One of our grade 3 female students receives transportation to school
in Plymouth, MN from St. Paul, MN as she is protected under the McKinney Vento act. At the same time, we have had some safety issues with the driver, and the student has been displaying several behavioral issues. One day in February, the student received a write up from the transportation company for behavior in the van on the way to school. Our transportation policy says that the second offense can include a Office Discipline Referral, which was the route I took for this issue. The same evening, the students mother called and was very upset about her daughter receiving this rule slip, as she did not believe her child was misbehaving. When I tried to explain the facts about her discipline issues, such as not listening to the driver or her teacher, aggressive behavior on the playground, and treating friends with disrespect, the mother continued to cut me off and yell. I alerted her that I wanted to work toward a solution with her but if she was not going to talk to me respectfully, we would have to talk another day. In the end, she continued to yell so I said I was going to hang up. The mother hung up on me. The next morning, the mother got a ride into school from St. Paul to discuss the matter. In addition to the mother, she brought her sister and daughter and our Principal, Equity Specialist and Transportation Coordinator joined the meeting. We stated that we appreciated her passion for her daughter and that we were all at the meeting for the same reason to find a solution. This showed the mother that our relationship with her was a priority and that the issue was not her or her daughter, but the behavior of both the driver and her daughter. We started by listening to the mothers concerns, one of which was that the classroom teacher had not alerted her of any of the behavioral issues. She was also concerned about her daughters safety on the way to school. As she spoke, she reached for my hand and said, I am so sorry for the phone call yesterday. I couldnt sleep all night and cried this morning. I told her I understand and it is in the past that we are here for her daughter and will work things out. As a school team, we agreed to make sure the teacher from this point forward will keep mom updated on her daughters behavior and academic performance. We also made changes in transportation so that a new, safe driver was appointed. Mom, aunt and I continued to talk about strategies to support her daughter in the classroom, such as preferential seating and a task card. By the end of the meeting, mom was hugging me, thanking me and was as excited as I was about our new partnership and the positive solutions we reached. This scenario posed an ethical dilemma because it is our responsibility as educators to develop partnerships with parents, and this relationship was in danger. Problem solving together was critical in this situation to get back in sync with the parent in order to support her daughter.