6/1/2017 Realization.

org:MyMeetingWithRamanaMaharshibyMercedesDeAcosta

EXPERIENCE

MyMeetingWithRamana
Maharshi
ShewasaHollywoodscreenwriter.Hewasthemost
Home reveredsageinIndia.Here'swhathappenedwhenshe
visitedhimforthreedays.

GOTO ByMercedesDeAcosta
NEWSITE
MercedesDeAcostawasaCubanAmericanscreenwriter
ofthe1920sand30swhowasfamousforherloveaffairs

withGretaGarbow,MarleneDietrich,IsadoraDuncan,and
ahostofotherbeautifulcelebrities.

SearchSite "Icangetanywomanawayfromanyman,"shelikedto
tellherfriends.1

In1938shetraveledtoArunachalatomeetRamana
Go
Maharshiandstayedforthreedays.Shelaterwroteinher
autobiographythatthesewerethethreemostsignificant
daysofherlife.
Recentstuff In1962shesentSriRamanaacopyofherautobiography,
fromwhichthisarticleisexcerpted,andinscribeditas
NothingExistedExcept
follows:
theEyesofthe
MaharshibyN.R.
ToBhagavanRamanaMarharshi,theonly
KrishnamurtiAiyer. completelyegoless,worlddetached,and
Oct.29,2001 purebeingIhaveeverknown.

WhoAreYou?An Thisisheraccountofwhathappenedduringherstayin
InterviewWithPapaji Arunachalain1938.
byJeffGreenwald.
Oct.24,2001 ASEARCHINSECRETINDIA[abookbyPaulBrunton]
hadaprofoundinfluenceonme.InitIlearnedforthefirst
AnInterviewwith timeaboutRamanaMaharshi,agreatIndiansaintand
ByronKatiebySunny sage.Itwasasthoughsomeemanationofthissaintwas
Massad.Oct.23,2001 projectedoutofthebooktome.Fordaysandnightsafter
readingabouthimIcouldnotthinkofanythingelse.I
AnInterviewwith became,asitwere,possessedbyhim.Icouldnoteven
DouglasHardingby talkofanythingelse.Nothingcoulddistractmefromthe
KribenPillay. ideathatImustgoandmeetthissaint.Fromthistimeon,
Oct.21,2001 althoughIceasedtospeaktoomuchaboutit,thewhole
directionofmylifeturnedtowardIndiaandawayfrom
Hollywood.IfeltthatIwouldsurelygothere,although
TheNectarof
therewasnothingatthistimetoindicatethatIwould.
ImmortalitybySri
Nevertheless,IfeltIwouldmeettheMaharshiandthat
NisargadattaMaharaj. thismeetingwouldbethegreatestexperienceofmylife.
Oct.18,2001
Ihadverylittlemoney,fartoolittletoriskgoingtoIndia,
ThePowerofthe butsomethingpushedmetowardsit.Iwenttothe
PresencePartTwoby steamshipcompanyandbookedmyselfoneofthe
DavidGodman. cheapestcabinsonanIndianship,theS.S.Victoria,
Oct.15,2001 sailingfromGenoatoBombaytowardthebeginningof
October.InthemeantimeIflewtoDublintoseemysister.
TheQuintessenceof

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MyTeachingbySri IhadbookedpassagetoCeylonintendingfromthereto
NisargadattaMaharaj. crossovertosouthernIndiaandgodirectlyto
Oct.3,2001 Tiruvannamalai,whereRamanaMaharshilived.Butwhen
theshipcalledatBombay,NorinaMatchabellicameon
InterviewWithDavid boardtoseemewithamessagefromMeherBabasaying
Godman.Sept.28,2001 thatConsuelo[aladytravelingcompanionwhowasa
followerofMeherBaba]andImustgetofftheshipand
cometoseehiminAhmednagar,abouttwohoursfrom
ThePowerofthe
Bombay.Ididnotwanttodothisasmyrealpurposein
PresencePartOneby
IndiawastoseetheMaharshi,andIwasimpatienttoget
DavidGodman. tohim.
Sept.28,2001
[TheauthorhadmetMeherBabainCaliforniaandfor
NothingEverHappened sometimeevincedconsiderablerespectforhim.However,
Volume1byDavid herfaithinhimwanedpriortocomingtoIndia,andonce
Godman.Sept.23,2001 there,itallbutevaporated.AtMeherBaba'srequestone
ofthefewsheconsentedtoshefirstmadeatourofIndia,
Collisionwiththe delayinghervisittotheMaharshi.]
InfinitebySuzanne
Segal.Sept.22,2001 InMadrasIhiredacar,andsoanxiouswasItoarrivein
TiruvannamalaithatIdidnotgotobedandtraveledby
LillyoftheValley,the night,arrivingaboutseveno'clockinthemorningafter
BrightandMorning drivingalmostelevenhours.IwasverytiredasIgotout
StarbyCharlie ofthecarinasmallsquareinfrontofthetemple
Hopkins. [ArunachaleswaraTemple].Thedriverexplainedhecould
takemenofarther.IturnedtowardthehillofArunachala
August9,2001
andhurriedinthehotsunalongthedustcoveredroadto
theabodeabouttwomilesfromtownwheretheSage
dwelt.AsIranthosetwomiles,deeplywithinmyselfI
Ouremailaddressiseditor knewthatIwasrunningtowardthegreatestexperienceof
@realization.org. mylife.
Copyright2001
Realization.org. When,dazedandfilledwithemotion,Ifirstenteredthe

hall,Ididnotquiteknowwhattodo.Comingfromstrong
sunlightintothesomewhatdarkenedhall,itwas,atfirst,
difficulttoseenevertheless,IperceivedBhagavanat
once,sittingintheBuddhapostureonhiscouchinthe
corner.AtthesamemomentIfeltovercomebysome
strongpowerinthehall,asifaninvisiblewindwas
pushingviolentlyagainstme.ForamomentIfeltdizzy.
ThenIrecoveredmyself.TomygreatsurpriseIsuddenly
heardanAmericanvoicecallingouttome,"Hello,come
in."ItwasthevoiceofanAmericannamedGuyHague,
whooriginallycamefromLongBeach,California.Hetold
melaterthathehadbeenhonorablydischargedfromthe
AmericanNavyinthePhilippinesandhadthenworkedhis
waytoIndia,takingupthestudyofyogawhenhereached
Bombay.ThenheheardaboutSriRamanaMaharshiand,
feelinggreatlydrawntohim,decidedtogoto
Tiruvannamalai.WhenImethimhehadalreadybeenwith
theMaharshiforayear,sittinguninterruptedlydayand
nightinthehallwiththesage.

Herosefromwherehewassittingagainstthewalland
cametowardme,takingmyhandandleadingmebackto
aplacebesidehimagainstthewall.Hedidnotatfirst
speaktome,allowingmetopullmyselftogether.Iwas
abletolookaroundthehall,butmygazewasdrawnto
Bhagavan,whowassittingabsolutelystraightinthe
Buddhaposturelookingdirectlyinfrontofhim.Hiseyes
didnotblinkorinanywaymove.Becausetheyseemed
sofulloflightIhadtheimpressiontheyweregray.I
learnedlaterthattheywerebrown,althoughtherehave
beenvariousopinionsastothecolorofhiseyes.Hisbody

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wasnakedexceptforaloincloth.Idiscoveredsoonafter,
thatthisandhisstaffwereabsolutelyhisonly
possessions.Hisbodyseemedfirmandasiftannedby
thesun,althoughIfoundthattheonlyexerciseheever
tookwasatwentyminutewalkeveryafternoonatfive
o'clockwhenhewalkedonthehillandsometimesgreeted
yogiswhocametoprostratethemselvesathisfeet.

Hewasastrictvegetarian,butheonlyatewhatwas
placedbeforehimandheneverexpressedadesireforany
kindoffood.Ashesatthereheseemedlikeastatue,and
yetsomethingextraordinaryemanatedfromhim.Ihada
feelingthatonsomeinvisiblelevelIwasreceivingspiritual
shocksfromhim,althoughhisgazewasnotdirected
towardme.Hedidnotseemtobelookingatanything,and
yetIfelthecouldseeandwasconsciousofthewhole
world.

"Bhagavanisinsamadhi,"GuyHaguesaid.

Ilookedaround.Squattingonthefloororsittinginthe
Buddhapostureorlyingprostratefacedown,anumberof
Indiansprayedsomeofthemrecitingtheirmantrasout
loud.Severalsmallmonkeyscameintothehalland
approachedBhagavan.Theyclimbedontohiscouchand
brokethestillnesswiththeirgaychatter.Helovedanimals
andanykindwasrespectedandwelcomedbyhiminthe
ashram.Theyweretreatedasequalsofhumansand
alwaysaddressedbytheirnames.Sickanimalswere
broughttoBhagavanandkeptbyhimonhiscouchoron
thefloorbesidehimuntiltheywerewell.Manyanimals
haddiedinhisarms.WhenIwastherehehadamuch
lovedcowwhowanderedinandoutofthehall,andoften
laydownbesidehimandlickedhishand.Helovedtotell
storiesaboutthegoodnessofanimals.Itwasremarkable
thatnoneoftheanimalseverfoughtorattackedeach
other.

AfterIhadbeensittingseveralhoursinthehalllistening
tothemantrasoftheIndiansandtheincessantdroningof
flies,andlostinasortofinnerworld,GuyHague
suggestedthatIgoandsitneartheMaharshi.Hesaid,
"YoucannevertellwhenBhagavanwillcomeoutof
samadhi.Whenhedoes,Iamsurehewillbepleasedto
seeyou,anditwillbebeneficialforyou,atthismoment,
tobesittingnearhim."

ImovednearBhagavan,sittingathisfeetandfacinghim.
Guywasright.NotlongafterthisBhagavanopenedhis
eyes.Hemovedhisheadandlookeddirectlydownatme,
hiseyeslookingintomine.Itwouldbeimpossibleto
describethismomentandIamnotgoingtoattemptit.I
canonlysaythatatthissecondIfeltmyinnerbeing
raisedtoanewlevelasif,suddenly,mystateof
consciousnesswasliftedtoamuchhigherdegree.
PerhapsinthissplitsecondIwasnolongermyhuman
selfbuttheSelf.ThenBhagavansmiledatme.Itseemed
tomethatIhadneverbeforeknownwhatasmilewas.I
said,"Ihavecomealongwaytoseeyou."

Therewassilence.Ihadstupidlybroughtapieceofpaper
onwhichIhadwrittenanumberofquestionsIwantedto
askhim.Ifumbledforitinmypocket,butthequestions
werealreadyansweredbymerelybeinginhispresence.

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Therewasnoneedforquestionsoranswers.
Nevertheless,mydullintellectexpressedone.

"Tellme,whomshallIfollowwhatshallIfollow?Ihave
beentryingtofindthisoutforyearsbyseekingin
religions,inphilosophies,inteachings."Againtherewas
silence.Afterafewminutes,whichseemedtomealong
time,hespoke.

"Youarenottellingthetruth.Youarejustusingwordsjust
talking.Youknowperfectlywellwhomtofollow.Whydo
youneedmetoconfirmit?"

"YoumeanIshouldfollowmyinnerself?"Iasked.

"Idon'tknowanythingaboutyourinnerself.Youshould
followtheSelf.Thereisnothingornooneelsetofollow."

Iaskedagain,"Whataboutreligions,teachers,gurus?"

"IftheycanhelpinthequestoftheSelf.Butcanthey
help?Canreligion,whichteachesyoutolookoutside
yourself,whichpromisesaheavenandarewardoutside
yourself,canthishelpyou?Itisonlybydivingdeepinto
thespiritualHeartthatonecanfindtheSelf."Heplaced
hisrighthandonhisrightbreastandcontinued,"Herelies
theHeart,thedynamic,spiritualHeart.ItiscalledHridaya
andislocatedontherightsideofthechestandisclearly
visibletotheinnereyeofanadeptonthespiritualpath.
ThroughmeditationyoucanlearntofindtheSelfinthe
caveofthisHeart."

ItisastrangethingbutwhenIwasveryyoung,Ignacio
Zuloagasaidtome,"Allgreatpeoplefunctionwiththe
heart."Heplacedhishandovermyphysicalheartand
continued,"See,hereliestheheart.Alwaysrememberto
thinkwithit,tofeelwithit,andaboveall,tojudgewithit."

ButtheEnlightenedOneraisedthecounseltoahigher
level.Hesaid,"FindtheSelfintherealHeart."

Both,justattherightmomentinmylife,showedmethe
way.PeoplewouldsaytoBhagavan,"Iwouldliketofind
God."Hisanswerwas:"FindtheSelffirstandthenyou
won'thavetoworryaboutGod."Andonceamansaidto
him,"Idon'tknowwhethertobeaCatholicoraBuddhist."

Bhagavanaskedhim,"Whatareyounow?"

Heanswered,"IamaCatholic."

Hethensaid,"GohomeandbeagoodCatholicandthen
youwillknowwhetheryoushouldbeaBuddhistornot."

BhagavanpointedouttomethattherealSelfistimeless.
"But,"hesaid,"inspiteofignorance,nomantakes
seriouslythefactofdeath.Hemayseedeatharoundhim,
buthestilldoesnotbelievethathewilldie.Hebelieves,
orrather,feels,insomestrangewaythatdeathisnotfor
him.Onlywhenthebodyisthreateneddoeshefalla
victimtothefearofdeath.Everymanbelieveshimselfto
beeternal,andthisisactuallythetruth.Thistruthasserts
itselfinspiteofman'signorantbeliefthatthebodyisthe
Self."
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Iaskedhimhowtoprayforotherpeople.Heanswered,"If
youareabidingwithintheSelf,therearenootherpeople.
YouandIarethesame.WhenIprayforyouIprayfor
myselfandwhenIprayformyselfIprayforyou.Real
prayeristoabidewithintheSelf.Thisisthemeaningof
TatTwamAsiThatThouArt.Therecanbenoseparation
intheSelf.Thereisnoneedforprayerforyourselforany
personotherthantoabidewithintheSelf."

Isaid,"Bhagavan,yousaythatIamtotakeupthesearch
fortheSelfbyAtmaVichara,askingmyselfthequestion
WhoAmI?MayIaskwhoareyou?"Bhagavananswered,
"WhenyouknowtheSelf,the'I''You''He'and'She'
disappear.TheymergetogetherinpureConsciousness."

NoticingonetimewhatIthoughtweresomeevillooking
priestswhohadcomefromthetemple,Iremarkedon
themtoBhagavan.Hesaid,"Whatdoyoumeanbyevil?I
donotknowthedifferencebetweenwhatyoucallgood
andevil.Tometheyareboththesamethingjustthe
oppositesidesofthecoin."Ishouldhaveknownthis.
Bhagavanwas,ofcourse,beyondduality.Hewasbeyond
loveandhatred,beyondgoodandevil,andbeyondall
pairsofopposites.

TowriteofthisexperiencewithBhagavan,torecapture
andrecordallthathesaid,orallthathissilencesimplied,
isliketryingtoputtheinfiniteintoaneggcup.Onesmall
chaptercannotinanywaydohimjusticeorgivean
impressionofhisenlightenment,andIdonotthinkthatI
amfarenoughspirituallyadvancedifatalltotryto
interprethissupremeknowledge.Onmehehad,andstill
has,aprofoundinfluence.Ifeelitpresumptuoustosayhe
changedmylife.Mylifewasperhapsnotsoimportantas
allthis.ButIdefinitelysawlifedifferentlyafterIhadbeen
inhispresence,apresencethatjustbymerely"being"
wassufficientspiritualnourishmentforalifetime.Itmay
havebeenthatwhenIreturnedfromIndia,undiscerning
peoplesawverylittlechangeinme.Buttherewasa
changeatransformationofmyentireconsciousness.And
howcouldithavebeenotherwise?Ihadbeeninthe
atmosphereofanegoless,worlddetached,and
completelypurebeing.

IsatinthehallwithBhagavanthreedaysandthree
nights.Sometimeshespoketomeothertimeshewas
silentandIdidnotinterrupthissilence.Oftenhewasin
samadhi.Iwantedtostayontherewithhimbutfinallyhe
toldmethatIshouldgobacktoAmerica.Hesaid,"There
willbewhatwillbecalleda'war,'butwhich,inreality,will
beagreatworldrevolution.Everycountryandevery
personwillbetouchedbyit.YoumustreturntoAmerica.
YourdestinyisnotinIndiaatthistime."Beforeleaving
theashram,Bhagavangavemesomeverseshehad
selectedfromtheYogaVasishta.Hesaidtheycontained
theessenceforthepathofapurelife.

"Steadyinthestateoffullness,whichshineswhenall
desiresaregivenup,andpeacefulinthestateoffreedom
inlife,actplayfullyintheworld,ORaghava!"

"Inwardlyfreefromalldesires,dispassionateand
detached,butoutwardlyactiveinalldirections,act
playfullyintheworld,ORaghava!"

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"Freefromegoism,withminddetachedasinsleep,pure
likethesky,everuntainted,actplayfullyintheworld,O
Raghava!"

"Conductingyourselfnoblywithkindlytenderness,
outwardlyconformingtoconventions,butinwardly
renouncingall,actplayfullyintheworld,ORaghava!"

"Quiteunattachedatheartbutforallappearanceactingas
withattachment,inwardlycoolbutoutwardlyfulloffervour,
actplayfullyintheworld,ORaghava!"

IsorrowfullysaidfarewelltoBhagavan.AsIwasleaving
hesaid,"Youwillreturnhereagain."Iwonder.Sincehis
physicalpresencehasgoneIwonderifIshall.YetoftenI
feelthepullofArunachalaasthoughitweredrawingme
back.Ifeelthepullofthatsacredhillofwhichhewasso
muchapartandwherehismortalbodyliesburied.

BEFORELEAVINGTHEASHRAMIwrotedownseveral
questionsforGuyHaguetoaskBhagavanthatIhadnot
hadachancetoaskmyself.Ihadbeenbotheredbythe
factthatsomanysaintsandenlightenedpeoplehadbeen
illandsufferingphysically.Iasked,"Shouldtheynothave
perfectbodiesandwhydotheynotcurethemselves?"In
EuropeIgotaletterfromGuysayinghehaddiscussed
myquestionwithBhagavan.Hewrote:"Bhagavantoldme
totellyouthatthespirituallyperfectpersonneednot
necessarilyhaveaperfectbody.Thereason,ashe
explainedit,isverysimple.

"Yousee,theego,thebodyandthemindarethesame
thing.Thespirituallyperfectperson,likeBhagavan,is
abovethesethreethings.Consequentlyhehas..nobody
toheal,neitheramindoregotohealitwith.Heisbeyond
allthisbecauseitisillusion.HeislivinginReality.
ChristianScientistscantakethemindandhealthebody
fortheyarethesamething.AmericanIndiansheal,too,in
thismanner.Itisfaithhealing.

"Butifthespirituallyperfectpersonissickinbodyitis
becausethebodyisworkingoutitskarma.Bhagavan
gaveanillustrationofkarma,whichhesaysislikean
electricfanandmustjustrunitscourse,onlygradually
ceasingevenafterithasbeenturnedoff.Hesaysthe
mindisbornintoillusionandbuildsabodyandaworldto
suititthatis,aworldthatithasearnedanddeserves(by
itskarma).Bhagavan,knowingthebodyandthemindto
beillusion,cannotexperienceanybodilyailmentor
discomfort.Wemakehimsufferpain,lossofweight,etc.
Itisinourminds,nothis.Heisactuallybodiless,though
youandIcannotrealizethisasafact."

InanotherletterGuyansweredmyquestions,whichledto
others.HewrotedownmyquestionsandBhagavan's
answers.

Question:Isreincarnationafact?Bhagavan:Youare
incarnatednow,aren'tyou?Thenyouwillbesoagain.But
asthebodyisillusionthentheillusionwillrepeatitselfand
keeponrepeatingitselfuntilyoufindtherealSelf.

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Question:Whatisdeathandwhatisbirth?Bhagavan:
Onlythebodyhasdeathandbirth,andit(thebody)is
illusion.Thereis,inReality,neitherbirthnordeath.

Question:Howmuchtimemayelapsebetweendeathand
rebirth?Bhagavan:Perhapsoneisrebornwithinayear,
threeyearsorthousandsofyears.Whocansay?Anyway
whatistime?Timedoesnotexist.

Question:Whyhavewenomemoryofpastlives?
Bhagavan:Memoryisafacultyofthemindandpartofthe
illusion.Whydoyouwanttorememberotherlivesthatare
alsoillusions?IfyouabidewithintheSelf,thereisnopast
orfutureandnotevenapresentsincetheSelfisoutof
timetimeless.

Question:Aretheworld,themind,egoandthebodyall
thesamething?Bhagavan:Yes.Theyareoneandthe
samething.Themindandtheegoareonething,butthere
isnowordtoexplainthis.Yousee,theworldcannotexist
withoutthemind,themindcannotexistwithoutwhatwe
calltheego(itself,really)andtheegocannotexistwithout
abody.

Question:Thenwhenweleavethisbody,thatiswhenthe
egoleavesit,willit(theego)immediatelygraspanother
body?Bhagavan:Oh,yes,itmust.Itcannotexistwithout
abody.

Question:Whatsortofabodywillitgraspthen?
Bhagavan:Eitheraphysicalbodyorasubtlementalbody.

Question:Doyoucallthispresentphysicalbodythegross
body?Bhagavan:Onlytodistinguishittosetitapartin
conversation.Itisreallyasubtlementalbodyalso.

Question:Whatcausesustobereborn?Bhagavan:
Desires.Yourunfulfilleddesiresbringyouback.Andin
eachcaseineachbodyasyourdesiresarefulfilled,you
createnewones.Youmustconquerdesiretobeabsorbed
intotheOneandthusendrebirth.

Question:Cansexchangeinrebirth?Bhagavan:Oh,
surely.Wehaveallbeenbothsexesmanytimes.

Question:Isitpossibletosin?Bhagavan:Havingabody,
whichcreatesillusion,istheonlysin,andthebodyisour
onlyhell.Butitisrightthatweobservemorallaws.The
discussionofsinistoodifficultforafewlines.

Question:DoesonewhohasrealizedtheSelflosethe
senseof"I"?Bhagavan:Absolutely.

Question:Thentoyouthereisnodifferencebetween
yourselfandmyself,thatmanoverthere,myservantare
allthesame?Bhagavan:Allarethesame,includingthose
monkeys.

Question:Butthemonkeysarenotpeople.Aretheynot
different?Bhagavan:Theyareexactlythesameas
people.AllcreaturesarethesameinOneConsciousness.

Question:Doweloseourindividualitywhenwemergeinto
theSelf?Bhagavan:ThereisnoindividualityintheSelf.
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TheSelfisOneSupreme.

Question:Thenindividualityandidentityarelost?
Bhagavan:Youdon'tretainthemindeepsleep,doyou?

Question:Butweretainthemfromonebirthtoanother,
don'twe?Bhagavan:Oh,yes.The"I"thought(theego)
willrecuragain,onlyeachtimeyouidentifywithita
differentbodyanddifferentsurroundingsaroundthebody.
Theeffectsofpastacts(karma)willcontinuetocontrol
thenewbodyjustastheydidtheoldone.Itiskarmathat
hasgivenyouthisparticularbodyandplaceditina
particularfamily,race,sex,surroundingsandsoforth.
Bhagavanadded,"Thesequestionsaregood,buttellde
Acosta(healwayscalledmedeAcosta)shemustnot
becometoointellectualaboutthesethings.Itisbetterjust
tomeditateandhavenothought.Letthemindrestquietly
ontheSelfinthecaveoftheSpiritualHeart.Soonthiswill
becomenaturalandthentherewillbenoneedfor
questions.Donotimaginethatthismeansbeinginactive.
Silenceistheonlyrealactivity."ThenGuyadded,
"Bhagavansaystotellyouthathesendsyouhis
blessings."

Thismessagegreatlycomfortedme.

OnmywaybacktoEuropemyboatstoppedatPortSaid.
IlandedthereandmotoredacrossthedeserttoCairo
whereIstayedthreedaysandthencaughttheshipagain
whenitdockedatAlexandria.

InCairoIstayedattheoldfamousShepherdHotel.I
spentonedayinthemuseumseeingtheTutAnkhAmon
collection,andtheseconddayIrodeoutbycameltosee
theSphinxandtheGreatPyramid.WhenIreachedthe
Pyramiditwasnearlysunset.Therewasnoonearound
exceptmyowndragomanandoneortwoArabssleeping
againsttheirkneelingcamels.Idecidedtoclimbtothetop
ofthePyramid.Althoughittoweredaboveme,taperingoff
intothesky,andlookedterriblyhigh,Ididnotrealizehow
highitwasuntilIstartedclimbing.Istartedoutbrisklybut
afteracertaindistanceIgrewtiredandmypace
slackened.ThestepsofthePyramidareverynarrowand
eroded,butIwasdeterminedtoreachthetop.Thoroughly
exhausted,Ifinallydid.Thesunhadalreadygonedown.I
turnedandlookeddownthesteepandawesomeslopeof
thePyramid.SuddenlyIwasovercomebythemost
frightfulvertigo.MyheadswamandIfeltthatIwasgoing
toplungetomydeath.Icrouchedonthenarrowstepsand
clungtothetopofthePyramidsofiercelythatmynails
brokeagainstthestoneandmyfingersbled.Icouldnot
bringmyselftolookdownagain.Anagonizingfeartook
holdofme.Ifeltcoldsweatpouringovermyface,neck
andback.Ibecamehysterical.WhatwasItodo?Iknew
ifIletgoIwouldfall,butIalsoknewIcouldnotholdon
muchlonger.Iclosedmyeyes.Irememberedwhatthe
MaharshisaidtodivedeepintotheSpiritualHeart.I
summonedeveryfacultyandallpowerwithinmeand
concentratedontheHeart.SuddenlyIsawit,likeagreat
lightinmymind'seye.InthecenterIsawtheMaharshi's
facesmilingatme.InstantlyIfeltcalm.Iturnedand
lookeddown.FarbelowIsawamanwavingatme.I
loosenedonehandandhelditovermyhead,thenIwaved
back.Themanbegancallingsomeoneelse.Anotherman

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rantohim.Swiftlytheybegantoclimb.Theyclimbed
expertlyandfastbutitseemedhourstome.Probablyit
tookthemaboutthirtyfiveminutestoreachme.Oneman
hadarope.Hetieditaroundmywaistandgentlystroked
myface.HemumbledsomewordsthatIcouldnot
understand,butIknewtheywerekindwordstoencourage
me.Betweenthem,eachoneholdingtheropeasthough
weweremountainclimbing,webegantodescend.
Eventuallywereachedthebottomsafely.Sometimeafter
thisIwastoldbyanenlightenedpersonthatclimbingthe
GreatPyramidwasconsideredinancientEgyptoneofthe
"feartests"whichstudentshadtopassinordertobe
initiatedintothegreatreligiousmysteries.Aspirantswere
requiredtoclimbtotheverytopofthePyramid,andifon
reachingthetopofitheorshecouldconquerfear,this
particulartestwaswon.

BhagavanRamanaMaharshidiedonAprilFourteenth,
1950.Hehadsaid,"Iamgoingaway?WherecouldIgo?I
amhere."Bytheword"here"hedidnotimplyany
limitation.Hemeantrather,thattheSelf'is'.Thereisno
going,orcoming,orchanginginthatwhichischangeless
andUniversal.Ishouldnothaveregardedhisdeathasa
blow.HowcouldIlosehim?Howcanoneloseanyone?
HowcanonelosethatwhichisEternal?Itisonlyinthe
firstshock,andgrippedintheillusionofdeath,thatone
grievesforthephysicalpresence.Yet,millionsinIndia
mournedtheMaharshi.Alongarticleabouthisdeathin
theNewYorkTimesendedwith,"HereinIndia,where
thousandsofsocalledholymenclaimclosetunewiththe
infinite,itissaidthatthemostremarkablethingabout
RamanaMaharshiwasthatheneverclaimedanything
remarkableforhimself,yetbecameoneofthemostloved
andrespectedofall."

MercedesdeAcostawasbornin1898anddiedin1968.

NOTE

1.QuotedonthewebsiteMr.Showbiz.

SOURCEOFTHISARTICLE

ReprintedwithpermissionfromTheMaharshi,Vol.4Nos.
5and6(Sept./Oct.andNov./Dec.1994),whichinturn
reprinteditfromHereLiestheHeart,DeAcosta's
autobiographypublishedin1960.Copyright1960
MercedesDeAcostaothercopyrightsmayalsoapply.

ForinformationaboutTheMaharshi,clickhere.

FURTHERREADING

BiographyofMercedesDeAcosta
OnthewebsiteofCelebrityPagebyLaurenceFrommer.

http://realization.org/page/doc0/doc0039.htm 9/10
6/1/2017 Realization.org:MyMeetingWithRamanaMaharshibyMercedesDeAcosta

SriRamanaMaharshi
MainpageonthiswebsiteforRamanaMaharshi.

TalksWithSriRamanaMaharshi
DeAcosta'svisitwithRamanaismentionedinthisbookin
theentryfor15thDecember,1938.

ThispagewaspublishedonRealization.orgonFebruary10,2000and
lastrevisedonSeptember10,2001.

Copyright2001Realization.org.Allrightsreserved.

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