Question and Answer

1. Misconceptions about Counselling

Counselling only deals with disciplinary and serious mental and

emotional problems.
The majority of those who seek counselling help are usually stressed with their
daily life issues and also seeking for personal growth and development. Stress is
normal and it is part of our life. Sometimes, counselling may deal with individuals
who are having severe problems and even mental disorders but it does not
represent the majority of the counsellors client.

Counsellor will work together with psychiatrists for individuals with mental
disorders. Furthermore, the individual who attends counselling may help to
prevent the issues to become severe.

Seeking for counseling help means the person is weak.

In contrast, an individual who seeks for help has the courage to face his/her
issues and is ready to get help for self-improvement.

Counselling is not helping at all.

Counselling is often successful when the individual is willing to work together,
honest and open to discuss about his/her issues with the counsellor. Moreover,
the individual hold the responsibility to decide and change for his/her life. A
counsellor does not force or give advice except for any situations that may harm
the person or others. Furthermore, each individual will experience different
processes based on the clients needs, goal and as well as decision.

Im totally fine, there is no reason to seek for counselling.

Generally, everyone has emotions and thoughts that will weigh their minds no
matter how fine the individual does in his/her life. Sometimes it may work well if
there is someone to talk and listen to you emphatically. You have the rights to
seek or not to seek for counselling help.

It is awkward to talk to the counsellor about my personal issues.

It is common to feel uneasy when talking about your personal issues to the
counsellor during your first meeting. However, it takes some time and the
uneasiness feeling will slowly fade away once you are familiar and comfortable
with the counselling process and with the counsellor.

Counsellor doesnt know about me and how does he/she helps me?
It will be much better to have someone who is not part of your life when listening
to your personal issues. Hence, talking to the counsellor will help to get neutral,
less bias and also non-judgmental understanding about yourself and your issues.
Counsellor will get to know more about you and your issues through the sharing
sessions during counselling.

Other people will know if Im going to counselling.

Counsellor ensures all counselling sessions are strictly private and confidential
during and after the counselling sessions, with exception of certain
circumstances:

Serious or foreseeable harm to yourself or to another person

When a child or protected adult is at risk of harm or abuse

As ordered by legal court

Contagious or life-threatening disease

Use of illicit drugs

The counselling room is located at the end of the corner room at 1 st floor to
ensure complete privacy for the individual.
Counsellor will help solve my problems.
A counsellor is neither a definite problem solver nor the fixer of your problems.
Each of us is unique and different. A counsellor will discuss the issues together
with you to come out with your own solutions and also help you to make your
own decision which is the best work for your issues.

Counselling takes a long period of time.

The duration of the counsel is based on your needs, progress and goal.
Counselling is more focused on the clients progress and the quality of the
counselling outcome. It is fine to discuss with the counsellor how many session
you prefer as well as can be terminated anytime with the counsellor with prior
notice given.

"Only children with 'problems' or 'bad kids' should need to see a

counselor."
Heres another way to look at this: School counselors should serve all students.
All students are welcome and encouraged to come to the school counselors for a
variety of reasons. Realistically,weallhaveproblems.

"My child should be able to talk and solve problems at home."

Heres another way to look at this: A counselor should be an unbiased third party.
A counselor may be able to give feedback to an individual that their family or
friends may not be comfortable to provide. A counselor is also bound by strict
confidentiality laws that protect the student.

"I dont want my child to miss any valuable class time."

Heres another way to look at this: It is true, being a school counselor means that
the children must be at school to access the counselor, which also means that
the individual and group counseling times are during the school day. We work
closely with the teachers to ensure that the child does not miss out on valuable
class work. If the child is out of the room during instruction time, they will get
caught up to speed upon their return.

"My child only goes to see the school counselor to get out of class."
Heres another way to look at this: The teachers and counselors are pretty savvy
about knowing when a student truly needs to visit the school counselor. We keep
running records of the children we see and notice patterns very quickly.

"Theres no reason for my child to see a counselor. They are fine!"

Heres another way to look at this: No matter how fine individuals appear,
everyone has emotions and thoughts weighing on their minds. Having someone
listen to thoughts and emotions can work wonders! Here are some common
topics we discuss with individuals and small groups: conflict resolution, emotional
awareness, life events, problem solving, self-esteem, social skills, and study
skills.

"The school counselor should call the guardian when their child visits."
Heres another way to look at this: Every person deserves to have someone they
can talk with and know that what they say is respected through privacy. A school
counselors first priority should be to build a trusting relationship with each
student. We strive to provide a safe environment for every child. That would be a
lost cause if the students thought we would call a guardian after each visit. If we
see the same student for the same reason on multiple occasions, we will call the
guardian. If there is an immediate concern, we will call the guardian. Please feel
free to call us anytime with concerns you may have.

"My child does not need to see a mental health professional outside of
school since the school has a counselor."
Heres another way to look at this: While one role of a school counselor is to meet
with students individually, there is definitely not enough time or resources to
adequately fulfill all of the needs that some students may have. Our general
thought regarding individual counseling is that we will visit with a student a few
times regarding the same issue before we call their guardian. Once contact with a
guardian has been made, it is then up to the guardian to decide whether or not
they would like their child to work with our School-Based Clinician, Mrs.
Blackburn, or if they will seek outside aide (see Community
Resources). Remember, counseling services from Mrs. Blackburn are not provided
during the summer.

"The counselor is at the school only to serve individual students and

groups."
Heres another way to look at this: We do visit with individual students and
groups, but we also visit classrooms one week per month for 60 minutes each.
During our monthly classroom visits we cover district- and state-approved
curriculum. Lessons include topics such as: bullying, choice making, study skills,
test-taking skills, self-esteem, friendship, and careers.

2. Characteristics Of An Effective Counselor

Patience
As a counselor you need to have patience with your clients as they process the discussion. It
may take them time to accept certain things and to move towards positive changes. Some
people need to discuss something many times before they are prepared to make a move in
any particular direction. Also, you are not likely to see large changes in an individual client;
therefore, you must be okay with incremental progress in their lives and rejoice over small
victories.

GoodListener
Counselors spend a significant amount of time listening to their clients. You will do more
listening than talking. You must be content to give the client time to express their story and
their feelings. You will need to be intuitive in discerning what the client is really saying and
read between the lines

Compassionate
It is very important that your clients feel your compassion for their problems and that they
sense you truly care about them. You may not be able to relate to every issue that is shared
with you, but you need to be able to have compassion for how it feels to be in their shoes.
Genuine concern yields positive results.

Nonjudgmental
Counselors hear all kinds of private information and encounter all types of people. You may
hear dark secrets from someones past involving such things as sexual or criminal behavior.
You must do you best to refrain from judgment and instead communicate positive regard.
There are times when it may be necessary to judge a particular behavior, but the client must
not feel that you are judging them. Likewise, you may encounter clients of different races
and/or cultures. You must not push your cultural or religious views upon them. Multicultural
competency is a necessary skill. The counseling environment needs to be a safe place for a
client to share their most intimate concerns.

Research-Oriented
Being a counselor involves a significant amount of time spent researching. You will need to
stay current on the research in order to help your clients. This involves reading books and
journal articles on a regular basis. You do not learn everything you need to know while in
college. Much of your knowledge will come from personal research after you have begun to
see clients.

Empathetic
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. You need to be able to
put yourself in the shoes of your client and understand the situation from their point of view.
Even if you dont agree with their perspective, you still need the ability to understand how it
feels to them in order to address their issue effectively. However, its important that you are
not too empathetic. Some people struggle as counselors because they are unable to
maintain objectivity and therefore carry home the emotional stress of the job. The level of
empathy necessary can be a fine line between helpful to client and harmful to counselor.

Discrete
Confidentiality is of upmost importance when you are a counselor. You must be able to
maintain confidentiality so the client can trust you with their most intimate concerns.

Encouraging
The ability to encourage is important for a counselor. Many clients are struggling to find hope
in their situation. One of the primary jobs of a counselor often involves instilling hope in a
hopeless individual.
Self-Aware
A counselor who is aware of their own fears, insecurities, and weaknesses will be effective in
the therapeutic relationship. It is important that you do not react defensively to what a client
shares. You must be able to keep your own feelings out of the session. You will be better
able to do this if you are self-aware. In addition, self-aware individuals are more intuitive with
regards to solving their own problems and can use that knowledge to help clients through
similar situations.

Authenticity
Authenticity is vital when working with clients. Clients will know if you are being fake or not
showing genuine concern. They will not open up to you or trust your advice unless they feel
you are genuine. This is even more critically important when working with teen

Listening is essential for effective counseling. It involves more than just hearing the
words a client says. An effective counselor can hear tone, see body language and
notice the context of the words being spoken.

Without empathy a counselor cannot effectively treat a client. A counselor should

understand a client's motivations and needs. Empathy includes responding to a
client's feelings with the same level of intensity that the client is expressing. This lets
a client know a counselor is fully listening.

Effective counselors create relationships with clients. Counselors are present,

assessable, authentic and have a genuine interest in people. Trust between
counselors and clients allows clients to openly express themselves and allows
counselors to provide feedback.

Flexibility is needed in different parts of a counselor's work. Effective counselors

understand emergencies happen. Schedules might change. Counselors are flexible
in understanding different clients' backgrounds and experiences.

Counselors often encounter difficult and traumatic stories. Effective counselors know
how to use humor appropriately with clients as a therapeutic tool. Effective
counselors have an awareness of themselves and know their views, values and
health. Counselors must be healthy and well taken care of to effectively care for
clients.

3. Counselling Process
 Relationship Building

Prob
lem
Assessment

Goal Setting
 Intervention

Termination and Follow-Up

4. Basic Counselling Skills
Mininum Encouraging

Attending SOLER(Squarely-OpenPosture-LeanForward-EyeContact-
Ralaxed Attitude)

Listening

Paying attention: Eye contact, nodding, etc.

Hearing before evaluating.

Listening for the whole message.

Paraphrasing what was heard.

Probe for causes and feelings.

Use of Silence

Reflecting

Reflection feeling and meaning: recognizing clients feelings and letting

him know you have understood their feeling

Paraphrasing

Repeating in ones own words what the client has said

Focusing

Building Rapport

Open ended Questions

Asking openended questions which allow for more explaining. Help the
client to go deeper into his problems and gain insight.

Summarising

Confrontation

Immediancy Skills

Clarifying and the Use of Questions