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Busquets 1

Angela Busquets

Writing 2

March 19, 2017

Portfolio Revision Sheet: WP#3

The revisions for WP #3 were definitely more difficult to make because, I had not gotten

a grade yet or comments. Ultimately, I was flying blind as to what I needed to fix. I did not know

what I had done well and what could have been improved, so I decided to change things that I

personally did not like about the writing, and to go more in depth of my explanation about the

transformation and the individual genres themselves.

My first changes were grammar and punctuation. The actual writing changes I made

began I the introduction where I deleted something that found similarities and chose to focus on

the differences in order to allude to the organization of my paper. I did this by replacing, The

two are very similar in what composes them, but the audience intended is what makes them so

different, to The audience intended is what makes the two disciplines so different. Although

similar I felt like being direct is more important than anything else, because I struggle with that. I

also made decisions to cut out many parts of my original essay that I felt focused more on the

book or ads than on what composes the ads. An example of this is when I cut, Occasionally,

pre-schools and kindergartens use the book to teach young children how to share, or not be

selfish, and replaced it with, The book is very short like most childrens books because that is a

key characteristic. Length is a part of childrens books discourse community because childrens

books are meant to be read quickly before bed. I wanted to maintain true to the prompt and

make sure I included more of what I learned in the course, and you can see this throughout the

revised writing.
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Further along in the essay, I made the decision to include a significant amount of more

discussion about pathos and how childrens books and campaign ads rely on this heavily because

they both need to build a relationship with their audience in order to be successful. Examples of

this include things such as this sentence, Campaign ads heavily rely on pathos, and a persons

emotions. They do this because it is an efficient way to relate to another person. Another thing I

made sure to do more in my paper was include more about what a discourse communitys

generalizations were from campaign ad to childrens book. An example of this in my text is when

I write, Both ads use dark colors, bold writing, and come from the perspective of the abused.

These are all characteristics that help differentiate the discourse community of campaign ads

against abusive relationships.

The last big changes I did included moving the structure of paragraphs around and also

adding a lot more description about why I made certain choices in my translation or included

different things. An example of this is, The apples I included because of the story of Adam and

Eve, except in my twist the pictured abuser commits the sin and bites the apple. I included this to

really hammer down the distinction between abuser and abused, and also relate back to The

Giving Tree. I made a lot of changes to my original WP#3, and because of this my essay did get

lengthy, but while writing I made sure to cut things that I felt were unnecessary, and make the

writing more concise.


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The Taking Boy

Childrens books are meant to be easy to understand, fun to read, and teach a lesson.

Similarly, ads against abusive relationships are meant to be easy to understand, capture the

reader, and also teach a lesson. The audience intended is what makes the two disciplines so

different. Childrens books target families and ads against abusive relationships target young

adults and older generations.

The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein, contains all the basic elements of a childrens book.

It is fictional, there are images, and a clear lesson is taught. The Giving Tree is a narrative poem,

and the moral of the story is to always be kind. This also falls into the general category of

childrens books because poems have shorter lines. The book is used to teach young children

how to share, or not be selfish. In the book, a boy develops a friendship with a tree, and her

constant kindness follows the boy as he grows up. The book is very short like most childrens

books because that is a key characteristic. Length is a part of childrens books discourse

community because childrens books are meant to be read before bed. The poem is beautifully

and simply illustrated, which is another way it fits into the discourse community of a childrens

book. The lines on each page tend to be no more than a few words, and this is because wordy

text will lose their audiences attention. Since, the book was actually a poem it not only has the

aforementioned fewer lines, but also a more broken structure that is open for interpretation.

While reading The Giving Tree as a child, a reader focuses on how selfless the tree is, and aspires
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to be just as kind. This is because, the discourse community of childrens books requires a lesson

to be taught. The book also ends with the line, and the tree was happy, which is another key

part of a childrens book. They must all have happy endings. Another thing that fits into the genre

of childrens books is the fact that the tree can talk. Childrens books are fiction, and therefore

animals, objects, and even trees can talk. As an adult, the focus shifts from all the happy

fairytale aspects in the book to how greedy the boy is, and what type of relationships mirror this

one. At first, it appears to be the relationship between a mother and son, but a closer examination

could see the relationship as an on again off again relationship that is not mutually beneficial at

all. The moral of the story which is a key part in childrens literature shifts, and the question

arises of who Silverstein intended the book to be for.

Campaign ads about abusive relationships are a relatively new genre, but as the ban has

been lifted and talking about abuse is no longer taboo, speaking out is a growing trend. Ads

about mentally abusive relationships are even newer, as the definition of abuse has expanded to

include verbal and emotional abuse. Campaign ads targeting this kind of abuse tend to list signs

of abuse on the poster, a way to get help, and a powerful image. Similar to childrens books, a

campaign ad is meant to quickly and efficiently teach a lesson. A good campaign ad will make

the reader feel strongly influenced by it, and most campaign ads are sad and powerful. Typical

campaign ads use short bolded statements, and the images include a person who appears to be in

severe distress. Ads against abusive relationships always include a link or number to get help,

and encourage people to speak out. These ads can be found in many places, examples of this are

in magazines, as posters, a bus decoration, etc. Unlike childrens books they are not limited to

one form of expression. Campaign ads themselves usually focus on the victim; they do this

because they want all the attention to be focused on the person they are trying to save. Ads
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against abusive relationships tend to not have too much information or stimulation going on

because they want their main message to be loud and clear. This is also a characteristic of

childrens books. For example, one ad has a picture of a girl curled in a ball, and has You dont

care about me. All you want is my body, splayed across the picture. This ad draws strong

emotion for the young girl, as a reader you want to help her, or save her from her abuser. This is

the purpose of the ad, but even more than that the creator wants girls to draw parallels from their

relationship, and make them think if they feel the same way. The target audience here is young

teenagers in relationships that could be sexually or physically abusive. Campaign ads heavily

rely on pathos, and a persons emotions. They do this because it is an efficient way to relate to

another person. Another example says, She takes my money. She says she needs it. I am afraid

to say no, but I dont know what to do, written across the top. The picture has a young man

hiding in the doorway in the background and a younger woman counting money with a stern

expression more towards the front. Abusive relationships are usually draining in some way, and

this ad shows that clearly. It is obvious in this picture who the abuser and the abused is, this is the

purpose of a good campaign ad. This ad always appeals to a persons pathos, as the audience

feels bad for the man, and furious at the abusive woman. This particular ad also switches old

gender roles, that give people the preconceived idea that only men can be the abusers in a

relationship which is not true. Both ads use dark colors, bold writing, and come from the

perspective of the abused. These are all characteristics that help differentiate the discourse

community of campaign ads against abusive relationships.

The transformation was easily the most interesting part of the project. Kerry Dirks in

Navigating Genres, writes, genres often have formulaic features, but these features can

change even as the nature of the genre remains, I decided to transform The Giving Tree into an
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ad against abusive relationships because I saw a lot of crossover between the two (Dirks 6).

Campaigns against abusive relationships list clear signs as evidence of abuse, and the childrens

book showed these signs. The relationship was clearly one sided as the tree gave the boy

everything and expected nothing in return. The tree also like most abusive relationships starts off

whole and finishes just a stump of what she was. The reality is that upon reading the book there

are two hidden lessons. Children can either learn to behave like the tree or the terrible little boy.

The boy was the abuser and he had characteristics that campaign ads often portray as warning

signs specifically being controlling, having unrealistic expectations, blaming others for his own

mistakes, and rigid gender roles (15 Warning Signs Your Relationship Is Abusive Kay). The

boy exhibits both controlling behavior and unrealistic expectations when he expects the tree to

give him everything in order for him to be happy. For example, at one point in the book the boy

asks for money and the tree responds I'm sorry," said the tree, "but I have no money. I have only

leaves and apples. Take my apples, Boy, and sell them in the city. Then you will have money and

you will be happy,"(6 Silverstein). This action is repeated throughout the book, as the boy takes

more and more from the tree, this is why in one of the ads in my transformation the caption is

You only want me for my body, a caption I found on a similar ad against domestic

relationships. This continues throughout the story until finally, the tree says, "I am sorry," sighed

the tree. "I wish that I could give you something.... but I have nothing left. I am just an old

stump. I am sorry...."even at its end the tree wants to give the boy more than it can (5

Silverstein). This is a typical sign of abusive relationships. I used this quote taken from the book

to caption my other ad with because it is another main trait of abusive relationships. The abused

tends to feel like they are the problem, and feels guilty for letting their abuser down which is
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why they stay in the relationship. The boy makes the tree depressed and emotional abuse is

defined as,

Psychological abuse (also referred to as psychological violence, emotional abuse or

mental abuse) is a form of abuse, characterized by a person subjecting, or exposing, another

person to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic

depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (21 Signs of An Abusive Relationship).

The boy may not intend to hurt the tree the way he does, but it is clear that his greed, and selfish

actions deteriorate the tree both emotionally and physically as she is left as just a stump and he

still proceeds to sit on her. This is why I included the stump in one of the ads I created. The

abusive boy sits on the stump, and the girl who has given everything to make him happy is on the

floor in a fetal position. The apples I included because of the story of Adam and Eve, except in

my twist the pictured abuser commits the sin and bites the apple. I included this to really hammer

down the distinction between abuser and abused, and also relate back to The Giving Tree.

The story is really tragic. The tree who draws a female voice begins strong, beautiful, and

hopelessly lost in love. She ends nothing but an old stump of who she was, and the boy who

changes into as old man continues to use her, and because she has become so broken down she

no longer can fight back. The really sad part is that she does not even know she has been abused

the book ends, the boy did. And the tree was happy. The tree gives everything for the boy

and she is happy doing so. The book should be used as an example of what a relationship

should not do to you, and this is why I created the ad using this childrens book. The Giving

Tree, fits into the genre of a childrens book perfectly, but with a simple twist of a few

features or a little deeper reading a dark tale is found. The campaign ads are strong in their
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simplicity, and I really wanted to focus on this with my pictures. I did not want to flood the

audience with a cheesy message because that is not what these ads are meant to do. They are

dark and depressing, but only because they hope to teach. I believe that by incorporating

symbols from both genres a stronger result was created, and that the symbolism pushed

through more than a direct answer. The Giving Tree was not intended to have a negative

connotation, but there is something there and Silversteins artistry can be interpreted as more

than just a simple lesson about kindness, just the way a picture with a man and woman

separated can mean a lot more than just physical distance.


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Works Cited

Kay, Wendy. "15 Undeniable Warning Signs You Are In an Abusive Relationship." YourTango.

N.p., 2015. Web. 2017.

Lowe, Charles, and Pavel Zemliansky. Writing Spaces: Readings on Writing. West Lafayette,

IN: Parlor, 2010. Writing Spaces. 2010. Web. 2017.

Silverstein, Shel. The Giving Tree. New York, NY: HarperCollins, 1964. Print.

Smith, Melinda. "Domestic Violence and Abuse." Domestic Violence and Abuse: Are You or

Someone You Care About in an Abusive Relationship? HelpGuide, 2017. Web. 09

Mar. 2017.

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