ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION OUMH13

03

Good morning everyone. I am honored to be with you today to share my view on

parenting. Im going to share my opinions on the difficulties of being parents today, how to raise
a kid with all- rounded personality. It is very difficult to be good parents today. Not only do we
need to make both physical and mental effort as in raising our children, but we also need to make
important decisions that will affect the future development of our children. The most difficult
part lies in we live in an even-changing society and knowledge based economy. We and our
children must be able to adapt to changes. The traditional type of parenting may no longer be
suitable for us to follow or serve as a reference. Thus, it is of course important for us, parents to
explore the most suitable type of parenting for our children.

Are you a good parent? Every parent wishes to be the best parent in the world. But sorry
to say, when the life turns into reality, most of the parents fail to remain best parents or at least
good parents. Being a parent can be one of the most rewarding and fulfilling experiences of the
life, but that doesnt mean its easy. No matter what age your child or children are, your work is
never done. Everybody wants to be a good parent. We can easily get many books, journal,
magazine even tips in how to be a good parent. But actually there cant be any specific rules or
guidelines for parenting. Some rules might work for some parents but not for others. Parenting is,
in fact the interpersonal relationship between parents and children. The depth, intensity or the
methods or relationship is highly personal and what works between few parents and children
may not be the same for certain parents and children. To be a good parent, you need to know how
to make your children feel valued and loved, while teaching them the different between right and
wrong.

Ladies and gentleman, there are multiple aspects to be considered to decide how the kids
are to be brought up and what approach parents should adapt to grow up kids in the best way.
Give your child love and affection. Sometimes the best thing you can give your child is love
and affection. But you cannot too love because it can simply spoil a child. Expressing love and
affection is the most important way of making good parents. Many parents say that they love
their kids more than any parent does. But we always heard that the kid complain of less
affectionate and less loved parents. As a parent, when we didnt express the love and affection, is
worthless. There are many ways to show your love and affection. You can give a gentle cuddle, a

1
 ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION OUMH13
03

little encouragement, appreciation, approval or even a smile can go a long way to boost the
confidence and well being of your children. Let say, for example, first day your child come to
school, they might be afraid for everything. It is new environment for them. You as the parent
can show your love to make them confidence. Another way to show the love and affection is to
tell them every day, no matter how angry at them you may be. Give lots of hugs and some kisses.
Love them unconditionally, dont force them to be who you think they should be in order to earn
your love. Let them know that you will always love them no matter.

Ladies and gentleman, to be a good parent, praising your children is very important.
Ray Burke states, Praise is powerful. Praising your child is one of the most important things you
can do as a parent. Praise is nourishment. It helps your child grow emotionally, just as food helps
your child grow physically (Burke, 1997, pg. 51). You want your kids to feel proud of their
accomplishment and good about themselves. If you dont give them the confidence they need to
be out in the world on their own, then they wont feel empowered to be independent or
adventurous. The reason behind giving praise is to build up self esteem, to give a belief of
personal satisfaction, with the addition of feeling secure within one self (Hurlock, 1978, pg. 311).
When they do something good, let them know that youve noticed and that youre very proud of
them. For example, if they can count 1 to 10 correctly, you can praise them. So it can make them
proud. As good parent, try to make a habit of praising your children at least three times as much
as you give them negative feedback. Though its important to tell your children when theyre
doing something wrong. If your children are too young to understand, praise them with treats,
applause and lots of love. Try to encouraging them for doing everything on their own.

If you dont manage your childs behavior when he is young, he will have hard time
learning how to manage him when he is older and you arent around. So to be a good parent you
need to enforce reasonable rules to your child. Creating a list of expectations (such as social,
academic, religious, family oriented, personal appearance or hygiene) for different settings and
activities will help parents be very specific and concrete in teaching their children (Burke, 1997,
pg. 73). As I concern, its important to set rules and guidelines that help your child develop and
grow without being a strict that your child feels like he cant take a step without doing something
wrong. Ideally, your child should love you more than he fears your rules. To implement the rules,
first you need to communicate your rules clearly. Lets the children know the consequences of

2
 ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION OUMH13
03

their actions. If you give them a punishment, be sure they understand the reason and the fault.
Then, make sure that you not only set reasonable rules, but that you enforce them reasonably.
The important things when its deal with the rules is you need to apply the same rules always. Do
not be flexible according to your comfort. Rules are to be rules what may happen. This approach
will infuse kids the feeling of importance of obeying parents always. As good parent, avoid
overly harsh forms of punishment or anything that involves physically hurting your child.

Who have more than one child? Actually each child is individual and unique. As parent
avoid comparing your children to others, especially siblings. If you fail to avoid it, it may
give your children an inferiority complex, an idea that they can never be good enough in your
eyes. If you want to help them improve their behavior, talk about meeting their goals on their
own terms, instead of telling them to act like their sister or neighbor. This will help them develop
a sense of self. If you always comparing one child to another, it can also make one child develop
a rivalry with his or her sibling. You want to nurture a loving relationship between your children,
not a competitive one. Many surveys have shown that most parents have favorites, but most
children believe that they are the favorite. As parent, please avoid favoritism. For example, if
your children are quarreling, dont choose sides, but be fair and neutral.

Its important that your communication with your children goes both ways. You need listen
to your child. Parents need to be good listeners. They are sometimes too quick to judge our
children's actions and words that they do not hear them cry for love, attention or help. Parents
need to listen to their child's feelings and reactions to things. Also, you need to let them have
their own opinions and voice them too. You should look at your child and show them that you are
listening to them. You shouldnt just be there to enforce rules, but to listen to your children when
they are having problem. You have to be able to express interest in your children and involve
yourself in their life. Talk to them and listen to them always. Children like talking and they
demand parents to be good listener. Never obstruct the talks of children or interfere. Let them
express all their feelings to you and through this, you can understand what they really want and
how they feel about you. For example, you can even set aside a time to talk to your children
every day. This can be before bedtime, at breakfast, or during teatime. Treat this time as sacred
and avoid checking your phone or getting distracted. One more thing, if your child says he has to
tell you something, make sure you take this seriously and drop everything youre doing.

3
 ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION OUMH13
03

Its important to criticize your childrens actions, instead of your actual child. To be a good
parent you need to criticize your childs behavior, not your child. As a parent you may want
your child to learn that he or she can accomplish whatever he or she wants through his or her
behavior, instead of being stuck being one kind of person. Let him or her feel like he has the
agency to improve his behavior. For example, when your child acts out in a harmful and spiteful
manner, you as parent need to tell him or her that such behavior is unacceptable and suggest
alternatives. Avoid statements such as, Youre bad. Instead, say something like, It was very
wrong to be mean to your little sister. Then, explain why the behavior was bad. Try to be
assertive yet kind when pointing out what they have done wrong. Be stern and serious, but not
cross or mean, when you tell them what you expect. Avoid public humiliation. If they misbehave
in public, take them aside and scold them privately.

Ladies and gentleman, to be a good parent means you need to be a good role model. Do
what I say and not what I do is a common phrase that is often repeated; however it only confuses
children. Children will not do what the parent says, since they will do what the parents have
modeled. If you want your child to be well-behaved, then you should model the behavior and
character you hope your children will adopt and continue to live by the rules that you set. The
parents main goal is to always set a positive example that the children can model by (Burke,
1997, pg 150). Show them by example in additional to verbal explanation. Children have a
tendency to become what they see and hear unless they make a conscious and concerted effort to
break the mold. Each and every time you practice doing the right thing in a situation with your
child; you increase the chances for their success and decrease the likelihood that your child will
see that problem behavior in the future (Burke, 1997, pg. 97). You as parent dont have to be a
perfect person, but you should strive to do as you want your children to do, so you dont look
hypocritical if you tell your children to be polite to others when they find you getting in a heated
argument in the supermarket. Life is a great teacher. Dont be too quick to rescue your child from
the results of their own actions if the consequences are not overly severe. Its perfectly okay to
make mistakes, but you should apologize or let your child know that the behavior is not good.
You can say something like, Mommy didnt mean to yell at you. She was just very upset. This
is better than ignoring that you made a mistake, because that will show the child that he or she
should model this behavior. Other example, teach kids about chores by setting a schedule and

4
 ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION OUMH13
03

having them help you out. Dont tell your child to do something, but ask for their help. The
earlier they learn to help you, the longer they will be willing to. If you want your son or daughter
to learn to share, set a good example and share your things with them.

Its important that your children think of you and your spouse as a united front (be a united
front with your spouse), as two people who will both say yes or no to the same things. If
your kids think that their mother will always say yes and their father will say no, then theyll
think that one parent is better or more easily manipulate that the other. They should see you and
your spouse as a unit and so you dont find yourself in a difficult situation because you and your
spouse dont agree on certain things when it comes to raising the kids. This doesnt mean that
you and your spouse have to agree 100% about everything having to do with the kids. But it does
mean that you should work together to solve problems that involve the children, instead of being
pitted against each other. You shouldnt argue with your spouse in front of the children. If they
are sleeping, argue quietly. Children may feel insecure and fearful when they hear parents
bickering. In addition, children will learn to argue with each other the same way they hear their
parents argue with each other. Show them that when people disagree, they can discuss their
differences peacefully.

To conclude let me say a parent's work is never done. Effective parenting has never been
more important to a familys success than today. Proper parenting shapes the coming
generations, and the way the next generation will behave, affecting the world around them.
History has taught us that parenting without a proper foundation has always and indefinitely lead
to confusion for any developing child. That is why the attempt of trying to be a successful parent
is so important and will be the most important job of ones life . Knowing what healthy methods
are best for ones child during parenting is time consuming but a rewarding effort. Though you
may think you have already molded and raised your child into the person he or she will become
by the time your child done his or her graduation cap, this is far from true. Your parenting will
have a life-long effect on your child and you should always give your child the love and affection
he needs, even if you're hundreds of miles away. While you won't always be a constant daily
presence in your child's life, you should always let your children know that you care about them
and that you'll be there for them, no matter what. Be kind to yourself. Actually as a parent youre
doing a good job. Being a parent can be challenging. No one is perfect and we learn as we go.

5
 ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION OUMH13
03

Take the time to celebrate the great things youve done as a parent, and to anticipate the best
form your children. Finally let me say that I am heartened to see many fellow parents here today
intent to be better parents.