TALES CALCULA TED TO DRIVE YO

-~

is issue .-mm.
#.

m
ing
t' # * . *

view
p o i n t of
This issue will change your whole viewpoint
mainly because the insides are upside-down. Turn
insides downside-up, the cover turns upside-down.
What fun, gang! People see you reading with
cover upside-down and think you're crazy!
Send for my FREE Outfit
Cos h
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OEPT. MA-360, CHIPPEWA FALLS. WIS.
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MASON SHOE M F G . CO., Dept. M A - 3 6 0
Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin
Please rush my 50th Anniversary FREE Selling Outfit so I can
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ADDRESS.
TOWN
 Imagine! This big box of 2 1 beautiful new Christmas Cards is yours
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Mail coupon for a w e e k , i n my spare
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STUART GREETINGS, Dept. FB-U7 cards sell them-
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R.B.T., New Mexico
1 om interested in making money with your outfit of
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APPROVAL Get
feature Assort*

9 "Customers can't
t l feature Christmas Assortment FREE, per your offer ment as I R K r e s i s t t h e s e -cards.
GIFT for tryfa* Showing them is a
nice way for any stu-
Name. our plan. d e n t to earn extra
money!"
Address Af. K., Wisconsin
Wait Tfrmf
J Ciry 8. Zone. -Stole..
ti If for fund-raising, give organization's name below STUART G R E E T I N G S , INC.
i
* 4 3 * HCLAKKSn., Oept fB-lT7, Chi094o < ia.
 NO, MARK ANTONY,
PRIVATE eye... IT I S
I WHO AKREST THOUi
Routine * 11... lampoon- ...(b)... the knock. .-Cc)...the knives and ...(d).'..the band-aid.'
type violence, like on the head, t h a t other foreigny objects Puzzling though it
for instance (a) the drives the victim sticking out all over may be...no lampoon
exaggerated sound - into the ground body... very similar is complete with-
effect.... M like a stake/ to routine * 5 / out the band-aid'
 O MIGHT/ CAESAR/ POST THOU LIE SO LOW?
ARE ALL- TH7 CONQUESTS, GLORIES, TRIUMPHS,
SPOILS, SHRUNK TO THIS LITTLE MEASURE?
UH OH '\ ANP Un- \ eoi- ^ S H - S H . ' ^ ...FRlENPS, ... I COME TO BURY CAESAR... Routine *5... Bop
CAESAR ion.'UH- \WHAT / PON'T 4 ROMANS, 'CAUSE WHEN I PIG THAT talk/..Very popular
HAST lOH! MARK A \MAKETH COUNTRY- CRAzy CAESAR, I'M STONEP
SEEN < ANTONY... /SOLILO - )ANy NOISE MEN, LENP EVEN IF I'M PIGGING HIM in lampoons...es-
MUR- , J PRIVATE </ G?uy /PURlNG- ME yOUR SIX FEET UNPER.'... MAN... pecially words Jike
PEREP' 'EyE...IS ^THAT THISSOLILO- EARS. THAT CAESAR WAS THE crazy and dig 7
ik. nf
GOING TO 1 1ST.' / OUV.' no* MOST ANP THE
OUTEST...
J60TTA
'copy POWN C^^r,
THIS SOLILO-.
ouy ANP
LEARNETH By
HEART FOR
SCHOOL.'
SH-SH
HERE GOESETH
SOLILOQUy.'
 OK, SENATORS CASS I US,
JISESS... T R E S O N I M U S , LIG.
U6... LI60MINUS, DE...PE...
PE...AH N U T S / I C A N ' T
PRONOUNCE TH-THINE
N A M E S / - 6 E T THINE
WEAPONS READY BOIS'
<W>/W. " '-'"*" 8^!^:^^^!:^:^"J:^^:-^:^^^^!^::^^^^^^w^^yr^!W^W
...Routine *5...gruesome but very ...However...the victim nev-
popular/ This is where the bul- er seems to mind much,
lets knock huge, round,clean cut and it usually takes a
holes in the victim, throtigh. number of holes to do "
which you can see daylight... him. in..like for instance...
t1
CU1YiMfi Or/N TH#OAt QPT: SO HERE'S THE WAY A ryflCAL-TyPE LAMPOON GOES/... FIRST yOU CnOOSE A
R A D I O snow, OK A T.v.snow, OK A MOVIE, OK A B O O K . . . ; * * . . J U L I U S CAESAR'/... you THEN PROCEED TO R E N A M E I T "STIMUL-IUS
SHMAESER'...OR 'JULIUS. SIE2E HER!..OR HER 5IEZE JULIUS*... AND LIKE THAT.'... HOWEVER. WE WILL STICK WITH . . .
. it right -there / Through- ...Background details.'... Where These drawings can get out
out this story J will, if I may, with the aid of a small microscope, g of hand... very often de - JH
interrupt to point out the i you can find hours of enjoyment |
various routines that a lampoon I in thousands of funny little stroying the main idea as m
uses...for instance routine * 1... background, drawings' l.jl,well as your eyesight/... 22!
MOTUE
r Well, on with the story/ OUR
WINE [*pri (CUE
.o. HCME ..
FCc-.
\Jtm
 |Oear readers/...We in- 1
terrupt this next story I
for a special announce-1
ameat/I.your MAD -
Now, lampoon material
i s very limited, and.
when lampoon writers
m cannot get any more of
Jthis material, they will..
mommm e lampoon, f
i;Comics
iAnd whathave not lampooned |
|are the lampoon comics/, f
iHa/ You think I clutch this ]
I wretched idea from sheer
Today... there are so
many lampoon type I
\ comic .books on the S
' newsstands, the com|
petition is driving me..
mm
...Andso.L.yourMAD ...Here I am. with no more
writer hereby a n -
nounce that there is
no more material left...
and that's why I'm going..
rrirz& /~3 S~J> s~-b>
. Not so.'To watch, t h e
I standard gag situations |
I and routines appearing
I in our different books at
| the same time is truly a...
But competition ie
the American way and:
although we are inclined
to shrug off our com- j
petitors with a mere...
material to finish this
book.'.flowever...there's
one idea left that might
save me from. the...
\ "With thefollowingstory 1
, we propose to take our h
\ brush and our ink...we |
: propose to enter our own I
back yard and run... f
;; ...the fact is. twelve
I comics books during
| the calendar month.
I grind thirty-two lam - |
poon stories a t a...'
- - . - . - . . . .^ . . - , . , , . . . . , - . - ^ f r
...One idea that hasn't
been attacked by the ;
lampoon comics, although
. lord knows they've done'
everything &om soup to...
| So as we adjust our neck <
I on the chopping block,
I our final word is...there J
| i s nothing at -which. |
were not willincj totakea.if
 AM NOW... VOTE FOR YOUR CAHDI&ATE FOR MISS POTGOW OF 95
0 MISS FLUNTNEY BLENT '
iDMbWNDRONPOTGOLD D MISS FLINTNEY BENT ""
I MISS BEDNEY FLUNT MISS BONTNEY FLONT
GEORGE.
J MISS FLUDNEY BENT AAI5S F L O O T N E Y BOONT
MISS W O O N T N E Y GOONT
MISS FLENTNEY BUNT AAI55 POONTNEY SPADAFOONT
MISS BLENTNEY FUNT HEAP
y
2^7 ^^-J^-!tEREiy CHECK M E F E N A M E S ABOVE/... LIKE FOR EXAMPLE IF YOU THINKPHILOPENDRON
POT&OLD, GORGEOUS NIECE OF MR. MELVIN POTGOLD, SHOULD BE ELECTED.. PLACE A CHECK I i S w T
^ X T T H ? I E R C N ^ E T - ' F y U TT,K mV OTHER G ' R L S H O U L P B " C W R S O AHEAD S c E A CHECK NEXT
J ? C T 5 " A f F A T S O U AWR Ef - i' aT H E N B^
E E R OUT THE BALLOT ABOVE AND SEND IT ,N TO US 2 S P WOW
/ YOUR
2^,22?/ ? n * E & F " - VOTE W.LL DETERMINE WHO m 8 B M m S POTS
S U?
O * /9SS/...ANQ REMEMBER... LIKE * S r f * SHVESTER, MISS POTGOLD OF 19S4 SAYS
-fcSU*
* Let's face it, folks/... refreshing...never
frllind... .beer as .beer should, taste...
Sooty! Taste shmaste / We o Pot$olcL
make n o bones about it... VotgolcL
makes you"drunk./ So det Potted.!
6et Pot gold.... extra dry b>eer and-
extra, extra d r y beer/

M I 5 5 POONTNEY SPAPAFROONT
HEAP
MISS PHILODENDRON POTGOLD
...WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE GORGEOUS NIECE "N
OF MR. MEIVIN POTGOLD, OWNER OF POTGOLO BEER J
mmmi
MISS PHILODENDRON POTGO10
/ . . . WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE GORGEOUS NIECE "\
{ OF MR.MELVIN POTGOLD,. OWNER. OF POTGOLD BEES./,-*
 MISS PHILODENPRON PQTGOLP
. . . W H O JUST HAPPENS TO 6E GORGEOUS NIECE \
GEORGE OF WR.MELVIN POTGOID, OWNER OF POTGOLQ BEER. I
MISS FLOONTNEY BOONT MISS WOONTNEY GOONT
 MISS PHILODENDRON POTGOlD
MISS FLUNTNEY BLENT /...WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE <SORGEOUS NIECE OP \
^ MR. MELVIN POT60LD, OWNER OP POTGOLD SEER. /
MISS FLINTNEY BONT MISS BONTNEY FLONT /
MISS EPNEY FLUNT MISS FlUDNEY BENT
MISS FLENTNEY BUNT MISS BLENTNEY FUNT
 A0VERT/5/NG DEPT.: THERE IS A FAMOUS BEER IN THE EAST THAT R(jN5 INTERESTING TYPE APS IN THE NEWS-
PAPERS... INTERESTING- "CAUSE THEY TELL HOW THE BEER IS DRY... IS NEVER PILLING... IS BEER AS BEER SHOULD
TASTE... BUT MAINLY, IS PICTURE OF GOOD-LOOKING DOLL IN MIDDLE LOOKING SOMETHING LIKE T H I S . . .
)(0l OA W&v
Yes...Pot^old beer is refreshing
never filling/ Potgold's extra dry-
ness let's you. taste the clean, clear,
beer flavor. Pot^old beer is beer
as beer should, taste/ Yes sir, we
guarantee Pot^old tastes just
like beer!
BUT HERE COMES THE MAIN PART OF THE ADVERTISING.' fO\) SEE, THIS HERE GIRL IS ONLY MISS POTSOLD OF 1954 '
COMES I9S5,THEN WHAT T... HAH.'... SLY OLD MELVIN POTGOLD, OWNER OF POTGOLD BEER HAS A CONTEST RUNNING
WHERE YOU, THE POTGOLD BEER DRINKER. CAN CHOOSE MI5S POTQOLD OF I9S5.' AND SO ON THE NEXT
4 PAGES, WE PRESENT CANDIDATES FOR M/S5 POTGOLD OP /9SS '
 MAD MUMBLINGS
Dear Editors,
. . . To you our thanks. In our school there is an
E.C. fan. He is a raving, ranting, rampaging, roving,
slivvering, slobbering, senseless maniac. He goes down
the halls turning flips, hollering Hoooohahhhh, and
otherwise making an idiot of his crazy self. He goes to
all extremes to get attention, even if it means climbing
up on a desk and diving off on his pointed little head.
But then once a month, in comes MAD, and for a
whole day he is quiet as a bird while he sits around
and drools over MAD. We want to thank you for a
wonderful comic book that gives us a day of rest. Too
bad you can't make MAD a daily.Blue Beathard
Kirbwille, Tex.
. . . I just read MAD and I thought the auto-seat ad-
vertisement was good.Rocky Colasanti Detroit,
Mich.
. . . We of SPAMWF (Society for the Prevention of
Abuse and Misuse of the Word Furshluggin'er) strong-
ly object to the misuse of the word "furshlugginer" in
your stories. You have distorted the true meaning of
this word by associating it with such terrible words as
"potrzebie." Please don't! Burl Moss, Pres. SPAMWF
-Detroit, Mich.
. . . 1 have just read your smoking test and now I am
the proud owner of no head. I have a joke: Hans and
his parents are taking a walk. His Ma falls over a cliff.
His Pa says, "Look Hans, no Ma'".(no name given)
. . . Last week my best friend informed me that in
his work he finds gobs and gobs of issues of MAD. The
next da\ I got a job with him, and now 1 am living
happily ever after with a warehouse full of MAD mag-
azinesStan the Garbageman- ( no address)
We have been reading and enjoying MAD for
quite some time now and we haven't found much
wrong with it, but even so. we have one gripe We
really think that scape-goating and fun-poking at any
Race, Religion, Color or Creed is unnecessary MAD
hasn't much of this, but we all agree that Chop Chop
Chop of The Black and Blue Hawks in MAD No 5
was portrayed as a verv bad picture of the Chinese peo-
ple yid was shown as infenoi to the other characters
in the strip We aren't saying that things like this hap-
pen very often in MAD. bui we're sorry that a good
mag such as MAD has to lei it happen at allRobert
GlabersonBrook I, n, N Y
Wt are sorry tl reader Glaberson or anyone else in-
terpreted our story's purposes as such. Actually, we are
and were very conscious of the evils of race prejudice
even as we wrote the aforementioned story.ed.
. . I used to think your comic-books were O.K., but
now I think it's time you guys started to grow up. It
was all right just throwing junk in your books and try-
ing to sell them to kids who arc low in mentality as
you are, but since the new edition came out with the
picture of the Madonna on it with one of your screwed-
up comic books in her hand, it is going a bit too far.
Have guys gotten so hard-up and ignorant for those
comic-books that you have to print a picture of her on
your front cover? Don't get me wrong. It's not the pic-
ture that I'm mad about but what the picture stands
for But I guess you guys'have not the brains to figure
that out.Frank Smith ( no address)
MADS No- 14 cover is the famous Mona Lisa by
Leonardo Da Vinci and has no connection with any
religious figure whatever.ed.
... If Mrs. Harriette K. Vandenbaum of New Haven,
Conn. (Mad Mumblings, MAD No. 14) is right, she
must have been on a steady diet of MAD for over 40
years. If you want my opinion, which I am sure you
don't, I think that MAD is the height of intellectual-
jsm.Gilbert O'ConnellBlairstown, N. J.
. . . In reading issue No. 14, I read, as I always do,
the Mad Mumblings section. I have not had the good
fortune of being a MAD fan for very long, (about six
months), but I bristled when I read Mrs. Vanden-
baum's letter. I have, from the onset, been a firm be-
liever that all of the humor in MAD can be appreci-
ated by the very young reader, but I also believe that
there isn't, and there never has been anything in MAD
that could be in any way considered a detriment. I my-
self am a comic-book hater, but MAD is more than a
comic-book. MAD is a publication that makes its
readers stay on their toes to get all the humor. But back
to Mrs. Vandenbaum. Madam, you must think your son
is a weak-willed moron, or a blithering idiot if you
think he and others like him will be led to a life of
crime by this magazine. I believe you will find that the
age-group that reads MAD is considerably older than
that for any comic-book. In closing, I would like to say
that this is one adult reader who is not an idiot.
Phillip Loeb-Taylorville, III.
COll Y> 14)-/KXS>YN IPVV-
- ( Kicth Nutt) Midland, Tex.
&<$!$> A<SAAW l M M l S m 4H* *S? M l YrQ<y>SK OHft
#X*A? V.X0I6 I I P10V-5015W !U<Sa-
(Ginger Adler)Los Angeles, Cal
ics>*pi d>ui4 xvm ^oj. doftifo ileSA* ^ioiv
CM 11 \om KO\){ vNcj Oix *I0VA ?i <x
ffltoCjdrt v-7 0$ vlv **$> * t f t t 1*\- NlO$>
$>lf?SX *lVO$i?,8? v* Ov vOAX. #00 I i
r i o s n , -**<?\.c>*i
H d A5HV- +HI<J> e&rtbn-
(Sam Browman)Albert Lea, Minn.
. Come on, let's see more of Wolverton's work!
J D. Carlson-New York, N. Y.
1 WANT BASILi-Richard Scott-Bellerose, L. 1.
You've got him.'ed.
Remember! You can buy a 10c issue of MAD for
I2'/2C if you subscribe! $1.00 for eight issues mailed
in strong manila envelopes! Send subscriptions and
mail to:
MAD Editors
Room 706, Dept. 1 7
225 Lafayette St.
New York 1 2, N Y.
 1KX51MW
oragMMirMfffi
SNO WE CAME UP WiTH..%
H i l if 1011 SML,fflf!JB1III1 im
THE SEASICK EDITORS OF
NOW YOU SEARCH PIRACY
ROOM 70fc
225 LAFAYETTE STREET
FOR IT/ N.y.C. 12, N Y
OKAY. BILGE RATS.' YOU SHANGHAIED M E . '
BUT IF YOU CAN'T FIND PIRACY L ENCLOSE # I . O O FOR THE NEXT BIGHT ISSUES
AT YOUR LOCAL NEWS STAN 0 , YOU OF PIRACY.'
CAN SUBSCRIBE! JUST FILL OUT NAME
THE COUPON AND MAIL, TOGETHER ADDRESS
WITH ONE HUNDRED PIECES OF CITY
CENT ("THAT'S ONE BUCK, LAND- ZONE
STATE
L U B B E R S / ) , TO: wcT
" ^ *
 Consistent with our past practice of devoting
this page to a serious analysis of the situation
of the world today and how it affects us, we
present still another article taking up this sub- - - -MM b a x brra
'- - '
aad s c a *
ject. In the past, we have had analysts repre- . r-bp >al . - a i r All-
M * Iba* Ibr a n > prtM- facur - . arakd. - a .
senting the bigger nations presenting their ^ , paawNbir W aaaar aback* S* d w la <Uapar
\akaaar* br l a p p f r d la br d w * ib.. a*d t m i
w k a i r aad M a n c a S a l U n , vbacb - - art aa> brr
views. However, this time we thought we ibr f i n / a n r a l i l prabrraaa a* payw J aaiiap aad atratna*
eraaarbi daan. aaaulrr br ibr NUr. aad p n . | T W l u t a * naapcaJ wba-l r i iba * m a d aha aadadad Aa-
might turn to one of the small nations for laanHry naiaihail T^ypi
r -a ibr
. a - p. .l i. o*
-- . . -*--. - I - - - . m t . , , . ^ .4 1 - - 4 v
kno-lrd.. - i a a . - . a V
their view since we deem the small view just r bajaral pauad H . aaaa
* - . , drpaau xD, -a 1 ^ - 1 <W dr W aratai* .a. '
as important as the big view and after all a
small view can be very informative by con-
r paxa. I -ru^a. t aWy by Uarar K . I I I >
trast and so we present this small view from r a n laaaad drpaaaa M bajblrvrai balb a* - , - - f -f -
ataaa K a a i a x Hardrr baa
the small country, this small view entitled...
ailata ad rorbJra lar Iram (ar >aa Ananaa aad * v d pubbaatd a cBUa*ut n iba (oaarbaa a> I ) * * - * aadar tba
Of. f r - KrradMaa. . - . . . >r*/arri /-.-*- -, a/ Iba J
akrlla aa tcrpt. aha| -vlb brra a< aaa. aa ; CaflaW
pMafl ra-aaa rd iba ara. A i a l a t b ncnaajirad r h r i r d r a - r r a l . aa \
raawad by Ibr ar. a n a a * Or, Uad. aad O O t n a a raaUaaa
by nappau abrrr l a m a a * aaa H * r a - | A a m i * , tfrdM dWMMbna,
I ibrrrfar* baa*V < raopr a w M a c
had aad aaa. ] a w Era* Drafaran
a tbrat aaaxtad r n a p r i M. BB*XM apprar tbai
- W * iW ~> j . - ~ H w t * . ( . : * - : .ar-. |
?>. aharb if ratWr t M b n * * * * M 1 d< bxd n i i br -rj. -
; - b a r h r l a i r ( < M - i l i a . ) * h * 'mm i<W t * w m p ad
a^^rrd.
aad) I * . I T Oiaaiajaaa. - P w a w tbr dark aa> I
l^dra b m k l r t i <
W r r o n pparnMt* - . a pwa^aVrrad i n r t r r . akbnajb iW
- * - ' - * - br iiupW a m W I M ad w c*r<a(a>> draror* iba
M H M W i m b i al i W rral fawabr r-C n a a a |rafcarr TV,
W i - " n Aiadrrn* al Firrtcij baa brra M ibt (arifraw a t 1%.
- * - l - I i(y r w > l ' j l ( - . - - * T - > a - i - " "i^ * . - Wrrarr , raacr aad Rf-ar T W Arab- a o r , .otbxtM aad a( had aad ara.
aratnuu adhrna< i W > datlnaar of i W Kaaraw anrw
Thn- a* ba.uk bad a daaajiraw. t < m a* ptoofrafaWaj u r b a n ha, *-. < p a M p - u l b a M .1 T. I. I . M l
Im H a l l aba., a b b * - a y a*bapa b !/] A d n i W grarril rrvival a( ihaaial aiudara. iW prabbwi . . . - r . atcaaUaUatr anb r w U aad laamk Hr atrrptrdl
m m l lan-ato 1W1 tW " " - " **< Aa tart* aa l > f i J 1". Caaturd O l ) - * * > had atadhd lb. roaaxr. aa daab - M > at tW aa.aaM - - * . . a x r aaor* brM . I W - w , I I > r . a n r a -ad Laabaaa aa io naaartarr r*a(am. Wa
~ i aa I W pa* *rr i W aaaar u >bo a a . km taaaapral >ark ( . ; 4 ) W amppMrd ' h i faaah had a l . by I W Wal ad aar* rarabaaUas T W irar aaiarr r i
tut >t * u * - i b b < - * * * * r w baa* drpaattrd at
ana aadrra*Tdia * * ^ ' " / " "
Ward ikat ap a * r J T W I b i n by ail p r a t tar ana. 4r<J a t .
avrkaaa, v* lar abafc taaaptMalrd W a t * , U S<*chd H * i v
TSitv**"* ^ - l iW* * Wa W r * p-r*rd f
|aba rwrlaw d 7 a - i l
rt-V. >
I i*:p.'jr".~*"ri," *'^T < J i " n J-- MSJ*
aiaaWd M b b a l - a V i rl ' * baa daHea"* drfrrr
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 S E E HOW POW INSTANT C O F F E E ...JUST WATCH HOW WHEN 1
CONSISTS O F MILLIONS O F A P P HOT W A T E R , THE- H O N E S T
T I N Y FLAVOR S U P S ? HEAR. THE T O G O O D N E S S FLAVOR S U P S
HOLLOW S O U N D WHEN I . T A P BURST.'... S E E . . . I PUT IN THE
O N A F L A V O R B U P ? WHEN YOU C O F F E E S U P S . . . THEN THE HOT
A P D HOT WATER., THESE FLAVOR W A T E R . . . T H E N THEY B U R S T .
B U D S BURST, R E L E A S I N G A
F L O O D OF HONEST T O G O O D -
NESS COFFEE FLAVOR.
HERE IS THE O R I G I N A L PHOTOGRAPH A S IT WHICH ALL GOES TO PROVE I AM NOT
L O O K E P B E F O R E IT WAS QOCTOKECJ YOU WILL ANPAIEVER, HAVE BEEN A RED-SKIN,1'
NOTICE THAT T H ' w A R B O N N E T ' IS A T U R K E Y
S I T T I N G O N A F E N C E B E H I N D EVEN S T E V E N . ' . . . NOW 'EVEN'... N O NEED TO RAISE
YOU WILL NOTICE THE. 'WAR-PAINT' I S HOUSE - YOUR. VOICE A N P GET A N G R Y / I >!
PAINT EVEN S T E V E N W A S S P A T T E R E P WITH R E A L I Z E Y O U ' R E N O T REALLY A
WHILE PAINTING- HOUSE. WITH ' T O M A H A W K ' R E D S K I N BUT M E R E L Y A D U P E
WHICH IS IN R E A L I T Y A PAiNT- R O L L E R . O F THE R E D S K I N S . ' I ' M N O T M A D
A N D I ' M WILLING T O SETTLE T H I S
ALL VERY OUICKLY IN THE H O N E S T ,
STRAIGHTFORWARD M A N N E R THAT
I S THE INTELLIGENT WAY T O PISCUSS
D I F F E R E N C E S OF O P I N I O N A N D
L THAT SIMPLE M A N N E R IS .
.THAT SIMPLE MANNER IS.
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M R . /^OPERATOR ...NOT WAHTIN& T O TAKE UP T O O
MUCH T I M E , I WILL M A K E MY QUESTION B R I E F A N D
T O THE POINT.'... MY Q U E S T I O N I S A S K E D WITH T H E
H O P E O F (SETTING- T O THE POINT A S QUICKLY A S
P O S S I B L E ...THE WAY EVERY GOOV CITIZEN S H O U L P
S E T T O T H E POINT A S QUICKLY A S P O S S I B L E . '
FOR S P E E D A N D PROMPTNESS IS THE L I F E B L O O P i
O F O U R CIVILIZATION THAT CANNOT GO O N
WITHOUT S P E E D . . .
HERE'S THE WAV IT SHOULD HAVE STARTED.' FIRST OF ALU... WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO A PR06RAM CALLED "THE
SENATE SUBCOMMITTEE HEARINGS ON THE ARMY INVESTIGATIONS"?...THE WHOLE THING NEEDEPA SNAPPIER
TITLE... LIKE FOR INSTANCE, "TRUTH OR COHNSEQVBNCES*... 'BREAK THE RANK"... OR...
TELEVISION tXPT.: HERE WE HAVE A SCENE FROM A TELEVISION SHOW THAT BEGAN IN APRIL ANC
THAT BY NOW EVER* MAN, WOMAN ANP CHILP IN THE 0 . 5 . A . 5 H O U I P BE FAMILIAR W I T H / A L -
THOUGH THIS SHOW WAS ORIGINALLY PROGRAMMEP FOR TWO WEEKS... AT THIS WRITING, I T
SEEMS TO HAVE BECOME A REGULAR SUSTAIN BRQAPCAST THAT MAY GO O N F O R E V E R /
 WHEE.' NOW ...IT SURE IS FINE WHICH
LET'S THROW JIGGIE, TO SEE A REMINDS
(CORNED-BEEF PSYCHOLOGICAL ADJUST- ME... HOW'S
A N D CABBAGE MENT TO THE FORMER YOUR M O M ,
AT S O M E O N E VICIOUS MARITAL ED ?
ELSE'S HOUSE.' RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN
YOU AND M A 6 S 5
BY GOLLY, WELL, DINTY... FOR MANY YEARS :.. HOWEVER, IN MORE SERIOUS HERE YOU f
JIGGIE... THINGS NOW, EVEN THOUGH I'VE ALWAYS MOMENTS I'VE SEEN HAVING ARE, BOYS..
HAVE CERTAINLY BEEN A RICH, SUCCESSFUL LATELY, THE THOUGHT STRUCK AND IF YOU
CHANGED BUSINESS MAN WITH A TOP HAT M E , WITH MY MONEY I COULD SEE THE OLD
AROUND HERE ( I'VE HAD TO STAND FOR THAT BUY PROTECTION AGAINST THIS BAT ACTING
WHAT THE THOUGHT STRUCK ME I UP... LET 'R
MISERABLE ROUTINE OF BEING
HAPPENED 7 COULD BUY BODYGUARDS.' THE HAVE tT
BEAT UP BY MAGGS TO GIVE THE THOUGHT STRUCK ME I COULD AGAIN
FOLKS OUT THERE LAUGHS/ STRUCK MAGGS WITH A
LITTLE HELP
YOU SEE,
DINTY, .
IT'S GOOQ
TO BE
SERIOUS
ONCE IN A
WHILE.'
' #'
... ANP HOW QO YOU LIKE THE
REAL. EFFECT O F THE CLU&BEO
FIST ON THE NOSE WHICH IS
TREATED SO COMICALLY IH
. ,
...ANP HOW vo YOU U < THE \
SHARP EXCRUCIATING- PAIN OF \
THE SWUNS SHOE AGAINST THE
BASE OF- THE SPINE THAT /
ALWAYS SETS SUCH A LAUGH /
IN THE FUNNIES /
I ^ K ^ I *'BnJ^S-
^^M
8 VHij^^^H
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THAT'S R I G H T / HAVE A <SOOP LAUGH WHILE M Y
WIFE B E A T S M E UP! LAUGH LIKE YOU H A V E ALU
THESE Y E A R S
...6ET UP, YOU WO#M,
A N P LOOK AT ALL THE
HAPPy REAPERS
SMILING AT MOW Z
KNOCKEP YOU O V E R
WITH THE P ' S H E S / J
PSjiililii
BY SOLLY, LET'S FACE ...THEM STARS INDICATE ...ANP BY (SOLLY. IT'S . . . T H E M THINGS A I N ' T
TH E FACTS / THEY THIN K. PAIN .' LET THE R E A D E R S SUPPOSEP T O BE FUNNY FUNNY, BY (SOLLY.'THEM
IT'S SO FUNNY WHEN 1 HIT 7 W / M S E L V E S IN THE WHEN I (SET THEM LUMPS THIN6S COULD INDICATE
SET HIT IN THE H E A P TO H E A P A N P S E E IF THAT O N MY HEAP. A N P THAT A BRAIN CONCUSSION
THE ACCOMPANIMENT O F PAIN IS FUNNY/ CIRCLE THAT INDICATES A OR INJURY T O T H E
A FEW STARS PRAWN IN.' BLACK EYE,'
...AFTER ALL...
IT IS VERY
UNNATURAL A N P
0I5CONCERTING
TO SEE THESE
LITTLE FISURE5
JUMPING OUT
O F THEIR FRAMES
EVERY ONCE
IN A WHILE,'
BECAUSE OP TMIS N E W F I N A N C I A L CR1S1S...TO WE MUST WORK ALL NIGHT... W&BIJ? HULLO?
MEET IT... w MUST PUSH ASIDE ALL OTHER IF IT MEANS NOT SLEEPING WHAT'S THAT
n
MATTERS/... WE MUST SEND OUR CONCERTED WE MUST WORK... IF IT YOU S A Y ?
EFFORT IN ONE DIRECTION.'... WE MUST MEANS NOT EATING, ...THE BOYS
SACRIFICE OUR TIME, OUR ENERGY. AND IF WE MUST WORK... IF ARE HAVING
NEED BE, OUR VERY LIVES .' IT MEANS NOT
BREATHING, WE..
WHAT'S THAT?..
NEWSPAPER CARTOON OEPT. : YOU KNOW... EVER/ DAY, PEOPLE LAU&H THEIR HEAP5 Of F AT THE MOST SERIOUS TMINSS.'
THAT I S , PLENTY THINGS WE THINK ARE FUNNY... IF WE TAKE A SECOND LOOK...THESE THIN6S ARE VERY SERIOU5.'...
SOMETIMES EVEN DISASTROUS/... FOR INSTANCE...TAKE THAT COmC COUPLE... JISGIE A N D M A 6 6 S I N . . .