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TRALids¢ IT'S ALMOST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE! ! THEY'RE AVAILABLE NOW EXCLUSIVELY FROM KENZER AND COMPANY. TO PURCHASE YOUR VERY OWN SET OF KODT MIEN EATURES (719.95 + 23 S/H), SEND A CHECK OR MONEY ORDER (MADE PAYABLE TO KENZER AND COMPANY) TO THE MAIL ORDER FULFILLMENT ADDRESS LISTED ABOVE 02 FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS FOR PLASTIC. * OK, it’s almost 100 good to be true because your set of miniatures will be unpainted. We were working on a deal with some female Russian camers to hand-paint every set but unfortunately the deal fell through.KENZER AND eek Koighnsof the Dinner Table #35, ‘September, 1999 oe ‘Company, A Rghs Reserved igh of he Dine ‘Tble™ ‘agate ISSN 1526:07%) is ‘Keaver ane qascarcs $3600 in Canada and US Mir hee vat det or ‘money order (made payable 10 ‘Kener andl Company) to: Kemer & Company KODT: 830 W. Main Street PMBILA Lake Zurich, IL 60087 or fax a valid Vise, MasterCard, related: merchandising. are also available, See inside cover ofthis fssue or our website for details ‘Jolly B@v0l.com (editorial inguiries only) oF KenzerCo@aol.com (all other inquiries), World Wide Web: ilmenbers. a0 Submissions: Ne vecept subis- sions for sip ideas, jokes, ci toons te, We at nore in o- fing anything that other simers “Death Awaits” The KODT Developmen Jolly R. Blackburn, Bi Steve Johansson and Davi C DEPAR’ TMENTS: i“ Bries Frosh The Attic a ys Heatd it on the Game \ine Wei Back Room@ic che Gane Pigs COLUMNS: =. letin, Disks of Wondrous Power Brian's Stuall Press Picks” Parting Shots”) \, THE TRI WageeMe This Coal-I Lag! A Horse oy ‘A Mate Point ‘Shardar” ‘The Shields of Bandsan” Although he wonit admit it, Knights of the Dinner Table se fr he monty Koighs pai ee na a iE ae oe 1 ormation of the KO! a tte ees is ies nd corde Sea epee forthe ral is ( publing out yearn be contd“] = = 4 iad = = = i} -+ rs 7) — 4 *) Editorial of a Madman “You know what I see when I look across the dealers’ room floor? Survivors!” Exhibitor at Origin’s 1999 (Columbus, Ohio) ‘any people described my editorial in the September, M* issue of KODT (624) as ‘depressing’. I was wri ten immediately after returning fiom GenCon ‘98 and I reported that, although Kenzer and Company had had tecord breaking sales, the 1998 summer con season had been a Season of change, With several companies giving up the ghost, being bought out, and/or lying off employees, the furure of many ‘companies seemed a bit grim, if ot uncertain, If the 1998 con season was one of ‘change’, then the 1999 sca: son can only be described a one of far comeback: GenCon 9 has to rank as one of the single best gaming events I've ever per- sonally attended, Here's my personal shorclist ofthe reasons why; * Judges Guild. Those of us who fist picked up the dice back in che late 70's or early 80's couldnt help bu gee the warm fuzzies upon leaning the old adventures we frst cut our teeth on were bing refurbished and re-released. Passing by the JG booth was, We runing into a old fend. + Dungeons and Dragons 3rd Edition. ‘The big buzz at the con, of course, was the “Future of Dungeons and Dragons” sem- inar where gamers were hand-ed juicy tidbits of information on one of the most anticipated releases in years. Too bad we have to wait a full year for the real ching but most D&D fans were thrilled just ro hear tha che game has grea chings instore for i in the coming months. * Gary Gygax. Speaking of old fiends, on Saturday the news shot around the exhibit hall floor like a bullet. “Did you hear? Gary is ramming a game n the cane!” Hundreds of gamers wan- dered through the castle to just see the GrandMaster weaving an adventure, + Avalon Hill, Many of you will recall that Avalon Hill was ‘bought up by Hasbro last year. Most gamers mourned the deal as the end of an era and held out little hope that the classic AH board games would ever be produced again, Boy, were we wrong, The old gid is back and she's looking pretty classy. Do yourself a favor and go: to wwwavalonhill.com and diol. ‘* Dave Ameson. Speaking of D&D, Dave Arneson showed upat GENCON having just recurned from the set of the upcom- ing Dungeons and Dragons movie (10 be releared nex fil). He ‘oven promised to do a write-up about the movie for a Futute issue of KODT, Hoody Hoo! [Incidentally the rumors that the movie would be bared on the Gord the Rogue novel series is not true] * Beer and Pretiel Games. One of the things I noticed miss- ing at GENCON this year were the pretentious RPG deburs we saw at past cons. Maybe the message has finally gotten through — gamers want content and quality — not hypel More bang for the buck! Companies like Cheapass Games, Placebo Pres, Gold Push Games and tnany other rcltively small companies seemed to be seealing the thunder this year. Also absent were the daom-and-gloomers Forecasting, the death of gaming as we know it. Maybe they got the message as well — gaming is alive and well Allin ali was a great con season and weir looking forward tothe next one. (Except for Dave Kenzer who lost all his body air when some- ‘ne walked up behind bim and screamed, “Pokemon, Pokemon” and James Midler who came down with Coupokesidesaddle ab atthe com sand had to be carried out on gurney) Before closing this sue, al of us at Kenzer and Company want ‘0 thank ous readers for making 1999 a fanatic year. Not only did you snag the Origins Awards for us (Best Prfsiomad Games Magazine of 1998 - our second win) but you helped push sles of KODT far beyond anything we cou have imagined. According the Riles TOP 30 bestselling ties ic in the Seprember istue of Comic Retailers we recently outsold Spider-Man: Chapter 1 (Marvel) and JSA Secret Files (DC).. (fou crent grout nae continues we expect 10 break the 20,000 dsrbuaion milesone by yor end). Hope you enjay the issue in hand. Once again, the entire KODT Development Team would like to thank everyone who took the time co vote on the Origins Awards. You guys are petty * Quy, P. Bde Jolly R. Blackburn OKAY 6 THE UMBER HLILK PULLS OUT A FREAKIN’ SHOTGUN AND EMPTIES BOTW BARRELS INTO YOUR FACE/ MEANWHILE THE ORC-SLAVERS IN KEVLAR ARMOR MAKE OFF WITH YOUR HORSES. THE WOUNDED KOBOLD-SCOUT ON THE RIDGE FIRES A RESCUE FLARE. YOU CAN HEAR THE DULL-DRONE OF THE COMBAT-COPTERS MOVING IN TO EVACUATE HIM. T KNEW I SHOULON‘T SHOTGUN? HOW THE HELL DOES HE LOAD THE DAMN THING? 1 DON'T THINK UMBER HULKS HAVE FINGERS D0 THEY? HAVE LOANED DAVE MY CYBER-PATH ‘SUPPLEMENTS. BRIANP YOU'VE GOT TO 90 SOMETHING. HES MANGLING THE RULES AGAIN, MULKS WITH SHOTGUNS? THAT ROCKS ASS// | YEAH...1 KNOW. BUT UMBER Issue #35: Death Awaits”Our Readers Talk Back! Dear KODT, 1 had jus finished reading KODT on the subway and was waking ro wotk when the enlowed pec of adver ltertue caught my ey No other sigas of KODT fandom from this group — though F think. that “7 wazte ‘em with my Croszbow" would be a great angst rap tune. Kevin Maroney New York, ‘New York my Ue UAT Ts ‘Thanks for taking the time to send in your find, Kevin. We love Aearing about all the heady hoo refrences out there. In rcent months tbe erned at at oe profane! ura hg Dad be farmer in Des Moines, Iowa abo use the catchpbs. I gues tat psa of Gomer Pyle was more popear then we though. Either sat, cor there are a few closet KODT fans owe there Jolly Dear KODT, ‘A member ofa group I game in on Sundays recendly was kind camp bing his comis tourgame. | oud chem ious Thaditt realized that many of the catch phrases he had incorpo- rated into our sessions were from you ‘Aso lot of the arguments and tribulation chat are accounted in your comic are reminiscent of games since past. Bu, the best part for me (being a gamer of many yearn. Ls nad on itis finding iy alter-ego in the comic. TAM SARA! Not only am I often the only git! gamer in cereain «quests and often push for less hack-and-slash, but my cousin is the GM! Being familar with D8D since I was 4, and sil loving it, T pve you props and chank you on behalf of me and my group! KirstervAge 20 coffegjunkie@juno.com Dear KODT, 1 just purchased ‘Tales From the Vault ‘Two at GenCon, (On page 51 is a comic about IGOR (Inueli Gathering of Role- layers) willbe spending next yeat in Ital, and had pretty much given up on gesting any roleplaying done while there, But this IGOR indicates that thre are role-payers in Israel. I red to search for it online, with no sucees. So, if you have any informa- fon aati woud gel anpciteiti you cold edit 0 ime. Oh, a few weeks ago, I didnt have an adventure prepared and I used the ‘belligerent Dtvarf trick and ic worked! (Thar it worked aves rather fghtening) Eph Unell via E-mail Thanks forthe leer Eph, Our IGOR comtat i: Aca Barso [asa forum? org) 77 Rambac St Relanana 43601 ISRAEL Belligrent Dusarf trick, eh? Works every time. Nashing touches aff banger of ple charac be gd cbs here. Joly Dear KODT, Reading your episode "Night of Gaming Dangerously” reminds me of how | first tan into role-playets, [was working as @ student doing. psychological testing at the Feliciana Forensic Facil, an insiution for the criminally insane in Louisiana 1 sttude up an acquaincance with a couple ofthe sociopaths there (ay th mx herning prope ad ytd me abot ome ot their D&D games ther: “They commented on how thugs generally played beefy hack- andslashers, while con-men and sneak-thieves more usually played thief and rogue types. Tve gone on to ply and enjoy role pe ames: i: ‘but at the time it a tobea a ‘exotic it of prison lore. So anyway, you shouldn't necessarily expect Sich tnd Coach wo be dices about Hlcanaster Name Withheld Sociopath 1s thatthe new GURPS supplement we've been hear- ing s0 much about? Do yeu happen to know the dy and time they game? We get to Lena fom time ta time and were alway look b. Doi ‘ng for garme-sesions to crash. Do they serve sacks? I their GM up on Thetis rd dion? % % Jilly Dear KODT, 1 just finished reading issue #33 Wild Wild Hack, and I got the thought that chete are people who are seriously trying the things that you publish in Parting Shots even after you mention in your Report from MarCon 34 not co try the Things to do in an Hevator to Annoy People. This tes in with the people who are insulted by same of your comic sip, ‘Thos of ou mo ar tking his lf cu ae missing whar the word ‘comic’ means. Ths is nota soap opera. 1 dt in Sea ping to behaving anyooe lve cl Inthe words of William Shatner: Geta Life” Ifyou dont like having fan with this material, go back to reading gothic novel leaving the rest of us to laugh our fool heads off A personal note: I would prefer the format to remain oriented sean bar deck roleplay it dn yeu do ad ame materials or non-KODT stuff, {vend to ignore it — except he back, Bree page Saniog wth Tard k on te Grapevine, which I ike, Again, thar my choice. Everyone else who wants the addition- al articles. mote power to you, Thanks fr the laughs. Keep up the good work Craig D. Cummings via E-mail Dear KODT, {want to thank you for writing KODT, Thelastight years of my life have been spent in the company of gamers - may husband and his friends. No. other magazine or comic book speaks to me the way yours does. When do you. find time to spy on my dining room? I sweat I've heard some ofthe conversations in KODT in my ovin house. Keep ‘em coming. I rely on your eomic book to keep my sanity. T want to be Sara when I grow up. Suri Dunn Fairview Park, Ohio PS. If this E-mail should make it into an upcoming KODT could you please warm THE BOYS (John, Matt, Mike, Dave, Brian and Jason) that Iwill take MY HackMaster+12 to the next ‘one of thei who forgets to pu the colt seat down? ‘YOU CAN WRITE TOUS VA E-MAIL AT JOL.LYRR@ AOL. COM! OR YOU CAN SEND YOUR SNAIL MAIL TO KOOT LETTERBOX, 1003 NONROE PIKE, MARION, 46953 a Eee = rl I] a mi a = 4 =OKAY AS YOU RIDE ALONG THE ROCKY SHORE OF LAKE HAZARD YOLI NOTICE THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF GNAWED BONES AND BLOODY SEAGULL FEATHERS STREWN ALONG THE TRAIL SIDE. IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS ‘THAT SOMEONE OR SOMETHING HAS BEEN COMING TO THE LAKE TO SCROUNGE FOR FOOD. SEA GULLS? THAT MUST MEAN Wen Ree ere WHO THE HELL. WOULD EAT A 7 ‘SEAGULL? THAT'S DISGUSTING, i OUR TOES, EVERYONE? fey) A FEW MINUTES LATER AAS YOU ROUND THE POINT ON THE SHORELINE YOU FIND YOURSELF A een BRE N's HOLONG A tARGE MATTOCK ROUGHLY THE SE CF A Sereee Tb EUMDOHA etn He's Y THIRD-WORLD NATION. WITH THE FULL MOON RISING JUST OVER HS el AN co anh eld EFT SHOALDER AND THe STANT HOW. F & TIMBER WOLF BREAKNG ‘THE EERIE SILENCE OF THE NIGHT, HE STRIKES AN INTMIDATING POSE. ‘THE HAIR ON THE BACK OF YOUR NECKS STANDS ON END. ee enero UH OH, EVERYBODY! LOOKS LIKE THINGS ARE ‘A FLAT-FOOTEO OGRE? ‘(AS IT SHOULD BE, THAT ARé You une? 1 THousur © GOING TO GET BLOODY, REAL BLOODY? WAS SOME OF B.'s WE WIPED THOSE BRUTES 6000 GAO? ey > APPARENTLY ONE OF EN IT WAS AWESOME! THE WHOLE WIGH OGRESP?P!/ I’M SORRY T MISSED THAT ONE. I WAS THE INSTRLICTOR’S ‘ADVENTURE CENTERED AROUND THREE "ASSISTANT FOR THE A/OW OGRE SEMINARS AT MACKMASTER CAMP LAST ‘TRIBES OF HIGH OGRES EMBROILED SUMMER, T WISH I COULD HAVE TAKEN A CRACK AT SETTING LIP NEGOTIATIONS IN A FEUD THAT HAD BEEN GOING BETWEEN THE TRIBES AND ENDING THE FELIO. WHAT A LINIQUIE ADVENTURE HOOK/ ON FOR THREE CENTURIES. THE FLAT-FOOTS, THe WEBBED-TOES. YEA 10 ELIMINA} NO Tie GHUB-FOOTS, HER ACTS. STE Ce ol Wo Gn vee le Ws ‘OVER INTO THE SURROUNDING WE TOOK A DIFFERENT APPROACH. THE ONE XWAY 30 ENSURE-A SETTLEMENTS AND WE WERE HIRED TO BRING A WALT TO THE FEUDING.YOU WIPED OUT TWO ENTIRE TRIBES OF OGRES??!! PRETTY AMAZING HUH? THREE P.C.'S TAKING ON THOUSANDS AND LIVING TO TELL THE TALE, -SIGH- BUT IT WAS WO CAKE WALK, ‘ONE GOT AWAY, I GUESS WE WEREN'T AS THOROUGH BACK IN ‘OR SO WE THOUGHT, APPARENTLY THOSE DAYS AS WE ARE NOW, LOST A DAMN GOOD CHARACTER IN THAT ADVENTURE, OH, SURE/ T WAS WONDERING HOW LONG IT WOULD BE BEFORE YOU ‘THREW FRANZ DEVE IN MY FACE AGAIN. I SAIDI WAS SORRY! IT AIN‘T RIGHT, BRIAN, YOU KNOW IT WASN'T BOB'S FAULT THAT HE ROLLED A ONE AND FELL ASLEEP ON HIS WATCH THAT NIGHT, Hey, T WAS JUST TELLING SAR IT WAS NO CAKE WALK - ALRIGHT? THAT'S ALL. AS FAR AS I’M CONCERNED, THE DEAD CAN STAY BURIED. I GOT No BEEF WITH B08, WATE TO INTERRUPT, GUYS, BUT THE OGRE |S STANDING MOTIONLESS AS IF HE'S SIZING YOU UP. THEN HE SCOWLS AT YOU AND STAMPS HIS FEET AS IF GREATLY ANNOYED, "DIS 1S RYNGAR’S LAKE! DIS 18 RYNGAR'S ROAD!” HE SHAKES A Cs GNARLED, HAIRY “IDO KNUCKLED FIST Ei q ‘AT You, MIGHTY COCKY FOR A FLAT-FOOTER ISN'T HEP T GOT NEWS FOR HIM - I AIN'T PAYIN’ SQUAT! IS THAT A THREAT? THAT SOUNDED LIKE A THREAT. |S HE THREATENING MEP HE SAYS YOU CAN PAY IN GOLD OR PAY IN FLESHY WHAT'S IT GOING TO BEP WAIT GUYS, PERHAPS WE CAN NEGOTIATE WITH HIM. MY CHARACTER KNOWS A FEW OF THE WIGH-OGRE DIALECTS. IT’S A VERY DIFFICULT TOUNGE TO LEARN - MAYBE HE’LL BE IMPRESSED WITH MY... GIVE IT UP, SARA, DIDN'T YOU HEAR WHAT HE SAIDP THe DUDE’S A FLAT-FOOTER! THE ONLY THING THAT IMPRESGES THEM IS THE BUSINESS END OF A SWORD/GUYS, PLEASE? THESE CREATURES AVERAGE SOMETHING LIKE 150 HITPOINTS - RIGHT? WHAT COULO IT HURT TRYING TO NEGOTIATE? AT THE VERY LEAST, IT MAY BUY US SOME TIME OR DISTRACT HM LONG ENOUGH TO GAIN THE ADVANTAGE. WHAT DO YOU SAY? MAJOR PSYCHOSIS HERES IT LOOK SARA, YOU WEREN'T GAMING WITH US WHEN WE AUXED IT UP WITH BACK IN THE BAG - IF YOU KI YEAH! THEY DECAPIATED MAKING 77H LEVEL! FRANZ DEVEE AND PUT HIS HEAD ON A SPIT/ LUST WANT TO Et LOOK GUYS, MAYBE SARA IS RIGHT. WEbbiwOKAY, I GUESS WE CAN SEE WHAT HAPPENS. WHAT’S THE HARM IN LETTING HER TRY? IF GO AHEAD, SARA. KNOCK YOURGELF OUT! ‘SHE FAILS THEN WE WASTE HIS ASS. A WEE BIT LATER... SORRY SARA, THE OGRE STUBBORNLY REFUSES 10 YIELD. HE /NB/STS THAT YOU PAY THE TOLL FOR USING HIS ROAD. HE WANTS ONE OF YOUR HORSES AS PAYMENT. UPON PAYMENT YOU WILL BE FREE TO CONTINUE ON YOUR WAY UNMOLESTED AND AFFORDED HIS PROTECTION, FIGURE IT OUT, SHERLOCK! HE WANTS: tone ie STO wake TTY MEAT SNACK Cut 2 T OF IT, NO WAY IN MELE I’M GIVEN eee UP CLOVER FAX TO THIS CREEP. ‘THE HELL OES HE WANT A KNUCKLES WAS ON WATCH THE NIGHT IT HAPPENED, HE NEVER FORGAVE HIMSELF FOR FRANZ DEVEE’S DEATH, I HAD TO ROLL ON THE CHRONIC NIGHTMARE TABLES FOR SIX WEEKS/ WE'RE TALKING CURE-ALL SPELL TO FINALLY GET ALL MY MARBLES ‘THESE GUYS A FEW YEARS BACK, THAT WAS A CRYING _ ce POURER'S FM, LOOK, 1 DON’T WANT TO INVITE THE GUY TO HAVE DINNER WITH US = AVOID SOME UNNECESSARY COMBAT. THANKS, GUIYS/ I REALLY BUT 1/M WARNING YOU, IF HE PrRECU GETS ALL MOUITHY OR hie: ANYTHING = T’M COMING IN ‘SWINGING, YOU GOT THAT? HMMERRFFF/ TALKIN’ WITH A FLAT-FOOTER. IF TWAT DON’T BEAT ALL. TOOK AN 87H LEVEL NOW WHAT I MEAN, E IF WE CAN WELL, YOU GAVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT SARA. NO ONE CAN FAULT YOU FOR TRYING, NOW HOW ‘BOUT We LAY WASTE TO THIS JOKER?YET, B.Ay T OFFER A WAGER TO THE CAN ANSWER MY RIDDLE THEN WE WILL GIVE HIM ‘ALL FOUR OF OUR HORSES AND LEAVE THE AREA PRONTO. T ANSWER THE RIDDLE - WE GET TO PASS BY WITHOUT PAYING HIS TOLL OR ENGAGING IN COMBAT. THE OGRE ACCEPTS THE WAGER BUT WITH ONE SMALL TWIST. YOU MUST ANSWER A/S RIDDLE, IF YOU FAIL TO GIVE HIM THE PROPER ANSWER THEN HE GETS ALL YOUR HORSES. IF YOU CORRECTLY ANSWER HIM THEN YOU GIVE HIM ONLY ONE HORSE. rfte OGRE SEEMS REALLY ‘ INTERESTED IN YOUR PROPOSAL. WHAT THE HELL DOES HE THINK “A WIDDLE? You WONS TO Beaune Rone THIS |S? LET'S MAKE A DEAL? REALLY AREN'T THAT BRIGHT, THIS BLOWSY I SAY WE CARVE HIM UP LIKE A THANKSGIVING TURKEY/ OKAY, B.A, HERE'S THE DEAL. WHOA, HOLD ON GUYS, THIS COULD WORK IN OUR FAVOR. ALL WE HAVE TO T’M GUESSING THAT'S A 0 |S SWEETEN THE POT AND WE CAN HAVE THIS GLI EATING OUT OF OUR MATTOCK OF OGRE KIND HANDS, HE SEEMS TO HAVE A THING FOR HORSE MEAT. HMMMMMMa. HE'S HOLDING THERE. WHICH MEANS IT'S A 46, POSBIBLY A 46 WEAPON TO YOU AND ME, ‘WHAT ARE YOU UH OH, HES ON TO SOMETHING, T CAN \ DRIVING AT Ppenl HEAR THE GEARS SPINNING FROM HERE, T BELIEVE THE BOOK PRICE FOR THAT LITTLE BEALITY IS SOMETHING LIKE $,000 GOLD PIECES NOT TO MENTION THE E..5, ‘SO WAGER ME THIS - WE ANSWER THIS DUDE’S RIDDLE WE WALK WITH THE MATTOCK AND OUR HORSES. IF WE FAIL HE GETS THE FOUR HORSES AND IN ADDITION TO THAT ~ WE BRING HIM BACK TEW MORE HORSES WITHIN A WEEK'S TIME. BRIAN, YER A FRICKIN’ GENUS/’ = BLT WHAT F WE CAN'T ANSWER — SN L THOUGHT Z WAS, AND AFTER WE TAKE HIS MATTOCK His RIODLEP WHAT THEN? 1’ WIM THE OGRE. HE'LL 86 DEFENSELESS SO WE TELLIN’ YA, THERE’S NO WAY'I’M WASTE HIM ANYIAY, HOO-HOO! GIN’ UP CLOVER FAX, | you set em up anor THIS IS TOO SWEET. CLOSE THE DEALS, SARA.THE OGRE THINKS FOR A MOMENT AND THEN NODS HIS HEAD AND AGREES TO BRIAN’S OKAY, LOOKS LIKE WE WAGER. HOWEVER, ONLY ONE OF YOU CAN ATTEMPT TO ANSWER THE RIDOLE. AND YOU HAVE A WAGER THEN. MUST DO IT WITHOUT ANYONE ELSE‘S HELP. SO SEND FORTH YOUR BEST RIDDLER. OUTSTANDING! T WANT TO COMMEND YOU GUYS FOR NOT RESORTING TO HACKING YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS. YEAH, 100 BAD WE GUYS, PLEASE, HE ASKED FOR T DUNNO ABOUT Te OWN MAGLEY ‘OUR BEST RIDDLER DION’T | THIS, WE STAND TO HEP I GUESS THAT WOULD TOWN * AND FORCED B.A 4 4066 A LOT We TTo'Bexse Ir RON THE 86 ME! DON'T SWEAT IT - OH.UHL.’LL BE RIGHT CAN'T PULL TH MAP. ITS ONLY A HALF 1 GOT IT UNDER CONTROL BACK, I LEFT SOME OF OFF. I'S FIFTY MILES 70 THE MY CAMPAIGN NOTES IN ‘MY BEDROOM, DAY'S MARCH FROM HERE. MY GUESS IS THAT HE'S FRANTICALLY GOING THROUGH HIS WACKMASTER TOME OF RIDDLES THIS ISN'T GOOD, HE'S UP HOPING TO FIND ONE WHICH WILL STUAMP ME, TO SOMETHING, SINCE YOU GOT THAT RIGHT. HE COULON'T NOT LIKELY = 1 MEMORIZED ALL 379 RIDDLES AND WHEN DOES B.A. FORGET GET OUT THE ROOM FAST ENOUGH, THE CORRESPONDING ANSWERS, HIS CAMPAIGN NOTES? WHAT THE HELL'S HIS ANGLEP Ay : oo 15 OR 2ND 71 7a a THANK YOU FOR LITILIZING THE HACKMASTER SUPPORT LINE, SIR. MY NAME IS TULEY. HOW CAN T HELP YOUP C'MON, PICK UP ALREADY. PICK UIP! 1/M A CARDHOLDER FOR THE MACKMASTER EXTENDED SERVICES PROGRAM, I NEED A CLASS IV RIDDLE - ASAPL T/L NEED YOUR MEMBER NUMBER, SIR. AND HOW WILL YOU BE PAYING FOR THIS? HELLOP IS THIS ILL BE GOING (ON MY MOM’S Issue #35: Death Awaits"COAL-LATERAL NOWn..WHERE WERE WEP OH YES, THE OGRE WAS BY JOLLY R. BLACKBURN BRING IT ONS 1'M AS READY AS ILL EVER BE. JUST HOPE THIS GUY DOESN'T DECIDE TO ABOUT TO TELL BRIAN HIS RIDDLE. YOU READY B/G Mane HIGH TAIL IT WHEN 1 SOLVE HIS LITLE-RIDOLE AND RENEGE ON OUR WAGER. MAN, THIS 1S REALLY INTENSE, T HOPE BRIAN KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING. WAGER, YOU'LL HAVE ONE GAME TURN TO COME UP WITH THE CORRECT ANSWER, BRIAN, ‘ALSO, THE OGRE WILL BE STATING THE RIDDLE ‘ONLY ONCE - SO BE SURE TO TAKE GOOD NOTES. THERE WILL BE WO REPEATING, OKAY, HERE GOES. THE OGRE SMILES MENACINGLY AND THEN BEGINS 10 SPEAK, “IAM STRONGER THAN CHAINS OF IRON, NO POWER CAN BREAK ME, NO TEMPEST CAN TOPPLE ME, I CAN ENDURE WARS, PLAGUE, AND EVEN FAMINE WITHOUT BEING DIMINISHED. TAM CHERISHED BY BOTH KING AND PAUPER THOUGH BOTH ‘ARE FREELY ENDOWED WITH MY GRACES. WHAT AM 1? * NOT HARDLY WORTH YOUR TIME, HUH, BRIAN? T BET YOU HAD THE ANSWER BEFORE HE EVEN FINISHED TALKING. WITH THAT THE OGRELEANS HEAVILY (ON THE HANDLE OF HIS MAFTOCK ‘AND WAITS FOR HIS ANSWER, C'MON BRIAN/ RUIN THIS DUDE’S- DAY. SOLVE THE RIDDLESSECONDS LATER... UH OW! LOOKS LIKE. THE FAT MAGE CHOKED. 1 DON'T THINK HE HAS THE ANSWER. NOW WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DOP T CAN'T BELIEVE IT. T THINK T ACTUALLY STUMPED HIM, FINALLY! SHEESH! HAVE A LITTLE FAITH IN THE GUY. LIKE HE SAID, HE HAD TO UISE THE RESTROOM, HE'S UST BUILDING UP THE SUSPENSE - THAT'S ALL. T DUNNO, DAVE. HE DID HAVE TWAT QUEASY 400K ON HIS CH DEAR’ T'M SORRY, SIR. A FLAG HAS BEEN PLACED ON THAT RIDDLE. "PLAYER NON-DISCLOSURE". LOOKS LIKE YOUR GM PAID THE EXTRA TEN DOLLARS TO HAVE THE SOLUTION SAFEGUARDED. THAT'S RIGHT. I WANT THE ANSWER TO A CLASS IV RIDDLE. TRY SEARCHING THE KEYWORDS; CHAINS OF IRON, TEMPEST AND FREELY ENDOWED. AN HURRY! FIRK DING BLAST! CLICKIL! /M BRINGING IT UP NOW, SIR. LET'S SEE... ACG en BRIAN? THE OGRE IS QUIT STALLING, BRIAN. IF YOU DON’T KNOW THE ANSWER YOU DON'T KNOW THE WAITING. 00 YOU HAVE ANSWER B/G DEAL/ WE JUST HACK OUR WAY OUT OF THIS LIKE WE ALWAYS 00, ‘THE ANSWER OR NOT? BRIANP ARE YOU OKAY?I GUESS B.A, COUGHED UP ‘THE TEN BUCKS FOR PLAYER NON-DISCLOSURE, HLH? FIREBALL COMING ONLINE! 1 KICK CLOVER FAX'IN THE RIBS WITH MY +4 SPURS OF SPEED AND DRAW MY TUM FIRNG A BOLT —- HACKMASTER +12// 1'M MAKING AN /MPALEMENT CHARGE ON HIS ASS. OF MULTIPLE WOUNDS &T HIM’ \ BRIAN YOUR F/REBALL BEGINS TO HuRL TOWARD THE OGRE THEN SUDDENLY FREEZES Wi MOAEN A CLASH OF YLLIANT WHITE LIGHT, WHICH TENPOPARLY OL NOS THE ENTIRE PARTY, THE FIREBALL VANISHES. AS YOUR SIGHT SLOWLY STARTS TO COME BACK, YOU ARE SHOCKED 10 FIND THAT THE GAWD LUVIA IS STANDING BEFORE YOU Hib 1S ACCOMPANY BY WIS GLARDAN AGENTS, THE THIN IS, MISHAP AND CIRCUIMSTANC! DAVE your HORSE, LUVIA?P? HE'S INTERVENING PP Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine * September, 1999. ————____— I"PATRON GAWD OF ENDANGERED WHAT KIND OF SCAM ARE YOU TRYING TO PULLP HUHP SPECIES" \S BLT ONE OF MANY TITLES EVERYONE KNOWS LUIVIA DOESN'T HAVE THE AUTHORITY ‘THAT LLVIA CARRIES, TM AFRAID IN ‘TO INTERVENE INTO THE AFFAIRS OF MORTALS. THIS SITUATION, LUIVIA INDEED HAS INTERVENTION RIGHTS. AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE BROUGHT BACK-UP. LUVIA EXPLAINS THAT WE'RE SCREWED// ‘THE FLAT-FOOTED GIG DEAL! HE STILL ISN'T ALLOWED TO OGRE |S THe LAST OF INTERFERE, I ORDER HIM TO STAND ASIDE NO WAY IN HELL THAT LAME- HIS KIND! AS SUCH ‘OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES, ‘ASS TITLE WAS INTRODUCED HE HAS BEEN GRANTED WHEN GARY JACKSON WAS THE GAWD'S ON THAT GREEN PEACE KICK, UH GUYS, ACTUALLY. YEAH, HE WAS TRYING TO IMPRESS THAT LINGERIE ‘MODEL HE WAS DATING BRIAN’S RIGHT. AND IT'S OFFICIAL. LUVIA IS HERE TO MAKE SURE YOU HONOR YOUR WAGER WITH ‘THE OGRE. HE ORDERS YOU TO IMMEDIATELY HAND OVER YOUR HORSES. AND LET'S NOT FORGET YOU PROMISED TO DELIVER TEN MORE HORSES WITHIN A WEEK'S TIME. LUVIA INFORMS YOU THAT ‘ONE OF YOU WILL BE HELD AS COLLATERAL UNTIL THE REST OF YOU RETURN WITH THE HORSES. HE MAKES IT CLEAR THERE WILL BE NO DISCUSSION ON THIS. IT SHALL BE AS HE HAS SPOKEN, GONE MINUTE, YEAH, WOULON’T ALL THAT 6000 THINKING, BOB, coat so umeane War encase DEVOTION AND WORSHIP KNUCKLES YAS CHAMPIONED PATRON GAWD IS LUVid. DOESN'T THAT TRANSLATE INTO PERKS! OF SOME KIND? THE MESSAGE OF AUVIA FOR YEARS. LUV SCRATCHES HIS HEAD AND LOOKS A BiT CONFUSED. "I’M SORRY. WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUR NAME WASP KNUCKLES? NOPE, SORRY. NEVER HEARD OF YOU, YOU MAVE BEEN CBSERVING ALL MY HOLY DAYS, PAYING TITHE AND ADHERING TO ‘THE CODE OF CONDUCT PRESCRIBED FOR ALL FOLLOWERS OF MY FAITH HAVEN’T YOU? OKAY 50 LUIVIA WANTS TO KNOW WHO...UHER. BOBP oupep? 15 THERE A PROBLEM? WHAT’CHA DOIN’? WHATTA YA THINK'T'M DOING? T SCRATCHING THAT AW DUDE, He BASTARD OFF MY CHARACTER |DUNKED SHEET, IF YOUR PATRON GAWD WHATEVER! — YOU THAT was WON'T STAND IN YOUR CORNER BRUTAL, ~ WHAT GOOD IS He? 22. ST Issue 435; Death Awaits™FINE! THAT'S JUST GREAT, LUVIA WAS JUST ABOUT TO ASK WHICH ‘ONE OF YOU WOULD BE STAYING BEHIND AS A MARKER BUT IT LOOKS LIKE BOB HAS JUST VOLUNTEERED. WITH A WAVE OF HIS HAND AND A CRACK OF THLNDER, A STREAK OF SWIRLING CRIMSON BALL ENERGY Kees ee ‘SURROUNDS BOB... ER, KNUCKLES. THERE'S A BIT OF STATIC HISS AN? ge er as ‘A DISTURBING CRACKLING SOUND AND THEN THE ENERGY DISSIPATES REVEALING THAT BOB HAS BEEN TURNED INTO A SMALL LUMP OF COAL, WELL, DEPENDING IF THERE ARE ANY INDUSTRIAL HUMP WHAT THE HELL IS HMMMMMM. HAT TYPE OF eee eeeee HE PICKING ON ME FORP COAL WOULD THAT BE, B.A.? eet BITUMINOUS OR ANTHRACITE? OH MAN, HE 10 AN HOUR GLASS APPEARS OVER THE LUMP OF COAL AS IF HANGING ON AN INVISIBLE THREAD. L4/VIA TURNS IT OVER AND YOU CAN SEE THE SAND BEGINS TO POUR. "THE SAND WILL STOP POURING EXACTLY SEVEN DAYS FROM THIS HOUR” PROCLAIMS THE GAWD. "IF YOU HAVE MOT DELIVERED TEN HORSES BY THAT TME - DEATH AWAITS YOUR FRIEND.” LUMIA SWEEPS HIS HAND AND A SMALL BRICK FORGE FILLED WITH FLAMES APPEARS TO HIS LEFT. “IF YOU FA/t TO ‘HONOR YOUR WAGER, YOUR FRIEND SHALL BE CAST INTO THE FORGE AND HIS SOW WILL 82 CONSUMED!” rp DON'T WORRY BOB, IT SHOULD BE YOu GOTT0 Be KiooING// gust MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT 4 CiMeH TO FIND TEN HORSES BECAUSE WE CHOSE TO TALK WITH j AND BRING THEM BACK. THIS GUY INSTEAD OF FIGHTING IT OUT T’M FACING ETERNAL DEATH? A WEE BIT LATER... WE'D BETTER HIT THE ROAD. ‘THE GUICKER WE ROUND UP TIM SORRY BOB. AS A LUMP OF COAL a omenie YOU HAVE A MOVEMENT FACTOR OF ene eee ZERO. 2" APRAID You can't use your NO ALLTHIS TWE We THOUGHT LUViA QUICKER WE GET BACK, “BLIP AWAY INTO SHADOWS" SKILL. ea. FOR SOME BEIND DUDE, Hunt? OKAY BY ME, MAN, THAT WAS COAL-MEARTED WHAT HE 910 TO BOB, T TOLD YOU GUYS WE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THAT ‘OGRE -SNIFF- OUT. IT’S, CALLED WACKMASTER NOT THIS BLOWS! -SoB- \ ights of the Dinner Table Magazine” KnA HORSEISAHORSE by DLL BLACL AS YOU APPROACH BADGER FALLS YOU ARE VERY SURPRISED TO SEE THAT DOZENS OF CENTALIRS ARE ROAMING ABOUT THE STREETS, THE TOWN SEEMS REALLY DIFFERENT. IN FACT..LUH.ER.... BOBP WILL YOU PLEASE TURN YOUR CHAIR AROUND AND SIT IN IT THE WAY YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO. I'VE TOLD YOU TWICE ABOUT IT. MY MOM PUT ME ON NOTICE - IF YOU GUYS BREAK ONE MORE CHAIR - MO MORE GANING IN THE HOUSE. DON’T WORRY DUDE. ONE: " TONET HELM. IM BORED TO TEARS KNOW BADGER cum WEE it THs TAB HAVE YD ONY OVER HERE, 1 CAME FORA LITLE FALLS HAS HORSES, CENTAURS: HACK-N-SLASH TONIGHT, NOT TO Hien eae ere i} PLAY SOME FRICKIN’ LUMP OF COAL! / WHO CARES? WE NEED TO HURRY, —— WEE ALREADY WASTED THREE DAYS, 08'S TIME |S RUNNING SHORT. DON'T THINK THAT LuVIA-DUDE WAS BLUFFING. ea HANGING OVER A SET OF STABLE DOORS THAT READS "HORSES BOUGHT, SOLD AND TRADED!” AGAIN WITH THE CENTAURS, 1 WONDER WHAT THE HELL THEY'RE DOING IN TOWN? CENTAURS INTERACTING WITH HUMANS? THIS IS 700 STRANGE, SOMETHING MUST 1/M GOING TO TRY AND LISTEN IN ON THEIR CONVERSATION, 90 T PICK UP ANY USEFUL INFOP STANDING our HAVE HAPPENED. BUT WHAT? FRONT ARE TWO ee ie ONCE AGAIN, PLL T HATE To INTERRUPT LOOK LIKE THEY'RE HAVING AN INTENSE CONVERSATION WITH AN OLD MAN. REMIND YOU BOB THAT THEM BUT T'LL ASK YOU AREN'T WITH THE THE OLD MAN IF HE GROUP. YOU CAN'T HAS ANY HORSES, "0 I HAVE ANY HORSESP>* THE OLD MAN LAUGHS AT YOUR QUESTION AS DO THE TWO CENTAURS, He WIPES THE TEARS OF LAUGHTER FROM HIS EYES AND PATS YOU ON THE SHOULDER, "THANKS MISTER’ THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME NOT TO LOSE My SENSE OF HUMOR, I HAVEN'T LALIGHED IN MONTHS.” , SINCE THE OLD MAN SEEMS 60 1 PUSH PAST HIM AND ENTER THE STABLES. I’m GREAT, TALKIN’ Is GOING 10 CALL DIBS ON THE BIGGEST DAMN — FRIENDLY, 7 ATTEMPT TO ENGAGE HM dar’ Gor Us IN AND THE CENTAURS IN CONVERSATION, HORSE 6 HAS, MAYBE THAT OGRE WILL SWAP THIS FX! LEWACE coor mirror linc ‘MAYBE T CAN LEARN SOMETHING. 1 BET HE WOULON’T BE 80 QUICK TO LAUGH IF SS faMekees, oe WAS STANDING ‘THERE,SORRY PAVE. AS YOU STROLL THROUGH THE STABLE YOU DISCOVER ALL OF THE STALLS ARE EMPTY. THERE'S NOT A SINGLE HORSE ON THE PREMISES. SARA, YOU LEARN FROM THE OLD MAN THAT He AND THE CENTAURS WERE DISCUSSING HOW THE FIELD WORK SHOULD BE PRIORITIZED DURING THE UPCOMNG HARVEST. HOLY MOLY/ NO HORSES? THIS Is $0000 DISCUSSING FIELD WORKP TWILIGHT ZONE. WHAT GIVES? 4 TOWNS © BUT..BUT THEY'RE MUNTERS ‘AND | WEE VISITED AND NOT HORSE ONE? WELL DON’T GIVE UP NOW! IF YOU WALK ALL NIGHT YOU CAN MAKE —— HE SEEMS VERY SURPRISED THAT YOU DON'T KNOW, HE ALMOST STARTS TO LAUGH AGAIN BUT THEN HE SENSES ‘THE SINCERITY OF YOUR QUESTION. "YOU MEAN YOU! HAVEN'T HEARD? WHY...WHY, THE PLAGUE OF THE BOUND SPECTRE WIPED THEM ALL OUT LAST SUMMER.” DOWN THAT TEMPLE? * TEMPLE, SOMEHOW IT ESCAPED, WITHIN $00 MILESPP// NO HORSES? ?!/ BUT THAT MEANS... THAT'S RIGHT MY LITTLE ARSONIST-DWARVEN FRIEND! NO HORSES! THAT a MEANS YOU CAN'T FULFILL THE TERMS OF THE WAGER. « — HO DIDN'T YOU Gus SAY PMG CEOS SOMETHING ABOUT BURNING : TOWN HAD IMPRISONED IN THEIR FOL THEM MILES OF THIS STUPID WAGER AT ALL. THIS IS ABOUT ME PUTTING THE THAT'S RIGHT. ROCKS AS FAR AS He FOUND A LOOPHOLE GAWOS GO. MY NEXT N bi rplia l y CHARACTER IS DEFINITELY f GUESS YOU'LL JUST si teal hr a HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT. | THE CENTAURS ARE 1 ASK THE OLD MAN WHAT THE DEAL I WITH eS: THE HORSE SITUATION. THAT'S RIGHT YOU MORONSS YOUR PAST WAS FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH YOu. BY TORCHING THE TEMPLE YOU FREED THE SPECTRE AND SET HIM LOOSE UPON THE LAND TO SPREAD HIS VILE DISEASE. WHICH, INCIDENTALLY, ONLY AFFECTS BEASTS OF BURDEN. SWE _ every yorse, VALLEY WAS QOOCCHHH, NOW, I GET IT. THIS ISN’T ABOUT SOME TORCH 10 L4VIA'S TEMPLE, PRETTY SNEAKY FOR SOME GAWD WHO'S SUPPOSED 10 BE LAWFLIL-ASS ~GOOD/ FRICKIN’ A/ THIS GuY OFF TLL DEAL WITH‘THE OLD MAN EXPLAINS THAT WHEN THE HORSES BEGAN DYING OUT THE CENTAURS OF THE PELAR MOUNTAINS GATHERED TOGETHER AND TOOK A VOTE, THEY DECIDED TO HELP THE FARMERS OF BADGER FALLS CULTNATE THEIR FIELDS AND GATHER UP THE HARVEST. CENTAURS ARE MAKING A DEAL, T BET THEY'RE MAKING OUTT LIKE BANDITS. DAMN! 100 BAD WE DIDN'T GET IN ON THE GROUND FLOOR. 1/0 LOVE A PIECE OF THAT ACTION. WELL bili HORSES PUSHING \ UP DAISIES IN THESE PARTS, IT LOOKS: YEAH, WEI LIKE BOB 1S TOAST! LITERALLY? ue WP KUDOS, B.A. ON COMING UP WITH SUCH ‘A WONDERFUL PLOT DEVICE. BUT IDION'T THINK CENTAURG WERE THAT INTERESTED IN THE WELFARE OF HUMANS, INMTALLY, THEY WEREN'T. BUT, THEY BECAME AFRAID WIE-SPREAD FAMINE WOULD CAUSE HUMANS TO ENCROACH UPON THEIR HUNTING GROUN?S. JUMPIN’ BAJEEMERS!? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MEP ALMOST THREW IN THE TOWEL AND THE SOLUTION WAS STARING US. RIGHT IN THE FACE. BOBBY-BOY, THE FATES HAVE NOT FORSAKEN YOU. SOLUTION??IT \ DON'T LEAVE ME, Ue? MSs HANGIN’, DUDE, monet? HAVE 10 GE DAVE ES RN ‘CREDIT FOR JOGGIN’ i VE SAID IT ONCE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN - YOU'RE A HOODY HOO! AND, Dube, cus 986 ON TELLN, Ts STORY AT VE BRIAN YOU OA MAN? lex BRAGGIN" RIGHTS NIGHT AT WEIRD PETE'S! 1 COULD KISS YOU FACE LUVIA!! nee ro AWH, HELL. 1 SHOULO’VE SEEN IT RIGHT OFF, I MUST BE SLIPPING. (OH NO, BRIAN. YOU STILL GOT THE TOUCH, Issue #35: Death Awaits”HAL HAL REAL CLEVER BUT YOU'RE FORGETTING SOMETHING. HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO HAUL FIVE TONS OF DEAD HORSES OVER THREE OVERLAND HEXES IN THE FOUR DAYS YOU HAVE REMAINING? AND WITHOUT ANY BEASTS (OF BURDEN TO HELP YOUP HLH, WISE GUYS? LOOKS LIKE THE LAUGH IS ON YOU! THERE /S A WAY/ WE JUST HIRE A GAGGLE OF THESE CENTAURS AND HITCH THEM UP TO & FEW WiAGONS, THEN WE RIDE BACK TO RETRIEVE KNUCKLES IN STYLE. THANK GAWD YOU'RE ON OUR SIDE, \ BIG Gy, FOR A SECOND THERE SHY'A-RIGHT! THOUGHT BA, HAD CUTWITTED Us, _, SHPACRCHT EL RAVAGER CAN DAMN! T DIDN'T THINK LIFT 500 LBS CLEAN (OF THAT, THERE'S. OVER HIS HEAD// GOTTA BE A WAY. MAYBE WE CAN TAKE SOME EX7RA DEAD HORSES WITH US. I'D STILL LIKE TO TRY AND SWAP ‘EM FOR CLOVER FAX, Eee MINUTES LATER, (OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD/ THE CENTAURS AGREE TO ONE HUNDRED GOLD APIECE FoR THE JOB, BUT THEY DEMAND HALF PAYMENT UP FRONT. THEY'RE NOT TOO KEEN ON PULLING WAGONS, SO THEY DEMAND YOU HIRE FOUR EXTRA CENTAUIRS SO THEY CAN ROTATE THE WORK. . HEY, B.A 1/M GONNA PAY RUDY AN EXTRA FIFTY IN GOLD TO LET ME TKNEW THEY’D CAVE IN. LET'S GET SAD DLEHIM UP AND RIDE HIM. T ALREADY BOUGHT DRINKS FOR HIM THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD. 1’D LIKE -UFE 10 GET BACK IN ACTION AND DO A AT THE TAVERN AND STUFF SO HE SHOULD BE DOWN WITH THAT. LITTLE WACKIN’ BEFORE THE AL RioHr ENTIRE EVENING |S SHOT TO HELL. Fis \ GET TO THAT GRAVEL PIT 7 AND LOAD UP ‘THOSE DEAD HORSES, Pe thal sade RUDY FIRES ONE LAST ARROW AT THE FLEEING HIGHWAYMEN. HE STRIKES ONE OF THEM SQUARE IN THE BACK CAUSING HIM TO FALL, CRASHING TO THE GROLIND ON HIS FACE. RUDY ORDERS TWO CENTAURS 70 RIDE FORTH AND RETRIEVE ANY WEAPONS AND VALUABLES ON THE WOUNDED AND DEAD. THAT LITTLE AMBUSH PUSHED US BEHIND WEY, THAT RUDY- —_YOU GOT THAT RIGHT. f DIDN'T SCHEDULE, WE'VE ONLY GOT 8 HOURS TO GET DUDE HAS A EVEN HAVE TO DRAW MY SWORD, — THESE HORSES TO LUVIA BEFORE OUR TIME IS UP. GOOD aia He MADE SHORT WORK OF THOSE GOONS, Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine” * September, 1999. 17USL LUVIAYELDS TO YOU, EVEN THOUGH IT WAS IN THE SPIRIT OF YOUR WAGER WITH THE OGRE THAT YOU WOLD DELIVER LIVE HORSES, HE CONVINCES THE OGRE TO ACCEPT THE DEAD ONES YOU'VE ARRIVED WITH, -SIGH- WITH A WAVE OF HIS HAND THE LUMP OF COAL |S TRANSFORMED INTO KNUCKLES ~ APPARENTLY UNSCATHED BY HIS ORDEAL, THEN IN A FLASH OF BRILLIANT LIGHT THE GAWD DISAPPEARS. HEY, B.A I WANT TO DOUBLE-CHECK. LUVIA WAS DEPARTED THE AREA - RIGHT? UNSCATHED MY ASS/ Wid GOOD THING HE FLED WHEN HE DID. VM TORQUED!! TWAS JUST ABOUT TO D0 SOME SOMETHING'S SERIOUS WHOPPING ON HIS BUTT/ GONNA DIE! THAT'S RIGHT. £UVIA HAS. VACATED THE AREA, UNLIKE YOU, HE HAS HONOR! HE MADE A DEAL AND HE’S STICKING TO IT. KEWL! I'M CASTING A GRASPING-DEATH SPELL ON THE OGRE. T/M SACRIFICING ONE EXPERIENCE LEVEL TO KICK IN THE SPELL'S AUTOMATIC KILL FEATURE, THERE'S NO SAVE, SCRATCH ONE FLAT-FOOTED OGRE! \ NOT LIKELY, ACCORDING TO THE GAWDS AND DEITIES MANUAL, LUVIA CAN ONLY BRIAN’ DUDE/ HAVE YOU GONE INTERVENE ONCE ON THE BEHALF OF ANY NUTS? YOU'RE GONG TO BRING ONE PLAYER, CREATURE OR NPC UNDER THAT LUVIA BACK DOWN ON OUR BUTTS, —_LAME-ASS 'SPECIES ERRADICATION’ CLAUSE, HAI LUVIA CAN'T TOUCH US/ HE BLEW IT/ BUT ..BUTnYOU SACRIFICED AN EXPERIENCE LEVEL!? THAT MEANS I LOSE ONE LEVEL BUT EARN ENOUGH B.P.S TO wp GAIN TWO LEVELS! NOT TO MENTION 1 LAY CLAIM TO THAT WHY? ?1! MATTOCK OF OGRE KIND!! |S THAT KEWL OR WHAT? YOU ASK WHY? ‘COS ACCORDING TO THE WACKLOPEDIA OF BEASTS KILLING OFF ween ao ANY MONSTER WHCH IS THE LAST OF ALL BOW BEFORE APpENED) RIGHT. ITS KIND KICKS UP ITS EXPERIENCE POINT THE GLORIOUS WERE. 1A SO W'S LIKE f SAI, VALUE BY A MAGNITUDE OF 100, BRIAN HIS, PROW To Have §— MT Ak WORKS (OUT AFTER THE POWER |S GREAT! r BEEN A PART OF IT. ae 18 Issue #35: Death Awaits”‘The second Imperial Survey takes us to the al-Malik worlds, from the decadent bazaars to the subtle courts, where even words. are weapons against the unwary. But worry not, for guests of these lords are treated as if they were royal scions of their hosts' own house. Visit these fiefs with one of the Emperor's own Questing Knights — a noble daughter of the al-Malik, the Most Gracious House under the Pancteator's gaze. Available in September. Also look for the second edition "Gamemasters Screen & Complete Pandemonium"aly He Ler Bae ea Cuca mac i ag GEG oe ILC utr Cae Ce Cun eC Reatard Otc eC ee Coc em BWA “aA MUTE POINT ‘STORY BY JOLLY R. BLACKBURN AND STEVE JOHANSSON — LIAR LT AIG TET SNES LOOKS LIKE A UNANIMOUS VOTE! THE ‘MOTION PASSES, NEWT WILL DON THE HUBCAP OF SHAME™ FOR AN UNSPECIFIED AMOUNT OF TIME, SADLY, THIS IS THE SECOND TIME, NEWT HAS BEEN HANDED DOWN THIS DISHONOR. SOMEBODY GET ON THE HORN TO STEV/L AND TELL HIM THAT JUSTICE HAS BEEN ADMINISTERED. MAYBE NOWHE’LL AGREE TO COME BACK TO. ‘THE TABLE, YOU GOT THAT LETTER OF APOLOGY READY FOR HIM, NEWT? SIR, T/L WEAR THIS: TOKEN OF HUMILIATION. MAYBE T DESERVE IT. BUT PLEASE DON'T ASK ME TO APOLOGIZE TO STEVIA. YOU ‘SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SAY, "SORRY" TO SOMEONE YOU'VE JUST DOLED OUT VENGEANCE TO. IT KINDA TAKES THE STING OUT OF IT. THERE, THE — DEEDIS DONE, " POOR STEVL. EVEN THOUGH THEY TWAT T ea, SON, | DROPPED ALL THE CHARGES AGAINST THE Nh REST OF US HE'S STILL IN WOT WATER. i “eS, SIR, | HEY, THE Kio BROUGHT IT ALL (ON HIMSELF. ALL HE HAD TO D0 WAS SIT TIGHT. I WAS GOING TO SPRING HIM ‘AS SOON AS THOSE NEW CATTLEPUINK DICE CAME IN. I GOT A FEELING THOSE LITTLE BABIES ARE GONG TO BLOW RIGHT OFF THE SHELF. ANYWAY, IT WAS DAMN STUPID FOR STEVIL TO TRY GOING OVER THAT FENCE, DIDN'T He SEE THE SIGNS WARNING ABOUT HIGH VOLTAGE?! AND REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU GUYS, NO RIBBING HM ABOUT THE DANCING THING! THE GUY'S PIN HAS BEEN PULLED - HE’S A FREAKIN’ GRENADE ABOUT TO GO OFF. 50 Lay OFF IM, T VISITED HIM IN THE BURN WARD LAST MONDAY, HE SAID HE JUST SNAPPED. APPARENTLY THAT DUDE IN HOLDING CELL FOUR MADE HIM DANCE FOR THIRTY-SIX HOWRS STRAIGHT, AWIH CMON SIR. T BROUGHT MY WALKMAN AND SPEAKERS, I WANTED TO PLAY "DANCING QUEEN” WIHEN HE CAME IN. ye HEY, YOU'RE AN AREN'T YOU GONG 10 weNiooo wows mar muBcapresl | fel gan t00> CALL Hh Pete? page Ate ; Pave ALL Tee eo OUTSIDE IN HIS we. ‘ALBUMS, ¢ CAR WAITING FoR 1 THe cuTcoMe oF —_¢ ~ THE VOTE 711 GO EX fo “ipa 7 i * See KODT#23: A Man Outstanding in His Fie [The Bll Hands make Newt wes he Hubap af Shane fall he bd pes generat by his los in the tam tune! how Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine" * September, 1999 2]OUT BACK OF PETE'S SHOP. HEY, MISTER MAPPY DISPOSITION-BOY! YOU'RE WANTED INSIDE, CAN YOU UNDO MY SEAT BELT? THESE BANDAGES KEEP GETTING IN THE WAY. (OH SURE. AND MAYBE YOU WANT ME TO WIPE YOUR NOSE AND PACK YOU ‘A SACK LUNCH WIFILE T'M AT IT. yOu Ber? seeP 1 TOLD YOu BLACK 'S HE WEARING ITP HAND JUSTICE WOULD STAND BEHIND JUST HELP ME WITH | \ YOU ON THIS THING. MY GAWD CAN SEAT \ BELT! ALL RIGHT, r > TSK, TSK WELL YOU'RE 4ARD HEAD? NOW YOUNE AND NO JOKES ABOUT THE sare, DANCING THING = RIGHT? C’MON ON GONE AND A FEW MINUTES LATER... FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, PETE. CAN YOU GO BREAK THOSE TWO UP? THEY'RE HOLDING UP HE'S COMING. SQUIRRELY FOUND OUT STEVIL’S DEFENSE- | sre eS LESS WITH HIS HANDS ALL BANDAGED UP LIKE THAT. HE eal TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THE SITUATION. ‘THE...ER.NEVER MIND. \ adgeene ‘SQUIRRELY WON'T NAAAAAAAAA! HE GOT WHAT HE WANTED. HE ‘TOOK STEVIL'S WALLET AND INHALER AND HURT HIM WILL HEP CRAWLED DOWN THE HEATING DUCT. T TRIED THAT ONCE AND He GRABBED MY GLASSES AND GAVE ME REVERSE-WEDGIE STEVIL DION’T CRAWL IN AFTER HIM 919 HE? \ / No, STEVIL'S TRYING TO FLUSH HIM _' OUT WITH THE FIRE DON'T WORRY STEEVO! T'LL LURE HIM OUT WITH SOME ‘MOON PIES TOMORROW AND GET YOUR STUFF BACK. NO, GORDO, I DON'T, I WANT YOU SHOULD KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHLIT AND NOT TALK TO ME, THINK YOU CAN DO THAT? \ YEAH? WELL THAT APE JUST MADE MY LIST! AND YOUIT0O. YOU PICKED THE | | | | HEEEEWYY/ WHY YOU SORE WRONG FRICKIN’ NIGHT TO MESS WITH ME. AT ME? TM THE ONLY OnE YEE BUT WHO VISITED YOU IN THE a | HOSPITAL AND ALL. SHEESH? Hey STEVI, YOU WANT T AWWW, C/MON, MITTEN PAWS! TAPIOCA SHOULD ROLL YER DICE ‘YOU SHOLILON'T CUTTA TALK 10 PUDDING FOR YOU TONIGHT? ‘YOUR FRIEND LIKE THAT. wate Ls WELL ir DONT LOOK LiKE YOu HAD 22. _ lssne #35: Death Awaits™OKAY, FOLKS. THE GAME |S HACKMASTER TONIGHT. A BRAND CLEAN SLATE. THAT MEANS NO GRUDGES OR HARD FEELINGS BETWEEN CHARACTERS, D0 WE UNZERSTAND EACH OTHER? AS FAR AS T'M CONCERNED THE SCORE |S EVEN NOW, I GOT NO PROBLEMS WITH STARTING FRESH, | NEW BEGINNING? NEW CAMPAIGN. NEW CHARACTERS. A FRESH DITTO ON THAT. TIM WITH YA, A/TRO. CAN WE JUST DISPENSE WITH THE LECTURE AND Ger ON WITH THE GAME? (OH YEAS A NEW HOPE. A NEW BEGINNING? T ASKED EVERYONE TO GO AHEAD AND ROLL LIP NEW CHARACTERS THIS WEEK TO SAVE TIME. $0, LET'S GO AHEAD AND QUICKLY REVIEW THEM. NEWT? WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD AND INTRODUCE YOURS. MY CHARACTER’ NAME IS WIND DRIFTER. HE'S WALF- ELF. HE USED TO 86 A HIGHLY REVERED SAILOR WHO PLIED THE TRADE WATERS OF THE SCOWNZDORN, BUT HE LET ALL THAT BEHIND WHEN HIS SHIP STRUCK A REEF AND WENT TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA WITH ALL HANDS, HE WAS THE SOLE SURVIVOR AND SET OUT TO... \ wer, GOOD CHARACTER, TO GOINTO HIS LINEAGE AND NEXT??? ‘SOCIAL STANDING... UH..MY CHARACTER’S NAME IS BLUESHINE GOSSAMER - BLUE FOR SHORT. SHE’S ORIGINALLY FROM DIDDLEWOOD AND SHE'S A. OH GOOD LORD! NOT AGAIN’ ANOTHER PIXIE-FAERIEP A FREAKIN’ FEMALE PIXIE- FAERIE? GORDO/ SON/ DON’T YOU THINK IT” TIME FOR A CHANGE OF PACE? pees THIS TIME INSTEAD OF A RUNNING A PIXIE-FAERIE MAGE, BUT SIR, WIND DRIFTER 'S VERY ORIGINAL, YOU SEE, HE TURNED HIS BACK ON THE SEA AND NOW HE WANDERS AROUND THE LAND LOOKING FOR A NEW CALLING. OF ‘COURSE THIS LEADS HIM TO. -SIGH- I WAS HOPING WITH A NEW CAMPAIGN AND ALL YOU GUYS WOULD HAVE SEEN Fit TO HAVE COME UP WITH SOME ORIGINAL CHARACTERS, SO FAR IT'S THE SAME OLD CRAP IN NEW PACKAGING, OKAY, STEVIL, LET’S HEAR ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER BLUESHINE |S ALSO A MASTER OF FAERIE KIND MARTIAL ARTS! AND SHE HAS A GINGER MOTH AS ‘AMOUNT. DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S ORIGINAL? HMMRRFFF/ SOUNDS MORE LIKE A BREAKFAST CEREAL MASCOT THAN A HIGH FANTASY RPG CHARACTER, T THINK YOU'LL LIKE AO” CHARACTER, NITRO. CHECK IT OUT. Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine” * September, 1999. 23While You're Standing tn Line At GenGon, We'll Be ~ At Home, Playing Games. Updated Weekly! Exclusive to the Web! Only $15 per Year! Pyramid is the gaming hobby’s hottest We cover card games, computer games, voice! We're your online sour. miniature systems and wargames. reviews, source material and ba Industry news is updated regularly, when- information for all your favorite games ever it happens. Check out the sample Magic, AD&D, Rifts, Battletech, GURPS, articles at our Web site ~ you don’t have to In Nomine, INWO, Shadowrun, Castle subscribe to take a peck! But here are some Falkenstein, Earthdawn and many more. of the things that only subscribers get: ‘Library privileges” in the online archive of back issues. * Access to Steve Jackson Games playtest material. Previews of online projects from SJ Games and other companies. *. A message area so you can talk to your fellow readers. * Weekly “live chat” sessions with our staff and guest speakers. The Best Deal in Gaming. Subscribe Today!MY CHARACTER IS A MUTE. HE NEVER SPEAKS, He's JUST ABOUT THE MOST MYSTERIOUS FIGURE YOU'RE EVER LIKELY TO MEET. HE WEARS ‘A BLACK VELVET ROBE WITH A DEEP HOOD WHICH HE KEEPS PULLED LOW OVER HIS FACE. ON HIS LEFT WRIST THE WORD "PAYBACK" IS TATTOOED IN THE MANNER OF THE GREZ SHADOW WARRIOR, LIKEWISE, ON HIS RIGHT WRIST APPEARS THE PHRASE, "UNBRIDLED WRATH" UA ER, WHAT'S: HIS NAME> HE DOESN'T HAVE ONE. I DON'T EXPECT HIM TO £/VE LONG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO GET ANY USE OUT OF HAVING A NAME, WELL THAT'S CERTANLY A N Snr TRUST ME, I'VE TOLD You WHAT ELSE SHOULD WE EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO NOW ABOUT HIM? idk ABUT Vi: THEN I'LL JUST CALL STEVIL, T SURE HOPE YOU'RE NOT PLANNING ON DOING WHAT I THINK YOU'RE PLANNING ON DOING, EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED AT THIS TABLE IN THE PAST IS WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE/ 1 WON'T TOLERATE ANY MORE GRUDGE-KILLINGS HEY, TLL JUST BE PLAYING MY CHARACTER THE WAY T ROLLED HIM. A MUTE PSYCHOPATH WHO DOESN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FRIEND AND VICTIM. JUST DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON HIM AND EVERYTHING WILL BE MUINKY DORY. DON’T THINK WIND DRIFTER WE ARE TALKING ABOUT LOOKS LIKE WE GOT A GAMES LIKES THE MUTE. YOUR CHARACTER- RIGHT? AFTER THE GAME... YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST LET ME FINISH READING THE INTRO TO THE ADVENTURE BEFORE INTERRUPTING AND YELLING, “LET ME INTRODUCE PLANNING TO WAIT UNTIL YOU TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!” BNO RUNNING NEWT Viton ntne AONENTURS BUT THROUGH WITH A PO/SONED DAGGER! ‘TWAT DAMNED ABBA SONG HEEEEEY, YOU SAID YOU ‘SEEMS FAIR, PUSHED ME OVER THE EDGE. ek aA / WERE MUTE?20 TT sstte #35: Death Atri”rember, 1999 Sepie er Table Magazine™ * ights of the Dinn KniKnights of the Dinner Table Magazine™ © September, 1999 ————____—_—____— 29Bs EM Digan tteKnights of the Dinner Table Magazine * September, 1999. ———______— 31DISKS OF WONDROUS POWER that were much better than you might think from looking at the box or reading the ads. This time around, let's discuss some games that just didn’t measure up to the hype and promise that ‘the good stuff” is supposed to have First, le’s mention an older game that should hit the discount racks any day novw, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri (optimistically abbreviated SMAC). Sid Meier isthe genius behind Civilization, an awesome game that led to Civilization II, with most of the improvements of the latter coming from Brian Reynolds, Civ II spent a long time on my hard drive, and with every crash, it was one of the few games that always seinstalled. SMAC was billed as “the new Gix” and while itis a worthy game, itis no Civ Il, going wrong in so many ways. Where Civ II had a strong “discover the world” feel to it with every game, SMAC, which takes place on an alien world, somehow manages to get the ‘ve done this all before” feeling, after only a few games Tes hard to explain why, but the fact that there are only two terrain types (fungus and non-fungus) might have something to do with it. SMAG has a new technology tree, but the technology is so arbi- trary that ies hard to'telate to, Building a Wonder OF The World is also obscure-which of "Cure for Cancer" (from Civ Il) and "Human Genome Project” (from SMAC) sounds like more of an achievement, and would really make people happy? Amazingly enough, they have the exact same effect, giving you an extra happy person (or “Talent”) in every city. This brings up another problem—the game is all too similar to Civ II. Veterans of the classic will spend their firse game realizing that “oh, Energy is ‘Money, and Probe Teams are Diplomass,” then they'll realize that there's less new about the game than first meets the eye, A bit more time changing the game and less time just changing the names would have been appreciated. The final disappointment? Even though Sid’s name is slathered across the front, a look at the credits reveals this game is Brian Reynold’ baby. Sid actually whored out his name for increased sales, and I can't help but be slightly offended. ‘SMAC is a good game, worthy of a half dozen plays, but when my hard drive ctashed, I saw no rea- son to put it back on. Despite all the hype, it was just another game. ‘Might and Magic VI was the most fun I've had with a computer RPG in years — the best game since Bard's Tale. Despite its huge size, 1 played it I ast time around, I told you about a few games Rick’s Rants By Rick Moscatello through twice, not something one usually does an RPG, Thus, I was plenty hyped to play and Magic VII, They blew it Thete are only minor improvements to the engine and game rules, and this game would be better off labeled as Might and Magic 6.1 than giving ic a whole new number. Yes, I would have bought it as an expansion (which is what it really is), and then L wouldn't have been disappointed when | found ouc it wasn’t a new game at all. I guess Sword of Xen (an expansion for ME-MY) didn't sell well, so they didn’e want to hurt sales by calling M&M VII an “expansion pack.” But, they should call a spade a spade. Now I know that 3D0 will deceive me just to increase sales, and I'm not happy about this knowledge, What few changes they made to the game add more complexity than fun, which is something that 3DO has never done (before now) with their games. In M&MVI, to cast a really cool spell (like one that teleports you from the dungeon 10 4 town), you need to get a mage with a high relevane skill, get him trained in thar skill, get the gold to buy the spell, and then find the shop that sells the spell, Does this sound like it needs to be made more difficult? ‘Admittedly, once you've played the game through, you can get this all done in two months or so of game time, but M&MVII (which has identicad spells) additionally requires you to go on a pretty major quest before you can get the training. By the time you've scoured the entire continent to finish the quest, the game is mostly over, since the game is MUCH smaller than its predecessor. They took something challenging, and made it annoying, and that’s just not kewl. If they didn't want you to use the big spells, they could have just taken them out, and actually ADDED some new spells co the game. The main, heck, only, innovation in the game is that there are several more character classes, and you. can do a bit more specialization, Unfortunately, every class has a specialty, and the parry maximum size is still 4, [es all too easy to put together a party that lacks either the ability to disarm a trap, or wear plate mail, of wield a sword, or cast some very use- ful spells, or repair armor, or identify items, or what- ever. Oh well, it's still worth playing once, barely, but not ewice Another game that didn't fulfill its potential was Microprose’s Birth of the Federation. The basic idea was to take the wonderful engine of Master of Orion, and fill ic with all the lawful goodness of the Star Trek universe. How could something like this Issue #35: Death Awaits™go wrong? Let's count the ways: First, you put in a great, three dimensional, tactical combat system—.then make ships so fiagile thar they explode like firecrackers at the slightest provocation. Most combats are over in two turns, giving you almost no chance to run away. Next, you put in the unique Master of Orion research, system—then take away all the cool neat stuff, and make most of the research like “Level 2 Farm, Level 3 Farm, Level 2 Factory, Level 3 Factory,” and so on. Then make the act of upgrading to a higher level of facility something that takes a dozen or so turns (sometimes MUCH more). Then progeam it so that colonies all start out at level 1, making colonization a tedious and frustrating business. Let players play on really big maps, but have almost all ships go only 1 or 2 spaces a turn (and no faster, since research is so unimaginative), making movement across the map a painfully slow process. Then make shipbuild- ing extremely expensive (especially considering how frag- ile they are), so that building a spacefleet and army for conquest is just as slow as movement. Institute a fascinating system of morale, o that the var- ious races get bonus points for doing things they're sup- posed to do (e.g., Klingons get really happy when you conquer), and are penalized for acting out of character (brutally conquer a world as the Federation, and watch in horror as Earth goes into revolt)—then make the penal- ties and bonuses to morale so outrageous that accidental- ly losing a scout ship in a minor skirmish can only be rec- tified by slaughtering millions of civilians and conquering aworld. Make sure the program makes it easy for a scout ship to be ambushed by-a space station, and don‘ forget to make the ship so fragile that it is certain to be destroyed before it can run away from the sneaky starbase. ‘Add the possibility of a wide range of random events including stuff that happened on the television show, then make the events so horrific that players will learn to expect asteroids to annihilate worlds every three turns or so, Dont forget to add a high possibility of an unstop: pable Borg invasion of 3 or more cubes, since players ight like to have game after game ended because of a “random” event, even on the “easy” level Finally, make the game fairly: complex, with lots of lit tle rules and nuances. Then, put nothing in the rulebook that comes in the box, and charge another $20 for the “strategy guide,” which has all the charts and tables a player will need to make informed decisions about what to do, Be sure the strategy guide includes all the built-in cheats that the designers used, (the only way they could actually finish this abomination.) ‘Add co the mix a slew of bugs, and program requirements that could take hous of effore before the program will even run. [really wanted to like this game, but, in the end, it was once, then blow off the hard drive” game for me. Some people might well love this game, but Ihave a lif, Hey just because I dont like ir doesnit mean irs a bad game. Disagree with my rants? Write me sometime at IQRickMo@aol.com, and convince me of the error of my ways. O ‘sniff GAME CENTER ¢ Over 10,000 Items in Stock + Boawd Games # Cava Games " # Fantasy, Sci-Fi & Historical Miniatures | RPGS @ LARPs # & Much Morell! visit our culine store ak: Featuring new aac at 20% off the suggested retail! A Percentage of ALL Sales Goes To Chavity 1-904-399-1975 2850 Atlantic Bld. ¢ Jacksowville, FL32207 Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine” * September, 1999 GO ees y So kenneth ‘cana ves Gale Gee See mero, Aili Oc Glog, awe 9 Lec of Tea ‘wha the dangerous cet hat har bem THuland, the plow der of Kuan? Neng he advnruing pty finds ham ‘hakengs yt The feaple tl uke eying US ech ttt. The tod soe ten toe cling betrayal fm one of nce, them will sve and abe up te A ip inseam am ongolng sage ors Aven ator Aiaby Véga and Ble Loyd at pale cove by Rico 33a KODT GameVine Cub | Reporter! | Send your news items to gamevine@aol.com | | I | | | HEARD IT ON THE GAMEWINE Rese st Origins 99 announced. Congratulations to all einen a BLG THANKS to everyone who cook the time 10 fill out a ballor and yore, and Industry Buzz plucked 1998 ORIGINS AWAR AWARD ID WINNERS ANNOUNCED Ohio he Orgs Awad Winners were Best New PBM Game: Dungeon (Madhouse USA) Best On-going PBM Game: Middle Earch PUM Fourth Age Beat Game-Related Novel The Silent Blade (WorC) Best Game-Relaed Short Work: Lefovers (Pinnacle) ‘Bet Action Computer RIG Star War: Rogue Squadron (Luca) Best Roleplaying Computer Game: Baldur's Gate (Ieply) Best ‘Starcraft (Blierard/ Havas) Best Amateur Game Magarine: Mythic Perspectives (Grurwing Ideas) Ber reel Gu Magi Kg of ai Ti (omer) Best Graphic Presentation ofa Card Gare: Deaands CCG (Wes) si cota: Peeves #4 iras ote Oars san a000 Best Graphic Presentation of an RPG: Diagonlance Westar (in) Best Card Gume Expansion o Supplement: M:TG: Urs Saga (Win) fea Ten al oe a OO Best Traditional Card Game: Guillotine fest Historical Figure Miniatures Seis (orale Mic Guersey Found) Best Vehicle Miniature: Velocipede (Pinnacle) Best SciFi or Fantasy Figure Miniature: Hangs’ dye Pinaele) Best Abstract Board Gare: What Were You Thinking? (WoC) ‘Rest Historical Board Game; Great War at Sea; Man Orange (Avalanche) Best Science Fiction or Fantasy Board Game: Crimson Skies (FASA) Best Adventure: Rerura wo the Tomb of Horrors (Worl) Best hemes: awk: The Adventure Begins (War) Saat. BABY!” Decipher to publish Austin Powers Collectible Card Game ne, baby! The same Its party Decipher ( ls who brought you the Star Wars CCG) are working lAu Collectible C. time, baby: dig out those mood rings and bell bottom | a Powers J Game. Can you say, “Ids land prepare +o g SUPPORT biol) 3 LOCAL GAME SHOP! The game is due out this fall. So} randy. For more info go to; MAXIMUM DROOL FACTOR! AVALON HILL BACK? ACQUIRE Boy, is it EVER! —s Las year when it was announced HASBRO was buying out Avalon Hil cry of despair ike Acquire Axis and Allies and Diplomacy have been piven make-overs ana brought up to dae. Go to wewavalon to see mote, HOODY HOO! KODT LOST WORLDS BOOKS Flying Buffalo will be releasing four Lost Worlds books based on the KODT characters in October. The books will be fully compatible with the other books in popular diceless combat series, Proc #8610 Kok Bob $895 Prdac 861: Tb ul Prodact #8612 ER 2 Product #8613: Thorn - feral arcs with ( For more info contact: Flying Buffalo Inc PO Box 1467/Scottsdale, AZ 85252 USA Ph: 480-945-6917 jeans| Issue #35: Death Awaits™from the vine for your reading enjoyment r re Knights of the Dinner Tabl tember, 199936 BRIAN’S SMALL PRESS PICKS | DEVIL BUNNY NEEDS A HAM Cheapass Games | 2530 E. Miller St. Seattle WA, 98122 www.cheapass.com Lk Iwas drawn to this game by the wacky ttle and although the game has nothing to do with ham, i isan interesting litle strategy board game. Of couse itis produced in the Cheapass format on black and white card stock, Players compete to be among the first to move their tokens safely to the top of a building (the board). Unfortunately, Devil Bunny feels the need t0 | knock them down every so often. Falling players will ive or die depending | on the height of the fall or whether or not there is anyone below them to | ] catch them. i ‘As you would expect from Cheapass games, this is a great one co pull out during a party or when simply passing time wih friends LIFE’S A GAME/ PLAY!! Brian's Rating: Another fine game from Cheapass STOP SECRET: The cP Game Plum Publishing INC. PO, Box 511521, SLC, UT 84151-1521 www.plumpublishing.com $29.95 This game is cleverly disguised in a pizza box so it mi 0 miss in your typical game store. But if you can find it, its defi- nitely worth checking out. ‘The format of the game is a traditional abstract board game that comes with multicolored six sided dice, tokens and chips for use during play. The rules are a simple one page sheet and they're also | summarized on the board itself, Each player plays @ spy and begins play at his home “embassy “The chips represent political “secrets” that are placed in prede- | tetmined locations on the board according to matching the color of the secret wich the color of the board loc tion, Each color represents a different country. The goal of the game isto travel around the board and be the first to collect at least one secret from cach of the other 5 countries and return them to your embassy. What makes this game really fan is your ability to mess with your opponents. Like the old game Aggravation, landing on your opponent’ tokeris allows you to send them back to his own embassy. Furthermore you can id an opponent's embassy to take any secrets he has there. Each player also has “satellite” embassies that may allow him to fax secrets back to the home embassy but this might be more difficult that delivering the secret in person. ‘There are also airport spaces which allow faster round-the-board movement. All in allthis game is a fun cowist on a classic board game concept. Brian's Rating: Thats classified mister! Just buy the game. PUBLISHERS! GET YOUR GAME SPOTLIGHTED HERE! SEND YOUR REVIEW COPIES TO: KODT: BRIAN'S PICKS 1003 MONROE PIKE Mee oeees Issue #34: Of Dice and Men™road on are arias FI i Lal E \—] a] m en | La) a“ a) [J] a ol ru pa 4 J \—] = E] S CHARGE ME ONE OF THOSE BAD BOYS ON MY NOMS CREDIT CARD!!! Saray ae BI KODT T-Shir are now available Clasic black with the above srp in white, Size XL only Available exzlusvely from Kenzer and Company Our mail onder address KencerCo, 2094 Camine alos Cero, Menlo Par, CA 94025 Doing Selling, and Trading Dungeons & m ; ragons, Wargames, and Sci-Fi. Come wo; Pat No matter where you live bi :Irnembersaolcomlaleder4SAlines al i we are your friendly é aah Raza neighborhood game shop. We stock roleplaying games, card games, board games, sq «Looking for a lost Ethyk! It has war games, dice, dice bags, ality 3 iataced, Gatael Rea reddish brown hair and responds to accessories, novels, magazines, fj the name Kip, If you have any ae Se cant, information please contact me at ae We take special orders eel. Www.jestersplayhouse. com\zardoz.htm jy and advance orders gladly. TOLL FREE 1-888-333-WOLF We ship anywhere. Store Location 36 W. High Street Springfield, Ohio 45503 Call for our weeldy specials 937-325-0089 ian ONE-TIN soLDtEp, Fax 937-325-1315 ee) XY LOSE DUCK poy VISA/MC/AMEX/DISC . are all accepted gladly. ATTENTION CONTRIBUTORS! lis meting pace where readers may pas along information, bares, BAN e gy 6 BATTED AM IDEA FOR A KODT STRIP THAT WAS| trade and gossip. Readers are invited to place classified ads, announce | ’ cmp min, scck out ober players, Sbsrbers of ODT may fl PUBLISHED, BLT NOT RECEIVE YOUR FREE COPY OF B] place classified ads free of charge with a limit of one ad per issue and a MMI KODT = CONTACT THE EDITOR. (HE LOST HIS LIST). BE maximum of tw nine Ne Sabena may plc sa ce SURE TO INCLUDE THE NAME OF THE STRIP, YOUR FULL tate of 506 pce word with + mit of 25 words. Companies may plac following tates: [5.5" x2" - $50], [2.75" x 25) is |NAME, AND SNAIL MAIL. 10}. Non-profit organizations (serving the Gris omy tad ConvelonsorSxatas wa lc df Bt, Allee placed Bon a first-come first-served basis with subscribers having priority. aa = = PRL as . Knights of the Dinner Table Magazine” * September, 1999 37Palladium Books® role-playing games, limited only by your imagination Copyright 1999 Palladium Books Inc. All rights reserved, worldwide. Palladium Books®, Megaverse®, and Rifis® are all regis- tered trademarks owned & licensed by Kevin Siembieda and Palladium Books Inc. Systems Failure and other titles and names are trademarks owned by Kevin Siembieda and Palla- dium Books Tne. Systems Failure™ When the cities fell, and the world went “off-line,” all seemed lost. Anarchy reigned. All that is left/ are the Survivalists, Na- ture-Lovers, Farmers, Gun Bunnies, Eggheads and backwoods. wackos living on the fringe. Most are people found in remote regions — many because they were prepared for the Y2K Bug and the collapse of civilization. Oh, there are “bugs” all right. Alien bug-like things that feed on energy and turn humans into zombie-like slaves. ‘Things are even worse than those “prepared” could have imagined, but these survivors aren’t ready to give up.America (and then the world) will be free! And they mean business That's right, play one of the “wackos” fight- ing to save the world in a post-holocaust envi- ronment that makes worries about the Y2K Bug seem like a picnic. © A complete, new role-playing game. © Everything you need to play in one dy- namic package (dice and players nat in- cluded). Quick, easy-to-learn rules. Fast paced and dynamic fun. ‘The Villains: Inhuman invaders from an- other dimension. © The Heroes: Society's castaways, nutcases & survivalists. © The adventure: Reclaiming the world for god-fearing humans, © Don’t miss the adventure. © 128 page role-playing game. © Only $12.95 — in stores everywhere. Palladium Books® Inc. Dept. K 12455 Universal Drive Taylor MI, 48180 www.palladiumbooks.com Learn more about all of Palladium's games. Chat with other role-playing gamers. Get the latest Palladium news and updates. Download free, on-line supplemental books. Surf to over 200 other Palladium game sites. Find on-line game events, Join in on talks with V.P. Maryann Siembieda. © See why we get over 70,000+ hits a month, ‘That's — www.palladiumbooks.com — where we eat, sleep and breathe role-playing games. evcceceTHEIR TACTICAL BATTLES: Dwarves vs. Orcs, It’s Not Armageddon. They’re Not Evil Incarnate. But... You're Invited To Their “Very ppecials Show Humans vs. Elves, CE GUS OF ® er Orcs vs. BC rue Lizards esac) OUR TACTICAL BATTLES: Clowns vs. Romans, Platypi vs. Wwwl Troops, Giant Bugs vs. Knights, Turtles vs. Aztecs, Suburban Demons vs. Napoleon, Robots vs, Classical Monsters, Cowboys vs. Arab Mystics, Native Americans vs. Religious { Freaks, etc., § etc., etc... THEg- CABLL P.O, BOX 736 HAMPSTEAD, NH 03841 CABIL@CABIL.COM "MINIS & RULES AVAILABLE _| ONLINE BUT PLEASE SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL GAME STORE! And They Want To Sacrifice You TACTICAL MINIATURES ah & UNIVERSAL SYSTEM ee Knights Of = es WWW.CABIL.COM 1S NOW AVAILABLE, WITH BULLETIN BOARDS, MAILING LISTS, ERRATA, oe INFO FOR | wh § RETAILERS, AND MORE!“HOUSTON, WEHAVEA PROBLEM!” reader recently informed us that NASA has a contigency plan inthe event ofa Viking Attack and instructed us to got to gezis@arwen ar. nasa.gov. We were abit surprised hat to find he was telling che truth, Fither the folks at NASA have a keen sense of (7/-J} tumor or someone down in R&D has been sniffing the helium tanks again. At any rate, we thought our readers would find “Defense Against Viking Raids” an interesting rea. SUBJECT: Procedure to Follow in the Event That Vikings attack Building 245. BACKGROUND: Since the decline of the Carolingian Empire in the 10th century, Building 245 of the NASA Ames Research Center has been subject to periodic raids by Viking marauders. These marauders generally attack in search of gold, reli- gious icons, and other forms of plunder, The NASA Ames Barbarian Affairs Office feel as established the following procedures for defense against Viking raids: DEFENSE AGAINST VIKING RAIDS 1.0 Complete a DARC-820AD (Identifying a Barbarian Attack) to determine if [-@ the visitors are Viking raiders. 1.1 Are the strangers wearing weapons, helmets, and armor? 1.2 Do the strangers lack trade goods or other evidence that they might only be peaceful merchants? 1.3. Do the strangers have NASA Anes visitor ID badges? 1.31 If s0, do these badges identify the visitors as Viking raiders? 2.0 Fill out Viking Raid Logbook in Division Office. 3.0 Complete an FF-1066AD (Report of Viking Raid) 3.1 Section I -- Identity of the attackers 3.11 Nationality (if not Norwegian, swedish, Danish, or Frisian check ‘other!) +12 Name of leader (include name of family and clan) +13 Under ‘Religion’ check either ‘Pagan’ or ‘Converted’ «2 Section II -- Program Office Review +21 Check ‘Unclassified’. +22 Originating NASA Organization (NASA Ames Research Center/SST). +23 Type in Division Chief. 3.24 Type in Mail Code under ‘Office Code’. 3.25 Type in Mail Code under ‘Program Office and Code’. 3.3 Write cover letter to NASA Headquarters. 4.0 Assemble the FF-1066AD package. Separate and assemble the FF-1066AD with four (4) copies of cover letter as follows: woevee 4.1 First Page (white) -- attach cover letter to the back. On the side write: DO/218-2. 4.2 Second Page (green) -- attach cover letter to the back. On the side write: s/200-7. 4.3 Third Page (pink) -- attach cover letter to the back. On the side write: 88/245-1, 4.4 Fourth Page (yellow) -- attach cover letter to the back. On the side write: Branch Code and Mail Stop (SsT/245-3). 5.0 Finish DARC-820AD -- staple copies of letter to Headquarters (step 3.3) to the back. 6.0 Forward DARC-820AD and FF-1066AD package to Division Office for signatures. 6.1 Division Chief will forward DARC-820AD and letters to secretary to file in author's file. 6.2 Division Office will sign FF-1066AD, date all copies, and forward them as follows: 6.21 Original: to Document Control Clerk. 6.22 Others: to Branch Office and Directorate Office. 7.0 Take refuge in the hills until the raiders are gone. Q 4 0——$ sue #35: Death Awaits™from the writers of knights of the Dinner Table kc of the Sovereign Lands and chronology of the Sovereign the main continent of the world of Tellene the Sovereign Lands by region, for easy reference; each section includes a map showin hy, kingdom boundaries, smiles cal prod eo * Over 25 kingdoms, city-states and tegions ripe for adventure, he gamut fiom noble kingdoms to vile realms of tyran ray and from cities of thieves to primeval barbarian tribes. jraphical regions in detail, fron stic Krond Heig to the mysterious Vohven Jungles and from the elven Lendelwood to the haunted Khydoban Desert Volume Il: Mythos of the Di * Includes and Worldly Tellene, aswell as unusual magical and extra-planar events and locations. * Contains descriptions of numerous independent organizationsiof psionicists, barbarians, rebels, pirates and thieves, including the infamous Secret Network of the Blue Salamander, * Deaals the history of the Gods of Tellene and the War of the Gods as well as their nature a their relacionship with mortals * Describes in detail each of the forty-three Gods of ellen, including their spheres, faiths, temples and specialty priests * Includes a section on the languages of the Sovereign Land§ and: the scripts of each, fiom High Elvish to Hobgoblin, * BOTH volumes include extensive, cross-referenced indexes (OF quick reference Kingdoms of Kalamar Maps + Includes cwo magnificently detailed full-color 36” by 24” Fie that together detail the entire Sovereign Lands of the Ki of Kalamar. + Alco includes a calibrated hex-map overlay for accurate distance Kingdoms of Kalamar™ Fantasy Roleplaying Setting The dark hordes of the Flaymaster, Lord of Pain and Torture, raid the southern lands from th temple northern fastness, The Minions of Misfortuns ator of Strife, threaten the cities and lands of the east. 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