Writing guide
Part 1, Essay
Understanding the task
1 R ea d th e e x a m qu estion and a n sw er q u estion s a - c b elo w .
Read the tw o texts below.
W rite an essay summarizing and evaluating the key
points from both texts. Use your ow n words throughout
as far as possible, and include your ow n ideas in
the answer.
W rite your answer in 2 4 0-280 words.
Chasing th e ya n k ee d olla r
Th e concept that m oney brings happiness is flaw ed and
naive fo r tw o fundamental reasons. Firstly, being rich
is only relative to the spending pow er o f others w ithin
our circle, so inevitably w e com pare ourselves to this
cohort. In other words, the desire is not necessarily to
be w ealthy but w ealthier than others. In addition to
this, w e set ourselves goals, such as the purchase o f
writing g u id e
a car or the acquisition o f a house; on attainment o f
such achievements w e feel a sense o f satisfaction. Yet
this is short-lived, and the endless cycle requires n ew
goals and targets to make us happy; inevitably, these
m ethods w ill n ever bring happiness.
It isn t ju s t th e m o n e y
It is w id ely accepted that the happiest countries are
also am ong the richest, but the reason for this is not
im m ediately obvious. A glance around society proves
that m oney in isolation does not bring happiness. It
is clear that people dont derive genuine fulfilment
from the shallow hoarding o f consumer products, or
even the purchase o f high-end goods. However, whilst
wealth on its ow n m ight not engender a feeling o f
happiness or satisfaction, what it does do is to facilitate
access to products and services that prom ote a sense o f
well-being, such as health and education.
a Do the texts contain com plem entary or contrasting
perspectives?
b Paraphrase the tw o main points in each o f the tw o texts,
c W hat are your initial thoughts and reactions to the ideas?
2 R ead the m o d e l a n sw er and pay p a rticu la r a tten tio n to
th e co m m en ts 1-12.
The pursuit of happiness and wealth are two dreams and
concepts that occupy much of humanity, but to what extent
are the two interconnected? Can it really be argued that the
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acquisition of money and material goods is a prime signifier
of fulfilment? Both texts (1) discuss the nature of these
concepts, but from a different perspective (2).
The first passage (3) argues that people chase riches
to feel superior to others and to attain a given target (4).
I personally feel (5) this will resonate with many people
because we are conditioned by society to believe that this is
what gives our lives meaning. Having possession (6) of more
and more items generates a temporary feeling of satisfaction,
and acquiring these in the pursuit of status leaves the ever
present fear that other people will surpass our efforts.
In contrast, the second text (7) proposes that the
interconnected nature of wealth and other services such as
education and health means that inevitably money does
result in happiness (8). Whilst (9) we might not exactly feel
euphoric in the midst of some medical procedure or when
standing in line outside the classroom door, I would agree
that (10) having sufficient prosperity to take advantage of
these services is a vital part of our sense of well-being. Were
these services stripped away (11) or put beyond the reach
of affordability, the negative impact on our mental as well as
physical health would be considerable.
In conclusion, it could be argued that flash cars and
mansions allow limited progress along the path to happinpss.
However, if those fundamental services, which are facilitated
by money and taken for granted bv us all, were ripped from
our grasp. I have no doubt that levels of contentment would
M (12).
Comments on the model answer
1 A good reference to both texts in the introductory paragraph.
2 This signals a good early reference to the contrastive nature
o f the texts.
3 Focuses attention on the ideas in text 1.
4 Good paraphrase o f text.
5 Clear shift to personal stance indicating evaluation.
6 G ood use o f a participle clause and helps maintain the link
w ith the previous sentence.
7 Clearly marks the transition to the second text to give a
balanced alignment.
8 Good paraphrase o f text.
9 G ood use o f concessionary clause.
10 A clear indicator o f personal opinion.
11 Good use o f inversion which suits the m ore form al style.
12 Re-states the w riters main argument.
Improve the essay
3 L o o k at th e essay b e lo w a n s w e rin g th e sam e q u estio n
as th e m o d e l answ er. R e a d th e essay an d t r y to im p ro v e
areas you th in k a re w eak .
Happiness is a feelin g many people desire, and we
consequently strive to achieve this state. For some,
it is a flawed and naive concept that m oney brings
happiness but for others, m oney enables people to
acquire the products and services that they can derive
satisfaction from.
From one perspective, for som e p eople it is on ly
im portant to feel rich relative to others w ithin their
circle. W hen w e feel w ealthy in comparison to this
cohort w e perceive that we are rich. Additionally, w e
set ourselves goals and, w hen w e m eet these goals, w e
feel a sense o f satisfaction. Unfortunately, this feelin g is
short-lived and the endless cycle means that n ew goals
and aims are n eeded to make us happy.
Another perspective is that m on ey in itself does not
bring happiness but it enables people to purchase the
products and services that they derive satisfaction
from. N ot from typical material goods but through
other m ore basic and important needs. T h e richest
countries unsurprisingly are also the happiest
countries. W hilst m oney on its ow n m ight not bring
happiness, it does let people access health and
education that provide much satisfaction. Its not the
m oney on its ow n that makes you happy but the things
its linked to like health and education.
In conclusion, happiness is a goal m any wish to
pursue and so they look for different ways to achieve
it. It does h ow ever allow access to basic services from
which much satisfaction is derived.
U seful la n g u a g e
Cohesive language
Expressing similar ideas Expressing opposing ideas
Furthermore, ... However, ...
In addition, ... On the other hand, ,..
Moreover, ... Nevertheless, ...
Likewise, ... Nonetheless, ...
Similarly, ...
Expressing results Restating or explaining
accordingly... in other w o rd s ...
as a consequence ... in particular...
h e n ce ... that is (to sa y)...
th u s ... specifically...
for these reasons... Concluding
consequently... All in a ft,...
Contrasting tw o statem ents In b rie f,...
Instead, ... In conclusion,...
On the contrary,... To summarize,...
Rather (than)...
Exam practice
4 L o o k at this fu rth e r e x a m p le o f a P a rt 1 essay task and
p ra ctise w r itin g an answ er.
Read the tw o texts below.
W rite an essay sum m arizing and evaluating the key
points from both texts. Use your ow n words throughout
as far as possible, and include your ow n ideas in the
answer. W rite your answer in 2 4 0 -2 8 0 words.
O u t o f c o n tro l
writing g u id e
Th e boom-bust cycle o f w orld economies is hardly
a m odern phenom enon, spanning som e 400 years
in various guises. The pursuit o f w ealth through
speculation on markets exem plifies the inextricable
link, to the human eye, betw een m oney and happiness.
H ow ever, were it simply a m atter o f acquiring enough
valuable com m odities to maintain a certain standard
o f livin g then perhaps the constant m aelstrom o f
econom ic grow th follow ed by the despair o f recession
could be avoided. Unfortunately, once one man
becom es rich, another seeks to attain the same or
a higher position until the value o f such goods and
services reaches yet again an unsustainable level and
the inevitable decline ensues.
Basic needs
Striving for greater riches is som ething which
transcends every aspect and level o f society.
Stereotyped as the greed o f the rich elite, this
perspective naively hides the fact that the vast m ajority
o f the w orld exists b elo w the poverty line. A t least 80%
o f humanity lives on less than $10 dollars per day and
is fighting a constant battle fo r survival. It is therefore
not surprising that to a certain extent m on ey is equated
w ith happiness, since the incom e derived from (often
strenuous) labour enables individuals to eke out a
m eagre existence and the sim ple provision o f food and
shelter is not a simple given fact but a pleasure and
com fort for all.
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