Teenagers' Relationship With Their Parents (Problems & Solutions)

INTRODUCTION

Every teenager has a problem. There is no doubt about it. As any parent of a teenager
knows that discipline can be a difficult and confusing issue, of course a teenager also
knows what good behavior is and which is the right way to comfort and make their parents
happy. Discipline isnt about punishment; its about helping people in developing
responsibility. This may be one of the common problems of a teenager, in which the
teenager thinks that the punishment is for something else. Here they start disobeying their
parents, which creates problems.

It's really a shame on us to lie to ourselves and not to care about anything in life and
consider our parents like a machine with no time to do their own business. Let's ask
ourselves, why do teenagers feel anger when their family punishes them? In other words,
what is going on in the world to see that huge gap between family and their teenagers? In
this essay, Ill try to fish out some of the problems between teenagers and parents and find
reasons for this bad behavior in which teenagers treat their parents and also provide some
possible solutions for them.

PROBLEMS

There are a lot of reasons for the problems that happen between teenagers and parents.
But the biggest ones are media and technology, where child and teenager can make their
secret life; also, with technology, the internet becomes their new father and guide so that
many teenagers are not close to their family and remember them only at the time of
needing money. And if you ask me, I say that it's due to the adults who dive into their
business and forget children and teenagers, and let them in front of that wolves' world
without any vaccines (I don't mean it as a physical thing of course!!). I am not a
psychologist, but I try to find resolution to the problems that grow bigger day after day.

However, something has to be done for them and I'm talking here about those who just
sleep without any plan to their life and wait for fathers or mothers to supply them with
money. I don't mean here to make teenagers out to be adults and ask them not to ask for
any help from their parents, but what I do mean here is to help them as much as we can.
Again, I say that it does not mean for them to lose their personality and become completely
socialist, and to be controlled completely by their parents. I know now that many are likely
surprised and their minds may say, what is he talking about? Yes, that's right, I am writing
because of these bad habits in the way that teenagers treat their parents.

Besides media and technology, there are other problems too. Another great problem is the
non-presence of a goal in their life. Well, its my habit to give a strong proof or example to
support my idea. And so Ill concern myself with someone whom I know perfectly well. I can
say that he looks like a happy-go-lucky man all the time. But I can say that his teenaged
children are really a curse to him. His elder child always does whatever he wants to do at
home without being concerned about anyone at home, and also has sleepy eyes all the
time because of drugs. He still depends on his father for everything, even though he has
crossed the twenty-years-of-age threshold. According to him, his father must help him for
the sake of his future. But this help is not at all good for his future. In this situation,
teenagers become very hard to work with, especially at this time. That is because of many
factors. The first one is that teenagers need to feel free and independent, so it is good for
parents to understand this situation and try to make a good relationship between them and
their teenagers. This good relationship will help them to be close to their teenagers.

Another major problem is alcoholism and drugs. Many teenagers experiment with alcohol
and other drugs. Adolescent problems with alcohol and other drugs are occurring at an
earlier age than ever before. Children today commonly have their first alcohol-drinking
experience at 12 years of age, in contrast to 13 to 14 years of age in previous generations.
Each year, an estimated 4.6 million adolescents of 14 to 17 years of age have alcohol-
related problems such as poor school performance, trouble with their parents, or criminal
behavior and arrests. Recent research has shown that beer is now the drink of choice for
many teenagers. Alcohol damages the health of teenagers as well as disturbing their
behavior. Drinking and the after-effects of drinking impair concentration, learning and
performance at skilled tasks, and induce irritability, hostility and aggression. A person who
begins to use alcohol or other drugs at an early age is very likely to become seriously
dependent on them. Alcohol abuse is a major problem for teenagers as a group, including
the added possibility of moving on to other drugs such as cocaine and heroin. Alcohol and
other drugs are also involved in a large portion of teenage crimes nowadays.

Also there is a health problem that teenagers face which some doctors have discovered. It's
insomnia in teenagers, which is being reported with increasing frequency. Doctors
acknowledge that it's a real problem for some teenagers these days, just being unable to
sleep at night. What causes insomnia in teenagers? There's certainly the lifestyle that
teenagers adopt, which is probably the same as it always used to be. They stay up late at
night, especially on the weekend, and then are unable to get up early during the week. It's
not uncommon for them to sleep at lunchtime or immediately after school, which makes the
problem of not being able to sleep at night worse. They also end up sleeping most of the
weekend to try and make up for all the sleep they lost during the week. It's a bit of a vicious
circle. The danger is that this can become a pattern, almost like jet lag, where your cycle of
sleep adjusts itself completely out of the normal context and your body tries to tell you it's
time to go to sleep, when in fact it's not at all. It can take weeks for a teenager to get back
into the right sleep habits and recover from insomnia. The problem is that there is never
enough time in between weekends for a proper sleep pattern to be formed. Other common
causes of insomnia in teenagers are anxiety and depression. It's a fact that many teenagers
are having to struggle with just about everything! It can be one of most difficult times of our
lives, our adolescent years. Whether it's to do with friends, family, or school, there are
almost an unlimited number of reasons why a teenager could be anxious or depressed.
Unavoidably, this anxiety and depression is going to lead to sleep problems.

There are other problems too, like shoplifting, abuse, peer pressure, and smoking, which
should also be considered.

POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS

How do the teenagers solve their problems?

Well, it's like trying to break a really bad habit (like biting your fingernails, playing practical
jokes on your sister, or jumping on your parents' bed), but harder. Look at it this way. Is it
really hard to break a habit you have been doing for the last four years?

For example, imagine you were on drugs for the past few years. Suddenly, an angel on
your right shoulder comes out of a nine-year retirement. "Be a good person," he tells you.
"Don't let your poor mother and father die in pain."

"Go away!" you snap. "Im a big kid now. I don't need a prissy, little angel like you!" The
angel ignores you. "Whatever! As I was saying, get off drugs!" Then, the prissy little angel
disappears in a cloud of smoke. So what do you do? Do you take the angel's advice, or do
you use your own worn-out brain?

Do you see what I mean? It's a tough choice, and only you and fate can decide what
happens in the future. Will it still be bad-boy stuff, or will you settle down and study, work,
and be one of those prissy little angels? Which one would YOU choose?

From this we can understand that its not easy for a teenager to solve his problems.
Teenagers solve their problems in any way they can. They go to friends, family, councilors,
helplines, and magazines. How do teenagers solve their problems though? Well, they listen
to advice from others, yet they have to choose which path to follow and who to trust. Not all
advice is great advice. They also take drastic actions and spend hours listening to their
parents and following their words.

What answers do teenagers get? Some answers are helpful; some are not. To receive
answers, teenagers go to places where they can find help and, fortunately, the answers do
solve the problems. You can receive answers from parents, friends, teachers, and helplines.
Some answers from parents are:

"Just calm down"

"Ignore it and it'll go away"

"Tell it to me step-by-step"
"Don't worry"

Are these useful answers? Of course it depends on what type of problem it is. I understand
that small problems can be dealt with, but what about problems like drugs, smoking and
alcohol?

"What! You must stop this matter!"

"You actually did this to us?"

Haven't we taught you anything?"

Those words hurt them a lot, which makes them think that they dont have parents and no
one is there to look after them. They start to create more problems than before. So parents
should also know how to face and communicate with their teenaged child to not make a
small problem get bigger and bigger. So in my opinion, not only should teenagers consider
their parents, but also parents have to consider their children.

SUGGESTIONS

1. Teenagers should try to do what their parents tell them and not do what their parents
dislike.

2. On the other hand, parents should also know how to react with their children in the best
way.

3. Teenagers like to be free and independent in their life, so it is good for parents to
understand this situation and try to make a good relationship between them and their teen-
agers.

4. Teenagers face many problems, but they are reluctant to discuss their problems with
their parents; they have to learn that they cant find anyone better than their parents to
discuss their problems with.

5. In case of insomnia in teenagers, it is important for them to get into a regular routine with
their sleep, in the same way that anyone else does. If they can establish a habit, most of
the sleep problems will disappear.

6. When teenagers need something like money, they should not steal from parents. This will
make their parents act with them in an uncomfortable way. It's better to ask from them. If
they refuse, the teenager has to accept that refusal, which will make the parents feel more
proud of their child.
7. Parents should not forget that their children still need them and, underneath it all, care
about their opinions. If parents understand and accept that some conflict is inevitable, the
child would be better prepared for it.

8. Parents should not ignore experimentation with alcohol and drugs in the hope that their
teenage son or daughter will somehow learn about the risks involved or outgrow his or her
drug-related behavior. Parents should talk to their children about the risks of alcohol and
other drug abuse, emphasizing the very serious dangers of drinking and driving and the
health hazards involved.

9. Both have to try to reduce the animosity between them and start a relationship of love
and respect, which I hope every teenager and parent can find.

CONCLUSION

We have seen that it's not easy for a teenager to solve his problems and that, for every
problem, the same solution is not possible. The four major problems of teenagers that I
have discussed here are media & technology, non-presence of a life goal, alcohol and drug
abuse, and insomnia in teenagers. Moreover, I have also discussed the incorrect way in
which some parents treat their teenagers when teenagers want to discuss their problems
with them. So it's very important for parents to know the right way in which their teenaged
children should be treated. Whatever the teenagers do, the parents should not consider
them a curse to their life. Being a teenager is not something bad because it is, in my
opinion, the best period of ones life and all our good times are spent in this period.