Newman 1

Rachel Newman

Professor Keyes

ENG 2950

April 24, 2016

We went out on a Friday night. It was our first date. Prior to this we had had coffee

casually at Starbucks. I was nervous because I had been daydreaming about this guy for the past

two weeks and was really interested in getting to know him. I wasnt sure if the feeling was

mutual, but he was the one who asked me out so I figured there had to be something there.

Right before I left my house I texted him.

Me: Hey, Im getting ready to leave my house now

Him: Okay *emoji with tongue sticking out*

Him: So I should just show up at 8:15?

Him: Or do you just want to pick me up!? *emoji smiley face*

I felt uneasy. Like, this is the first time we were going out and he wanted ME to pick

HIM up? Granted, he was on the way, but still. What if I ended up not enjoying myself and

wanted to leave?

I consulted with my sister Shandra about it and she made a disapproving face followed by

an oh.

Well, maybe he wants a chance to make out with you at the end of the night she added.

Uhh Im not sure Im ready for all of that. What if it leads to more? Im wearing granny

panties! I exclaimed.

Rachel! Change your panties and pick him up.

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So I changed my panties and left to pick him up.

His neighborhood was nice. He lived on a quiet street off to the side. An awkward cul-de-

sac. I say awkward because it had a court at the end, but there were houses on one side of the

street and only woods on the opposite side. It wasnt traditional but I liked it. It felt very private

and intimate.

He walked out of the front glass screen door, casually dressed wearing jeans and a hoodie

with sneakers. I didnt know whether I should watch him as he walked up to the car or pretend to

be doing something else, so naturally I fiddled with Spotify my phone. When he got in the car we

exchanged heys and I put this new playlist on and began driving.

Youre gonna have to tell me how to get out of here I said.

Okay, yeah. he replied.

Is this Beach House? He asked.

I was confused at first, blinded by the inevitable awkwardness of a first date, not realizing

that he was referring to the song playing.

The song playing, is it Beach House? He repeated.

I picked up my phone and glanced down at the screen.

Oh yeah, this is Beach House. I said.

Thats awesome, how do you know about Beach House? He asked.

Honestly I dont. My manager told me to listen to this playlist. Theyre pretty good. I

said.

Your manager has good taste in music. He said.

It was Myth by Beach House that was playing I had already added it to my main

playlist.
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The bar we were going to was only a few short minutes from his house.

Once we were seated of course I was over analyzing everything. At first he slouched in

his seat with his elbow on the table and his head resting on his hand while he looked at the menu.

I was thinking oh dear God, I hope he isnt sloppy. I thought he seemed uninterested at first, but

once he decided what he wanted to drink his attention was on me.

We ended up having a great time. There were never any awkward moments, we were

both interested in talking to one another. It felt so natural and comfortable. He infatuated me to

my very core. He looked straight into my eyes as we talked, his were brown and full of mystery,

one that I was intrigued by and determined to solve. Everything just flowed, even when we

decided that it was time to leave it was unanimous.

He got up to use the bathroom before the server brought the check back and an older man

who had been sitting at the same community table as us walked up to me.

Are you enjoying yourself? He asked.

Yes, were having a great time, thank you. Who are you? I asked.

My names Jim, Im the owner here. He said.

We made small talk about the atmosphere and music selection. I told him my family and I

go there often and we always have a good time whenever we do.

Well I can tell you guys are having a great time tonight, are you two dating or just

friends? He asked.

I thought that was an odd question.

Oh no, not dating. Just friends. I replied, smiling.

Well thats great. Thanks for coming in! Ill see you around. He said as he turned to

leave.
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At this time my incredibly handsome date was back at the table, watching me intently

with his glossy brown eyes as I said my goodbyes to this stranger.

You ready to go? I asked.

Yupp, lets get out of here. He replied.

The night was perfect. The air had that crisp, refreshing smell of spring. I like to think

that I thrive in this weather. Im happy and energetic, I feel awakened and alive along with all of

nature surrounding me.

We made it back to his house, exchanged some words while sitting in my car. There was

tension between us, but a positive tension. I could feel that we both wanted so badly to kiss the

other, and in that moment of confidence--all thanks to my panties--I decided I would take my

chance. So after he said, okay Rachel, well, I had a good night, he leaned in, unsure of whether

to hug or kiss me, and I met his lips with mine.

People always talk about having that spark with someone. Its always the spark that

determines the fate of a relationship. When we kiss sparks fly, or the spark just isnt there

anymore. A common and rather accurate metaphorical description of the chemistry between

people.

Well when I say fucking fireworks blew my car up in flames, it was like the Fourth of

July.

I havent felt intensity like that in a while. He awoke this fire inside of me, and although

Ive never done ecstasy I would like to think that this is how it would feel. Never in my life did I

want so badly to just savor the moment. The feeling was phenomenal and unlike any other, the

purest of desire. We embraced each other with passion, his hands all over me, mine in his hair.

He kept repeating softly oh my God, and the more he said it the more I wanted him. He held
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my face with his hands, staring at me with those brown eyes again, sharp and steady, oh my

God Rachel he said lustfully. We continued in our embrace, all the while Myth by Beach House

was playing on my stereo.

Eventually our pace slowed and ended with him holding my hand between both of his,

rubbing it, and staring into my eyes. I wanted to melt into him right then and there. He had this

way about him that left me wanting so much more.

Do you have any plans tomorrow? I asked.

I have homework but other than that I dont have plans. Why? You wanna hang out?

He replied.

Well I was gonna say, Im going to a winery with some friends, you should come. I

said.

Really? Your friends wouldnt mind? He asked.

No, not at all I said.

Are you sure? Youre not just inviting me to be nice and tomorrow gonna un-invite me?

He said, with that beautiful curve of a smile creeping across his face.

No! I really want you to come. I said genuinely, also smiling at this point.

Okay, well how about I drive since you drove tonight. He said.

Thats perfect, Ill just meet you at your house in the morning. I replied.

Great. Oh! And that means I can show you some music on the way. He exclaimed.

It was pretty cool to finally meet someone who had common interests as me, especially

music.

As I drove home I held a permanent smile on my face, I had so much to look forward to.

And if the next day was going to be anything like tonight then I couldnt wait. I got home and
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was too excited to sleep so I decided to clean my room, the next thing I knew it was 1:30AM. I

woke up the next morning at 7AM, wide-eyed with an insuppressible smile on my face. The sun

was shining through my curtains. They were calling for a perfect seventy-five degree, sunny

forecast. I just knew it was going to be a good day.

The winery was even better than I had expected. I was tipsy after just the tastings. My

friends really liked my date and we all seemed to have an enjoyable time. The weather was

perfect, as predicted. People were there with their dogs, there was a live jazz band that really set

the tone of the atmosphere, and we had a table full of various wines, cheeses, meats, and

crackers. And beside me I had the most perfect man I had ever met. He was just leaning back in

his chair nonchalantly holding his glass of red wine, all cool and collected with his eyes hiding

behind his jet black Ray Bans. I couldnt get enough. Our chemistry from the night before had

never dwindled, and after a few glasses of wine, good conversation, and a little PDA, we were

ready to leave.

As soon as we got in his car our hands were once again all over each other. We eventually

drove back to his house and ended up spending the rest of the day with one another. We made

plans to see each other the next day.

Fast forward through eight days of sleepless nights, not being able to eat because of the

relentless butterflies in my stomach, and multiple FaceTime calls and text messages and were

back at the same bar that we had our first date. I arrived before him and to my surprise the

owner, Jim, was sitting right behind me. He recognized me immediately. We exchanged hellos

and went about with our night.

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Once my date arrived we mingled with friends and had a few drinks, but we both had

long days so we ended up leaving before everyone else.

Although it was mentioned a few times we hadnt had sex at this point. Even though it

was undeniable that we both wanted to, he never pushed for it. And despite the fact that my body

begged for it, my mind disagreed. Its known that if you give in too fast then [most] men will

lose respect for you and quickly become uninterested. I never understood the power struggle

when it comes to sex, and it really is a double standard in my opinion. But, that is beside the

point. The point here is that my body won this night and all of the tension leading up to this was

finally released. It ended with his arms wrapped around me, my head on his chest, and my leg

resting on his as we dozed off into a light sleep on his couch.

We woke up and readjusted a few times throughout the early morning. Around 5 or so I

woke up to him sitting beside me with his glasses on, drinking a glass of water.

I dont know why but I cant fall back asleep he said.

But you were just so sleepy a few hours ago I replied, sleepy myself.

He expressed that he had a few unpleasant dreams, which lead into a more intimate

conversation of him telling me about his past, and how one of his dreams had taken him back to

this terrible experience he had. As he was expressing this to me and taking me back to that

memory with him, I could tell how much it affected him just through the tone of his voice and

the look on his face.

Ive been broken. I mean, the only thing left would be to murder me because life has

broken me. He expressed.

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I didnt know how to respond or what to say. But in that moment of vulnerability I

wanted to pick up all of his broken pieces and put them back together. I wanted to give him all of

the unconditional love that I possibly had to offer and show him that he didnt have to be broken,

and life didnt have to be this terrible thing that breaks you down and tears you apart.

It is both a blessing

And a curse

To feel everything

So very deeply.