emotional blinders that have prevented
the client from coming face to face with the problem.
2: Reflection of Feeling.-The most important of all c~un
selor techniques, however, is that of recognizing'and reflect-
ing the emotionalized attitudes of the client-serving as
a mirror by which the client may see himself. When the
serviceman, in discussing his difficulty in adjusting to 'his
31
 Counseling w~th Returned Servicemen
wife, tells how ungrateful and inconsiderate she is, the
counselor may reply, "You feel that she is pretty selfish."
Or to the serviceman who is expressing his regret over
engaging in extramarital sexual activity while in the
Army, the counselor may say, "You feel guilty and deeply
ashamed about this."
This tech:riique, which is simplicity itself in principle, is
extremely difficult for counselors tci a~quire. It runs counter
to their previous experience. They are required to withhold
H their own judgment, their own evaluation~ their own diag-
!i nosis, and (what they conceive to be) the solution to the
situation. The counselor's attention is completely con-
centrated upon the problem of "What feeling is he express-
ing?" At no time does the counselor become so involved in
I.' the factual details of the client's statement that he fails to
I.'
ask himself what it is that the client is expressing in the
I
way of feelings and attitudes. No matter how deeply nega-
tive, or how absurd, or how unfair to other people the
client's statements may seem to be, the counselor endeav.ors
to reflect the client's feelings as accurately and fairly as
'I
' possible.
"
' Perhaps an example of two different types of response
will help to clarify what is meant by reflecting feeling.
SERVICEMAN: "You see, I came from a home in which we
never expressed affection. We were all pretty unemo-
tional, I guess. Well, ever since we've been married,
my wife hasn't quite understood that. She thinks I
ought to be saying sweet things all the time, but some-
how I just don't know how."
l.1
COUNSELOR: "How long have you been married?"
SERVICEMAN: "Three years."
3~
The Counselor's ]fethods
J. (
It is fairly obvious that the counselor has not responded
!
' ' to the feeling that was being expressed. By his attention
'i "t
to the factual content of the statement, he has broken in
upon the direction of the serviceman's thought and pre-
vented him from going on to further consideration of his
difficulty. A . more fruitful response, which recognizes the
underlying feeling, would have been the f~llowing:
CouNSELOR: "You feel your wife doesn't realize that it's
very hard for you to express affection."
Here, the counselor has .caught the essence of the feeling
lying behind the serviceman's statement and reflected it to
him in such a way that he will be able t0 understand it,
accept it, and continue with further consideration of the
\ .
'~ I .'
situation.
I
~tis comparati~ely'easy to respond to the client's feelings
' !",-
about other people, situations, and events. However, the
beginning counselor frequently overlooks feelings that the
clienf may express about himself or about the counselor.
To gi~e some idea 0f the various kinds and trends of feeli~gs
that, the counselor must be constantly ready to recognize
and reflect, it would be well to outline them. First of all '
.
feelings may be positive, ,negative, or ambivalent. By
ambivalent is meant conflicting; the client feels opposite
ways .at the same time. Thus ambivalent attitudes may be
expr~ssed which will call for counselor responses of this
type: "You like your father a great deal, yet some things
he does disgust you." "You want to go. to college, yet
.you feel that you ought to be earning your own living."
"You want to go back to your home town, and yet you
don't want to." Secondly, feelings may be directed toward
thy client himself, toward the counselor, or toward other
33
 u
Counseling with Returned Servicemen
people, A~ example of a res~onse to ambivalent feelings
toward the counselor might be the following: "You
feel that we're not getting anywhere in these conferences,
and yet you have the feeling that somehow the problem is
becoming clearer." An example of a response to ambivalent
feelings toward the self: "You dislike your tendency_to
show off, and yet you like having other people pay atten-
tion to you." Ambivalent feelings toward the counselor or
toward the self are perhaps the kind most frequently over-
looked by inexperienced counselors. Research has indicated
that negative and ambivalent feelings toward the self usu-
ally occur most frequently in the early contacts, while
positive feelings about the self increase toward the end in
successful counseling.
One caution should be mentioned here. The counselor
should not go beyond the feeling which is being expressed.
Although he may think that he sees some hidden implica-
tion, he must not anticipate the client. It is the serviceman
who must make the progress, not the counselor. If an
attitude has not been openly expressed, the counselor
should not risk forcing the client to become defensive by
going beyond what has been said. Notice this example.
SERVICE~AN: "You see, my father died when I was only
. two, and so I was raised by my mother. I think that
has had a big effect on me."
CouNsELOR: "You feel that your mother spoiled you."
SERVICEMAN: "No, that's not what I mean." . \15
The counselor has gone far beyond what has been ex-
pressed. The feeling behind the statement is somewhat
vague, to be sure. However, if he could not recognize it, the
counselor would have done better merely to reply, "I see,"
,:1 :.
34
, \
\.
I'". The Counselor's Methods
'', ,\
. ,, and wait for amplification. Perhaps he might have said,
'I
"Would you care to explain what you mean? I'm not sure
that I understand." However, a simple hut accurate reflec-
tion of the feeling such as, "You feel that things would have
been different if your father had lived," would probably
/ have .been quite effective.
The counselor must be careful to wait for an appropriate
opening before he make_s a response. J.t is rarely wise to
interrupt the client and usually better to wait for a pause.
Some Specific Problems _ .
'
1. Reassurance ~-When a serviceman is revealing how
much he dislikes his present self, how difficult his situation
is,;"how hopel~ss the future looks, etc., it is very easy for ,
!.
I 'the counselor to make a polite response of reassurance. '~I'm
sure that things will get better." "Surely you're not as bad
as that; you're' just heing modest." "Cheer up, don't worry
about it." "I'm sure your wife will love you in spite of your
scar." However, for maximum growth such rea~surance is
\.
not only unnecessary, but may be actually harmful. In the
'
\>
first .place, the client may develop the feeling that the coun-
l
' selor does not really understand his situation. After having
I
' poured out his feelings, to 'be told that "things will work
out all right;, is to be told that the problem is unimportant,
: i,
c
~
does not exist. Such a re&ponse certainiy does not make it
'1::
1I
easy f<?r the client to go more deeply into his feelings.
Secondly, such reassurance does not really reassure. A pep
''
talk may have momentary effects, but in te:rms of gaining
.' ,'. '
lon~-run results . it produces little change. Self-confidence
develops from w:ithin, not from without. Merely because the
~ .
1 .' counselor can feel don:fident and optimistic does not inean
Ii' that the serviceman will feel likewise. The client develops
~
' 35 .
"
.,
,,

Counseling with Returned Se1-vicemen .
his own assurance from seeing that his most painful revela-
tions about his socially unacceptable feelings are acce:p ted
without shock by the counselor.
Closely related to reassurance is praise. When the coun-
selor prais~ the client for his behavior or his attitudes, he
is taking over the responsibility for the problem. By impos-
ing his own values upon the situation, as he does when he
expresses approval or praise, he prevents the spontaneous,
self-initiated growth of the client. Instead he may be forcing
change in the direction .of his own values, and before long
he may find that the client is playing up to his (the coun-
selor's) opinion rather than working out the problem.
2. Questions by the Client.-.It is difficult for inexperienced
counselors to see that a direct question or request for advice
by the client also may express feeling. Note how the coun-
selor recognizes and reflects the feeling in this exchange.
SERVICEMAN: "Well, that's the whole story, I guess. What
do you think I should do about it?"
CouNSELOR: "You feel I may have the answer."
Here the serviceman has come face to face with an atti-
tude tha~ he probably was unaware of. As he realizes this
and accepts it, he will be able to go on to take the respon-
sibility for the decisiop.. In most cases, the type of response
illustrated will suffice to clarify the serviceman's feelings~
However, some may press the question again. In this case;
the counselor may need to define the relationship again (see
above, pages 26-27). The ability to handle such direct ques-
. '
tions skillfully in the fashion that will prove of most help
to the client comes from experience. However, it will help
to realize that in many cases the client does not really wanf
an .answer to his question. He may be asking the question
36
'.
1
:),
.', ."- The Counselor's M etlwds
''
j'
~ '' to test the sincerity of the counselor's definition of the
/
situation. In effect he may be saying, "You said that I
could m.ake my own decisions without advice and sugges-
tions from you. Do you really mean it?" Or he may be
~ attempting to see whether the counselor is siding with him
in some controversy.
SERVICEMAN: "My mother said ~hat I ought to go back to
_college and fi:Qish up. I thinkthat I ought to get a job
and go to work. What do you think?"
CouNSELOR: "You feel ~_h;:i,t it is more important to get into
a job right away than to go back to college."
\ SERVICEMAN: "Yes. You see there are plenty of jobs avail
I
I
} able righ~ nowi But if I wait three or four years it may
'l
i'
be a lot more difficult. Besides I'd like to get married,
and I couldn't do ~hat if I went back to college."
Here the counselor has avoided taking sides with either
the mother or the serviceman, but has helped in clarifying
,,I
.J<
'), ~
some of the circumstances that bear upon the decision. An-
)
.J ...~ other purpose that may lie behind the question (if the coun-
l~ seling has been somewhat bungled) is to express hostility
: I
toward the counselor.
SERVICEMAN: "Mother says that college would be good for
me. What do you think I would get out of college?"
CouNSELO:rt: "Well, you co~ld probably get a better job
when you had a college degree. in the long run you
would probably be better off financially if you had
finished college."
SERVICEMAN : "I disagree. I might get out and not be able
to get any job at all. I look for a depression before very
many years."
37
 Counsel~g with Returned Servicemen
The counselor has fallen into a frap that the serviceman
has neatly prepared for him. Earlier in the contact the
serviceman has become aware of the tendency of this coun-
selor to interpose his own values. As the client has come
from a home where he was subjected to continual domina-
tion. and dictation, this tendency has not set so well with
him. Finally, he maneuvers the counselor into revealing a
bias with which he can openly disagree. It would have
I .
The Counselor's Metkod-s
-0
-~ ;
reflect all the attitudes he expresses, particularly those of
doubt or suspicion 0r antagonism in regard to coming. The
II
counselor will also 'need to make it plain :that although the
i.:
client was foiced to come, and hence his coming is not a
~ matter under his control, this is not true of his use of the
' counseling time. He is completely free to use it or not, and
1. to use it for any purpose that would have meaning to him,
not necessarily for the purpose for which he was sent. He
, 1

contributed much more to the solution of the problem for
the counselor to respond, "You wonder what value college
would hold for you." From these various examples it should
be clear that direct questions can best be handled with the
simple techniques that have already been described. As with
any other form of statement, they canbe responded to in
such a way that they contribute to the progress of the
therapeutic session.
3. The Man Who Conies Unwilliri,gly.-In most instances,
if counseling services are properly organized, tlie man comes
voluntarily for assistance. There may, however, be excep-
tions, as when a foreman sends a man to an industrial
counselor, or a college administrative official sends a
serviceman to a student counselor. This situation may be
handled by the same basic approach. as any other, but the
problem needs special consideration.
The counselor will do ;ell to remember that no one is
effectively counseled against his will. To see some coun-
selors in action, one would gather that they believe in
pouring counseling over the hapless head of the unwilling
counselee. This is futile. The only hope ofl being effective is
to make it possible for the man to bring out matters of con-
cern to himself, on which he wishes help.
Thus when a man is sent to the counselor, it is well to
38
was not responsible for coming; but responsibility for the
counseling situation is freely given him.
It is particularly important th~t the counselor should be
alert to items of concern that this unwilling clie~t mentions.
T?_o often the counselor is waiting for "the" problem to be
rri~ntioned-the dispute with the foreman or the failure in
course work for which the man was sent. These may not be
the framework in which the individual defines his problem.
He may express resentment at being sent in, or conc~rn
I.
<
" I
about some issue re~ote from "the" problem as conceived
\.
by the person sending him in. These immediate concerns
:j , ..... '
', no matter what they may be, are the material around which
'
counseling begins.
In order to bring this problem more sharply into focus, .
there is given belo,w the initial portion of an interview with
. ~serviceman who was A.W.O.L., and who was persuaded
by a friend, against his will, to see a Ci~lian counselor.
The f~iend made all the arrangements, and Dan came
only because he had been urged . .He came into the office
in a diffident manner.
1. DAN: "This is awflly good of you to see me, sir, and
I appreciate your giving me this appointment, because
I know you must be busy; but I'm afraid that it will
be a waste of time."
39
"

"

Counseling with Returned Servicemen
2. COUNSELOR: "You feel it just couldn't be of much
help."
3.. DAN: "Well, you see, sir, I've had lots of good advice.
Even before I left camp, I talked to the chaplain and
he tried to help me. He's a very nice man, and he gave
me lots of good advice, but I can't take it. I told him
I was going to go A.W.O.L., and he explained all the
reasons why I shouldn't and talked to me in a very
nice way, but I just had to leave. I'm sure you could
give me good advice, too, but I'm afraid that it will
just be the same thing."
4. COUNSELOR: "I don't think I know you well enough
to give you any advice. Besides, I find the thing that
is of most help to fellows is just to give them a chance
iii'.'
to think through their own problems. I'd be glad to
have you tell me something of your situation, if you .
wish to, and perhaps as you talk it over, you could see
some things you might do. But I won't give you
advice."
5. DAN: "Well, I would be willing to talk things over,
but I won't go baclc. I have made up my mind on
that:"
6. CowsELOR: "You feel sure of that part of it. Do you
want to tell me anything else of your situation."
7. DAN: "Well, it's a long story. I was drafted and I
didn't want to go, but I went. I was sent to 'X'
Field for my basic training. I didn't like that at all.
It was very dull, and there was nothing to do in town,
and I found that all the interests I had at college were
just slipping away." ,
8. COUNSELOR: "The whole business of getting into the
army was pretty distasteful to you."
40
':j .
.~ t. .
,; ;. '
1(' . The Counselor's Methods
d
~1._, '
Note the way th~ counselor accepts Dan's negative feel-
ing in 2. Iri 4 the counselor skillfully defines the relationship
as a nondirective one and leaves the use of it up to Dan. In
5 Dan puts his most negative attitude, the statement that
he will not go back. Undoubtedly he is unconsciously trying
! '-
out the permissiveness of the counselor. When, in 6, the
'll'
f. , ;.
counselor accepts even this, Dan immediately launches into
an exploration of his situation. Counseling is now under
way. (To satisfy reader curiosity, it might be added that
during three interviews Dan came to the conclusion that
r
,:, f.
"
he preferred to "go back and face the music," though he
,I .'.
.
knew it woul~ not be easy. He ' did.)
L This excerpt i_s an excellent illustratiori. of the application
{ ~ I
di sovnd coun~~ling principles to the unwilling client. It
shows basi,c ally that the couns~lor's genuine willingness for
'" the client to refuse counseling is the . very attitude which
makes it most likely that he will accept counseling.
4. Dealing with the Man with a Disabi"lity.-Counselors
of considerable experience often throw overboard their own
self-discipline whe,n they deal with hospitalized or disabled
s~rvicemen. Instead of' practicing the Self-restraints that
have been de13cribed in this and the prec~ding chapter, they
let themselves indulge in attitudes of pity. Such attitudes
may provide an outlet for the emotional needs of the coun-
selor, but they are most certainly of no help to the
man.
In .counseling with the disabled or handicapped man, if
he has any chance of being restoied to normal civilian life,
we shall do best to adopt those attitudes which build his,
independence. We should, in brief, follow the same pro-
cedures that are helpful in any problem of adjustment. The
viewpoint and approach d~scribed in this bodk is . as
41
Counseling with .Returned Servicemen
satisfactory for the disabled man as rf or the man who has
not been injured. It is as sound for the mildly neurotic man
as for the individual who has never shown any tendency to
break down.
The reason for this is easy to understand. Any individual
who has a problem has certain difficult adjustments to make
to reality and also the problem of finding some contentment
within himself. The man who is only five feet four in height,
or the man who has insufficient mentality to succeed in
college, has a problem precisely parallel to that of the man
who has lost an arm. The husband who wants to do some-
thing constructive about his marriage, although both . he
and his wife have 'many faults, is facing basically the same
kind of a problem as the man who is meeting life with an
artificial limb or an impaired heart. In other words the aim
of all counseling is to assist the individual to accept those
limitations, within and without, that cannot be changed
and to take positive and constructive action to create a
satisfying life out of those elements that he can control.
This concept applies to the dis~bled man as much as to the
healthy man. .
5. Note Taking.-Many beginning counselors ask, "Should
I take notes?" The answer, of course, depends upon the ' .\l ~.
' ' '
purpose and convenience of the counselor. If he is interested
in improving his counseling. skill, then complete no~es are ,
invaluable. The best form to use is some system that records
the counselor's responses as well as the client's statements.
Then it will be possible to analyze previous contacts with
a view to determining blunders that may be avoided in the
future. "But won't it disturb the serviceman if I write down
everything that takes place?" Not at all. If the counselor i.s
perfectly open and sincere about his desire to make a record
42
The Counselor's Methods
of the contacts for later study, then asking permiss~on to.
take notes and explaining that it Will be helpful is usually
l
I sufficient. As a matter of fact, note taking often has a desir-
'i '
I! able effect on the conferences. It indicates a respect for what
the serviceman is saying and thus brings an added seriousness
of purpose to the contacts. It makes the ser;Jcefuan feel ~hat
every effort is being made to understand him. Further, JU~t
'' as a matter of technique, the inexperienced counselor will
be less apt to blunder too quickly into a response or to inter-
rupt a statement of the client if_he is accustom~d to tran-
'I ' scribing th~ counseling session. Long pauses, mstead . of
becoming embarrassing, provide him with an opportumty
to fill in his notes and thus help him make use of silences as
an aid to promoting growth.
6. Length of Contacts.-This is a matter to be decided by
the conv~nienc~ of the counselor and the client. An hour is
usually quite satisfactory. It might be emphasized again,
_ however, that the most important feature of the length of
the contact is that the time limit should be clearly under-
stood by ,the client and adhered to by both parties'. That is,
if for some reason, half-hour contacts are more desirable,
very little difference will probably result if the client com:s
jl, ' to expect just a half hour-no more and no less. There is
'!
reason to belie~e that the client adjusts himself to work
within whatever limit may be decided upon. The important
point, then, is tha.t whatever the length of the contact it
should be consistent, dearly understood, and carefully
'
il followed. - .
7. Length of Interval between Contacts.-This is a mattel:
for the client to decide. Some highly motivated persons who
are under a great deal of stress may ]:equest several con-
tacts a week. More frequently, the counseling sessions are
43
 Counseling with Returned Servicemen The Counselor's Methods
about a. week apart. The counselor shduld not feel that he is for his own conduct, the counselor cannot create such diffi-
wasting time if he, does not see the client every day. As he culties as may arise when the counselor dictates what action
will soon discover, assimilation, organization, andinterpre- he believes is best for the client to take. As long as the
tation of the material brought out in the interview take method described here is used, and the coun;elor a voids
place during the interval between contacts. The client him- resorting to suggestions and advice in a futile effort to speed
self can best determine what interval will help him progiess up the process, he is on safe ground.
to the optimum.
, .,, .
8. Number of Contacts Needed.-This also will be decided , r
' 1,
by the client. When he no longer needs the counselor, he
. will say so. Naturally, the number of contacts will depend
upon the seriousness of the problem, the degree of stress on
the client, etc. The counselor should never attempt to pro-
long contacts. If he asks at the end of the session each time,
"Would you like to come in again?:~ the time will come
when the client responds, "No-I think I can handle it
from here on by myself,'' or perhaps says that he will come
just once more. That is, the client himself will terminate the
contacts.
9. What Possible Harm Can Nondirective Counseling Pro-
duce?-As long as the counselor adheres carefully to the
. techniques and attitudes outlined in this manual, there is
little likelihood that he can harm any client. Not every case
will be a success. Naturally, in the course of gaining experi-
ence some cases will be bungled. In. some instances, the
counselor may be so inaccurate or clumsy in his responses '
that he impedes progress until the client gives up the treat-
Il:lent. However, the counselor will not aggravate any exist-
ing proble~s or produce new one;: The techniques are . so
thoroughly rooted in the responsibility of the client for his
own progress that the counselor cannot do damage'. Since
the emphasis is upon the responsibility of the serviceman
44 45

Chapter .-. Five
TH'E DEVELOPMENT AND GROWTH
OF THE CLIENT
SINCE, AS HAS BEEN EMPHASIZED, THE CLIENT
grows toward maturity in the course of a counseling se-
quence, it is to be expected that the earlier contacts will
differ from the later sessions. This ch:wter will describe the
usual sequence of development on the part of the client.
However, although the client shows a typical patte1;n of
growth, this does not mean that the counselor's role changes . .
Except for certain minor aspects, the techniques used by
the counselor in the last interview are the same ones used
at the beginning of the contacts. Naturally, there is less
need to define the relationship (see Chapter IV) in later
contacts,. but the main responses of simple acceptance 'and
reflection of feeling serve to pro~ote the .growth of the
client just as they did in the earlier conferences. That is,
since the client leads the way through the treatment series,
there is no need for any change of behavior on the part of
the counselor. He merely continues to accept each new
revelation and to recognize and reflect the feeling behind
the statements of the client. It cannot be stressed too
strongly that it is the client, not the counselOr, who grows
and makes progress. . .
46
The Development and Growth of the Client
The characteristic progression on the part of the client
can be summarized in five stages: (1) The client comes for
help; (~) he expresses emotionalized attitudes freely; (3)
this leads to the development of insights; (4) these resu'.lt in
positive planning and actions; (5) the client terminates the
contacts. If counseling runs its complete course, these five
stages ca1 almost inevitably be seen to occur. .However, it
should not be thought that these are separate and distinct
stages with clearly defined boundaries. On the contrary,
they are merely general zones of reference--merging into
dne another-which . g~ide the counselor in following the
general onward progress of the client ..
.
\
/
The Client Comes for Help
Most counselors who are working with servicemen Will
probably find that their circumstances are such that it is
voluntary whether their assistance is sought. That is, the
initiative is left up to the serviceman hhnself. If such is not
1[. the case, the counselor will be wise to organize his function
T in such a way that his services as a counselor are a voluntary
ll''
or optional part of the program with which he is connected.
This is wise for a simple reason. Successful cou'nseling is not
very prob~ble if the serviceman is not under enough stress
to recognize that he has a problem with which he needs
help. The best test as to whether he is feeling sufficient
stress to b~nefit from counseling is simply that he has come
on,his own, volup.tarily, to utilize the services of the coun-
selor. If a serviceman knows that a trained counselor, is
available to help him work through his problems and yet .
does not take advantage of this opportunity, it is a reason-
ably good indication that he is not yet ready to use tlie
counseling experience. To force such a person to come in
47
"'
 Counseling with Returned Servicemen
for counseling by making it a prerequisite for other parts
of a guidance or rehabilitation program is to place an ob-
stacle in the way of the most favorable counseling relation-
ship. However, if a counselor does find himself forced to
work under such restrictions, he can do an adequate job if
he develops skill in handling the initial interview in such ~
way that the serviceman can become acquaintyd with a
permissive relatio~ship that leaves the decision up to him
as to whether or not he wishes to continue (see Chapter IV,
pages 38-41).
In most cases, however, the counselor will probably be
confronted with a serviceman whose request for help is self-
. initiated. This is the . first positive step toward his own
development. He has made the first progress in the direc-
tion toward a mature adjustment when he recognizes that
his situation is unsatisfactory as it is and consequently
takes action intended to improve it-even though it may
hurt his pride to admit that he needs help.
Expression of Feelings
After the preliminaries are over and the client begins to
understand the relation that is to exist between himself and
the counselor, he probably will begin by stating some
problem. Perhaps it will be a description of his lack of
confidence in himself, or his inability to sleep at night, of
his quarrels with his wife, of his uncertainty about what
kind of job to look for, etc. Any of an almost infinite number
1
of problems may serve to get him started. As he amplifies
this, the client is well launched into an exploration of his
feelings. Finding that the counselor shows understanding
and acceptance of his disclosures, the client goes more and
more deeply into his feelings about the various situations or
48
The Development and Growth of the Client
people concerned with his problem. Whether the feeling is
negative, positive; or ambivalent, the counselor shows the
same calm acceptance.
This stage of the counseling contacts might be thought
of as a period of release. The feelings and emotions that have
been bottled up inside the client are allowed to come spilling
into the open. In most cases the client expresses primarily
negative and ambivalent f~elings in the early conferences.
That is, he tells about things he dislikes, which irritate him,
which disgust him, which bothe_! him, which worry him; or
he discusses things abeut which he is not sure how he feels,
. that he at once likes and dislikes. As he gets rid of these
negati~e' .feelings, he experiences some relief from the ten-
sion and pressure that he felt before. Finding that these
attitudes can be accepted by the counselor, he becomes able
to accept them himself. No longer is it necessary for him to
hide these feelings or to deny that he has them. He now
faces them squarely and finds that they have lost much of
their :flavor of guilt, shame, or inferiority. In other words,
the client finds himself relieved of the confusing tensions
that prevented him from coming squarely to grips with the
real problem.
Perhaps it seems peculiar that the problem with which
the client comes in is not usually the true or really basic
difficulty. It may seem odd that the client does not know
what is the cause of' his troubles. And yet it is much the
same with a patient visiting a physician. The patient com-
plains of a stomach-aehe or of a pressure in the chest. It is
only after examination that the basic cause of the di:fficuity
is discovered. Adequate medical treatment aims to improve
the physical condition of the whole organism, not just to
remove the symptoms. Similarly, in the counseling relation-
49
 Counseling with Returned Servicemen
ship the serviceman will usually begin by discussing symp-
toms-the signs that indicate that something is wrong~
and not the true source of the difficulty itself. After 'the
stress is somewhat relieved by free expression of feelings,
the serviceman can go on more easily to explore the situ-
ation in which he finds himself. It should not be thought
that releasing feelings is a mere preparation for treating the
basic difficulty. When the counselor skillfully recognizes and
accepts the client's feelings, he is making it possible for the
serviceman to come to grips with the problem 'in the orily
way possible-in terms of feeling. This process might be
likened to removing colored glasses from the client's eyes:
At first his perception of his situation is distorted by the
emotional attitudes that keep him under tension and stress.
As a result, his behavior may often be inappropriate-may
get him into situations that further increase the stress h~
feels. Then gradually, as his feelings are talked out, they
. become less and less important to him. As this happens, he
is enabled to see himself and his environment in a truer
I ~.,
perspective.
:1.il1'
I; 1;
1
1;:1i: Development of Insight
j .'Lii:
J ' ~! .
The ability to understand oneself and one's relation to
11.:::,
I .. ,
the environment is referred to as insight. After the stage of
!i'' release oi free expression of feelings comes the gradual
l: . i'
' development of insight. The most important part of this
L' I '
growth is the increased recognition and acceptance of the
~ ! :. .
'. real self. That is, it often seems as if the client has been
.! '
wearing a mask, a false self, that he has come to adopt
through the pressures of society in the person of hi's fan;iily,
the army, hi~ friends, etc. In r~sponse to the demands of
society, the individual has submerged much of his own urge
50
.\: ..
,~ ~-~. ,
....
The Development and Growth of the Client
for self-expression. The circumstances in which he has lived
may have prevented him frbm reaching a satisfactory in-
tegration 'between his personal deinands and society's
demands (see Chapter II). Unaware of the forces that lie '
behind his behavior, the . individual has built up an in-
accurate picture of himself. Because he has had to repress
and to deny many of his feelings about himself as well as
about those surrounding him, the client has.often developed
a distorted conception, of the kind of person he really wants
,': t to be.
'I '
This was true in the-c ase of Private Westwood. At the
beginning of counseling he spent his time discussing the
kind of person he was.* He did not like dancing, jazz music,
popular redding, etc. Before the war he had gone a way to
college, bl.it after a year there he had dropped out. "The
fellows were always after me to go out on a party with them.
I couldn't get any time to do what I wanted unless I just
got rude and shut myself in my room." He went on to tell
what a waste of time it was to go to a dance; how the other
fellows were not interested in serious things as he was;
* In connection with the previous section; which discussed the initial
problem the client presents as a symptom of the real difficulty, it is
interesting to note that Private. Westwood had originally come. in for
counseling because he wanted some help in making a vocational choice.
,I'
After 15 minutes he realized that he had already made his vocational
'l' choice but was afraid that his inability to get along with people would
' handicap him in the work. Interestingly enough, he had decided to go
into social-service work-to work with improving the condition of the
underprivileged classes. Had the counselor been oriented toward symp-
toms, he might have suggested some tests to determine Private West-
']
wood's abilities and interests. On the basis of these he would have given '
" him information as to possible vocational choices. He might never have
discovered that the factor causing the trouble was not just that Private
Westwood was worried about what vocation to go into, but the more
basic problem of what kind of person he wanted to be.
51
.,
...
,
~~
 Counseling with Retu1ned Servicemen
"I just don't like people; I prefer to spend my time by my-
self doing things I enjoy." As he expressed these and similar
feelings-sometimes quite heatedly-they were all accepted
by the counselor. Never was he told, "You shouldn't feel
that way. You have to get along with other people." As he
continued into this discussion he came out of consideration
of his past experiences to very 'immediate irritations and
frictions with other fellows in his army company. These
were all accepted and reflected to him.
By the second conference he was asking, "Is it possible
to get to like other people?" Then he would retreat and
deny that he could ever be capable of establishing congenial,
friendly relations with others. "You have to put up with
too much. You don't have enough freedom." Yet he was
now beginning to question his own position. Maybe-just
maybe-it might be possible to get a more satisfactory
arrangement worked out.
The third and last conference saw him definitely realizing
that he was a different person than he originally thought.
(Between the second and third conferences he had been to
New York on a furlough. while there he met some of his
former college classmates. They had all had dates and had
gone dancing.) In this third interview he exp].'.essed the
feeling that underneath he did want to do some of the things
that other fellows his age did. He began to realize that he
had been avoiding social situations because he did not know
how to handle himself in them, that he had erected defenses
against his own desires in order to keep himself out of
l unpleasant circumstances. It was as if he had been forcing
t
I
himself to believe that he was an antisocial, self-sufficient
person who disliked others and did not need companionship,
in order to prevent himself from getting into situations of
5f2
l
l'
The Development and Growth of the Client
which he was afraid. Being fearful of doing the wrong thing,
of being humiliated, of being rejected .by qthers, he had
d_e veloped a protective conception of himself as not desiring
or needing companionship. When he had begun to question
as to whether he might not really want to be like other
fellows his age, the experience in New York enabled him
to realize more clearly that there was something he was
niissing in life. He then decided deliberately to set about
developing certain soc!al' skills-such as dancing-in order
to be able to fit in with other people. At last he was able to
face his true self-which-had been-hidden behind the mask
he had developed-and . facing it involved taking some
definite steps. Painful though they might. be, he was now
determined to carry them through.
This stage of developing awareness and acceptance of our
real self-of what we really want, of why we have been
.~
..
:
acti:ng as we have-is what we refer to as insight. No longer
is the client afraid, ashamed, disgusted to admit the kind
,,
of person he really is. The permissive, accepting atmosphere
i makes it possible for him to see his inner weaknesses and
strengths in a new and different perspective. When this
happens-when the client develops insight into his per-
sonality-there is a reorganization of old facts that occurs.
"I see now why I rese:nted my younger brother so much-
why we have never. been abie to get along together. It was
because I was envious of the attention my mother sho~ered
on him. It wasn't because of anything he did. And all this
'
11 time I thought it was because he was so unfair and mean."
The person begins to reorient his attitude toward many of
his past experiences. He realizes why he acted as he did-
long after the action took place. That is to say, as insight
develops the client comes to perceive old facts in a new
53
I
 t ;. '
'.'1' .
.~: :
Counseling with Returned Servicemen
relationship-or begins to perceive new and important
relati~ns, which were formerly overlooked, amon_ g past
experiences.
As the person becomes able to recognize and accept his
real self, then, he finds his past and present experiences
falling into a new pattern; he finds himself approaching his
life situation with a new perspective. Following directly
from this progress is another characteristic of true insight:
the possible choices in the situation become clarified. From
the vague, confused frame of mind in which he began coun-
seling, the client moves on to the state in which he is able
to see that there are definite choices before him. "Either I
go oil hidirig from myself and remain dissatisfied and rest-
. . 'r.rd\.
less, or I take myself in hand and. develop some social
skills." "I must either spend my life pleasing my parents'
;. /
demands _at my own expense, or else I must make a break I himself. Most people like to believe that they understand
with them and take the chance that they will become
reconciled to it." It is difficult to say what the choices may
be, but gradually the client comes to d:lscover that instead
of being in a situation about which he can do nothing he is
facing a choice about which he must make a decision. And
often he . finds that behind all the symptoms and minor
problemsis the basic factor-that for one reason or another
he has not 'wanted to take the responsibility for making the
,.;..
decision. So the alternatives between which he inust choose
have been disguised, covered up; and hidden.
$ome of the elements of insight, then, are (1) recognition
~ ~: '
and emotional acceptance of the real attitudes and desires
)
,1
of the self, (2) a clearer understanding of the causes behind
,:\ f
.f i
one's behavior, (3) a fresh perception of the life situation_: ,1 1 ,
old facts are interpreted in a new frame of reference--and
(4) clarification of the decisions that m~t be made and the
possible courses of action.
M ~
The Development and Growth of the Clien.t
Unfortunately, insight is not something that the coun-
selor can give the client. The client must fashion it for him-
self. ; Self-understanding and self-acceptance cannot be
transmitted in the form of words; they must be developed
from the interplay of feelings between the client and the
counselor. Although it' is common knowledge that each man
is most partial to his own ideas, believes most thoroughly
in his own opinions, and only with reluc:tance will change
his views in response to the insistence of somebody else, yet
most beginning counselors persist in believing that all they
have to do is to expl1;1,in.the client to himself and the infor-
mation will be completely assimilated and carried over into
'behavior. And yet such ~ttempts by the .counselor usually
have the opposite effect. Nobody enjoys the suspicion that
somebody _else understands him better than he understands
themselves better than anybody else possibly can. This
feeling of the client must be respected. He must be allowed
to develop his insight at his own pace so that he never feels
threatened by the process. Only insofar as the client's new
perception of himself sinks in emotionally~ becomes part of
him, is assimilated in terms of feelings and attitudes, will it
carry over into his 'o vert behavior. The client may never
verbalize the full and detailed relationships that the coun-
selor perceives, but this is not necessary. It is not what the.
client can put into words that is important-the feelings
and attitudes he expresses and the behavior he shows are
the crucial test of insight.
,
Positive Steps
Concomitantly' with, or following from, the development
of insight, positive steps toward the solution of the problem
situation begin to occur. As the possible courses of action
55 '
11. Counseling with Returned Servicemen
I~
i
1!'
i~ become clarified, the client begins tentatively to consider-
what steps he must take. Later he reports on successful
i
: actions. Here again, the self-discipline of the counselor is
'
i called into 'p lay. The temptation is very great to encourage
certain decisions and to discourage other choices. However,
the counselor must continue to accept and reflect fealings
behind the client's statement of choices. Even though the
client's decision may appear to be incorrect to the counselor,
it is the client who has the right to decide. Perhaps after
further consideration of it the client discards the choice.
Or perhaps he carries it into action. In either case it results
from his own coming to grips with the problem situation in
his own terms. As he develops case experience, the counselor
will probably be surprised by the number of decisions which
at first appear incorrect or inadequate to him but which are
carried out very successfully and satisfactorily by the client.
This suggests that the intention with which a choice is
followed out may be more important than the choice itself.
That is, having made his own decision, the client has confi~
dence and faith in it, which in turn will affect his execution
of it. He has much more of this confidence in his own choice
than he would have in a ready-made course of action forced
upon him by the counselor.
The first positive steps are not usually strikingly dra-
matic,' but they are extremely important for what they
symbolize. Thus, for Private Westwood to decide that he
would learn to dance represented the beginning of a new
self. Henceforth he would be the person that his new under-
standing of himself had disclosed. One of the ways to be this
new self was to develop new social skills. And so the impor-
tance af one small decision reached far beyond its immediate
appearance. When Harry Williams first appeared, he was
56
The Development and Growth of the Client
wearing his army uniform without insignia, no tie, no hat.
In the course of the conference he explained that although
he possessed an adequate wardrobe of civilian clothes he
could not bring himself to wear them. "It's not because I
haven't got any civilianclothes. I've got a whole closet full,
but I just can't wea1~ them-not even around the house. I
was never self-conscious in uniform . .But this civilian stuff,
I don't understand it: I can't seem to find out what it's all
about." Later it became apparent that he was worried by
what men in uniform would think ..of him if they could see
1' that he was only a civilfari. Five years in the Army had
1
)1 made too great a change in .his way of living. After talking
out these and other serious attitudes he appeared at his
next conference in a neat double-breasted blue suit with an
army discharge pin and silver wings on the lapel. He men-
tioned that it was the first time he had been able to get into
civilian clothes. Here again is l:l- small step, but a very impor-
tant one in that it symbolized a change in outlook, an
acceptance of his status as a discharged serviceman, as a
civilian with the Army behind him, whether he wanted it
so or not. The first positive steps will frequently be of such
apparently triyial character. When placed in their proper
context, however,-in the total life situation of the client-
it is usually fairly easy to see their signifi/cance for him. It
is the symbolic value of the act that is important, not the
act itself.
The situation is quite analagous, again, with recuperation
from a disease. When the patient's temperature finally
begins to drop after a prolonged crisis, for example, that
change is one sy~ptom of a changing condition of the total
organism. The significance of that simple change is .much
greater than a mere indication that the temperature is
57
 Counseling with Returned Servicemen
decreasing. Tentative positive actions are symptoms of
successful progress, just as the problems the client first con-
siders are symptoms of maladjustment.
Of course, the client may report more striking steps such
as reconciliation with his wife, a dramatic break with his
parents, securing a job through his own efforts, taking his son
for a camping trip, etc. The important feature is thatthe client
has done sornethiiig-has actually, on his own initiative and
motivation, taken a positive step forward in an attempt to
reach a more satisfactory adjustment to his situation.
Experience suggests indeed that not only are these initial
steps significant, but that they help to buil'd in the client a
belief in his own strength to deal with llfe. Consequently it
is not surprising that while during the counseling contacts
the positive steps, such as learning to dance, are few and
symbolic, a check-up a few months later may reveal that
these initial steps have expanded into a much more complete
reor~anization of the client's whole pattern of behavior.
Ending the .Contacts
After the _client has begun to take steps to improve his
life situation, he will-before long-reach the point of ter-
minatini the counseling contacts. The decision to terminate
. comes from the client. Perhaps he may set a limit in which
to deal with remaining issues. "I think I'll only need an-
other, two conferences." Or he may say at the end of a
conference something to this effect: "I guess I won't need
to see you any more. I think I can handle things from
here on by myself." In either case, the counselor will accept
1t::i!
J the client's decision. Any feelings about terminating will be
J,
accepted and reflected.
The counselor should not expect that the serviceman will
58 . ~ 59
The Development and Growth of the Client
leave the counseling experience with boundless enthusiasm
and unlimited self-confidence. Instead there is usually the
feeling that although he will not need to return any more
he recognizes that there are .still problems confronti.'ng him.
He realizes that the road ahead is not all roses and sunshine,
but he feels that he can work things through alone. Rather
than an over-confidence, the client manifests a satisfaction
'r.
j
with the progress he has made and, at the same time, a sober
realization of the difficulties that still lie ahead. The goal of
1
counseling, then, is not to turn out an individual with no
problems. No counselor- can expect once and for all to solve
any problems that a client may encounter. Even if it were
possible, such an outcome would not be desirable. Living
consists in the facing of problems and adjusting to them.
,.:'1.
., (
Realizing.this, the counselor will be prepared to understand.
1 the limitations on what he can do for a client. If the client
.(
/ l has gained some degree of insight and is able to face the
ii
. . issues that underlie his difficulties with the realization that
,,
there are decisions to be made, if he has gained some addi-
:.,I
.'
1'
tional control over his bel;tavior through an understanding
J'
'. of motives of which he was formerly unaware, that is as
.\
~: ,,
~
much as the counselor has a right to expect.
-~ '
Sometimes in the last interView the client will bring up
:t; ~; . man;y- new problems one after another. Usually, if these are
calmly accepted in the spir'it of the preceding interviews
..'
:":
. '
the client will recognize that he is a bit relu~tant to sever
his relationship with the counsel9r and has been attempting
., to prolong the counseling experience. In any case; if the
,?:'. counselor continue~ to make use of the techniques described
in Chapter IV, he will find that the client can go on to
accept 'the termination. It is important that the client be
given the freedom to _make this decision, for it is the repre-
' '
It.
~\
t~<I'. '.
ili'
Counseling with Returned Servicemen
sentation of the :final choice to accept responsibility for his
own behavior. By terminating the contacts, he is breaking
his tie with the counselor and resuming a full measure of
responsibility for the life situation in which he :finds himself.
Often the client will wish, to continue seeing the counseloT
in a friendly relationship. Perhaps he will invite him to
dinner or to spend an evening with the family. However,
the counselor will probably be best serving his function if
he points out that this does not fall within the scope of their
professional relationship. Such friendly contacts would
jeopardize any future assistance that the counselor might
be able to offer should the serviceman decide that he needed
it. If this limit is clearly stated, the client will face it, accept
it, and terminate the contacts in a clean-cut, positive
fashion.
60
Chapter Six
THE COUNSELING PROCESS IN ACTION
' I : E TWO
'
--C~APTE~ JUST PRECEDING HAVE
described the techniques used by the counselor, and the
predictable process of growth typical of the client. The
present chapter will illustrate some of these aspects from .
case material, which will give the reader a chance to observe
the trends for himself. It also includes an opportunity for
the counselo~ to try out some of his own skills in practice
interviews.
A VETERAN IN .INDUSTRY
Some of the initial phases of the counseling process are
illustrated in the case of L. H., a portion of which follows.
The reader who wishes to gain the most help out of this
material will decide for himself the response that he would
make to each one of L. H.'s statements qefore he reads the
counselor's response. The best way to do this is to cover the
unread portion of the interview with a piece ofpaper until
the reader's own statement has been formulated.
L. H. was a discharged serviceman who had seen three years
of army service, two of them overseas. He had been wounded
by a shell fragment in his leg and after recovery had been
assigned to an isolated overseas post. He was eventually
61
Counseling with R eturned Servicemen .
classified as psychoneurotic and discharged. He was em-
ployed in a war plant, but was a problem to his supervisor
because of his restlessness and nervous behavior. Two weeks
after he had been employed, in a casual contact with the .
industrial counseloi on the job, L. H. said that he felt "all
tied up inside" and that he had about decided to quit. The
counselor told L .. H. that he was always available to any
employee who wIShed to talk things over a:hd invited him
to come to his office at any time it was convenient to leave
his job, if he wished to discuss his situation. .
~
~(
b
L. H. appeared at the counselor's office the next day. He
appeared tense; never . smiled, seemed very serious and
u~appy. He was somewhat inarticulate and found it
. 1;)
difficult to put his thoughts into words. Portions of the first 'i
~ ..
'
two interviews are reported here from the counselor's notes
Each item is numbered for easy reference. . :..!
.}
.._,.
First Interview
1. L. H: "I don't know what's the matter with me. I just
ca~'t see~ ~o set,tle down. I don't like to stick to ariy- . ~
thmg. This Job Ive got should be all right for me, but
I can hardly stand it to keep on working."
2 C OUNSEr.oR:
. "You ' re worried and upset because you
can't buckle down to whatever you start to do."
3. L. H: "That's right-I get all upset-I-I always seem
to remember what happened t~ me in the army. I
really went through hell!"
4. CouNSELOR: "You feel you really had a very tough time
while in the army."
5. L. H: ,''I'll say I did. (Pause.) Well, the first few year.'1
weren t so bad, but the last year was terrible. I never
want to go through that again as long . as I live. The
6! . 68
The Counseling Process in Actwn
men didn't associate with me much. I wouldn't say I
had any friends there. Nobody had any use for me, and
my commanding officer rode me something a,wful-you
I
can't imagine how it was."
6. Cou:NsELOR: "You feel that quite a few people had.it
in for you."
7. L. H: "Yes, that's putting it mildly. It got so bad that
they were always calling me vile names and I had to
fight for a:ny rights I wanted, and then finally I was
'
t' wounded and got away from all that."
8. CouNSELOR: "It w:a& almost a relief to you to be
wounded and get away from all the things you went
through."
t
9 . .L. H: "Yes, it was. (Pause.) But the pay-off to all this
came when. an army doctor got hold of me. I told him
a lot of very, very personal things that.had no concern
/
with the army. He betrayed my trust and told my
commanding officer all that I confided in him. I could
have killed him for that! I had a bad time telling any-
' body anything after that. (Pause.) But for some reason
it seems different with you-you know I wouldn't tell
you all this if I didn't trust you.
10. COUNSELOR: "Although the doctor made it hard for
you to talk about your feelings, you have some confi-
dence in me."
IL L. H: "Yes. You know I hated those men so much I
could kill them. I would just think of all the things I'd
like to do to them. Maybe that's not right, but that's
the way I felt."
12. CoUNSELOR: "You feel a little guilty about these in-
tense feelings of hatred, but they were there never-
theless."
Counseling with Returned Servicemen
13. L . H: "Yes-in fact (pause)-! just about did kill a
fellow. We got in a fight (tells detail~ of the quarrel),
and I hit him with a wrench. I guess I went out of my
head."
14. CouNSELOR: ,"You feel you lost all control of your
emotions for a while."
15. L. H.: "You know I seem to get relief by just getting this
out. You're the first person I've ever told that to."
16. CouNSELOR: "It helps you to talk about these things
that you have been keeping to yourself."
The remainder of the interview was concerned with other
aspects of his problem.
Second Interview (Following day)
17. L. H.: "I feel pretty bad today---can't seem to figure
what's wrong."
18. CouNSELOR: "It disturbs you because you can't get to
the bottom of your trouble."
19. L . H.: "Yeah, that's it. Now take today for instance,
everything seemed to go wrong. The job I was on didn't
turn out right and the foreman got mad, and then I got
mad as hell at him. It was all I could do to control my-
self .. I wanted to pick up a wrench and I-well-,--!
almost wanted to kill him. That's bad . . . . "
20. CouNSELOR: "It scare~ you to think that you have such
feelings."
21. L. H.: "Yes, very much-I'm going to t ell you some-
thing that you're going to think is very strange and
I don't want you to tell anybody. The other night I was
piaying with my little nephew, and he started to cry,
and then I got the strangest desire that-well I wanted
to kill him too! That's terrible to f~el that way toward
64
The Counseling Process in Action
a little child that can't defend himself or anything! I
can't understand why I feel that way!"
22. COUNSELOR: "It disturbs you a great deal and you
feel guilty when you have th~se feelings of wanting to
kill your little nephew."
~8. L. H.: "Yeah, that's it~it seems that I'm full of hate-
God, I wish I c.ould get it out of my system! Sometimes
it gets to the point where I feel I can't contro1l it. That's
the way I feel today." .
~4. COUNSELOR: "You would . like to have some way of
getting rid of th.ese -feelings of hostility so that they
I
wouldn't control you anymore."
25. L. H.: "Yes-in some way where it wouldn't hurt any-
body. (Pause.) You know this talking about it helps a
lot."
26. ~ CouNSELOR: "It helps to sort of talk it out."
27. L. H. : "That's right."
(The interview continues on other issues.)
In five interviews this ex-serviceman made sufficient
progress so that he felt, ''I can go along on my own now."
He came to realize, "Maybe I was sort of to blame too when
I got into trouble in the army." He gained significant
release of his hostile feelings. He worked out some of his
problems inr relation to girls, about which he had been dis-
turbed. He continued to work for this firm for nine months
and left to open a small machine shop of his own. His
industrial adjustme_nt was greatly improved, and though
he came in to talk with the counselor occasionally, hi~
attitude was mucli more constructive, and he showed self-
assurance and a freedom from guilt that was in marked
contrast to his first contact.
65
 .,
(. 1
-~

;~
Counseling with Returned Servicemen ,,11 . ! The Counseling Process in Action
;lj '
.: f
Comments on Case of l. H. 20. A very good reflection of attitude.'
.1:.
The numbers refer to the numbered items in the case. 22. Many counselors would be tempted. at this point to
2. This is a good reflection of feeling. Notice how much .3 '. 'give reassurance. This would be hurtful to progress. To tell
more helpful it is than asking questions. If the counselor the man, "Oh, I'm sure you wouldn't actually hurt him,"
had asked questions about any of the points raised in 1, the ..,( \
~ .
or "All of us feel irritated at children at times, and feel we'd
client would have been prevented from going on to the like to hurt them," tends to deny the depth of his own
topic that concerned him more--his experience in the army. attitude. To ' find that the counselor can accept without
4, 6, 8. Very adequate r,eflection of feeling. Number 8 shock and without a judgmental evaluation such a deeply

shows a particularly sensitive understanding of what the -~ . aggressive attitude makes it easier for the client to accept
",.;
/ i \

man has just been saying. it as genuinely a part of himself .Once he truly accepts it
'.~:
9. It may seem strange that confidence in the counselor .
without trying to repress or deny it, then he finds that he
:i1 l',
has developed rapidly enough to bring forth the last part of .
can control it. Impulses of which we are fully conscious, whose
-~
this statement. Actually the counselor has done a great deal existence we do not deny, rarely bring about any seriously
to indicate that he is a nonthreatening, understanding, maladjusted behavior.
permissive individual in whom it would be safe to confide. 23, 25. Even while he is wishing that he could get these
He permitted L. H. to decide for himself whether to come aggressive 3;.ttitudes out of his system "where it wouldn't
for assistance; he has consistently kept all responsibility hurt.anybody," he comes ~o realize that this is exactly what
I
with L. H.; he has shown understanding and acceptance of 'i he is doing by talking them out. This is the reason the inter-
' l.
attitudes often taboo; he has not probed or pried into L. H.' s .view has helped.
r
'1

affairs. Consequently the mai:l feels very differently toward '24, 26. The counselor recognizes that imggestions are not
. I
him than he does toward the military physician. needed, that L. H. is already working out a more satis-
12. Counselor wisely refrains from reproof, or from
~. factory. and realisVc relationship to his hitherto repressed
identifyi:iJ.g and giving sympathy. H feelings of hostility. He is rapidly reaching the point where
13. Note how the client-centered approach has quickly he. can live with himself.
permitted L. H. to explore his situation more an~ more
deeply. First the problem is that he cannot settle down (1). A SERVICEMAN ACHIEVES INSIGHT

Then the problem is his very unhappy experience in the
army (3, 5, 7, 9). Then the problem is defined as feelings ~f
hatred that he has had in the past, about which he has felt
guilty (11, 13) . In the second interview the problem is defined
still more deeply as being present attitudes of hatred, about
which he feels deeply guilty (19, 21, 23). This exploration
at deepening levels is typical.
66
Many of the examples cited throughout the preceding
chapters come from counseling interviews where the issues
were rathet simple and clear-cut. With the client whose
~Ir sitl.lation is more complex, or whose defensiveness is greater,
.fii I'.
/
the development of the counseling process may be more
{ !' complicated even though the basic pattern of change is the
s3l1lle. If the counselor studies carefully the case of Irving -
67

Counseling with Returned Servicemen
Savrensky, which follows, it will help to prepare him for the
handling and the understanding of these more intricate
patterns of change.
Irving Savrensky was a private in the Army Specialized
Training Program in the premedical curriculum. The strain
of an intensive academic program in conjunction with
military activities was further intensified by his personal
situation. His wife lived and worked in a city close to the
university where he was stationed, but they were not able
to live together. With his worries about his school work,
his wife's job, the future and his inability to plan for it,
Savrensky was carrying a heavy burden. Then when it
became certain that his wife was pregnant, the strain on
him became too great and he came to the counseling service
for help in adjusting to the situation. The strength of his
desire for help is illustrated by his expectation that he
would be required to pay for the counseling . .He was fully
willing to do this despite the fact that after various deduc-
tions from his pay only about $15 per month remained .
The general facts of the background as they were revealed
in the course .of treatment can be summarized as follows:
Irving's parents were Polish-Jewish immigrants who spoke
only broken English. The father had built up a business that
he expected to turn over to Irying and his brother. How-
ever; when Irving tried to work in the store, he just could
not seem to learn to sell. Eventually, his father became
disgusted with him and Irving left home. He went to a large
city where he was able to find work. Before long he met a
girl whom he began dating. However, when he realized that
she was beginning to become serious about him, he with-
drew and ceased seeing her. Later he realized that he loved
her and resumed the relationship. After he was drafted into
68
1
The Counseling Process in Action
the army, they decided to marry, and, although her parents
put up strong opposition, they carried out their plan.
Eventually, Irving was assigned to the A.S.T ~P. and sent
to the university. One important formative influence should
be not~d. From the age of five years until eleven years he
was crippl~d and prevented from playing the sports and
games that other boys his age did. When he finally was able
to get around again, he found himself so far behind the other
fello~s that he felt left out of everything. Further, he was
quite sensitive about being fat,_and this increased his sense
of isolation.
With this brief background, let us examine the content of
Irving's conferen~es and notice how he gradually developed
an increased understanding of himself.
first Conference: Aug, 29 . *
After outlining some of his family background Irving
begins to talk of himself.
1. "I have a lot of trouble with boils. I get one or two a
week, and they make me feel miserable and irritable."
9l. "I don't know whether J lack confidence or whether I
just dislike myself.'' (He is now beginning .to state
where he feels the problem lies. However, as will be-
come apparent later, this feeling is really only one
symptom of the prbblem.)
'1
'1 * The following quotations do not tell all that Irving said on any
.J topic, hut rather they provide a summary of the feelings ~e expressed
<j .
in each conference; Each quotation was considered to give the bet
.~ I statement of the gei:ieral area .of feeling that Irving was then elaborating.
1.'. r\ Since these quotations are given in the sequence in which they occurred,
L
.
.1
l it is possible to foll~w the twists and turns by which Irving approaches'
insight. Editorial comments are inserted in parentheses.
69
 Counseling with Returned Servicemen
3. "Nobody dislikes me, but I have no close friends
either."
4. Discusses his illness when he had to walk on crutches.
Then, "My dad thought that nothing was the matter
with me at the time. He thought it was my mother's
imagination." (Already, without realizing it, Irving is
turning from stating symptoms to an exploration of the
role he played in his family. It is from such explorations
of feelings and attitudes that insights grow. He carries
on this examination of his relation to his family in
succeeding statements.)
5. "I always looked up to my brother as being smart."
6. "My family didn't show much affection toward each
other, but it is felt."
7. "When I was young I always thought that my parents
held great affection for each other. Now I have some
doubts about that." (The counselor's acceptance of
Irving's previous feeling made it possible for Irving to
examine the, family relationship a bit further, and he
concludes that he is not so sure that the family was as
affectionate as he thought).
8. "My mother is the most wonderful person in the world."
9. "l\~y wife is much like my mother. I have compared
them a lot."
10: "My father is stubborn-he held his convictions
strongly. He's a pretty smart man." (Now he has sized
up each of the main figures in his life. Having deter-
...
'
u
. mined the part that.each of these main characters plays,
I/!
he can now examine his relationship to them. It is often
true that we understand ourselves better when we have
examined other people in oi:ir life situation and decided
how we fit in with the kinds of roles they play.)
70
The Counseling Process in Action
"l feel that I have outgrown the family. Fqr example,
11.
I'm more aware of my mother's accent than I ever was
before, andT feel sad for her."
rn. "I feit more strongly toward my mother than my
fathe~< I was very close to her~kept nothing from her<'
13. "Now that I'm married, I'm drifting away from the
.home." (Alth~ugh at first glance the sentiments that
Irving manifests in this conference seem to be unrelated
and chaotic,,closer inspection reveals that he is attempt-
ing to orient 'himself in the netwol'k of personal rela-
tions that ~om:prise his life situation. It is somewhat
like t~ying to find one's bearings in the midst of a con-
fusing situation by determining where all the landmarks
are and then relating oneself to these. As yet Irving
apparently does not feel free enough to go more deeply
into an investigation of himself.)
1:
1
! Seconcl Conference: Aug. 31 (2-day interval)
14. "There are four problems that have been bothering
i.
me . . . . . I don't remember things I study as well as I
used to. . . . I wonder what I will do after the war.
l
Thinking about what to do then-about my wife-and
now that we're going to have a baby-keeps me awake
at night. . . : I'm very .shy in public situations. . . .
I have unaccountable moods. Sometimes I'm dis-
contented for several days; then maybe I'll be okay-
for no apparent reason." (Again Irving begins the
A
. conference with a listing of symptoms.)
:,\ .
. 15. "There's another thing. This may sound silly, but it
bothers me. Sometimes my wife seems irresistible; I
want to be near her-:--:can't get her out of my mind. And
yet at other times I really wonder whether I love her.
71
 Counseling with Retu1ned Servicemen
And yet I know I do. It's so confusing." (Very clear-cut
statement of ambivalent feelings toward his wife.)
16. "I have no driving purpose-no strong ambitions. I'rri
not sure that I even want to be a doctor. There doesn't
seem to be any reason or purpose in anything. What are
we living for? How can you justify anything? Every-
thing seems so futile and pointless."' (This area of feel-
ing provides a clue as to why he has the ambivalent
feelings toward his wife. We know there must be .some
psychological relation between 15 and 16 since they
occur in direct sequence. This relation becomes clearer
when the next area of feeling in the sequence (17)
occurs. This trio of apparently unrelated statements
serves as an example that although a conference may
seem chaotic when viewed in terms of the intellectual
content of the statements, there is an underlying order
to it when examined in terms of feelings or motivations.
The sequence of the client's statements-what follows
what-is not a mere accident. Rather, topics of con-
versation occur when they do as a result ofthe working
of the client's personality. For this reason it is impor-
tant for the counselor to avoid inserting his own ideas
into the conference and to concentrate on following the
pattern that the client unfolds.)
, ~
17. "One thing I know I want. I want tb be a darn good
husband. Ii want my wife and children to be happy. I
want to protect her from hurt. She was sensitive be-
cause she was fat; I feel that she deserves happiness.
I was fat. I know how it felt to be cut. I know how she
must have felt. So I'd like to keep her from being hurt."
(Now the pattern begins to become clearer-to an out-
sider. Irving has said that he experiences ambivalent
7~
The Counseling Process in Action
feelings toward his wife; next that he has no ambition;
~nd finally that he has a strong desire to make his wife
happy. The last two areas of feeling (16, 17) state
opposite trends that go together to make up an am-
bivalence also. He could have said, "I have no ambi-
tion, and yet I do have an ambition to make my wife
happy." Since this ambivalence parallels the preceding
ambivalence (15), it is easy to see the relation. Thus,
we suspect that his ambivalence toward his wife stems
from the fact that it plaGes a responsibility on him
which he,is not ready to accept. He loves her, yet he is
not sure of his love because it involves taking respon-
sibility. Since he has no driving purpose or ambition,
it is unpleasant to feel such an -obligation. Although he
has stated consecutively the separate parts of the rela-
tion, Irving has not yet seen the connection between
ir these different feelings. His next 'topic of conversa-
{
I
tion, however, brings the relation a little closer to the
.. 1 ).
surface.)
'l::'i 18. "I never felt, it right for a woman to work. The man
should provide full support for the family. I'd like to
i
have a. maid even, so that she wouldn't have to do
Ir
housework 'and could enjoy herself and the children . .
. But instead of my being able to give her money, she
r gives me money. And yet it doesn't matter to her. I
'f . guess if she's happy this way I shouldn't care-that's
1 what she s~ems to want. And yet I can't help feeling
.!
- I like I do." (So he feels that he should be taking the
!
responsibility for his wife, and yet he finds himseH
dependent upbn her. Although intellectually he can
reason it out so that it makes.no difference, emotionally
he feels uncomfortable -about it.).
73 '
 Counseling with Returned Servicemen
19. ~'I guess I have a sh:ict sense of honor. I don't feel right
if I cheat on tests. Even though I have chances-a~d .
I know that others are cheating-yet I just feel wrong
to do it." (Expression of positive feelings about him-
self. He realizes that there are some strong points about
him after all.)
20. "At times I c~n be terrifically absent-minded. That
was true before I married." (Statement of another
symptom of the problem together with a recognition
.'':It
of the fact that it existed prior to his' marriage. The
problem then cannot be due to the marriage. Conse-
~uen~ly1 it must be a problem of self-adjustment.)
21. I wish I could b.e more definite, more clear-cut more
pushing." (Expression of a positive desire to cha~ge, to
become more mature.)
_:\
22. "I continually have argument~ ~ith myself~ I'll want
to do som~thing, and yet I won't want to. I'll give iny-
s~l~ b:oth sides, but I can't make up my mind." (Recog-
mt10n and acceptance that there is Internal conflict.
These last three areas of feeling could be summarized
into this type of statement: "The problem is due to
the kind of person I am; I want to change; but I'm in
conflict and can't make'up m:y mind.")
Third Conlerence: Sept. 5 (5-day interval)
23. "There are some things that have been bothering me
la~ely. Before I go to sleep I keep thinking about these
thi~gs. Sometimes I wonder what if my wife should die .
durmg childbirth. Maybe I want her to." (Restatement
. of t~e ambivalence toward the wife with greater em-
phasis upon the negative aspects of the feeling. Appar-
ently, the permissiveness ef the ~ituation now makes
74
The Counseling Process in Action
it possible for Irving to accept more full,Y the extent
of his ambivalence toward his wife.)
24. "The other night I .h ad the most peculiar feeling. I
thought of my wife as a leech.' 7 (Refer back to 15, 16,
17, 18. In ,one statement he here gathers together
'J,
symbolically the entire trend that was expressed piece-
1 meal at that earlier time. Of course; as yet he still does
ii not realize the significance of it.)
i\I
a
25. "I have trouble sleeping. I used to be sound sleeper;
now I always have an uneasy sleep and wake easily-a
;1l light and restless sleeper.'' (It is probably significant
rp that he returns to symptoms here. The feeling of 24 is
1l i
. perhaps too painful for him to examine farther, so he
.I.
1 retreats to a <;liscussion of a manifestation of the prob-
:\ . lem rather than the problem itself.) .
26. "I have very . little ;self-motivation." (Return to the
I.'
r theme of 16.)
27. "I enjoy reading on my own, but when it is assigned I
don't enjoy it-in fact, I actually find it more difficult.
ii In chemistry I'd get interested and read several chap-
I ters ahead, but when I have to read the assignment it's
I very dull and I ca,n't keep myself at it.~' . (In disguised
j
fashfon Irving is saying that he does haye some initia-
tive to do'things on his own, but he hates to be made
responsible for "them to somebody. else. Naturally, the
counselor did not communicate this to Irving, but
1
continued to reflect the feeling that was directly ex-
pressed in each statement.)
28. "I can't do anything because I really want to. For
example, recently I started smoking a pipe. I don't
know why. Maybe it's just because I;m 'identifyi~g
with you-you smoke a pipe. Or maybe it's j'ust be-
.: /l
(.. ' 75
.. ;,~ \:
. .,.1
';~~ ~
A'.
:)1 ''
. ~ ..
. .,,~

Counsel{ng with Returned Servicernen
cause my wife wants me Jo. Even on a simple thing like
that I can't make up my mind-can't decide why I act
as I do." (As sym1:>0lized by a concrete example, Irving
is expressing again his negative feelings about him-
self. In effect, he is saying, "I'm not responsible even
for my own behavior.")
29. "I get the feeling that I'm watching myself from the
outside-that I'm n,ot really -responsible for myself. If
others like the soup; so do I . If they don't, rieither do
I. I just go along with the group. It's not that I try to
be like the rest; I'm just indifferent-makes no dif-
. - ference to me. I feel my wife is like tllat too. She thinks
she wants to have a baby. She 'd oesn't really want one;
it's just to please her grandfather. He wants a great~
grandchild before he dies. It isn't her own motivation.
Yet her father and mother don't think we should have
children now. (Pause.) Why don't I say that she wants
one even in spite of their wishes? But I really feel that
it isn't her own desire-it's because of her grandfather.
See, th~t's another argument with myself." (In this
crucial statement, Irving begins to express glimmerings
of later insight. First he feels that he is not responsible
for. :his own behavior. Next he attributes the same
feeling to his wife-pointing out that sh'e doesn't really
want to have a baby. And then he begins to glimpse the
fact that he is stacking the cards in favor of his own
view--'-that he is trying 'to deny that he does feel that
they must shoulder the responsibility for their own
acts. In effect, he poses this problem for himself, "Why
do I say that she doesn't really want to have a baby
and merely wants to please her grandfather, instead of
'i
'. ' saying that she wants one so much that she is willi~g
76
~' 1
1;i
i j.'
j,
l~ '
'i:
', ~ .
.~;~ '~
~
The Counseling Process in Action
i \'
to go against her parents' wishes in the matter?" He
-~ ~ .
is asking himself why he is attempting to deny his
wife's control over her behavior and -in' her-denying
-that basic~lly he does want to be mature and accept
th~ responsibility for facing reality.)
I
Fourth Conference; Se_pt. 7 (2-day interval)
30. Begins talking about schoolwork. "I feel that I have
l ability; but it doesn't show. I forget easily, make care-
")' less mistakes even though I _!<:now how to work out the .
i' :
, I
I' problems."
'!. ~ ' 31. "I vary between self-sympathy and a don't-care
hi 1
d: attitude."
32. "My lack of motivation is the significant thing. I start
.~
I
off highly motivated-really wanting to do a good job,
~ ...
but that fades fast and I lose all desire to get ahead."
33. "The basis for' this lack of motivation is that I didn't
l want to do what Dad asked me to do. I would be read-
jl
ing or doing something of my own, and he would want
l me to do some work in the store. Dad would call me
-.i lazy to try to make ine feel I ought to do it." (Final~y,
I
Irving begins to explore the roots Of his lack of motiva-
:f
tion. Instead of accepting a lack of motivation as a
fundamental cause of his behavior, he sees that this is
only-the symptom of a more basic personality condition.)
34. "I guess I've been hiding behind this lack of motiva-
. tion as an excuse." (Now it is out in the open. Irving
recognizes that his lack of ambition is merely an excuse
with which he has protected himself.)
35. "Probably part ~f the trouble is that I am strongly
motivated for the first time in my life. I want to take
care of my wife and of children we will have. I'm not
77
 Counseling with Returned Servicemen
used to being motivab~d-it is an alien feeling. Maybe
I'm trying to use the same old excuse and it doesn't
work now. I guess it probably goes back to this old
dodge of mine-laziness." (He has ~ot only . reached
the point where he can refer to his lack of motivation .
as a "dodge," but he now sees where the trouble in his
life situation lies. He has now gathered together the
tangled strands of the feelings he earlier expressed-
especially 15, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24, 29-and is weaving
them into a coherent pattern.)
36. Talks about the chemistry course. "This business of
giving grades and tests in college courses is foolishness.
A self-initiated drive is best for learning. Why not let
the students learn because they want to?"
37. "However, the average student would probably take
advantage of such a system. The average student is
not .motivated." (To the inexperienced it may seem
that Irving has left .his problem and is now going into
an intellectual discussion of college work. However, in
reality he js discussing his problem but disguised behind
a different symbol from that which he has previously
used. For the counselor to engage in such an academic
discussion on the merits of grades, etc., would have been
to impede the course of counseling. On the other hand
if . the counselor had attempted to draw Irving back
to what he (the counselor) felt was the problem, he
would probably have met with resistance and defensive-
ness. However, by responding to the feeling behind
Irving's statements, it becorp.es possible for him to
recognize the import of his .discussion. See 38.)
f.
,l'i
r 38. "I guess perhaps I'm judging others by mys~lf. That is
] r;;lly an expression of my own lack of motivation,"
- ........................__....._______________
11
I I :tj
i'1
.. lj
'!,!
Ir,:;
f,1'1!
11.e,:
lf';i:,
- ...-
~-~ ..
. ............. ......... ......
___ ,_
.;;t11
. The Counseling Process in Action
39. "The trouble is that I just haven't wanted to do
things." (Obviously, the insight gained in 33, 34, 35
has not yet been completely emotionally accepted, for
Irving is repeating again'that the trouble is that he is
-~ .
just not motivated.)
.~ .
t 40. -" Maybe th~t is a motivation in itself. It seems to hav~
'
been mine. That is, I have been motivated not to want
to do things." (He returns to the acceptance of the
insight. Looking back over this conference, it will be-
"'"
' l
come apparen.t that after Irving reaches the high point
at 35 he spends _the rest of the time working around
that insight. In different ways he expresses the same
feelings and accepts them only to retreat and then to
c.ome back to acceptance. It is almost as if Irving has
developed insight so fast that he cannot at first accept
his own' statement of the problem, and so he must work
it ov~r for a while until it can be.come part of him. It
should be obv1ous that the counselor did not reach an
interpretation of t~e case which he then communicated
to Irving. Rather, bit by bit, at his own speed, Irving
laid out the various elements and began to assemble
them into a pattern. When the first major outlines of
l that pattern became clear, his forward inomeritu.m
~eased and he began to work at the task of digesting
,- i. what he had discovered so far.)
, Fifth Conference: Sept. 9 (2-day interval)
41. Begins the conference by discussing his current situ-
'
ation. "I feel that I could study better if I weren:'t com-
pelled to study at specific hours. . . . I could study
better if I could spend the evenings with my wife-'.-as
it is now I spend the time thinking of her instead of
i , studying."
7'9
'*
:/
.I
':: \
<1 .

Counseling with Returned Servicemen
42. "Do you suppose there could be some psychological
reason behind these boils? I've been to lots of different
doctors, and none of the!ll can seem to tell me what
causes them_:_or to do anything about them. I've been
thinking about that quite a bit. I had the first one when
my mother was in the hospital. Now they are practi-
cally continuous. When I first came in the army, I had
very few. Of course, that was only . for about four
months so I can't be sure that they were really better.
I liked my situation then- I had no decisions to make ;
my life was all laid out for me. But recently I've had
them almost continuously." (In 42 Irving seems to say
that boils occur when responsibilities pile up on him
and disappear when he doesn't have to make decisions.)
43. "I know that I take advantage of them (the boils). For.
example, if I don't want to go to calisthenics, I say that
my boils are bothering me. And I thin.k they are at the
time, but later on I'll realize that it was just an:. excuse
to get out of it."
44. "Maybe I'm causing myself all these troubles. Maybe
I'm even responsible for my boils~" (The issue of
responsibility is raised again. Only this time it appears
i:J. 1:1 :still different context than before. In effect, "I am
responsible for myself and my behavior-even to the
extent of influencing my health.")
45. "I guess that what's behind .all this is that my strongest
motivation is to suppress all motivation . (Pause.) I can
see that, but I want to know what caused it. Why
should that be? Where did it come from? It seems
senseless." (Irving is unable to carry this insight over
into actually doing something unless he can find out
more about the causes underlying it. In other words,
80
- -~--- - - -
...1.
1
I The Counseling Process in Action
this statement reflects a partial acceptance of the
i~sight . )
46'. "Perhap's there is some relation b~tween my long
j I
period of illness and my present situation." (He goes on
.,
to discuss that in great detail.)
!
i. 47. "When I was finally able to play sports, I was behind
"
11
~
all the other fellows, but now I'm beginni~g to get the
\ l
, feeling that I'm not such a dud. I'm afraid that I'll
{. strike out when I have to bat in baseball, but the last
several times I've played J haven't. Maybe I'm just
i
average after -all;"' (After discussing the feeling of
. I
inferiority that developed in his crippled period, he
\1 ,\ finally comes out with a more positive attitude toward
" himself. Although extremely slight and tentative, it .
does seem to indicate that the insight already gained
is beginning to effect a change in Irving, that he is
i becoming free of old feelings of inferiority which have
'i caused him to stay in the background in competition
I
1
with other fellows.)
48. "And take ping-pong . I think I can control the ball-
put it right where I want it. I think ;r can force the other
player to set up the kind of shot I want for a smash
return. Other fellows say that I'm good, but I feel that
it's just luck Something I'd lilce to try-I wonder if
I were to draw five-inch circles on the table if I could
put the ball inside any one that I wanted." (In another
area of activity, Irving expresses more confidence in
i' his ability. And yet he is not able to feel that it is his
ij.
I
. I /
own doing-"I feel that it is just luck." His las-t
sentence is a disguised expression of the question, "Am
I really responsible for myself? Can I really do the
things I want to do?").
. 81
Counseling ?J.Yith Returned Servicemen
The Counseling Process in Action

Sixth Conference: Sept. 14 (5-day interval) For this reason conferences are not needed as frequently
as in some othe~ methods of treatment. Second, notice
49. "I feel that we are getting some place."
Irving's statement of his attempt to get the counselor
50. "The other night I was thinking about this, and sud-
to take the responsibility for bringing up the topic at
denly it came to me that the .basic factor is fear. lt has
the next c~nference. It is precisely this sort of problem
made me stifle all my emotions. After I thought of
that Irving continually 'meets . .Does he have enough
that, I couldn't forget it. My mind kept repeating,
confidence in his own ahility? Is he free ~nough of the
'You're afraid. That's it. You're afraid.' I wanted to
fear of failing to accept the responsibility of doing
see you right a.w ay to tell you. Then the other day I
something on his own? Third, it is interesting to note
tried t<;> see yo'u. I waited for a while, but you kept
the way that Irving recognizes that the value of the
talking to somebody else, and I had to go to class.
"' counseling sitilatlo~ lies not merely in the client's
What I wanted to see you about was this discovery of . ,I
gaining knowledge-no matter how significant-but in
mine. I was afraid that I would forget it, and I wanted
the relation with the counselor which helps the client
you to remind me of it when I came in here today. It's 'i
I ,
to ~similate and absorb the full emotional import of
strange-when I thought of that idea about fear being
that.knowledge.)
behind this the other night I immediately began to
51. "I;wonder why.'' (Irving is not y~t satisfied with the
be afraid that I would forget to tell you. And yet I J
explanation he has reached.)
would say to myself, 'What's the matter? You know it,
5~. Tells of an incident when he first lost faith in his mother
don't you? Yes, but I ought to, tell Mr. . But
for revealing something he had asked her not to tell
if you know it what di~erence does it make if you tell
anybody.
him? I don't know, but I want to tell him-I'm. afraid
53. Tells of an embarrassing incident in the sixth grade.
that I'll forget about it.' I was having another of those
The teacher forced him to be in a playlet about good
ar.guments with myself. So I guess what is behind this
eating habits. Each student had to .be some vegetable
is that when I meet a new situation I .have a fear _of
, ( or food. As he was very fat at the time, when he came
failing or doing it wrong, and then that makes me not
on the stage wearing a sign "MEAT" the audience
want to do it." (Again Irving shows increasing insight.
roared and he was greatly humiliated.
He now knows that his lack of motivation .was really
! ' 54. "I dislike being laughed at-and yet sometimes I'll
a symptom of an underlying fear of failing. There are .
deliberately do something that will cause others to laugh
several significant points to notfoe in this statement.
at me . . . sort of play the clown." (Another example
First, the discovery of the underlying fear occurred
of the sort of defense mechanism that characterizes
between conferences. This is frequently the cases, since
Irving. By deliberately inviting oth~rs to laugh at hiin,
progress does not cease at the end of a conference hour.
i he avoids the pain of being humiliated by others.)
l
8~
83
:l
.{
:'
. ' 1i
~: 1'1
'J '.'
 Counseling with Returned Servicemen
55. "Then, too, it used to hurt me that my brother and I
weren't companions."
56. "I guess there were many incidents tliat developed this
feeling that I wasn't wanted-because I was afraid that
I never would be. For example, when I was crippled the
doctor wanted to cut off my leg. He said that it would
never be any good to me. He kept after us for l'.!i long
time, but I never would consent to it. I felt that I would
never be any good without a leg."
57. "And Dad never felt there was anything the matter
with me." (All through this sequence from 51 on Irving
is exploring the past and piling up a mass of incidents
whose collective effect would seem to explain the de-
velopment of the feeling of fear of rejection, fear of
failure, of osti'acism, etc., quite adequately.)
58. "And yet I don't know why this fea; should haye
developed. There must be some one incident that would
explain the whole thing. I must find out why! I feel that
there is an unknown area inside methat I must find out
about." (Although-to the outsider-the explanation of
Irving's fear seems rather well implied in the events
that he has enumerated, Irving himself is not y'e t able
to rest satisfied. This is a good example of the fact that
it is th~ client who must devel~p insight and not the
counselor.)
59. Tells of more incidents thatmay have be_a ring on his
feeling. Once hit a boy with his crutch. The boy had
teased him until he lost his temper. Irving hit him and
knocked him flat. Then he was extremely frightened
-," I
that he had hurt him.
60. "And when I was younger I always used to daydream
of being a courageous hero."
84
. ,,,
--:- -,..-- - ~--- ~ - __ .,.
. The Counseling Process in Actioi;,
61. "When the war began I wasn't worried about being
killed-I was only frightened of being maimed." (Still
be continues to search for one eve:g,t that would explain
the whole situation.) .
6~. "And yet I have always had the feeling that things
will work out for the best. Of all the possibilities, it
seems that the one happens which works out for the
best. I guess it is just a chain of circumstances-of
accidents. For example, I never worried about being
broke. 01)n walking in traffic I'd try to see how close
'\j I could come to-missl.ng cars. I got so I could ~iss them
-1: by three inches; Maybe I was try~ng to prove to my-
!1 self that I wasn't afraid." Goes o~ to tell other inci-
'i1 dents. "I can remember the fear plainly-but I don't
: 1- know why yet." (It is interesting to note that he still
feels that the good things that happen to him have just
been ac.cidents-that his abilities have played no part
in them. Apparently he has not yet reached a full
.enough acceptance of the -problem . to eliminate the
-i fear.)
68. "There seems to be something there that I'm trying to
get at, but I'm avoiding it. I can't conceive of what it
would be." .
64. More incidents. ~'I can't remember the time on crutches
as unhappy. There were inconveniences and dis-
comforts, yes, but I can't remember it as unpleasant.
.65; "I read Freud about five or six years ago. I wanted to
understand myself. I can remember only one word,
'Narcissus.' I don't even r~member what it means
., I
any more."
66. "Maybe I want to know myself too much.'' '(Finally,
: Irving is beginning to take the last step in self-unde~-
i .
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Counseling with Returned SetVicemen
standing. As long as he feels that there is some one
incident that will unravel the whole problem, he is
justified in avoiding any direct responsibility for doing
something about his situation. To continue searching
for some one experience is his way of a voiding doing
anything about the situ'a tion-making his own deci-
sions and carrying them out.)
67. "There was always the fear of incompetence--even
though I know I could handle a situation. It's not fear
of social disapproval, yet there is a tightening in my
stomach that slows me down. For example, when I was .
married my knee started shaking. So I held it against
my other leg to stop :it. And then .my head began to
jerk. So I relaxed my legs and let my knee jerk."
68. "I know that I can do well, and yet I feel that I can't."
(Although all the parts that are needed for the final
insight have already been exposed, Irving is not yet
ready to act upon that insight ahd so he cannot fit
them toge~her into the completed pattern that will
indicate self-understanding.)
Seventh Conference: Sept. 16 (2-day interval)
69. "I can't say 'no' to anybody. Even if I don't like it,
I can't hurt ~nybody . "
70. "This business of the past. I've been trying to figure
out why I have developed :this fear-I get the general
development, 'hut I feel that I ought to find some
specific event. Maybe nothing is really there, and yet
if I don't :find some cause I won't make much change."
(Here Irving states the real reason behind his search
for some cause that would e:Xplain the whole situation.
As long as his search goes unrewarded, he will not have
86
The Counseling Process in Action
. to change. And, as he dimly i'ecognized, the search is
,J '
.I
,:, I bound to go unrewarded.)
71. "I looked up that word I remembered from Freud.
'Narcissus' has to do with preoccupation with oneself.
It must be significant that I remembered that. It cer-
tainly applies to me."
72. "I tried to instill an inferiority complex in.myself as an
excuse." (Repetition of the previous insight in different
terms.)
.i
I
73. "I recognize that I want others to take the initiative.
,i
I saw it when 'I asked you for advice just now. I wanted
you to take the initiative." (Irving refers to the fact
that he had asked the counselor a direct question to
which the counselor responded, "You would ljke ine
to tell you what to do." Irving recognizes that he
was merely trying to place the responsibility on to the
counselor instead of making up his own mind.)
74. He begins to describe what he is going to do to get
Mary's mother to stop hurting her feelings. "She keeps
writing that she hopes we aie not going to have a b!l-bY
and joking that Mary ought to kill it. But she ought
to bow that it just makes things worse since we are
going to_have one anyway. I'm going home this week-
end on a thr~e.:day pass and I'm going to talk it over
with her-straightforwar&-and tell her how unhappy
it makes Mary." (Apparently Irving has finally ac-
,I , cepted the fact that he i:nust acknowledge his role as a
I prospective father and cease denying that he can take
the responsibility for their future .life. H e riow makes
plans for definite positive steps.)
75. "Maybe this whole thing is that I'm afraid of respon-
sibility." He goes on to tell of various excuses he has
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Counseling with Returned Servicemen
given to convince himself that his school work couldn't
be expected to be any better. "And I guess that the
reason I tried so hard to discover some trauma that
caused my fear was that I was just stalling for time. I
know there was nothing there now, but I wasn't ready
to face the fact that I was through here and it was up
to me."
76. "Well, I guess that's all. I don't think I'll need any
more conferences. I've got things straightened out now.
Let me sum it up for myself. Basically, I want to take
the responsibility fo1; myself-I want to make my own
decisions, to be clear-cut and definite. But I've been:
afraid of being wrong or humiliated if I do anything.
Consequently, I have held down any motivation so
that I won't have to act. And in keeping down this
motivation I developed a number of dodges to keep
myself from accepting the responsibility. For example,
this feeling of inferiority, this don't-care attitude, this
excuse of laziness, of no motivation, etc. . . . This is
queer. Since I was going home today I didn't really
feel that I would have much to talk about. I d-i dn't
tnk I would get much good out of a conference to\fay,
but now everything makes so much sense that I don't
think I'll need to come' back any more. I don't know
that my present situation is any better-of course,
there's nothing you could do about that. But at least
I feel that I can handle things now." (Irving has fi~ally
reached a working insight in his last conference. He
has made some plans for future action-although
relatively minor ones. He has gained enough confidence -
to cut himself loose from whatever support he may have
gained in the counseling relationship.)
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The Counaeling Process in Action
1 _,
This case shows a rich development of'insight. We cannot
be sure pf the extent to which Private Savrensky will carry
over his new understandings into behavior. His situation
in the army may make it difficult for him to put into execu-
tion any far-reaching set of actions.' Yet experience with
many similar cases makes it realistic to predict that his
behavior in relation to his wife and in regatd to his own
responsibilities will undergo a definite change in the direc-
tion of maturity because of this counseling experience.
:i
This example particularly illustrates the fact that insights
are gained by the client himself working in his own fashion
and that there are no short cuts. The essential problem
of counseling is not how the counselor can communicate
self-understanding to the client, but rather how to create
an atmosphere in which the client can work out his own
understanding. Insight that will carry over into behavior
comes abdt1t when the client is given the opportunity to
understand what he is experiencing at the very time he
experiences it, and this is the purpose of the nondirective
technique of counseling.
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Chapter Seven
EDUCATIONAL AND VOCATIONAL
COUNSELING WITH THE SERVICEMAN
LOGICALLY, THERE IS NO JUSTIFICATION
for a separate discussion of the field of educational and
vocational problems in relation to nondirective counseling.
Whether the client begins by stating that he lacks self-
. I
confidence, is having . trouble with his wife, is fearful of
. ''
going insane, is inadequate sexually, cannot decide
whether to go to college, or does not know what sort of
occupation he is best fitted for, the . goal of counseling
should be the same. The counselor, in any case, should be
interested in the person and not just in the initial problem.
Rat~er :than merely devoting his efforts to eliminating the
mamfest problems that the client ha$ stated, the counselor
attempts to provide an environment in which the client can
grow to increased self-understanding. This being the case,
there is no essential difference in procedure between coun-
s~ling personal problems and counselinf;S' so-called educa-
tional and vocational difficulties. For the nondirective
counselor, educational and vocational difficulties are
personal problems. However, since educational and voca-
tional guidance is generally considered to be a field separate
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Educational and Vocational C~unseling
'
from other areas of counseling, it may _be well to consider
.in what way tlie nondirective viewpoint applies here.
Traditionally, educational or vocational guidance begins
with as thorough a diagnosis as possible. Extensive test
information is collected; the educational and vocational
history of the client is secured. The counselor then inter-
relates the various findings and communicates them to the
client along with iilformatfon concerning the requirements
for various jobs or schools. He may perhaps recommend or
S\:!.ggest a certain course of action for the Client to follow.
In some instances he-wm make direct contact with pros-
pective employers or colleges in order to help the client get
into the vocational or educational situation that seems the
mo~t favorable (usually to the counselor). Many counselors
i
will say, "Yes, but I always leave the final decision up to
I the client himself. I give him information about himself and
information about vo~ations or educational possibilities,
but he makes the decisions." This is_probably quite true.
Such counselors may give advice or suggestions while
stressing that the client has to make the final decision.
However, the crucial point is that the counselor's .resources
and activities have been mobilized around the in!tial prob-
lem suggested by the client. Taking tests and answering
questions about his past educational an~ vocational history
does not encourage the client to feel that he may discuss
other types of problems with the counselor. When the coun-
selor's entire attention is focused upon vocationai and
educational factors, it is not probable that the client will
feel free to discuss anything he wishes-to go into any
deeper factors that ~ay underlie the manifest problem. In
this lack of freedom lies the difficulty with the traditional
method of education31l or . vocational guidance. For if the
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 Counseli.ng with Returned Servicemen
client h~s not been able to examine and explore his feelings
and attitudes about the various relevant factors, whatever
decisions he makes will be based upon an inadequate under-
standing of himself. Detailed information about his test
performances and about vocational conditions will be in-
sufficient in helping the client to make the most satis-
factory adjustment unless he understands the relation of
such information to his own hopes, fears, strivings, and
ambitions.
The following excerpt from a first interview illustrates
the manner in which a client can make use Qf a permissive
atmosphere.
CouNSELOR: "Would you care to tell me why you came to
the Counseling Bureau?"
CLIE.NT: "Yes, ~~,I've been planning for some time to go
mto the m1mstry, and I'm taking preseminary work,
but lately I'm not so sure about it."'
COUNSELOR: "Until recently you've felt pretty sure about
your chosen vocation, but now you're wondering
whether it is the thing you really want." ' In short, information does not solve problems; it is the
CLIENT: "Yes, I've knocked around lately, and ever since
I'v~ been thinking about .teaching-I think I'd like to
te'a ch English."
COUNSELOR: "The knocking around you've taken has made
you think of other fields."
(This type of discussion continues while the client
gradually clarifies the problem to which he is seeki~g
a solution.) : career. Now that the GI Bill of Rights was making it pos-
CLIENT: "I think the thing I'm interested in is finding out
which of these fields I'm best suited for."
COUNSELOR: "The thing you think you want to know is
whether teaching or the ministry is best for you."
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Educational and Vocational Counseling
CLIENT: "Yes, if that can be done through tests. There's
another thing-I don't know whether you've got tests
for it or not. i don't seem to have any friends-at home
all the boys are gone. I've been here six months, and I
don't have a friend__:.of course, I never really had any
at home either. There must be something wrong with
a person who isn't able to niake friends with people."
! j. (Client goes on to decide that he wants to clear up
'=j
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both of these problems, if possible, and arrangements
! are made for contacts with the counselor as well -as for
"' Ii" tests.)*
This excerpt ,should make it a~parent how much hai~
the counselo~ould have done had ~e. abruptly follo';e~ the
lead about teaching versus the nnmstry by prescnbmg a
series of tests and vocational readings. Instead, by allowing
the client to see that the counselor is interested in under-
I
standing him and that any topic of discussion is acceptable,
the client is able to go into other significant problems that
face him.
' client who must do that. Consider the case of Sergeant
Munfoe. He came into a counseling service to make arrange-
ments for testing that was needed to gain admission to
college. He had dreamed., hoped, and planned s.ince child-
hood for a medical ca1:eer'. His parents had encouraged this
ambition. He had received a feeling of importance and
recognition from his friends when he spoke of his future
sible for him to come to college, he was planning to take
* Bixler, Ray H., and Virginia H. Bixler, "Clini~al Counseling in
Vocational Guidance," Journal of Clinical Psychology, vol. 1, p. 188,
July, 1945. Reprinted with the permission of the authors.
93
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 Counseling with Returned Servicemen
a premedical course of study. However, his scholastic-
aptitude test showed that he did not have the ability for
medical school. Further, his high-school 1:ecord was quite
poor-especially in science courses. Would the counselor
have fulfilled his responsibility to Sergeant Munroe by
merely telling hirri that medlcal school was out of the ques-
tions and giving him the information that supported this
conclusion? Could such information have been utilized as
long as the sergeant still firmly believed and felt .t hat he
would be happy in no other ptofession.P True, the infor-
mation was important in helping him to evaluate himself
more realistically than he had previously, but only because
the counselor allowed h~m to work through his attitudes
and feelings about the situation in the light of the new
information.
From many different sources, evidence fa a9cumulating
that the common denominator behind a person's various
problems is his personality-his values, , attitudes, and
feelings. Industrial organizations are becoming increasingly
aware that the w.orker does not leave his family affafrs
behind when he reports for work. It is clear that only by
understanding the kind of person the worker is can we
expect .to know why he reacts to his foreman as he .does,
why he feels that he deserves a raise, why he resents over-
time work on some occasions and not on others. Schools
are beginning to take into account the fact that the nature
of the interpersonal relations between teacher and pupils-
and among the pupils themselves-is u_sually more impor-
tant than the technique or teaching or the textbooks in
determining what the pupil learns. Physicians are begin-
ning to realize that, far from being irrelevant, the fears and
expectations of the patient, as well as his attitude toward
94
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Educational and Vocational Counseling
'
>1
' ' the physician, may influence the rate at which recovery
:1.
occurs. In many different areas, research workers are in-
dependently arriving at the same conclusions. It seems that
we have been so concerned with the development of new
techniques for manipulating persons that we have neglected
to ask what go~ls each person may have set for himself. In
,I fact, in many cases we prevent the person from reaching
I desirable goals because we ignore his reactions to the
.i '
techniques we use.
I
!'.,
In vocational guidance the goal is certainly not just get-
I ting the client into a. job. In educational guidance the aim
I is n ot mere(s to determine what course of study the student
! should follow. As :ln all counseling, the justification for a
conference is that it leads the client to a clearer definition
of who he is and what he is after, i.e., it gives the client
greater control over his own future actions.
The Use of Information
There is a tendency, as has been stressed earlier, for the
inexperienced counselor to assume that the basic difficulty
the client faces stems from a lack of information. However,
if a serviceman is unsure of himself, he will not develop
' ' self-confidence merely from being told that he has a high
score on some test. , if he is worried about the future, in-
formation that there are m any jobs open in his speciality
will not eliminate his fears. Information will undoubtedly
help in each of these situations, but not if it is used in an
attempt to deny the reality of the serviceman's feelings. In
.j other words, there are valuable functions that information
may fol:fill. However, the counselor must be aware that
information cannot demonstrate to the client that his fears
a~e baseless, that his lack of confidence is unjustified, that
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 Counseling with Returned Servicemen
his hope is futile, etc. Feelings are not true or false in the
same way that a statement is. Denying their reality or
proving them to be unfounded will not c:P.ange the fact that
the client feel~ that way. The client's fe~lings must be
accepted, must be recognized. However, there are at least
three main uses for information.
1. Information may be used to help clarify a choice. Fre-
quently, after a client has worked through his problem he
will reach a point where he is ready to make some decision,
but the actual choices facing him are confused and vague
owing to lack of information. In such an iI1stance, the coun-
selor can provide a useful service by presenting appro-
- priate in.formation. The veteran who wishes to change to a
new job will have his choices clarified by knowing how much
training the various jobs require, what the usual rate _of
pay is, where the best locations for such jobs are, etc. How-
-ever, when a counselor gives such information to a veteran,
he should be careful not to slant it in such a way that the
veteran is practically forced to reach a certain conclusion.
2. Information may be used to implement a decision. Let
us say that a veteran approaches a counselor in doubt as to
whether he should return to college or attempt to find a job
immediately. After he has explored the various factors
involved in making his decision (some of which may require
certain information as under point 1 above), including
various of his attitudes that are brought into play by the
problem and the meaning of the various possibilities in
terms of his own values, he may decide in favor of going
back to college. Now the question arises as to which college
will best meet his needs. At this point he can profitably
make use of information concerning various colleges. In
other words, after the decision has been made, the client
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Educational an.d Vocational Counseling
may need information that will help him in carrying
through the coarse of activity he has decided upon.
It should be noted that both of these uses of information
occur during the final stage of counseling. After the cJient
has had full opportunity to demonstrate what use he desires
to make of the counseling relationship, has freely expressed
himself on any "issues that are important to him, has
developed -a working insight, then-when decisions are in
the process of being made and implemented-the counselor
makes inf6rmation available if_the client feels that he needs '
i
1- it.
1
3. Information may be used to help the client -discover the
_real problem: In many situations, much more than infor-
mation is needed. However, the client does not always
immediately recognize this need. In such instances, the
counselor may give the information the client is demanding -
(or, better, refer to sources of information) to help him
discover that information is not enough. A typical example
_is the following: Private Hamsun came in for counseling
with the request that tests be given him to. determine what
vocation he would be best fitted for. He did not accept the
cou~selor's invitation .to talk things through a bit, but
_demanded that he be given tests that would t~ll him what
to do. An appropriate battery .of tests of interests, aptitudes,
and abilities was given. In addition, Private Hamsun was
referred to sources in the library _which gave him detailed
information about various vocations. After he had done
some reading about vocations, the test results were inter-
preted to him. Privq,te Hamsun was quite int_e rested in tl1e
information, but _when this stage was finished\ he stated
I!
that this was all ~ell and good, tl1at he had.discovered some
IO or 12. occupations that interested him, but how did he
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Counseling with Returned Servicemen
'1
decide which one would be best? How did he make up his
mind? The counselor then structured the situation in terms
of the usual counseling relationship-pointing out that
perhaps if he understood himself better he wo~ld find why
he was unable to make a decision now. It was suggested
that if Private Hamsun wished to avail himself of the oppor-
tunity the counselor would be glad to make his time avail-
able for Private Hamsun to use. The private quite willingly
agreed that perhaps that was what he wanted. The remain-
. ing conferences then were utilized by Private Hamsun for
. talking over his situation in general. He expressed quite a
. . bit of deep feeling concerning his family, their. attitudes
toward his getting married, their pressure for him to settle
in his home town, etc. As these feelings were wo1;ked
through, he came to a clearer understanding of himself and
of what he wanted to do. He also discovered that he had
been expecting to have decisions made for him because of
his basic lack of confidence in his own decisions resulting
from family pressure. When this stage was reached, he
decided to carry through an intentionhe had stated ea!lier
' -to go away from home to college. He planned a college
course that would make it possible for. him to enter a
variety of occupations that all clustered around one central
pattern of interests. It is clear that for Private Hamsun
the information served an indirect function-namely, to
demonstrate that his problem was not caused by a lack of
information. When the counselor complied with Private
Hamsun's demands and yet the probl~m seemed no nearer a
solution, it was much easier for him to make use of the
c~unseling hours in a profitable fashion. Of course, one
danger that arises in this use of information is t~at the
conferences will strengthen the client's dependence upon
98
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Educational' and Vocational Counseling
1
the counselor and increase his feeling that the counselor
,I
I can give _h im the answers. Skillful handling of the early
conferences, however, together with a clear structuring of
the relationship, will largely av<;>id this problem.
Te-st Information
Test results are subject to the same considerations that
have been mentioned for other types of information. How-
ever, because~ their pers.orial character certain additional
points need mentioning. lnfo_!'matfon such as the cost of
tuition in a given, school or the length of preparation re-
.' quired to be Classed as a skilled tool-and-di~ maker .does
- not usually arouse much emotion. However,' there are often
intense feelings ' connected with test scores. The client
probably feels that this test score will reveal how "good"
or how bright he is, how much ability he has, etc. He reels
that there are .standards against which he is being judged.
In other words, he has something personal at stake. This
emotional factor wil,l influence his reaction to _such infor-
mation. Consequently, it must be recognized that test
scores constitute a special type of information. In dealing
with them there are certain cautions that should be
considered.
1. Make sure the client knows what the test score means.
Before reporting the client's own performance to him, the
counselor should ascertain that the client knows what the
1
purpose of the test is. For example, in reporting the re-
sults of an interest inventory the client should realize that
this inventory is giving him information about his interests
I and not about his abilities. In other cases, it will be neces-
I sary to find out whether the client understands the dif-
ference between an achievement and an aptitude test, etc.
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 Counseling wi,th Returned Servicemen
Perhaps the best way to determine how the client under-
stands the test results is to see what they mean to him, to
let him tell how he understands them.
~. Information derived from testing can best be given when
it fits in with something the client has just said. Following
such a procedure not only satisfies the client's desire to
know what was discovered, but it also strengthens the rela-
tion between the, counselor and client by providing a
common basis for understanding. Further, it keeps the
responsibility for the content of the interview in the hands
of the client. Thus, a veteran may be saying that he has
never been greatly interested in mechanical activities. The
. .counselor might respond that the interest inventory indi-
cated that his interest in that area was low, but that it was
high in activities involving verbal behavior and also in
face-to-face contacts.
3. After information has been gi1,en, allow the client time
to react to it. Test results represent an objective description
of the self. Consequently, they may or may not agree with
the client's own description of himself. When test informa-
tion has been given, the~, the counselor has the oppor-
tunity of playing a very helpful role in clarifying the
servicetnan's understanding of himself. If the counselor
accepts and reflects the serviceman's feelings about the
information, the serviceman can be helped to discover what
the information really means to him, to assimilate it into
his own way of thinking, and to put it to use. Test results
sometimes evoke very significant reactions in the client-
if t:P.e counselor will refrain from imposing his own evalua-
tion of their meaning. Foi example, a serviceman may react
to unpleasant information by objecting that he does not
believe the test is accurate. (Naturally, if there is any real
100
Educational and Vocational Counseling
reason to suspect that the test was incorrectly administered,
.I it should be readministered or another similar test given.)
.I
If the test was given satisfactorily; the counselor should not
attempt to persuade him that the test is really quite reli-
able, widely used, etc. Counseling conferences are not for
the purpose of convincing clients of the value of psycho-
logical tests-nor to demonstrate how much the counselor
knows about methods of test constrction and statistics.
Instead, the counselor might respond something like this,
"You feel, then, that this test score doesn't really describe
i your abilities (or .- a:chievements, etc.)." Accepting and
I reflecting the serviceman's objections may lead him to
further self-examination as to why he cannot yet believe
that the test has given. him an accurate description of him-
self. No matter how perfectly standardized a test may be, the
test results will be of no more use than the . client can allow
i them to be. Assimilating and making use of test information
I is a problem of feelings and attitudes, and the counselor
!
should not attempt to high-pressure the _serviceman into
saying that he believes the results. Letting him proceed at
his own pace; stating his objections or approval, examining
.why he objects or approves, expressing his feelings freely,
will prove more valuable in the long run.
The following section from a counseling conference illus-
trates the significant progress that occurred when the
counselor allowed the client to explore the meaning of test
(
l information. .
. " . . . The .clien:t had expressed fear that he didn't have
the ability :to succeed. Test results were indicative of high
ability and achievement. Interest tests suggested that he
would enjoy business contacts and especially selling
j
insurance .
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 Counseling with Returned Servicemen
"He paled noticeably and said, 'That is surprising,'
paused slightly and said, 'and pleasing. That is just what
I wanted. You mean really I have abigger vocabulary than
the average ~ollege senior?'
"C: Nodded.
"'It means that I ought to be able to do what I wf,tnt to,
doesn't it?'
" C: 'Yes.'
"'I 'could go back to life insurance.' He mentioned a
number of positive things about life insurance at this point
(staying at home and meeting people, good pay, and not
. al ways in an office).
" C: 'It all seems good and just the way you like it.'
'"Yes. Well, of course, there are some bad things.' He
then told again about the 'si:)!: months' slump' arid how he
might click at first, but fail later on, then added that there
was a fear of selling that still bothered him.
"C: 'There are lots of good things about life insurance
and there are some bad ones.'
" ' I am still scared. Right now sitting here, I know I have
the stuff, but down here (he pointed to his stomach) I am
sick and weak.'
"C:'Even though you know you can do it, it scares you
pretty badly.'
"'Yes, I suppose I just ought to start in and lick it ,by
going back to life insurance. Yes, but that six months' :fiop-
1 feel worse than when I came in today. I don't have any
excuse. It is almost as if the tests gave me the wrong answer.
If they had been bad, I would have had an excuse for
failure. The tests take away any excuse.''
"C: ',It would have been better if they hf,td been bad
because you would have had some reason for failure then.'
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Educational and Vocational Counseling
' i
'"Yes, that is it. I have the ability, but I am more afraid
1 of it than I was. Should I stay.-and talk to you about it
until I go home or should I try to work it out?'
I I\ "c: 'your problem is how to go apout working it out.'
:
I '"Yes. I'd better come back and see you. If I had poor
scores, I would have an
~ \
excuse to be a lunkhead. .
I haven't
11 any. It would be better if I did.'
;
i
"C: 'Things would be better if you had poor scores; then
I
you could understan.d why you are a lunkhead.' ,
'"Yes.' He smiled sheepishly,_'Theyturned out wrong.'"*
'
Notice in this excerpt that the counselor refrains from
I' pointing out the meaning of the test results. Instead he
1
follows the client's expressions of feeling, thus enabling him .
to reach a deeper understanding of their significance.
'
I
~
"
J
When More Than Information ls Neeclecl
It is true that some clients need only certain very specific
,, information. Often they will be satisfied with r~ference to
ii
/j appropriate hooks or magazine sources that will tell them
what they want to know. In most cases, however, the coun-
I
selor can never be sure that this is all that is required unless
he is convinced that the client has felt free to talk about
anything he wished-whether related directly to his voca-
tional or educ~tional problems or not. Any person may 'go
to a book for information, but when he consults another .
person it is not always just pure information seeking. The
' meaning of the personal relationship must be assessed.
I
What use is the client attempting to make of his relatio~-
* Bixler, R~y H., and Virginia H . Bixler, " Clinical Counseli,ng in
Vocattonal Guidance," Journal of Clinical Psychology, vol. 1, p. 191,
I .1 July, 1945. Reprinted with the permission of the authors.
I 103
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Counseling with Returned Servicemen
ship with the counselor? Perhaps he wants reassurance on
a course of action he has chosen; perhaps he is afraid to
make a decision by himself; perhaps he wants someone to
side in with him against his parents' wishes. The point is
that consulting another person for information is a much
different action from consulting a book. The counselor
should be alert for signs that the person really wants some-
thing more than information from the counseling relation.
There a1'e many indicators that the basic problem is not
the vocational or educational one pre:':ented. Three such
signs will be mentioned here. In the course of training, the
counselor will develop skill in respondin'g to these and other
indicators.
1. The Person Who Wants Decisions Made for Him.
A client of this sort has no idea what he would like to do.
He wants the counselor to give him some tests and lay out
a course of action. He states his problems and asks what to
do about them. Continually he requests of the counselor,
"What do you think of that?'', "Was I wrong in doing
that?'', "What would you suggest?". In such situations .
the basic problem is more probably the fact that the client
cannot make up his own mind, the fact that he wants some-
one else to take the responsibility for the decision. Are there
pressures on hiin that make it impossible for him to reach
a course of action because any decisions would involve him
in an unpleasant choice? Is the difficulty a basic lack of
security and self-confidence? Such clients are usually after
more than information. Following the viewpoint of this
manual will usually demonstrate that the statement of a
vocational or educational problem i:eally dfoguises a deeper
personal problem that must be handled before any reai
progress can be made on: the ma nifest difficulty.
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Educational and V. ocational Counseling
:I
I
2. The Person Who Wants Continually More Informa-
tion. Another tip-off that the basic problem is deeper than
I!
the vocational or educational difficulty stated is given when
I;l the cllent is never satisfied with any information he re-
11
! ceives>-He always wants more. This suggests that for some
I
I' reason he is attempting to postpone making a definite
!
decision. To the client, his request for additional informa-
tion will seem perfectly justified and logical. Yet, it is a
truism that life ' involves a certain amount of gamble or
risk on any choice. There will never be enough information
about a future course of action to make a 100 per cent
perfect prediction possible. The person who requires com-
plete certainty on every issue is probably a person who is
afraid of life and himself. And so the issue in such cases
becomes, why does he continually want more information? .
What is the meaning of making a definite decision? What
does the client have at stake? More and more information
will have little. effect upon a problem of this type as long
as the client cannot utilize the information that he has.
I
S. The Person Who Manifests An~iety about the Future.
I
Clients of this type are more clearly in need of attitudinal
./ .treatment than they are of information. They must be
given a free situation in which to express their anxiety,
J .
fears, and worries. When the . client . has worked through
! his anxiety about the future and has developed insight, he
will be able to make use of information. But to give factual
info1;mation as the major form of ti'eatment is to leave the
basic difficulty untouched.
Obviously, there are many other situations in which
problems appearing as vocational or educational turn upon
personal factors. If the counselor succeeds in helping the
client to experience the full meaning of a permissive atmos-
105
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Counseling with Returned Servicemen I
I
phere, he will develop skill in assessing the role of infor-
mation in any particular case. Chapter Eight
The main addition, then, in using nondirective counseling ----
in vocational and educational guidance is the development
of the ability on the part of the counselor to determine w:hen MARITAL AND FAMILY COUNSELING
the use of tests and other 'sources of information constitutes
a legitimate and helpful tool and when, on the other hand,
'\
it would result in superficial treatment of symptoms, leaving
the basic personal difficulty untouched.

:--
'' FRIENDLY AND UNDERSTANDING iN-
i
/I dividual who comes in contact with servicemen or their wives
is certain to be consulted on problems of marital difficulty.
The problem~ .are many and varied. Because of the long
separation, wives come to doubt the faithfulness of their
husbands, and servicemen i;;imitarly are . 9.oubtful of their
wives. A man home on furlough finds to his distress that
he and his wife are constantly quarreling. In another case,
in-laws create problems for the new _partnership. A dis-
'i illusioned couple .is contemplating . divorce. A man from
. overseas finds his wife well established in a career, earning
more th.a n he is likely to make, and is hurt and unhappy
about the situation. A ..returned serviceman is distressed
because his chiid resents him as a stranger. The .list could
be lengthened almost indefinitely, since wartime circum-
stances are not, in general, kind to marriages, an~ many
are ~he difficulties that develop.
N o'where is the importance <?f the basic principles of
client-centered co~nseling so clearly evident as in dealing
with these marital tangles. The solution to such complex
situations must be one that . is actually accepted and
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 Counseling with Returned Servicemen
adopted by the client, or it cannot possibly last. Where a
marriage partner is deciding whether to get a divo~ce or to
undertake the slow and difficult task of rebuilding a strained
marriage, the decision must be his own, if he is to live with
it, and not a decision that has been foisted upon him.
Furthermore, a traditional diagnosing type of approach is
not feasible since the counselor frequently is dealing with
only one partner, with no real opportunity of determining
the objective facts in regard to the other partner.
In one sense then, no separate chapter is needed to
discuss counseling of marital problems. The principles to
. . be applied, the techniques to be practiced, and the re-
straints that the counselor should exercise have been
discussed in earlier chapters, and they need but to be under-
scored here. There are, however, some situations arising in
marital counseling in which the worker may not see how
such principles are to be applied, and these special aspects
deserve consideration.
When the Problem Is the Partner's Fault
Not infrequently the spouse who turns to a counselor for
help seems to be the better adjusted of the pair. A wife
whose :conduct has been blameless comes for help becat~se
of her unfaithful hu~band . A calm and self-possessed soldier
wishes counsel in regard to his nagging and neurotic wife.
The counselor tends to feel uncertain as to what . to do
because he seems to .be dealing with "the wrong per~on."
Considerable experience indicates that the place to begin
counseling is with the person who feels a concern about the
problem. In such a marital situation, it is not necessarily
the "problem" partner with whom we should deal, but
the person who is . dissatisfied and willing to work on the
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Marital and Family Counseling
I
problem. Any person who finds himself in an unsatis-
factory m.arital relationship will be able, with counseling
1 ;
" assistance, to do something to improve the relationship. As
in all other counseling, we begin with the Pl:'.rson who has
a discoverable concern about the situation.
Not infrequently a wife will come to the counselor in
order to ask if she may send her "problem " :husband to be
counseled. The worker will be wise to indicate that if her
husband really wishes help he will be welcome, but that
otherwise she might get furth~r by exploring the situation
herself.
It is easy to identify oneself with the "inn~cent" party in
a marital situation, and the counselor should carefully avoid
any .such pitfall. Antagonism and blame that are heaped
on the spouse should be fully accepted and reflected("You
'
1 ' :
feel he is very definitely the one at fault," "She seems to
'I you to be wrecking your marriage," etc.), but the counselor
should completely refrain'from evaluating the other partner.
i
I. Such responses as, "He surely has mistreated you," or "I
i
should think you would be unhappy With her," are almost
certain to do harm to the counseling,. as are the attitudes
that lie behind these remarks.
The reason is not far to seek. Often the "blameless" client
is not entirely blameless. If the counselor has identified him-
self. with this client as an.innocent party, it makes it doubly
difficult to bring out attitudes and information that con-
tradict this picture. Thus the charming young wife of a
coast guardsman described her husband as an inhibited,
reserved, thoughtless individual, so lacking in spontanei.t y
and warmth that any reasonable marital relationship would
l
I . seem impossible. But as these criticisms were accepted,
she finally struggled to bring out the other side of the pic-
. ;1
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ture, which she had deeply repressed. Although in most
groups she was happy and spontaneous, with her husband
she was ill at ease, artificially gay or unduly silent, and all
because she labored under the continual fear that some-
thing she might say or do would reveal some of her own
earlier indiscretions, of which he was unaware. If the coun-
selor had sided with her at the outset, she could never have
gain~d the courage to discuss her own part in the situation
an.cl her own feelings of guilt. As she saw these aspect~, she
was able to alter her own behavior very helpfully.
Even where the innocent party has had little to do with
causing the problem, the counselor will do wpll to remember
that he is quite unable to lift the burden of the difficulty
from the client's shoulders. He is most helpful if he con-
centrates on assisting the client to clarify his own relation- .
ship to a situation that no third party can solve for
him.
Dealing with Husband ancl .Wife
I .
For the beginning counselor, the technical problems are
undoubtedly simpler, and success is more likely, if the
- counseling relationship is with one partner only. The hus-
band . (or wife, as the case may be) can then make use of
counseling to explore, understand, and rebuild his own
attitudes and behavior in marriage ~nd thus handle those
aspects for which he is responsible.
When both partners come in together to consult the
counselor, it is usually best to listen to the preliminary
statement of the problem and then to make arrangements
to see each individual separately. If the matter is handled
in this way the counselor should keep the two counseling
110
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Marital and Family Counseling
relationships psychologically separate. The husband should
not be informed of the wife's statements, or vice versa. Even
.J
I
more impo~taiit, the counselor should avoid, just as jar as
possible, developing a mind-set or a diagnosis or conclusion
I about the situation. To the extent that he does formulate
a diagnosis, he will find it very difficult to accept and
recognize attitudes that are not in line with his precon-
.i ceived conclusion. This counseling of both husband and
wife demands an even greater degree of self-restraint on
the part of the counselor than. is demanded in other coun-
seling, if he is to remain open-minded and genuinely accept-
I
ing toward very diverse attitudes held by the two partners.
\1 T.o listen to the wife explain .how she has striven to be
economical and thrifty, and on another occasion to hear the
husband relate that his wife is a thoughtless spender of
his hard-earned wages, and to reflect both these attitudes
wi.t h understanding is a difficult task for the counselor. As
the contacts continue, it will be found that there is less
contradiction as husband and wife become free enough to
g!ve more of the real picture, rather th~n a defensive
one.
. There may be some situations where circumstances
demand that the two partners be interviewed together ~ .It
appears possible, from some of the research being .donein
group therapy, that by being a nonjudgmental individual,
and by reflecting the attitudes expressed, no matter how
' \
contradictory, counseling of two people at the same time
may make progress. By helping each to clarify his own
attitudes, those for wp.ich he is responsible, a means , of
adjustment may be discovered. There is not as yet enough
experience to justify a discussion of this point, and it
' 111
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Counseling with Returned Servicemen
demands a degree of skill which the beginning counselor
may not possess. Consequently, whenever possible, the
husband and wife should be seen separately.
The Giving of lnf~rmation
In dealing with marital situations, it may at tilnes be
lI
found that the client is in need of information in regard to
divorce laws, management of family finance, sexual adjust-
, ment, child rearing, or some other topic. The counselor may
wish to give this information verbally or to refer the client
to other sources, whether individuals or books. One :major
point needs to be borne in mind-the information is to be
given neutrally, in such a way that the client may use it or
disregard it as he sees fit. It is very easy to assume that we
are only giving information when we are, in effect, telling
the client, "This is what you should do."
A youu'g couple, married several months, came fen' assist-
ance because they had never been able to consummate their
marriage. The young woman had been strongly conditioned
against everything sexual by a neurotic and abnormal
mother and now found that although she would like to
please and satisfy her husband she could not do so '. Two
medi~al examinations gave conflicting reports as to whether
there was any organic ~eason for the vaginal contraction
that prevented intercourse. The counselor in this situation
selected a book that stressed t_h e normal place of sex adjust-
ment in marriage and offered it to the wife. This informa-
tion did not of course solve her problem, since she still had
to work out her own attitude towar:d sexual matters. It is
probable that it was an aid to her in learning some of the
facts that her early life had kept from her. Essential
- progress came however when she made the decision that
11~
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Marital and Family Counseling
she could live a different life from that of her mother and
could set her own goals and choose her own values. She was
then able to achieve a reasonably satisfactory sexual
adjustment. '
This case illustrates the place of information in the coun-
seling process. It should be plainly recognized that facts
I or information rarely provide any answer to a marital
problem. Even when the needed facts are given, there still
remains for the client the task of relating himself, in some
responsible fashion, to th~se facts. This is the field of
.\ counseling.
Some General Consiclerations
Because marital problems are so varied, because they
deal so obviously with human interrelationships and not
merely with conflict in one individual, because they are so
closely tied to conventional and moral and religious issues,
there is some tendency for counselors to feel that they
demand a different type of handlin15 from other problems.
In order to counteract this tende1!-CY it may be well to
reemphasize two basic points.
i.
1. Counseling deals with attitudes, not with situations.
Counseling does not directly affect the external facts of
the case--the unfaithful spouse, the .unreasonable mother-
ih-law, the :financial stress in the home.
~. Counseling can help the individual to delve more
deeply 'a nd more realistically into all the attitudes he holds
toward his situation. Through this exploration the client
may come to understand his own relationshjp to the situa-
tion more clearly, to view it without the defensiveness that
has previously clouaed his perception. Out of this truer
perception he can develop new and more mature and more
113
 Counseling with Returned Servic(}men
positive ways or relating himself to the reality with which
he is faced.
These basic points apply to..marital counseling as to any
other. They help to explain why the counselor is able to do
his best job if he focuses his. attention and his skill solely
upon the emotionalized attitudes of the marital partner
I
who comes to him, and regards this as his area of effort,
rather than "miss.i ng the boat" by focusing on the prob-
lem as it exists apart from the client's attitudes.
In closing, a brief account of one case m:lght be given. A
young wife, aged twenty, was urged by a friend to come to
a counselor. She was defensive and suspicious at first but
. .gradually related her situation. She married asailoi a year
previously, after having known him a few weeks ..He was
''shipped out" one week after the ]llarriage. Now he had
returned for a 60-day leave, and the two had fought and
argued almost continuously and parted on a very antago-
nistic basis. She was unhappy about this and was thinking
of getting a divorce and giving up her job. She placed all
the blame on the man. "He's just unreasonable about
everything." "He expects me to give up things for marriage.
I won't sacrifice anything I've gained." "It was just a
foolish : whim, getting married. I never thought about it
being permanent. We should break it up." "I think-of
course it sounds funny to say this-I think I'm really better
than he is." Although her attitudes might he evaluated as
being very self-centered and immature, the counselor
refrained from any such evaluation and accepted and
mirrored the sentiments expressed.
In the second interview she expressed more of the same
viewpoint, but aso went deeper. She decided, "Maybe I'm
kinda selfish." She talked about her earlier insecure experi-
114
Marital and Family Counseling
erice--.,--a product of a broken home, "farmed out" to rela-
tives, developing gradually the feeling that you "grabbed
onto everything you could get, and hung on to it." She
realized that this wa~ the reason why she could not be
generous to others or sacrifice anything for the sake of her
marriage. She also discussed her husband in very different
terms, saying that while he had faults she had always felt
he was very genuine and that she had more in common with
him than with any other man she had known. She felt
perhaps she was just bragging to say she was better than
he. As the intervfew drew to a close she said, "Maybe it
would help if I' just grew up," to which the counselor re..:
plied, "You're beginning to. feel that perhaps you could do
something about your marriage."
The third interview was brief. She. began by saying that
things were so much better and her mind was clear as to
what she wanted to do. She had tried being generous and
thoughtful toward two of her friends and found to her
surprise that it worked. They did not take advantage of
her generosity, and she felt much better within herself.
She spoke of her marriage with. a totally new emphasis.
"I've decided I'm going to give marriage a try. I've never
really done that. We may not be able to make a go of it, but
I'm certainly not going to give him. up and give up our
marriage without really working at it." All thought of
giving up her job had dropped out of the discussion. (Actu-
ally her supervisor, who knew nothing of the counseling,
mentioned the fact that her work had improved so sud-
denly that he could not account for .it and wondered what
had happened to her.)
Here, very briefly, is the whole process of counseling-
from defensive statement of problem to real statement of
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Counseling with Returned Servicemen

problem--:from defensive concept of self to accurate self- Chapter Nine

insight-from confusion and inability to do anything con.:.
structive about the situation to an integrated and more
mature purpose toward which the first steps have already THJJ; USE OF THE CASUAL CONTACT
been taken. We cannot be sure that she will be successful
in holding her marriage together. It is certain however that
her efforts will be more constructive, more realistic, and
more mature.

I N .A- NUMBER OF WARTIME SETTINGS THER:

is little opportunity for formally organized counseling,
yet there are many casual contacts with servicemen and
servicewomen in which problems are often revealed. Par-
ticularly is this true of workers in USO clubs or 'service
clubs, counselors in industry, teachers who are in contact
II with servicemen, and religious workers. Can any help be
1 given through these unplanned and often brief interviews?
I. It will be our purpose in this chapter to consider this
question.

A limited Goal
The casual contact is used most satisfactorily if the coun-
selor is willing to adopt a limited goal. A man's life is not
going to be reoriented nor a long Standing problem solved
in a . 15~minute interview in a USO lounge. Yet the ~ervice
man mayfind himself better able to meet his situation if
the 15' minutes is well used.
Essentially, the casual interview can supply three highly
!
I important elements of helpfulness. It may provide for
l emotional release-the unburdening of tensions, the talking
1
I , out of pent..,up feelings, the satisfaction of getting emo
116 .1
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 Counselin~,_, 1/)ith Returned Servicemen
. .
tionally charged attitudes out in the open, the- experience
of "getting this off my chest," as the men say. In the second
place it provides the individual with the opportunity to
l,ook more clearly at his situation, and a problem more
clearly faced is on its way to solution. Because of the
experience of emotional release, the serviceman is less
tense, his thinking is less di'.storted, more objective. He sees
his problem in more accurate perspective. He may not leave
with the solution to his situation, but he leaves with a
armer grasp of the real essentials of his difficulty. In the
third place such an interview, though casual in its origin,
may lead to further contacts, definitely' planned, where the
individual goes more deeply into his problems, either with
this counselor or with some other counselor to whom he
has been referred.
The13e are the positive goals of what someone has called
''counseling on the hoof." How may they be achieved?
What procedures will be helpful to the counselor, and what
should he a void?
The rules are relatively simple. The counselor shoU:ld
first of all make himself psychologically accessible through
warm .Personal interest, friendly social conversation, and
a readiness to listen. In this way he makes it easy for the
man with whom he is in contact to discuss problems if he
so desires. In a great many instances no problems will be
brought out, and the contact begins and ends as a' friendly
social chat. The counselor should avoid questioning and
probing. It is not the counselor's function t~ "dig u:p"' prob-
lems, but simply to be available if problems are present.
.)
He reduces as far as possible any psychological barriers
between himself and his client, so he may be regarded by
the serviceman as "a guy to whom I can talk." , .
118 .
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j i.
;..r, 1
In the second place the counselor is alert for any evi-
dence of deeply . emotionalized attitudes, and if such do
crop up in the conversation, he immediately drops the give
and take of social conversation and utilize~ counseling
prbcedures instead. When a serviceman who has been talk-
ing about his horn~ town begins to rail at the civilians, the
-counselor reflects his attitude. When the merchant seaman
who has been describing his plans for his leave says "but
I won't go home if it's the last place on earth," the coun-
selbr responds, "You're really on the outs with your home."
Such responses show an understanding that permits the
man to c_o ntinue if he desires and, at the same time, avoid
! any probing or digging whichth~ man would resent.
! Perhaps the best way of indicating sound procedures in
I casual counseling is to cite an example from a USO club in
I
.which excellent handling provided genuine help for a sailor
Ii who was much upset. The description of the situation and
I
the conversation are based on the counselor's notes.
A USO worker g~adually became aware of the fact that
a sailo~ had come intb the club several times during the day,
~hat he kept to himself and seemed unhappy and restless.
The worker went over to the boy and said, "I'm going to
have a coke ~ Would you care to join me?" The boy accepted.
The cokes were obtained, and the two sat down in a corner
of the lobby. The worker noticing the service ribbon on the
boy's juniper commented on the fact that more and more
men from the South Pi:i,cific were coming into the club and
remarked that he had enjoyed getting to know so~e of
them. He told of one o~ two of the men with whom he had
I
been acquainted. The sailor responded with brief comments~
1 but it was obvious that his mind was elsewhere. There was
a long silence as the two sat sipping their cokes. Fina!ly
119
Counseling with Returned Servicemen
the sailor blurted out the remark that begins the following
conversation.
1. SAILOR: "I wish I knew how to pray!" (Spoken sud-
denly with a good deal of emotion. The remark had no
reference to the conversation that pr~ceded the silence.)
. WoRKER: (After a pause in which he was trying to
adjust to this new conversational turn) "Do you want
to tell me some more about that?"
3. SA.ILOR : "I'm all in a mess. I can't sleep. Last night I
walked the streets mo.st of the night in a pouring rain.
I haven't been able to sleep all the time I've been on
leave. I was home for awhile, and I couldn't even talk
to my folks there. You see, my buddy was killed, and I
just can't get over it."
4. WORKER: "That's been a pretty upsetting blow to
you. "
5. SAILOR: "Well, it has. You see, my buddy was my only
real friend-I don't ~ake friends easily, never have
had very many-and he and I always stuck together.
(Tells how they met each ot.h er and some of the things
they had been through. Worker makes no comments.
Merely responds, "I see," "Oh yes," etc.) We worked
on- the same gun crew, and .,,;e knew each other so well
we never had to tell each other what to' do. w~ could
just signal by the way we looked. In this particular
scrap the Jap planes were coming over plenty. It was
prettr hot. The ammunition box was getting empty,
and I just glanced at rriy buddy. He knew what I
meant, and he went to get another box. While he was
doing that a shell exploded right near him and killed
him. (Pause.) I just can't get over it. I feel-I feel as
though I caused his death."
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Xhe Use of the Casual Contact
6. WoRKER: "You feel that s9mehow you're to blame for
the fact that he was killed."
7. SAILOR: "Yes, I do. I don't see why I should. I couldn't
know that he would be hit when he went for the box,
but s.till r feel as though it were my fault."
8. WoRKER: ")'.'ou don't think you should feel to blame
but you do."
' 9. SAILOR: "Yes, I do. (Paus~.) I don't see why. (Long
pause.) Well, there's one thing I haven't mentioned.
Maybe that has something to do with it. My buddy
and I, we gof afon:g swell. We hardly ever quarreled,
but just the day before this all happened we had quite
an argument. (He i:elated the details of the argument.)
We really got sore at each other~ I wouldn't even speak
to him for several hours afterwarU. You know I think
that does have something to do with it. I guess maybe
that quarrel makes me.feel that I am to blame for what
happened."
10. WORKER: "You feel that your being angry at him in
some way was responsible for killing him."
11. SAILOR: "You know, I think that's it. I haven't thought
that through before. Maybe I was scared to think it
through. Somehow it helps to talk .about things like
this. You see, I didn't usu.a lly quarrel with my buddy,
and lguess jt hit ine pretty hard to think that we had
an argument just the day before he was killed. It
doesn't seem so 'b ad when you tell about it. He was
really a great guy." (He goes on to talk at some length
about his buddy and his buddy's accomplfahments and
the good relationship they had had together. The con-
versation then turned irito other channels, and he
talked about his own familY: and again mentions the
.,) . l~l
I
......
I.-
I
J;
:) .
.i.

Counseling withReturned Servicemen
fact that he had been very upset while home on leave.)
"I don't know what you've done, sir, but this has sure
helped me a lot. I don't see why I felt so much to blame
as I did."
rn. WoRKER: "It seems to have helped to get it off your
chest. Is that it?"
13. BAILOR: "It sure has. I wonder, sir, if it would be asking
too much if I could .write to you if I ever feel this way
again. I'm probably shipping out pretty quick so . I
don't think rnhave a chance to see you again, but may- '
be I could write you a letter." _ I
14. WORKER: "I'd be delighted to get a letter 'from you .
even if you're not feeling upset. I hope you will write
to me."
15. SAILOR: "Well, thanks a lot for talking with me. I've
got to go now but you may be hearing from me."
This was the only interview contact with this boy,
although later the worker received several letters from him.
In each one he expressed again the relief and satisfaction
he had felt from the conversation in the club. His letters were
chatty, personal ones, ~nd he did not aga'in express concern
ove~ feeling guilty about his friend's death though he did
mention the fact that he greatly missed his buddy's
companionship.
Several points may he noted about this interview. The
worker at the outset offered the boy friendliness, but com-
pletely respected the boy's 1 possible desire to keep to him-
self. The worker offered a "coke," and offered comments,
and showed an interest, but at no time did he in any way
force himself upon the boy. The incident would have been
likely to have had a very different ending if the worker had
said, "What seems to be the matter? ls something wrong?"
I~~
, ...
I;_
The Use of the Casual .Contact
Once the boy had expressed an emotionalized attitude,
the worker used a 'nondirective.lead, reflection of attitudes,
and simple acceptance to enable the boy to use the situation
as. deeply as he wished. Although the worker had entered
Ii actively i:Ilto the preceding social conversation, he imme-
diately became a nonevaluating, receptive individual as
I soon as deep emotion was expressed and limited himself to
I this catalytic.function.
,\ \ This brief fragment is of further interest because the
counselor might so easily gave . been tempted to play a
directive . or couns-elor-centered role which would almost
!
certainly have been less helpful.
At 2 the counselor might easily have been tempted to
I gi':e religious instruction, which in all likelihood wquld ha'Ze
I meant that the real problem would never have been re-
vealed. At 4 the worker might have identified with the boy,
I
I offered sympathy, possibly told of similar grief he had him-
1 self experienced. This would certainly have delayed and
I possibly prevented discussion of the deeper levels of the
problem. At 6 many counselors would have been unable to
refrain from reassurance. Yet the more strongly the boy .
r was reassured of his blamelessness, the inore certain we may
be that he would have been unable to tell of the attitudes
that made him feel guilty, the attitudes he describes in 9.
In short, this brief interview illustrates the basic justi-
fication for client-centered counseling as well as a much
longer case might do. Once the various attitudes with which
the individuai has surrounded his problem are brought fully
I. into consciousness-when it is no longer necessary to be
I defensive and to deny the existence of some of these atti-
tudes-then the individual has the capacity to adjust to
ms
Counseling with Returned Servicemen

the reality situation. The "problem," which as it is being Chapter Ten

unfolded seems to demand instruction, reassurance, inter-
pretation, explanation, sympathy, actually proves to need ~
.!,,..

none of these procedures. It becomes, in the light of more !

PRACTICE IN COUNSELING
comP,lete self-understanding, a manageable reality, and no
longer a "problem" at all.

.!

N ~~~ING CAN DUPLICATE IN . TRAINING

value a supervised counseling interview. Although this fact
is recognized, it has'been found with numerous groups that
" preparation for ' counseling can be improved through prac-
. i
; .
tice gained on a paper-and-pencil basis. The materials that
' . follow are, in a sense, a "slow-motion movie" of a. counsel..,
ing interview. 'l'he counselor has more time to think about
the client material, more time to formulate his response,
atid an opportunity to compare his statement with the
response act~ally made by the counselor. This material
deserves and will repay careful study and practice and will
develop the skills needed for real-life counseling situations.
The general instructions for working on the several inter-
._ view excerpts below are as follows: Cover with a piece of
paper all the unread portion of the material, uncoverig
one client statement at a time. After you have read the
client's statement, write out the response you would make,
numbering it for 'Jater easy identification. After you have
completed all the re~ponses for one interview excerpt, com-
pare your responses With those given at the end of the
excerpt, and go. back over the material to see where and in
what way yo~ have made mistakes. The, different excerpts
124 Ht.5

i
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Counseling with Returned Servicemen
give practice in meeting a number of the common problems
that occur in counseling.
THE COMBAT J\iAN
A USO worker is in his office next to the snack bar when
a soldier wearing several overseas ribbons puts his head in
the door and begins the following conversation. The worker,
during the first outburst, waves him to a chah-. ~rite
down the response you would make to each of the man's
statements.
1. SOLDIER: "Why isn't there anybody here at .the coun-
ter? Jeesiz, I come in and want to park my coat and
there's no one at the checkroom. I want to get a coke,
and there's no one at the counter! What kind of a joint
is this?"
~. COUNSELOR: - - -
3. SOLDIER: "It's just like every other place-they talk
about all they're going to do for th'e soldier, but when
you come right down to it, what does he get? He gets
it in the neck, that's all! Where are all these jobs that
were going to be waiting for us? They'1;e all held by
th~ chiselers who grabbed ;em while we were overseas.
A guy I know got himself classed as 4F and is pulling
down a nice $90 a week. And what will I get when I
get out of this army? I'll be lucky if I get $~5.
4. COUNSELOR: - - -
5. SOLDIER: "You can say that again, brother! It's t,he
same way in the army. Who are the guys that get the
promotions and get the break~? Is it the guys who do
the dirty work? Not much! It's the guy who has been
palavering the old man and yessing him . all over. the
place."
rn6
Practice in Counseling
j 6. COUNSELOR: - - -
I. . 7~ SoLDIE~: "Yeah. Nothing is much good back here.
Plenty :of times r wish . I was back overseas. There's
j
l
!,
not enough <;loing. I like more movement and action.
This is too slow and too soft back here."
l 8. COUNSELOR: -~-
9. SOLDIER: "Well, it's a letdown. When armies have
been in combat, they're hard and tough. They'd just as
1 soon kill a man as eat. That's the kind of. army I've
' been in, and that'.s the_ kind I am ~ I'm a lonely man
1' back here." - -
10 .. QoUNSELOR: . - - -
11. SOLDIER: "That's right. Of course that kind of life
makes .a man too hard. He'll be a-whadda you call it
-rehabilitation problem when he comes home. I guess
I will be, too, in a small way. It's not going to be too
easy to fit in. I went home here a while back on fur-
lough, and it was no good. There was nobody around.
They've
' forgotten me in.three years. There's no appre-
.
ciation.from anyone. It just got me all upset. I did some
of the damnedest things. A fellow I know was visiting
the~e at my home, and they were all talking. I looked
at him fol'. a while, and then I socked him in the jaw!
It wasn't right. There was no reason for it. I shouldn't
have done it, but I don't feel sorry. I should feel sorry,
, but I don't."
12. COUNSELOR: - - -
13. SOLDIER: "Well, this fellow and I used to be :keen
on the same girl, and while :Vve been gone, he's been
'i _,
making sweet talk. I don't know what was wrong with
.f
'! nie. I shouldn't have done it."
~ 14. COUNSELOR: - - -

Counseling with Returned Servicemen
15. SOLDIER: "I'd never had any job. i went to Blank
University for two years and took a course in liberal
arts. I didn't know what I wanted to do; I went from
college right into the service. I don't have any idea of
what I would do in civilian life."
16. COUNSELOR: - - -
17.
SOLDIER: ''Yes, except that I won't stay in the army.
It gets you if you stay in too long. I've seen it. It makes
men beastly and brutal and hard. I don't want to get
that hard." ,. . .
18.
19.
COUNSELOR: - - - . I,
SbLDIER: "You know, I've thought quite a lot about
all this. I think if when I get out the world treats me .
soft, I'll be soft. If it treats me hard, I'll b~: hard and
bitter. That may not be the right attitude, but that's
the way I feel."
Discussion
This is a fairly typical beginning of a casual interview
that starts around belligerent criticism. Well handled, the
client is soon dealing with some of the real .probiems
that pe is facing within himself, rather than the problem
of l?etting a coke. The counselor's responses are good, with . .
one exception which will be noted..
The responses as made by the counselor are as follows:
2. "You just feel you haven't had any service at all."
(Many workers would prefer to offer service as well. An
equally desirable response would be "I'll get you a coke.
I gather that you feel our service is pretty poor." Cer-
tainly the response should include a reflection of the
emotionalized attitude.)
ms
'. \ '
.j. Practice. in Counseling'
I 4. "You feel the soldier who comes back isn't getting,
and isn't going to get, a square deal.''
I 6. "You feel the whole system in the army and out seems
. pretty unfair to the serviceman."
/
8. ' 1 The whole experience of coming back is a good deal.of
j
.1
a disappointment to you."
.l
i.
(N umb~rs 4, 6, and 8 are v~ry good respo~ses, 8 serving
the purpose of clarifying as well as reflecting the client's
attitude. Note that in each case the response deals with
the feeling that is bejng expressed, rather than the
intellectual content.)
10. "You feel as though combat just makes you tough and
different f~om pe~'ple back' here."
12. "You just don't understand why you react in the ways
that you do, but you know you were upset."
(It is diffi,cult to respond to a long stateD;lent that con-
tains several different attitudes. The response given is
a good one, though any response that reflects some of
the attitudes expressed would be satisfactory.)
14. "What sort of work had you done before you went in?"
(Why did the counselor make this glaring error? Notice
how it completely changes the direction of the. inter-
view. It is the kind of error every counselor makes
unless he has disciplined himself in client-centered pro-
cedures. A satisfactory response at this point would have
been something like this, "YOU had some reasons for
socking him, but you feel you shouldn't have done it.")
16. "You feel pretty uncertain about what you might do."
18. "At least you're sure of some things you don't want."
(This is a sensitive response, unusually good.)
20. "You feel you're going to react in the same way you're
treated."
j
1~9
./
 . '.
Counseling with Returne~ Servicemen
;l\i.., .I ,1.
THE SAILOR'S BRIDE
Mrs . . B. was a bride .of twenty. She came to a friendly
counselor to whom shehad been referred because she was
upset and about to give up her job, simply because she could
not work in her disturbed emotional ~fate.
l. MRs. B: "It's me and my husband. He's a sailor. We
don't get along. I only knew him a week before I mar-
ried him. Then he was overseas for a year, but now he's
been home on a. SO-day leave. It just didn't work out."
~. COUNSELOR: - - -
3. MRs. B: "He still loves me, but I don't love him. I
don't think I did when I married him."
4. COUNSELOR: - - -
5. MRs. B: "He's nice in some ways. We talk together for
hours about music and things. We have quite a little in
common, but I just feel I was too young to get married.
I'd be missing something lf I stayed married. ;! want to
go around with other fellows. I'm" not ready to settle
down!" (Spoken very scornfully) "I don't know whether .
I ever will he!" .
G. COUNSELOR: - - -
7. MRs. B: "I'm just all mixed up on what to do. I started
to get a divorce-my lawyer .said I could get the mar-
riage annulled. But then I stopped that. I just don't
know.~'
8. COUNSELOR: - - -
9. MRs. B: "We quarrel a lot when we're togeth{lr. He's
dull and boring at times. They say appearance is:o.'t
important, but I th.ink it is; don't you? I want someone
tall, dark, and yo.u-know-what, and he's not."
10. COUNSELOR: - - -
130
"1~ .'
~
Pr~ctice in Oounselirig
#Ji
11. MRS. B: "Well, not quite. (Pause) I s'pose I shouldn't
i get a divorce till he gets home for good. 1:hat's what
! they all tell me. But I've got to get somethmg set~led.
I
1' This is getting me all upset. I've gotten out of messes
1 before, but this ~ . . .
u.
I
1 COUNSELOR: - - -
i
13. MRs. B: "There's an~ther thing. I might as well tell
I, all! We aren't sexually suited to each other at all. And
you can't love a person with whom you can't get along
sexually, can yo1:1 ?"
14. COUNSELOR:' _ _~
15. MRs. B: "Another thing. Bill is just crazy about chil-
dren; and I hate 'em! I always have. People say, "Oh,
yoU:'ll get over that," and talk about the maternal
instinct and a lot of stuff, but I don't like them and
that's the truth. So we quarrel oyer that."
16. COUNSELOR: ~--
17. MRs. B: "I don't see what I was thinking of when I got
' married. It was just 1;1. foolish whim, getting married. I
never thought about it being permanent~ I never
thought of all this settling .down business. We should
. break it up. I don't believe ~ was even in 'love with him.
I've always liked a change, and excitement, an.d it was
a chance foi .a trip. and a good time. I don't see what
I was thinking of. (Pause.) This sounds awful.",'
18. COUNSELOR:---
Discussion
Many counselors function well as lon~ -a; th~--clieht is
expressiiig attitudes with which they can feel some degree
of sympathy, put fall down badly when the client expresses
i
obviously immature or socially undesirable attitudes. This
.)
- 131
'~
'.
 Counseling with Returned Servicemen
interview will help in testing the extent to which the coun-
selor is really accepting and permissive. The responses made
made by the counselor are as follows:
~. COUNSELOR: "I see."
. ("A response of simpie ac.c eptance is often a sound pro-
cedure. It is good here. The counselor might also have
said, "your marriage just doesn't seem .to be panning
out.") . A young lieutenant who had been in overseas combat
4. COUNSELOR: "You doubt that you've ever had much
feeling for him."
6. COUNSELOR: "You don't want to be tied down to one
man-at least not yet." . brought out his fear about his own mental condition and
8. COUNSELOR: "You wanted to break up the marriage,
but still you haven't been sure en.o ugh to go ahead."
(This is a good response because it catches the ambiva-
lence which Mrs. B. is expressing.)
10. COUNSELOR:" Appearance is just about all-important as
far as you're concerned."
(This attempt to reflect feeling goes well beyond what
Mrs. B. has expressed and produces a momentary bit
of defensiveness and a pause in 11. Counselor might
better have said, "He seems somewhat disappointing
to :you in his appearance and in his conversation.'')
. I
12. COUNSELOR: "You feel this is pretty difficult and that
you've got to get clear in your own mind about it."
14. COUNSELOR: "You feel'that's another handicap to your
marriage."
16. COUNSELOR: "Your hatred for children is another thing
that you feel separates you from Bill."
18. Cou~sE~oR: "You don't like the way it sounds when
. I
you say it, but really you feel your marriage was just
a temporary lark."
13~
Practice in Counseling
(At both 16 and 18 ,the counselor must have been
tempted to.be judgmental and reproving, but he main-
, tained an accepting attitude. The wisdom of doing so
is revealed by .the outcome of the case, which is sum-
marized in Chapter VIII, pages 114-:116.) ,
THE NEUROTIC LIEUTENANT
eventually suffered a "nervous breakdown." He was re-
turned .to a general hospital in this country, and his wife
visited him regularly. In contacts with a counselor he
I also hi~ very disturbing impulses to harm his wife. The
I counseling interviews were recorded phonographically, and
i
! a few excerpts from the third and fourth interviews are
given here to giv~_ practice in responding to statements that
- are somewhat more confused and complex .than in the
preceding case.
I. LIEUTENA:r.J"T: "I believe the last time that I was here I
.,,, said something which may have been the cause of the
; whole affair. I have always-since the time I met my
r
wife-I have always had a fear that somehow I might
lose her, and when I was assigned to Camp "X" and
left her, I used to feel that very strongly, that someone
might take my pl~ce if something might happen to me,
or possibly that. she might-which .is unfair to her, I
.I"
[ kn~w-that possibly she might have been going with,
someone else. Why? I have no idea why I tho.ught that:
'r I guess it was because when I first started going ':ith
il her, as I said, I developed the fear that someone might
I: have gotten her before I would .have. I felt so strongly
toward her. And then when I knew that I was going to
133
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! .
Counseling with Returned Servicemen
go overseas and the thought that I might be killed
over there, or that something might happen to her
while I was over there, sort of got me, too. And it was
right after I left here and went to "X" that I had this
sudden cP.ange and hate for my work. And after that, a
strange feeling sometimes that I might kill her."
Q. COUNSELOR: - - -
3. LIEUTENANT: "I really do believe that is the root of all
my troubles, because when I told you that the-last time
I was here I had a sensational feeling and I nearly
started crying."
4. COUNSELOR: .
5~ LIEUTENANT: '
1
Yes, ldo. And on top of that-I guess
all through my life, I have been more or less concernea
-well, they used to call me cbnceitedJ I never felt it
until one day someone told me that I was the most
conceited person they had ever met. Then I more or
less started paying more attention to myself than I
should have, and that may have had something to do
with it, too. Po.ssibly if I had been different-more or
less a carefree person-it would not have happened at
all. Possibly it would have happened, but it would not
ha.Ve been as b~d as it was. " ..
6. Cou:NsEL~R: - - - '
7. LIEUTENANT: "Yes. (Pause.) The biggest reason that
I did g et m11:rried wasn't because I wanted to have the
life of a marri~d ri;J.an so much, but it was this fea~ that
someone e~se might step in, and also I had been run-
ning Mound quite a bit, ftnd felt that if I did get married,
it might ];ielp me. settle down, but I wasn't s~re that I
wanted to ' settle down, and with those thought;s m
mind, .I ;was married."
134
r.,,
\
,1' Practice in Counseling
''
8. COUNSELOR: - - -
9. LIEUTENANT: "Yes. After I was married and went to
i ,
"X," I had that urge to go out and have a good tinie,
but something_:_! guess the marriage--kept pulling me
back, kept holding me down~ and as a result, I didn't
have much of a good time. I stayed in, and it was right
there that the sudden hate for my work developed. It
just ~eems like it more or less came overnight. One day
I was just .sitting at my desk; I just felt I coldn't
stand work any ~ore." , -
10. CouNs:EiLOE: _ _ _
11. LIEUTENANT: ''Yes, because I can trace it back. I can
. :I
follow the thing through from there up to the sudden
hate for my work, and then these shocks and then the
fears and then-all of that. It jus.t seems to follow right
in line, and I can, take it hack to that point where it
seemed to have started, which makes me believe ~hat it
may have had something to do with it.."
rn. CouNsELoR:: _ __
(Shortly after this the interview is drawn to a close.)
,
' From the fourth interview. After telling of an incident
(.
about which he feels guilty' the conversation continues:
13. LIEUTENANT: "I know th~t all through my life that
has bothered me tO a certain extent-I mean I have
done things which later on I felt awfu~ sorry for what
I have done. I'm trying v~ry hard to overcome that
now, and I think that possibly that may have had some-
thing to do with it. Such as even the marriage--the
reason I married-not that I was sorry that I did' get
maiTied, but the reasons why kept weighing on my
mind-'-that guilty feeling."
14. COUNSELOR: _. - -
135
 Counseling with ;ReturnedServicemen
15. LIEUTENA.NT: "Yes, the motives were something which
- I don't know whether they still bother me or not-:---but
they're still there. As long as I can feel that I have a
successful marriage, I really don't think that they will
. harm me too much. The obsession of striking my wife
seems to have passed off and-oh, I thought about it,
but the actual obsession that I did have seems to have
disappeared. Possibly that is something I just thought
about when I was confused-just weighing on my
mind."
16. COUNSELOR: - - -
Discussion
The lieutenant is a confused but intelligent individual,
using the acceptance of the counseling situation to dig
slowly through to the significant elements in his experience
which enable him to understand himself. The counselor in
this case uses, as will be seen, good nondirective techniques.
He feels it is important to respond to all the emotionalized
attitudes expressed, and hence his responses tend to be
longer than those we have considered. it takes the utmost
concen~ration to catch so sensitively all the reactions of the
client: The counselor statement~, phonographically recorded,
are as follows:
2. COUNSELOR: "You feel this attitude about your wife is
the thing that lies pretty clo~e to the bottom of it."
4. COUNSELOR: "You've put a lot of things together-the
feeling that these things did start after that terrible fear
of losing the girl who meant so much to you and then
the thought of going overseas and perhaps being killed
and losing her that way or of someone else taking your
136
'
>'
Practi~e in Cou;,,seling
place, and then after that a more confused d~epe~ sort
. '' of obsession of taking her life, and then the experience
of having spoken of that and feeling so violently ab.out
that, feeling sort of relieved afterward, fits together m a
pattern th~t you are fairly sure is part at least of the
difficulty." _ . .
(For a response formulated in the qmck fl.ow ?f the
interview, this is an amazingly complete re:fl.ect10n ~f
all that the lieutenant has expressed in 1 and 3. _Ev:-
dently it took the couQselor a ~ittle. time. to organ:ze it
. j
h"is own m1"nd.. A less elaborate re:fl.ect10n
in . of attitude
would doubtless have served approximately the same
.;
purpose.)' . .
.) 6. GouNSELOR: "Pretty deep statement, isn't it, th~t you
,.
have at least a part of your life been sort of concentrated
on yourself and, consequently, weren't so able to throw
these things off as perhaps someone who wa_smore care-
free and perhaps less tied up in himself."
(This is a good clarification of a rather con~used
utterance, although the first phrase is somewhat Judg-
mental and might better have been omitted.)
8. COUNSELOR: "Even when you got married, you didn't
feel sure that that was what you wanted to do."
10. COUNSELOR: "You feel there is a connection between
the feeling of restraint which marria_ge p~t ?n ~ou af~er
.i
you got back to camp, and the se~se o~ 1rntat10n with
' those restraints, even though you did stick to them, and
,.r then a sudden irritation with everything you were
. "
domg. - . .
\. (The counselor is working right along with the ~hent,
trying to understand and clarify the puzzled attitudes
i.
.expressed.) .
137
 Counseling with Returned Servicemen
12. CouNSELOR: "You can really trace the way things have
fitted together, and that gives you confidence you are
on the right track." . much who won. I neve~ seem to get mad at. people,
14. COUNSELOR: "It wasn't t~at you re~retted marrying,
. l'
but that you regretted the motives, perhaps--the ..
reasons why you married."
16. COUNSELOR: " You feel your motives haven't changed
so much but that as you get some of these things
clearer in your mind they do not bother you so much."
A.W.O.L.
Private Dan J?oote 'w as A.W.O.L. and came unwillingly
to the counselor. The beg;inning of the first interview is
quoted in Chapter IV, pa~es 3.9-41, and the reader may wish
.1
to refresh his memory by' rereading this material. The second
:1
.interview likewise posed some rather difficult technical
problems fo1~ the counselor. The first portion of this. second
contact and a fragment of th~ third are here repq~ted from
the. counselor's notes. . .
"
.:i!
Dan came in, greeted the counselor, and then sat down
and remained silent for some time. . . ways, I guess." .
1. CouNSELOR: "What would you like to talk about to-
day?"
2. DAN: "I thought you'd better askthe questions today.
I did a lot of talking yesterday." _ ' 15. COUNSELOR: - - -
) ,.
3. COUNSELOR: - - -
4. DAN: "!wonder if you'd tell me; do you think I have
an Oedipus complex?I've read some books about psy-
chology, and I wonder if I have an OedipU:s complex."
5. (jOUNSELOR: _ __
6. DAN: "Well, I don't thi~k I have, but I wondered.
(Pause.) I'm sort of funny in some ways; I've never
138 . "
\ ,
Practice in Counseling
cared for competition. I'm athletic, but I never .,c ared
either. When I don't like them, I just leave them.'"
7 . .COUNSELOR: .. .
8. DAN: "What about my future? I've been thinking that
the way I handle this situation mig}it ~ffect my futu~e.
I hadn't thought about that until I began to think th~t
there might be a solution for this situation.''
9. CouNsELoR: ---'-
10. DAN:. "Yeah. J rei;Llize I've. sort of rU:n away from situ-
ations in the past, like leaving college the way I . told
you, and I know I can't go on that way if I want to be
a success. I suppose the only way to develop confidence
would be to face the situation and win. (Pause, then
slowly.).And if I'm not going to solve the situation that
way now-and I don't want to--then what about the
future?"
11. COUNSELOR: - - -
12. DAN: "T don't know. I want to be a success in some
l~. COUNSELOR: - - -
i4. DAN: "Yes. (Pause.) How are we going to handle this?
. (Laugh.) How do you like that 'we'?"
In the third interview, after Dan decides to return to
camp, he makes tliis statement:
16. DAN: "There is no use in pretending that I won't be
afraid when I go back. I expect I'll get flopped iii the
guardhouse. Then I don't know what will happen to
me."
, 17. COUNSELOR: _ __
189
 Coun,seling with Returned Servicemen
Discussion
, .but th~n. the respop.sibili ty for the decision would have
The situation in the second interview is not easy to handle
because Dan is obviously trying (subconsciously rather than
with conscious intent) to place' the responsibility upon the
counselor, rather than retaining it himself. The silence at .
the outset forces the counselor to take some initiative, but
he uses it wisely and response 1 is a good nondirective lead.
3. CouNSELOR: "I don't think it helps much to ask a lot
of questions. This is just a pface where you can thillk
through the things you are bothered about." (Pause.)
(This is an appropriate point for a structuring response.
Without being in any way f:ritical of the boy, the coun-
selor indicates that it is up to him to choose how he
wishes to use the interview.)
5. COUNSELOR: "YOU really wonder what sort of label you
ought to attach to yourself."
-. ~:.(Here the counselor could have been sidetracked into
a futile intellectual argument and discussion. If he had
said yes, Dan would have been defensive, as his r~ply
shows. If he had said no, furthel'. questions would have
be~p. forthcoming. He wisely reflects the feeling behind
the question, and Dan goes on to other topics.)
7. COUNSELOR: "You feel you're a little different from
most people." (Long pause.)
9. COUNSELOR: "You're beginning to feel that what you
do now may really influence your life from now on."
l l. COUNSELOR: "You feel sure that the one way of meet-
ing this situation which would develop your confidence,
you're not going to use."
(This is a severe test of the counselor's vi~wpoint. It
would seem so easy to try to persuade Dan at this point, ,
140 ' they may be avoided in the interview itself.
Practice in Counseling
' (
been the counselor's. By disciplining himself to reflect
the negative as . well as the positive aspects of the
boy's attitude, the counselor makes it possible for Dan
to arrive at his own responsible decision, which he does
in the foll.owing interview. Also this good response of
the counselor produces the :first glimmer of a positive
purpose on the part of Dan in 12.)
13. C<;>.UNSELOR: "You feel you'd like to ~e somebody you
can respect?" .
15. COUNSELOR:- ,,.You sort of feel we're working together,
:~~'.t' :;.
on this."
(From the initial portion of the interview, where the
client is to some extent sparring with the counselor,
skillful handling has brought them to a point where the
Ciient feels they are working together.)
17. COUNSELOR: "It's really a big step to take; isn't it, and
you are fearful of what may happen to_you."
(Even after Dan has made his significant decision the
counselor performs his best function by . 9ffering
imdersta~ding, rather than cheap and meaningless
-~ reassurance.)
TECHNIQU;Es-Goon AND BAD
T,b.us far the aim has been to practice those types of
responses which would be most helpful. It has been found
however in training counselors that interpretive responses,
reassurance; advice, etc., are often used quite unwittingly
by the counselor, simply because he has never learn~d to
recognize these l~ss desirable forms of respon.se. : Conse-
quently the exercise thatfollows is designed to giv~ oppor-
tunity for the intelligent practice of errors, in order that
141
 .'~
'JI
,~t
\_; ~ .
Counseling with Retu'lned Servicemen
?-'o .refresh the reader's ~ind, simple definitions of appro-
pmtte and .i nappropriate types of.. responses are given, in
order to ma~e clear. what is desired in the exercise.
Defini#ons
Client~centered Techniqu~s (appropriate and desirable tech-
. r:iiques) .,
r
Reflection of feeling: To express, in f~esh words, the essential . centered response and the two counselor-centered responses
attitudes (not the content) expressed by the ciient to
mirror his attitudes for his own better understanding, ~nd
to show that he. is understood by the counselor: . .
Simple acceptance: An "M-hm" type of response that does
no more than indicate acceptance and understanding.
Structuring: A simple explanation of the type of relation-
ship that exists betweencounselor and client.
Nondirectivelead: A very general question designed to open
the conversation but not direct it.
~ounselOT-centered Techniques(us~ally inappropriate ~nd unde-
sirable) . nosy questions!"
Questioning: Questions designed to get deeper irito the
problem, to ' discover the extent and .the : cause of the
difficulty. . 'lp. Reassurance:
.Reassurance or praise: A positive evaluation of the client by
1
the counselor. - ' ~
Criticism or negative evaluation: A negative .evalu~tion of
the client by the counselor.
Interp:e~ti.on: Any a~tempt, partial or complete,to e:ii;:plain
the mdiv1dual to himself; .pointing out to the client the
way in which different aspects of his behavior ar~ related
attempting to show cause-and-effect reiationships which
the client has not expressed.
Advice ~nd suggestion: _Indicating, in any fashion, the steps
or actions that the client should take or the stan<lards or
attitudes that he should adopt. . . . 2b. 'P raise :
. Persuasion: Marshaling the reasons why the client should
adopt the actions or goals advised by the counselor.
1 .4~ ' ' '
'..!
.. I
;i'
Pradtice in Oounselirig
Identification: A response that says, in. effect, ~1 have had
the same experience that you 'are' describing."
Neutrcl Technique (useful inappropriate situation)
Information: Giving fads in a ' neutral way that permits
the client to. mak his own choice,
AnExercis~
With these definitions in mind, write out the' one client-
that are called for after each statement below. Thus the
counselor is asked to formulate one desirable response, and
two undesirable responses, to each client statement. The
materiaL.is taken fro:rp. an interview with a veteran, but the
' '
statements are not consecutive~
' '
fl'. VETERAN: "Say, what's the matter with this tovln? You v
go down the st~eet and don't see anyone you know, you W:alk into
the restaurants and they give you the cold shoulder, yo'u look for
a job and they h~ve to see your discharge papers and ask a lot of
yz-Reflection of feeling:
Ji<..
.)
Qtiestio~ing: .
2; "It wasn't this way overseas. It was tough over
VETERAN:
there, but you had your job an!l you did it. I was tail gunner in
a Fortress. I could have let the a,rmorers locik after my guns, but
I never let it go at that. I always checked 'em over myself to
make sure they were right. The whole snip was no better than
any man in it, and if one gun werit out, you were all likely to be
done for."
2a. Simple acceptance:
2c. interp~etation:
143
 1
Counseli-ng with Returned Servicemen Practice in Counseling

3. VETERAN: "You see these guys going around here with

good jobs who have had it nice and easy all the time we've been
1

me that I was doing pretty good if I sent home__dollars out

of the_'_ dollars I was getting paid. What do you think?
I

gone, and it just mak.es you sore. Don't. you .think yourself that I Doesn't that seem fair to you?"
there are a lot of fellows who got their draft boards to defer 'em 6a. Reflectio~ of feeling, or structuring:
on pretty weak excuses, and then just stayed home to make 1ots
of money and have it soft? It makes me boil, just like it used to 6b. Negative evaluation
when my older brother would sneak o_ut on a Saturday afternoon,
leaving me with all the work!"
3a. Reflection of feeling: 6c. Praise: .
7. VETERAN: "When I was young, my mother. always used to
watch over everything I did. You see, I was the youngest, and
Sb~ Interpretation: she was always worrying about rile. She was the kind that
worried about whether I.had my rubbers on when I went out.
3c. Negative evaluation: much
I didn't mind it so then, but after I got away from home--
4. VETERAN: "You know, it's a fun~y thing, but when I go Of comse she was really a good mother. Just about everything
in to ask for a job, I just feel shaky all over. It's the silliest damri. she did was for. us kids."
thing! Why should I do that?" 7a. Reflection of feeling:
4a. Reflection of feeling
7b. Interpretation:
4b, ln terpretation:
7c. Identification:
4c. Suggestion: 8. VETERAN: "Sometimes I think, 'Gosh, you can't go drifting
5. VETERAN: "I think it would be a screwy thing to do, really; around here always. You have to pick out a job and stick to it.'
but I think sometimes that I will sign up again with the army. B~t you know that isn't so easy. It's been nearly three years I've
It would be easier than all this red tape of get~ing a job, and you been in the army, and I don't know what I want to do now;"
would always be sure of where your :r;iext meal was coming from. Ba; Reflection of feeling:
And they :are a good gang of fellows there too. But I think that
l would be a foolish thing to do." Sb. Advice:
5a~ Reflection of feeling:
8c. Reassurance:
5b. Advice:
9. VETERAN: "i don't know wheth.er I have any abilities that
5c. Persuasion: are good for anything. I've forgotten all I knew about the shoe
6. VETERAN: "l\Iy mother doesn't have much, and she pretty industry, and I don't think I want to go back there anyway.
much lived on the allotment that I sent home. I never knew And what else do I know? What I know about handling a machi'ne
a
just what to do about that. It seemed to me that I had right to gun won't pe much use unless I go in with racketeers, and I cer-
keep enough to enjoy myself on-oh, I didn't do any high living tainly don't know any other lines of work.''
-of course some of the fellows sent home niore, but it seemed to .9a. Reflectfon of.feeling:
144 145
/
 Counseling with Returned Servicemen
9b. Suggestion:
9c. Information:
Discussion
The reader who has written out the responses called for
will have discovered that different counselors would all
tend to give approximately similar responses at each point,
if they are formulating client-centered responses. For . the
counselor-centered responses, however, there could be as
many different responses as there are counselors. This fact
will need to be borne in mind as you compare your responses
with those below. They will all be .given witho~t comment.
To understand the reasons for the superiority of the. client-
centered techniques, it would be desirable to reread Chapter
IV.
Responses
Ia. Reflection of feeling: "You feel this is a pretty unfriendly
place."
lb. Reassurance: "That's just because you're new here. You'll
like the town when you get to know it."
le. Questioning: "Where have you come from?"
or, "Are you looking for a job?"
~r, ," Who treated you that way?" etc.
2a. Simple acceptance ~ "Yes, I see."
2b. Praise: "Well; we're really proud of fellows like you."
2c. Interpretation: "You will find it different back here. It
is part of the readjustment that every man has to 'go
through." (There could, of course be many .o ther ways of
giving praise in 'ib or of interpreting in 2c, depending on
the personal attitudes and bias of the counselor. This holds
for all the counselor-centered responses that follow, but
not for the client-centered.)
3a. Reflection of feeling: "You feel you've gotten a raw deal
.just as you did when you were a boy."
146
Practice in Counseling
3b: Ip.terpretation: "Perhaps one of the reasons you ~eel sore
at these guys is that you've never gotten over bemg sore
at. your brother."
i:!c. Negative evaluation: "You're really mistaken about the
draft boards; they have done a very fair. job," etc.,
etc. .
4a. Reflection of feeling: "You wonder why you should feel
so upset."
4b. Interpretation: "It's because it .is all new to you, very
differentirom the experience you've been having overseas."
4c. Suggestion: . "I think ii' you~ll just plan out in advance
what you want; to say; you won't feel so shaky."
5a. Refle~tion offeeling: "You're pulled both ways. You feel it
. would be foolish to stay in, but the security looks pretty
good." .
5b. Advice: "If I were you I'd reenlist."
or, "If I were you I'd stay out."
. 5c. Persuasion: "You know if you reenlist they will give you
. '- . ' " (goes on to state ~dvantages) or, "If you stay out
you can . . . " (goes on to state advantages.}
6a. Reflection of feeling: "You're not sure whether you've
done the right thing by her.". " -
Structuring: "I don't think I can ap.swer questions like
that, but if'you want to tell.me more about it, maybe you
could decide." (This is definitely a less desirable response
~t this point than the ~eflection of feeling.)
6b. Negative evaluation: "I don't think you've been sending
home as much as most fellows do who get your pay."
6c. Praise: "That sounds very generous to me."
7a. Reflection of feeling: "You've sort of resented her worry-
ing, but still you feel she's been a good mother."
7b. Interpretation: "Fro.m the way you put that, I think yo:u'd
like to criticize your mother, but you fee~ guiltY, when
you do."
7c. Identification: "I know what you mean. My mot1?-er al-
ways hovered over me too. Why, she wouldn't even let
..me-" etc., etc.
147
\
 Counseling with Returned Servicemen Practice in Counse~ing

8a. Reflection of feeling: "After three years you're finding it
pretty tough to make a choice."
8b. Advice: "Well from what you've said, I think you'd better
settle down to something, even if you 're not quite sure it
is what you would like."
Sc. Reassurance: "Don't worry about it. It's going to take
time to know what you want."
9a. Reflection of feeling: "You're really dbubtful whether your
abilities fit into any line of work you want to enter."
9b. Suggestion: "If I were you I'd try bookbinding. That
would use some of the skills you developed jn shoe manu-
facturing."
9c. Information: "There is a vocational guidance burea~ here
in town which would test your abilities and indicate some
vocations to consider. You might wish to go there, or you
might not."
diately afterward. A single iaterview adequately reporte~
and intelligently criticized will make for more counselo1
than
.
1earnmg . ten interviews summarized
. . . . afterward
b from
memory. Where skilled supervisory criticism is uno tam-
able definite profit may be gained by a group of counselors
studying together and analyzing and crit~cizi~g each othe~s
interviews. The counselor w~o is serious rn his purpose will
endeavor to find some way of carrying on this next step of
supervised practice.

THE NEXT STEP

.The practice that has been obtained through the exercises

in this chapter is a sound intermediate step. This manual
stressed first the study of basic principles and case material
exemplifying these- principles. Second, exercises cif the sort
given in this chapter offer the opportunity to apply these
principl.es in a situation w.here the counselor feels no urgency .
and no tension, because it is a paper situation. This ill turn
should befollowed by the next step, superyised co:miseling
interviews. It is to be hoped that the reader of this chapter
can arrange for such supervised training. For the g~eatest .
learning the interviews should be phonographicaliy re-
corded, since the opportunity to listen to the whole inter-
view, with the words, the inflections, and the silences all
accurately reproduced, makes for the greatest progress. If
this .is not possible, the counselor is urged to keep very
complete notes during the interview, writing them up imme-
148 149
 ) '
/ !

' ~.
Appendix

FURTHER READING

,.

T
HE ANNOTATED L IST THAT FOLLOWS IS DIVIDED INTO
two parts;~ the fi~st containing references tha~ will
. provide deeper and more complete understandmg of
the returning serviceman himself, and the second containing
references that lead further into . a consideration of the
process and .method of counselh1g~
i (

UNDERSTANDING THE INDIVIDUAL SERVICEMAN

Child, Irving L., and Marjorie Van de Water. Pftychology fOT the
Returning Service Man, Penguin Books, New York.
Prepared by a committee 0 psychologists 0 the National
Research Council. A companion book to Psychplogy for the
Fighting Man, of which severalhundred thousandcopieshave
been sold. This book discusses the problems the man faces
,.
upori his return-the attitudes 0 civilians, the readjustment : i
to the job, the rebuildiiig 0 family relationships. Good . ;
-chaj)ters on the hospitalized man. and on "NPs." Written
siinply and directly for . the serviceman himself~ . but de-
cidedly useful for counselors as well.

Pratt, George K. Soldier to Civilian, McGraw-Hill ~ook Com,

pariy, foe., New York. '.
I ;
._G9od background material. Provides a surve_y 0 the service-
man's . adjustments upon entering military life and his ......:1!
/ readjustments upon ieaving. Simply ~ritten. An appendix ...
':'/ '

151
 Counseling with Returned Servicemen
contains a committee report on planning for local com-
munity ser.vices to veterans.
Travis, Lee, and Dorothy W. Baruch. Personal Problems of
Everyday Life, D. Appleton-Century Company, Inc., New
York.
This book has nothing to do with servicemen, but a great
deal t0 'do with people. Gives the reader a vivid under-
standing of himself and his behavior, and sympathetic under-
standing of the behavior of others. Chapter IV is an excellent
statement of basic motivations. Will be profitable to coun-
. selors, and would be enjoyed by the intelligent serviceman
as well.
. Waller, W. Veteran Comes Back, Dryden Press, New York.
A sociologist writes a vivid description of the <;ivilian's trans-
formation into a soldier, of his bitterness and unhappiness
when he returns, and our past attempts to assist vete.r ans.
Though some will feel that certain aspects are overdrawn,
no one can read the book without a much deeper under-
standing of the attitudes of all soldiers-past and present-
as they return from the wars. The concluding chapters con-
tain sugg~stions as to a program of assistance.
Weeter, Dixon. Johnny Comes Marching Home, Houghton MifI:l.in
'company, Boston.
Wecter's book is primarily a historical and sociological study
of what has happened to veterans of past wars, with one
section devoted to the attitudes of our servicemen in this
war and the plans that have been made to deal with them.
It paints a broad picture of the situation and sets it in
historical perspective.
COUNSELING THE SERVICEMAN
Cantor, Nath,aniel. Employee Counseling, McGraw-Hill Book
Company, Inc., New York.
This new book presents a client-centered viewpoint in coun-
seling as applied to industrial situations. It contains many
152
r
Appen dix
excerpts from interviews and a helpful discussion of the
organization of industrial counseling. This, and the two fol-
lowing books, would provide a satisfactory basis for further
group study.
Garrett, Annette: Interviewing, Family Welfare Associati6n, rn2
East 22d St., New York.
Mi~s Garrett has written a helpful small book on the process
of interviewing from the caseworker's point of view. Her
discussion of the basic elements in human nature, and of the
interviewer's attitudes and skills, is fresh and stimulating .
More than half the book is taken up with cases, reported in
some detail. Whiie -only one of the cases has any relationship
to servicemen, the principles of good interviewing are illus-
.trated in situations drawn from family agencies and similar
organizations. This book will be helpful to workers, who have
a serious desire to improve their counseling skills.
Rogers, Carl R. Counseling and Psychotherapy, Houghton MifI:l.in
Compa.n y, I,3oston.
A more complete presentation of the nondirective or client-
centered approach to counseling. Discusses such topics as
when counseling is indicated, creating a counseling relation-
ship, encouraging emotional release, the develqpment of
insight, the closing phases of counseling. Contains many
phonographically recorded excerpts from interviews and one
complete case, recorded and discussed. This book has been
widely used in the fields of student counseling and industrial
counseling.
p AMPHLETS AND JOURNAL REFERENCES
Axline, V. M., and Rogers ~ Carl R. "A Teacher-therapist Deals
with a Handicapped Child," Journal of Abnormal and Social
Psychology, 40: 119-142, April, 1945. '
Gives in full the treatment of a handicapped youngster. Has
, \ many implications for those who deal with wounded or
convalescent servicemen.
153
Counseling with Returned Servicemen
;Baker, Helen. Employee Counseling, Princeton University .P ress,
Princeton, N. J.
A pamphlet that gives a useful survey of the various methods
and viewpoints now practiced in the industrial field. Does
not contain much evaluation, and hence will need to be read
with a critical intelligence.
Bixler, R. H., and V. H. Bixler. "Clinical Counseling in Voca-
tional Guidance," Journal of Clinical Psychology, 1 :186-192,
July, 1945.
Discusses the need for sound personal couiiseling as an
integral part of vocation~l guidance.
Combs, Arthur W. "Followup of a Counseling Case Treated by
the Non-directive Method," .Journal of Clinical Psychology,
1: 147-154, April, 1945.
A case reported in full, with a follow-up study .one year later.
Curran, Charles A. "Structuring the Counseling Relationship: A
Case Eeport," Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology,
39: 189-216, April, 1944.
An account of a first interview with a discussion of the
counselor's procedure.
Gardner, Burleigh B. Case Studies for Interviewing Methods and
Techniques, University of Chicag<;> Bookstore, Chicago, 1944.
Case material drawn from industrial situations. Includes
survey interviews and opinion-gathering interviews as well
as counseling interviews.
Holman, Charles T . "A Workshop in Counseling on Wartime
Problems," Army-Navy YMCA, 347 Madison Avenue; New
York.
The Army-Navy YMCA has conducted a great many
counseling seminars for USO workers, chaplains, clergymen,
and others. Out of this rich practical experience comes a
. study outline that should be stimulating to local .groups
154
Appendix
i wishing to develop their skills. Written primarily for Pmtes-
tant religious workers, it nevertheless is broad enough to
meet the needs of other groups. It provides discussion topics,
questions, assignments, and reading references.
I
Madigan, Virginia E. "An Illustration of Non-directive Psycho-
therapy," Journal of Clinical Psychology, 1: 36-52, January,
1945.
The counseling of a delinquent girl given in full.
Porter, Elias H. "The Development ~nd Evaluation of a Measure
of Counseling Interview Procedures," Educational and
Psychological Measurement, 3: 105-126, summer; ~15-238,
autumn, 1942. - -
A research study of methods of evaluating and rating coun-
selor procedures.
Rogers, Carl R. A Counseling Viewpoint for the USO Worker,
United Ser~ice Organizatio~s, Inc., 350 Fifth Avenue, New
York. (Distributed also by the Federal Council of Churches;
297 Fourth Avenue, New York, under the title, "A Coun-
seling Viewpoint.")
Contrasts the traditional counseling viewpoint with the
client-centered approach. While this pamphlet contains
nothing new for the reader of this volume, it would be a
valuable introduction to counseling for those who have had
little contact with the field1.
Rogers, Carl R. "Counseling," Review of Edu~ational Research,
15: 155-163, April, 1945.
This is a review of-research in the field of counseling from
February, 1942, to October, 1944. Contains a bibliography
of 39 titles.
Rogers, Carl R. "The Development of Insight in a Counseling
Relationship," Journal of Consulting Psychology, 8: 331.....341,
Novembe~December, 1944.
". The development of self-understanding is illustrated and
.discussed .
155
Counseling with Returned Servicemen
Sargent, Helen. "Nondirective Counseling Applied to a Single
-l INDEX
Interview," Journal of Consulting Psychology, 7: 183-190, i
I

July, 1943 .
. An indication of the kind of results that may be obtain_ed
in a single interview.
A Client, respect for whole person of,
Snyder, William U. An Investigation of the Nature of Non-directive 20
Psychotherapy, Ohio State University Press, Columbus, Ohio, Acceptance, 21, 22, 49, 50, 56 self-understanding of, 21
simple, 31, 123, 132 Client-c~ntered counseling, justi-
1943. (Doctor's thesis.) definition of, 142 fication for, l23-124.
A condensation of this study is to be published in the Journal function of, 31 Client-counselor relationship, per-
of General Psychology. Adjustme.n t, satisfactory, 11-12 sonal, 28, 60
A significant research study in which counselor procedures Advice and suggestion, 142 . Combs, Arthur W., 154
'and client reactions are studied objectively. Axline, V. M., 153 Counseling, aim of, 42, 59, 90,
B 113-114
Snyder, William U. "A Short-term Non-directive Treatment of educational, 90-106
An Adult." Journal of Abnormal apd Social Psychology Bake~, Helen, 154 growth ~f experience in, 14
(Clinical Supplement), 38: 87-137, April, 1943. Baruch, Dorothy W., 152 implications of, 14
Bixler, Ray H., '93n., 103n., 154 need for, 3, 4
A full report or' five counseling interviews with a man who is
Bixler, Virginia H., 93n., 103, 154 practice in, 125-149
dissatisfied with his vocational achievement.
techniques of, 19
c traditional, 5
Cantor, Nathaniel, 152 training for, 4
Cases.: Foote, Dan, A.W.0.L., vocational, 90-106
39-40, 138 Counseling climate, 17-22
Hamsun, Private, 97-99 fOUnselor attitude in, 19
L. H., 61-67 importance of, 17, 18
Munroe, Sergeant, 93-94 Counseling contacts, beginning of,
Savrensky, Irving, 68-99 29, 47
Westwood, Private, 51-54, ~6 casual, 117-124
Williams, Harry, 56-57 case of, 119-120
Child, Irving L., 151 ending of, 58
Client, capacity for adjustment of, final stages of, 97
20 length of, 43
Jreedom of choice of; 22 length of interval between, 43
information-seeking, 103-105 number of, 43
integrity of, 19 progre.ssion of, 47-60, 115-116
respect for personal autonomy Counseling relationship, defining
of, 19 of, 25
157
156
 .......
Index
Counseling with Returned Servicemen
I
Motivation, S-11 Relationship, defining of, 26
Counseling services, 3, 4 Growth, development of, 12-13 -. Risks, directive approach, 6
Counseling session, purpose of, 16 importance of limits for, 28 awareness of, 12
importance of, 37 l nondirective approach, 44
Counselor, attitude of, 19-22 toward maturity, 13, 14, 15, 23
Rogers, Carl R., 153, 155
basic responsibility of, 17 motivation for, 14 N
function of, 5, '6, 11, 14, 16, 18, social pressures for, 16 s
46 Goal, limited, 117-118 Negative feelings, acceptance of,
techniques of, 25-45 Goals, educational counseling, 95 41 Sargent, Helen, 156
tolerance of, 20, 21 selection of, _15 Nondirective counseling, appli- Savrensky, Irving, case of, 68-89
Criticism, 142 vocational counseling, 95 cability of, 7 ' Servicemen, problems of, 17-rn
Curran, Charles A., 154 purposeof, 5 Snyder, William U., 156
H risks of," 44 Structuring, 98, 99
D Nondirective counseling and de- definition of, 142
Holman, Charles T., 154 mocracy, 23, 2~. .
Decision making, 26, 96-97 Nondirective lead, 123, 142 T
Definitions, client-centered tech- I Note taking, 42-44
niques, 142 ;- Techniques, 25-45
Democracy and nondirective Information, indications for, 104- p definitions of, 142
counseling, 23-24 106 note-taking, 42-44
Disabled, counseling of, 41-42 marital, 112-113 Pauses, handling of, 29 praise, 35
tests for, 91-92, 99-102 s~gnificance of, 30 questions, 36
E use of, 95-99 Persuasion, 142 reassurance, 35
vocational, 91-94 Porter, Elias H., 155 reflection of feeling, 31-35
Educational counseling, 90-106 Insight, 5, 54, 55 Practice counseling, cases in, 126- simple acceptance, 31
goal of, 95 development of, 50, 53, 54, 70, 129, 13()-133, 133-138, 13S- Te~ts, meaning of, to client, 101
Emotional release, 5 89 141 use of, 91-92, 99-102
Exercise, counseling, 143-149 Interpretation, 142 exercise in, 143-149 Travis, Lee, 152

F L
.Praise, 85
Pratt, George K., 151
v
Positive steps, handling of, 55-58 Van de Water, Marjorie, 151
Feeiings, expression of; 48-50 L. H., case of, 6~-67
Psychological needs, importance Vocational counseling, 90-106
kinds. and trends of, 33 Limits, 27, 28 .., of, 8, 9,. 11, 12
. reflection of, 31-35, 56, -142 cil,se of, 97-99
Foote, Dan, case of, 39-40 M goal of, 95
Q
illustration of, 95
Madigan. Virginia E., 155
G
Maladjustment, 12
Questions, 86, 162
w
Gardner, Burleigh B., 154 Marital and family counseling, R
Waller, W., 152
Garrett, Annette, 153 107-116
Reassurance, 35, 142 Weeter, Dixon, 152
Growth, concept of, 5 cases in, 112-113, 114-116
Reflection of attitude, 123 Westwood, Private, case of, 51-54,
conflicting tendencies of, 13-14 handling of, 110-112, 113-114
Reflection of teeling, 31-35, 142 56
counseling atmosphere for, 17 infbrmaticin in, 112-113
159
158