MfA Leadership Experience

Welcome
THANKYOU for participating in what promises to be an exhilarating, thought

provoking, educational leadership opportunity. This Leadership Weekend Experience has
long been recognized as the standard in leadership workshops for music students and
were always raising the bar. So hang on! Youre in for the fastest two days of your life!
Your active participation, level of attention and sense of personal responsibility will
largely impact what you get out of this two-day exploration of student leadership. Not
that you necessarily have a title, position, or are going to be in charge of other people!
Thats not what this experience is all about. But, thats not what leadership is all about
either. If youre looking for that kind of stuff, go to a program on dictatorship.
This program is about LEADERSHIP

increasing your own awareness, understanding, and responsibility of the roles,
characteristics and styles involved in taking the lead to make something happen.
Its about setting an example that others will follow, because you cant lead others until
you lead yourself.
These pages do not have all of the answers. They dont even ask all of the questions.
Thats your job! Guiding you to reflect on your experience and find the answers is the
goal of this printed material. As with anything, your effort and energy will largely
determine what you get out of it. Just reading through the material presented might be
somewhat beneficial, but actively participating in the activities and exercises will create
a more meaningful, memorable and motivating experience. Motivating in the sense that
2010 Fran Kick / www.kickitin.com
you motivate yourself, rather than relying on someone else to get you going. Because
the only true, lasting, meaningful form of motivation is self-motivation, so lets...
KICKITI N & TAKETHELEAD!
2
Fran Kick
Table of CONTENTS
Dual-focus framework of program..............................................4
The many people I met................................................................5
Paying attention / The big picture...............................................7
Defining leadership......................................................................8
Leadership examples..................................................................10
Seeing opportunities to lead......................................................11
Different types of people Different types of leaders.............12
Developing commitment...........................................................14
Trust............................................................................................15
Risk taking / Comfort zones......................................................16
Congruence / Actions speak louder than words / Ego.............17
Opening Session Notes..............................................................18
Frank Crockett Session Notes...................................................19
Raise Your Hand In the Air If You Think Youre a Leader......20
Frank DiLallo Session Notes.....................................................21
Living in Fast Forward . ........................................................22
Understanding Stress ................................................................24
Ten Important Ways to Deal With Stress and Anxiety.............26
Over 101 Ways to Relieve Stress..............................................27
Matt Savage Session Notes........................................................28
Why a Drum Circle?..................................................................29
Panel of Directors Session Notes..............................................30
Norm Logan Session Notes.......................................................31
Its Not Just Playing Around ....................................................32
The Shadow People ..................................................................33
Frank Troyka Session................................................................35
Taking It All Home: Leaving A Legacy....................................36
RPM versus MPH......................................................................37
Obeying the Three Laws of Student Leadership .....................38
I-Me vs. We-Us .........................................................................40
A Straight A Curriculum For Success ...................................42
Tim Lautzenheiser Session Notes.............................................43
Thank you...................................................................................44
3
Thank others...............................................................................45
Theres an intentional effort to tie together or developmentally layer this program into
a cohesive kind of experience. While everyone rotates through various presentations
by different people, there is an intentionally designed dual-focus framework to hang
everything on as we take part in this two-day event together. Without getting into a big
lecture on outcomes, expectations, etc... heres what well be focusing on:
FOCUS #1
Developing the personal leadership needed to TAKE THE LEAD !
Think of this in terms of leading yourself INDIVIDUALLY since we all know
you cant lead others, until you lead yourself and that leading by example is still
the most effective and most needed form of leadership in todays world. Areas such as
self-awareness, paying attention, responding appropriately, putting more into it if you
want to get more out of it all tie into this focus. Individual values such as
consciousness of self, congruence and commitment will also be touched on/addressed.
Well spend time defining leadership, reflecting on what leadership really means
individually to each and every one of us. Well also cover risk taking, comfort zones
and building trust within ourselves as well as in our organizations.
FOCUS #2
Inspiring the self-motivation to KICK IT IN !
Our second focus will be more GROUP oriented. The most effective leaders in any
organization work with people (as opposed to doing things for or to people), interact,
communicate, cooperate, collaborate, develop goals/common purpose, have to deal
with controversy in a civil manner and create a atmosphere of collective community
all tie into this second focus. Everyone will take part in a series of self-reflective
learning activities designed to help build self-awareness and
positive relationships with others. We will also be exploring
the distinction made between intrinsic/extrinsic
motivation and how both impact
individuals as well as groups.
Show respect
Be prepared
Be on time
4
The many
people I met :
5
its not just what you know, but who you know
Old Adage
6
The big
pict ure
Our perception or the way we look at things, influences our awareness more than
anything else. Like the original diagram of only sixteen squares, there is always
the potential for more opportunity in any situation. Some people
pay attention to more than

just what appears.
They have both a sense of detail as well as the big picture that others miss. Their level
of awareness enables them to see more opportunities to make things happen and
TAKETHELEAD!
leadership is about paying attention,

responding appropriately, and
putting more into it.
We are all like that original diagram of only sixteen squares. Each of us has so much
more potential than we see at first. The problem is many people will just stop at sixteen
and say, Thats all I am worth, thats all I can do is sixteen. Thats all I can be is
sixteen. Thats all I have is sixteen. Some people say I found twenty-two, or someone
else will say, Oh thirty! The squares are there. The potential is there to make things
happen. You have the potential to find as many squares as you want in your life, as
many opportunities, ways of doing things, anything you want in the world.
You just have to look for

the opportunities,
make something happen
7 and take the lead!
Defining
LEADER
Leaders are ones who
SHIP
make things happen
and other people follow them .
The best way to define leadership is by way of an example. At a leadership conference

before it began, one person saw that the room was kind of a mess. There were papers
on the floor, a Coke can in the corner, and other miscellaneous remnants of the fact that
an entire day of classes had occurred in this lecture hall. Before the session started, one
person got up out of their chair, went over to pick up a piece of paper and the Coke
can, threw them out and sat back down. Not less than maybe 30-60 seconds later, two
other people got up, went around and picked up some trash near their chairs, threw it out
and sat back down. That first person was leading by the most effective form of leadership
in existence. They were
leading by example.
No one went up to that first person and said, Hello, wed like to appoint you the official
room picker-upper and give you two assistant room picker-uppers. They did not receive
any special consideration, grandiose title, position of perceived importance, extra bonus
points, cash incentive or reward. They took Nikes advice and just did it. No one
even went up to the other two people who helped out and said, Look at that! Did you
see what that person did? Now if you were even half that responsible, aware, or cared,
youd help out too! They didnt get any that-a-boys, pats on the back, gold stars, happy
face stickers or candy bar rewards. They saw someone take the lead and they followed.
Leaders do what needs to be done

when it needs to be done
whether they want to or not
without being asked .
...which in the words of Thomas Huxley is what it takes to be successful in this world.
Its about a different level of awareness more than anything else. Leaders see
opportunities to make something happen and they act on it, they do something,
they make things happen.
Leaders pay attention to more than what just appears. They have both a sense of detail
as well as the big picture that others miss. Leaders always seem to take the initiative
in making things happen because they see opportunities before others do. Consider 8
leadership in business...
FedEx
saw an opportunity for overnight shipping,
made something happen and other people followed.
Dominos
Pizza saw an opportunity for fresh,
hot, pizza delivered in 30 minutes or less,
Chrysler
saw an opportunity for a smaller version of
a full-sized van, made something happen and other people followed.
Ted Turner saw an opportunity for

a TV station with news all day long,
Southwest Airlines
saw
an opportunity for a short haul, low fare, efficient, fun way to fly,
Ben & Jerry saw an opportunity

for homemade, fresh, great-tasting ice cream,
Xerox
saw an opportunity for an easier computer software
interface, Apple made something happen and Microsoft followed.
9
Lets consider
LEADER
examples youre familiar with.
SHIP
What would be some other examples
of leadership that you know? Where someone
saw an opportunity, made something happen
and other people followed...
Consider leadership in sports:
Consider leadership in the arts:
Consider leadership in science:

Consider leadership in history:
10
One person saw an opportunity to clean up the room, they made something happen
by picking up the piece of paper and the Coke can, and other people followed
by helping out in their own way. Can you think of any examples of leadership
within your own group, organization, school and/or community?
How about an example where you yourself saw an opportunity, made something
happen and other people followed?
All of these examples of leadership began with

seeing
seeing an opportunity. It all seems to start
an
opportunity
with a certain level of awareness that people who
take the lead possess. By increasing your own
level of awareness, you will see opportunities to
make things happen

and other people
will follow.
Paying attention at a higher level or
in a different way will increase your chances
of noticing the opportunities that are
all around you every day to take the lead!
Everybody has a leader inside.

11 Robert Reich/Former U.S. Secretary of Labor
Different types of
people
LEADER S
Different
types of
Youve probably heard the saying There are three types of people in the world, those who make
things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder whats happening!
Everyone has varying degrees of how they pay attention to the world around them. Depending
on your level of attention, youll notice the opportunities we discussed earlier. If youre the type
of person who pays attention at a very high level, youll tend to see more opportunities and
therefore make more things happen. If youre the type of person who just pays attention to what
they have to to just get by, then chances are you may notice a few opportunities, but for the
most part youll tend to notice other people making things happen and then youll join in.
If, however, youre the type of person who doesnt pay attention at all, youre not going to even
notice the opportunities, youll occasionally notice other people making things happen, but most
of the time youll wonder whats happening.
Make things Lead

happen
Watch things
happen Attention Follow
Wonder Get out of

whats happening the way
Its your choice based on how well you pay attention. Are you going to make something happen
and take the lead? Are you going to just watch things happen and follow? Or are you going to
wonder whats happening? That first person at the leadership conference was paying attention,
saw an opportunity to make something happen and took the lead. The two other people who were
watching what happened saw the first persons example and followed. Everyone else in the room
probably didnt even notice what happened. Pay attention or get out of the way!
12
What are some areas in your life, activities you participate in, or things that you do to make
things happen?
Are there areas or situations you find yourself in where you watch things happen first,
kind of check it out and then get involved?
When or where do you find yourself wondering whats going on?

13
developing
commitment
Weve all heard the expression before that there is no I in the word team!
Leaders who succeed are consistently committed to doing whats best for the
group, not just themselves. Theres a clear We/Us emphasis about the way
they do things. They go above and beyond to make things happen, focusing
their efforts on what strengthens the groups collective energy towards a
unifying goal or mission. Who can you think of who exemplifies this kind
of leadership perspective?
Leadership is a We/Us game

Commitment:
in a sometimes I/Me world!
Theres no question that it is harder to develop commitment within a group
an act when a leader or member has an I/Me approach to everything they do.
of Commitment, like anything else in a process, evolves from everyone within

the group. It requires the physical and mental investment of time, effort and
honoring
energy from everyone in the organization. Even though every member has
a promise, various reasons for participating in the group, commitment brings them
pledge, together in spite of any differences. Leaders commit to completion. Their
guarantee, follow-through is an attribute of persistence and perseverance which

maintains momentum throughout the organization or community.
or bond
of Every group moves through four stages of development, according to Dr.
responsibility. Jard DeVille in his book The Psychology of Leadership. Each stage or phase
The of development precedes the next in terms of growth. Consider your own
group or organizations evolution through each of the following:
emotional
trust
that forms Confusion
the basis Communication
of any
agreement,
Cooperation
partnership Commitment
or group. Many groups get hung up somewhere between cooperation and commitment.
Individual commitment has a better chance of developing within a group
were people are viewed as resources and intrinsically motivated to achieve a
14
collective We/Us goal or mission.
trust
Trust is absolutely essential in order for any group to develop and grow. Its the glue that enables
commitment to strengthen. When we have a feeling that we can rely on someone based on their
character, ability, caring attitude and the level of confidence they possess we say We can trust
them. Building a consistent atmosphere of unconditional acceptance, caring support
and cooperation within a group enhances trust. How do you know you can trust someone?
What qualities and characteristics do they possess?
How do they deal with others?

Trust and acceptance of others usually begins with accepting and trusting oneself. You can only
give away what you have, and if what you have is a conditional sense of acceptance within the
group and a distrust for yourself then thats what you share with others. And in turn, THATs
what they share with you. What you give to others is what you get in return... If we want people
to accept and trust us, then we need to accept and trust them. What you give is what you get.
You cant trust others until you trust yourself. You have to lead by example! Take a look at
what youve written down above. Can people trust you based on what youve shared?
How do people know they can trust you?
Do you trust you?

Trusting yourself, especially when it comes to taking the lead, challenges your self-confidence.
Do I have what it takes? Will people accept me? Is this a good idea I have? What will happen
to me if I fail? How can I make this work? are but a few of the many questions that race through
your mind. (Notice how many times however the question usually surrounds an I/Me issue.)
trust - everyone asks for it no one wants to give it

Self-trust creates a positive expectation about your own intrinsic motivation and a realistic level
of confidence in your ability. Just like trust, self-trust can vary from situation to situation.
To trust oneself is to see oneself as a person who can cope

and function in the world , a person who does not need to be
15 monitored , guided , advised , or controlled by others
Trudy Govier/Dilemmas of Trust
risk taking
Whenever people are asked to participate (or even consider participating) they are taking
rt
a risk. Most people tend to avoid risks, especially high threat risks such as rejection, comfo
z one
failure, making mistakes and being manipulated or overly controlled. Their fear of risk
(FEAR = False Expectations Appearing Real) is actually an unrealistic perception. SK
RI
Can you think of a false fear you had in the past thats no longer a fear for you?
X
Fear of taking a risk has kept many people from achieving success. Yet conquering our fears
is what sets us apart from every other species on earth. Its the power of our human brain that
allowed us to transcend our primal fear of fire. Since that time weve been conquering fears,
taking risks and expanding our comfort zones illuminating our way out of the cave, around
the world, onto the moon and beyond.
We all deal with risk everyday and therein lies the key to risk taking deal with it appropriately.
Crossing the street is a risk, riding a roller coaster is a risk, asking someone out on a date is a
risk and taking the lead is a risk. Just as a turtle must stick their neck out to take the next step
so too must we all take risks to achieve anything. In reality, the greatest risk of all is never taking
any risks, always playing it safe, following the beaten path of what others have always done.
THATS NOTLEADERSHIP! Leaders appropriately deal with risk to make things happen. They
set an example for others who in turn realize Well, I can do THAT! When in fact, they werent
too sure they could until someone else did it.
You must take risks. and leave the beaten path to wander
through the jungle of creative interaction.
David Johnson/University of Minnesota
Fear keeps us from taking risks every day. Sometimes thats good and sometimes thats bad.
Some people believe fear is only a bad thing, when in reality its just the brain getting us to pay
attention to some risk (real or imagined). As human beings we have the ability to move beyond
the flight-or-fight fear reaction built into the primitive emotional center of the brains limbic
system and rely on the more rational fear response system developed within the brains
neocortex. In other words we can...
feel the fear

think it through
decide what to do
Leaders are more forward thinking and rational when it comes to dealing with their fears. They
see risks as opportunities to be carefully considered in stretching their comfort zones beyond
16
where they thought they could go. They trust themselves to challenge and overcome fear itself.
Theres an expression that What you do screams so loudly I cannot
hear what youre saying! Too many times leaders can talk the talk,
Congruence:
but when it comes time to walking the walk... well... lets just say they
have a tough time living up to their words. Any inconsistency between the quality or state
what a leader supposedly believes in, values, or expects in others and of agreeing,
their own example creates a sense of conflict, a lack of congruency
coinciding or being
which tends to destroy credibility, respect, and trust within a group.
If you say what you mean and you consistent.
mean what you say, then you must do Congruence refers
what you believe and believe what you do to thinking, feeling
to be true to the you that is YOU !
and behaving
actions with honesty,
speak
louder
words ...
than
authenticity and
genuineness
toward others.
One of the biggest challenges when it comes to maintaining congruence relates to the leaders
focus on themselves vs. the group. Sometimes leaders actually emerge, come to the front, or take
the lead because they only see a benefit for themselves. What motivates them might be a selfish
reason such as: Itll look good on my resume. Ill get to call the shots! I wont have to do anything
except tell other people what to do and when to do it. I want the attention, glamour & glory
of being in charge! Can you think of other selfish reasons that some people want to be leaders?
Ego
This kind of attitude where the predominant theme of a leader is What will I get out of it?
or Whats in it for me? sets up an I/Me kind of vision in the eyes of the leader. The leader
is perceived by the group as only doing whats good for the individual leader rather than for the entire
organization. The only mission the leader seems to be on is one for his or her own ego gratification.
Extrinsically or intrinsically, no matter what the motive, it always seems to be for the benefit of the
leader and not necessarily of the group. Taken to an extreme this kind of attitude can actually prevent
the group or organization from being successful because the leaders only worried about one thing...
himself or herself numero uno!
when science finally locates the center of the universe,

some people will be surprised to learn they are not it !
Anonymous
17
avoid having your ego so close to your position
Colin L. Powell/Former U.S. Secretary of State
Opening Session
with Fran Kick
Jamie Weaver
Norm Ruebling
This space is being provided for you to record your thoughts, take notes, reflect back on what
happened and highlight the key ideas youll want to bring home.
Notes:
What would you say is the most important thing you learned in this session?
18
Session with
Frank
Crockett
Notes:
19
Raise Your Hand In the Air If You Think
Youre a Leader
By Frank Crockett
Raise your hand in the air if you think youre a

leader. Now seriously, raise your hand in the
air if you think youre a leader, this is the
correct answer. You see, every time you say
something or do something, it influences
somebody in some way. There is power in our
words. Knowing this the question is, are you
responsible for bringing people up into a
positive productive direction or are you taking
that power and bringing them down into a
negative destructive direction. We have been
empowered with the gift of words. There are
words that inspire us and words that can tear
us down. The funny thing about words is that
they not only effect and outside response or
decision for people but are even more effective
to the hearts and minds of people. Dont ever
underestimate the power of your words, choose
to use them wisely.
The old saying goes treat others the way you

want to be treated. That my friend is
leadership. Leadership is not the guy or gal
who stands up front and calls the shots.
Leadership is seeing a need and responding
appropriately to it. Where do we learn how to
respond? From the people in front of us, why
do we need to respond? Because of the people
behind us. Leadership is taking the initiative to
serve others and make them more important
then yourselves. That, not only effects the
direction you are going but, everyone you
come in contact with. If we all lived by this
simple rule, the world would be a better place.
2010 Frank Crockett
20
Session with
Frank
DiLall o
Notes:
21
Living in
Fast Forward
By Frank DiLallo, M.Ed., LPC
There is more to life than increasing its The accelerated pace of life we live in has
speed. Mahatma Gandhi become normative and pushes us in many
directions, to the brink of exhaustion. There is
We are monumentally distracted by a a tendency for us to easily become irritable,
pervasive technological culture that appears to agitated, less tolerant, impatient, mean, nasty,
have a life of its own, one that insists on our rude, angry, frustrated and so on. In essence
full attention, continually seducing us and this pace we get caught up in is harsh, cruel
pulling us away from the opportunity to and will relentlessly stop for no one. How a
experience directly the true meaning of our person treats him/herself and others results in a
own lives. Al Gore profound rippling effect and not necessarily a
positive one, unless we do something to take
Learn to pauseor nothing worthwhile will charge of our own stress levels.
catch up to you. Doug Kling
The physical, mental, emotional and spiritual
Ones action ought to come out of an achieved damage of unmanaged stress has tremendous
stillness; not to be a mere rushing on. implications. I will discuss this more thorough-
D. H. Lawrence ly in the next chapter on stress.
It is an old ironic habit of human beings to Why are we so driven? Where are we going?
run faster when we have lost our way. Whats the rush? Is it the rush (high) from the
Rollo May rush? What are the implications surrounding
this accelerated pace of life? What is the cost
To be idle requires a strong sense of personal to the human spirit? What is at risk if we took
identity. Robert Louis Stevenson time to slow down? What would happen if we
were to do nothing?
You no longer spend your life hurrying
around the corner for something which is I often ask people in passing, how they are
never there. Rex Harrison doing, and I find myself doing a bit of unscien-
tific research around their responses. My
The trouble with life in the fast lane is that unscientific research seems to convey that the
you get to the other end in an awful hurry. responses are very different, but all say pretty
John Jensen much the same thing. What I frequently hear
are comments such as: I am really busy,
you? or the more hurried version, Busy,
you? Or the even more hurried version,
Busy, and as they walk away the message is
too busy to talk with you. More versions of
the same include: Cant tell if I am coming or
going, Not enough hours in the day,
Hectic, Crazy, Up to my eyeballs, so
much to do, so little time, complete chaos,
2010 Frank DiLallo / www.thepeaceproject.us
get me off this treadmill, and same old

busyness, These last two are my favorites: no
time to breathe and I dont even have time to
take a sh!#. If these last two are true they are
in deep trouble.
What really strikes me about these quips is

how it is said. These witticisms are usually a
cross between wearing a badge of pride and a
cry for help masked by a smile or laughter.
Our culture appears to have created the notion
that ones worth and sense of importance is
directly associated with how busy he/she is.
Very rarely does anyone subscribe to the old
adage: The more I do the less I am, or the
less I do, the more I am. 22
I am not sure who said these very profound 5. Why do you think physical headaches
statements, however it seems clear to me that occur? What messages do you think headaches
they are speaking of how busyness keeps us send us?
disconnected from each other and ourselves.
Even though it seems to fill up a lot of empty
space, busyness in and of itself is an empty
course of action. Weve all bought into the
radio airwave philosophy that silence or dead
air space makes your audience turn off.
I must say, it is rather ironic that most all med- 6. What are some natural ways to help a head-
itation suggests finding stillness, silence, emp- ache instead of taking a pain reliever?
tying the mind and becoming void of thought.
Our culture is promoting the total antithesis of
what meditation calls for.
I am not going to be so pretentious in thinking

several stress management techniques provided
here is the answer. However, it is doubtful 7. What are some of the activities that you
we will see the illustrious pace of our world already do that help you feel good about
slowing down any time in the near future. If yourself?
anything the pace continues to accelerate on a
daily basis. No one will slow down the world
or manage our stress for us. Taking an active
role in noticing our inner world is a necessary
part of achieving wholeness and health at
every level and in every aspect of our lives.
Discussion Questions 8. What are some other things you would like
to do to build self confidence?
1. What does leading a balanced life mean to you?
2. What do we do in our family that promotes 9. Why do some people use alcohol, tobacco,
balance? Imbalance? and/or other drugs to try to feel good about
themselves?
3. What does food have to do with our mood, 10. What do advertisements and commercials
2010 Frank DiLallo / www.thepeaceproject.us
attitude, or health? have to do with how we feel about ourselves?
4. Where does stress show up in your body? 11. Who do you feel most supports you in
being the best person you can be? How often
do you spend time with this person?
Or persons?
23
Understanding
Stress
We live in a nervous, restless age, ourselves pill as their first and only option. I will provide
fragmented as we glance at one another more on other options when I go through
We are forced to see our own and other relaxation techniques in chapter five.
peoples lives in side glances; we ask for the
essence, not the paragraph. V. S. Pritchett Maladaptive approaches to dealing with stress
include: Alcohol, tobacco and other drug
Future shock [is] the shattering stress and abuse, eating disorders, thievery, difficulty
disorientation that we induce in individuals by coping, pregnancy, angry outburst and violent
subjecting them to too much change in too behaviors. I often ask students what they see
short a time. Alvin Toffler happening in movies when a person is in crisis.
They are quick to say this person usually ends
Im a study of a man in chaos in search of up in a bar or somewhere consuming alcoholic
frenzy. Oscar Levant beverages or drugging to try and cope.
I hypothesized in the mid 1980s that stress Drinking alcohol or using chemicals, usually
has something to do with specific behaviors prescription is normalized in our culture as a
notable among youth and teaching skills on way to cope with everyday struggles. We will
how to manage stress could be a positive here people say, Ive had a very stressful
addiction. I noticed in every presentation I week I could use a stiff drink or you look
did on this topic how well students responded like you could use a drink. T.V. commercials
to the relaxation/visualization techniques. It regarding chemical usage for depression are all
was as if they were innately yearning for an too frequent today. There are many powerful
opportunity to slow down and not necessarily media messages about dealing with conflict in
become hyped up. This is contrary to what I unhealthy ways such as this.
here many educators who feel they have to
entertain students in their classroom. Having students experience relaxation/visualization
is a wonderful opportunity to discuss with
When doing my presentation in schools or them and persuade them away from the use of
other venues, either in an assembly format or illicit substances. Students begin to realize
during a class period, I speak with students from first hand knowledge they have the ability
about the pace of our world and engage in dia- to access altered states of consciousness in a
logue about what causes them stress. I am healthy way. This approach will only enhance
always impressed with how candid students self-esteem and well being as opposed to
are about their stressful lives and the causal eroding self-image, as chemical usage will do.
factors involved. Together we explore the
upside and the downside of stress and the If youth, just like adults do not have healthy
implications it has on our physical, mental, coping strategies and support in discharging
emotional, social and spiritual health. feelings surrounding their many stressors,
unhealthy attempts to relieve stress fill the
I am always struck by the responses of stu- void. I will discuss maladaptive approaches to
2010 Frank DiLallo / www.cdbaby.com/cd/dilallo
dents when we discuss physiological reactions dealing with stress and healthy ways to
to stress. When asked how many have experi- increase coping ability.
enced headaches, there are rarely any hands
not up. When asked, What do you usually Jerrold S. Greenberg, in his book titled:
think about when you have a headache, other Comprehensive Stress Management, Seventh
than, this hurts and I want it to go away? Edition, defines stress as the combination of a
The usual answer is at least ten different brand stressor and stress reactivity. Stress occurs
names of painkillers. from a multitude of stimuli, however it is how
we view and/or react to this stimulus. For
This becomes a wonderful opening for discus- instance, two students get an F on an exam.
sion into advertisements and covert commer- One student reacts to the F by berating
cial influences. I want students to become himself and projecting into the future about
conscious of the insidious and yet overt moti- how he will never make it into med school.
vation behind commercials and how they are The second student views the F as an
targets of some very intense manipulation. My opportunity to learn from her mistake and talk
ultimate goal is to get students thinking about with the teacher about study skills for future
other options before they think of popping a test taking. 24
Greenberg goes on to state that, We most 6. How do you manage your stress now?
likely experience the ill effects of stress reac-
tivity due to the duration and degree of stress.
How long we experience a stressor and the
intensity of that stressor could cause any of the
following symptoms according to Greenberg:
Increased muscle tension

Increased heart rate 7. Why is coping with life situations in a healthy
Stroke volume, and output way so important short-term and long-term?
Elevated blood pressure
Increased neural excitability
Less saliva in the mouth
Increased sodium retention
Increased perspiration
Change in respiratory rate
Increased serum glucose
Increased release of hydrochloric acid 8. What ways has this CD helped you better
in the stomach manage your stress?
Changes in brain waves
Increased urination
Immune System Deficiencies
Four out of five people are more in need of

rest than exercise. Dr. Logan Clendening
Discussion Questions
1. How does stress benefit you?
2. How can it be a detriment?
3. What time in your life have you felt the most

stress?
4. What was happening that caused this?
5. What did you do to manage your stress?
25
Ten Important Ways to Deal With Stress
and Anxiety
Stress and anxiety are a part of everyday life 7. Create balance in your life
for most of us. There are steps you can take to
help yourself feel better, take action and gain We live in a 24/7 work-a-day world. Find a
some control. way to unplug all the technology and find
balance in your life. Even if you only did #2
1. Breathe a few times a day it would be a way to
separate from all the busyness. Its really okay
When we get tense, we tend to breathe in a to slow down.
very shallow manner. This actually increases
stress and anxiety. Try this exercise breathe 8. Be clear with your boundaries
in through your nose for the count of 4, hold
for 7, exhale through our nose for 8. Repeat Learn to say no. Know your limits. Know what
four times. Your heart rate and blood pressure you will and wont do. Doing things you don't
will drop markedly and you'll feel refreshed! want to do fuels stress and anxiety. Be true to
yourself and you will reduce stress in your life.
2. Exercise
9. Do something different
Daily exercise increases endorphins, reduces
the amount of cortisol and adrenaline and cre- When we get engrossed in routine activities
ates a sense of well being. Dance, run, kick this often causes routine outcomes. If I do the
box, bike, do something you find fun to get same thing over and over, I am likely to get the
the blood flowing. same results over and over. This can lead to
frustration or even indifference. Jazz up your
3. Eat well life by doing something out of your ordinary
routine. Try a new type of food, meet someone
Caffeine, sugar, alcohol can all add to stress in new, check out some new scenery, or listen to
your body. Reduce or get rid of caffeine, music you usually wouldn't listen to.
reduce sugar and drink it in moderation.
Alcohol has the potential to cause many 10. Remember
adverse effects and is not a good option for
stress reduction. Its also against the law for Its our thoughts and beliefs that create the
those under 21. Eat healthfully and drink plen- negative effects of stress. Reflect for a moment
ty of water to keep yourself hydrated. about what beliefs may be running your life
right now. Which beliefs are you willing to let
4. Talk to others go of? If so, when? Whatever your mind can
conceive, you can achieve!
When you share your stresses with others,
they decrease and it is often comforting to
know you are not alone.

5. Change what you are saying to yourself
When stressed or anxious we tend to do a lot

of awfulizing. Lot's of questions and doubts
seep in. STOP! Change the thought by being
kind and compassionate with yourself.
Positively talk yourself through it as if you
were talking with someone you love.
6. Relax
Find ways to incorporate relaxation into your

everyday life. Meditation, a quiet walk on the
beach, yoga, peaceful reading. Do whatever
makes you feel truly, deeply relaxed.
26
Over 101 Ways to Relieve Stress
Get up 15 minutes earlier Prepare for the morning

the night before Avoid tight fitting clothes Set
appointments ahead Write a poem Dont rely on
memory...write it down Practice preventive mainte-
nance Make duplicate keys Say no more often
Set priorities in your life Avoid negative people Use
time wisely Simplify meal times Always make cop-
ies of important papers Dont worry be happy
Anticipate your needs Repair things that dont work
properly Break large tasks into bite-size portions
Look at problems as challenges Unclutter your life
Smile Be prepared for rain Rest Tickle a baby
Pet a friendly dog/cat Dont know all the answers
Slow down Look for the silver lining Say some-
thing nice to someone Meditate Teach a kid to fly a
kite Walk in the rain Schedule playtime into every
day Take a bubble bath Be aware of the decisions
you make Make good ones Believe in yourself
Stop saying negative things to yourself Make a snow
angel Visualize yourself winning Develop your
sense of humor Stop thinking tomorrow will be a
better day Make goals for yourself Dance a jig
Say hello to a stranger Let go! Ask a friend for a
hug Look up at the stars Practice breathing slowly
Learn to whistle a tune Listen to a symphony
Watch a ballet Read a story curled up in bed Do a
brand new thing Stop a bad habit Buy yourself a
flower Sigh Take time to smell the flower Find
support from others Ask someone to be your vent
partner Do it today Pay attention to your appear-
ance Play at being cheerful and optimistic Put safe-
ty first Try yoga Quit trying to please everyone
Do everything in moderation Strive for excellence
not perfection Stretch your limits a little each day
Look at a work of art Hum a jingle Maintain your
weight Plant a tree Feed the birds Practice grace
under pressure Stand up and stretch Always have a
plan B Learn a new doodle Memorize a joke Be
responsible for your own feelings Learn to meet your
own needs Become a better listener Tell someone
have a good day in Pig Latin Practice staying in

the here and now Throw a paper airplane Exercise
every day Learn the words to a new song Sing it in
the shower Get to work early Clean out one closet
Play patty cake with a toddler Go on a picnic Take
a different route to work Leave work early (with per-
mission) Put air freshener in your car Watch a
movie and eat popcorn Write a note to a far away
friend Walk in the woods Go to a ball game and
scream Cook a meal and eat it by candlelight
Remember that stress is an attitude Keep a journal
Practice a monster smile Remember you always have
options Have a support network Quit trying to fix
other people Get enough sleep Talk less and listen
more Freely praise other people Tense your whole
body then release Jump into a pile of leaves
27 Recognize the importance of unconditional love
Relax and live in the moment.
Session with
Matt
Savage
Notes:
28
Why a Drum Circle?
By Matt Savage
So why do we all participate in a drum circle Put In Your Two Cents (Or Beats) It is
event here at the BOA Leadership Weekend? essential that in any organization, team,
Well, there are hundreds of reasons, many of orchestra, band, conversation or drum circle
which are subtle and hidden in the activities that everyone contributes their two cents at
themselves! A couple of thoughts... the appropriate time with the appropriate
response for the group to be successful and move
WHY DRUMS? forward. To accomplish this, it is very important
that everyone involved is engaged at all times,
Drums have been used for thousands of years listening and being aware of what is occurring
in all the worlds cultures as a powerful tool all around them, The past, present, future, how
for bringing people together, celebrations, you relate to it and how it relates to you is
communication and healing. We are witnessing paramount. The major concepts in this activity are:
a revolution around the world as people of all
ages, occupations and races use drums and Put in your two cents (or beats) at the
drumming for recreation, team building, music appropriate time.
therapy and a host of other uses. Drums are Be aware of the past present and future.
immediately accessible. A person with no When a person or group gets out of rhythm, try
drumming experience can immediately enjoy a to recover with the least amount of wasted
powerful sound from most drums and energy.
percussion instruments. A violin on the other
hand would not be a pleasing sound in the Thoughts to consider about the Put In Your
hands of 100 beginners! Two Cents activity:
Leaders must encourage and develop full
WHYACIRCLE? participation from their group.
Why is it important for leaders to be aware of
A circle is a very powerful shape that creates a the past present and future?
form where every part of the circle is equal. How can leaders facilitate helping individuals
Remember the phrase circle the wagons? A or groups get back in rhythm?
circle was used in order to cover every angle,
to see all sides to have no weaknesses. When The Two Note Rhythm Weave One of the
we use a circle for drumming, all sides are most common phrases used in team building is
important, we are able to see and communicate the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
with everyone else and we are all equal! The individual strengths of a group when
combined together, can far outweigh the
SOMECONCEPTS, THOUGHTS & LESSONS... strengths and lessen the weaknesses of an
individual. It can also be thought of in terms
The Heartbeat The human heartbeat is one that when all the individuals in a large group
of the most organic, recognizable and easily make small but significant contributions,
performed rhythms for everyone. Because of complex and amazing results can occur.
this, it is often the first rhythm used in many
drum circles. We hear and feel our mothers Thoughts to consider about the The Two Note
heartbeat for many months at 110 decibels Rhythm Weave:
while in the womb. It is with us from the day Small contributions from a group of individuals
were born to the day we die. It is a very can have dramatic, complex and amazing results.
focusing, grounding and calming rhythm for Every persons contribution or lack thereof,
all ages. The major concepts for this activity are: has immediate ramifications.
2010 Matt Savage / www.rhythmalive.com
Use your ears more then your hands.

Move together Use your ears more than your mouth!
Think together At times it is difficult to see, hear or observe
Work together what is going on around you when you are too
Play together closely involved. Attempt to take yourself out
of the groove (or situation) and re-evaluate.
Thoughts to consider about The Heartbeat activity:
It is challenging to be a good leader. These are just a few of the very important
It is challenging to be a good follower. lessons that can be learned from a drum circle.
Some things in life are simple but not easy Always remember that whether you are in a
Always be ready for anything. drum circle, band or orchestra, we use music
Do we really know what it takes to focus and as a portal for learning about life! See the
concentrate? rhythm, hear the rhythm, feel the rhythm, play
29 Commitment from each individual is essential the rhythm, live the rhythm. The rhythm is life!
for group success. RHYTHM ALIVE!
Session with
Panel of
Directors
Notes:
30
Session with
Norm
Logan
Notes:
31
Its Not Just Playing Around:
Group Games Teach Group Lessons
By Norm Logan
Group games can be a quick and easy way to break RELAY GAMES are those that require individuals to
down inhibiting walls, to get people to work participate as solos or in very small groups to their
together as a team and to teach groups lessons in fullest in order for the whole group to achieve its
personal responsibility and ethics. Games also goal such as the egg in the spoon race. These
offer insight to various dynamics within your games show how an individual can work hard and
group. This is knowledge that will increase your achieve goals for the greater good of the entire
ability to keep your group open to trying new group. Many of these games point out the ethics of
activities and ideas. playing with honor and reveal that some people
wish to win at all costs, even if it means braking
Most group games can be divided into three types: the rules. Game leaders need to pay special
(1) ice breakers (2) action games (3) relay games. attention that these people play safely. Leaders need
to reinforce the idea that playing the game for the
To be a group leader of these games the leader good of the group is its own reward. It needs to be
needs to know not only the rules of the game and noted that all players are at different skill levels
how to play them safely, but also how to use the but its important that the whole group finishes
game as a teachable moment. This makes the game together. This all for one, and one for all
a bookmark in the individuals memory as the philosophy can improve the performance level of
season goes along. Referring back to the lesson of the group as a whole.
the game can quickly refocus the group.
THE DEBRIEFING after the game is as important as
ICE BREAKERS are quick activities that help mix up the game itself as a strong teachable moment.
the group and widen individual comfort zones. An Debriefing allows the game leader to relate the
ice breaker is any game that requires each game to life and band life lessons. Debriefing
individual to make contact with the rest of the usually works best when presented in a question
group such as name games or finding someone and answer format. Here are some questions you
you share a commonality with your birthday, might use following a game: What was the focus of
your major instrument, favorite band etc. As a the game? Is there anything you can take to heart
leader, its great to have several mixers that you from the game? How do you feel now that is
can use spontaneously in addition to ones that need different from your feelings prior to the game?
preparation and/or equipment. These allow you to What music moments relate to the game?
engage the group immediately. Any ice breaker
should create an easy transition into more LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
challenging games and activities.
ACTION GAMES are games that require all group

members to simultaneously solve a problem/task
such as knots. Action games help to focus the
group on accomplishing a task note the similarity
to learning drill work. Action games work on team
building as opposed to individual achievement.
These games focus on the lesson within the
activity. The game leader needs to be watching for
people who are not playing. These people hide in
the shadows being only minimally involved
because they are afraid to take a risk and
participate fully. They are the same people who
will not get actively involved when the group has a
project to do. Getting them engaged in game
participation fully and successfully here will
increase their quality of participation as a band
member. You will have reduced or eliminated the
2010 Norm Logan
fear factor and replaced it with the joy of

participating.
32
The Shadow People
By Norm Logan
Why do people join music groups? They love Because no one took the responsibility to con-
music probably, but they could just turn on nect with this person the entire group was
the radio. To win trophies maybe, but they adversely affected. You cant afford, your
could win solo prizes. To feel they belong to a group cant afford, youre being reactive.
group that appreciates their efforts and likes Leaders must always be pro active.
them absolutely! Studies show that after
water, food, and shelter the primary need/ In doing some research with shadow people
desire is to belong to something greater than I find that they have one thing in common.
ourself. The old phrase I dont stay where When pressed for a reason why they quit the
Im not wanted not only holds true but, for group, the answer is, no one seemed to want
people new to a situation, there is an over sen- me in the group, no one talked to me. I really
sitivity to any hint of rejection. Consider when dont play very well. My dropping out will not
people are most likely to drop out of organiza- matter much. I think the group will be better
tions its usually early, as they start to partic- off without me? How many people did lead-
ipate more fully they begin to feel they belong, ers let slip through the cracks in your program
that theyre contributing and are wanted by the last year? How much time and effort was wast-
group. ed because no one made contact with these
people. What can you personally do to help
As a leader one of your first responsibilities your group, now, this year?
should be to create a friendly atmosphere for
the new members. You need to be the one to TIPS FOR NEW LEADERS
take the initiative letting the new members
know, as individuals, that they are welcome Take attendance.
and needed. Its startling that as obvious as this
seems that very few people actually step out of Taking attendance is not a controlling activi-
their comfort zone to create comfort for others. ty to see who is naughty or nice. Taking atten-
Its a very easy action to take once you realize dance helps you to take a moment and learn
that everyone fears being rejected and every- each members full name, to acknowledge who
one appreciates being welcomed. Dont wait is coming and who is on time. If being on time
for someone else to step forward, make it your is a good thing for the group - let them know
personal commitment to seek out the new or this right away. If someone is making an effort
even old members who appear to feel insecure to help the group thank them by name right
in their ability to commit to the group. Remind away. Positive behaviors need to be appreciat-
them that they are the backbone of the group ed and reinforced.
and that you personally would miss their
involvement. Dont let these people stay in the Have these members take on stewardship roles
shadows. for the group.
Many new people, even though they are com- Many times the members of your group need
ing to rehearsals or meetings, have not made a your help, but may feel your controlling them.
commitment to the group. These are the shad- Pick some members of your group to help with
ow people. These members always seem at the sectionals or other activities to share the lead-
outside of the group. This lack of commitment ership responsibilities. With your guidance and
may go on well into the season, long after the encouragement these people will not only
ice breakers and the introduction activities cease to be a problem for you, they will be
have faded away old habits can be hard to your strongest helpers. Let them know you
break. They may even suddenly decide to drop have confidence that with practice this year
out of band. This starts the chain of disappoint- they will be able to take your place next year
ment and waste. Uniform moms who have to keep the group strong and growing. This is
probably just finished altering his/her uniform not only being a good teacher/leader...but
feel theyve wasted their time, the instrument being a good friend.
2010 Norm Logan
that was purchased with hard earned money

will now sit unused on a shelf, and of course As a student leader be sure you finish your
the drill must now be rewritten and relearned homework.
to fix the hole in the forms. What a waste of
time, money, and effort. And more importantly Who was the person that put you in that stew-
33 what a waste of what could have been a posi- ardship position? Was it a teacher, coach, pas-
tively contributing human being. tor, former section leader, band or orchestra
director? Have you ever really thanked him/
her? You know how you feel when someone
thanks you. Now is always the best time to say
personally thank you for believing in me.
Do not miss this opportunity to thank these
people in a personal way, one to one. You will
2010 Norm Logan

both find satisfaction and joy in this moment.
Its absolutely true that you can create the band

or orchestra family of your dreams one per-
son at a time. The band or orchestra individual
who really feels he/she belongs will work to
achieve greatness for the group.
Potential
Yesterday some would say

I received the kiss of death.
Mr. Logan gave the potential speech
To me and Jessica Beth.
He said I had potential.

Whatever the heck that means.
Alls I know he didnt pick me
To drive our marching machine.
2010 DJ Corchin / www.bandnerdspoetry.com
But he wouldnt let me quit.

Im not sure how he did it.
He somehow made me change my mind
I simply must admit it.
He told me that I need the band

As much as it needs me.
He was right I must confess
My potential he did see.
DJCorchin 34
Author and a member of Team SWAG
Session with
Frank
Troyka
Notes:
35
Taking It All Home:
Leaving A Legacy
By Frank Troyka
Inspiration is nothing more than an idea whose with everything your director says or does, as a
time has come. By now, you have a lot of new strong leader you must respect and acknowledge
ideas and youre feeling inspired to take all your this dedication. If you think some of this informa-
enthusiasm back home and make a difference - to tion may benefit your band or orchestra, then ask
help others make changes for the better. Like any your director to meet with you and the other leaders
good leader, youre eager to give away what you so you can share what your learned. As you
now have: new information, new strategies for describe your experiences and your ideas and how
using that information, and maybe even a new way you think they might apply to your band or orches-
of looking at yourself. Here are some very impor- tra, say to your director, Tell me what you think.
tant things to keep in mind as you take it all home. When you ask your directors opinion, you
acknowledge his expertise and you show your
You will meet with failure before you meet with respect for his judgment.
success. Keep in mind that while youve been off
working on becoming a better member of your Do not allow yourself to be influenced by obsolete
organization and a more effective leader, others are ways of behaving and thinking. When you have
likely to be much as you left them. Even though information before you have a use for it, it doesnt
youre ready to dive in and make things happen, always make sense. Expect counterproductive, even
you must be patient with those who have not expe- rebellious, behavior if your ideas meet with resis-
rienced what you have. The first thing you have to tance. Be careful! Its easy to go along with nega-
give away is the chance you got to be where you tive behavior because its safe you dont risk fail-
are now. Your relentless commitment to making ure if youre negative to begin with. Maybe you can
right choices for yourself is the key to helping oth- remember in your past some behaviors or attitudes
ers make them for themselves. Your example is a that you no longer want to be part of who you are.
more powerful mechanism of change than your When you feel yourself slipping into old patterns,
authority, and its far more powerful than your title. ask, Is this the kind of person I want to be?
Invite others to share in your experience. Perhaps You mustnt ever allow yourself to hide behind the
there are other members of your band or orchestra phrases, That wasnt me when I did that, or I
who have leadership responsibilities that werent wasnt myself that day. To become the leader the
able to share in this training. If, in your enthusiasm person you truly want to be you must remember
to share your own experiences, you say things like, this simple fact: We never do anything unlike our-
You really missed out, or You shouldve been selves. Acceptance of the reality of your choices is
there, youll only widen the gap between yourself the best indicator of your maturity not only as a
and those you hope to encourage and inspire. Share leader, but as a responsible person.
this notebook with them. Ask what they think
about the information and the notes you took. Leaving a Legacy
Tell them what you learned and how you hope that,
together, you might apply some of the skills and Unique to the human species is the ability to per-
information to your organization. ceive ourselves over the course of time. We can see
our lives in the context of the events that led up to
As you share your thoughts, be sure to ask their the present and as the beginning of the future we
opinion. When you ask others for their opinion, hope to create for ourselves. Mankind possesses an
2010 Frank Troyka / www.berknerband.com
you tell them you respect their intelligence and intense desire to grow intellectually and spiritually,
expertise. You bring them closer to you through to have meaningful interaction with others, and to
your humility and your genuine respect for their feel that we leave something of value for which
ideas. Even if you dont agree with the opinion, others will remember us.
accept it just as you would like your own opinions
to be accepted. As a leader, the choices you make in the present
must support the vision you have for yourself, your
Give them time to process what youve shared. band, and the collective vision of your directors and
Remember this: Pushing things to happen before fellow leaders. A good leader makes choices that
the time is right is less important than eventually will create the best possible experience for himself
achieving them. and others during his time in charge. A great leader
makes choices that will create the best possible
Respect the experience and expertise of the adults experience long after he moves on. Your legacy as a
who work with you. Your director is a professional leader is the band you leave behind when you grad-
who has dedicated his or her career to teaching uate. How do you want to be remembered when 36
music to young people. Whether or not you agree you move on? What will be your legacy?
RPM versus MPH:
What you DO is what actually matters
By Jamie Weaver
I guess you could say I have been blessed with Its easy to stay in place and rev your engine.
a double-dose of redneck. I was born and Sure, you might impress people with how loud
raised in Kentucky and have been living in you are (after all, you went to some special
Texas for the past 8 years. Yeehaw!! camp for leaders), but what kind of impression
will be left long after youve gone? What are
It is not uncommon in either place to roll up to you going to do to make your band or orchestra
a stop light and find yourself next to a large better? Leadership is not about image, its
pick up truck with tires almost as big as your about action. Its not about the rev of your
Aunt Ethels beehive hairdo and an engine that engine, its about the speed of your wheels.
roars like the snoring soundtrack of your
fathers Sunday-afternoon-nap-on-the-couch. Are you pumped up with pride just for show,
or are you ready to make things happen? Do
I remember one such encounter in high school; you sit high and mighty in your monster
being side-by-side with a monster truck. truck, or are you willing to diligently pedal
Bubba Joe looked over at me in my incredibly your way to success? Its time to get moving!
intimidating Honda Civic hatchback and began
to rev his engine. He was interested in racing. Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines!
Surethis will work, I thought, my two
hamsters are the fastest hamsters Ive ever
known. Bring it on, cowboy. I revved my
engine, too. The sound of his truck was
overwhelming. It sounded as though he had
replaced his regular engine with a jet engine
from a 747. Mine sounded like a vacuum
cleaner with a piece of Christmas-tree tinsel
stuck in the roller.
The light turned green and we both stomped

on our gas pedals and immediately both car
and truck stalled and died. There we sat,
looking at each other, looking stupid.
We looked to our right and passing us was
a middle school kid on his bike! Apparently,
its not the rev of the engine that makes things
move, its the speed of the wheels.
GET FIRED UP, BABY!
Its so easy to get caught up in that way of

thinking, though. Youve come here from all
over the country to get yourself fired up and
rev things into gear for the school year and
2010 Jamie Weaver / www.frontandcenter.org
often forget that this part (being here together

for this moment) doesnt matter nearly as
much as what you do with the information,
excitement, and enthusiasm on your own
when you get back to your own band or
orchestra program.
37
Obeying the Three Laws of
Student Leadership
By Tim Lautzenheiser
Directors take note, student leadership is no longer outcome based on how he/she acts in every situa-
an option, it is a must. There is simply too much to tion. The followers will be close behind!
do to assume you will have time to complete it sin-
gle-handedly. Certainly the parents can play an Do as I say, not as I do, will be the certain downfall
important role in the various responsibilities of the of any leader. One cannot show up late, but expect
program, but the day-to-day operation of the band the followers to be on time. The leader must
or the orchestra still comes back to those who are establish the highest standards and then become the
there at all times; the students. dedicated example of fulfilling the necessary
requirements for goal attainment As a leader, one
After a decade of working with student leaders and cannot expect more from others than from oneself.
developing an extensive curriculum of: goal set- As the engine determines the speed of the train, the
ting, communication techniques, time management, leader dictates the responsibility level of the group.
people skills, etc., it is apparent none of this infor-
mation has any value unless there is a fundamental Youre Only Worth What You Give Away
understanding of what it takes to be a successful
student leader. There are many misconceptions There are many talented and knowledgeable people
which need to be cleared up before assigning the who aspire to be student leaders. Unfortunately,
various tasks. For example, leadership is not about they often are thrust into a position of authority
dominating another person. So often the students based on their expertise, but find themselves inef-
interpret their position as a license to verbally fective in their ability to guide others. This results
abuse or demean their peers. Nothing could be fur- in frustration, abrasion, confrontation, and a total
ther from the truth. breakdown in communication. Though talent and
skill are vital elements in the selection of the leader
In fact, this is one of the quickest ways to violate candidate, they represent only part of the compe-
the importance of the position, and shut off the tence-formula to insure effective leadership. It is a
positive potential of everyone involved. (In this matter of giving away. or sharing the information
case, we would be better off without any student with others.
leadership.) Such a liability can be devastating.
The focus must be on the forward progress of the A student leader who chides or berates another stu-
group, not pushing or threatening subordinates dent because he/she cannot perform at the expected
along the way, but the emphasis must be on creat- level, or meet up to the talents of the leader,. is
ing opportunities for them to grow, learn, and doing nothing to help the situation. This may be
improve; literally leading them on a journey of per- generated by a lack of understanding of how to
sonal advancement and achievement. communicate. the information, personal insecurity,
or the fear of risking failure. It is less.. threatening
As you begin to choose your new leaders for the to withdraw than it is to try and not succeed. This
upcoming year, it will be to your advantage (and logic is commonplace, but creates a standstill for all
the welfare of the organization) if there is a pur- concerned, including the leader.
poseful understanding of three basic principles
2010 Tim Lautzenheiser / www.attitudeconcepts.com
which are the key components of a successful lead- Student leaders must be aware that personal risk is
ership. When these serve as the foundation for an important part of the agenda. Their leadership
future building, you can feel confident about the value is measured by their capacity to bring their
positive possibilities ahead. knowledge to others, or in reality, to give it away.
You Cant Lead Others Until You Lead Yourself You Can Only Give Away What You Have
This concept is crucial It is an embellishment of Though simplistic in reasoning, this premise is

the well-known phrase, lead by example. Role often overlooked, for the student leaders are so
modeling is still the most effective leadership tech- busy with what needs to be done. In an all-out
nique. It embraces all the peer pressure implica- effort to achieve the given goals, please the director,
tions and offers a constant source of information to serve the followers, etc., the priorities become reset
the follower. Whenever there is a question or a and illusions of grandeur serve as the leadership
decision concerning how to act or what to do, the road map, instead of a realistic plan of action.
follower can simply watch his/her leader, and see Only on rare exception will the follower outperform
what is appropriate, then model it. Students imitate the leaders, and when that is the case, a new leader
both positive and negative behaviors, therefore the will soon be designated Therefore, a program of
leader must be keenly aware of every predictable ongoing self-improvement is required. 38
The equation is basic: The more I have, the more I
can give. The more I give, the more I learn, which
creates more information to give.
A very talented student will develop quickly, and

the new enthusiasm will serve as high-powered
fuel in the early day stages of learning. Also take
into account the students desire to achieve a posi-
tion of status within the band as well as the person-
al pay-off which comes with the exploration of the
art form. The observed motivation may appear to
be the exemplary behavior model for the entire
group, and there is a temptation to thrust this stu-
dent into a high profile position. Beware a common
backlash of this hasty decision; the student often
becomes enamored with the entrusted power and
refocuses his/her energy into self-promotion
instead of self-improvement. In other words, they
give up their intense learning habits and become
engrossed in personal advancement (i.e. the power
goes to their head). It must be understood the lead-
ership position carries with it the responsibility of
increasing ones work ethic and establishing a new
set of goals which reflect an even higher level of
excellence/achievement This requires a very
mature understanding of what leadership commit-
ment really means and is the distinguishing charac-
teristic of the certain-to-be-successful student lead-
er. There must be a dedicated program of contin-
ued learning to increase the value of the leaders
message.
As you go about choosing your leaders for the

future, it might be worthwhile to have them read
this brief article and do a bit of soul-searching
before throwing their hat in the ring as the possible
candidate. For the good of all concerned, lets be
certain they understand and are willing to assume
the responsibilities of what lies ahead.
It is counter-productive to have leaders who dont

lead. If the leaders are patiently waiting for you,
the director, to tell them what to do, then they are
not leaders, but managers. Managers do things
right. Leaders do right things.
When students observe the three basic laws of

leadership...
1. You cant lead others until you lead yourself

2. You are only worth what you give away
3. You can only give away what you have
...they will find themselves enjoying a feeling of

personal self-worth and everyone in the group will
benefit from their productive and positive contribu-
tion. TAKE THE LEAD!
39
I-Me vs. We-Us:
A Look at Consistency
As musicians our vernacular centers around words Is it wise to have musical expectations, disciplines,
like: ensemble, blend, focus, unity, working togeth- or demands which are not congruent with our
er, responsibility, commitment, expression, creating behavioral styles? The answers to these questions
a unified mood, bringing a sense of oneness to the seem so elementary they do not deserve attention,
group, espirit de corps, etc. All of these thoughts yet it always amazes me that a conductor/teacher/
are generated from the fundamental philosophy performer will convey one message with baton/
that there is more benefit for the individual via an instrument, asking for our trust in accomplishing
emphasis on we/us rather than I/me. Certainly we his/her wish, then in turn display an alternative atti-
would all agree that we do give up a good measure tude outside the rehearsal. This mixed message cre-
of individuality when we become a part of a musi- ates some rather uncomfortable reactions. It could
cal ensemble. We adjust everything from musical well be a case of taking one step forward and three
tastes to living schedules to accommodate the end steps backward. The survival part of the human
goal, the performance, the final product. The finest mechanism goes into action and the temptation is to
organizations we know are those who set aside create a set of defensive barriers for self-protection.
some of their differences for the benefit of Of course this means there will be a goodly mea-
achieving a quality musical performance. sure of withhold both in and out of the rehearsal.
Ultimately, everyone grows and learns because of
the adjustment necessary in the group-goal endeav- Do we not have the responsibility to bring those
or. required musical attitudes into our persona? How
can we expect the musicians to extend themselves
This concept is nothing new. In fact it is apparent in a requested phrase of gentle serenity when they
in the classic poem, The Law of the Jungle. For have just been verbally stabbed in the back prior to
those who have never read this enlightening piece rehearsal? If there is to be beauty in the music, it
of writing, indulge yourself... has to come from the performers, and if that beauty
has been destroyed somewhere along the way, there
The Law of the Jungle is little chance it will appear via the music. This Dr.
Jekyll-Mr. Hyde communication prevents the attain-
Now here is the Law of the Jungle ment of the chosen goal and prevents any opportu-
And its as true and as blue as the sky, nity to experience a peak performance in music. . .
And those who obey it shall prosper, not to mention the implications to every other part
But those who deny it shall die. of life.
As the serpent who slithers the tree-trunk, Defensive actions, negative attitudes, fear of risk,
the law runneth forward and back; avoidance of change, and stringent protective
The strength of the pack is each wolf, behavior all stem from insecurity and/or fear. They
but the strength of each wolf is the pack. are behavioral postures we assume for self-protec-
tion. These defenses create walls and obstacles
Simple, direct, insightful. We would all agree, which prevent: communication, cooperation, and
wouldnt we? Although the radicals might scream strongly reinforce the I/me pattern of living, which
an infringement of their right to choose, the artist is the antithesis of what we are striving to achieve
would claim this is the path to peak performances. in our musical community (with unity) opening
It is the essence of the meaning of ensemble, striv- the pathways to artistic experiences.
ing for new heights of unity, togetherness, oneness.
The point is, as teachers, performers, conductors,
It would be easy to simply add a conclusive para- and students, we must constantly discipline our
graph and claim another successful observation own behavior so it aligns our actions with our
which brings new understandings to some, rein- desires. Consider having a Weight Watchers meet-
forces others, and offers a good lesson for the ing at the local Baskin Robbins... that would be
members of any musical ensemble. However, that ridiculous. If so, can we expect our musicians to
would be too easy and really doesnt provoke much offer a high level of cooperation in the rehearsal
thought Its just too safe. There is more to this hall while the conductor is unwilling to make
which can serve as a challenge for all of us. Onto adjustments on a decision which violates his/her
the next level of thinking... personal desires? Granted, every situation must be
considered on its own particular circumstances, but
If the we/us philosophy is the foundation of musi- lets look at the overall question of program respon-
cal excellence, should we not bring that kind of sibility. How do you approach your conflicts of
thinking into our approach to every facet of life? each day? 40
Are you serving as a role model and setting the
standards you want your students to emulate? Is
your decision-making in line with your values of
life? Do you ask of yourself what you ask of oth-
ers? If the answer is yes, then the rewards you
receive from everything you do will far exceed
your greatest expectations. If the answer is no, it is
time to review the why of your choices and see
if they are based on a we/us philosophy which is
the fundamental theme of a quality program.
Herein lies a tremendous opportunity to bring a
new sense of excitement to your group and to your
own life.
As Gilbert Arland wrote, When an archer misses

the mark, he turns and looks for the fault within
himself. Failure to hit the bulls-eye is never the
fault of the target. To improve your aim, improve
yourself. It is true that we cannot direct the wind,
but we can adjust the sails.
We can have some say-so in the results because of

our approach, our willingness to cooperate, and our
belief that we do have value simply because of
who we are. And since we are creatures of habit,
we can assume that excellence is not a part time
practice... it is not something we turn on and off...
it is a way we approach everything we do and it
begins to show up in each and every part of our
life. Our art is a manifestation of who we are. Who
we are will determine who our students will grow
to be. This certainly goes well beyond the begin-
ning and the end of a piece of music.
We all want the best for our students. We all desire

to produce quality and make a positive impact on
those around us. Nobody ever attains any real level
of success by simply doing what is required.
Success comes from the amount of extra which is
over and above the required. Therein lies the for-
mula for greatness and distinction. We must con-
stantly demand of ourselves what we expect of oth-
ers. To improve our own conditions we must
embrace change instead of fear it, to accept others
and their insecurities, to love even those people
who seem to disagree with our thoughts and feel-
ings. This is not an end within itself, but an ongo-
ing process. Security can be such a falsehood. Only
those who are willing to admit their insecurities

and shortcomings are truly secure. What a para-
dox!
The striving to achieve new levels of performance

is far more important than the performance itself,
for it ensures even greater performances to come.
The world of self-expression via our art avails
itself to all of us. It is a way of life, the disciplined
habits of daily living and giving. Let the music
begin.
41
A Straight A Curriculum
For Success
Our traditional grading system suggests that The information is not particularly difficult to
getting straight As is the ultimate goal of the absorb, but seems to be easily forgotten in the crisis
successful student. We have all played the game of everyday life. Highly recommended for anyone
with fervor, cramming before the final exam, suffering from a cynical view of the profession.
spending late hours with study groups, forcing Much of the course work requires out-of-class par-
down that final glug of coffee with the test notes ticipation.
strategically placed beside the cup and focusing
every bit of mental, emotional and physical energy Affability 400
on the cherished A which will guarantee our
success as one of todays music educators. Although this is an upper level offering, anyone is
eligible to enroll. Formerly titled: Cooperation 400,
Yet we all know this doesnt always prove true in the emphasis deals with the premise: The ability to
reality. The top of the class doesnt always prove to get along with others is the single most important
be the front-runners in the profession. There are commodity of our profession. Eighty-five percent
countless stories concerning the brilliant and tal- of all problems are people-related. The research
ented college music major who found the rehearsal revealed will help clear up many of the daily prob-
room to be a less-than-desirable environment and lems caused by personality conflicts. (A prerequi-
subsequently chose a career in a totally unrelated area. site class for Professional Success: Honors Class).
On the other hand, we well remember the student Acknowledgment 001

who completed all the required work, but never
seemed to be on the cutting edge; and now they are Giving credit where credit is due serves as the
responsible for a model music program which entire syllabus for this course and demonstrates the
stands as an example of excellence in your region. positive effects of supporting the behavior of those
How can this be explained? who are contributing and showing dedication to the
goal. It is highly suggested that you do not sign up
Perhaps there is another level of getting straight As for this offering until you have completed
we often do not see. Maybe there is more to it than Acceptance 101 and Appreciation 100.
the memorization of material and the ability to test
well. Lets assume there are several required cours- Accountability 000 Lifetime
es which are not in the catalogue, but woven into
the context of the learning experience. The final The ability to be accountable is the sister course
grades do not show up on the transcript at the end of Responsibility The ability to respond.
of the semester, but are well-recorded in the minds Students who complete this class will learn to avoid
and hearts of our colleagues and friends. blame and revenge in their professional and person-
al lives. They will learn the art of completion. Task
How well are we doing in these tuition-free prereq- completion is the number one builder of positive
uisite-for-success classes in human relations? self-image and personal success is in direct propor-
tion to task completion.
Acceptance 101
We might entitle that unwritten page in the cata-
This core class is a must for the educator who will logue, Secrets to Effective Human Relations. The
be working with students from different socio- faculty for these classes are the people who we are
economic backgrounds or multi-religious with each day. Our grades are posted in the
affiliations. If members of the group have different thoughts, conversations, body language and general
opinions or personal tastes, this information is behavior of those around us. If we are not satisfied
necessary in creating a working, productive with the results of our efforts, it should be clear that
community. The fundamental theme of Acceptance we need to alter our contribution to the classroom
101 centers on the ability to withhold judgment of life. When evaluating ourselves and others, lets
and see everyone as having worth simply because not forget the importance of getting straight As at
they are part of the organization. every level. The curriculum outlined in this article
is one we must study and practice every moment of
Appreciation 100 Ph.D every day. The agenda of self-improvement must
become a habit of life. We all have so much to learn
Students at any level can enroll in this class. It can and we will be students forever. A person who does
be repeated for credit anytime and is often recom- not improve is no better than someone who cannot
mended as a refresher course for the aspiring grad- improve. Lets dedicate ourselves to getting straight 42
uate enrollee. As.
Session with
Tim
Lautzenheiser
Notes:
43
A very special
Thank wo
r l d o f t ha n
ks
You !
a wor l d o
tha n k s
of
f
ld
To: All 2010 Leadership Weekend Participants ha
t
r o nks
From: Fran Kick a w
While this is not a very personalized way of saying thank you, I do want to share my
sincere appreciation to each and every one of you. The very fact that you made the time
to KICKITIN with us, demonstrates your interest in really making things happen.
One person in particular needs to be acknowledged for his effort in bringing this program
to life. Over the years he has contributed a great deal to make sure everyone has a better
than expected experience. Just in case you would like to thank him directly:
Mr. Scott McCormick

Music for All, Inc.
39 West Jackson Place Suite 150
Indianapolis, IN 46225
As we continue the week-long symposium, your active participation, level of attention

and sense of personal responsibility will greatly impact the overall experience for all.
THANKS in advance for your help this week. No matter what we do, it will be your
example that will shine through and remain in the hearts and minds of many. Memories
are made most powerful by people not programs. Your positive and constructive
interaction throughout the week and ultimately throughout your life will create the
kind of leadership contribution we need more of in this world. Setting an example for
others to see and follow, wherever you are, whatever youre doing thats what personal
leadership is all about.
All the BEST and keep KICKinITIN!
Fran Kick
Instruction & Design Concepts
441Maple Springs Drive
Centerville,OH 45458-9232
44
www.kickitin.com/music.html
ks a w
a n or
h
ld
t
f
a wor l d o
of
tha n k s
s
a
k wo
ha n rld of t
This thank you note is from the 2010 Leadership Weekend Experience / www.musicforall.org
ks a w
a n or
h
ld
t
f
a wor l d o
of
tha n k s
s
a
k wo
ha n rld of t
ks a w
a n or
h
ld
t
f
a wor l d o
of
tha n k s
s
a
k wo
ha n rld of t

MfA Leadership Experience

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MfA Leadership Experience

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Welcome

THANKYOU for participating in what promises to be an exhilarating, thought

This program is about LEADERSHIP

KICKITI N & TAKETHELEAD!

The many people I met................................................................5

Paying attention / The big picture...............................................7

Seeing opportunities to lead......................................................11

Different types of people Different types of leaders.............12

Risk taking / Comfort zones......................................................16

Congruence / Actions speak louder than words / Ego.............17

Opening Session Notes..............................................................18

Frank Crockett Session Notes...................................................19

Raise Your Hand In the Air If You Think Youre a Leader......20

Frank DiLallo Session Notes.....................................................21

Living in Fast Forward . ........................................................22

Understanding Stress ................................................................24

Ten Important Ways to Deal With Stress and Anxiety.............26

Over 101 Ways to Relieve Stress..............................................27

Matt Savage Session Notes........................................................28

Why a Drum Circle?..................................................................29

Panel of Directors Session Notes..............................................30

Norm Logan Session Notes.......................................................31

Its Not Just Playing Around ....................................................32

The Shadow People ..................................................................33

Frank Troyka Session................................................................35

Taking It All Home: Leaving A Legacy....................................36

RPM versus MPH......................................................................37

Obeying the Three Laws of Student Leadership .....................38

I-Me vs. We-Us .........................................................................40

A Straight A Curriculum For Success ...................................42

Tim Lautzenheiser Session Notes.............................................43

pay attention to more than

leadership is about paying attention,

You just have to look for

The best way to define leadership is by way of an example. At a leadership conference

Leaders do what needs to be done

Ted Turner saw an opportunity for

Ben & Jerry saw an opportunity

made something happen and other people followed.

Consider leadership in sports:

Consider leadership in the arts:

Consider leadership in science:

Consider leadership in history:

All of these examples of leadership began with

make things happen

all around you every day to take the lead!

Everybody has a leader inside.

Make things Lead

Wonder Get out of

When or where do you find yourself wondering whats going on?

Leadership is a We/Us game

of Commitment, like anything else in a process, evolves from everyone within

guarantee, follow-through is an attribute of persistence and perseverance which

What qualities and characteristics do they possess?

How do they deal with others?

How do people know they can trust you?

Do you trust you?

trust - everyone asks for it no one wants to give it

To trust oneself is to see oneself as a person who can cope

feel the fear

actions with honesty,

when science finally locates the center of the universe,

Raise your hand in the air if you think youre a

The old saying goes treat others the way you