R. GOSCINNY A. UDERZO Ww 7 V4 Fe Neat Tilustrated by Ibert UDERZO.HALF A CENTURE! THAT AUSHT SEEM ALONG TINE TO ORDINARY PEORLE. ONL? THE HEROES OF STORIES, IN THE CINEMA, THE THEATRE, LITERATURE = OR EVEN IN STRIP CARTOONS, OUR SUBIECT HERE — ARE LUCK? ENOUGH TO SURVIVE THE PASSING OF TIME WITHOUT A WRINKLE, AND CHEERFULLE CONSIDER THis PHENOMENON PERFECTLY NORMAL. I'S OBVIOUS, OF COURSE, THAT THED OWE THEIR LONG LIVES TO THE PUBLIC. ONLY THE PUBLIC DECIDES WHETHER HEROES LIVE OR DIE, AND IF THE PUBLIC DOESN'T LIKE YOU, ¥OLD BETTER WATCH OUT. LET'S SUPPOSE, JUST FOR A CHANGE, THAT ASTERIX AND. Wis FRIENDS FEEL THE WEIGHT OF THE YEARS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. LET'S MASINE THAT LIKE THE AUTHOR OF THESE LINES THEY ARE NOW FIFT? PEARS OLDER. WE COULD FIND OUT WHAT KIND OF SHAPE THEVRE iN, PUYSICALLE AND MENTALLY — SO OFF WE GO TO THE VILLAGE WHERE, WE ASSUME, THE INDOMITABLE GALLS ARE STIL HOLDING QUT AGAINST THE ROMAN INVADERS.Hi DAYS, CHERT VD JEFORE FiNiSHiING THE meee J pool , WASHING uP?il ewe | Bias dead & THOSE TWO! STILL & HANMER AND TONG:Gr Rat waa ponaerrn face FRESH FigHl AND HOW'S BUSINESS _] [STRAIGHT FROM THE seat) DOING THESE DAYS? Not 00 was PLANNING TO arr HOW ABOUT ASTERiX? Ht ANY NEWS OF HiMP Pray Ne Tee 50 Cont sone, Ks! ence osmsn NY sees, ve sxosons 10 TOLL tab AY ORE, TWE ROMANS AGAIN! aa ie LOVE ¥ouR STORIES! s WHATEVER (6 ie aenee AND | DOW AVE Tu STRENGTH TO Memarres, a BELD Lous AATiTES wise THR Wi Saece A mene Row, LET ACGME OsEURE Suet : Stace te tas al Oven 4 i iN SUCH A SAD STATE, Si eeteN8|2 THE FIRST TO AGREE wivu 200: 17 SO HAPPENS THAT THE MAN ResrovsiaLe FOR OUR PLickt We ABOUT To VisiT US.Day, 50.xO FOOLING. ‘AROUND, FOU TWO! HANDS TOGETHER FOR ASTERIX AND OBELIX!OBELIN'S WARDROBE Bogan’ ALWavs DO AUSTICE TO lis TRIE NATURAL ELEGANCE! “Abwir ir, ewe’ ‘SEEN MORE STYLISH oureirs! $0 UM CREATING A COLLECTION TO MARE ‘OBELIK A LEADER OF LUTETIAN PASKION. FASHON AND 4 2OOD RINGIUP ARE NOT NGOMPATBLE? SPOR! ING WRSTBANDS, A WALRUS MOUS TINE AND A PONPTIR Wid MUKE A Bie MPRESSON! z THEN! CONE, ‘OBELN MBIT HAVE BEEN BORN TD WEAR AGE. DRAPED OVER THE Gir HOLDER, Sas He 90U GBT TO BE A BIS MAN IN MENERS, TTS OPE TD OBEN THE ALLMED FELT AT TRUNED IMDUA PHEASINT FEATHER GIVES iM GREAT PRESENCE AS HE MARES Ho BOW! WHWAROWDERED WHTE Wee ONES HEAD, STAIR WORN NUTTE ROWS OVER is BARS AND TIED AT THE BACK, OBELN RENVENTS TRADITIONAL GHGLSN LATS! Soop! GAnDROPS!pRDCe ComT TLL OPERA WAT A cane] [LEATIER GLOVES WORN FOR DRUG A TS ROT MIPOSSBLE TUT NTE i SuaRioT ELEGANTLY A ROCKET nouRSLAss | | UNDERSTATED YET ELEGANT <7, With A FOB. ASD OBELY EXCUANGES OBELK MGT SBT A BASHON FOR “SOME VRP cLicse GUECKED BREECIES! Barin waRTeTe MODE A BISSe, 1OCK TO PROTECT Mis CLOTHES FROM PAINT SO THAT HE GAN TO EXPRESS MOSELE FREELY This COULD REVOLUTIONIZE THE ART OF CUR THES! AND W case: ASTER WOULD LiKE IT REMADS ME OF SONETHNG. uEanveo BF "I RK ee HATIS. FUNNY. / [t oF Reone, Sve 3301NG AGO INSTEAD OF WILD BOAR ProLaTs, | BUR. Sr haa aireaber ake TIER 97 cows worre, REMEMBER erate, ANDANOTHER LETTER, THIS TUNE PROM ALEXANDRIA! Dina (2 THAKING OF Mis PRIENDS! AND THS 16 ODD! eos st <2) || ASTERIX AND OBELIX, \ | ates /\\ | YOU ARE THE KINGS OF THE <1 || |\ ANCIENT WORLD!AND AN INTELLECTUAL TO. HE ASKED WED SET DEPRESSED AT THE TeMeBLe TO AN QUESTIONS. taser Larne SeTBACh Ue FEIT cRUsIED B THE WELT Or RESPONSIBLITY THIS AIKTURE 1S REALE WMAZING, MASTER!TiN 4 PRECISE MORHRLASCAL THEN STREMOUS PHRSICAL ENEREISE: WALEINE, RUNNING APTER wuich, oF Course, We UAD WARRIORS WITH PERFECT 4 PROPORTIONS. ‘After Leonardo da Vinei(Ok CONE OFF iT, ‘hig TRAVEL oat Ther LiKe THE CIRCUMBENDIBUS TRAVEL GUIDE Gauls, do you like to travel? If so our guide, written by an Armorican adventurer, is just the book for you! ( ) | THE PLEASURES \_/ fcourse the Gauls like to travel, by Toutatis! Here in the village, oF THe seagide of course, we don’t have far to go. The beach is very close, and there’s the forest just inland. All the pleasures of a good holiday can be found here: the seaside with its pirates, mushroom-picking, boar-hunting, and a good laugh with Roman patrols. Not to mention that here in Armorica we have a very invigorating climate. In short, it’s rather like being on holiday all the year round for the Romans and us. LeiguRe ACTIVITIES ON HOLIDAY A RELAXING MOMENT ON AN ARMORICAN BEeAcH bracing lima, vey ble shies. ‘dient onthe ach FUN AND GAMES WITH FRIENDS To avold inconvenience, follow the advice i the Dot leave hae you Tove! Take advantage of oor group travel ats Giewmbendibus Guide sehen bookie your holiday 1 -Loeios Cicumbencibus big whee! in wheel manufacturing (see Asterix and the Chieftains Shel), published this famous gue othe best Galich innsdines of our countrymen who aren’t so lucky, meaning everyone else, start thinking about their holidays in the month of Januarius' onwards. If you want to go away in Quintilis? or Sextilis* you have to plan in advance. After the month of Aprilis' there are no seaside villas left to be booked along the coast, and the only subject of conversation is what the weather will be like in summer. (“Mind you, there’s a lot of climate change these days. All those Roman war machines will make the sky fall on our heads one of these days!”) Son people disapprove of this attitude, “What’s Gaul coming to?” they ask. “In the good old days people thought of work and nothing but work!” But even these sensible souls are not the last to set out for the southern provinces. It’s the beaches of the Middle Sea that attract most tourists: Nicae, Antipolis, Forum Julii, Citharista, Olbia, Heraclea Caccabaria, Carsicis’ and Athenopolis* are full of teeming crowds looking for pleasure all summer. (Particularly Athenopolis, frequented by people from the ancient world, the high society of Lutetia, and the beatnix, those strange barbarians who don’t plait or wash their Jong hair. Some say they’re like that after getting nicely stoned at Nicae.) 1 danuery 2 Soon tobe called Julius in honour of Caeser, and later July 3—To be renamed Augustus and then August 4 Apa 5 — Respectively: Nice, Antibes, Fegjus, La Cota, Hybres, Cavalnire, Cassis {6 Small Massiin place near presentday Saine-Tropez GETTING ORGANIZED How pack For ging around, opt Try totale only he JoraGaulsheregitred Toavoid ending wp na shay sort finn, reserve nahn A SUCCESSFUL DEPARTURE The moment comes opt and say goad. Sesto souls lok way wp il Lo ae B —< i ANG! | L, DONT a i ‘ve BRING THE PLEASURES OF THE MIDDLE FER Ae elaxaion one beac at Nae noting lie itor making new fends! Frame fom Airis andthe BanguetO. couse, ne trouble is that, with everyone leaving at the same time and going the same way, the toads are crowded and, sadly, there are many = Ee accidents. Some of those are due to careless drivers hell-bent on high speed, never mind the risk to life and limb. You hear idiots saying: “Yes, old boy, Lutetia to Nicae in only three weeks non-stop!” As if two weeks more or less meant anything in a man’s life! Ronen patrols do their best to enforce the Pax Romana on the roads. The laws are being tightened up, and there’s talk of throwing those careless drivers who are the worst offenders to the lions, but so far that has come to nothing, and the RPOF (Roman Policing Operations Forum) is trying to impose some semblance of discipline as best it can. HOW TO AVOID CROWDED ROADS (TZ NOT IMPOSSIBLE TO AVOID CROWDED ROADS FULL OF HOLIDAY TRAFFIC AND TAUBACKS. HERE'S OUR ADVICS FOR TRAVELLING MORE €asity. ‘Travel with Obelé 16 avo amphiora necks! Enjoy the peace ane calm ofthe oan, Fyabove te cll, and cure yourself or xr Travel by canoe and met new ends. of fori that he hy wl fll on your heat| t has to be said, in defence of road users, that the design of the Roman road network is ancient. The authorities built roads paved with stone slabs which are no longer up to the pressure of modern traffic. They are cluttered up by ox- drawn haulage carts, and overtaking them is always dangerous, Nor do I think that imposing a speed limit of III millia passuum an hour! on all vehicles will solve the problem. And I doubt whether sending bad drivers to the Circus isa good idea, although the lions seem to think so. The roads must be widened and ring roads built around towns and villages. Anyone who has driven through Lugdunum will know what I mean. \ eanwhile people go on taking risks and suffering from road rage as they hurl insults at each other. “I’m going to barbecue those oxen of yours!” “Get going, rapa*-face!” “I'm not tailgating you for ever, raeda lenta’! Let me by!” “['m working! I’ma slave, I am! I’m not here for fun!” “You're a slave, eh? If I was your master I’d trade you in for a donkey. Donkeys work better, they're prettier and more intelligent!” “Want to know what the donkey says to you?” And ROMAN ROADS GUARANTEED Cx FOR ALL MOD CONS T ‘Les not unusual to see what ought to have been a pleasant excursion dege- nerate into a pitched battle, leading to amphora-necks and tailbacks paralysing the traffic for millia and millia passuum. 1A 4.5 kph Wah serine, chariots and service sation clog thew, every eo has Been ‘nade to provide for he comfort of chariot vers) Frames fom Asterix and the Banquet ant Aver 2 Turnip etn instead of potatoes 3 Latin, sw coach22 A £~\.nd there's one thing the Gauls will never understand: it’s not a good idea to eat a heavy meal at lunchtime when you still have some way to travel. But we Gauls are greedy pigs, we feed our faces with wild boar, and we can’t resist one last homful of ‘Aquitanian wine to wash it down! In spite of the marble slabs up beside the roads telling us not to drink and drive,we forget that the amphora can kill as easily as an enemy soldier’s pilum. Remember: “One amphora, fine! Two amphorae, watch out!” l A Imost everyone has his own chariot these days, but how many people are really good drivers? How many of you know, for instance, what distance you need to stop a galloping horse? XX feet! A pair of oxen going full speed ahead will need XXX feet to come toa halt! And if you are travelling by litter, it takes X feet for slaves carrying you at full tilt to pull up. . C “urthermore, whether you're in a Roman chariot, an ox cart or a litter, sports-chariot driving is best left to the professional aurigae. Allow me to offer a little advice: you're not Ben Hur. Controlled skids and sharp bends taken at the gallop are not for you. You have a good chariot, you're proud of the power under its yoke, but use that power only to keep yourself out of danger, “Another problem with our roads is that too few service stations are open at night. If you break down after sunset, I suppose you could always try looking for a veterinary surgeon, but you'll be told, “I'm here to sell hay, not doctor the draught animals.” In addition, getting spare parts is difficult. If one of your team of oxen needs replacing, you'll be told that the spare part has to come from Charolais, and you may spend your whole holiday waiting for your ox to arrive, Because even when it gets into its stride an ox doesn’t move fast! © Forprofesiona awigae, a visi he Doge 1 -Preseatday Modent Toe sue ofa warm welcome everwhere, tak yur aveling bard with ouie are also the inns along your way. It’s better not to stop on the off chance, because you may have a nasty surprise when the bill arrives, and your wallet could suffer a sizeable catapult- hole. Of course, if you like fancy cooking you'll find luxury establishments rated by golden sickles in the specialist guides, places where you can eat paté of ants’ thighs, stuffed nightingale tongues and candied trout-heads. But if you prefer simple fare, stop at one of the places with transport carts parked outside. You'll find a friendly atmosphere where they serve you good roast boar, chilled barley beer, and hydromel like Mater makes it. f you want a place to stay on your way, it'S best to reserve in advance, or you may have to sleep the night in your chariot. Many like to go camping, but then you should follow the example of the Romans: never forget to dig a ditch and put up a fence around your tent. That will keep out attacking barbarians, who are sometimes a nuisance and spoil your good night's sleep. Fats, T must add that only prudent Gauls enjoy their travels, but I wish all of you happy holidays! ‘Text by René Goscnny published in Poe, no. 347, 16 June 196. HOLIDAY IDEAS THE WONDERS fi OF hy org Dut happy memuries forthe Gauls Were not so Adventrere at hear wil enjoy sastay nthe middle ofthe desert ‘our deepest lines! Toimpres your rents, hve souvent prenures carved a Y jrons ofhisorc moment. Briain, with ts evergreen bard groups and legendary warm sete ine. “These Bron are crazy!Useful accessories to take, souvenirs from foreign lands: everything you need for going away in times of classical antiquity. fa ‘ 1 Ticket for the Regional Eurostlla Routes | nlc chavot compen | 0. Ssetoeihing drinking skal bs. \ “Tokoep in ouch with your Loved Ons, i i \ cs f Hs RET Samo oe { 4 \ } scons keep he ates Change fom every province j | Col epi tans ate the ost sought af. i | “You dream of Its the Egypeians make it! x1 Paaport, tose by the lnpo autores. ‘You wil aS Ge thse to move fel around Erte tha are pr ofthe Pax Romanapi. oh I i v7 | 4 ‘a &) 2 | FOREIGN TRAVEL, iS ALL VER? WELL, BUT RATHER DULL WITHOUT MUSIC. 25ExAacTLel THEIR MOTHERS, SARSAPARILLA AND VANILLA, Wave ASKED ME TO FIND UM APRAID IT'S ASTERIX is A soPELESs Case. AND AMOROUS PASSION HAS THEM BAPELED. LEAR POOR OBELIX WAS EVES: ONL FOR ME. OBELIX? Huw! ue WAS eves ONLY FOR His ROMANS AND His BOARS. ‘THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH DEFEATIST TALK! THEY NEED WOMEN OF CHARACTER TO BRING A LITTLE ORDER INTO rate eS | % EXCEPTIONAL WOMEN WHOM THE? GAN LOOK uP TO!ERS ino 2509 Sane wer been BouGQUAREONTHEKYPOTENUS, ‘7SuR PARK WAS INSPIRED ME To CREATE SOME. AMAZING NEW POTIONS! THK TuaRe’s somerHONS take TO GWE OUR NGEPARABLE FRIENDS A GREAT SURPRI ABUSING PBARS SET ONE Daor ois tau Tie ROWER ‘ ower oF 1ouR vouTH! Ps Maieicieg, _ pede ome se tee ice = oehncet ache See as Ge L 9 - detTE NEED To BE THE MOST FANGUS UEROES OF OLR GE! LET'S STAGE THEIR ADVENTURES AS A MAGNIFICENT SPECTACLE! Wir MUSE ore, BaT wo can’ We GET 1 PLAY THE parr AND DARLINGS ue THe an HAVE SOMETHING: BETTER! WeRe GOS TO IMAgNe AnD OP Deana NeVeR SEEN BEFORE!'S A SHARK !? QUITTICK! DO SOMETHING!!!THE ROMANE | sags HE’S MAKING A BREAK FOR iT! PERSONALLY, | SEE THE SCENE MORE GeeWE Wikk AVOID ALL FAR-FETCHED INTERPRETATIONS, le O0000%! \ FEEL So. HOW DARE YOU, YOU LiTTLE ee AT STN Poa! Wit Lees Hee, MISTER AUTHOR, (want a DouBLe F: eA \WD NO cuaNone iY DaLosoe aaa Cre wile es ee Sees Sues TO THe 4 7 eee UDERZORIX“{ IN THE Part OF OBELIX. Wir f IN THE PART OFASTERIX” vm VIS COMICA, Provctis ae Stone Pus S| no XXV LT MALUS ©hiny fl(20H, ves! B16 NO, VANILLA WaT yy] LA: 5 a wy =a! aA — Naw‘THERE WILL EVEN 8 A STATUE ‘OF OBELIX AS A THINKER KNOWN ALL OVERTKO CAN | wraaReTu POTION THAT WORKS THE SANE WAM! Na : ou DIDN'T ar THERE'S NO a RaiNBow. waRRion! ba ACGOUNTING POR TASTES AND COLOURS. BROUGH DINNER.‘STANDING STONES ARB THE Beet INVESTENT. youNG FOLK THESE Days, ALWays: SEEKING ATTENTION. awiasmvas exrizzvaTHAT WiLL DO IM! You Forcet THAT BUT FOR THOSE GAULS, YOUR }ON CAESARION WOULD BE iN THE HANDS OF THE VILLAINOUS BRUTUS*! AND VL SEND THEM A SUMTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT!THis WAY FLL KILL, ‘WITH ONE STORE! "CLEOPATRA AND SE ON THOSE INFERNAL GauL! PS — FOR YOUR SERV CHOLERAMORD: ro R 2OU! HOLE: aH Mag QUPITER PROTECT vou T END OF TIME, MO: SUBLINE CAESAR, SUMMON THE CENTURIONS FROM ZOU ARE TO BE MO AMBASSADORS AND TAKE THS THE SAULISH VILLAGEL ANY MORE OF THAT AND i’LL HAVE YOU SERVED TO THE LiONS iN THE CiRCUS AS A STARTER!F JUMP TO iT, AND\( NO MESSING ‘= AROUND! HONESTLY, i ASK YOu! W sow vere kino VM OF coop OLD ) BRING DRINKING HORNS FOR THESE ‘GENTLEMEN! AVE CAESAR! THOSE WHO ARE ABOUT TO DRINK TO YOUR HEALTH SALUTE YOU! a 1)THAT'S FUNNY. THOSE ROMANS ARE RUNNING AWAY EVEN BEFORE WE CAN RUN AFTER THEN! 2 CAESAR, WHEN $00 ARE WiTk NEL DO Wish YOU ‘COULD CONTROL ‘2oaRSeLP! (SWEAR(oan woth bast all var r friends are reunited in the village square, ASS and t the. Geert give the hrthay hye a a3