Brahmacharini Kumari Chandan Puranacharya

SVAKRIYA SVARASAMRITA VOLUME 2

Self-Movement by Itself in Itself as Undifferentiated Actor-Action,

Sweetness in Identity with the Self, and Innate Immutability of the
Supreme.

English Version of the original in Bengali

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reprinted or reproduced in any form without

the prior permission of the publisher.

First edition

(Volume 1) November 1981

(Volume 2) August 1983

Combined Second edition (Revised and Enlarged) containing a commentary by

Shree Virajanandji Maharaj on the deep significance of the meaning of the
esoteric words of Shree Shree Ma.

Rama Navami, 26th March, 1988.

Publisher

Shree Virajanandji Maharaj

Shree Shree Ma Anandamayi Ashram

Kankhal, Hardwar (U.P.) 249408

Printer
 MANASI PRESS

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Edilor

Ma Das

Shree Shree Ma Anandamayi Ashram

Vrindaban, Distt. Mathura (U.P.)-281 121

VOLUME 2

INTRODUCTION

I do not know, nor do I understand; in fact, I am not aware of it.

But, at the time of construction of our Naimisharanya Ashram, when

excavation was started, it was noticed that on the site on which the
present Ashramhas been built, there lay hidden, as it were, in the womb
of an unknown past, the history of two cultures in two successive layers.
It seems that the plot on which this Ashram stands today is the Tirtha
Kshetra (place of pilgrimage) of the same (ancient) Naimisharanya,
which, as narrated in Srimad Bhagavat,was the scene of activities of Shri
Rama and Shri Balarama, and also where Shri Krishna's lila-
Charitamrita (delineation of character in the form of a) was revealed
through description by Shri Suta.

Again, it was here that, in response to the prayer of Saunak Rishi, Shri
Krishna's self-revelation took place in the form of words (Shrimad
Bhagavat), in the presence of eighty eight thousand rishis.

Also, in this very Naimisharanya, it was found, in 1960, when our annul
function of Sanyama Vrata was held there, that a
particular Puran required for recitation and commentary on it (for the
assembled devotees), was not available there. This circumstance
 provided the antecedent for coming into existence of this Ashram site,
and the raison d'etre for (construction of) this Ashram. The articles
found during excavation at those time-included items of antique
earthenware, made with artistic skill, which are not seen in the modern
age.

The location of the site of the Ashram upon these two layers of past
(cultures) must have a special significance, for, why otherwise, did this
particular form of manifestation take place. While it is heard that no
image of Puran Purusha has been found installed anywhere, (all the
same) he has (now) become self-revealed here in the form of
this vigraha.*
* (See BANERJEE (R.K.) ; Mataji and Purana Purusha at Naimisharanya.

Ananda Varta Vol. XXII, No.3, July 1975, pp. 135-148.)

He who is aimed at in holding the Sanyama Vrata,

is He the super-cause in this - only He knows?

Ma says (while pointing towards Her own body),

"Oh! it is the one Atman, indeed, with all; surely, the One Parambrahma
Paramatman only."

Again, it occurs in my mind that the same Supreme

Ultimate Mahayoga itself must be responsible for bringing into light this
place and situation. It is He alone who illumined me within and that has
led to this writing.

It was through a shower of grace that I had the privilege of taking the
sacred-thread, performing Narayana Puja and getting initiated
into Gayatri Purashcharan.

The auspicious occasion for this initiation was the Paush Sankranti i.e.,
14th January 1973.

And it was our Ashram at the great Tirtha Kshetra (place of pilgrimage)
Naimisharanya on the bank of the sacred river Gomati which was
selected as the site for the completion of this ritual through the
compassion and blessings of our supremely adored Shree Shree Ma.
 For this reason, under the instruction of Ma, two new
pukka kutias (brick-built cottages), provided with all kinds of good
arrangements too, were built under a tree. Udasji was also a co-
performer of this ritual; the second kutia was meant for her.

During the performance of this ritual, there arose in me, at some

auspicious moment, a solemn resolve to prepare a written record of th
details concerning the holy life of Shree Shree Gurudeva, based on
whatever was personally known and heard by me, and give it the shape
of a book.

Since very ancient times in the unknown past, this

great Tirtha Naimisharanya has continued to be the sustainer of an
uninterrupted stream of spirituality. It was this very place where
the Ashwamedh Yagna was performed by Shri Ramchandra, where he
had met Lava and Kusha, and where the heart-rending tragedy was
enacted of Sita's entry into Patal (nether world).

Again, it was here that king Virat and his palace and the five Pandavas
had lived incognito.

Also, in this very Tirtha Kshetra, in response to the prayer of rishis,

Shrimad Bhagavat, comprising the lila of Shri Krishna, was related for
the first time by Shri Suta, eighteen Purans were written by Shri Vyasa,
etc.

So, it comes to my mind that this was, indeed, the right place where, in
that unbroken flow of spiritual stream, the purifying chronicle of Shree
Gurudeva first came to Light in a filiform. That book published in the
present form is surely a dressing upon that framework with various
colours and (the contents) developed and ornamented by taking
advantage of Ma's presence too at various places when such opportunity
was available.

I have, certainly, gone through other books, etc., on the subject published
before. All these writings reflected each one's own ideas and feelings as
they came from his heart. Depending on the condition we are in, this is
but natural for us. Whatever few facts were directly witnessed and
obtained by people at particular places, these were also collected and
incorporated in this writing. Further, through queries and conversation,
the little that we could get from Ma - how much of it we could grasp, we
do not know-that too has been inserted here. All this was done through
an effort extending over some three to four years. Surely, because of the
fact that this is an account concerning my Gurudeva Muktananda Giriji
Maharaj, we could get from Ma as much as it could be.

Books, etc., published by the Ashram are certainly accepted by all with
respect. After a perusal of these publications, many have, indeed,
refereed to Ma the queries that arise in their minds, and after getting Her
replies, have corrected and do keep on correcting the wrong impressions
they have had till then.

From among them, someone, after reading one of such books put a
question to Ma about some facts concerning Giriji. On hearing Her
reply, he said that he had raised the question as it had cropped up in his
mind on perusal of the book. And addressing Ma further, he had
remarked that, whether deliberately or through inadvertence, it surely did
not appear that accurate and exact reports were there in all places in
those writings.

From the (hitherto unpublished) writings concerning Ma, as compiled by

the late

Bhaiji, whatever relevant portion was available of the connected

accounts covering

Ma's Thakurma (grandmother),

Ma's father Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya,

Ma's mother Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi,

Bholanathji (Ma's husband) and

Ma - these five - has been taken out and embodied here (in this book). It
was, perhaps, because this (portion) dealt with the connection between
these five that Shriyukta Gurupriya Devi did not hesitate to give a very
small portion of it to me. No cause for any harm was involved and I feel,
therefore, that nobody could have any ground to say anything against it.
We, the travellers aiming at the realization of our Reality, who have met
together, for us, it is surely the form of a sacred book, as, in fact, the
writing in this book does, indeed, contain the account of the association
of these five only.
An incident is mentioned in the first three paragraphs of chapter One,* in
which Ma, an infant of 3 months, is in the lap of Shriyukta Mokshada
Sundari Devi. On coming across this incident (in the records received),
the mind recalled what had been mentioned earlier, namely, Triveni
Sangam (confluence of three rivers), and in this context, all the ideas and
language (contents of this book) cropped up, as it were.

It is our good fortune, indeed, that all this has been provided (by Him)
the opportunity given too to have knowledge of all this; we take it surely,
as the will of the Ichchhamaya (The Lord whose will is final).

Had we not got these (facts) at this time, our writing would have
remained confined to the little account concerning Shriyukta Mokshada
Sundari Devi only. But now we realize that her form, in association with
Ma is, as if, a small portion of all the aspects. Moreover, all the ways and
methods of Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi, known as Giriji in later
years till her last breath, also spontaneously coalesced. That is why, it is
with the incident of Ma, a baby in the lap of Her mother, that we begin
this book (under the subheading :

'Deliberate ignoring of a Mandatory Rule.. - A Lesson in the Pattern

of Taking Place by itself'.

Ma's Thakurma (grandmother) too was present at that time in the field of
activities of Mokshada Sundari Devi. A little about her has also been
included.

if the (details of) priceless dealings, activities, and the like of Shriyukta
Mokshada Sundari Devi, with which Ma was concerned, were excluded,
then I feel that the chronicle would be incomplete, as it wert, and would
amount to its mutilation. As for me, in what other way can I produce it
as a comprehensive whole? I can only make an endeavour to the best of
my capacity.

Regarding the particular expression Triveni Sangam, it was, as

if, Bhagavan (Himself) had given a gift of the expression to me-the three
contained in (each of) the three itself. Although all do abide in the One,
with predominance, indeed, of the One, the manifestation (in each) is of
a particular form.

So the aspects of the lives of Mokshada Sundari Devi and Bipin Bihari
Bhattacharya have been recorded as they are (in their respective roles).
 As for Ma, how She is there in all aspects is, indeed, known or
understood a little by everyone. Beginning with Her play of behaving
like a child, the all in entirety has got an indivisible concurrence too.
This indivisible coalescence, whatever it be, is unrestricted. I am only
making an endeavour to give a little account of the same, as much as I
can.

Humble

Authoress

CHAPTER ONE

Childhood: Kriyas related to Different Aspects Taking Place

by ltself In the Context of Unfoldment pertaining to the Supreme.

(Also among) School Teachers and (later in the) Assembly of

Sadhus.

In Unrestricted Innate Freedom (When) Child of Ten Months:

An emanation (a Yogi from Ma Herself).

Declaring (Ma) - The Supreme Ultimate Svarupa.

A Lesson Against Deliberate, Ignoring of a Mandatory Rule.

MA�S CHILDHOOD LILAS

When Ma was three months old, (Her mother) Shriyukta Mokshada

Sundari Devi went (from Kheora) to her paternal home at Sultanpur.
After staying there for a few days, she went to her maternal home at
Jethagaon in the district of Sylhet (all now in Bangladesh). She thought
that as she would be there (at the house of her maternal uncle) only for a
short while, it would not matter if this information to her father-in-law's
place was not sent beforehand. We had heard that the youngest maternal
uncle of Ma's mother never got married and had become a sannyasi after
renouncing the world.
 Deliberate Ignoring of a Mandatory Rule

A Lesson in tile Pattern of taking Place by Itself.

After leaving home at Sultanpur, the moment they entered the boat, Ma
started suffering from cold and fever. Also, She neither opened Her eyes
nor even took any food. Since Mokshada Sundari Devi had come to her
maternal home without taking due permission (as required), there was
fear that something untoward may happen. For this reason, everyone felt
deeply worried.

Whatever treatment was considered necessary was given and medicine

administered. Also, every morning and evening, Ma was taken to
a Tulsi plant and made to roll on the ground under it (but to no effect).
However, when Mokshada Sundari Devi hurriedly left that place for
Sultanpur, then on that very day, as soon as they boarded the boat, Ma's
eyes opened and cold and fever too vanished suddenly, then and there
itself. Everyone was amazed to notice this change and began talking
among themselves to the effect that Bhagavan had taught them a lesson
because this trip had been taken secretly.

In those days, a special custom prevalent in the villages, in regard to the

movement of ladies was that, before going anywhere, they had to take
permission from the guardians at their father-in-law's home.

Play of Teasing Child-Ma Rewarded - Ma's Grace.

At Kheora, when Ma was so small that She could only sit and crawl, the
Muslim girls of the neighbourhood that visited Ma's house used to take
delight ill holding Ma in their arms. According to the prevailing custom
of that region, the practice was that until rice was put into the mouth (of
the child), that is before annaprashan*( * Religious ceremony of putting rice in a child's mouth for
the first time.) was performed, touching the child by anyone belonging to a

different caste was not considered objectionable. In the villages in those

days, an emphasis on 'purity' and a strong feeling that 'pollution' took
place through a touch was very much in evidence. For this reason, infant
Ma used to be picked up and returned by others after She had been
stripped of all clothes and left alone on the ground. When taken back,
water was poured on Her body, and some water, with Tulsi leaves added
to it, was also sprinkled over Her.
Once a Muslim girl Ekabbar, of the locality, wanted to take Ma from the
lap of Thakurma (grandmother). The latter, therefore, left Ma on the
ground. The girl, then repeatedly stretched out her arms posing to pick
up Ma. However, every time Ma smilingly turned towards her, she
immediately withdrew a little. In this manner the girl continued smiling
and playing with Ma. After this had gone on for a long time, Ma stopped
moving, started crying and continued to do so to such an extent that the
girl failed to pacify Ma by taking Her in her lap and even with any
amount of fondling. At last, being fatigued and frightened, she set down
Ma near Her Thakurma. The latter took up Ma in her lap and handling
Her with considerable effort and caresses, stopped Her from crying.
Never before this, had Ma, at this age, resorted to crying in such a
manner. The pattern of Her crying too had become an unnatural one for a
little while.

From then onwards, that girl would never indulge in this kind of fun. She
had also told Ma's mother and Thakurma that noticing such unusual
crying, she had felt herself landed in such a plight that a recollection of it
was continuing to give her a strange sensation out of fear. That sensation
ever remained alive in her. That girl had a great love for Ma. Even after
her marriage, when she used to visit her paternal home, she would come
to meet Ma. Referring to the incident mentioned above, she would
remark that she was unable to forget it.

Ma herself Makes Her Svarupa Known through an Emanation (A

Form of Yogi) Declaring: This is Ma
Permeating and Transcending Visva.

We have heard that Mokshada Sundari Devi had reportedly narrated the
following incident to a few persons. At that time she had been staying at
Vidyakut along with Ma over a fairly long period. Ma was then about
nine to tell months old. One day, after seating Ma somewhere, she was
busy doing some work, while, of course, keeping her attention also on
Ma. Suddenly, then, there appeared the form of a man a lustrous figure,
standing very close to Ma. At that very time, Mokshada Sundari Devi
too came there and standing behind Ma, kept on observing.

In the proximity of Ma, within a very short distance, that figure sat
down, assuming an asana (a yogi's posture of sitting). Though he wore
the garb of amahatma, his outer garment being almost of jogia (ochre)
colour, he had his body covered in a strange manner. The cloth he wore
and the way it was worn-in all this, there was something unique - a
radiance, as from a glow of light, which cannot be conveyed in words.
Whatever limited activity was noticed in him, it displayed his unusual
distinctiveness with a luminosity that was beyond description.
Meanwhile, Ma, in a semi-crawling movement, using one knee as a seat
and placing the other knee and foot ahead on the ground-in the pose,
peculiar indeed to a child that can only crawl -went up quickly close to
that brilliantly radiant form of the mahainia endowed with shakti.

Then, sitting there, She kept on gazing at him and laughing too at the
same time, as if She was intimately familiar with him, being one of Her
own. Ma's mode of behaviour at that moment was not at all what is
normal for an infant. This was, at that time, something extraordinary for
such a small child.

That mahatma, while continuing to look at Ma's entire body, from Her
feet to the tip of the hair, and becoming motionless in a sitting picture,
appeared to be absorbed in meditation. Indeed, within a few moments,
again, what a smile of joy was there! Was it a revelation of a positive
gain without gaining as such? And while looking at Ma with a fixed
gaze, he kept on smiling. On the part of Ma too, there was an
inexplicable gravity and a slight smile as well.

Afterwards, hoJding Ma overhead, and immediately after touching Her

limbs, he placed Her feet reverentially on his shoulder, head and other
parts of the body. This too was, as if, an extraordinary expression of
devotion and veneration, the like of which it is not possible to find in the
common world. After this, he seated Ma in his lap with reverence, being
imbued all over with a sustained bhava that was at once so strange and
wonderful.

Next, be seated Ma again near himself and following some procedure

of puja, went through all its details known only to him. Also, some
words accompanied with mantra, etc., came out of his mouth, but what
they were could not be made out. The manner in which he did
the pranam was such as if he had entirely given himself way. His
actions-all of them-were completed one after another, within a very short
time, inexplicably with lightning speed. Finally, casting a strange glance,
accompanied with a stream of light towards Mokshada Sundari Devi and
after lifting Ma with both hands and placing Her immediately on the
ground, said "This (pointing towards Ma), whom you are seeing before
you, this is Ma, and is so not ouly among men and women, but also as
permeating and transcending the Visva. You will certainly not be able to
 keep Her bound in family ties. She will definitely not remain there."
Saying this, the mahatma became suddenly invisible there itself. This be-
coming invisible should not be understood in the ordinary' sense of the
term. What we have been hearing as Svamool, it was in that only. Where
did this mahatma appear from and where did he vanish? It was not at all
possible that he should be caught within the range of sight of anyone
again. He disappeared there only from where he had become manifest.
Revealing the identity of Ma before the world for the first time by
addressing Her as Ma-who is he? Only He knows through
whose Kheyala this kind of manifestation took place.

The incident mentioned above has been incorporated in this writing of

mine, as was heard, particularly from the mouth of Gurupriya Didi. As
for Mokshada Sundari Devi, all this could not be narrated by her in the
presence of Ma. Several years later, once at Dehradun, where she was
(called) Giriji (because of her sannyasa), Gurupriya Didi, after getting
the account from the mouth of Giriji, had enquired a little from Ma :
"Ma, when you were nine or ten months old, it is reported,
a mahatma, after appearing (before you) had addressed you as Ma for
the first time. Further, he bad said that you would never remain secluded
in a home and had perhaps uttered some other words too like these." In
those days, who could ever have the courage to open his mouth before
Ma on a topic of such a nature. So Didi had stopped immediately after
saying this much. A subject like this, then, caused alarm in us, as that led
to a strange change in the physical body of Ma.

What is the indicative of Svarupa of Ma ?

To this question Ma's reply was : who will comprehend unless it is

allowed to be comprehended.

The above stated incident is the Kheyala, as it were, to allow Herself to

be comprehended. Appearing Herself in the form of a yogi from Herself,
it was She who in the context of kriya by that yogi revealed Herself in
the different Svarupas pertaining to different lines of sadhana. The states
which reveal theSvarupa of dhyana, the perfect form of Bhakti
Shradha (devotion and reverence), complete atmasamarpana (self-
surrender), - all these, in fact, were unfolded by the courses of kriya by
that yogi. It was the state of a yogi which unfolded such form of dhyana,
puja, mantra, etc., that led to the revelation of Ma's Svarupa-this is
Mother, pertaining to Visva, transcending Visva as well.
The above statement is in respect of that place from where this revelation
took place. What can be spoken of as beyond a woman and man, it is in
that child only - Himself, He, the Indivisible perfect - THAT alone.

In the form of Her Kriya, She, in this form, in the revelation of a yogi, in
Her own Kheyala, the way in which She allowed Herself to be
comprehended was Ma's play in Svakriya for the first time.

Ma not a Common Child

Can Excessive Fondling through Worldly Affection be Acceptable?

An incident on another day was as follows;

Ma's Thakurma had an aunt* *(This was the same aunt about whom a mention is made later under the sub-
heading 'Is Ma an insignificant child? An aspect of warning in Ma's play.) whose eldest son was

Krishnasundar Bhattacharya. He was thus of the status of a grandfather

for Ma. Once he lifted Ma with love and placed Her on his shoulder in a
jovial playful mood, just as, by way of dressing, a child is made to sit on
one's shoulder. Thereafter, be took Ma in his hands and, for quite some
time, tried to make Her laugh and dance by moving Her up and down on
his palms before throwing up and catching Her back. And, finally,
through further fondling, he made Her stand on his shoulder. Ma too was
probably laughing heartily (as is normal for a child).

Now the child placed Her one foot on the head of the grand-father, and
the other foot She perhaps wanted to put on his arm raised above. All of
a sudden, the grandfather started shouting: "Catch hold of! Catch hold
of! Falling down! Falling down!", and sat down at once on the ground.
Panting hard, he exclaimed: "O Lord, what a girl!"

Saying this, he left Ma near Her mother with a feeling of relief, as it

were. In the process of sitting down on the ground, it was not clear
whether he had said, 'It is falling, it is falling' or 'I am falling, I am
falling'. As to whether it was emotion or fear or weight that had led him
to this state is known only to Him who is concerned here.

This grandfather perhaps never indulged in this kind of fun with Ma

during the rest of his life. All the same, he continued to have this feeling
of affection for Ma fresh in his memory. He really used to look upon Ma
with great love. This is the version of those who had reared Ma with
tender care.
 Child Ma

Is She in tile Bhava of Radha's Viraka (Separation) from Krishna?

Once, with Ma in her arms, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi had gone
to hear songs at a kavigan? (a kind of song tournament). Ma was, then,
about two-and-a-half or three years old, and talked lispingly. The
following stanza was also (heard) there in that kavigan:

(Radha had) gone and appeared at the

Royal court of Shri Krishna,

Alas, like one who is mad

Courting for love only, in pangs, indeed,

Like one who is mad!

After hearing the song and returning home, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari
Devi left Ma in the courtyard.

Sitting, absorbed in Herself under a thicket of banana trees, Ma started

singing the same stanza lispingly. As She continued Her singing, the
flow of tears kept on drenching Her. What did the child understand
which caused such a flow? That kavigan was, indeed, so touching that
many could not resist shedding tears. As for Ma, She was also present
there at that time, and was it due to an identity with their bhava that it
happened as it did or within Herself alone, it was She Herself in the form
of the flow of tears too.

Noticing all this, that grandfather of Ma, Shriyukt Krishnasundar tried to

make Ma laugh through fondling Her. Ma, then, burst into laughter and
continued laughing heartily, but with some bashfulness too, as it were.
The narration mentioned above was heard from the mouth of Shriyukta
Mokshada Sundari Devi herself.

Play in the Context of Bimb-Pratibimb (Source and its Reflection) -

Herself Absorbed in Herself with Herself.

Once, when Ma was a tiny girl, Her mother asked Her: "Go to the tank-
ghat, wash your face and come back." Sitting on the ghat, Ma fixed Her
gaze at water with one-pointed attention, without caring to put Her hand
in it. Looking at Her own reflection Herself in water, She kept on
playing by making gestures with Her bands and feet, and through facial
distortion. She, then, began pointing out something with Her finger and
muttering something too, both of which were unintelligible. Was it with
Her reflection that She was having this conversation, gesticulation,
laughter and all the rest through movement of hand and finger?

Again, on Her own, She exclaimed: "There is the sky, look, look!" In
this way, it went on for quite some time. Meanwhile, that grandfather,
Krishnasundar, standing at a little distance behind Ma, kept on listening
and watching all this. Perhaps he had felt concerned with the thought
that She, a small girl, had gone in front of him to the ghat empty handed,
and it was quite late too. So he had come to the ghat to find out what the
matter was, and noticing Ma like' that, had perhaps led him to remain
standing there so long. Later, he exclaimed: "What are you doing sitting
there? Couldn't you finish washing your face yet?"

Ma replied: "Oh look, look, there is the sky!"

After saying this, She washed Her face and returned.

Yes, She had come to wash Her face, but became absorbed with Herself
in Herself. We all, that are here, surely belong to Her alone. It is She
who is playing with Herself. Isn't that so?

Is Ma an Insignificant Child?

An Aspect of Warning in Ma's Play.

We have heard that very soon after Ma's advent in our midst, as we see
it, the aunt of Ma's Thakurma (the mother of Krishnasundar, mentioned
earlier) had remained alone in that room (the lying-in chamber). Ma used
to call this aunt Bada Ma (senior mother). She had a few cows that
yielded a good quantity of milk which was churned daily to get
buttermilk (after converting the milk into dahi i.e. (yoghurt).

When Ma was a small child, that is, during the days when She went
about without clothes, She used to visit her (Bada Ma's) house early in
the morning, while holding a vessel pressed over Her belly. Her house
too was contiguous to that of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya (Ma's
father). When buttermilk would become available (after necessary
churning for butter), she would call Ma first and give Her a little butter
and some buttermilk. She loved Ma very much. At that time Ma was
very healthy with a stout physique and some people jokingly called Her
a chalkumra (a kind of pumpkin).

One day Ma, holding (as usual) the vessel on Her belly and moving it to
and fro, had gone leisurely for buttermilk. However, the moment Bada
Ma saw Her, she exclaimed: "Just now I have started making buttermilk
and here She has already arrived in advance to get it. You take
buttermilk daily; now, it won't be given to you anymore, go away." She
had spoken this in an annoyed vein. Just then she noticed that her
churning pot had developed a hole and the yoghurt in the pot had started
leaking away.

(On this) she exclaimed with surprise:

'What is this development now!' No buttermilk could be had that day.

She, then, called Ma and gave Her something quickly out of the
remnants in the pot.

Ever since this incident took place, even if Ma was late in coming. Bada
Ma would call Her and give buttermilk. Some among the descendants
of Bada Maare still living today.

They cherish great reverence for Ma.

A Form of Obedience to Mother's Order-Ma in the Form

of Bhava of Kirtan?

When Ma was about two and a half years old, She was once taken to
her maternal uncle's house.

One night there was kirtan in the neighbouring house.

Taking Ma in arms, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi went there and

seating Ma in one place, told Her: "There is kirtan, see and listen." Ma
had once said that whatever the parents asked Her to do, She carried cut
the same, as much as it was in Her Kheyala. Verily, even at such a small
age, that day, perhaps in obedience to the bidding of Her mother, Ma
was looking at the kirtan being performed and listening too, but now and
then Her body appeared to be drooping in a peculiar way, lacking
balance.
 The mother had asked Her to listen to the kirtan; the rise of bhava that
occurs when kirtan is heard in the real sense-perhaps it was this which
was taking place. Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi noticed that Ma
was drooping.

So she repeatedly made Ma sit up by shaking Her again and again, while
remonstrating: "All the boys and girls are remaining seated, only this one
is in such a state! There is such loud singing and so much sound being
produced due to playing on khol (tom-tom) and cymbals, but how this
one is in this peculiar way indeed!"

Here, in fact, however, Ma�s body remained lacking steadiness, may

be in a state in identity with the sound of the Name, etc., pertaining
to kirtan. Afterkirtan was over, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi
returned home and made Ma lie down on the bed. Next day in the
morning, when she tried to awaken Ma by calling Her, the latter still
appeared in a somewhat drowsy state. She had certainly not sat up till
late at night; what, then, had caused such a state, she wondered. Quite a
long time elapsed in the same condition. As this was not due to keeping
awake at night, she concluded that it was due to some other cause.

Attraction of Kirtan �

An Aspect of Exuberance in Child Ma.

In village Kheora, on New Year's Day or some other special days, or

when there was any outbreak of an epidemic, the villagers used to collect
in the morning and evening, and move out in nagar-kirtan (kirtan in a
procession along the streets of a town). In Her very child-hood, Ma
would, at the sight of or on listening to such kirtan, have an ecstatic urge
to run up to such a procession and move along with it.

With great joy and exultation, She would entreat Her mother "Mother, I
just go, may I ?" So saying, She would want to run away, as it were. She
would then go up to the kirtan party and be back to Her mother the next
moment running hither and thither, as if in a peculiar state of
restlessness. Noticing such abnormalities in Ma occasionally, Her
mother would remark : "This girl, of what sort is She?" Of course, she
would not allow Ma to go. From Her very childhood, She was forbidden
to move out with boys to any place. Even after the kirtan party would
leave, it was noticed that for quite sonic time Ma would remain silent,
grave and very calm.
 At that time it was also customary in every village in East Bengal (now
Bangladesh), that in the twilight of early morning, the Vaishnavas,
playing on tun tuni(a kind of small cymbal) and tambourine, would sing
the name of the Lord at the doors of householders. They used to sing the
following type of songs:

Wake up!

Oh residents of Vrindaban,

Saying glory to Radha,

Shri Radha,

It is already dawn.

Rising up graceful Radha

Looks towards the road,

Which way has gone

My Shyam Sundar Rai?

Oh residents of Vrindaban, get up!

Rama is awake, Sita is awake

And awake is Lakshman,

Dasarath, Kaushalya are awake,

Also Bharat, Shatrughna,

Wake up, Oh residents of Vtindaban!

Ganesh is awake, Kartik is awake,

And Lakshmi, Saraswati.

In Kailash, Shankar is awake,

And awake is Parvati,

 Oh residents of Vrindaban, get up!

On those days, when at dawn they used to sing various bhajans,

kirtan and songs at the doors of particular householders, they visited
again those houses later in the morning on the same day, and singing
beautiful songs about Balarama, Radha-Krishna, Goshtha Giti (songs
connected with the pastoral sports of Krishna), songs related to
Mahaprabhu, Mahamantra and various other such songs, collected alms
from them. Thus it gave an opportunity to the villagers also to hear the
name of the Lord and provided an aid as well to those Vaishnavas in
earning their livelihood.

On such occasions, Ma would be disinclined, as it were, to withdraw

from that place. She would appear abnormal. In fact, it was difficult to
make Her even shift from there. While listening to those songs, Ma's
features too would appear as if somewhat different, in full divine
fervour.

In the village, it was a prevalent custom that the ladies would assemble
and sing together on occasions of worship of various gods and
goddesses, during an investiture of the sacred thread, a marriage
ceremony, etc. Those songs could be about Krishna or Rama, Sita or
Durga-Kali, Kartik, Ganesh, Lakshmi, etc. Whatever the song was, on
the occasion of worship of a particular god or goddess, Ma would surely
be in that same mode, and it was not easy to make Her move from there.
All the same, remaining obedient, through Her own Kheyala, the
carrying out of the orders of Her mother was positively there.

Attraction in the Context of Prayer to Bhagavan �

The Form of Kriya of Ma.

Once, during Ma's childhood, two European ladies, while engaged in

door-to-door preaching of Christianity, some also to the house of Ma's
maternal uncle at Sultanpur. Deeply engrossed, Ma (who was then there)
kept following them as well. Through songs and discourses, they
explained to all, the doctrines of Christian faith. Entreating Shriyukta
Mokshada Sundari Devi---f course, Ma was not concerned with this or
that religion, it was talk about Bhagavan alone that counted with Her -
Ma said: "Mother, may I buy a copy of the book on their religion, priced
one pice only? On this, she purchased the book and gave it to Ma.
She certainly could not properly read too; perhaps She managed to read
one or two words and after that who cared to read further! How far it
was intelligible to the little girl is known only to Ma, but She did remain
absorbed in it.

They had pitched their tent outside the village.

What happened to Ma!

On that very day in the evening, She went over to their tent running. We
do not know for what purpose She had gone (there) at that hour, which,
indeed, was their prayer time. Going quickly, Ma had returned quickly
too. Perhaps they could not even notice Ma. Meanwhile it was getting a
little dark when She returned home. That day nobody took Ma to any
task too, although it was a standing rule that everyone without exception
should positively be present in one's house before dusk. On Her part, Ma
too did not tell anything about this matter to anyone.

In this context, it was heard from Ma's mouth at some later period that
the camp of the missionaries lay on the out-skirts of the village in a field
quite far off, on the bank of a canal and a lake, where it was impossible
to go and come back within such a short time. (About) the pattern of
Ma's movement, did Her feet touch the ground or not?

She possibly moved flying, as it were. What type of movement it was,

Ma only knows. On Her way, there lay grass and thorns, but such was
the pattern of movement that even on touching them, they touched Her
not-a strange sort of wavy movement in the air. On the basis of the
narration as heard, we asked Ma, 'What was the significance of this
movement?"

Ma: " There they made prayer, the same prayer was also in the form of
this kriya.

Whenever it happens to be in Her kheyaIa to do something, then no

obstacle arises in the performance of such action and She sees to it that it
is positively done. At that time, in the dusky twilight, this very small girl
returned home, running on a route through a rural jungle and nobody
could get a scent of it, as it were, nor did anyone even ask Her anything.
Here were strange newly-arrived European ladies, and in going after
them at dusk, She could have taken fright as well, so natural for a child,
but nothing of that sort happened.
 They had come (dealing) with religious objects and that is what
concerned Ma.

They too were like constant friends, dear members of the family. Where
was then (the question of) obedience! When it was in Her
specific Kheyala, did the binding of obedience hold good in this case? At
other times, again, such binding was there, but where can there be a
binding which is free of binding * is it not clear?
*A binding accepted in Her own Kheyala is a binding in Her freedom that is,

binding or no binding it is in the same freedom.

Who is Hari?

Child Ma's Query: basis of Play of sadhana in future.

At that time in the villages, there was no sign of any practice of holding
devotional group meetings or having discourses or talks by
Mahatmas and the like. Occasionally, there was held
a Harisabha (assembly for talk on Han), performance of kirtan, etc., or
reading from the Ramayana, the Mahabharat, Padma Puran and the
like. Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya, of course, did
ardently do bhajan, kirtan, etc., with the name of Han during the last
part of every night.

When Ma was five years old, one day after dusk, sitting by Her father
and hearing him singing, She enquired: "Father, please listen (and tell
me), this Hariwhose name you sing, who is this Hari? In reply, he
said "Han is the name of Shri Bhagavan."

Ma: All right, what happens by taking His name?

B. B. Mahasaya: He appears when invoked.

Ma : What does He do after appearing?

B. B. Mahasaya: If I am in need of you and then call you, you turn up; in
the same way, He too makes His appearance. When one invokes Him
and submits to Him any desire one has with a sincere heart, He fulfils it.
Just as, when we call you and say, 'See, you get this work done for me,'
you do the same; exactly, in the same manner, whoever asks Him for
anything, He grants it. As soon as He is invoked, Be will appear without
fail. He performs so many other like acts.

Ma: Will He appear just on calling, 'Hari, Hari?

B.B. Mahasaya: Yes.

Ma: How big is He?

B.B. Mahasaya: Very big.

Ma : There is the field, will He be contained in it?

B. B. Mahasaya : No, He makes His appearance when called as Hari,

Hari. You will then see how big He is, who He is and how beautiful!

A clue by indication provided by father in his own way for the revelation
of THAT- this is what we may conclude positively.

From the conversation between father and daughter recorded above, does
it not occur in our mind that, in reply, Ma got spoken from the mouth of
Her father that Tattwa, which is beyond speech and mind.

Because of the fact that the Mahapurna (super-

full), Akhanda (Undivided Whole) Itself will Himself play with Himself,
so here is the vastness of all forms, no form Itself, where beyond and not
beyond does not come within the domain of talk certainly, this is what
we should accept here. Through plain and simple words from the mouth
of the form of a five year old child, what an extra-ordinary and serious
question it was and the reply from the father too-this aspect also has
been granted to us.

In order to initiate the play of sadhana with Herself in Her

own Kheyala in future, here is Ma in an environment created by Herself
only.

The child-Mother asked Her father : Who is Hari? Father replies: You
do His Nam, you will know only when He appears.

This word about Hari that Ma got out of father's mouth, this, in fact, was
the basis of Ma's play of sadhana in future. What was made to be spoken
through the mouth of father, this too is in the context of
Ma's Svakriya. That is She Herself was the question and She Herself the
answer.

In succeeding volumes we shall observe how splendid and of what a vast

form this play of sadhana was, and in connection with this play, an
indication of Ma's own Svarupa was unfold in the form of
each kriya, state and completion of sadhana. This is Ma's play
of Svamool, where exist mools of allsadhanas. Abadh is that play of Ma
with any mool at any time.

In and Out tile Same One Tattwa �

Child Ma's Joyful Exultation

During Ma�s childhood, one night at Kheora, there was a storm, due
to which the house shook, the thatching blew away and everyone became
frightened. But Ma started clapping Her hands exultantly while shouting:
"The chan (a kind of hay in the thatching) has blown away, the chan of
the thatching has blown away!" The next day in the evening, when it
grew dark, Ma began jumping and clapping with bubbling laughter.
After pointing to the opening in the roof and' addressing Her mother, She
exclaimed, as if with Her entire body:

"Look, look, mother, how beautiful!

The stars can be seen while sitting in the room itself! There is no need to
go out-in and out are one and the same!"

(On this) Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi remarked: "Whatever you

are, your words too are exactly like that-just like the joy of a lunatic on
the killing of a cow." Afterwards, it so happened that both the roofs of
the house on both sides rolled down to the ground. That which is to blow
away, that which is to fall, melt or burn away, will end up exactly in that
way- --where this is so, in the angle of vision. But where there is no
question of drishti-srishti, there it is the One, THAT only-the Self. This
is what we have been hearing. Was it a hint towards that only -only the
One alone-which was conveyed by the clapping of hands?

Noticing Ma's occasional simple and listless mood, everyone, indeed,

took Her to be an insipid simpleton. Some of them called Her insensitive
and wondered if this one had not inherited a little of the simple nature
too of Her Thakurma.
 They thought that if all this were not overcome, then God knows what
may, befall Her after marriage.

In connection with the play too in child-like exultation' in Ananda, and

in this kriya also there is a display of indication pertaining to the truth of
oneness. In and out are just one-in the example 'of identification
of ghatakash (the 'void in a pot) with Mahakash (the great void)-
implying identification of jiva-atmaand Paramatma, there was that
exultation in Ananda of Ma.

Where there is perception-creation, that is; ephemeral view sustained by

creation, sustenance and dissolution, there itself is transitory kriya, such
as construction and destruction. Implying this fact, Ma is saying: what
has to away, fall down, what has to be burnt away, melt-away,' that does
happen in the context of appropriate place.

In Svarupa, there is no such question-the One THAT alone.

This is what has to be realized by jiva, his own self revealing in the Self.

This is the significance of Ma's clapping of hands, being elated with joy.

Child Ma - Joy to Parents.

During cold and hot weather, in sun and rain, Ma could hardly be over
powered (by weather conditions). It was seldom that She was taken ill.
She would play with great joy running about in the rain. Shriyukta
Mokshada' Sundari Devi would remark,

"It seems that this one cannot be subdued in any way indeed!"

Observing the various sorts of strange modes' of Ma on many an

occasion, both father and mother, despite the manifold troubles and
tribulations that are generally there from the worldly point of view,
surely had, all the same, their little smile of joy undiminished.
Durga Puja: Manifestation of Bhava in Child Ma's Body -

A Question by Youngest Maternal Uncle

Once, on a Durga Puja festival, there was an occasion for Ma to visit Her maternal uncle's home
when She was six or seven years old. One day, while watching the puja being performed, a
 strange bhava was noticed in the physical form of Ma, and in that state of exultation within
Herself, She kept moving about on Her own. In the context of this incident, we heard that when
there was anything like this in Ma's body, some indistinct utterances would start issuing from Her
mouth. Ma's youngest maternal uncle kept on observing this for a long time. Afterwards, speaking
forthwith, he asked Ma:

"Eh, what were you saying, muttering in this way ? Do repeat it to me."

Ma became completely speechless, as if She were a stone and in a serious mood remained
standing in a state of bewilderment. It was as if She could not follow what was enquired from Her
at that time. Just as there was deep serenity and gravity in Ma, indeed, so also, there was a climax
of restlessness taking place simultaneously.

It was this youngest maternal uncle of Ma who looked upon Her with an uncommon inner feeling.
We have already written in detail on this During the festival of Durga Puja,he would look upon
Ma as Kumari* and worship Her first of all during Kumari Puja (the ceremony of
worshipping Kumaries). He would offer Her saris of best quality, etc., and feed Her in the same
spirit. Some others too, during Ma�s presence, would, in a similar way, find much gratification
in feeding Her as Kumari.

Everyone whosoever, without any distinction of caste and class, who

happened to look at Ma, could not as if resist fondling Her the moment
there was a suitable opportunity to do so. In fact, Ma would attract the
attention of many indeed!

Vigraha - Lila and Tattwa.

At the age of seven or eight, and in the company of Bada Ma, Ma once
visited Shiva Badi (temple of Shiva at Chandla). For a while Bada
Ma kept Ma seated under a banyan tree. The hair from the first shaving
of the heads of children, vowed as an offering to the deity, used to be left
under that tree by people coming from different villages. For this reason,
a heap had formed of such accumulated hair.

While sitting there, one Thakurghar came into Ma�s view, but there
was no Vigraha in it. All the same, there was a tank nearby, and as soon
as Ma turned Her eyes towards the tank, She noticed a Shivalinga of
stone diving at one time, floating at the next, then jumping out while
surging up from water and diving again.

Also, very near Ma, Shiva Durga vigraha, moulded out of moon as it
were, flashed for a moment in that form only.

Ma said,

"There were more facts in this context,

 �but whatever little may be spoken at any time."

All the same, after sometime when Ma went to the Thakurghar, She saw
the Shivalinga again also there. On returning home, in course of a talk,
when Ma narrated some facts of what had come to Her view, others
remarked that they had always seen the Shivalinga in
the Thakurghar only.

It was heard-such was the traditional report--that this Shivalinga did not
always stay in the Thakurghar, but roamed about in the tank and jungles.
When people went down in the tank for taking a bath,
that Shivalinga would mount on the palm of someone, but immediately
again would roll away and dive into the water.

This particular rolling away did come into one's view.

Again, when sometimes, someones eagerly tried to touch it, then, at that
time, he would possibly fail to find it. It would disappear in water. At
some other time, again, it would be seen seated in the room
and puja being offered. That room, the flooring of which was of earth,
and the roof and walls of corrugated tinned iron sheets, always had an
opening in one corner.

Ma and Mango Tree - Giving and Taking.

It was a usage in villages that at Vaisakhi Puja (worship performed in

the Indian month of Vaishakh i.e., April-May), everyone offered ripe
mangoes of the season, first to the family deity. One day Ma enquired of
Her mother,

"Mother, Vaisakhi Puja is taking place and you too are performing it, but
you have offered an unripe mango in the puja. Where is the ripe one for
us?"

She replied "Have we got a mango garden, where, in one tree or the
other, at least one full or half-ripe mango could surely be available? So
we shall perform puja by offering an unripe mango. There is no need for
a ripe mango for us. One performs puja with what one has and according
to one's capacity."

Outside, there were some mango trees in the gardens of other people.
But Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi's instructions were that fruits
 were never to be brought (home) after plucking them from these trees;
they could, however, be picked up if they were found lying on the
ground under them. This was not prohibited according to an established
practice in the villages. The instruction too was scrupulously observed
by Ma. Lest a branch of a tree bent down when laden with fruits, might
come into contact with Ma's body and the fruit may be touched, Ma
would maintain a distance from such branches while proceeding on foot.
Obeying an instruction meant obeying it fully.

While going to the ghat of the tank, Ma had noticed earlier that very high
up in a tree, one mango had ripened and turned red. It came to
Ma's Kheyala that if it had dropped, it could be offered in puja. And,
indeed, Ma had the habit of conversing with trees. We do not know how
things happened and in what way, but when Ma went to the foot of that
three that day at that time, She found the same mango lying on the
ground. When carried and given to Her other, the latter questioned: "You
have not brought it after plucking jt, have you ?" On being told as to how
it was got, she smiled a little at the words of the small girl and offered
the mango in puja.

Ma told Her mother: "As you give me, so also does the tree; the tree too
gives in the same way as you do, is it not so mother? Surely, it can also
give like you, no matter even if it remains. standing at on place."

On this, laughing in her sleeves a little, she commented: "Is the tree a
friend of yours that it will give you? Look at this girl talking like a
pundit. Of course, paternal and maternal families ate of pundits; how can
She escape the family cultural heritage?"

That Ma speaks only the truth, was undoubtedly in the knowledge of

Mokshada Sundari Devi. In matters relating to religion, (as during)
a vrata (religious observance), puja, kirtan, and when there ere vrala
kathas (stories narrating glories pertaining to the deity at he end of
a vrata) or reading of religious books, an expression of cheerful
enthusiasm and ananda would be noticed much in the physical body of
Ma.

On a later occasion, after a considerable lapse of time, when once Ma

bad been to Kishenpore* two mangoes were brought from (a tree in)
Kalyanvan* and shown to Her.
*( Kishenpore is a part of Dehra Dun town (U.P.),
 situated on its outskirts. In this area, there are two ashrams of Ma,

one known as Kishenpore Ashram and the other Kalyanvan.

The latter is meant exclusively for sadhana of ashram mahatmas.)

On seeing (them), Ma had remarked:

"These two mangoes too have almost the same colour and similar pattern
(as that of the mango mentioned above). One of them had such a
distinctive mark that it could be picked out even when mixed in a heap
of mangoes. We took a photo of the same. Both the mangoes were
carefully stored on the first floor. After that none of them could be
traced. However, after a considerable search, some one informed that he
had noticed one of the mangoes on the ground floor. That mango was
brought, cut into slices and distributed, a piece each, as prasad. It was
proposed to preserve its stone. But, afterwards, that stone too could not
be traced at all. About the other one, who took it away or ate it tip or
what actually happened to it, none could say.

After three or four years, while looking for this particular mango tree at
Kalyanvan, it was observed that perhaps gornata (cow looked upon as
mother, go : cow, mata : mother) used to be tied to it. After giving shade
for sometime, it met with what was destined for it-only the roots were
seen as a mark of its remnants.

Poverty as Yibhuti (Glory):

in Abhava (want),

Svabhava (Normal condition) in All Bhavas, the Same ever

in Ananda and Exultation.

In the small village of Kheora, most of the villagers were not used to
buying vegetables, as a regular practice, from the bazaar. (They
depended on) whatever could be grown within their premises; in fact,
they did manage to produce some vegetables in their residential lands.
But the land of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya around his
house was so barren, and mostly sandy, that there could hardly be any
possibility of producing vegetables and the like too that were
worthwhile. it was this sand where Ma used to play with great delight.
She would thrust Her fingers in the sand and heap it up in one place.
 The sand was of fine texture, shining white, and Ma would tell
cheerfully, and in exultation to the neighbours that the kind of shining
white sand which was there was not available in the land belonging to
any other house. As if with sense of pride, She would remark: "Look,
how granular the sand is; it does not soil the hand too."

At the end of play, She would shake off the sand by clapping Her bands,
and go home jumping and leaping.

While we were reading this narration, Gurupriya Didi too was present.

In a lighter vein, she had, the, remarked: "Ma, we can see that while, you
were with your parents, your great grace was, indeed, there, in their way
of earning livelihood!"

In reply, Ma too said with a smile: "Why, at home curries were prepared
out of bharali (inside stem of a' plantain tree) and thor (plantain flower).
Friedneem leaves were there, and also a preparation of neem leaves and
pieces of brinjal fried together. Leaves of coriander of foreign and
Indian variety, reduced to a wet pulp and taken with rice, and items of
like nature all these were prepared sometimes.

Surely, we had taken plenty of such items cooked by mother.

Moreover, among fruits, we had kavrikela, avrikela, bichakela,

chinichampakela (all varieties of plantain: kela means plantain) and
pineapple too, in small number; although now and then, they were left,
as prasad (that is partially eaten) by porcupine friends And clinging to a
mango tree, there was a big guava tree which bore a variety of small
guava. A few mango trees were also there.

Again, there as a very big jackfruit tree, but it never bore any fruit. After
I had joined the family of Bholanath, it had perhaps produced fruits
once." We all, then, laughed again and said that in that case, in-. deed,
there was no limit to, the bestowal of grace.

Ma: Why, all these fruits, etc., too were now and then offered to the
deity and taken as prasad as well.

We have heard, further, that such spices as ginger, green turmeric,

coriander seed, aniseed, randhuni (a variety of parsley) etc., were
produced at home and sometimes used in preparing bhoga for the deity.
Uluchan (a variety of fine grass) for thatching the dwelling house grew
there itself. The rustling caused by the swaying of bamboo (growing
around the house) resonated through the house. Plants producing a kind
of cane grew in the environs of the house, and their top ends were eaten
after being boiled with rice, etc.

Although these cane plants were full of thorns, the latter were cut clean
and after eliminating the tender pulp, were used for fastening en
enclosures serving as walls o the house and tying the thatched roof and
making it secure. Such enclosures and doors were made exclusively of
bamboos, and self-woven coarse mats, also of bamboo only, were
sometimes made use of. The flute too, secure in the hands of Sri Krishna,
while touching his lips, is made of a particular variety of bamboo, and
this variety was also here. Various other articles too were made of this
quality of bamboo. Even the dish used when eating parched paddy, fried
rice, flattened rice, etc., was only one particular variety among various
such patterns of containers made of this bamboo'.

The artkle pertaining to this created world too, bearing the greatness of
various aspects pertaining to the Supreme Objective were collected and
during this time, while remaining in the environment of such articles that
had been prepared at home in a spirit of reverence for use, there was this
girl in the form ofkriya.

A portrayal of utter poverty is the background of the environment in

which Ma is seen in Her childhood. She resides in a small simple house,
the food comprises simple pot-herbs, vegetables, little fruits, etc. mostly
grown in the residential land itself.

In the construction of Her dwelling place, bamboo, uluchan, cane, etc.,

all available from their own land were used. Mats in use at home were
also woven from strips of these bamboos which included also the special
variety from which flutes could be made, bringing into memory the flute
in the hand of Shri Krishna.

A number of different vessels for taking breakfast were also made out of
these bamboo strips.

In Ma's words: "Food stuff grown at home materials made at home itself
- all such articles of this created world have the greatness related to
aspects and ways pertaining to the Supreme Objective. That is, in the
journey leading to the revelation of Svarupa, the traveller must abide by
 particular disciplines in respect of his food, materials used, etc., as all
this helps to awaken pure bhava. It is essential that there should not be
the least indulgence in respect of objects of sensual pleasure, as such
abstinence is an aid to free oneself from worldly desires, thereby opening
a natural way towards the goal. These materials, as referred to here,
having innate potentiality to awaken satvick bhava in the environment
sustained by purity and truth had been available there in the normal
course.

Thus, in the environment of materials created by itself and offered with

reverence for use, was this child Ma in the form of Her kriyas.

It was through Ma's Kheyala only that this environment manifested and
in respect of all kriyas of M here, is She only in the form of
those kriyas, depicting by itself the way of living that makes natural
unfoldment of spiritual stages which culminate in the realization of the
Self revealing as everything in the forms ofkriyas of sadhana, etc.

The ancestral homestead of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya was at

Vidyakut, and Holi, Durga Puja festival, and also a succession of other
festivals used to be held there all the twelve months of the year. Thy had
agricultural and untenanted land too.

Well off Brahmin sisya and sisyas of other castes holding high positions
were there. No doubt, we have heard about all this. But the joy in
picking pot-herb in the company of Thakurma, seeing stars while sitting
in the room itself after the thatching had blown away, making the house
and the outside indistinguishably one, there was joy in all this too; and,
then, to roam about, in great Ananda, putting on torn clothes, the dress
reflecting utter destitution-in want, in normal state, in fact, in all states
the same oneness, was ever there. Was it because such facts as these
could be brought to light, that you created this state of penury in the
environment of Kheora? All this, indeed, is but your play and perhaps
just to have such a pastime in sustained joy and exultation under all
conditions, that this particular type of environment was created at that
time.

From all this, indeed, it occurs in my mind that the entire surroundings
here are of a rshi-Ashram, and again, to look upon these as verily
the Lila-Khela(divine play) created through volition of Bhagavan, where
many forms are of the One, and those many abide in the One only. At
 the same time that One is in all, pervading all, which, undoubtedly, we
have been hearing all along.
Right now (before us), our direct experience of the stream of appearances (of Ma) is the testimony
that the forms are of tat only in all cases. On the other hand, anything or any aspect that is
unfolded before us - in these worldly dealings, there is unworldly in fact, these 'who' are of the
only One (that which) is appropriate at a particular place.

However, in all states, it is the One, THAT alone.

Since it is THAT only, with it, Ma is the same Prasanna Svarupa (serene, cheerful,
disposition Itself.)

Surely, we must take this fact into account.

This Svarupa is only to be realized; where, then, is the possibility of catching and
comprehending it (objectively)?

It awakens in my heart that all these kriya in this environment, at this time are a solemn in
song wreathed in the background, both in adverse and propitious conditions.

Here is child Ma in the environment of extreme poverty.

However, in whatever circumstances She might bin a broken dwelling

place, wearing torn soiled clothes, with simple food - identifying Herself
with any condition, She is, under all conditions, ever in Ananda, elated
with joy.

While investigating the reason for this, one way of looking at it is the
tradition of rishi ashram. Besides, the diverse forms pertain to the One
only, many abiding in the One alone. That is, whatever may be the
condition, Ma is, indeed, ever in that one form. Therefore, the external
forms of that Svarupa-Ananda are diverse kriyas and dealings. Adversity
and favourableness, due to circumstances, are Her own external
expressions-it is She indeed. Here misery and want, due to any
extraneous influence - this question does not arise.

Various forms of divisions and distinctiveness are, with the touch of the
One, unfoldments in the form of modes of play of the One. So long as
this truth remains un-revealed, till then persist the worldly concerns,
attachments, aversions, conflicts, leading to the dukha (misery) of
coming and going (birth and death).

It is Bhagavan who is both joy and misery, in all forms and form-less as
well.
That we may remain devoted, aiming at this in our journey-is it not this
end that those plays of Ma are meant for?

Ma says: "In samsar (world), where considering sam (change) as sar

(permanent), that is, unreal for the real,

one ever remains oscillating,

being subject to kriya, sustaining favourableness, adversity, misery and

conflict.

But behind this unreal form of the world full of misery, there is the
harmonious play of Nitya-Svarupa (eternal Reality) in each form, and
this indeed is the �solemn song wreathed (as a garland) in the
background�.

There is that Supreme Ultimate Ananda-Svarupa-Tattwa, beyond mind

and speech, in all forms �

THAT alone.

Again, it is He in the manifested kriya pertaining to the world in the

form of favourableness and adversity as well."

That is why in all conditions, there is an unswerving cheerfulness itself

in Ma. This is what has to be unfolded to us in the context of the
environment of penury pertaining to Ma.

Playing with Sand.

Manifest, Unmanifest, Indeed All in that Small Mound.

One day Ma was making, at one place, a circular heap of sand by

digging and turning it up with Her hands. Her mother (came up) and
enquired: "You have been in the sand so long, exposed to the sun, and
are perspiring with a red face. There is sand all over your body and head.
What is it that you are making with the sand?"

Ma replied: "There is the Salagram Thakur in

the Thakurghar, spherical in shape and present in it are Krishna
Thakur, Radha Govinda, Rama Narayana and all such Thakurs
so you were telling, were you not mother?
 Now, in this heap of sand too, are present all those Thakurs in
the Thakurghar, and there are in it (the heap of sand) still
more Thakurs,innumerable as they 'are."

The girl conveyed, through the tone of these words, we do not know
what all ideas in a strange manner, while looking at Her mother's eyes
and keeping on smiling, waving to and fro, with Her one band resting on
the ground and the other raised above, twisting Her body as She
remained seated, revolving the raised hand and moving Her head and
mouth.

It was, as if, in this very small heap of sand nothing whatever was
excluded that is what, we think, She was making (Her mother)
understand.

Within Visva Brahmanda and beyond

whatever exists at any place or does not exist, Thakur, Devata, etc., in
fact,

all that is manifest, unmanifest as well (are in this small heap of sand) -
and, indeed, was not this that was hinted at through these words (of Ma).

Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi perhaps remaining thoughtful over

what was conveyed by those words, quickly went to the kitchen and
calling Ma from there bade Her: "Do not remain anymore in the sun,
come inside the house."

When Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi gave this instruction, she

observed, while peeping, that Ma, looking this way and that and
laughing heartily on Her own, had got Herself nicely seated on that heap
(of sand) as a cushion.

Razing that heap almost to the ground, She stood up and picking up
a little sand in Her hand, sprinkled it above Herself and on Her head
too, and then quickly ran to Her mother jumping and dancing on
both the feet, as if a sustained wave of joy, pulsating from head to
foot, was always there. Where did this pattern of dancing and its
rhythm originate from, Her mother wondered!

Play with Flowers - In the Form of Flowers.

In Her play with flowers, etc., how many diverse patterns were there (in
the play) even with flowers. Sometimes Ma would take a flower in Her
hand, and as She would stretch Her hand above Her head as far as She
could, She would keep on observing it all the time. And then She would
touch Her cheeks, mouth, nose, forehead and head (with the flower).
Making a braid of nandadulat flowers, She would give it the round
shape of a bangle. Putting it, may be on the nose sometimes, round the
ear at another time or just on the head, She would dance a while.

Mokshada Sundari Devi had taught Ma the technique of making a

wreath by inter-weaving nandadulal flowers. From then onwards, Ma
began making such plaits and playing with them. Again, as if muttering,
what a long talk She would have with flowers while making signs with
hands, nodding and moving mouth and eyes. Afterwards, collecting all
the flowers in Her hands and throwing them all up, She would walk
away in a serious mood.

After so much fondling, in such intimacy, of the bunch of flowers, there

would be, as if, no connection at all (with them)! Sometimes someone
would happen to see all this too. When aware of it, Ma would burst into
loud laughter.

Even while standing, or sitting as well, once the play was over, Ma
would, after tearing and casting away everything, and abandoning it all,
turn a quiet girl and make Her way homeward. What is novel in all such
stories? Now too we see that when Ma continues to stay in a particular
place, it takes on the appearance of a thoroughly delightful festive
congregation. We become full of expectation that perhaps the rest of our
life will pass in this very manner. But, in a trice, the festive congregation
vanishes, and then no one belongs to anyone.

Play of Drawing a Circle - Her own Drawing,

Her Steadiness, Dancing as well

There were still several other kinds of play of Ma.

(For instance), with the heel as centre and the middle part of the foot
raised and curved inwards, She would, by turning round, draw at a
stretch a uniform and unbroken circular line with Her big toe. After
joining the ends of the circular line through that single turning itself, She
would stand still there. Then, revolving round and round, She would
 keep on dancing. Again, sometime, stretching out both Her arms, She
would continue whirling round in the same style; also, leaning as well,
once on the right, and then on the left. At that time if Shriyukta
Mokshada Sundari Devi happened to notice this, she would warn,
exclaiming: "Hey, you will fall down, don't do all such things!" Ma
would, then, stop moving, and clapping with raised hands, would run to
Her mother leaping and jumping. Whatever Her bidding, Ma would
carry it out to the letter; this, too, was noticed in Ma.

While drawing the circular line, the other foot of Ma remained (aloof) in
the air only and did not touch the ground. Observing all these different
ways (of Ma), sometimes there was an expression of fear too in
Mokshada Sundari Devi. At that time, she would say: "Don't know what
all this girl does; of what kind She is-like a - silly simpleton
too; Bhagavan will look after Her in His own way!"

Neighbours, too, there were hardly in any considerable number. On rare

occasions, some girls of Ma's age-group, from the Eastern or any other
quarter, came and took part in the play of drawing the circular line.
Among them, perhaps one could complete half of it, some possibly a
part, while others attempted to draw the same walking slowly with the
help of the other foot. Sometimes the ends did not join well at all.
Someone perhaps even sat down after standing. All fins failed to get that
unbroken circle through a single rotation. In the play of children, such
was he distinctive feature even when Ma was playing in the sand.

Ma, though a small child, was, in fact, even in that play, not at all with
anyone, though remaining in the midst of all, like white sand which is
shaken off and thrown away. (Of) the unbroken circle, was She not
Herself, indeed, that Akhand Bindu* itself at its centre?

She Herself was the drawing,

Herself, again, in the stationary state,

and Herself in the state of dancing as well.

That is, whatever it is, it is She with Herself,

revealing only Herself in Herself, even in all such physical postures in

the play.
 In fact, this is what is being conveyed at all times.

Indeed, Ma would sometimes say:

"When this body was (for the first time) in the presence of you all
(i.e., born), as it was then, indeed, so also it is now (i.e., the same)." *
*(Ma pointedly declares here Her Reality as the only One without any change,

transcending time, space and causality. There is, thus, no question of birth and death,

and all states as they appear to us, in Ma's life movements (including birth and death)

are nothing but the One appearing as the many in those forms.)

So, even in this play too, She was in that undifferentiated wholeness of
Her own-this, indeed, is what coins to our mind. A childlike play, as we
see it, it is the same which She is playing, but in the pattern of Her own
undifferentiated wholeness. Till today, whatever is taking place
anywhere, indeed in all, there is the same pattern of Hers - She Herself,
so we think.

Ma, or course, always says when you got this body first, what it was
then, the same, indeed, it is now also Here is that One Tattwa, where
there is no question of a second. In such a case, what is
the Svarupa of kriyas pertaining to plays, etc., and dealings?

Movements, rising, sitting, jumping, running -

diverse kriyas, diverse bhavas and diverse movements of the body, and
yet the person remains that same one. This is a gross analogy to
comprehend Ma in the mind also as much as it is possible-the pattern is
Hers only, the steadiness is Hers alone, dancing as well.

The Indivisible is ever indivisible.

Even in every entity, there is that Indivisible - certainly, the indivisible

can never be divided.

Therefore, in all these movements of the body, it is Ma alone,

the One only-THAT alone.

Didima Predict her Sannyasa - Ma's Play

 About this time, one night Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi was
cooking food and Ma, sitting by her, was talking to her as if she was Her
friend.

During the talk, Ma enquired: "Mother, Sona Mama* calls you

Bidhumukhi, is it not so mother ?" With a snubbing, she remonstrated:
"Hey, one must not utter the name of one's mother."

"Why?", Ma enquired again: "What happens by uttering (the word)

Bidhumukhi ?"

It is no exaggeration even to say that Mokshada Sundari Devi never

knew how to lose her temper or scold anyone, but did express herself in
a few words (with emphasis) as the occasion demanded in a particular
context. A slight hint or a gesture from her put the children on their
guard. On Ma's insistence, she replied, (By taking the name of one's
mother) "One commits a sin; the mother dies." On (hearing) this, Ma
persisted (in asking Her mother) "Give me word that no sin has been
committed and you will not die!"

Ma did this with inflexible earnestness, as if She was about to cry.

On no other occasion had Her mother ever noticed Ma making a demand

so stubbornly, and on the point of crying like this. It was never the case
with Ma to rush up and talk to anyone after clasping the back or the body
of that person. Remaining seated, She pressed Her demand with
persistence, holding the mat-door and continuing to shake it a little.

(Noticing) that particular bhava (of Ma), followed by a somewhat

uncommon transformation, as it were, in Her features and (also
realizing) what a strange way of speaking it was, as mother bad an
apprehension born out of the uncertainty as to) who knows what might
happen.

So, at last, taking the name of Bhagavan and turning her face away from
where food was being cooked, she was forced to assure (Ma): "No,
no, no, no, there has been no sin on your part; I shall not die, shall not
die, shall not die."

The present name of Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi is, do we know,

Shri Muktananda Giri Maharaj. Her former name is not there anymore
(after taking sannyasa) - sannyasa, death of death. That small girl, after
 creating an occasion through Her own Kheyala, also got out of Her
(mother's) mouth these words denoting conquest of death, which surely
means immortality. What was to come about was indicated then only
during the conversation between mother and daughter-this is what we
have found here. Later on, when Mokshada Sundari Devi was amongst
us as Didima (grandmother), we had enquired of her one day:
"Didima, A sin is committed by uttering the name of one's mother,' why
did you say so?" Didima had replied: "In villages we had been hearing
so from our childhood; that is why I had said this."

Ma's Kheyala - A Heavenly Mango .

On another day, Didima told Ma: "Your luck is such that (though) these
are the months of Vaisakh (April-May) and Jyoishtha (May-June) and
there are a few mango trees as well in the house, yet not a single one
among them is ripe, which you can eat."

About this very time, Ma went once, in the company of

Her Thakurma into a jungle to pick pot - herb, and found quite a large
sized mango lying there. No mango tree, too, was there, and it was, as if,
someone had placed the mango on that spot. Such a variety of mango is
never seen at all, and looking at it, Mokshada Sundari Devi was wonder
struck. It was so lovely, so big, so deliciously sweet-smelling and of
such an attractive appearance, as if the mango was of heavenly origin. Its
colour and pattern were also novel. the skin too had its own speciality--
wbere else could such a variety be (found)? Taking thatamrita-
phad (amrita-giving fruit) in hand, the face of Mokshada Sundari Devi
became suffused with joy. From the stone of a good variety of mango
grows a tree of good variety, but despite search, the stone (of this
mango) was not found (afterwards).

Svarga, Result of Virtuous Karma with Desire, Transient-Realization

of Bhagavan, the Aim In those days in villages, education among girls
had not been introduced on any appreciable scale. It may bc said that
among elderly women in villages, there was hardly anyone who could
read or write. Among men, someone perhaps read the Ramayana or
the Mahabharat on some occasion, but among the women, practically no
one was seen even to hear with attention what was being read.

The talk about going to Svarga was often heard from the mouth of old
women.
 (Svarga is the world for special enjoyments to which one attains after death

as a result of righteous actions with desire. Hence it is a place of temporary residence,

which one has to leave after the fruit of one's actions is exhausted through enjoyments.

Ma's question about there being anything special in Svarga was to make it clear

that Svarga was not the Supreme objective. Didima's silence confirmed this.)

Hearing this from the mouth of someone, one day, while lying
beside Didima, Ma suddenly enquired,

"Mother, they talk about Svarga; can one go there only if one so
desired?"

She replied,

"Yes, it is possible to go there. Svarga, earth and nether world are there;
we are on earth. One can go to Svarga if there is a burning desire for it."

Ma asked,

"In which direction lies the way leading to it, do please tell me mother?"

She replied: "When a strong desire arises in a man for it, then only he
can see the way."

Ma further enquired: "One can go there, if only there is a desire for it, is
that so?"

Didima replied: "Yes, certainly!"

Ma asked again: "Is there anything special there?" Didima did not add
anything (to what she had said already). Very often Ma used to have
(talks on) such religious topics, and (hold) discussions on various
subjects with Her mother and (hear) stories (from her). Whatever was
worth receiving from Her mother, that, again, was there too.

One Eternal Dhvani.

One day the sound of kirtan and of playing on khol was held from a
house at a far-off place. Lying here (at home), Ma was perhaps in that
changed state, in keeping with the occasion Afterwards, She enquired of
Her mother,
"There is this kirtan and playing on musical instrument, which we hear;
what do we get by doing all this?" She replied: "Bhagavan is pleased; He
can hear even when one takes His name mentally. Indeed, man cannot
see everything, but surely, Bhagavan knows everything, sees everything
and does everything at all places.

Definitely, He is present in everything, yet again, does nothing at all."

In the context of a certain topic we were told that in Her childhood,

when Ma heard any sound produced by the beating of drums on the
occasion of anypuja or a festival, or during a marriage celebration, or
even any other sound of a loud nature, She was indeed, (found to be)
hearing it (alright) but to have got into a fixed inexplicable bhava!

While remaining calm under that abnormal state, there would flash for a
moment, in the body of Ma, an extraordinarily strange manifestation
externally visible to all. When an enquiry was made about it, Ma had
replied,

"There is only one eternal dhvani;

in this context, know that there is that Supreme (eternal dhvani) abiding
in each aspect of dhvani."

Afterwards, when She would come back to (what we call) Her normal
state, there would appear, in Ma, a special bhava of diffidence too in the
presence of people.

However, on an-other occasion, this aspect would be definitely there,

i.e., a totally determined bhava (would be noticed). Even now, we are
used to hearing (from Ma) that whatever happens at any time, let it.
Sometimes, if Ma saw someone crying or laughing, She too would be
seen doing the same along with that person. Then, again, this too, that
whether the occasion was one of merriment or lamentation, or whether
Ma was in the midst of too much confused noise of any nature, or
manifestation of any other sentiment, She would remain like one totally
indifferent, unconcerned, unaffected-the same as ever. This too would
attract the attention of many and they would remark:

"Is the girl a simpleton ?"

Once, when Ma was about three or four years old, Shriyukta Mokshada
Sundari Devi fell seriously ill at Her maternal uncle's house. (As usual),
Ma had Her food, etc., loitered about also, but kept well away from Her
(ailing) mother. Everyone remarked:

"What sort of a girl is She? She does not care to see Her mother, even
with a glance by the way. Is She completely without any feeling of love
and attachment?"

Sense of sanctity and Defilement

- Justification of Compliance with Shastric Sanctions and

Interdictions

In the context of a topic concerning a different event, Ma said that once

at Kheora at noon on the day of Adhivas of autumnal Durga Puja. She
had sat down with Her mother to take food. Ma, had, then observed
Shri Durgaji and other associate gods and goddesses going away in front
of Her, in a manner just as any man walk away. They were also looking
at Ma and complaining that in a certain house, contact with impurity
occasioned by the birth of a child in the family had polluted the puja and
the preparations for it, and so they had come out of that place.

Ma had been intently observing this when Mokshada Sundari Devi,

giving a gentle stroke on Ma's cheek, had remonstrated: "Hey! while
sitting to take food, what are you staring at?" In fact, Ma was like this
from Her very childhood; sometimes, indeed, absent minded, In
whichever direction She looked, Her gaze was occasionally found to be
fixed.

Question : What is all this Ma?

Ma: "When a periodical rite is observed, there must be maintenance of

sanctity and a strict adherence to the relevant religious practice as
appropriate to that particular case."

We feel that here is a warning to all that one should ever be on one's
guard to maintain sanctity while performing such rites. Did we not get a
lesson on this aspect too from this particular case?

Ma in Identity with the Deity Worshiped in a Puja in Her Presence.

 At Kheora, Ma's Thakurma had a lady friend. Ma had given her the
name Chikkan Didi and used to address her by that name only. She was
a child widow and without any issue. She had great affection for Ma and
very often would take Ma to her house.

Sometimes, she would get Ma to cook and then comment: "Sister,

whatever you cook, it tastes just like ambrosia." From the worldly point
of view, it may even be said that Ma had Her first lesson in cooking from
her.

In a house in their neighbourhood, Durga Puja was celebrated every

year as well as a succession of other religious ceremonies during the
twelve months. The name of the daughter of the head of that house was
also Nirmala (Ma's name).

Every year for three days during the time of Durga Puja and on the
occasion of other special pujas too, like Dol, etc., they would take Ma to
their house to stay with them At that time, the duration of Ma's stay there
and taking food i that house was almost fixed, as it were. There, at the
time of puja, Nirmala Devi and Ma both used to sit together and sing a
lot of various Malsi songs (songs related to Shakti, the Divine Mother)
and the like.

At that time, Ma was in the Divine Motherly bhava alone (as if the
Divine Mother Herself). In fact, there appeared in Her tile
appropriate bhava and also the rupa (form) which were identical with
what was depicted in each song related to a particular puja.

One day at noon, someone came to hand over to Ma, a plate

of Naivedya (offering of rice, fruits, etc., for a deity). From Ma, who
was, indeed, already in Her abnormal bhava, she enquired: "What has
happened to you? Why are you looking so (unusual)?" And while
looking closely at Ma she too became inert, as it were, in a strange,
inexplicable bhava and totally lost in it. This happened to her certainly
as a result of looking at Ma. There occurred within her, it appears, some
sort of a little opening of a divine bhava on a permanent basis. No doubt,
she already had love and affectionate regard for Ma, but from then on,
there was (in her) a special feeling of reverence and devotion (for Ma)
all the time. At that time Ma remained silent) poised in Her own bhava.

When Shiva Puja was performed on Shivaratri night, Ma remained in

identity with all those bhava too. In fact, it was the same with Her in
 respect of any particular bhava that presented itself (before Her) at any
time. On the occasion of Ras Purnima (the full moon night during
September-October, when Lord Krishna did Ras-lila with Gopies) and
on Laxmi Purnima, when, of course, remaining awake the whole night,
She was in those bhavas only. After a whole night vigil on Laxmi
Purnima, one is not allowed to sleep on the following day till the stars
are not visible again. Though only of a child's age, Ma did, through
Her Kheyala, everything to the letter in obedience to what Her mother
asked Her to do.

In the context of topics of such a nature, we have heard that on those

occasions, sometimes, as reported, some inexplicable external
manifestation in the body of Ma would invariably take place in a strange
manner; a bhava of identification with pervasiveness in mode and
dealing was, of course, positively ever there.

Ma would be observing the performance of a puja, etc., when all at once,

like a stroke of lightning, there would occur by itself, indeed, a strange
change in Her bhava, sustaining that identification with pervasiveness
and within the sight of people in the external world too. Whatever puja it
was at any place, thevigraha, flowers, bhoga, materials for puja, the
person doing the puja and also the mantras, etc., (were all) THAT alone.
Reading related to Bhagavan,also reading of the Chandi, all those
materials required at different stages of that particular puja, in kirta too
held in the oute apartment and the like, whatever was being performed
separately, surely, in such different forms too THAT alone.

At certain times, there used to occur, in the body of Ma, some change
that was strange and not normal and that too, indeed, within the view of
people in the outer world. The normal dealings in the external world
would, as if, for the moment, get lost or become concealed, or how to put
it correctly as to what sort of manifestation it was. It is not possible to
explain it in words. At that time, for a moment, Ma appeared in a
different form and so was this caught sometimes in the eyes of people.

On a query about the nature of this external manifestation, Ma said:

"Oh Baba, you, of course, see this body as it is while moving about in its
usual way, (but) what is eternal, is there. Occasionally, what appears to
be of a strange sort, certainly from your point of view only, (it is)
abnormal, or, again, normal, (but here) whatever occurs at any time

THAT only.
 Winking and not winking, the same--indeed, all these are just the same
One.

All in One and One in all �

certainly THAT only, even what is a corpse too!

All (including) dead matter whatever, what is considered

to be existing or not existing-THAT alone, indeed!

Right expression (to convey what is meant) is not coming out, Baba!

Where, again, is separateness (there)? Regarding this body, it is

all elomelo, what else!"

Indeed, Ma always says: "From your point of view, eating, sleeping,

moving, talking, smiling, etc., are separate actions related to worldly
forms and ideas as they are. So, it is but natural that this kind of
question should arise."

This was also there that Ma could recite all those mantras, do the reading
(from scriptures), etc., fluently. At that time, occasionally, Ma would
abruptly get up without anyone's knowledge. If this came to the notice of
someone and appeared strange to him, he made some remarks too
sometimes. Immediately, after manifestation for a moment like
lightning, all these bhavas would, by itself, withdraw within Her and She
would come back, from our point of view, to normal condition in
behaviour.

Afterwards, towards those who had the chance to see a little of this
aspect of Ma suddenly come to light, a sort of hesitant serious mood
would be noticed in Ma.

Then, again, they would call Ma and engaging Her in play, would make
Her smile. Whenever they met Ma again, it was evident that perhaps
they had not been able to forget the particular bhava they had
occasionally noticed in Ma at any time. It occurs in our mind that this
divine bhava remained with them like a companion in their spiritual life
aimed at the Supreme Objective, and did this not help a little in leading
them towards unfoldment (of their Svarupa)?For such fortunate ones
who were there in the midst of all this and had a chance to witness it
 (Ma's bhava), we should certainly consider this (coincidence) too to be
of special Kalyana (for them).

In that region, at that time, nothing was heard or seen, even by sign and
indication, which could throw light on (such subjects as) a yogi,
kriya of yoga and the like, interpret the doctrine (of Bhagavan) with
form and attributes as Shri Rama and Shri Krishna and expound
doctrines of dualism, monism, etc. The practice of reading religious
books like the Ramayana, the Mahabharat, Gita, Bhagavat, etc., came to
one's notice only sometimes, somewhere. As for Ma, of course, whatever
happened there in Her presence at any time, (She was ever in identity
with that alone).

In the presence of puja, Ma is in the form in identity with that bhava. In

the context of the aspect of inner Svarupa pertaining to Tattwa of
those bhavas,in Ma's words: in connection with those pujas, etc., a
pervasive bhava unfolded. That is, with a comprehensive view, whatever
it was concerning puja-pujak (performer of puja), puja vigraha (deity
of puja), puja (performance of puja), mantra pertaining
to puja, flower, bhog, articles, etc., for puja -all indeed-Ma.

Again, separately, such as Chandipath (reading of Chandi), anything any

where concerning puja, kirtan, etc., whatever it was as part of puja, each
one separately-Ma alone.

In the context of an extraordinary change of bhava in Ma's body, like the

above stated bhava, Ma is saying : "Ordinary, extraordinary is as you
view them."

In the Reality of Ma, She is what She is, eternal. What She is in Her easy
movements, and again, anything that happens at any time, She is in those
respective forms to Ma alone, such as the person who he is while
winking, is the same person when he is not winking. There is distinction
only in kriyas of the same person.

As a person, he is ever the same.

In the Reality of Ma, there is no question of change or no change -THAT

alone. That is why Ma is saying : "Whatever exists or not at any place,
all indeed -THAT alone definitely, where, again, is a separate
entity?"
 Therefore, what is ordinary, the same extraordinary-Ma alone.

The basis of Oneness, in the background of dualistic vision of jiva, is not

comprehended. That is why questions of this nature keep cropping up.
Any-thing anywhere in the context of Ma's play, it is Ma alone-this is
what we are being led to comprehend.

Obedience to Bidding,

A Play in the Content of Ma's Kheyala.

Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi's instruction to the children was, that

ordinarily, on going to anyone's house, they should neither take anything
that may be given to them to eat nor accept anything else offered to hem.
Of course, when invited, there was no objection in accepting anything
offered. In the circle of special friends, one's behaviour should be as due
to a family member. As for Ma, all these biddings too were carried out to
the letter; (but), as to how She would act when there was any
special Kheyala, was, of course, known to Her only.

One day Ma had gone out for a stroll in the Eastern locality. There, from
one of the houses, a mother and her daughter brought some mangoes of
very good quality and solicited Ma pressingly to accept them. By no
means whatsoever would Ma 'agree to accept them, and as She ran away,
the girl too followed Ma to Her house and tried to offer those mangoes to
Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi. Meanwhile, Ma too had run up and
plucked a few mangoes from a tree within Her house. Returning just
then, (and offering the mangoes to the girl), She said, from the stalk
onwards and up to a certain length, it (the mango) is green and yellow,
side by side along with thick stripe, and the remaining part is of green
colour, but ripe.

"Look, She added, you all do not have such a variety of mango, so please
take them."

The girl took the mangoes with joy and turning them around (in her
hand) began observing their unusual colour, which, it was reported, was
so wonderful that it could not be' described. Mangoes of such quality
were not there in anyone's house, and it was, as if, in each mango, the
two colours represented Sita-Ram, Radhey-Shyam - the divine couples.
This mango tree was in one corner of the house. Turning the mangoes in
 Her hand, Ma used to observe their colour with great joy. So sweet to
taste and so fragrant, a mango of such quality was not seen elsewhere

Graceful Manner of Wearing Clothes,

Cheerful Enthusiasm in Pattern of Movement

It is doubtful if Ma had even two good clothes to put on.

At that time, there was no question of use of frocks and trousers.

There was no washer-man at all; besides, where was the money to meet
washing expenses? Occasionally, with soda ash, and that too derived
from the bark of a plantain tree or some other source, clothes were
washed to some extent in the homes of poor people. In this way too,
there was no possibility of washing clothes very often because of the fear
of their getting torn through repeated washing. Even when going out, Ma
would put on those old and tattered garments, wrapping Herself neatly
and swaying to and fro with joy.

In former days, the practice in every village in that region was that till
the children could put on their clothes themselves, (they remained
without them)-the use of frocks and trousers was not at all current.
During winter, someone would fold a piece of cloth, wrap it over the
child's body and tie the two ends around the neck.

When the child could move about well, it was, perhaps, given a cloth
then. Sometimes the child put it on by itself, wrapped it around the body
and then kept it aside. So long as the child was of the age when it was
not obligatory to keep clothe on all the time, this was the practice even
while moving about and in play.

In those days in villages, this was usual with all children; juniors and
elders, men and women-indeed none had any sankoch (sense of
immodesty) about it. At that time, it was not customary even with
grown-up girls to put on stitched clothes such as a blouse, etc., (the sari
serving as an all-purpose garment). Wearing of warm clothes and
wrappers during the season for it - this was also not usual in those
regions. In villages, the cold too was not severe. Heat and cold were
bearable. Men alone were seen putting on garments like shirt and coat,
and these too only while coming to and going out of villages. Regarding
electricity, there was no question at all of having it there.
 When Ma was a little grown up, on observing Her style of wearing
clothes, someone would remark: "What a beautiful style of putting it on;
except hands and feet, no other part of the body is exposed!" Perhaps
noticing someone (whose body would be much exposed in comparison)
be would say (to that girl): "Learn it(that style)!"

During Ma's movements, its pattern in Her own joyous style was such
that it always naturally attracted affection from all. Even through the
dirty colour of the soiled and worn out cloth, the beauty and charm of the
bright, fair complexion of Ma would be enhanced.

One day someone gave a pair of anklets to Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari

Devi for Ma to put on and the former got Ma to wear those anklets.
Putting them on, Ma walked about nicely here and there. One day,
addressing Her mother, Ma entreated: "Mother, if you permit, I may just
take off these anklets." Thereupon the mother said: "No; why should you
remove them, they look so nice? Let them be as they are on your
ankles."

The reason behind Ma's request then came out. Pulling out the torn
corner of Her wearing apparel and showing it (to Her mother), She said,
as if timidly: "Just see, the anklet has torn this cloth." About this, what
could Her mother say! (She only said): "Alright, move carefully." For
fear that the cloth might get torn further, Ma would, while moving about,
keep it raised (above the anklet). Afterwards, Her mother got Her
properly dressed.

Kheora - Entire Village Ma's One Home.

Village Kheora was not a very big one. Among the inhabitants, there
were, besides a few brahmin and a few kayastha families, Muslims and
other communities in greater number. In the Western locality, there were
only two brahmin families, one of whom was that of Bipin Bihari
Mahasaya. At some distance, almost on three sides, there was the
habitation of Muslims. During rains, water accumulated around two or
three sides of the house, and just in front, there were Muslim houses. In
the Eastern locality, there were dwellings of nine or ten Brahmin
families and fourteen or fifteen kayastha families. Besides, there lived
people of other castes too. While going from the Western to the Eastern
locality, one had to pass through a bit of field and jungle on both sides.
There was another road too, a short-cut, through the premises of Muslim
homes. Both these roads were used by Ma for coming and going on Her
way to the Eastern locality.

During Her stroll, Ma used to go to the houses of Muslims, some of

which were located in the north and others on the eastern and southern
sides. Due to strict orthodoxy of those days, Thakurma and others had
bidden Ma to go there before taking bath and to bathe after coming back.
As for Ma, just as to a Hindu home so also would She occasionally go to
their homes too during Her stroll with due care in Her movements. On
returning home, She would sprinkle Her body with water, to
which Tulsi leaves had been added. As if the whole village itself was Her
one home, Ma would, now and then, move about on foot, going to any
place any time. But She would not go alone on all occasions.
Either Thakurma would be with Her or She would be in the company of
someone else, who would call and take Her too. Also, on account of the
village being the maternal home of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya
Mahasaya, many indeed, among the Muslims too, would address him as
nephew. For this reason, there was a good number among them who, in
relation to Ma, had the status of Her grandfather and grandmother. With
them too, through esteem (for seniors) and talks in which there was
undue liberty (permissible to a dear child), distinction of caste did not
stand for Ma; the same equality was maintained in humour and
merriment.

From Door to Door in the Form of Karuna -

A Friend of Visva-Jagat and yet None to Anyone Anywhere

Why, in search of what, with what interest, and wearing sometimes,

soiled, worm out clothes and at othcr times, beautiful apparel, and
crossing through jungles and fields, there was this girl at the doors of all?
Here, indeed, there was no distinction at all between old men and
women, young boys and girls, boys and girls of the same age-group and
people of different communities.

Sometimes, perhaps, with Thakurma, or possibly, taking a child as

company at another time, or again, on a rare occasion, with the
permission of parents, She would move out alone, dancing and singing
as if in self-forgetfulness why, and for what purpose?

Any attraction for a particular friend of the same age-group, which the
people could se---that too was absent in this girl, indifferent to worldly
 interests. Any festival, amusement or the like, with its outward
temptation, fascinating a child-mind, was not always there in the village.
Then, hostility with anyone was certainly out of question. Just as the
world and the universe were Her friends, so also simultaneously there
was, as if, none at all of Her own anywhere the One in great abstract
mood, grave, calm, serene. Again, in Her own bhava, She would,
sometimes, wander about, laughing, playing, dancing and singing in a
low humming voice. (And then), saying a few words to the villagers
while addressing them with a little smile, just this much! Was it only to
give and receive this little bit of alms of love that this girl moved about
uninvited from door to door in different localities, maddening the entire
village?

With what an extraordinarily profound and steady rhythm, eyes upturned

sometimes, the style of movement in walking reflected a
divine bhava and attracted public attention. What lay hidden in it, what
mystery, is known only to Him whose action it was! The bhava of
movement in Her own innate style was by itself. This too that, within the
realm of jiva-jagat, whatever may have occurred in the minds of some
people, that which was seen (in Ma) was not any kriya actuated by
desire. Perhaps the attraction aspect was due to this. Indeed, Ma asks us
now and then to love Bhagavan. Undoubtedly, the realization
of Bhagavan is realization of the Self. (And) surely, to realize the Self is
to realize Bhagavan.

That is, one has to know:

-"Who is the Self? - to realize this."

LILAS IN LATER YEARS

In the Play of Unattachment -

A Picture Attracting Reverence and Love.

After marriage Ma was once taken to Kheora from the house of Revati
Babu (the eldest brother of Bholanathji) at Sripur. Wearing dul (a kind of
earring) in the ear, ananta (a kind of armlet), bangles, bracelets on wrists
and taking younger sister Surabala and other brothers and sisters along
with Her, Ma went strolling to the houses of those Muslims. After going
around a good number of those houses, Ma came to one of them where
the family comprised boys and girls, daughters-in-law and many among
 them of the age of Ma's father. (Then), one of them asked Ma to let him
have a look at Her ananta, bangles and bracelets. Ma took them off
immediately and placed them in his hands. While examining them, some
members quietly went inside, placed these ornaments in a room, then
returned and sat by Ma.

Ma too, after sitting for a while and remaining engaged in talk and
humour, said,

"Now I shall leave."

The man who had taken the ornaments said: "Alright," without caring to
return the ornaments. Ma kept smiling a little and saying: "I shall go now
itself." They too said: "Very well, you may go." But, about giving back
the ornaments, neither did they make any mention nor did Ma speak
about them. Talk on different subjects continued in a spirit of much
jollity. Ma, of course, used to sit in their courtyard and so She sat there
on that day too as usual. (Then), getting up, She said: "It is quite late
now". Saying his, as Ma moved a few steps, they brought back those
ornaments: ananta, bangles and bracelets, and giving them back in Ma's
hand, said,

"Suppose we bad not returned them?"

Ma just smiled a little. Indeed, it never occurred to Her that all those
ornaments had been given by Bholanath's (bridegroom's) family and
these people were talking in that vein; what would have happened then
(if they had not returned them)? No, there was not the least concern of
this kind. What a simple hearted beautiful spirit of trust! They went on
discussing among themselves with comments on some such lines.

At Rishikesh - Mahatmas Drawn to Ma with Reverence

Even at present w see that there is no respite in the movements of Ma.

Again, when it is Her Kheyala, then, of course, there is the climax of
non-mobility. While going for a walk, taking Bhaiji and two or three
others in Her company, Ma used to pass in front of the kutias near
Baudhara on the bank of Ganga at Rishikesh. Then, on some rare
occasions, She would even enter the kutia of some mahatma and sit
inside in satsanga.
As a result of this within a short time, some among the mahatmas began
to look upon Ma with great respect. Someone would invite Ma to visit
his kutiaand Ma too would call on him. Sonic would carry on a
discussion too with Ma on spiritual subjects.

The kutia of Nivrittinathji too was near that of Ma. He occasionally

talked to Bhaiji and visited and sat near Ma sometimes. Swami
Vigyananandaji, a disciple of Ramakrishna Math, also came very
often. He used to take Ma to his kutia, seat Her there and enter into
a discussion on some spiritual matter. He looked upon Ma with
great respect. Other sadhus and samnyasis too would come and sit in
Ma'skutia very frequently.

Purnananda Swamiji also began making enquiries about Ma. He first

sent his sannyi disciple and afterwards took Ma to his kutia and fed Her
one day. On another day, he took Ma and seating Her with esteem had
talks on spiritual subjects for quite sometime. After enquiring about
Her kriya, etc., he came to Bhaiji and expressed his great pleasure (for
the blissful experience). He requested Ma to visit his kutia occasionally.
One day he even came himself to Ma'skutia. He would ask
his sannyasi disciple to make shrikhand and malpoa, two items of milk
preparation, and then would go and give these to Ma. One day, it was
proposed that these items be prepared at Ma's place only and be given to
Her. Indeed, he did so. Very often Purnanandaji would send him (his
disciple) to Ma. He really looked upon Ma with great affectionate
regards.

One day Swami Purnanandaji sent one of his disciples to Ma with the
instruction to ask Her as to what She saw in Her dreams. Early in the
morning, the disciple came to Ma and put that question to Her. In reply,
Ma said,

"Undoubtedly, Baba has sent you with this question.

Do tell Baba that when one is in sleep, there is dreaming. Flow can
there be the question of dreams where the question of even sleep has
no place. In fact, the world is a waking dream whereas in sleep,
there is sleeping dream."

On receiving this reply through his disciple he expressed great pleasure.

A question in a limited form had been put to Ma and so indeed, had been
Her reply.
 Ma, of course, says : "There are many side issues in all such things."

One day Ma told that disciple: "Look, I just saw Purnananda Baba seated
on his bed in his own bhava with a calm, cool and grave disposition, and
a lady, in a red-bordered sari, standing outside the door and leaning in,
while holding the door-leaf and looking at Baba."

Hearing this the disciple said: "Yes Ma, due to renouncing the worldly
life by Maharajji, his wife of former order of life courted unnatural death
on her own; very likely, it was she only." Of course, Ma had not heard
from anybody anything about the former order of Maharajji's life.

We feel that only a jeweller can recognise a precious stone.

And if the jeweller is a right one, he alone can estimate the worth of a
jewel. These who really know, for them where is the distinction between
man and woman? This, indeed, is what one realises while having
continued association of Ma.

Addressing Ma with respect by mahatmas is pleasing to us.

And, where the offering of respect is in its true form, there it is all that
one can desire. Where is that great experience in us to understand it (the
significance of that respect)? And, is it possible to comprehend all this in
this way through mere book learning? It is only by associating
with mahatmas that we have experienced the little which we have.
Where that realization really is, how can there remain any question of
(distinction between) man and woman, and different communities.

In reply to a question, Ma has said that whatever little development

of Shakti takes place in anyone, it is in accordance with that much
only and in the light of that Shakti that one sees, understands and
speaks in regard to a particular subject.

Waking,

dreaming,

deep sleep-these are the three states of jiva, when he is in bondage.

 The course of human life is nothing but a cyclic rotation of these
three states. Besides these, there is a fourth state which is
called Turiya.

This is the state of liberated jiva.

Turiya - it is an awakening devoid of dreaming and deep sleep. This, in

fact, is the eternal awakening, where the question of awakening and
absence of awakening has no place.

Among these three states, there exists a relationship of exclusiveness.

That is, during the waking state, the other two states of dreaming and
deep sleep are absent; in the dreaming state, waking and deep sleep are
not there, and in deep sleep state, there is absence of the other two states.

But the Turiya state is not like this. It is pure, without any mal (i.e.,
without attributes), absolute.

Here the sadhaka Himself in Himself is in repose in the Self.

This is the state of Svarupa of jiva according to a particular outlook. This

is-by following the path directed by the Guru-what Ma says, attainment,
according to his course of sadhana, of that which was not attained
before.

In reply to the question by Swami Purnananda, pointing this state

of Svarupa, it has been stated-no question of dreaming and deep sleep.

But Ma is all states, absence of states; where there is no question of state,

absence of state-say what you may, it is that.

Therefore,

being all too,

it is nothing,

being nothing as well,

it is all being - THAT alone.

CHILD MA'S KARUNA

 - VIBHUTI - A PLAY BY ITSELF

Elderly person�s Hand prints from a Child's Hand

Reverting to the subject ill the context of Ma's childhood, many a deed
of Ma sometimes did appear to be unusual compared to Her age. At
Vidyakut, one day Ma's aunt (wife of the elder brother of Ma' father)
asked Ma to plaster (with cow dung) the oven and floor of one room. Ma
was, then, of very small age. Removing Her clothes, She plastered the
floor of the room. Afterwards, Her aunt called everybody and told them :
"Look, how big are the hand-prints in the plastering. It is as if some
elderly person has done it. How could it happen with such a small hand!"
They were surprised and went on discussing it among themselves.

In the Play of Unfolding Sandhya-Kriya�

At Kheora, a relation of Ma, of the status of a grandmother, received

spiritual initiation and after that the Guru went back to his home.
Although the age of that lady was approximately about thirty years at
that time, yet she treated Ma as a friend. She was illiterate and could not
retain anything in her mind.

On account of this, she started learning sandhya-kriya (religious services

observed thrice daily: early in the morning, at noon and in the evening)
and othermantras from Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi.

One day that grandmother told Ma: "Look, I have forgotten again
the kriyas of hand (anganyas). It is not right that I should trouble your
mother so very often. Now, you tell me what I should do. Ma smilingly
showed her something in quite an easy manner and said: "Why not do
like this?" Of course a question may arise as to why did the elderly
grandmother approach such a little girl (Ma's age was then about nine or
ten years) for this instruction?

It is possible that in dealing with Ma, many, sometimes, could not keep
in mind the difference in age; they forgot it.

About Ma, of course, the elomelo is, surely, there. But they could not
realize this also at that time, and this happened in the same way on both
sides, as if, in a strange manner. When this grandmother told Mokshada
Sundari Devi all this afterwards, she remarked: "From where has She
 learnt all this. She had explained very correctly indeed!" She called Ma
and enquired about it. Ma said,

"Hearing tile words of the grandmother, all that just occurred by itself in
the body."

Mokshada Sundari Devi kept on looking at Ma for a while, and then, as

if with something like snubbing a little said: "How could this possibly
take place in you by itself?

One must not joke with mantras and the like; it may turn one mad.

As if this is a matter to truffle with!

This is not good for little ones."

Bangles Slipped in Elder's Hand -

A Dextrous Play

On another day, the same grandmother who had enquired of Ma

about anganyas, etc., brought a pair of bangles made of shell (which she
wanted to wear). However, no one was able to help her to do so. The pair
of bangles was very much to her liking, and on failing to put it on her
hand, she was sitting sorrowfully. Noticing this, Ma told her with a
smile: "Come grandmother, I shall help you to wear it." She replied:
"None, indeed, has been able to do so, you alone have remained to do it.
Very well, try", and pointing out a particular spot in her hand, she said:
"This is where it gets stuck." Ma took the pair of bangles and slipped
them on the hands of the grandmother quite easily, whereupon she
exclaimed: "How could you manage to slip it Oil such big hands as mine
with such small hands of yours and also do all that without the least
awareness on my part!" All those present there kept on looking at Ma
and speaking, one did not know what, to one another, among themselves.

TI4urnph of Truth in the Pattern of Taking Place by Itself All loved

Ma right from Her very childhood. When Ma visited Her maternal
uncle's home, eight or ten girls of the same age-group from the
neighbourhood would play taking Ma in their company. They were
aware of the fact that if anyone enquired of Ma about any matter, Ma
would openly disclose everything. For this reason, if there was anything
secret between them concerning the game, they would not divuig it to
Ma and remain careful while talking too about anything to Her. On many
an occasion they would make Ma 'Raja', 'Budi'* in the play and seat Her
on one side. Sometimes they formed a group and collectively tried to
defeat Ma (in some other game). But in the course of events they
themselves were beaten and found that they had made fools of
themselves. On the other hand, leaving them always to their
deliberations, Ma remained aloof in Herself without being in the least
interested in winning or losing.
An Indian game played by children. First of all they select
one from among themselves to act as 'Raja (King)
or 'Budi' (old woman), and give that person a seat at a fixed
place. The children, then, divide themselves into two rival
groups. One of them is given the rcle of defence and the
other that of offence. The job of this group is to manage to
infilterate through the defence and touch the Raja/Budi. If
any one of this group succeeds in reaching the Raja-
Budi without being touched by any member of the other
group, then the former is declared winner. If, however, in
the attempt to infilterate, even one man is touched by any
member of the defensive group, then the former loses the
game.

Loss of Son Disclosed to Child Ma

- Mental Agony Alleviated.

At Kheora, once a boy died in a certain house.

That house was in the Eastern region and located at the farthest end of
the village. The residents of the house were a class of people
called Acharya Biahmins, who used to make in clay the images, etc., of
deities worshipped in the village. With a Kheyala known only to Ma,
She went alone at that moment during the morning hours and appeared at
a house adjoining theirs. There was loud and bitter weeping in the other
house, and standing in this (the neighbour's) house, Ma was observing
intently the condition of that boy after death. Next day, Ma went to that
house (of the deceased). Of her own accord, the bereaved mother kept on
speaking out from her heart about this bereavement to Ma, although Ma
was of such a small age. Standing there, in what mood was Ma hearing,
while looking at their faces, She only knew. But it was noticed that the
intensity of their grief became as if somewhat alleviated. They
repeatedly entreated Ma to come again.

Due to this incident only, intimacy of Ma with this family grew a little.

KHEYALA OF KARUNA TOWARDS PLANT WORLD

 Conversation with Trees.

While moving in a body with Her companions, specially at Sultanpur,

Ma sometimes conversed with trees in the manner of talking to a human
being - moving the mouth and shaking the head with a smiling face.

Noticing this strange action of Ma, they were struck with amazement and
sometimes possibly became frightened too. The reason for fright was
that they noticed that when Ma conversed with trees, the trees too, then,
appeared to shake a little. Besides this, the companions could not
understand anything more.

It is heard that Mahapurusha (saints) possibly live in the form of trees,

but none knows what it was in the present case. Again, occasionally, to
make fun, they would entreat Ma :

"Would you please show your queer manners once more just now ?"

Exactly as they feared Ma, so also they had a special liking too for Ma,
all loved Her as well. Without Ma's company in any activity, they felt
cheerless and could hardly do without Her.

Fruits Offered to Ma-A Mango Tree's Seva: Its Last Birth?

The father-in-law of that grandmother in whose hand Ma had slipped on

the shell bangles, was the uncle of Ma's Thakurma. Their house and that
of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya (Ma's father) only these two
houses-were in one place in the Western sector. Just near their houses,
there was an old mango trees.

On one side of the tree, its branches were dry without any leaves, etc.
Some other sides were green to some extent and bore some mangoes too
in the mango season. They had a big mango garden there which gave
them plenty of mangoes to their entire satisfaction.

If any mango dropped and remained there till even putrefied at the foot
of this lone old tree, nobody cared to take any particular notice of it. But
occasionally that tree would perhaps attract Ma to its foot, and if during
the mango season, Ma found mangoes lying at its foot, She would bring
and give them to Mokshada Sundari Devi. If old Thakurma found
mangoes there, she too picked them up and preserved them in the house.
When they were ripe, then, at the right time, she fed Ma too with them.
We have heard from Ma's mouth that the mangoes of that tree had such a
nice fragrance and were so sweet to taste that such variety was hardly
even seen at all. But the owners of the house had not even the least
appreciation of this.

In the context of the subject mentioned above, Ma incidentally said,

"Look, surely they are in numerous forms and keep in mind that
they complete their final birth in the form of trees too."

(Now) who was that great one, who, escaping the sight of all, had
remained all alone on one side in the form of this dry tree? Did he fulfil
his final birth with his successful seva of Ma by offering Her fragrant
and sweet fruits?

In the Form of Insentient and Invisible - Who all they?

Associates of Ma?

Absorbed with Herself In what Play?

At that age of Ma, Her behaviour was, indeed, somewhat unusual. A

mere child, She would, say, be going along on a road to someone's house
or to any other place and coming back all alone. Sometimes, then, while
moving about alone, it would generally be an easy, free movement.
Occasionally, the eyes would be upturned too, and continuing with up-
surging movements, She would go on jumping, laughing, running and
sometimes, again, perhaps taking something in hand, She would be
throwing it up and catching it back. Also, with a rhythm too of a dancing
pose, She would sometimes sing with a low humming voice or loudly.
Perhaps, again, during Her movement too, She would stand motionless
or walk slowly and keep on talking with much laughter to the earth,
trees, etc. Also, sometimes picking p such thing as branches, leaves and
flowers of trees, She would wrap Her body with them, and with what
affection, love and caress, She would indulge in for them, as if She never
went about without a companion at all. If there was nothing else, then
breeze, wind, sky and void were surely there as Her companions.

With vibration sustained by movements of hands and feet, She kept on

moving about with great joy, while jumping, laughing and playing in the
company of breeze only. Or sometimes, remaining in one particular area,
She would loiter about this way and that for quite a while. Sometimes
with both hands raised upwards or halfway up, and at other times,
keeping them hanging downwards, one on each side, She would spin like
a top. Or She would move on, sometimes waving to and fro, right and
left, in four directions and sometimes keeping the eyes upturned and
both hands hanging loosely. When during Her movements She came
within the sight of people, She would attract their attention. All this was,
of course, heard from Giriji's mouth too. Absorbed in what sort of play
with Herself by Herself, is known to Her only. Are the activities of small
boys and girls like this; is a like of it ever observed in the case of
anyone? Some people would say,

'Whatever She does and the way She does it during Her movements,
indeed, in all that, there is, as if, sweetness-the glorious glamour of
beauty.'

And when, again, She would be calm, She would turn into a statue so
grave, as if, there was not the least trace of restlessness any time,
certainly, none at all. Her gravity would remain absolutely unimpaired.
Someone would (then) address Ma as an earthen pot. When this state
was there then it definitely did not continue only for a short duration.

Perhaps She had no dearth of friends at any time. Again, She was lonely
without any companion; steady, self-composed and disinterested, with
Her gaze also fixed towards the sky, as if She had no bondage of any
bondage at all. Others also definitely noticed this. Looking at Ma with
Her face turned upwards, Mokshada Sundari Devi often called Her
'camel-faced'. On hearing this (term), Ma looked at the picture of a
camel in a children's book.

Sometimes Ma would walk haltingly as if She were specially talking

endearingly to friends, and would likewise be engrossed in lively
conversation accompanied with laughter. But whom did She talk to?
Who was Her companion? Someone invisible too? If somebody arrived
suddenly when She was in those bhavas, then perhaps, because of
the bhava of the new arrival, She would quickly be transformed into a
gentle, quiet, obedient and docile girl.

ANTS AND ANIMALS �

FRIENDS AND COMPANIONS

 Ants--Dealings, Conversations,

as if Ma their Great Companion

Sometimes Ma treated birds and beasts too with the same bhava.

They used to look at Her face in such a way, nodding their heads this
way and that, as if they understood what Ma was saying and Ma too
would reciprocate as though they were known to one another from
eternity. Even with insects like ants in rows, She was, as if, one with
them. She would start talking and dealing with them with laughter and
sometimes conversing with them loudly. She would jump, beckon and
look for them, as if Ma was their great friend.

This would go on for quite sometime. After having done all this, She
would never look back in any direction when She left.

With Her, making and unmaking were, as if simultaneous affairs

Wild Animal in Village Jungle

'Darshan Given to whom, with what Kheyala.

One day at Kheora, a little before dusk, Ma was going to the tank to
fetch water. Suddenly, with what Kheyala, one does not know, She ran
towards the jungle, peeped through a narrow way and returned
immediately.

Never before or after this incident had She stooped a little and looked
into the jungle like this. When She came back home with water, She told
Mokshada Sundari Devi,

"I have seen in the jungle at quite a close distance, an animal much
bigger than a large dog with black and white marks, know not what
they were, on its body. It stood calmly and quietly facing south-
west."

Ma had entered that narrow lane, a short distance from the south.
Hearing the frightening story, Mokshada Sundari Devi said: "What
animal did you see with black and white patches? Never go alone that
side. No one has heard that an animal with such colours has ever been
seen in the jungle of this village." Who knows who it was in an animal's
garb to whom Ma had granted darshan!

In the meantime, during the Indian month of Magh (Jan.-Feb.), the old
grandmother used to take Ma daily for a bath in the tank in the early
dawn when it was still dark. It was a religious observance to bathe just
before sunrise. A vow of Maghmandal had been taken, and as such, Ma
had to bathe, well before sunrise in early dawn and observe other
disciplines. (To go to the tank), they had to pass by that jungle. About
fear, where was the room for it?

Herd of Cows - Ma one of Them,

Friend and Companion with Love and Joy

Sometimes it so happened at Sultanpur, when Ma was there at the house

of Her uncle that She would be walking on a road between two stretches
of water, and a herd of cattle would also, perhaps then, be coming from
the opposite direction. Ma would be accompanied by Her playmates with
Sushila Masima* as one of them.
Sushila Masima was Ma's cousin, older by one year and Her childhood playmate,
who had become a child-widow and was later initiated by Bholanath. Afterwards,
she used to cook bhog, etc., to be offered at the temple at Dehra Dun, and later
became a sannyasi with the name Shudhananda. She breathed her last at
the Ashram at Kankhal. Before she died, her eyesight had gradually become very
weak. So, when Ma went to see her shortly before her end, she had to keep her eyes
very close to Ma's face to see Her. Doing that, she had kept on looking at Ma for a
long time and then said, am not able to see clearly."

Afterwards, with great effort, she had remarked: "Yes, I am now able to see a
little." Before leaving, Ma told her: "One must live carefully. After all, this body
has to disappear one day." Then Ma had enquired: "May I leave now?" Speaking in
a strange tone, she had replied: "You may leave now - how can I say this?" Before
Ma's visit, she had not been able to speak anything for several days. Every one felt
amazed to see her talking to Ma. It was as if Ma never allowed this companion of
Hers to become attached to and be entangled in desires for worldly pleasures. She
drew her to the path leading to (the Self as) her own Objective.

These companions used to clap and tell Ma: "Look out, there it is, the
entire herd of cattle with raised heads is moving towards you only, and
in an instant will definitely fall upon you! In order to frighten Her, they
used to tease Her like this. It was seen that the herd did actually make its
headway towards Ma. Ma would not know where to go, whether to enter
water or to keep to the road and let the herd pass by.

Finally, She would move on the road along with the cattle in love and
happiness, as if She was their friend and companion.
 Her companions would clap and laugh at Ma's predicament and
themselves would escape, running away. Then the farm boys would
rush, and with a lot of difficulty take the cattle away from Ma.

Ma's pattern of movement was such that She was definitely one of them.
Lots of such anecdotes were heard from Mokshada Sundari Devi. She
would wonder at times :

"What sort of a girl She is? Her actions are mysterious. Sometimes She
laughs all alone. Whom does She talk to?"

She often asked Ma "Who was it you talked to, laughed with?"

Ma would then turn grave and look vacantly at her face.

Dogs Forget Fighting, Seeing Whom

(One day) dogs were seen fighting on the road. Perhaps a passer-by was
there and felt much distressed. Rushing suddenly from somewhere
towards the dogs and looking at them with a peculiar smiling pose, Ma
made the gesture of picking up something from the ground. Then,
making the dogs the target, She directed Her close-fisted hand towards it
and opened it. Was it dust only in Her hand or just air?

This was known to Ma alone, whose play it was!

But it made the dogs forget their quarrel, and they stood aside looking at
the face of Ma.

REPTILES

- THEY ALSO HER OWN

There was a very tall mango tree within the boundary of Shriyukt Bipin
Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya's house. The weight of every mango of
this tree was more or less one seer (about 1 kg.). Even the name of the
tree was 'Seer-Khaiya' (eater of one seer). Once, while coming from the
Eastern part of the village, Ma had noticed a mango lying under this tree.
The moment Ma saw it, She had the Kheyala that Mokshada Sundari
Devi would be very pleased to have it.
Ma, then, began jumping about as She proceeded (towards the tree) to
get it. She was, at that time, all alone, so She moved about jumping..
There, on the way, at the foot of the tree, was a huge poisonous snake.
The space under the tree was quite broad, but the snake was lying there
from one end to another blocking the way. There was no space to pass
on either side.

A reddish tinge emitted from the face and eyes of the snake. The eyes
were shining bright and the snake probably raised its head from the
ground to notice Ma. Ma did not stop, but jumped over the snake, picked
up the mango, jumped back and went home and gave the mango in the
hands of Mokshada Sundari Devi.

She was certainly pleased to get the mango but was rather worried to
hear of the snake, pondering as to who knows what this simple girl may
do any time!

Again, on another day, at the house of Ma at Kheora, there was another

snake, which, after entwining itself in the branches of a mango sapling,
was staring with the same brightness in its face and eyes. Ma went a
little close and stood watching it for sometime. There was mutual
exchange of glances between them, as if snakes were also like Ma's
friends. After that She came and reported the incident happily to Her
mother. Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi was naturally rather worried
about Ma.

This particular snake was believed to be living there time and again.
Nobody knows what relationship was there between Ma and that snake.

VARIOUS OTHER ASPECTS

OF MA'S CHILDHOOD LILA

Singing of Gopigiti* in Soul-stirring, Rhythmic,

Melodious Voice as felt by Listeners

In Her childhood, occasionally (as we know), Ma travelled from Kheora

to Vidyakut. Once at Vidyakut, Ma, then a small child of about four or
five years, was moving about. Jumping with up-surging strides along the
side of a tank while singing aloud at the top of Her voice the (love)
songs of the gopi* of Vrindaban.
The songs were composed of the following verses:

1. The lover, revealing in time,

Is now separated from her beloved.

Spring, the happiest time for union,

Has become the spring of death

In her earthly existence.

Courting for Love only,

In pangs indeed,

Like one who is mad!

(She had) gone and appeared

In the Royal Court of Sri Krishna (the

Beloved)

Alas, like one who is mad!

2. A Bahut-catching crocodile (Krishna)

Has appeared in river Yamuna.

'Bahu is being carried away'

'Bahu is being carried away',

A row is raised in milkmen's quarter.

Moving from house to house,

(He) takes away bahus and daughters

From the locality,

And makes them move in rows to the river.

 Dada, be on your guard to protect your Bahu,

Who knows, when one day,

The black crocodile (Krishna) may devour her

up!
*Gopi - the wife or
daughter of a milkman,
a milkmaid, a milk-
woman Copies of
Vrindaban were the
blessed lovers of the
beloved black Krishna,
who in these songs is
given the epithet 'girl-
catching crocodile' of
river Yamuna. The love
of gopies is looked
upon as the highest
form of the timeless
divine love, and the
songs that convey this
love are
called Gopigiti. In
Krishna lila (divine
play of Lord Krishna),
the timeless gopies, in
their divine role on
earth, reveal and
function within time.

When Ma crossed the road and came near the house, an uncle of Ma, Shriyukt Rasik Chandra
Bhattacharya happened to ask someone: "Who is that who sang this song-such beautiful high-
pitched melodious voice with rhythmic tune!" He had been listening attentively, being as if
charmed with the voice. (Just then) Ma came running and frisking, about, and burst into bubbling
laughter. That uncle embraced Her fondly and said: "You! You sang this song! Where did you
learn it from?" He was dumbfounded, amazed. Ma often sang loudly a few verses with a soul-
stirring high-pitched voice.

Possession, Throwing Away �

The Same Ananda

One day at Sultanpur, Sushila Masima put a copper ring on Ma's finger.

On seeing it, Shriyukt Mokshada Sundari Devi said: "it will be a great
sin if you tell a lie after wearing this ring."

Ma replied: "There is never any falsehood here."

She (Mokshada Sundari Devi) said: "It would be a sin even to tell a lie
unmindfully.'

Ma replied: "Alright, there can never be any mistake."

 Even then Mokshada Sundari Devi said: "There is no need to keep this
ring at all." Therefore, Ma took it off Her finger and threw it in a nearby
pond.

Even this was a great pleasure for Her.

Everybody knew that Ma never uttered a lie. Therefore, if anyone

wanted to find out the veracity of any statement and if Ma had been
present on that occasion, She would be interrogated and Her version
accepted as absolute truth.

The very basis of sadhana is truth.

As for Ma, truth is, of course, there in Her innate bhava.

All Ma's Own - Strangers, Even Fallen Woman too.

The step-turn of Ma's nose had been pierced and She had been made to
wear a nose ring some time back. A hole was also now bored in the nose
to wear a rose-pin. The ear-lobes were pierced for wearing ear tops, etc.

At one time, on the occasion of Durga Puja, Shriyukt Bipin Bihari

Bhattacharya Mahasaya, taking Ma with him, set out one afternoon from
Kheora for his sister's home in Vikrampur. The journey was performed
initially on foot and later by boat. Ma was about seven to eight years old
at that time.

While moving by boat, they arrived at a spot when it was dusk, and
Bhattacharya Mahasaya arranged for Ma to sleep at an acquaintance's
place. Later on, he got puri* and mohanbhog to feed Ma.

This was perhaps the first time that Ma had tasted Mohanbhog.
* puri, an
Indian
preparation
, is made
principally
of wheat
flour which
is first
converted
into dough
and then
flattened to
round
pieces of
varying
sizes and
fried in
 clarified
butter.

Mohanbho
g or Halva
is a sweet
and
delicious
Indian
preparation
made from
wheat
flour, sugar
and ghee.

The father said (to Ma): "This is Mohanbhog, eat it with puns."

Ma ate a little and later, he also had some.

The next day, when they arrived at the (steamer) station in the morning,
Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya learnt that the steamer would arrive
late. So he decided to buy some provisions for cooking. It was dawn, the
sun was up and he was walking along the bank of the river with Ma. On
the way was a quarter for professional women of easy virtue. Among
them an elderly woman came near Ma with great eagerness to talk to Her
and touch Her lovingly. It was a strange feeling!

Father was walking ahead, the daughter close behind. Ma too was, as if,
like one of their own, and suddenly stopped on the way. "What is your
name, where are you going, will you eat something, etc."- in various
such expressions, conveying intense love, that woman continued talking,
standing there only. And (all this was) with such a feeling, indeed, as if
Ma was so much of her own, and if she could, she would have taken Ma
to her home. Ma uttered Her name, refused to eat anything and said She
was going to Her aunt's house with Her father. Shriyukt Bipin Bihari
Bhattacharya Mahasaya was buying something from a shop close by and
was not careful about Ma for a while. Afterwards, he asked Ma: "Why
are you standing there? Come here, let us proceed", and took Her with
him.

(How can we know) what traits of character anyone has?

Attempt should be made to understand Ma's ways. She alone knew what
transpired, what She received and what She bestowed in Her dealing
with a stranger She came across on the road. But, while moving away as
far as one could see, that woman had her eyes fixed on Ma. She felt hurt
that Ma was leaving, as if someone very close was going away. All this
came also to the notice of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya. The
steamer arrived on time and it was noticed that the woman had come
again and was standing near Ma, a little away with a forlorn face.

It was clear that she had come only to see Ma.

With a sad feeling, she enquired of Ma: "Are you going away now
itself?" Ma replied in the affirmative with a little smile. Meanwhile,
Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya, holding Ma's hand, took Her aboard
the steamer. When Ma boarded it, that woman felt extremely unhappy,
and standing there with that feeling, went on looking at the steamer so
long as she could see it.

A Big Fire - Kheyala of Karuna, Fire Extinguished.

The steamer reached the destination. The house of Ma's aunt was at
some distance from that place and one had to cover a part of it on foot. It
was dusk, darkness was approaching, and as they walked on, at quite a
distance, a big fire was seen. They were walking and Shriyukt Bipin
Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya, while moving in the dark, kept on
talking a little to Ma.

"Certainly, it is a strain to walk, but the house now is close by" - he was
speaking in such a vein. Pointing towards the fire, Ma told Her father:
"Father, what must be the condition of the inmates of the house which is
on fire?" So saying She kept quiet and stood staring at the fire.

Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya asked Ma: "Why have

you stopped? Let us proceed."

Walking along, Ma told Her father,

"Look, look, father, the fire is getting extinguished!"

He said: "Yes, it is really so; such a big fire being put out so fast!"

This Ananda! On Seeing what?

On Receiving What?
 On deciding to spend the night (somewhere) Shriyukt Bipin Bihari
Bhattacharya went to a family residence near by, with the head of which
he was already on intimate terms. Durga Puja was being celebrated
there. The ladies of the house shouted in joy:

"We have the goddess Durga Herself amongst us."

They were so happy to have Ma that they started picking up and holding
Her joyfully in their arms.

What did they see?

What did they get and what did they understand which gave them such a
feeling? They did not know how to express their love and affection for
Her. They called their neighbours and showed Ma to them. Responding
to their feelings, Ma also became just one of them and did not spend that
night with Her father. The next morning they bade Ma farewell with a
very heavy heart after dressing Her up in new clothes.

No one knows as to what all was awakened in their minds.

Fruit of One's Action

-Who was It whom you planned to Cheat?

The next day Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya and Ma

reached Tantar, his sister's residence. They were also celebrating Durga
Puja, and were very pleased to have Ma among them. Three closely
related aunts of Ma lived in that village. Two other aunts, distantly
related, lived next door. Ma was taken round the village from one end to
another and was picked up in arms with joy by the relations. Here also
Ma made everyone happily enthusiastic.

With all the children of the family, this was how Ma was there.

As for Ma Herself, whatever Her nature was., the same was there at the
houses of Her aunts too.

Just to outwit Ma, one of Her cousins brought a piece of cinnamon from
the house and another (similar looking) piece of bark of a tree from
somewhere. Her intention was to give the ordinary bark to Ma and eat
the cinnamon herself, as is done in a play.
It was seen, however, (to her discomfiture) that the piece Ma had in Her
mouth was cinnamon, while the one which the cousin had herself was
the ordinary bark.

What actually happened and how, only the One who had brought it about
knew!

Later, when the aunt heard about it, she reprimanded her daughter much.
The girl also promised that she would never do it again. Minor incidents
like this often took place even during play, but the bond of love with
everybody remained unimpaired.

No Kheyala for Food, clothing, etc.,

but Polluted Food not Acceptable

Ma never complained or bothered about food and clothing as well as any

other thing that was available any time. Both the mother and father felt
specially attracted towards Ma. When father went out somewhere, he
would ask Ma. "What shall I bring for you?" Many a time he would be
quite insistent. Occasionally, because of his insistence, Ma would say:
"You may bring whatever you like," while at other times She would
remain silent, as if She had nothing at all to say. Sometimes when
peddlers selling their wares, such as bangles and anklets, came to the
locality, children ran about and pestered their parents with all sorts of
demands.

But Ma never had any kheyala for such things.

Never, on any day, did the words, 'I am hungry' come out of Ma's mouth.

She had to be called and fed during meal times. Others ask for varieties
of eatables from their mothers, but Ma never had such a tendency.
Imitating children of the same age-group, Ma once asked Her mother,
'Please give me something to eat."

She replied: "Help yourself, the food is there."

Ma was not accustomed to taking anything Herself. In spite of that,

because of mother's instructions, She kept going that side and coming
back. When the mother saw Her doing this twice or thrice, she came and
served food to Ma herself.
 It is said that Ma could not stand (digest) the food which had be-come
polluted or was served by someone who violated the customary rules of
diet. Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi would say that if anything like
this happened, Ma would suffer from some kind of illness, may be even
a little. That was why Ma had to be looked after carefully. In the context
of such topics with neighbours some among them would tell Mokshada
Sundari Devi: "Yes, some children cannot stand violation of the
established practice in regard to food and drink."

Amusing Aspect in Ma's Play of Obedience

- Broken and intact, Forms of the Same

One day in the morning, when Ma was a small child, She was going to
the pond to wash utensils. Mokshada Sundari Devi then said: "You are
going with the stone-bowl; move carefully and (added ironically) if you
can, bring it back only after it is broken."

Perhaps Ma spoke to trees while She was walking.

The bowl, then, suddenly slipped from Her hands and broke. She picked
up the pieces carefully, washed them and after bringing them back home
along with other utensils, stood in the courtyard.

Seeing (Her), Mokshada Sundari Devi spoke a little loudly: "You have
done just what I had predicted."

Ma replied: "My hands were a bit unsteady and so it fell and broke. But I
did pick up all the pieces and have brought them along."

On this Her mother started laughing while covering her face with her
sari, and, then, looking at Ma tried to make a show of reprimanding Her
a little loudly. Ma stood there perplexed like a simpleton. Mokshada
Sundari then said: "Foolish girl can broken pieces of a stone-bowl be
fixed again! Bhagavan only knows what will happen to this Girl!"

As we know, there were Muslim families on three sides and even behind
the bamboo bushes. They used earthen utensils also, but not stone
utensils. A burnt sore heals up, without even leaving a white mark
behind, if it is smeared with a thick sandalwood-like paste made by
rubbing one flint-stone piece against another. Ma had seen members of
Muslim families asking for stone pieces and taking them away.
Was it because of this that Ma had collected and brought back the stone
pieces?

Did Ma consider this aspect more important? What if the bowl was
broken, but surely, the broken pieces would help in healing burnt sores.
It did not make any difference to Her whether the bowl was broken or
was a whole piece.

Ma was called a simpleton (a straight one) by some people around. Her

youngest maternal uncle had once presented Her a brass pitcher. (So)
one day, Ma filled that pitcher with water and carrying it' on Her waist,
brought it to Her mother and said: "Mother, people say I am straight, see
now I am crooked!"

Didima�s Despair and Hope: Her Prophecy About Ma .

This is what was often revealed in Ma's actions. Ultimately, it was seen
that if Mokshada Sundari Devi had to say anything to Ma, the former
had to explain it in minute details. This was because Ma would do
exactly what She was told to do. Some sort of a strange bhava was
always there in Ma's physical body; it could be seen, so I have heard. As
a result, in her day-to-day life, She used to only follow instructions.
However, whatever She did was perfect. Again, this was also observed
that if some work was in Her Kheyala, Her whole attention would be
directed towards it. On such occasions, She had no thought about Her
physical existence.

When Ma noticed someone sewing or making articles out of bamboo or

cane, She Herself would also sometimes make a variety of things in
different designs according to those samples. All would be amazed to see
that and would say,

"Everything about the little simple girl is strange!"

When Ma was about ten or twelve years old, at that time too, Mokshada
Sundari Devi would tell Ma sometimes: "You have not studied anything,
nor have you learnt the household chores; Bhagavan only knows how
you will pass your days!"

And when she saw how neatly Ma stitched, how nicely She performed
any other work of such a type, how well She cooked - in fact, whatever
work She was entrusted with anytime, She did so well that Mokshada
 Sundari Devi would heave a sigh of relief and exclaim: "This is very
well done, in-deed, even I couldn't have done it so well. There is nothing
to worry; with Bhagavan's grace you will be able to do everything to
meet the needs."

MA'S SCHOOL EDUCATION

Ma at School � All-knowing, What a Student!

One would really have to find out whether Ma had a total of even two or
three months of schooling between the two places Kheora and Sultanpur!
The small school at Kheora was quite far. Later on, due to ill health of
brothers and also because Ma could not go to school alone-for various
such reasons, She could not attend school everyday. At home too, there
was no atmosphere at all for studies. At first, father brought a plank of
wood from somewhere and himself engraved on it the alphabet - Vowels
and consonants-symbols of letters, conjunct letters, for the benefit of the
children.

They were told to read those letters and were also asked to feel them
with their fingers.

No one saw whether Ma spent even two or three days on touching letters
or reading them. After that, gone was the plank, gone, again, was
learning of lessons-in fact, there was no reading and writing at all!

No such opportunity too was available that one could sit with Ma and
make Her properly pursue studies daily.

Once, at a tender age, Ma spent three months at Her maternal uncle's

house (at Sultanpur). Then a copy of the book Varna Panrichay -
Pratham Bhag(introduction to Letters of the Alphabet-Part I) was bought
for Her. This was the first time She had started going to school with
Sushila Masima. On the very first day, the teacher explained to the two
of them a certain lesson thoroughly and said: "Now, you two reed."

Sushila Masima could not read so well, but when the teacher heard
Ma�s reading, he said "Good girl!" He thought Ma had probably
prepared the lesson beforehand. But this was pro probably the first time
She had read in that manner. The older girls in the school were taught to
recite nursery rhymes. Ma was made to sit with them. She came to
Kheora after this.
At Kheora, there was a small lower primary school. About ten or twelve
girls studied there. The teacher at the school was a distantly-related
grandfather of Ma. Whether Ma was able to gain full knowledge of
letters or not in this school, it was definitely the end of studying this
book. A half-torn book namedBalyashiksha (Infant Education) was then
brought from somewhere and given to Ma.

After reading it or not reading it for three or four days She got another
book named Shishu Shiksha (child Education). The study of that book
too was not completed. There were four girls in the senior class. Though
Ma was the youngest, still, considering the unexpectedly efficient way in
which She answered questions, the teacher put Her with the senior girls
in the upper class. Was he able to understand what the secret was about
Ma?

The four girls of the higher class had new books, slates and other things,
whereas Ma had only the same torn book and that too an old one,
borrowed from someone.

As for slate, She had only a small piece of it with a broken corner, on
which one could write only two or three lines with difficulty and that
too if the writing was in small letters.

Ma had practically no Kheyala to study.

She studied a little when She was sometimes asked to do so. There was
no practice of regular daily studies or (we may say) that there was no
study at all. When Her parents had the thought (and asked Her to study),
She would look for the piece of slate and getting hold of it would sit
under a neem tree in the morning sun and study perhaps on one or two
days. All the same it was seen that when Ma was asked a question at
school, the answer would definitely be there in Her Kheyala - before Her
eyes.

At that time, the answer too would be absolutely correct.

No Question of Memory or Absence of it.

One day, on everybody's advice, Ma started for the school.

She was going alone through the fields. As She went along, perhaps on the way, She opened the
book. She was not even aware as to how far in the book She had studied with Her companions, as
She was going to school after a long absence. Ma was not at all worried of the fact that meanwhile
(during Her absence), Her classmates must have gone quite ahead and learnt new lessons. There
was no question of striking Her name off the rolls of the school, even if She was absent for a long
time, because it was a small village school with a few girl students. Ma had no attachment for
books or even the school.

She opened the book and looked at one place how questions and answers
were given in it. No one had ever told Ma about this. That was the first
day on which She had opened the book and seen Herself that questions
and answers were there in it. She, then, came and took Her seat in the
class. And She was asked questions from that very place in the book. As
a result, Ma answered (questions) so well that She who used to sit behind
all, was immediately taken and seated in front of everyone in the same
class. For other girls, that lesson was new and, therefore, they were
unable to answer the questions so well. But in the case of Ma, questions
were put from whatever She had seen with Her eyes while She was on
the way (to school). So Her answers were correct. This was the
beginning and end of Her study in this particular class. The pattern of
reading and writing of Ma was limited to this much only.

While on this subject, Ma said,

"Understand all this in this way Suppose someone looks at a picture

somewhere, then that 'picture' stays in the eyes. On recalling the subject
of that picture, or on being asked questions about it, its description can
be given. But there is no question of seeing or not seeing by Ma. This
was true in the case of studies too. This also happened that questions
were asked from the portions which the eyes of Ma had seen."

There is no question here at all of remembering or forgetting. We feel

that it is svakrit (self-performed). Action initiated (by Ma) is with respect
to the particular context and only as little as necessary. This is from the
point of view of our judgement only.

No Reading, Writing

-Yet Recipient of Praise.

One day, the Inspector of Schools came (to the school). All the girls
went dressed in good clothes. Ma went in Her usual tattered and dirty
clothes, as She had been wearing daily (at home), carrying Her old torn
book and the piece of broken slate. In a small village school, the number
of students is negligible. So, when the school Inspector visited, even Ma
was taken to school to increase the number of students (on the roll that
day). The Inspector arrived and pointing out a portion of the book, asked
the well-dressed elder girls to read it one by one.

They read it haltingly.

Ma's turn came after all of them.

She read it out fluently as soon as She was asked to do so. After She had
read five or seven lines, the Inspector said: "Good, that is enough. You
need not read anymore." After that She was asked to write and the
teacher then presently borrowed a good slate from another girl and gave
it to Ma for Her to write upon. It appeared that Ma knew very well the
portion the Inspector had asked Her to write. Seeing Ma's faultless
writing, he praised it very much. The teacher was greatly surprised as
this girl did not study, nor did She attend the school regularly. But She
was the only one who was deservedly praised by the Inspector.

After this, perhaps, Ma's school-going ended completely.

A Lesson for Teacher.

The teacher of this school at Kheora died. A new school mistress started
teaching in his place. She was also like a grandmother to Ma on the basis
of village relationships. The inspector came again to this school. Ma had
come back to Kheora after a long stay at Her maternal Uncle's house (at
Sultanpur).

When the mistress got this news, she called Ma in order to swell the
number of students for the visit of the Inspector and seated Her with all
others. Ma was not bothered at all about studies at that time. When the
inspector asked question, the mistress, standing outside the class-room
and hiding herself from the Inspector, tried to indicate in some way tile
answer to Ma.

On this Ma queried back loudly: "What? What?"

The teacher then bit her tongue and slipped away from there. All the
same, Ma gave the correct answer, one does not know how, to what the
inspector had asked. Late, addressing Ma affectionately, the mistress
said: "You are almost eleven, and even now you have no sense. Should
you have talked the way you did ?"
 Ma replied: "It is you who teach us not to tell a lie, but that, which was
done secretly, was definitely lying!" This teacher breathed her last at
Varanasi.

She had taken prasad for sometime from our Varanasi Ashram.

Divine Motherhood-Rules of Conduct that help reveal This in

Woman:

In any Context-that very Form Ma.

Ma was growing up gradually, but without any sense of 'mine' and 'not
mine', nor with any awareness of distinction between man and woman.

She moved about among all happily and playfully with child-like
normalcy. As we know the homestead of the maternal uncle of Bipin
Bihari Bhattacharya (Ma's father) was in village Kheora. Therefore,
there were who were many of the status of Ma's grandfather.

As a granddaughter, Ma received affection from every one in the village.

Many among them had brought up Ma, holding Her in their laps and
carrying Her on their shoulders. They always treated Ma with great
affection because of Ma's nature. Ma used to spend Her days like child
in a relationship of love and in taking undue liberties with these people.

One day She was passing by one of them who was one (of the numerous)
grandfathers.

He took water from a jug and sprinkled a little on Ma.

According to the village custom, this was an affectionate playful joke

between a granddaughter and grandfather. At that time, of course, Ma
went away quietly. (But) a little later, She brought a jug full of water,
stood in one corner and poured it in such a way that it all fell upon the
grandfather. At the same time, She burst into loud laughter and ran away
immediately from that place. That grandfather felt embarrassed and
startled, looking around for the person who had thrown water on him
like this.

Seeing the water marks (on the floor), people there started talking
amongst themselves as to how such small hands could throw water over
such a long distance. Thinking over this, they were a little surprised too.
 This grandfather was Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya's maternal uncle and
almost of his age.

Having come to know about this (incident), Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari

Devi told Ma:

"You are now a grown-up girl and it is not right for you to tease elders
like this. You should not mix freely with all and sundry.

When a girl grows up, she should not even touch a man.

She should not cut jokes, nor romp about too.

A girl should not even look intently and talk to a man.'

From then onwards, there was such a transformation in Ma's ways as

if She was another person - calm serious and composed in Her talks
and movement everywhere as it took place by itself in each particular
situation.

In this chapter, Ma is in the form of a girl-child. In the context of a child,

there are kriyas unfolding the respective patterns of a child. In the form
of a girl too, the types of games, etc., were those with which we are
familiar.

In the child form, in the girl form-in all the dealings and kriyas, She is a
simple girl-child, but behind this form of simplicity, there is unfoldment
of extraordinary bhava and kriyas in the mundane of the extra mundane.

On similar lines was the school education of Ma. It is noticed that in

every case, the subject of the lesson was already known to Her as Lt
were-no study, nor any dependence on it.

This sort of knowing, reflecting a keen talent pertaining to empirical

world - with one reading through a glance only, the subject matter
becomes known-it is not like that. However, it has got its own place too
and Ma can be in that play as well. But in the case of Ma, all these
are Svakrita (what is done is the self) that is, She Herself is Her
own kriya-in the form of knowing too, it is She alone. No question of
recollection and forgetfulness ; they, of course, pertain to the kingdom of
mind.
In the state of a yogi as well, this kind of knowing is possible. The power
of a yogi has been attained which was unattained before. But in the case
of Ma, there is no question of attainment, no attainment. Whatever is
present at any time, Ma is in that form-Herself in Herself in Her
own Kheyala.

We have already noticed that the words Svakriya and Svamool have been
mentioned earlier. All kriyas of Ma - from the very appearance as a child
and all the rest of kriyas in entirety are in the context of
this Svakriya About kriya pertaining to jiva-jagat and the aspect (4
distinctiveness of this Svakriyaand Svamool too, have already been
discussed to some extent in the first volume. We shall notice how very
often the terms Svamool and Svakriya are mentioned also in each
succeeding volume of this series.

Ma says: "Bhagavan, His play pertains to Svamool Svakriya."

That is, in the case of Ma, anything concerning Her, whatever, remains
beyond our vision, within our vision as well-birth, lila, play
of sadhana, etc., all, in fact, is the play pertaining to this Svamool
Svakriya. The relation between cause and effect has its own place, and
yet no place at all at the same time.

Birth,

action,

dealing, etc., are actions leading to bondage reaping of fruits of action

according to the nature of the latter.

Ma's kriya too - walking, movement, rising, sitting; eating, resting,

conversation, etc.,- appears to be like ours.

But since it is Svakriya, Ma's Svarupa and Her actions are identical-
whatever, whether within or beyond our vision-Ma alone.

These revelations in identity are, indeed, all

the bhavas and kriyas pertaining to Ma's body.

Ma is allowing this fact to be comprehended even through lila-khela by

Her girl-like form in this chapter.
 Infinite forms are of the One only.

Again, there is

no question of form,

formless - THAT alone - that what it is.

Here is this indication of Ma's Svarupa and this, in fact, has to be taken
note of even through the Ananda-rasa pertaining to the various forms of
Her childlila. This will lead to the understanding that in the context of
any bhava kriya at any time, She unfolds shaping Herself in the patterns
of those particular forms completely. Therefore, the form of the child is
perfect, and the aspects of the girl too are unfolded perfectly.

But with anything pertaining to manifested form,

the unmanifest is inseparably there as well.

Consequently, here is the Svarupa, manifest - unmanifest,

here is Ma - what She is being all,

the same She is without being any,

THAT alone.

Aiming at this revelation, one should direct one's effort

to enter into this Grantha.

CHAPTER TWO
Yogini Thakurma

Longing Itself for Revelation of 'That One'

MA's THAKURMA
 The Thakurma of Ma had an innately inward-turned mind, even while
living in the family. A glance at her revealed as if there was a
detached bhava within her. She had a tall figure, looking like a yogini.

Even while engaged in any work, she moved humming happily songs
related to Bhagavan; on being called unexpectedly, she replied as if she
was startled. It was like the action of one who had returned from some
unknown deep realm to the material world.

Whatever work she did, would be neat and clean, manifesting total
holiness. The present poverty did not touch her much, as it were. Of this
family, this was a characteristic feature-an ornament, indeed, of innate
beauty.

Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya had, of course, very little

connection with the family throughout the day. Wherever he would be,
the people of that area would be like members of his own family and
they would go on calling him (as such). As soon as they would meet
him, he would be earnestly invited and taken (to their place) where he
would get engrossed in songs pertaining to Bhagavan, etc.

It was, as if, he was not bound by time. He spent all the time like this,
regardless of day and night. Sometimes he did not find time even to eat
and sleep. Being a devout brahmin, invitation from a right place alone
was accepted and food taken there. Besides this, (normally) when he
returned, it was only at home that he took his bath, performed the
prescribed religious sandhya-annhik and puja and then had his meal.

These aspects of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya's life have already

been mentioned earlier.* We have also heard from the mouth of
Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi what bas been mentioned above and
also about similar other topics.

Thakurma's Absorption in Name of Bhagavan

and her Daily Routine

At the crack of dawn, Ma's Thakurma sometimes collected dry branches

of trees found on the way nearby and very often arranged and gave them
to Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi for use in the kitchen. Pot-herbs
grow in jungles. Sometimes, humming merrily the name
of Bhagavan, she picked them also while going round those village
jungles in the morning. It was as if she was collecting vegetables grown
in her own well laid-out garden. Again, when she felt like it, she took
Ma along too, to collect pot-herbs. Gradually, in a few days, she had
made Ma understand which pot-herbs were edible and which were not.
When Thakurma could not see properly because of her poor eyesight,
and if Ma happened to be with her on that day, then She would rush with
great joy into the jungle and show Thakurma the pot-herbs and their
tender stalks. Thakurma too would be greatly delighted to see them. She
had a very simple and guileless nature.

Some of the villagers grew a large variety of radish in their agricultural

land, and they used to sell the produce. While pulling out those which
were big and of good quality, a part of their lower ends sometimes
remained behind in the soil. Ma's Thakurma as we know, very often
collected pot-herbs from the jungle. Perhaps, on some occasion, on
noticing her moving along the road by the side of their gardens, they
would call Thakurma, and giving her some good radish, would also tell
her,

"Look, many bits of radish are still lying under the ground, please take
them too."

May be, sometimes, she did take a few of them. As Thakurma's father's
house was in Kheora, there was no question of covering her face with a
veil (in this village). There was a bond of affection with
everybody. Thakurma treated the elderly women as mothers and the
others as brothers and sisters, and they, in turn, showed, in their
behaviour, esteem and reverence for Thakurma's holy ways. That
unsolicited (gift) of theirs helped in meeting the need for the time being.
After collecting such vegetables, and cutting them up as
required, Thakurma would deliver them at the kitchen and then take her
bath.

The Songs Thakurma Sang.

This song
depicts
motherly
love of Ma
Yashoda
for Gopal,
the divine
child
Krishna.
She is here
telling her
husband Na
da
 Baba(Ruler
of Vraj) ab
out a dream
she had.
The song
ends with a
reminder to
Krishna
that He is
the divine
Master of
all.

Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi spoke about one song (as under),
which Thakurma used to sing:

Oh! the Ruler of Vraj,

Please listen:

Tonight, after appearing

In my dam,

Know not, where Gopal

Has hidden Himself again.

The restless MOON-

The Darling, kept pulling

The edge of my sari,

And crying,

"Oh mother, please

Give me fresh butter!

Give me fresh butter!"

As the Darling

Continued crying,

Demanding "Cream, mother,

 Cream please",

I kept saying,

"Where is the leisure?

Who will give Thee cream?"

And t that instant,

I pushed aside,

Saying,

"Get away, get away."

Then, after brushing away

The dust from His body,

And picking up the Darling,

I wiped the moon-face

Of the MOON Itself

With the edge of my sari.

Then the MOON

Cried out again and again,

For the moon (in the sky).

The MOON who represents

Tens of millions of moons,

Why should He cry

For such moons repeatedly?

I assured Him then,

 "Among the moons Thou art

The one untainted MOON.

Tens of millions of moons

Seek refuge at Thy feet!"

(Further), we heard from Ma's mouth that Thakurma used to sing the
following type of song too : *
This song
refers to the
galling
misbehavio
ur of the
sister-in-
law
(husband's
sister) and
mother-in-
law of Sri
Radha, the
divine
lover,
condemnin
g her
meeting Sri
Krishna,
the divine
Beloved.

O� Courier! I am being consumed

Due to repeated tormentation

By my sister-in-law

Through her curses and wrath,

And agony caused in me.

Also, by my mother-in-law

Who is (fierce) like a tigress.

1 am being consumed

Due to repeated tormentation,

Oh courier!
She hummed so many such songs pertaining to Thakur, always mentally
and also while going round in the jungles. Taking Ma in her
company, Thakurmaused to sing these songs to Her. May
be, Thakurma would be engaged in clearing rice and pulses off grits,
etc., humming a tune at the same time, when Ma would sometimes
interrupt, saying: "Than Didi (an address of love to grandmother), do
please sing a song-within my hearing" - as if the two were friends.

Thakurma�s Japa - From Counting to Beyond Counting

The other activity of Thakurma was to devote a long time in performing

her daily sandhya-annhik. She took her meals only after all this was
over. Sitting for sandhya, as she continued doing the japa, she became
so much absorbed in it that the fixed number of japa (repetition of the
name of the Ishta) for the day could not be completed, which resulted in
delay.

It was a job for her to complete the japa after repeated achamans.**
** Achama
n is the act
of sipping a
little water
from one's
right palm
three times
while
uttering a
particular
mantra bef
ore
commence
ment of
worship of
any other
religious
ceremony.

After meals, there was hardly any time left before the day ended.

Thakurma would spend almost twenty-four hours of the day in this way,
and regarding household affairs, she did not know how to give thought
on the way they were managed.

Ma in the Play of Displaying Vibhuti to Thakurma

As we know, Ma's Thakurma was good natured and much advanced in

age too. Ma indulged in light humour with her as if they were friends.
One day, after finishing her sandhya, she was going towards the dining
room while muttering something, no one knows what, in an indistinct
 language and hardly audible. She was probably repeating the name of
her Ishta at that time. Ma was, then, about seven or eight years old.

She told Her grandmother,' "I notice that you have been saying only this
one particular word all the time."

The grandmother was surprised and said: "How could you know what I
have been saying? It is not proper for all this to come out of the mouth of
children."

Ma sat down immediately, keeping quiet like a good little girl.

On another day, when Ma told Thakurma something, there was a

transportation of bhava all over her body. A little later she said: "I lost
my senses, as it were, as soon as I heard you!" Ma stared at her face
vacantly, like one non-plussed. Ma's Thakurma never had any education;
she was illiterate.

When Thakurma had some conversation with Ma, sometimes the

atmosphere there would assume such a gravity that the fact that Ma was
only a small girl would be as if she lost sight of during the talk.

Village Kheora - Divine Influence of its Bhava: life of Thakurma, a

Yogini.

There was yet another significant facet. In some homes, food was
cooked with vegetables bought, but the curries prepared
with Thakurma's pot-herbs and their fresh soft stalks - all these
constituted, as it were, nourishing delicious dishes for all. The thought
about the quality of foodstuff cooked, whether it was good or bad in
comparison to that of others, never arose in any ones mind; contentment
was always there.

However, it did occur in the corner of our minds that such was the (poor)
provision of Ma's food at that time!

With a peculiar sad bhava, we were, then, seated close to Ma.

Noticing our bhava, Ma remarked: "Oh, certainly you have never eaten
such things, neither will you ever do so. To a few drops of oil in a
container on fire, a little spice is added, and after cutting thick slices of
radish, they are left there. A little turmeric, salt and chilli powder (or red
pepper) are then added, the contents stirred together and water poured in.
The container is, afterwards, taken out of fire as soon as the radish pieces
are boiled.

This soup, when taken with rice and raw radish, is very delicious.

What is wrong with it? Your cooked food, according to foreign style too
(is like this): health is maintained by having boiled vegetables. Ulcers
and other maladies and operations were not there. Why are you looking
so glum with such a facial expression and mental state?

Village Kheora, despite its bushes and jungles all around, what a solemn
divine influence one could experience in the midst of it all! Thakur -
Puja was performed daily, and in the evening too, incense and resin were
burnt and oil lam lighted (before the Deity). The environment itself of
the place was, as if enchanting, sustaining a holy inspiration. No touch of
any bhava of poverty could be felt there, as it were.

This (poverty) too was well-nourished, one does not know how, by the
influence of the place, other-worldly and sweet Ma's Thakurma too,
leading the life like that a yogini, kept her-self engaged day and night,
aiming at her own objective in joy.

That, in the world, there was happiness and comfort which yielded
earthly pleasures to be enjoyed was an aspect of life that had no place at
all to be reckoned with. The question did not arise in any way - such was
her way in this respect too. Again, she had a small wooden box with
nothing in it except a silver coin, and that box too she had given away to
Mokshada Sundari Devi. Let alone (the question of) her having any bag
and baggage of her own, she did not have even a small bundle of
clothing. Such was the form of aspects pertaining to all those desires.

With an inner joy, uniform and uninterrupted, she remained calm,

composed and serious. After she had brought her daughter-in-law into
the family, she became as if free forever, and all at once, from the point
of view of domestic chores. This clearly showed the special trait of her
character.

Mokshada Sundari�s all-round Seva of mother-in-law.

In regard to seva rendered by Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi to her

mother-in-law, it had, indeed, the following characteristics -As far as
 possible, the wearing apparels of the mother-in-law were maintained
intact and kept clean and well-tucked away. Also, after her meals were
cooked, rice, curry, etc., were kept ready in a big marble plate. The floor
(where food was served) was swept clean, water sprinkled over it and
(food served) in a spirit of offeringbhog (to a deity) with reverence. A
glass of water was kept there, and salt, green chillies, etc., too,
separately. Further, Mokshada Sundari Devi kept a vigil (over the served
food) till the mother-in-law sat down to take her meal. Generally, the
former herself kept the vigil, but occasionally, she made Ma sit for this
purpose. When the mother-in-law sat down to eat, Mokshada Sundari
Devi remained nearby doing something or the other, and attended to her
as the need arose. Her bed on which she slept was also a special one-
clean as far as possible, with all the things she needed any time also kept
secure at the right place.

Thakurma's One-pointedness - Many In One, One in Many.

While talking about Her Thakurma, Ma said: "Eli! She was within
herself the ochre-robed yogini." With her presence in the context of the
particular background, she gave as much company as she could for a few
days in this form too. When Ma was talking about the yogini form
of Thakurma, She was referring to her subtle yogini form.

Whenever Ma's Thakurma took up something to do, she completed that

task with single-minded concentration.

It was noticed that her attention would not normally be diverted to

anything else.

Ma said: "This is the aspect of one-pointedness-the One that is many

in One,

in many, that same One;

it is that one-pointedness in which it is complete.

Where the kriya is perfect, there the self reveals as perfect.

There only Infinity is in One,

the One is in Infinity - the One only�

 is in two also,

and those two are, indeed, in One too.

That the Self alone exists in the form of a complete Indivisible Whole

-this truth has to reveal all points;

it pertains to that one-pointedness (of Thakurma)."

Revelation of Thakurma�s One-pointedness

In sadhaka�s Life through One-pointed Unbroken sadhana:

Warning about tile Way heading to a Fall�

Question : Ma, we must have a sustained desire for satsang. In fact, we

do join that, as available. Is not this verily our duty?

Ma: "Yes, you must join Satsanga. Sadhakas and sadhikas should accept
advice, if it is in conformity with that of their own Guru, and reject it, if
not so. If one delivers lecture after studying the
Ra'izayana, the Bhagavat and other scriptures, etc., and if that helps
anyone, who by understanding them, gains what he did not have before,
to pursue the journey leading to tha Supreme Objective; also, if the
speaker himself too, being already established in that enlightened and
inspiring state pertaining to satsanga, was marching towards the
Supreme State-this aspect of kriya being of his own, as he himself is
engaged to get merged (in that state) then, this is, indeed, a matter
of Ananda.

But without attaining that state, and only through studies and repeated
listening of scriptures, if one aspires after name and fame, hankers for
devotees and disciples, men, money and landed property, where these
propensities exist-there, one must be prepared to suffer from
unhappiness born out of various wants in respect of these items.
However, where there is journey for attainment through sadhana, one
should understand as to which way one is moving. Where evil appears in
the garb of auspicious-ness, nobody knows where one will be led to at
any moment. Even when, at any time, the thought, '1 am talking about
 spiritual truth to people' is harboured in the corner of the mind, and if
with this pretence, kriya sustaining self-interest is indulged in, one does
not know when and to what a state pertaining to joys and sorrows of the
domain of mind, one will land in, on being caught by fond attachment
through public contact, resulting in being adversely deflected from the
path leading to the Supreme Objective.

What shape this will cause to be taken gradually before the masses, is
very difficult to comprehend in the realm of mind.

Therefore, sadhaka, be on your guard, on your guard, on your guard!

One must definitely shun the way leading to what is harmful, what will
bring a downfall and cause hindrance in attaining the Supreme Slate. It is
the special duty of a sadhaka to remain devoted to his journey aiming at
the Supreme State. That a sadhaka-tapasvi should strive day and night
without break in all his activities by body and mind for the fulfilment of
the objective-this must be kept in mind."

When a sadhaka is devoted to unbroken sadhana in his journey aiming

at the realization of his Svarupa, his desire for all attainments in this
state is centred in his objective only. This is the state when his objective,
the particular form of Bhagavan is revealed. Therefore, without the
intense awakening of longing for realization, where can there be the
revelation of the objective in fullness?

The above statement is in the context of the kingdom of sadhaka, where

the journey is initiated by a sadhaka to realize his objective. But where
there is revelation of Bhagavan Himself, this longing has its own place
too. All the same, what is the Svarupa of this longing In the context of
the revelation ofBhagavan, the longing too for His revelation is identical
with Him, because where can there be a second entity with longing
remaining apart.

In other words, the longing finds its fulfilment in the revelation

of Bhagavan, where there remains no entity apart from Him to long for.
Therefore, when it isBhagavan only in the form of this
longing, Bhagavan reveals, He alone, the only One. Here sadhaka,
sadhana, longing, revelation-all is in the Svarupa of One, the One only
in Self-revelation, where the question of revelation, and absence of
revelation has no place, when the object of revelation and one who longs
for revelation are identical, then only takes place
 the Purnahuti (finishing oblation) of longing (end of all longing) in the
object of revelation. All longings are then satisfied. That is why it is said
: the longing too for the revelation of the Self is the Self only, the
revelation too is the Self in the Self.

In the light of the above investigation, the longing and prayer

of Thakurma in connection with the advent of Ma-What is its Svarupa?

Obviously, it is Ma only - who is Thakurma in the form of longing and

prayer.

In this chapter, we noticed that Thakurma is free from all attachments,

with her innate simple form, herself in herself, sustained
by bhava of Bhagavan. It is to be particularly taken note of that there is
no place for a second objective of her desire, it cannot possibly be too.
Because the one for whom she appeared, it was in that one-pointedness,
that is, the many in One and that One alone in many, it was that One.
Therefore, it was One appearing as two, Herself in the form of longing
for Her own revelation, Ma Herself being Thakurma.

CHAPTER THREE
Kanya Dan*: Form of kriya.

Regarding the Couple as Shiva Durga**

Transcendental in Mundane
*Ceremonial handing over of daughter in marriage.

**Eternal Divine couple with Shiva as the Supreme Being and

Durga, His Inseparable Divine Energy-as Mother of the Universe.

MA AND GRIHASTASHRAM

Pre-Marriage Negotiations

When Ma completed Her twelve years of age, the father got worried
about Her marriage. Ma's youngest maternal uncle knew how to read a
horoscope. He took Ma's horoscope and would not return it even after he
had been asked to do so repeatedly.
 For this reason, Her parents thought that there must be something
unfavourable in it. Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Mahasaya belonged to
Vidyakut's famous respected Bhattacharya families of the lineage of
Kashyap Rishi. Ordinarily, they never gave their daughter in marriage
anywhere but in the district of Vikrampur. Many matrimonial proposals
from good and well-to-do families came from the region of Ma's birth
place, but they were all refused.

In the first proposal for marriage of Ma, negotiated by Shriyukt Bipin

Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya, the prospective bridegroom was a
widower with two sons and a daughter too. He was a
big zamindar (landlord), handsome and learned. (But)
Ma's Thakurma said: "I shall not approve this proposal for this marriage,
because the groom is a widower, however rich the family may be."
Hence, the negotiation fell through.

A photograph of this prospective groom with his sons and daughter had
also been brought by someone. All were having a look at it. At that time
Ma was passing by one side of the courtyard on Her way to the ghat of
the tank. As soon as She went beyond everybody's gaze, She started
moving with a rhythm in a dancing pose, and looking up at the trees,
while waving Her hands slowly, began humming a tune, as it were,
'Photograph, Photograph, Photograph', as if this was also a verse of a
song. A grandfather of Ma asked from behind: "Hey! What are you
saying?" At once Ma shrank, as it were, through bashfulness. In those
villages, how many people had ever seen a photograph, I do not know.

Many of them, perhaps, may not even have heard about photographs.

About the Bridegroom.

Hidden Indication In Ma's Words

Ultimately, Ma's father himself went to village Dokachhi in district

Vikrampur, looking for a groom. Meanwhile, Ma told
Her Thakurma and mother: "I saw Police and
inspector." Thakurma asked: "Where did you sec ?" Ma replied: "In this
house only!" The father was not at home; and Ma, from Her childhood,
had always been quite peculiar in Her talks and behaviour, and so they
were worried. Police, Police inspector, etc., had been seen in the
neighbourhood in connection with a theft case elsewhere. What will
happen now: will the Police come here then?
 Whatever it was, Ma's father returned home suddenly, one day, with
Sitanath Kushari Mahasaya of Dokachhi.

This gentleman was the eldest brother-in-law of Bholanath (Ma's future

husband). Kushari Mahasaya had come to see Ma after having almost
completed the negotiations (about the marriage). The next day, when Ma
was sitting in the verandah, in front of the kitchen, Kushari Mahasaya
came slowly near Her and asked: "What is your name?", and also put
certain other questions.

Ma told Her name and also answered all questions.

He was satisfied with the answers. Meanwhile, Mokshada Sundari Devi

came and Kushari Mahasaya conversed also with her. Later on, choosing
one auspicious day, he came and blessed Ma, and went back. Bholanath
was, then, working in the Police Department.

It became clear that what Ma had seen was what Bholanath's

employment then was. Her conversation at that time had conveyed
concisely how Bholanath would appear in this household at first and
how he would be in the end.

Did anybody think about it in this way? Certainly not.

The day of the marriage was fixed.

It was to be held in the Indian month of Magha (January-February).

Within a few days, after Kushari Mahasaya had left, Ma's Thakurma fell
ill and breathed her last.

Mokshada Sundari Devi, on her part, engrossed in Thakurma�s

seva in its completeness, kept on uttering (in her ear) the name (of
her Ishta) during her last moments and did all that was required to be
done at such a time (according to the traditional religious practice).

As for Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya, he was, in his

usual way, engrossed, as ever, in doing kirtan, oblivious of everything
else.

Where was he physically at that time?

 After a search and some persuasion, he came back and completed his
mother's last rites. Later, he observed the rules according to the
injunctions of theShastras and also had Habishanna*.
*Boiled rice with ghee, which one is supposed

to take for a prescribed period on a near one�s death.

Amidst this, he went to Tripura's capital Agartala to arrange for an

elephant for the groom's marriage procession. About the proposal for
marriage, the old men and old women of the village who were related to
Ma as well as others of the same age-group started teasing Her in various
ways, but Ma maintained the same one bhava, namely, just listening to
what was said.

Gradually, the day of marriage drew near, the religious ceremonies of

the grandmother had already been completed, and when, at the end of the
year, theshradha ceremony was over, the time also arrived for handing
over the bride ceremonially. Arrangement had been made to keep an
elephant ready for use at Kasba. It was decided that the procession
should start from there.

The groom and party arrived in time at Kasba Kali temple.

After the Vridhi Kriya* was performed, the groom mounted the elephant,
the procession started and arrived at Kheora at the previously appointed
place on the date fixed, with the band playing ahead. Meanwhile, all of
them, who had to come from Vidyakut and Sultanpur, had also arrived.
They had made Ma sleep in a room of a different house situated on the
east and brought Her along at the right time.

Marriage - Ma in Identity with that Form of Kriya

The wedding was over when Ma's age was twelve years and ten months.
Ma did whatever She was told to do at the time of marriage and,
accordingly, standing and sitting, as required, She carried out all
instructions given to Her by anyone. When the moment (for marriage
ceremony) arrived, She was taught how to throw flowers, etc., made of
woody stalks of jute plants by a grandmother of Ma with her own hand.
That there must be Shubh Ddyhti* (the first exchange of glances)
between the bride and the bridegroom, had not been told to Ma by
anybody.
*

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Hence, She did what She was told to do by that grandmother, but where
was the exchange of glances a they have to be exchanged. On the
contrary, Ma was looking skyward at the spectators who had
congregated in a group there.

At Ashtagram, Bajitpur and other places, when all that of Ma was going
on (Ma was, then, deeply engaged in Her play of sadhana with absolute
indifference to the world), on Bholanath's mentioning about this absence
of exchange of glances to his friends in their friendly talks, they too
remarked:

"Yes, yes, really it is so; perhaps all this is due to this reason - the family
life has not functioned with the normal bond."

At the end of the marriage ceremony, there was havan (oblation of fire),
etc., next day. Sri Lakshmicharan, an old famous pundit of the village,
performed this oblation. In village relationship, he was Ma's grandfather.
While performing this (religious ceremony), he said with eyes moist
with tears and while drawing attention of Bholanath,

"Grandson, you will know what jewel you are taking home!"

The son of this pundit too, it is reported, had, while pointing towards
Ma, sometime told someone: "Her shining complexion is becoming
visible through Her clothing; She is not an ordinary person (human
being)."

That day, after the oblation, etc., were over, Ma's youngest maternal
uncle feasted Bholanath lavishly with love and respect. A variety of
dishes of rice, curry and other eatables in a set of well-matched glass and
small katories (bowls), nicely arranged in a large plate was placed before
Bholanath after seating him on an asana placed en the pointed wooden
seat that had been given to him as a wedding present.

On the occasion of this marriage of Nirmala-the beloved niece of the

youngest maternal uncle, who had always treated Her with reverence
internally and affection outwardly-his uncle gave as many wedding gifts
as his means permitted. We know that he never gave back the horoscope
of Ma after taking it away to read it. That Ma would definitely never be
tied down in family life, was a fact, which must not only be not disclosed
at that juncture, but should rather be guarded as a top secret.

Perhaps this was the reason for hiding the horoscope.

It is understood that all the manifestations with their distinctive

character, such as love and affection from parents and other relations
relate to actions in the context of a particular time. This too has been
noticed that there was appropriate behaviour in keeping with the
relationship of grandmother and granddaughter, and after that the
grandmother breathed her last at the juncture of day and evening, with
the granddaughter standing before her. Theshradha ceremony and
other kriyas were performed completely, and then, in a few days time
there was the occasion for giving away the daughter in marriage.
A Kumari (unmarried girl) is (in reality) the Bhagavati Herself. The
giving away of a bride ceremonially is carried out according to the
injunctions of Shastras, and all these kriyas (the various actions per-
formed during the marriage ceremony by Ma), as appropriate in the
context of each particular place in the sequence, are forms of the Self
transforming as the Self-same.

In the Reality, where there is inaction in action, that, of course, is there*

* It should
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 alone is.
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these are our intimate thoughts. Indeed, all these aspects (of
Ma's lila) related to where creation, sustenance and dissolution take
place and again do not take place too. In all kriyas pertaining to all such
aspects, in fact, in every kriya, the Tattwa (truth of Ma's Svarupa) is
expressed, Un-folded. On the other hand, that which is manifest-un-
manifest Svarupa, where is that unmanifest? It just floats in the mind
appearing faintly. It constantly occurs in the mind; indeed, all these
provide a repeated touch of that unrestricted, unlimited complete
revelation, taking place in the world and beyond, in the mind and
beyond-this is what we have to realize through a firm comprehension.
This comes from the depth of my mind.

After the wedding was over and while leaving Kheora, all others were
weeping bitterly. Joining them, Ma also cried, as judged from external
behaviour, in such an unusual way that some people remarked that
nobody had been seen to weep like that. It was only a small village and
the way She wept produced a response of crying in many when She left.

Afterwards, when Ma came back to Kheora, calling Her in a gathering of

grandfathers, grandmothers and all others, they remarked: "Oh God!
What a crying it was! Hearing it, sitting in our own rooms, we could not
help crying with a mind heavily grief-stricken! It appeared from
their bhava and talks as if something very extraordinary, which could not
 be explained, had left the village. When Ma was asked about this, She
said:

"In the case of this body, (regarding) all that presents itself at any time,
what happens, let it be."

Is this the Child Bahu, Covered With the Veil?

Transport by boat was the only means of travel to and from Kheora during rainy season. In other
seasons, one could go on foot or be carried in a palanquin. While going to the father-in-law's
house, after the marriage., Ma was made to board a train at Kasba Railway Station along with all
the luggage.

Meanwhile, it was suddenly announced that they would have to change their compartment. Ma,
with the veil on, was sitting quietly, when She was told: "You will have to shift to a different
compartment; be quick, there is no time left, get down!"

All the luggage had been piled up in front, and there was no passage even to move. Well, no more
was Ma the child-wife with a veil on! At once She got up and began helping in removing all the
luggage out of the compartment by pushing it out quickly, and got down after getting the whole
work completed, as if with a robust heroism, tact and lightning speed. This scene was enacted
before the eyes of Sitanath Kushari Mahasaya.

Afterwards, he used to often mention this incident, as if a feeling of affection and regard remained
jointly rooted in his heart (with the thought): "This girl, for Her, how was it possible to have this
feat accomplished by Her hands?' He was simply amazed.

The bhava that presented itself at any time, Ma appeared in identification

with it completely. When a girl-child, She was the object of love and
affection to all, and in that context, Ma too identified Herself in those
respective forms of a child. That is why it has been mentioned, the
appropriate kriyas at appropriate times in response to love and affection
from father, mother and relatives, identifying Herself with the form of
the relation between a grandmother and granddaughter, She, again,
watched while standing, the end of Thakurma unaffected.

Here, it is the occasion of marriage of Ma, the kriya pertaining to

handing over the bride ceremonially. Kumari (a virgin) is, in fact,
the Svarupa ofBhagavati, so the kriya pertaining to handing over should
be according to the precepts of the Shastras.

With due observation of all those kriyas, Ma identified Herself with the
patterns of those respective forms. This pattern itself is being
called Svarupita Kriya (transformation of the self in the self in the form
of kriya). That is, the kriyas in entirety as the bride during Her marriage,
are Ma Herself Svarupita(transformation of the self in the self), there
 cannot of course, be any question of other different changed forms. In
the context of such kriyas, Ma should be noticed in the background of
absence of kriya as well. That is, in the Reality where the question of
any kriya does not arise, there itself, again, is kriya.Therefore, it is to be.
understood that the forms of such kriyas is Ma Herself-that is
why Svarupita.

Let that aspect of the Svarupa of Bhagavan be seen in the light of the
above investigation. Where there is creation, sustenance and dissolution,
there, at those places, changes take place. But in all changes, there is
absence of change too, and so it is said:

the place where creation, sustenance, dissolution take place, yet,

again, they do not take place as well. That is, even being all, not to be
any, since it is Bhagavan, the One alone.

Therefore, this statement is applicable in the case of

the Svarupa of Bhagavan only.

That is why about Ma, it has been said in connection with

every kriya, there is Tattwa, unfolded, expressed.

That is, each kriya, in fact, is Ma. The manifest form of such kriya is the
little that could be observed and what remains beyond observation-it is
the unmanifest and remaining inseparable too. For this reason, it is said :
this Svarupa manifest unmanifest-where is that unmanifest ?

All this pertaining to Ma is for ourselves only - the way they will give a
touch in our mind. In the form of jagat, beyond Jagat, in mind beyond
mind, in all, She is Abadh completely.

CHAPTER FOUR

Field of Perfect Seva

(Where) He alone is Object of Seva

MA in grihastashram
 At the time of departure from Kheora, Mokshada Sundari Devi had
counselled Ma that a woman must always guard her chastity; even if life
is lost in doing so, she must not give up her chastity. (Also) Whatever the
husband or the guardians may ask Her to do, She must obey silently.
Immediately after marriage, Bholanath left for his place of employment.
He too advised Ma to obey his eldest brother and his wife. Well, with
this began the role of implicit obedience on the part of Ma.

On the next day after marriage, Ma was taken to Sripur, where Revati
Babu, the eldest brother of Bholanath was in service. The wife of the
next elder brother of Bholanath too was there after her marriage. Her
name was Prafulla Devi. At that time Revati Babu was employed as
Station Master of Sripur Railway Station. His wife (mother of Ashu)
remarked with pleasure: "This is nice, the names of my companions
from early years at school were Prafulla and Nirmala, and now my
sisters-in-law too bear the same names.

Dexterity in Seva - Didima's Prediction Given a Living Form

When Ma was first taken to Sripur, She noticed, on reaching there, that
Ashu's mother was ill. There were eruptions of small boils all over her
body, which caused itching, and which could not be cured in any way.

Ma's age, then, was only twelve years and ten months.

On arrival at Sripur, Ma engaged Herself all the time, day and night in
domestic chores, obeying the instructions of elders. Cooking, taking care
of the children of the elder brother of Her husband, keeping the house
tidy, cleaning utensils and doing all kinds of other household work, Ma
would attend to all these duties single-handed like a machine. Under
pressure of work, She could not have the Kheyala at all to take food,
comb Her hair, keep Her body tidy-do all this in time. Observing Ma's
dextrous handling of work, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi's words of
assurance, 'you will be able to do everything alright at the proper time,
there is no cause for worry', were proved as a correct prophecy.

Bholanath and the second brother Suren Baba were married almost at the
same time. Suren Babu was older to Bholanath, but Suren Babu's wife
Prafulla was younger to Ma by a few months. That is why Ashu's mother
had said: "Prafulla, you will address Nirmala as Sezdi (third elder sister)
and Nirmala will call you Mejdi (second elder sister). The wife of Suren
Babu, however, did not do much work. When cleaning utensils, she
 would tell Ma: "Sezdi, you do the scrubbing, and I shall do the final
rinsing."

Ma would say: "Alright, and in close co-operation, as with one's own

sisters, the two lived and ate together cheerfully. Nobody liked her
(Prafulla's) cooking."

As a result, Ma had to cook both the meals. At that time, there were
often, at one meal, about ten to twelve mouths to feed.

MA'S KRIYA-PATTERNS OF IDEAL SEVA

Small, Big, All Jobs:

the Object - Faultless

Correct Seva in Joy and Cheerfulness

There were several other aspects too relating to Ma.

To questions in this connection, Ma's reply was that excessive work, less
work; small job, big job; heavy work, light work-no question (of this
type) ever occurred in Her Kheyala. And to take account of the
work: "so much work I have done; to tell others about this would be a
matter of shame and embarrassment, lacking in decorum, and could it be
considered cultured?"

Ma was not the least inclined to do such things.

The way it was possible to do more work, so that everyone could be

looked after properly, according to his need and without any
shortcoming-this is what alone remained in Ma's view in joy and
cheerfulness, with no trace of fatigue or exertion. If any elder was about
to do any work, Ma would take that work from her hands with a smiling
face and do it Herself. That anyone did some work or why did not do
that work - not even an inkling of any such bhava was ever noticed in
Ma. And if someone voluntarily took the responsibility for some work,
Ma would gladly give her a helping hand in Her faultless way.

Again, say, someone else did a piece of work which was not done
properly, and Ma happened to be present - and, if at that time, an elder,
not knowing as to who was responsible for that bad work, blamed Ma
 with harsh words in front of all others, She would listen to that silently.
Under such circumstances, or under any other circumstance, an
appropriate behaviour on the part of Ma was always there, and this
happened by itself. 'It was such and such a person who had done that
work and not I' - making this kind of protest or nursing a feeling to that
effect was altogether absent in Ma.

To Ma, this too would be shameful; however, Ma is in Her

unchanged bhava.

To talk in such a fashion is, after all, not polite; it would be an uncivil,
unmannerly action. In time, the truth does prevail. Later, for some reason
or the other, when it (the truth) was heard from someone else, then it was
noticed that in that elder, in repentance, the kindly feeling, affection and
esteem for Ma was enhanced still more, as it were.

Pattern of Junior's Action with Respect for Elder

No place for Winning Praise or Good Name

Answering a query on this topic, Ma also said that the duty of the
younger is to take away the work from the hands of the elder when the
latter is about to do it and do the same herself. If the elder be still keenly
desirous of doing the work herself, then, for the sake of maintaining her
respect, the younger should leave the work in the hands of the elder, but,
at the same time, be careful to stay behind and appropriately assist in the
work. The pattern of taking away the work from the elder should be a
swift one, done in a pleasant bhava while remaining calm, composed and
steady. When conversing with the elder, one should, while maintaining
equanimity, make queries with eyes cast down towards the ground and in
answering questions be careful to maintain truth. Supposing one is just
sitting idle, then, as soon as an elder approaches, one should stand up
with courtesy. At all times, the clothes, etc., must be kept covering the
body properly. One should never talk excitedly with gesticulations in the
presence of elders. Nothing should be done with the object of gaining
praise and prestige for one-self. None, whether old or young, should be
hurt through one's words and behaviour, and one must be particularly
careful in this respect.

Atithi Narayana

Cheedui bhava to he maintained in his Seva

 During the course of Ma's grihastashram, such were the beautiful patterns of Her seva in various
ways. If an atithi (guest) came, whether in time or untimely, it was Ma alone who would cook for
him, attend to arrangements from behind to make the guest feel at home, and all this was a
pleasure for Ma. On account of this seva, if Ma Herself was late to take food, there was some
adverse comment (on that account). It was in Ma's kheyala that harbouring of any mood to give a
rejoinder must find no quarter in Herself-in fact, it must never take place. Because an atithi is
looked upon as Narayana, so one must entertain a specific bhava of cheerfulness while serving
him. A seva rendered in a dissatisfied mood is futile. One does not feel any exertion or fatigue
when serving one's own people. In the same way, one must maintain an amiable disposition when
serving others. Of course, the service suitable for an Ashram is a distinct one. Charity with
disrespect and behaviour with indifference produce distress. In one's external dealings with others,
one should maintain a proper code of behaviour in talking-a disciplined, composed, sober and
cheerful disposition as befitting the occasion. In movement and talk, one should definitely be civil
and of commendable behaviour.

We have heard that there were endless praises as well for Ma.

But in the case of Ma, it was out of question to take notice of that. She
would just carry on with Her attention focussed on what was required to
be done and how it should be done.

Seva: Kriya without self-Praise

An effective Means to enhance Sat Karma Shakti (Power to do

Virtuous Acts)

Sometimes, Ma Herself had done some work, but one who happened to
be present there got the praises, thinking that it was that one who had
done that work. At that time (to think) that I did it and the praises were
due to me-an expression of this sort, even by any kind of hint-or by any
trace too of such a feeling was never there in Ma. (Because), though it
was true, yet it certainly would be self-praise. For Ma, this was also a
shameful act and a cause of embarrassment. In fact, in Ma there was no
place for giving any thought on or having any consideration for all such
matters.

She would, of course, go on doing what had to be done in Her natural

way. In reply to queries in this context, Ma said:

"One derives one's own benefit through seva, understand this.

It increases only one's own power to do good deeds. One can learn
various kinds of jobs. And it is right that one should work with joy,
to make progress quickly, ahead of all. Otherwise, it is only giving
indulgence to indolence and lethargy, that is, one does positive harm
to oneself in life's journey, resulting in suffering for oneself only.
 All-round cleverness is required.

Unless there is competence with cool temperament, how will one get
on. Whichever line is chosen, one must not be a failure the; only then
can one acquire skill in work. And this skill can even arouse the
technique of action, favourable for the journey leading to the
Supreme Objective. (This is so) because, through seva, indeed, is the
way to purification of mind, (and) it is you who say so."

Lapse in Karma �

To accept one's Error with a Smiling Face:

An Aid to Character Building

Look whatever the work, it should be performed well.

If any work has gone wrong through someone, the thought that I have
not done it, but someone else has, must not be kept in the mind, nor
should there be an expression of it through words. What was held by this
body was this: the work has gone wrong, whether it was through this
hand or through another, it is the same thing.

Hence, when it is not done properly, whatever (harsh words) have to be

said (about it) will be spoken and those words will have to be listened to.
Since the work has, indeed, been spoiled, as a result, one has the right to
charge (the worker), whoever he may be. Otherwise, how will the lesson
be learnt to work carefully in future?

And this accusation is the lesson and should be accepted smilingly. In

this situation too, it should be so. That is why when one is blamed for an
act, one should take it with a joy. One must admit the fault if there be
any defect in one's work, and should not make various excuses to hide
the fault, because this is very harmful from the point of view of character
building. This is lying and an action wrong in principle, leading to
sorrow and suffering.

Proper building of a good character is absolutely essential for all human

beings.

Seva and Seva Alone

 No thought of Consequence, whatever Happens Whenever, Let it
be�

(During) whatever little respite Ma had in the midst of work, Ashu�s

mother would call Ma and ask Her to scratch her body. She had not told
Ma that immediately after scratching, She has to wash Her hands.

And, as for Ma, She would have no Kheyala, indeed, in such cases all
the time.

Seva meant seva only (in the truest sense of the term).

On hearing this, someone asked Ma about this point: "Ma, according to

your statement, we understand that (with you) things take place by itself
this particular way too, in the present case?"

Ma smiled and said:

"Understand it like this; suppose the Kheyala too was there that one
should wash hands immediately after scratching the scab. Even then, in
the corner of her (Ashu's mother's) mind she would have felt that
perhaps there is a feeling of aversion in Her to scratch, or else why
should She wash Her hands time and again. Probably (because of this)
she may have hesitated even to call (me) freely without delicacy, for this
work. For this body, at that time, there was, of course, no such aspect
(feeling of aversion), nor does it ever arise.

Seva is after all seva; whatever my take place in the context of any
particular time! Does one wash one's hands every time after scratching
one's own body-just tell me ?"

Ma's hands are delicate and soft.

As a result, some itching scabs appeared on Her fingers.

Later on, there was some abnormality on finger nails and on other parts
of the body.

Before Ashu's mother became quite fit physically, the wife of the second
brother went to her father's place. Later, Ashu's mother became well. Ma
would, after feeding the rest of the inmates of the house, sit alone in the
kitchen and have her meal. One day, Ashu�s mother came and on
 seeing what Ma was eating, exclaimed: "What is this; for yourself, you
have not kept sufficient quantity of pulse soup and vegetable curry, and
are having rice after adding water only. I understand now that you do not
know how to apportion food and serve. He who does not know how to
eat does not know how to cook either. From now on, you will have to sit
with me and eat."

When there was not enough left to eat, Ma used to add water to rice and
finish Her meal with it only. But from that day onward, for one year and
a half, Ashu's mother made Ma sit with her and eat.

Revati Babu �

Ma Looked Upon with Love and Affection:

A Move towards the Goal in the Context of Supreme Objective

One day, at noon, Ma was running high temperature. She did not even
take food properly, but had not disclosed it to anyone. Ashu's mother
called Ma and asked Her to comb her hair a little. Ma started doing so.
Then, feeling the heat of Ma's palm, Ashu's mother exclaimed: "Are you
running temperature? Surely, it is, very high already! You better go and
lie down."

Ma obeyed as She was asked to do.

When Revati Babu returned home, he said: "Probably Babu Ma (wife of

younger brother) has high temperature, otherwise She is not one who
would lie down. In spite of a strict barrier, enforced during those days
between the elder brother and younger brother's wife, all favour-able and
unfavourable conditions Ma would be in, would, somehow, strike a
compassionate note in the heart of Revati Babu. When any good thing
was brought and distributed among the children, he would ask Ashu's
mother: "Hope you have not missed giving it to Babu Ma,�" as if Ma
was also one of his daughters-such was his feeling (towards Ma).

Many years after his death, once, somewhere, Ma saw that Revati Babu,
in his subtle form, had come to Her and was saying: "Ma, you have to
give me something."

It was as if (someone was making) a tender-hearted entreaty (expressing)

a desire to get (something).
 In this context, Ma had said: "The act of bestowal too took place by
itself, as it were, in some way by this body." Instantly, it was observed
that simultaneously with an expression of joy, he got transformed and
then, in his way, was on the move to reach his objective. During the
lifetime of Revati Babu, it was the aspect of cordial relation as to a
daughter that was distinctly visible in his relationship with Ma, in the
form of his younger brother's wife.

In this relationship we have not heard anything else pertaining to the

spiritual side. After death he came to know Her as Ma, and made a
prayer in Her proximity to get (something) what is the basis for this?

For a few days (during his lifetime), he had looked upon Ma with deeply
felt affection; it is likely that this provided the basis for him to be in the
present form now in the context of the Supreme Objective.

Someone, it is reported had even asked Ma this: "Ma, was it specially for
the sake of Revati Babu and Labanya (his daughter) that you had lived in
their family for this short period? Actually, it was observed that
immediately after his demise, Ma, you were free for your play of
Sadhana in your own bhava.

Ma's Dealings, High Dexterity in Karma � in all this too - THAT
only,

Whatever Happens, Let it be�

Ma, we know, had a tender, soft body, was very young in age, and yet
sitting in a small room under a tin-shed, had to cook in the heat of fire
both times. Moreover, Ma's hand and feet too were tender and soft, and
so, while walking barefooted over a paved floor, using water frequently
in doing so much work, for so many people, She got sores with swelling
between toes and also between fingers. Things continued like this for
quite a few days.

Question: Well Ma, where did all these ways and patterns of your work
come from? You are the daughter of a family where you did not even see
or hear about all such work. All these dealings and ideas of great skill in
work-how is it possible to have them in all spheres?

Ma: "Oh Baba! (the actions of) this body are, indeed, elomelo, as you
have, of course, been observing.
 In all these, too, it is THAT alone.

You draw a line of demarcation between that side and this side, and
thereby reap the fruit of such separation, whereas, here, whatever
happens, let it; taking place by itself."
Cause of Worry - Sense of Duality:

Where Worry for Ma?

Shortly after Ma had joined the family of Bholanath, both he and his next elder brother, Suren
Babu, lost their jobs. Ma was, then, at Sripur with her eldest sister-in-law.

Suren Babu was, of course, later re-employed.

In Bholanath's service, a dangerous situation developed-a lawsuit was filed and even the fear of
imprisonment was the. Bholanath's father was alive at that time. Many of the family members
remained anxious and were almost on the point of giving up food and sleep as none knew what
news would be received. Bholanath's father and Revati Babu-all were shuttling back and forth to
Dacca. As for Ashu's mother, she sometimes reprimanded Ma, shouting: "What an irony of fate is
this, what ill luck has befallen the poor fellow (Bholanath)! And see here, is there the least worry
or anxiety (in Her)?" Continuing, she asked Ma, 'What sort of person are you? Could you realise
the situation?

Look, this is what has happened!"

Ma was called, So She came and had to wait a little standing. After standing and listening to what
was told to Her, She said: "Now, may I go back to work?" What She was, the same, She remained.
The moment She was told: "Go", She left the place.

In this context, once much later, Ma was saying: "To worry, how is it
that one can worry!" Within Herself, there is only this bhava.

Later on, although the issue in Bholanath's case was settled, he lost his
job. Revati Babu and his wife often discussed about Ma �
�is Sejabau an idiot or stupid?�

It does not appear that She understands anything, even a little, and is
devoid of any sense. Just see. She does not have any worry and is always
contented with Her own work. Sometimes, when Ashu's father was in
the room, Ma would have Her veil on.

At that time, supposing Ashu's mother told Ma: "There is that particular
thing, just look for it", Ma would, then, look only (downwards) through
the available opening with the veil on and not see through the cloth of
the veil, because, in the latter case, her eyes would fall on the faces of all
men and women, and that would be wrong behaviour. For this reason, if
anyone noticed the way Ma then moved about, he would think of Her as
an idiot.

But looking at Her aspect of obedience, all loved Her and could not help
having love and affection for Ma.

Ashu's father looked like a prince; he even developed diabetes.

In the rural way of thinking, when a bride joins a family, she is blamed if
any misfortune befalls the household. For instance, such was th saying
that went round, 'As the bride comes in the house, sand falls in the pot
of chhattu (fried gram or barley powder)'. As a result, one can easily
imagine how the feelings of brides were hurt.

Whoever stayed near, that person alone had to put up with all such words
(flung out at her). Ma was the only one who stayed a little longer with
them. Sometimes, supposing she (Ashu's mother) continued accusing
(Ma) in that vein for sometime, it would be seen that eventually a feeling
of affection had arisen in her, as if nothing at all was left in her mind-as
though she had never spoken anything blaming Ma in the least-a
beautiful good feeling. Bholanath felt that as his wife had to be left for
her maintenance with his elder brother, he being himself out of
employment, it would not be right, in those circumstances for him to
remain himself too as another dependant on his brother.

With this consideration, he stayed in Dacca, and moving about to

different places, kept looking for a job.

Sometimes he went to the houses of his other relations too.

In Perfect Seva - where is Leisure for Looking after the Body?

Aggravation of Revati Baba's illness continued. He went to Dacca for

treatment, taking all of them with him.

The treatment in Dacca did not help him much, and as such, he went to
Calcutta. Later, he came back to Dacca, and hen went to Atpara (his own
 village), taking all others with him. He became a littk better with
the Ayurvedic (Indian system of medicine) treatment there.

Ma's hands and feet were tender and, as we know, due to continuous
work with the use of water all the time, She had developed sores
between toes and fingers.

When all of them had arrived from Dacca at their home in the village of
Atpara, some of the ladies of the locality and also the girls from
neighbouring houses of Sudra families commented on looking at
the sores in hands and feet of Ma.

They said to Ma: "What sort of a person you are! Have you no
feeling of any pain in your body, no burning sensation either? Are
you devoid of any physical sensation? Are you not a human being
?" They showed their sympathy in this way.

They did not, of course, know at that time that, by obeying the biddings
given to Her, Ma had to fulfil the aspect of seva in all respects.

Later on, one day while staying at Narundi, Kalipada, the eldest son
of Revati Babu, told his mother: "Mother, the aunt has developed
something unhealthy between Her fingers due to much use of water.
I do not feel like eating from Her hands. When Her hands will be -
conic normal, She will resume cooking; for the time being you
cook."

On this she did not say anything and Ma continued to work as usual.

Implicit Obedience Without Discriminating between Truth and

Falsehood

The girls of sudra family of Atpara mentioned above had a deep love for
Ma. It was usual for them, as reported, to discuss sympathetically the
comforts and discomforts of Ma, while looking upon Her as their own.

Till then, Ma had not even spoken to them, and had Her veil on.

When Ma left the utensils (unwashed after use) at the ghat of the tank for
scrubbing and cleaning, those girls of the Sudra family sometimes
 scrubbed them clean and then left them under water, so that Ma would
not have to undergo the labour of doing the same, and neither would
people get any scent of it.

It so happened one day that Ma, with the veil on, was returning home
from the ghat, carrying the utensils in Her hands after they had been
cleaned. It was common with Ma to have, sometimes, a sudden upsurge
of bhava like lightning. So (in such a bhava), the pile of utensils fell
down from Her hands and the edge of one plate got broken.

The girls of the sudra family saw this.

Because of the severity of illness of Revati Babu, Bholanath was at

Atpara at that time. He stole an opportunity to contact Ma and quickly
gave the following instruction to Her regarding this incident: "You will
have to listen to these words of mine! You must not, at present, disclose
to anybody anything about the breaking of the plate. Serve me dinner on
that broken plate at night."

Bholanath knew that Ma would immediately go and report the fact.

Taking the broken plate in Her hand, She would speak to Ashu's mother
that the plate had slipped out of Her hand and was broken somewhere on
the edge. Then, the way Ashu's mother would take Ma to task, that too
he knew. And it was, indeed, natural that one should be admonished in
such a case.

For Ma, it is obedience only.

She served dinner at night on that broken plate to Bholanath. As

Bholanath was taking food, suddenly was heard a loud noise. What had
happened? On enquiry it was found that the drinking glass had slipped
from the hand of Bholanath and chipped off the edge of the plate. This is
what was publicised. Ma, however, remained in a serious mood, and
kept dumb, because this was the order of Bholanath. Whether Ma
disclosed anything of it to anyone else later on, was known to Her only.

Bholanath acted like this at that time, but later on he might have related
this incident to others. However, Ma told Bholanath: "This is all lies;
was it proper ?"

Bholanath replied: "The girls of that house insisted on my doing this in

such a way that I had to tell you to do this. However, telling a lie is never
correct."About ibis, Ma once said smilingly: "No one had told this body
to keep the chipped part of the plate too there, hence that was not done.
If someone had looked for that chipped part, then all the false trickery
would have been exposed."

It was heard that Bholanath had acted like this in consultation with the
girls of that sudra family so that the Badu may not be taken to task on
account of breaking the plate. Those girls had managed, after a long
persuasion, to have Bholanath agree to act like this. This incident
reminded us of something else.

In Bengal, in a certain ceremony at the time of marriage, the groom is

made to promise three times, in keeping with the custom of women, that
he will cover up the faults and make known the virtues of the bride.

Did Bholanath, recollecting that promise, get it fulfilled in this was

through this single act in the present case? This incident also reveals the
fact that without expecting any reward and not even caring for
commitment of a sin by hiding truth through false action, but only out
of seva of Ma, those girls had done this, showing their extraordinary
sympathy and love for Her.

What earnestness it was that had prompted them to persuade Bholanath

to act like that!

Expression of kriya of Sympathy

Winning of Heart

When Ashu's father was better, they all came back to Sripur from
Atpara. As we know, Ashu's father had great affection for Ma. In those
days, there was strict enforcement of keeping a distance in the relation
between the wife of a younger brother and his elder brother. The wife
could not touch even his shadow, and if by accident one touched the
other, then she would have to fast. Despite this rule, and even while
staying behind the veil, Ma never failed in Her seva to Revati Babu.

One day, on being annoyed with Ashu's mother, Revati Babu was about
to throw away the utensils. On coming down from the first floor, Ma
tried to quickly remove the utensils from where they were kept. In doing
this, She unexpectedly touched Revati Babu, the elder brother of Her
husband through that utensil. That was all, and Ma had to go on a fast,
 etc., the whole day and night without taking a drop of water. The
household chores were, however, attended to practically without any
interruption.

Ma, as one knows, would do everything after taking instructions (from

Ashu's mother). So, when at times, this sort of irritation would be there
between them (Revati Babu and his wife), She would ask her: "What
shall I cook?" Initially perhaps, she would not respond at all for a while.
Later, with the remnant of anger still there, he would reply: "Get
someone to ask him (Ashu's father) and then cook according to his
instructions."

Ma would sit there quietly for sometime, and then, as if affected with a
feeling of sadness and while looking downwards, would ask gently,
again and again:

"Please tell me what to cook, it is almost dusk."

After this sort of thing would go on for sometime, perhaps she would tell
(Ma what to do). This kind of scene used to take place quite often. But
the feeling of affection for Ma was much in evidence in her.

Ma's Reply to Bholanath in the Context of his Letter

Ever unvarying Same Serene Cheerfulness

Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya took Ma to Kheora from

Sripur. It was almost after a year of marriage that Bholanath wrote a
letter (to Ma). Ma was not used to reading letters; no one had ever told
Her (to read a letter), nor bad they taught Her (to read and write a letter).
It was a small village with no post office. There was a post office in
another village, and a postman from there carrying mail (of this village)
would deliver it to one person of this village, and the villagers would sort
it out and distribute it among themselves. Kheora was the place of Bipin
Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya's maternal uncle, hence many people
there were related to Ma as grandfather (in village relationship). Ma had
acquaintance with all in that village and everybody looked upon Ma with
affection. When that letter arrived, well, there was an uproar to tease Ma:
'Now, Nirmala has received a letter from Bholanath! Ma remained in a
serious mood and kept looking down, as if She had not heard anything.

She kept moving away from them in a way as one in embarrassment.

 That letter was given to Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi. In order to
catch Ma's attention, she kept it at a place where Ma moved about. As
for Ma, She never took notice of it, neither did She pick it up. In those
days, it was a matter of embarrassment for the mother to hand over such
a letter to the daughter. Here the daughter was also shy; She would not
do anything which would adversely affect the appearance of
Her bhava of shyness before everyone. So what was to be done? Some
members of the family assembled (to find a way out). One of them
suggested that the letter be dropped in front of Her while She passed by.
Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi did just that. But, as she did not say
anything about it to Ma, so Ma moved about in Her own
(usual)bhava (without picking up the letter).

After quite a few days had passed, a second letter came from Bholanath.

Now, this second letter has arrived! Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi
started worrying terribly, as Bholanath might be annoyed on not getting
any reply. Realizing the situation, two or three persons again got
together, read both the letters and made out a draft reply. A grandmother
of Ma, then, went to Her and said: "Here is this draft, you must make a
verbatim copy of whatever is written in it and then give it to me. You
have not to do anything else. None had told Ma how a copy is made.

Keeping (the draft) before Herself, She copied each word exactly in the
style and in the place it was written and then returned the piece of paper
without any comment. Later on, when Ma was at Bholanath's place, he
asked Her: "Were the contents of the letter written by you?"

Ma related the whole incident.

Feeling as if somewhat hurt, he said: "Had this been known before, who
would have cared to write the letter. Well, our parents have united us;
did you not feel even like enquiring about my well-being ?"

Ma rejoined: "There was no Kheyala at all about it."

Bholanath then said: "Supposing I pass away, I do not live!" On this,

there was not the least sign of a different bhava visible on Ma's face, as
though She was the same in all circumstances. In the same complacent,
simple and artless way,

She replied:
 "Not there, what difference" (since Atma is ever the same).

Bholanath neither became irritated nor was perceptibly hurt even. He

just said: "Your intelligence is that of a mere child. With age one
becomes mature and then springs forth a response to love.' Today
Bholanath is no more, but he had predicted correctly (about his passing
away).

THE SUPREME TATTWA

according to different traditions
Eternal, Transient

Two Forms of tile Same One

When questioned repeatedly on this subject, Ma said: "Look, if you

bring a new earthen pot and it is broken, powdered and made one with
earth, then, here you get two separate forms, but in these two forms there
is One only - He alone is.

Do you know why you ask like this?

You distinguish between the two and thereby reap the fruit of separation.
The positive outcome of enjoyment of earthly goods is that one becomes
happy on getting the desired object and miserable when deprived of it.

In the field of enjoyment of sense objects, where one is propelled by a

desire, this (the above fact) is, indeed, the fruit of one's action and it is
there where it should be. Where there is no question of enjoyment and
non-enjoyment, it is only THAT, whatever you may call it.
Indeed, Baba, it is THAT alone!

Body Perishable

Not to be Grieved for Atma Imperishable

Again, from the worldly point of view too consider another aspect.
Moving along a street, you may notice an electric bulb dropping on the
ground and getting shattered to pieces. What do you do about it? On
recalling this incident, when you relate it to someone, evoking it perhaps
with a sense of fun and laughter, what explanation do you then put forth
in terms of mental agony? To ensure that the shreds of the broken bulb
do not hurt anybody, someone may rather carefully collect and deposit
them all at a place where no one steps upon them.

Consider this aspect as well: where there is no question of movement

non-movement, action non-action, it is the One Brahman without a
second. Where do you keep (the shreds of the broken bulb)? On the earth
only (the Bengali for earth is Mati) which when broken up as Ma-ti is
'the Mother' alone. (Again), you also say the word Atma (in which too is
Ma, i.e. the Mother). So, Ma being common, Mati stands
for Atma, and Atma is one withParamAtma.

Parabrahman Paramatman �

Where is the Question of Birth and Death: Ajat (Uncreated) �

World Ever Unreal In Past, Present and Future.

Now understand as to where Paramatman, Parabrahman is.

Where there is no question of creation, preservation and dissolution, then

from where (can the question arise) of birth or death pertaining to
worldly life? Past, present, future-where can there be the cycle of time?
Also, the state, which is particularly regarded as that of Mahakal, is a
subject to be enquired into. The aspect of Ajat is also to be understood
through self-deliberation.

Asparsa Yoga, as you say, surely pertains to Aspanda.

Svamool Svarupa

- Mool of All Tattwas

All, negation of all, beyond not beyond-where it is, how can it be

described? (It could be done) had it been possible to express it
through bhasha(language). When expressed, it is language and that is
bondage (as an expression by language is in duality).
* A pun on
the
word bhash
a which in
Bengali
means
 language.
With a
slight
change in
spelling,
the
pronunciati
on being
the
same(bhasa
) it means
to float, So
through
language,
you only
float as a
separate
entity in
duality.

Noticing all this peculiar behaviour of Ma, Bholanath perhaps told

Ashu's mother, the wife of his elder brother, who had negotiated the
marriage of the former. "Bu Thakurani (address with respect to the wife
of elder brother), this, the bahii you have brought in the family, what a
strange type!" He said something else too, known to them only.

Bholanath questioned: �If I do not live?�

Ma replied: "What matters, if you don't."

In this reply of Ma, evidently the underlying meaning disclosed was that
the body is perishable while Atman is imperishable. After mentioning a
few aspects in this context, finally Ma spoke about Svamool, the
fulfilment of all objectives.

With the analogy of pot and earth, in both the conditions, earth alone is
there. Similarly, eternal, ephemeral, perishable, imperishable, in the two
forms, there is but One only-the elf. Dualistic idea is the cause of grief.

Again, where only identification with body alone is viewed �

�one who is born is sure to die.�

The body is ephemeral, one day it is sure to meet its end.

So it is useless to grieve for what is inevitable. Ma cites the analogy of

breaking of bulbs in this context.

On the other hand, where only the supreme Objective is concerned, there
is no question of birth and death, �
 only from empirical point of view, there are body and jagat.

Also, in the context of jagat, which does not exist at any time in the
present, past and future - there is no creation at all, the visible body, etc.,
are, in fact, an illusion only.

The Supreme Reality alone reveals in diverse forms.

Therefore, there cannot be any cause for grief, since it is He Only in all
appearances.

The fulfilment of the aforesaid various aspects and ways of Reality is in

the revelation, of Svamool, already mentioned. Each line
of sadhana leads to the revelation of its mool and all such mools Te
in Svamool. On the completion of sadhana there reveals
the Ishta according to that line of sadhana. AllIshtas are, in fact, a
particular form of Bhagavan and only on the revelation of Svomool, is
the fulfilment ; all abiding in all. In Ma's words, referring
toSvamool there, all, absence of all, beyond not beyond, how to describe
? Here grief, absence of grief, all are forms of Bhagavan, and there is no
question of grief, beyond grief-there is that Akhanda Puma (Indivisible
Whole, the Perfect), say what you may, it is that.

That is why Ma replied What matters if you do not live. That is, where is
the question of grief over passing away of the body.

Letter written to Bholanath

This also a Form of Obedience

Bholanath did not often stay long with his brother, as the former was
without any job and was looking for one. His third sister's husband was
employed in Dacca and Bholanath went to his house. The sister kept him
with her for a long time with love. Bholanath was continuing his stay
there for a long period. So Ashu's mother one day called Ma and said:
"Look Nirmala, I want to tell you something, listen."

When Ma came near her, she said:

"How strange you are that you cannot win over your husband; he does
not even come here! What sort of a woman you are, unconcerned - a
woman hard to account for indeed! Bring a piece of paper and a pen-here
they are. Write a letter. I shall tell you what to write."

Now Ma did not know how to write a letter at all.

After marriage, Ma had been taken from Sripur to Kheora, and then
Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya had escorted Ma back to Sripur.
When returning (to Kheora), at that time, he had told Ma, Nirmala, here
is a piece of paper. After I reach Kheora, you write on a separate piece of
paper whatever is written here and send it to me. This is the customary
way of writing a letter. If you feel like writing some-thing else too, do
write." Ma enquired: "How soon should 1 write?"

After (knowing that and) calculating the time accordingly, Ma copied

verbatim what he had written and asked someone to post the letter.

Words spelt rightly or wrongly, whatever it was, this was how a process
of some sort began of Ma's writing letters. The language of the letter was
like this 'Hope you reached safely. Are you keeping good health? I am
having a peculiar feeling since your departure and nothing at all seems
enjoyable. When will you come again? etc.,' - the contents were all of
this type.

As for the letter which Ashu's mother had asked Ma to write, Ma wrote
whatever She could. Ashu's mother then read it, and after making
necessary amendments, posted the letter (to Bholanath). Since Bholanath
had stayed long at his sister's house, many of them who were of the same
age-group there had become like friends of Bholanath. So when that
letter reached the house of Bholanath's sister, there was a scramble for it.

The letter was snatched and opened, and then, in the midst of all there
followed at once riotous amusement with hearty banter. This was just
about all - regarding Ma's reading and writing. Bholanath's sister took
that letter from Bholanath and later, at some other time, gave it to Ma
and said: "Here it is, take it! What a scene was enacted-an awkward
situation for (poor) Ramani (Bholanath), because of this letter! Ma tore
up the letter, threw it away and said:

"All that was written according to the dictation of Ashu's mother."

However, after the death of Revati Babu, when Ma had come from
Atpara to Vidyakut where She stayed definitely for more than a year,
 whenever Bholanath, who was then at Ashtagram, his new place of
employment, would write to Ma from there on any particular issue, She
would also write back in reply about those significant points.

Binding of Hard Discipline on Bahu;

Ma in Flawless Pattern of Compliance

A year later, Ma went (from Sripur) to Kheora, and after staying there
for sometime, She was escorted back to Sripur. At Sripur, Revati Babu's
illness again got aggravated, so he returned to Alpara taking Ma and
others in his ompany. He recovered through Ayurvedic treatment and
came back to Sripur, his place of employment, and resumed his duties.
At that time, Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya took Ma
back to Kheora from Atpara.

She lived with Her parents at Kheora for sometime. Meanwhile, Revati
Babu was transferred to Narundi Railway Station. Shriyukt Bipin Bihari
Bhattacharya Mahasaya too wound up his settlement at Kheora and
taking Ma and all others along with him came to live at Vidyakut. Later,
Ma came to Narundi from Vidyakut.

When Ma was first taken to Narundi, the family of the Assistant Station
Master there had not arrived till then, and, therefore, it was arranged that
he take both his meals at the house of the Station Master Revati Babu.
Ma was very young then. She cooked and Ashu�s mother served the
Assistant Station Master both the times. But he could not join others (at
mealtime), because of his duties which kept him busy till odd hours. He
came late at night as well as during the day to take his meals. Ma used to
neatly preserve his food and keep it warm, as She would have done for
others. Later, Ashu's mother felt it troublesome to serve him food both
the times because of late hours and told Ma: "You serve him both the
times with the veil on." The purdah system was, then, prevalent in
villages and young women could not appear in front of others. But for
Ma, obeying instructions was the rule, and so She did just that.

At that time, Ma did not wear any stitched apparel (like a bodice or
chemise) but wore only a sari. The way She draped Herself was so
beautiful that one could see only Her hands and feet Due, possibly, to
excessive work, Her sari was torn in a somewhat short period. That was
the reason why, a little before leaving Narundi, Ma was gradually
provided with such a coarse sari that it was perhaps almost like fine
gunny. Wearing that only, Ma did Her work of cooking, etc., in the heat
of summer with a smiling face.

Noticing this, a feeling of sympathy arose in others and they commented.

"What a pity that such a young bride with so tender a body has to wear a
sari so coarse and yet remain engaged (in work) in such heat.

Again, look, what a smile is there on Her face, as though She is devoid
of any sensations not feel anything at all!"

When serving food to the Assistant Station Master, Ma would offer it

with a veil on and in a large plate with rice and the different other
articles well arranged on it. A little later, thinking that a second helping
may perhaps be needed, She would again take and offer all the dishes in
a large plate. He would take whatever he liked or tell Ma that he did not
need anything more. Ma would, then, go back, finishing Her serving in
these two rounds only. She served in this fashion so that She may not
have to go (in his presence) time and again.

We have already mentioned that the Assistant Station Master would

come very late at night after finishing his duty. Who should open the
door at such a late hour (was the question)? Ashu's second brother, about
five to seven years of age, was made to sleep with Ma, so that She may
not have to be all alone in the room. She would wake up the boy, unbolt
the door and ask him to hold it on and open it only after Her going away
to the kitchen.

He would just do that.

The boy would be drowsy, being a child, and would return to sleep. Ma
had been instructed to serve and, therefore, She would go, with the veil
on, in the presence of the gentleman only when food was served. Ma had
made this arrangement for only this reason that She my not meet him on
any other occasion.

In those days, when Ma was under household discipline, the hard code of
conduct binding on a bahu as well as the practice of remaining under a
veil was of this nature (as mentioned above). For Ma, all indeed, was a
play, as befitting a particular occasion. Whatever situation presented
itself at any time, Ma would unfold Herself with that aspect in such a
way that the pattern and appearance of that aspect would be flawless.
 Whatever the environment and situation there was at any time, the
relevant necessary advice and instructions (to be issued) would be
created by Ma and then observed by Herself.

All Aspect Absence of Aspects, Pertain to the Same One Svarupa;

- its manifestation as appropriate to each place: �Adhinai�

- portrayal of what is not Real.

Having heard Ma's words, and after observing Her behaviour and also
hearing what little he could about Her sadhana, etc., the venerable
Gopinath Kaviraj Mahasaya remarked one day:

"Ma, all these behaviours and sadhana of yours which followed an order
and system were just abhinai (acting of certain roles), was it not?"

Ma: "Drama - that is only an exhibition in which what is exhibited does

not exist (is merely an imaginary imitation).

When there is a drama, it is a series of actions in a performance at an

appointed time for entertainment. A programme is made to entertain the
spectators fully during specified hours. This is what is in vogue. When
the desire arises to give a perfect shape to the drama, then a regular and
systematic preparation (for its performance) i.e., a rehearsal (is first
held).

That is, that, which did not exist, was given shape by the preparation
through kalpana (imagination).

(However, where the Reality is concerned), a jiva is identical

with Shiva, so also is a woman with Gauri - Divine
Mother), Jagat (world) is but Hari only and Hari is but jagat only.

Jagat and Hari are not separate entities.

Purna* and ansh (whole and part): when the whole is subtracted from
the whole, the remainder is the whole only. What a spark can burn, the
fire itself too does the same. But the spark issues forth from fire, and so
it has its own form - just as whole and part.
*Purna is
the eternal
undifferenti
 ated whole.
So there
can be
nothing
besides it.
That is why
the
question of
any
addition to
or
subtraction
from it
does not
arise.

As Ma
says: "He
in Himself
only - is
(both)
whole and
part."

When Mahavir was questioned (about his bhava towards Sri Rama) you
all, indeed, say that the reply he gave was: "In identity, there is only the
One Self, undifferentiated. Again, He is the whole and I am a part, and
when He is the master, I am His servant." Therefore, you should
understand as to whom is in identity.

He in Himself only is (both) whole and part.

Again, it is He only in the form of master and servant too. So where

there is lila-khela, in that realm, even being One, there are the three, One
alone is in those three - Self, Self, Self, thrice Self. In these three (One
Self, whole and part, and master and servant), there is only
one Svarupa, revealing a particular aspect in the context of a particular
place.

When you talk of lila-khela of Bhagavan, He Himself is there as

appropriate to a particular place.

What is truth eternal, that itself is within that lila-khela as well.

Again, the world as such has never been created (Bhagavan in this form
too). When, with form, on whatever the eyes rest, only Krishna is
revealed there. Now, see the place of Master and servant too. The One
Self, whole and part, Master and servant - within the realm
of jiva, accepting the aspect of Master and servant, one should proceed
in sadhana, aiming at the realization of Self-wealth, that is getting
established in that One Self. So one should understand who is whole and
who is part, who is Master and who is servant In other words, He alone
 is in the form of one Atman, oneness; and, in the form of the whole and
part also, is THAT alone. Again, He who is the Master, the servant also
is I{c. That is why there was that reply of Mahavir. The three, indeed,
are in the One, the One alone is the three--this is what he had in view. In
the realm of jiva too, one, who treads this way, undertakes that sadhana-
kriya in order to realize the wealth of one's own Svarupa, the Self-
wealth.

Moreover, understand this that in jiva-jagat, where the domain is of

mental acceptance, there is transitoriness. Again, consider the side
pertaining to khelawithin the realm of Bhagavan. Of course, within the
domain of mental acceptance, we have observance of good manners,
modesty, acting, etc. Jiva means bondage, world means motion within
that (are good manners, modesty, etc.). But, in the Lila-khela of Tat, He
alone is in Himself, remember this.

Where there is no question of place or absence of place,

whatever Svarupa in whichever particular form, in an expressed idea and
language, in letters (of a language) no letters-who is it and where is it in
manifestation, find out. And that unmanifest, beyond mind and speech
what does your Shastra say?

Understanding is in the realm of mind only, where you understand a

thing through investigation to the best of your abilities in tile process of
acceptance and non-acceptance by mind, within the purview of thorough
continuous search.

On the other hand, is not your enquiry about this body (i.e., Ma's body)?
- well, as Bhagavan plays. Indeed, here, the happenings are as He in
Himself.

Having spoken in this manner, Ma kept quiet."

That the aspects of sadhana unfolded a new this is not the case with Ma.

Then what for was the sadhana,

when there is no question of attainment or no attainment?

Was it mere abhinai (drama) then? In the following answer to this doubt
of respected Kaviraj Mahasaya, there is an indication of Ma's Svarupa in
 Her own words: the pattern of play of Bhagavan, certainly it is taking
place by itself in the Self.

It is He alone,

the One,

in all forms,

in absence of forms,

in the form of jiva,

in the form of woman,

in the form of jagat,

He indeed is the Oneness in the form of one Atman,

in the form of whole and part,

it is THAT alone.

Again, He who is Prabhu (master), it is e who is Das (Servant) as well,

the three abide in One, the One only is three Self, Self, Self - Self three
times.

That is, it is the Svarupa abiding in the three appropriate revelations

(One Atman, whole and part, Prabhu and Das).

In other words, in the context of anything at any time pertaining to

the Lila-Khela of Bhagavan, it is lie Him-self, the One alone.

Again, where there is no question of creation, the jagat does not exist at
any time in the past, present and future and in the form of this uncreated
too is He. In the context of Sakar (with form), -

there is Krishna only,

the One alone and it is He, again, who unfolds

Himself in all forms,
 in the manifest form too, it is He, and again
�

in the unmanifest form too,

beyond mind and speech,

it is He alone.

In the context of the aforesaid Tattwa of Bhagavan, in all forms, without

form, in manifest, unmanifest, it is Bhagavan only, the One alone.
Similarly, when any aspect presented itself to Ma, then in order that the
way the formation arid appearance of that aspect may be perfect, Ma
would unfold Herself in that form. Presently, Ma is in the appearance of
a badhu, so with the aspect of an ideal badhu, Ma is in this play with its
complete form.

This is what Ma says: "� transformation of the self in the self."

An abhinai means to give a shape to that which is not real,

whereas in the case of Ma, in all Her Kriyas,

it is She alone, being all as well as being none too.

All these are not within the purviews of investigation pertaining to the
domain of mind. That is why Ma always lays stress that one must remain
devoted tosadhana daily under the direction of the Guru, in the kriya for
removal of the curtain of ignorance. Then only one may have a flash of
Ma's Svarupa, the way She will allow Herself to be comprehended.

In the form of Bahu,

In the Form of Mother,

In the Form of Devi, THAT only.

Reverting to the previous subject, when later, the family of' the Assistant
Station Master arrived, whenever he felt any discomfort at home, he, it is
reported, would say,

'There, at such odd hours, the food etc., was served with such care as if
with the loving hands of a mother".
 When (later), Ma was in the midst of all, he once came to have Ma's
darshan. She, whom he had one day seen behind the veil of
a badhu (newly married girl), whose hands and feet only were then
visible, today he saw Her without veil, in the form of Mother. What a
feeling of respect and devotion for Ma was noticed in him! It was heard
that the food served by Ma's hands had aroused in him (for Ma), for the
first time, the feeling of respect and devotion due to a mother.

When the wife of the Assistant Station Master first came to Narundi, she
saw Ma in Her kitchen from her own quarter. Later, when she came to
visit Ashu's mother, she said "That day I saw a bahu (daughter-in-law)
through the window of your kitchen so beautiful, like the image of
a Devi; where is She? Pointing towards Ma, Ashu's mother said: "There,
She is in the kitchen!" She was not able to believe it in any way and said:
"Yes, probably it is She, but that day, 1 saw through that window
someone like the celestially beautiful image of Devi.

She does not resemble her correctly."

Who knows what form Ma had shown to her!

The wife of a brother of this Assistant StationMaster had embroidered,

on a carpet, a very beautiful vigraha of Sri Krishna playing the flute.
Whenever Ma had some leisure, during that time, She also would copy a
part of that vigraha on a separate piece of carpet. By the time Ma would
finish Her nightly duties, it would be almost eleven-thirty. After this, She
would light up a kerosene lamp and carry on this handicraft for a while.

The soot from kerosene had naturally its reaction in the nostrils, but who
cared for such things. Meanwhile, there was a talk about their transfer,
so they too helped Ma to finish Her embroidery work on the carpet
hurriedly. They also loved Ma very much.

Unmanifest,

All - Pervading,

One with ALL - Embodied Form Ma's bhava.

When they were transferred from Narundi, a Muslim employee came in his place. His sister used
to discuss many good aspects of their religion with Ma. In that discussion, there flowed a stream
of joy, as if there was no question at all that there were different religions. The relationship with
them developed so much that their friendship was eternal as it were. Through the spirit of talk,
etc., the bhava of Ma too used to take a different turn. Because the talk was oil religion, there, the
ideas and language were related to identification with Tat. So long as religion was the subject of
talk; no matter what religion, that was all that counted with Ma.

When Ma appeared in bhava and the like, then, on being questioned ii

that context and in the discussion that followed, we have heard (from
Ma) that even from infancy what strange manifestation Would find its
play at times for a short period in Ma's body in the midst of daily
dealings within every one's sight - (revealing Herself in Herself);

whether*
*As stated
here, Ma as
the one
Tattwa
(Reality)
reveals in
different
aspects.
Firstly,
there is the
transcenden
tal
Ultimate.

About this,
which can
not be
defined by
asserting its
existence
or absence
of
existence,
the idea is
conveyed
by the,
words
whether it
exists or
not.
Secondly,
there is the
all
pervading
aspect,
which is
here
pointed out
by the
words,
which is
the place
where it
possibly
does not
exist, and
finally the
aspect of
manifestati
on as the
One with
all. For this
aspect, the
words used
 here are
which is
the place
where it
possibly
exists
separately.
In Ma's
bhava was
the
concrete
presence of
this
Ultimate
Truth.

it exists or not, and which is the place where it possibly does not
exist or which is the place where it possibly exists separately a concrete
revelation (of the bhavas in Her person, i.e., these bhavas were
concretised in Her body during that strange manifestation).

During that time, from our point of view, where was there the bhava of
the severe rule of conduct for a badhu - this aspect too disappeared. At
such a time, if Ma was engaged in any work, that work would not be
carried out in the usual way.

Even this too happened once at Atpara that though Ma could see that
there was milk in the pot, yet with the same milk, perhaps, She washed
Her hands, as if water and milk have the same use. In household life,
there are domestic duties and dharma that sustains-should we consider
that this form is His who sustains**.
**In grihas
tashram, th
ere
is grihastad
harma (hou
sehold
duties
performed
in
accordance
with
injunctions
of shastras)
. If
thisdharma
is followed
scrupulousl
y, it would
lead one to
realize the
Supreme
Objective
of life. This
is what is
meant by
religion
 sustaining a
householde
r.

Now, Atma
is the
source of
all
sustenance,
and being
all, there is
only
oneness
there
without any
distinction.
From this
standpoint,
use of milk
is the' same
as use of
water.

Here it is
not a case
of
Yogic Vibh
uti but a
revelation
of Ma in all
forms.

Some would see also these bhavas of Ma (by chance). what benediction
was bestowed upon them (who happened to see those bhava through that
unusual kriya (of Ma), we do not know. Suddenly, perhaps, one of the
mistress of the house noticing Ma washing bands with milk, said: "What
is this you are doing!" Just a little rebuke like this and Ma appeared as a
simpleton-a foolish bau, who as if did not under-stand anything.

As for Ma, whatever happened at any time, it took place by itself.

In this, there was nothing at all fabricated and arranged in any orderly
fashion.

In the context of an awfully difficult particular situation, Ma said this

also suddenly it occurred in kheyala by itself, 'this' should be the nature
of dealing with a particular person (Ma never disclosed what She meant
by 'this').

Every behaviour of Ma is, of course, for our kalyana. This

(our kalyaiuz) was brought about by Her repeated Kiwyala appearing by
itself only, as much as it did and wherever it did9 as appropriate at a
particular time*.
 * Because
the Reality
is always
One and it
alone is,
there is
oneness in
both
situations,
i.e., in the
case where
the
behaviour
is with
distinction
or with out
distinction.
However,
this one
Reality
appears
differently
due to the
con-text of
difference
in
prominence
of a certain
aspect.

Whatever it may be, noticing such ways of Ma, there would arise a
feeling of sympathy in Ashu's mother too. At Narundi, say, Ma was at
work in the kitchen. Then, finishing that work hurriedly, She would be
sitting leisurely, like a statue.

Question: What was the matter at that time Ma? Till then, the aspect of
play of sadhana had not started!

Ma: "Strange! Even now too, this body sometimes does remain silent in
its own Kheyala. Do you not notice yourself that on some rare occasion
so many hours pass away (in this way)."

Normal or Uncommon - Both, Indeed, the Same One.

Thus, it so happened one day that Ashu's mother came and as soon as
she saw Ma, she started talking to herself: "Well, what sort of a sleep is
this, sitting only!" Having said this she continued talking (to herself), do
not know what, for quite sometime. After that, coming near Ma, she
gave a thrust to Her and probably said: "Does it not even reach you ears
what I say?"

Then, somehow Ma opened Her eyes and controlling Herself went back
to work. They were not acquainted with these ways of Ma, hence such
behaviour was normal for them.
 At Sripur too, one night Ashu's mother told Ma: "Go and lull this child
to sleep." Ma went up to the first floor. That day Ma was off duty of
cooking and serving food. Rarely and on such days only, Ashu's mother
too did the cooking. After laying down the child and while lulling it to
sleep, well, Ma went into Her own bhava, as if there was nobody
anywhere in the world, and no further housework to be attended to.

Receiving no response to repeated calls, probably someone went

upstairs, gave a push to Her and called Her to go back downstairs. That
person then said: "Everyone has sat down to eat; you do not care to see
(look after others' needs), but having come upstairs, the matter just
ends!"� Ma came down with that person like an obedient girl. After
She had come down, possibly someone had already sat down to eat, in
front of whom Ma would (normally) never speak and would appear with
a veil on.

There, Ma sat down cross-legged near him, with just a little covering on
Her head, and as if with great concentration, continued to watch him eat.
Whether the eyes were fixed or there was winking or not, who would
notice it at that time. 'Never caring to see' (look after) was this also taken
(by Ma) as an instruction to be obeyed? In a second this happened, and
Ashu's mother feeling astonished (said): "What is this you are doing ?"
The moment she said this, Ma, in a flurry, put Her veil on and left the
place to mind Her kitchen work. They, in front of whom this happened,
went into a little laughter. They thought that this had happened probably
because Ma was still sleepy.

That something improper had taken place, Ma had no Kheyala at all to

take note of. On account of such actions of Ma at times, perhaps
someone would get displeased temporarily and talk too a little in that
vein. But when Ma would again begin doing work in their midst
according to their instructions, well, their feeling of irritation would, as
if, get dissolved and wiped out altogether. Because Ma was simple and
guileless, looking upon Her with affection, fondness and love by them
was but natural.

Even now we find that sometimes, observing some distinctive bhavas of

Ma, a sense of distance, with a feeling of reverence and devotion due to
a supreme majesty (in Her) overwhelms us for the time being. Then, as
we recall our common informal behaviour with Ma, we are led to
ponder, with a sense of fear and repentance, as to whom we are dealing
with and in what a way! (We. then, resolve that) from then onwards, we
 shall act in a disciplined manner. But, again, when Ma creates such a
(familiar) environment through Her jokes, movements and talks with
various modes and gestures, we get lost in that joy only. Where goes,
then, our immature, solemn resolve made earlier - how long does it last?

We do, again, exactly what is done under the impulse of the innate
tendency of a jiva.

But then, She is our eternal Mother; may She condescend to keep us
imbued with this bhava as She does.

The occasional external manifestation in Ma (mentioned earlier) during

Her aforesaid behaviour within everyone's range of vision----this open
mood, free from the bondage, as it were; pertaining to the practical
world, difficult to subdue, flashed for a moment. The facts which would
enable other people to know about such a mood would hardly ever come
out of Ma's mouth, perhaps for the reason that how many people could
have understood about these moods at that time. In fact, the existing
condition, then, was not congenial for understanding this aspect-should
we take it this way?

Of course, everything is possible if there is Kheyala (of Ma).

Accidentally, some people might sometime have seen this
unusual bhava.. They, before whose sight Ma came at that moment,
would, afterwards, discuss among themselves subjects of spiritual nature
too. For them, who happened to be in the presence of Ma, whether in
Her normal or uncommon bhava, it was of course, beneficial. Both the
normal and uncommon are certainly the same to Ma. However, we
receive according to our capabilities. Everything, of course, is possible
through Her Kheyala. Through which aspect of bhava in us, She will
make us deserving, is known to Her only-this is what occurs in our mind.
Yes, we think this too that when we are near a fire, we definitely feel the
heat; may be this too is in the same way.

Because the bhavas of Ma mentioned above could not be comprehended

by others, She was pulled up a little by them during Her housework at
Bholanath's place. But Ma had always the same one bhava only, of just
listening quietly to whatever others might say.

Ma had to fulfil this aspect of duty according to Her own Kheyala.

 This She would perform minutely with an expression of joy. For Ma, it
was then, for the time being, a play in the role of a householder.

Sometimes Ma says:

"In jiva-jagat, by taking the San * i.e., the unreal for san *, i.e., what is
true, everyone undertakes what is destined for him and thereby wears out
(to that extent) his actions of merit and demerit. Worldly comforts and
enjoyments wear out the merits t and worldly suffering results in
exhausting the demerits **.
*A pun on
the Bengali
word sansa
r (the world
or domestic
life ), as the
two parts of
it, San and
sar, have
different
meanings.
Sanmeans a
clown-one
who
assumes a
fake
appearance
for
amusement
and sar me
ans
essence,
i.e., the
only thing
that really
counts.

**
According
to the Law
of Karma,
by good
actions, we
earn merit,
the fruit of
which is
worldly
comfort
and
enjoyments
; and by
bad actions,
demerit is
earned, the
fruit of
which is
suffering.
So, when
we enjoy
the fruit of
worldly
happiness,
we exhaust
our merits
earned due
 to good
actions in
past lives
and by
suffering,
demerit is
exhausted.

Is it not this what you say-that which is the innate tendency

of jiva? About Ma, however, it happens by itself, whatever it may be at
any time.

MA'S HOUSEHOLD DUTIES:

DAILY ROUTINE

At Narundi, Ma used to get up very early, and from then on, remained
busy with housework. On the previous night, Ma would have washed the
kitchen floor and plastered it with a layer of a mixture of mud and cow
dung.

At that early hour, the servant Antu would milk the cow and after
cleaning the pot and ladle, place the pot and milk in front of Ma. At the
sometime, while looking at the floor or at the feet of Ma, he would say in
a tone full of great respect and sympathy.

"Chhota Ma, chhota Ma,* be quick please; place the milk on the fire to
boil it for the senior master."
*Literally
junior
mother-an
address of
respect
for the wife
of the
younger
brother of
the master
of the
house.

The servant Antu used to clean the utensils of the family. Ma would,
however, have Her big veil on even before the servant and would not
speak to him either. Ma would change Her clothes quickly, boil the milk
and serve it to Revati Babu. Antu had a very good nature, indeed. Much
later, having heard Ma's fame, he came for Her darshan and expressed
great joy.
After boiling the milk and serving it, to Revati Babu, Ma would light the
kitchen fire, take instructions from Ashu's mother as to what 'items of
food were to be cooked and collect them accordingly. After that
vegetables were cut, spices, etc., ground to a paste, and then followed
cooking. Sometimes spices were ground by the servant. From the very
morning, Ma had to minister to the children of Her husband's elder
brother in every way-feeding them, getting their hands and mouth rinsed
after meals-clean the floor, etc. At times Ma had to feed and bathe them
too with Her own hands. Ashu's mother used to cut vegetables both
times daily. Ma had to cook again at noon, serve food to all and in
between, knead wheat flour and keep the dough immersed in water.
After the midday meal, during whatever respite Ma got, She would
engage Herself a littlo in handicraft too. In the afternoon, Ma took that
dough out of water,. worked on it to soften it further, and
making parathas* out of it, served them to Ashu's father for a light
repast.
*
paratha A
kind of
bread-fried,
flat, large,
but not
thick,
generally
made of
wheat
flour.

Again, lighting up kitchen fire, et., arrangements were made for cooking
the night meal.

Obedience and Compassion

- A Play of Simultaneous kriyas of Harshness and Affection

One day Revati Babu was about to admonish Ashu to make him mind
his studies. Out of fear, Ashu screamed, ran quickly to Ma and hugged
Her. He knew that in such a condition, his father would not be able to
touch him.

Revati Babu ordered Ma: "Bau Ma, separate the boy."

Now, what could Ma do? On the one hand, there was the child clinging
to Her, crying bitterly, and on the other hand, there was Revati Babu's
order! Ma tried with Her one hand as if to forcibly remove one hand of
Ashu, and simultaneously with Her second hand, She kept wiping his
 tears with the edge of Her sari. What more could Revati Babu do?
Observing this scene, he quietly left the place. After this incident, he told
Ashu: "Go to your aunt and learn the alphabet from Her." During the
cooking hours, Ma would try and find a little time and teach Ashu a little
of all this. Ashu's education first began with Ma only.

At night, after having fed everybody, Ma would clean the kitchen, take
Her own meal, and before going to sleep, work a little, as already
mentioned, to produce the embroidery of Shri Krishna Vigraha on a
piece of carpet. This was because She bad no leisure at any other time.
Moreover, so long as the Assistant Station Master, mentioned above, had
his meals there, Ma had to wait for him, with his food, tilt late at night.

Very often, Ma had to break coal to smaller pieces with Her own hands
and then light the oven. At times, the Panipare (the man who draws
water and supplies it) of the railway station would come and as per
instruction from Ashu�s mother, break coal and fetch the required
quantity of water too.

Sansar in its own Way.

Revati Babu was a heavy smoker. When going back after his work,
that Panipare would get the tika* ignited to light Revati Babu's tobacco.
*A small
cake made
out of
charcoal
powder;
and used to
light
tobacco in
a hookah.

He used to leave the tika before Ma and She would, after getting it
ignited in kitchen fire, keep it on the ground. The Panipare would then
pick it up and take it away. Generally, indeed, it went on like this. One
day, when Ma was about to put the tika on the ground after it had been
ignited, he came near to take it from Her hand itself. Ma moved aside
quickly and dropped the tika on the ground. Ma would have Her long
veil on without fail and never talked to these people. The man picked up
the tika and went back. Ma reported this incident to Ashu's mother; She
said: "Yes, that fool is of this nature, he has no sense at all!"
 She addressed these words to herself only and probably did not tell
Revati Babu about it. If he had heard it, he would certainly have
disciplined the man.

Meanwhile, whenever that Panipare came to break coal and fetch water,
his manner of movement was such that Ma had to move away from him.
At that time, Revati Babu was dangerously ill. Bholanath was present.
Ma reported to Bholanath about that man and Bholanath took him to task
severely. Ashu's father also heard this. He too scolded tile man heavily
and totally stopped him from going to the kitchen side.

A Situation-Aspect of Skilful Handling

In the meantime, Motori Pishima* became widow and joined this family.
Now, she cooked the vegetarian dishes for midday meal.
*She was
Bholanathï
¿½s
younger
sister. In
Bengali,
father's
sister is
called Pishi
ma.

When any necessity arose, the servant Antu was of much help to her.

In this household, the quota of mustard oil was fixed as three paos (about
three-quarter of a litre) per week. One day Motori Pishima desired to
cook some nice dishes, such as moocha ghanta (a preparation of plantain
flower) and the like. The week was almost over and so there was
shortage of oil. She came to Ma and said: "Bau Than, what do you
suggest I should do?" What could Ma suggest? She only replied: "what
can I say, tell me?"

Then, Motori Pishirna herself called Antu and told him: "Look, here is a
bottle, get it filled with oil from whatever source you may have. Later,
we will return you this oil, but keep it a secret."

Antu replied: "Airtight Pishima, I shall get it for you,�" and he really
did just that. Later on, that oil was returned. There was no evasion in
Antu's work; his nature too was very sweet.
One day, Ashu's mother told Ma, 'Take these pieces of burlap and stitch
them together so that they may become suitable for use under the
bedding." Ma started stitching little by little whenever She could get
some leisure in between Her housework.

Motori Pishima too joined Ma in this needlework. When this work was
almost over, Motori Pishima forgot to take out that thick shining sharp
needle, and it remained stuck in the burlap. As Ma spread out Her
bedding to sleep, well, that needle pierced Her quite deep at the back of
Her left leg, a little below the knee.

When Ma tried to move Her leg, She found that the mosquito net, the
bedding and that burlapthe entire lot-moved, clinging to Her leg.

By long use, the needle had become bright and sharp. Ma pulled it out,
kept it aside and did not speak about it to anyone. The leg got swollen
and gradually that particular spot became hard, and it is still like that. Ma
always had this bhava, namely, what was the benefit of discussing such
an incident?

What has happened already cannot be undone.

So She never had any leisure to have any Kheyala about a matter of this
kind.

Play of Bestowing Grace while Attracting Affection.

Ma had not gone to Her parents' house for a long time. Once Bipin
Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya, after coming to take Her home had gone
back (without Her). This time Revati Babu wrote to him to come and
take Ma. So he came again. Revati Babu wanted to fix the date when Ma
should leave. Meanwhile, Ashu's mother negated the proposal saying:
"We cannot let Her go now. Revati Babu also said: "Dear Tayi
Mahasaya (brother's father-in-law), you will take away Bau Ma. But, in
fact, all arrangements for my meals are taken care of by Pau Ma alone. I
am alive only because of Her careful nursing. Sometimes when Ma did
not cook for two or three days, he would enquire: "when is Bau
Ma going to cook?" He sometimes even said: "The taste of food cooked
by Bau Ma is like that of my own mother cooking." It is said that Revati
Babu's mother cooked well.
 When Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya was told that, he
became unhappy and returned that very night. When going back, he told
Ma: "what can I do, they have not allowed me to take you." Hearing this,
Ma kept quiet.

That night, probably in identity with the feeling of father with which he
had departed, Ma remained awake in Her room till late at night. In the
next room were Revati Babu and his family. He had diabetes and so had
to go out many times at night.

Through the gap between the door leaves, he saw light and could know
that Ma was awake. The next day, he told Ashu's mother: "Bau Ma was
not allowed to go; She is young and could be unhappy. I think Bau
Ma had no sleep at all last night." Revati Babu, as we know, had love
and affection for Ma, just as he would have for his daughter-in-law or
daughter. Sometimes he would say: "When my Kalipada's bride would
come home, she would not be a recipient of more affection from me
than Bau Ma".

Kalipada was the eldest son of Revati Babu and was about three and half
years younger to Ma. Ashu was their youngest son.

Gradually, Revati Babu's illness began to worsen. Once a

burning tika fell on his feet. A sore developed due to that and spread to
another part of tile body. He died of this at Narundi itself. Bholanath was
present during Revati Babu grave illness. He was almost always near his
brother, nursing him. After Revati Babu expired, Bholanath came to
Atpara with everyone and taking everything with him. Even after Revati
Babu's last rites had been performed, Ma Continued Her stay at Atpara
for a few months. Immediately after the obsequies of Revati Babu bad
been completed, Bholanath went away looking for a job.

After this Ma came to Vidyakut. Right then, Bholanath too got his
Ashtagram job.

On the occasion of Revati Babu's shradha kriya (last rites), etc.,

arrangement were made to feed brahmins and all others at Atpara. Ma
was giv the charge of cooking. At that time, Ma was about sixteen years
of age. But nobody knew how the food for so many people was got
prepared. Everyone praised the cook highly. Of course, the ladies who
assisted Ma in Her cooking helped Her in such a way as one's mother
would, and felt honoured by the praise showered on Ma.
 While going away from Atpara to Vidyakut, father came to take Ma
home. Revati Babu had only one small daughter, who, though a little
dark in complexion, had considerable loveliness in her face. That is why
Ma bad named her Labanya (loveliness). She was not satisfied at all
unless Ma combed her hair, fed her, etc. One day she told her mother:
"Mother, may I call aunt my junior mother. I do not feel like calling Her
aunt. Her mother forbade her with a rebuke. At Bajitpur too she had told
the same thing to her mother. When the time came for Ma to start for
Vidyakut, Labanya said: "I shall not stay here at any cost without aunt; I
shall also go."

So saying, she started rolling on the ground and weeping piteously;

nobody could restrain her. Ma kept standing there, watching. Her mother
would not allow her to go with Ma. From the grip of those who tried to
hold her back, she shot away and fell on the ground, as if she had
immense physical strength. Someone remarked that after Ma would start
off, she would calm down. Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya then left
with Ma. Bholanath, however, had his job t Ashtagram and so he went
there from Atpara.

In this chapter, there is a portrayal of the form of seva by Ma in

obedience to bidding, while abiding in the perfect pattern of discipline as
strictly binding upon a bahu. Whatever the nature of directive at any
time, Ma would be in the perfect form and bhava of obeying the same
implicitly. It was just obedience alone operating like a machine, without
question of any place for discretion or reservation with a separate
underlying bhava other than of obedience. In fact, there cannot be any
room for them. What a flawless peerless picture of this aspect as
depicted in this chapter

Engaged in all the household chores, Ma was in perfect form of each

aspect, sustaining serene cheerful disposition. No question of diversion
in changing situations, favourable or unfavourable-all indeed, as it were,
the form of Ananda in one form or another.

While with Her parents, never did Ma have any occasion to perform
such type of work. How then originated the patterns of such work, and
where they came from?

In reply, Ma said: in all these too surely it is THAT only. You

differentiate between aspects, so you reap the fruits of actions under the
 feeling of a separate doer. On the other hand, here (Ma) whatever
happens, let it, taking place by itself as it does.

This form of karma, surely,

is of the One only-THAT alone.

That is, in Ma's kriya it is Ma only.

Therefore, in the form of perfect pattern of this seva-bhava, it is Ma

alone.

Where actor, action and result of action are looked upon separately,
as is reflected in the action of a jiva-such is not the case here.

A jiva under the sense of ego is the reaper of fruits of its actions in
diverse forms and, therefore, a hankering for name and fame is
inevitably sustained there. But in the case of Ma all that comes to pass is
Ma Herself.

Even so, one will marvel as we do, at the perfection of kriya by Her in
each situation at such a young age. If Her kriyas were observed
carefully, it would be evident that each one of them was a shining
manifestation and when pursued, would help a jiva to unfold the inner
qualities for purification of heart as the essential base upon which the
spiritual structure of a sadhaka would be built.

Besides being very young, Ma had also a tender physique, and yet how
She managed every problem of Her household chores, including dealing
with elders, love to children and neighbours, and above all, Her
unconditional obedience.

All these kriyas are based on absolute truth, completely free from
attachment and aversion, a matchless simplicity without any show of self
in any case, always radiating love, as it were, to one and all, ever a
cheerful disposition under any condition and a one-pointed zeal and
enthusiasm to complete to perfection any work assigned to Her.
Ma's Kriya is Ma, yet it is all for us as She often declared. So, if
a sadhaka from his very early life can develop such qualities, he would
then be ready to advance steadily in his sadhana and ultimately
his Svarupa may reveal as one with his kriya-a revelation of
Ma'sSvarupa in him - the purpose of life gloriously fulfilled.
 In the context of empirical works too, Ma says, if that also can be performed with the
determination tq do it perfectly, then there would awaken, in the doer, dexterity in its performance.
And this dexterity too can lead to awakening of the kriyas helpful for the journey towards the
Supreme Objective. So, in the example of Ma's works, one can notice how even the empirical
activity can be transformed into a sadhana, a preparation for the journey aiming at the revelation
of one's Svarupa.

This seva-lila in Ma's grihastashram is of special significance for Ma's

devotees and others as well, an overwhelming majority of whom belong
togrihastashram.

In this lila, Ma has revealed Herself, as it were, in a stream of kriyas in

different phases in the form of binding qualities, a technique if followed
faithfully, would help an easy unfoldment of the self-an ideal life
in grihast-ashram, transforming itself automatically to a sadhaka life
through household chores alone.

Their Last Breaths

MA'S YOUNGER MATERNAL UNCLE -

HIS FINAL SUPREME EMANCIPATION IN MA'S PRESENCE

Shriyukt Sharada Charan Vidyasagar Mahasaya, about whom we have

already made a mention, was the second maternal uncle of Ma.*
Ma did not
see Her
youngest
uncle; he
had expired
long before
Among the
surviving
two uncles,
this second
one was,
therefore,
called by
Ma Chhota
Mama
(literally
youngest
uncle in
Bengali).

It was he who, of his own accord, had made arrangements and provided
materials, etc., in various ways in a special manner during the marriage
ceremony of Ma. Now, after about four years, Ma had come to Vidyakut
from Atpara. At this time, this maternal uncle came to see Ma. Although
Ma had come to Vidyakut quite some days back, he had not been able to
come and see Her all these days because of his old age and indifferent
health as well. When Ma used to go to Her maternal uncle's house in Her
early years, it is said that She enjoyed eating jack-fruit from a particular
tree. She used to walk under its shade and play with leaves and sand. We
do not know who it was in the form of that tree. Who knows if, in
concurrence with the attainment of the final Supreme goal, his being in
the form of a tree and offering its fruit was his particular manifestation
of seva to Ma. The tree was very old. During certain years, it bore so
much fruit that some of it came out even piercing the earth from the root.
The fruits too were of big size.

The uncle had brought with him a fruit from that tree and also several
othr presents for Ma. He sat for a while and then left saying: "Let me go
to the Eastern Locality now." There, the daughter of a daughter of his
maternal uncle was going to be married. Being invited, Ma too went to
that aunt's house next day. By the time the feeding of invitees was over,
it was almost the close of day. It was drizzling and getting nearly dark.
Ma 'lad Her younger brother Makhan and sisters Surabala and
Hemangini too with Her. Ma searched out Her uncle, and on finding
him, said: "In this dark, I shall have to return alone with these children."
When he heard this, he said: "Shall I come with you?" Ma kept quiet.
Then he picked up his clothes and came out quickly. He had pain due to
acidity, and after having late lunch, he was lying down to rest for a
while. In the house of marriage, the formalities, greetings and blessings
due to the bride and groom had not yet concluded. Finding perhaps that
there was none dependable who could accompany Ma, the uncle went
himself taking Her along with him. Ma had the kheyala that She would
go taking the uncle definitely with Her.

While they were on their way, the rain stopped.

When they reached home, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi made

arrangements for him to sleep in another room. Ma and the rest too went
to sleep. Just a little later, the uncle started calling Mokshada Sundari
Devi by her name. Ma and all the rest got up and went there quickly. It
was noticed that the uncle was saying in a plaintive voice: "Make a bed
for me in the open." As Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi was hurriedly
trying to make a bed in the verandah, he said: "No, make it for me in the
open courtyard only."

In a weeping mood, she was obliged to obey him. Meanwhile, noticing

his pain and intense physical weariness as well as gradual changes in this
condition, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi called in
 an Ayurvedic doctor and some important persons of the locality. At that
time, the moon rose as if it was sunrise and the clear sky became flooded
with moonlight.

When the Ayurvedic doctor arrived, the uncle enquired "What is your
caste?" The answer was 'barber'. Then the uncle said: "Please do not
touch me now."

Noticing that there was no effect of the medicine administered by the

doctor and finding at the condition of the patient too was deteriorating,
Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi proposed that an allopathic doctor be
sent for. When the uncle heard this, he said: "No, I am just about to take
my last breath. One day one has to make the final exit, so do not send for
the doctor." He realized clearly that his end had come. Also, his body
was that of a brahmin, and he knew, being a pundit well-versed in
the Shastras, that it was against its injunctions to let himself be touched
by a member of a lower caste at the time of death. That is why he had
spoken to the Ayurvedic doctor in such a way. In those days, everyone
seriously obeyed the injunctions of the Shastras with reverence.
Nevertheless, even at that time, the uncle was talking normally with everybody. Later, he said:
"My pulse has stopped and it has become cold up to my navel. My time is now near at hand It was
actually seen to be so. Hearing this (that the end was near), an elderly learned pundit of that
locality named Anath Chandra Vidyavinode, who was distantly related to Shriyukt Bipin Bihari
Bhattacharya Mahasaya, and was also a grandfather of Ma by relation, came there, and seeing that
the uncle was at his last stage, began rubbing his feet.

The uncle exclaimed: "You are a pandit, a descendant of a high family and also advanced in age,
and you are touching my feet!" While talking in this vein, he folded his hands towards all and then
raising them upwards, did namaskar (a bow with folded hands). Calling out the names
of fihagavan. various gods and goddesses, Avatars, his ancestors, his Gurudeva, elders, the
ancestors of Ma's father, he did pranam to all while keeping his hands folded.

Then uttered:

"Durga, Durga, Shiva-Durga,

Sidhidata Ganesh Ganesh Ganesh,
Shri Guru, Trilochan, Kashi
Vihwanath."
 And while saying thus and doing pranam, he breathed his last.

This second uncle of Ma, Sharada Charan Vidyasagar was a famous

pundit. From the Raja of Tripura, he had received Pundit Vidaya (a
presentation in cash and kind to a pundit in his honour when leaving
after a visit), Desh-Nimantran-Vidaya (a presentation to one when he is
invited from another place) and the like. His had been a family of
pundits from generation to generation. It was this maternal uncle who, as
we know, used to look upon Ma as one above the normal. In him, a
special fondness and affection for Ma was noticed. During his last hours
he came to Ma, and Ma also, after searching him out, brought him along
with Her. He reached his final supreme goal in the presence of Ma.

This incident took place within three or four hours. Shriyukta Mokshada
Sundari Devi was on the point of weeping, but there was no trace of any
tear in Ma's eyes. That a sad event had taken place in that house did not
find any expression in Ma's ways and talks. On the day this incident took
place and on the following day, some people of the locality enquired of
Ma the details about the death of the uncle. She narrated it all. Even then
no feeling of sorrow was noticed in Her. Ma saw that many were talking
in whispers:

-"�what sort of a girl, as if She has no worldly affection and

attachment at all!"

MA'S YOUNGEST MATERNAL UNCLE

BREATHES HIS LAST UTTERING SHIVA-DURGA

Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi had three brothers-the three maternal

uncles of Ma. Here is what happened a long time back. Among the
maternal uncles, the third one who was the youngest, had been unwell
for sometime. This family was used to Ayurvedic treatment. The father
said to the son: "You are not well, you should take medicine regularly."
Meanwhile, rising early one day, and according to his practice of doing
his religious service every morning, he performed the same on that day
too. Then, on hearing, again, the advice to take medicine, he told his
father calmly and in a light bhava: "Baba (father), is an illness got rid of
only just because one takes medicine? Can you keep me bound down
here?" Within a short while after this, he got up and sat strn and cross-
legged on his bed. Everyone was watching that he was sitting quietly. In
 the meantime, along with his last breath, he took the name
of Bhagavan,uttered the words

"Shiva-Durga,�"
and that was all. What was to happen, happened.

The eldest and the one next to him - of these two brothers, Ma used to
address the younger one as Sona Mama**

and also Chhota Mama**,

**Sona me
ans gold,
so Sona
Mama, gol
den
uncle, Chh
ota means
youngest.

because he was youngest Ma never saw him. Shriyukta Mokshada

Sundari Devi called this Chhota Mama of Ma, Chhota Dada.

The Bada Mama of Ma, it is said could be seen more often in the sitting
room.

All of them who visited him, whether distinguished o ordinary people, he

received them equally with love. Whatever job lay ahead of them, was
done after consultation; there was nothing like division of labour.
Whenever there arose the necessity to complete any work, whatever it
was, both the uncles of Ma would do it jointly after taking due care.
Among all the brothers and sisters, there was only one pattern of
talking in the context of any work, namely, with due respect towards
seniors and with love and affection towards juniors.

Besides, everyone would obey the elders with respect. When a junior
was in need of anything, he would seek permission of the elder before
taking any step in that connection. If there arose any problem to be
faced, the elder too would help in putting things in order.

Everything did, indeed, take place in an environment of peace all round.

BADA MAMA - LAST BREATH

WHILE SITTING STEADILY IN YOGIC POSE

 IN FULL CONSCIOUSNESS

Question: You have told us about the end of your Chhota Mama. Now,
Ma, do please tell us also about your eldest uncle.

Ma: About the last breath of the eldest maternal uncle? Well, there was
no particular ill health or illness in his case. On that day, he felt just a
little feverish only. Otherwise, he moved about and had his food in the
normal way. Meanwhile, sitting on his bed, he began uttering the names
of some of his friends. Also, he told someone to go and call them. When
so called, they all came. A pleasant chit-chat continued till a little late in
the evening.

Meanwhile, the uncle enquired from everyone: "Have you had your
dinner?"

When they replied in the negative, he asked them to go and finish their
meal and then come back and see him. In his house, they all had already
finished taking their dinner by then. The friends had their dinner and
assembled again. The way they used to talk daily, they continued doing
like that, gossiping and laughing as well. In the meantime, the uncle
enquired: "How far has the night advanced now?"

Calculating on the basis of prahar (a period of about 3 hours), the unit of

time of those day, it was about 10 PM.,

and so the uncle said: "Is this the time now ?"

When the friends replied: "Yes, it is almost that", he sat up cross-legged,

and placing his thumb tips, each on the space in the middle of the ring
finger of the respective hand, remained silent and still. The last breaths
then started and ended.

The father of Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi too was an old man of
70 or 72 years. It is said that in his case too, the end came while he was
talking, sitting on his asana.

Here, Ma added further: "These incidents about the uncles have been
narrated as heard from the mouth of the mother of this body." Mokshada
Sundari Devi too would sometimes talk about her own house at
Sultanpur, in response to queries.
 The next day after the death of Ma's Chhota Mama, Bholanath's letter
arrived intimating that he would reach Vidyakut from Ashtagram the
following day. Since his marriage, Bholanath had not come to Vidyakut.
Due to pecuniary difficulties, Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya
Mahasaya could not invite him.

Bholanath arrived, and Ma's father, who had been away from home for
some days, also returned about that time. When he came, Bholanath, Ma
and all others went to the house of Ma's uncle at Sultanpur by boat on
the occasion of the shradha ceremony of Ma's second maternal uncle.
After the rites were over, they came back to Vidyakut.

CHAPTER SIX
The Ways and Methods of the Supreme

in Later Years

(At) Kheora, Vidyakut, Sultanpur

In the Company of Parents and other Companions

KHEORA

-WHERE WE WERE FIRST BLESSED WITH MA AMONG US

Before the fascinated and amazed people of the world, when

Ma's manifestation as the Mother of the universe took place with
movements in Her Divine harmony, sustaining
infinite bhavas and rupa, She allowed Her all-pervading manifestation to
be comprehended, whatever little it could be, by numberless hearts at
particular places. At about the time when this began. Ma once set Her
foot at Her maternal uncle's house, in this very village of Sultanpur, and
along with it at Kheora and Vidyakut too. Shriyukt Bipin Bihari
Mahasaya, Shriyukta Mokshada Sundari Devi, Bholanath, Gurupriya
Devi, her father Swami Akhandananda, and also some others
accompanied Her. To reach houses in those villages from a railway or a
steamer station, during rainy season, there was no alternative other than
of going by a boat.
 In other seasons, conveyances, such as palki (palanquin) and the like
were available. Whenever Ma was taken anywhere during rainy season,
it was only by boat that they reached the ghat of the house.

At Kheora was Bipin Bihari Bhattacharya Mahasaya's maternal uncle's

house-the place where the vigraha form of Ma had appeared first. When
the party arrived there, the entire population of that small village was
already present. Besides, it was surprising that from many small
neighbouring villages too, the villagers had arrived in-groups by boat for
Ma's darshan. There were so many pinnaces and small boats that it
seemed as if there was a fair of boats too. And, of course, where Ma was,
at that place, there was continuous kirtan without break, and a vast
concourse of people had assembled as though a great festival was on by
itself. A poor country, as it was, after collecting whatever the pecuniary
condition of the people permitted, they had come with so much
earnestness to offer that to Ma. Some had brouglit the favourite light
repast of the villagers-talgola (a thin paste made from palm fruit juice)
andnarikelkhora (coconut kernal scrapings) mixed with thickened milk
and sugar-while others had come with sweetmeats made out of thickened
milk, cast into some shape; sweetmeats from coconut kernal scrapings
made into balls or cast in various other designs; and coconut kernal
finely sliced like cuminseed into different varieties, beautifully cut.

Like these, there were numerous varieties. Then there were fruits from
someone's tree and vegetables from a garden of another. Still others
came withdheki-sak (a kind of pot-herb), inside stem of a plantain tree,
plantain flowers, or even a little milk or butter milk and the like. So
many other items and of still more varieties were brought by them, each
according to his capacity.

This fair of this great festival continued for several days. Ma was taken
sometime to one house, sometime to another, and sitting in open fields,
various queries were made on spiritual subjects. Again, sitting at night
too, there were talks on the Supreme Objective and whatever little
receptacle one had, one got it filled there. Ma too poured Her grace on
them, as it were. The places where Ma used to roam about in Her early
years, the families to whom She had brought joy through Her love and
fond liberty, the old men and women among them who were still alive
then, on having Ma amidst them, had talks with Her with tears rolling
down, as if without an end.

As for those who had fondled infant Ma,

 taking Her in their laps,

an overflow of devotion and reverence from them was, as if, flowing like
a stream in those places.

Whoever was present at that time-all of them-experienced the divine

glory sustained by bhaan and continuity of kirtan without break,
resounding in that entire atmosphere. Trees, creepers, leaves, a tank
nearby all of them, it appeared, were participating in that festival. There
had never been anything of that nature before in these villages. Someone
perhaps even cried aloud with a scream; so many diverse forms were
there at that time. Ma too, it was noticed, was in a highly
animated bhava, with a sweet pattern of movement and healthy body.

What little Ma took of whatever eatable was offered by any one out of
love, was taken with love and joy. This sort of feeling for Ma, the way
they had Ma among them in Her early years and today they had this
great Ma - who aroused this exalted emotion in them?

It is known only to Him whose action it was!

When the time of departure of Ma came, all, in a body, flooded with

tears, started with Ma for the ghat of the boat. At the time of farewell,
when Ma boarded the boat, what a sight it was of sorrow and tears in so
many Hindus and Muslim, without exception of any caste or class.

VIDYAKUT, THE PERMANENT ANCESTRAL HOMESTEAD

OF MA'S PATERNAL LINEAGE

Vidyakut bad been the ancestral abode of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari

Bhattacharya Mahasaya from generation to generation. It was a
flourishing village, inhabited by many noble families of learning. There
were several learned pundits too at that time; and more than three
hundred houses of near relations of Shriyukt Bipin Bihari Mahasaya.
Here too that fair of rejoicing grew till more in intensity. People had
come from neighbouring villages also for Ma's darshan. Ma was taken
from house to house, and with what reverence and devotion, bhog and
the like were offered to Her.

Educated people of the village and pundits assembled and sitting with
Ma, started asking questions on various spiritual subjects, including the
 area of non-dualism too. On receiving today from the lips of one, who
bad no education and whom they had fondled by taking Her in their laps
and on their backs during Her temporary visits to Vidyakut in Her
childhood, such simple and comprehensive answers to their abstruse
questions on profound spiritual themes, they were charmed and felt very
proud recalling that She was one of their own.

(Moved emotionally), some of them had even tears in their eyes. Kheora
is Ma's birthplace, the place of Her childhood lila and Vidyakut Her
father's home. In the latter too, Ma had done lilas in plenty. Having
touched the dust of this holy land in this environment, they, who had
accompanied Ma, felt themselves blessed.

SULTANPUR �

MA'S MATERNAL UNCLE'S HOME

Now came the turn of Sultanpur. In this very place, there had been
the grihastashram of Ramakanta Bhattacharya. What a phenomenal
living form of the aspects of the ideal of a rishi it was that existed one
day in this sacred place! In later years, there had been the advent of Ma,
and in this very Ashram were revealed so many heart-gladdening ways
of Her childhood lilas. Our Ma, of course, belongs to the line of this
family too. This, the great advent, a flashing touch of i[ was granted to
the people of this village at this time through Her Kheyala. As much of
that heart-captivating account as finds expression through this pen of
ours, we shall try narrating that only to close the subject of this chapter.
Revealed as the Mother of the Universe before the world, Ma arrives today at this very village at
this very auspicious moment within the view of the villagers. The journey started from the ghat of
the boat and ended at that house of Ma's maternal uncle, which had been the scene of so many joy-
giving lilas of Ma. None of the uncles of Ma was present there that day in gross form. In this super
festival of rejoicing, how could their absence be made up now. In the pure heart of Ma's youngest
maternal uncle, there' were, till his last moment, in illumined wakefulness and in numberless
forms, the sacred pictures of affectionate, reverential devotion towards Ma, covering Her child-
hood lilas,specially in this very holy Ashram where the parts fill up their respective places, there is
the unbroken whole of non-picture picture.*

*There
cannot be
any
objective
picture of
the
unbroken
whole, i.e.
no-pictures,
but when,
again,
 imagined at
the mental
level, there
is a picture,
which is
only a
reflection
of the
mind, i.e., a
picture.

Therefore, their participation today is also in their appropriate Svarupa - this is what occurs in our
heart.

Respected Nishikanta Smritibhushan Mahasaya was my father. (He used

to be addressed by Ma as Thakudbhai - an address of respect to the elder
brother). He was the eldest son of Ma's eldest maternal uncle (TIakur
Maina), Shriyukt Gurucharan Bhattacharya Mahasaya. Only my father
and his younger brother Shriyukt Shashikanta Mahasaya with their
families were present there. The question arose as to how the wives of
respectable families of the village and infirm old people could have
darshan of Ma. Would it be manageable to take Ma walking along the
main road of the village? At that time, sometimes, Ma used to be a little
in a tender bhava. Therefore, how could She be taken walking over such
a long distance. At the sometime, all the people of the village had an
intense longing to have Ma's darshan. Besides, this was also the one-
pointed desire of my father. His family was of pundits. And, since Ma
had come to this house (he felt that), everyone should be blessed by
gaining darshan of Ma.

The Procession �

A Picture of Overflowing Love and Devotion for Ma

As a solution to this problem, a bedstead was decorated and something

like a 'throne' made on it. And then a prayer to Ma: "Ma, be gracious
enough and take your seat on it".

Though Ma continued raising objections and offering resistance, yet, in

the face of ardent solicitation of the villagers, these objections too had,
as if, no place. In response to their appeal, submission and prayer, Ma
was obliged to sit on the 'throne'.

And immediately and enthusiastically, with joy and delight, the villagers
placed the bedstead on their shoulders and marched forth with Ma.
Though it was noticed that Ma was in a tender bhava quite often, yet Her movement from place to
place continued even in that condition. It could not be said with certainty whether at this time She
had Her eyes closed or open.

Then, it would also not occur always in Ma's Kheyala to say clearly even 'yes' or 'no'. Many have
witnessed that (in Ma) eating, behaviour, keeping clothes on the body in ()order, etc., were aspects
(of life) that were missing in that period-never wee they noticed to be (attended to) precisely in the
normal way. If Ma had Her present bhava at that time, we are not sure whether She could have
been made to sit on the 'throne' like this. Of course, one cannot say what might have been
the bhava of Ma in response to the feeling of the devotees. In Ma, of course, it is noticed that
everything is possible. Even so, Ma did get down once, in between, from the bedstead afterwards,
and walked too a little distance for a while. It was, however, a long distance to cover, and on the
way, mud and water had accumulated at places due to rain.

A Scene of Desperate Bid for Ma's Darshan:

An Impatiently Eager Concourse in a Mad Rush

There was that small girl, whose figure, a centre of attraction �

restless with laughter and radiant with surging joy-had one day touched
the heart while appearing in the sweet form of childhood lila in the view
of all. And today, that very one, the Self in the Self with innate beauty
was here too, one did not know, in what (a majesty), before the people of
this village.

In this form, Ma is in this village, but where have we even the ideas and
the language to describe that (which is before us). Whom did the
villagers see and with what eye, it was, as if, even they were not aware
of. Moreover, despite their impatient eagerness, as to how and in what
way complete darshan could be had, that too was, as though, not being
achieved. There were countless people on the road, and an incredibly
heavy rush. Apart from this, some people bad climbed up trees, and
others, whoever could, had occupied every little space in any way
possible, so that there was, as if, not the least gap left anywhere. In
whichever direction one looked, there was a stream of people, every one
of whom had his eyes fixed in that one direction only.

Newly married women of respectable families, all in veil, had, as if, lost
even their normal way of shyness and went running along through any
opening available as each could manage. Their movement aimed at that
single object only with all eyes turned in the same direction. It was a big
village through which the route of the journey - had been divided into a
few sections for spectators, that is, each section earmarked for a
particular class of spectator.
 In that way the journey commenced with Ma. Remaining in front,
the Kirtan party continued singing together in one melodious tune.

By the mouth, all of you, that sweet Name say;

In the ear they may hear, sing ill such a way.

Go to jiva door to door, give the Name thus away;

Harey Krishna, harey Krishna,

Krishna Krishna harey harey.

(Besides this name) and the like, so many other names too (were sung)
with musical composition. In the presence of Ma, one did not know how
the emotional excitement of the villagers and simultaneously the
melodious sound of kirtan carried away everyone, whoever was present,
in the stream of nectar. The question of getting and of not getting whom
cannot arise, and after having whom, how there was then,
the jhankar (resonance) of billows ofbhava in every heart, and how the
people of the village got the touch of the Kheyala of the kheyal; (He only
knows)! *
* When
considered
from the
point of
view of the
Supreme
Reality,
there is no
question of
any
objective
experience.
That is why
the
question of
getting and
of not
getting
does not
arise. But
when the
figure is
looked
upon as an
object of
Supreme
Love, then
there is also
the having
of that
object. Khe
yala is the
one who
has
 the Kheyal
a.

What to say only about this village, there was, from far-off places too, a
continuous stream of spectators forming a vast concourse. There was no
arrangement like that of posts and telegraphs here. How, then, with a
lightning speed, did this news reach remote corners? And who it was that
had attracted and brought here children, old persons and young men and
women, indeed, all, without their knowledge? (It was) that small girl,
who had been in this very village on so many occasions. This is the place
of which every particle of dust had become sacred and blessed by the
touch of the feet of Ma in the form of a child, where that girl of
restless lila had moved about freely, in play everywhere with
harmonious participation in a joyful mood. How to be a witness and
recipient, even at this time, of that sacred wave of lila in its new form
and new rhythm-that is why there was this outburst of emotion! What
they got and what they saw-that was, indeed, a matter of their heart and
experienced in their heart only.
Whatever it was, after going round in this way, while moving slowly with Ma, they returned to the
house of my father in about four to five hours. A big crowd had already assembled in the house
where a great festival had been on with resounding kirtan, etc., and a fair of rejoicing well set in.
Making this house the centre, the entire village was beside itself with the preparation of a joyous
celebration.

Maunds and maunds of rice, pulses, vegetables, spices, etc., had been collected here, one did not
know from where and through whose inspiration, then cooked and followed by distribution
of Bhog-prasad, through an excellent orderly arrangement for its acceptance by all in a spirit of
fellow-feeling among them.

In the Imagination of Simple Village Folks, Ma as Different Aspects of

Divinity.

At another time, on an enquiry from my mother, I came to know that my

age, then, was more or less four or five years. Whatever the scene was of
Ma's auspicious arrival in this villa, a little flash of that seems to be in
me even now. Among the people belonging to different particular
religious sects, there was talk like this (about Ma) :

"Rama or Krishna or Mahaprabhu - who is it in this form?"

In another place, those of the Shakti-cult the worshippers of Shakti,

talked thus:
"Is She Shiva, Mother Durga or Mother Kali too in human form? If not,
who is She?"

Only those who could not understand anything more than this, talked
like that.

After all, they were villagers of those days, who knew nothing much
about spiritual side. So I had some sort of a little fear. A pratima (image
of a deity) remains stationary in the puja room, but when moving about
in a living form, one knew not what that might be. However, behind this
fear, even at that small age, the aspect of reverence and devotion to
Mother Kali and Mother Durga was there through family tradition, as it
should be. The form of my great good fortune was, till then, lying in the
womb of the future. It was not known to me at that time. Brahmachari
Prabhu Dutt Maharaj once made preparation to hold a religious festival
at Allahabad.

In that connection, I came to Ma for the first time.

My age at that time was seven or eight years. I have been an inmate of
the Ashram since then. Remaining thus under the shelter of Ma, I
consider myself blessed, successful or what other words are there to
express (my good fortune).

There is that great heredity about which we have heard from Ma's mouth
too. Its noble form was so splendid. And I find myself linked with it. I
too belong to the family of this lineage. There is that current of blood of
the Maharishi, it does flow through my veins too. For the touch of that
awakening-.4f it be my destiny to have it one day I beg compassion at
the feet of Ma and wait for that great moment (to arrive).

Reverting to the context of Ma's visit here, like an ordinary child, there
had been the childhood lila of Ma in the midst of all.

Now, again, in these very three places. She is having Her movement of
activity, specially while going round from door to door. Compared to
present days, however, Ma was not at all known so much at that time to
the masses like this. (Why) is it happening this way in the present
situation? Where is the answer to this question, and who, again, would
determine it?
 When, during Her childhood lila and in Her own bhava, with the
expression of great joy, Ma used to roam about from house to house,
door to door, then, at that time, whether an old man, an old woman, a
daughter-in-law, a daughter or a child of the same age group, in fact,
none at all felt happy if, on seeing Ma, that person where not to call and
talk to Her a little.

In this context, why only in every house and at every door, but on every
corner of the houses of all. She had Her jurisdiction - an open door and
the liberty to play and laugh.

In every family, so many children are there, but surely, none is of this
kind.

(In the circumstances), should we not understand that the shoot of the
spiritual condition that was planted 'in every heart through her play, has
blossomed out into this form today? Occasionally, some unusual
manifestation too occurred in Ma in their midst even at that time.

It was a welcome inspiration under which Ma was taken to Her

birthplace Kheora and other places at that time.

Had She not been taken thus, then for the old men and women-many of
whom had been eye witnesses of Her childhood lilas and had also
narrated so many stories of Her early days when She was a child-could
there ever have been such an opportunity again. Ma's stay for a limited
time in these three places was, as if, only to grant Her darshan to the
fortunate villagers without any distinction of caste and colour. There was
never to be this kind of darshan in this way again in future. So the timely
darshan in this manner was a fulfilment of their good luck. Being Ma-
centred and in the context of Her darshan, the common meeting and
association of the people of all these three villages and of other villages
t'o was, as if, the last such a get togeiher. Even at that time, they were
living in the homesteads of their forefathers in lineal succession and
many of them belonged to distinguished families. Today these are all
matters of imagination. After the partition of the country, this region was
initially in East Pakistan and now it is in Bangladesh.

Kheora, Vidyakut, Sultanpur-these are the three villages where Ma per-

formed Her child-lila in diverse patterns befitting a child. This child
form, while receiving the stream of affection and tenderness from the
village people, had, in Its own course of movement, in Its
innate bhava, perhaps awakened in their hearts a touch of the unknown
One. Some flash of Ananda pertaining to an unknown region of no
region, had caused a wavy unfoldment by itself in the heart of each one
in the presence and company of this child form. As if an embodied
stream of Ananda, flowing with its swell of billows, carried everyone
with it and that surging movement of an undulatory stream sustained,
with its rise and fall, the mode and tune pertaining to that Ananda in
each heart. Hers was a free movement everywhere from door to door in
Her own rhythm of giving and taking in the context of Her
own Kriya taking place by itself.

Perhaps the embodied form of fulfilment of all wants, allowing its touch
to be conferred in Its own way to the deserving at the appropriate time,
thus assuring that fulfilment unnoticed, and while arousing a want for it
in Its presence, that child form had established Itself in all hearts as their
respective objectives.

In this last chapter of this volume that child appears in the form of the
Mother of the world. And how that place of affection and tenderness in
the heart of the village people of those three villages got transformed!

And what was the nature of this viewing by them today under this
transformation? The touch of that Supreme, which lay latent and hidden
in the form of a seed in the context of His child lila, after taking a
sprouted form has today grown up in the form of a tree, well adorned
with flower and fruit, resulting in an open Kriya taking place by itself,
for attraction of all hearts aiming at the indication of the Svarupa thus
unfolded!

'Where, with the bhava of a common child, Ma had Her child-lila in the
midst of them all, now, again, at these very three places, moving around
there; She had Her course of Kriya in each of heir houses. At that time,
however, compared with present day, She was definitely not so well
known among the public in this manner. In this context, how could there
be such a transformation! Where is the solution of this problem, who
else is going to solve it?'

In the first two volumes here, we are getting the solution in the form of
an introduction only, In the subsequent volumes, we shall notice the
great mansion of the Supreme Svarupa in the inconceivable, indefinable
light of glory in the course of its own unfoldment. In that mansion, there
 is place for all individuals - a complete form in the context of
development and unfoldment of each.

He is also,

the only One,

He is all,

He is none at all-giving complete forms of affirmation, negation, again

no question too of affirmation, negation.

Beyond the course of mind, where the question of a course and absence
of it has no place, what it is and what it is not - there is that Indivisible
great Perfection.

In this great mansion,

there are all places,

absence of place.

VOLUME 2
 THE END 
 Link to Volume 3 