ES1103AY2016_2017Week5_tutorial1_WritingCohesiveTexts_LM

Writing cohesive texts

Bytheendofthelesson,youwillbeableto:

Recognisethegeneralstructureofaproblemsolutionessay
Analysethelinguisticfeaturesneededtoguideyourreaderalongthelogicaldevelopmentof
youressay
Incorporatetheselinguisticfeaturesinyouressays
Writethethesisstatementandthetopicsentencesforyourproblem/solutionessay

Preparationbeforeclass:

Youshouldreadandcompletethetasksonthematicprogressionon:
http://writesite.elearn.usyd.edu.au/m3/m3u5/m3u5s3/m3u5s3_1.htm

Keywords:Introduction,Thesisstatement(Macrotheme),TopicSentences(Hypertheme),
Nominalisation,ThemeandNew,Generalnouns,Referencing,Lexicalchainsandlexicalsets,Linkers
(conjunctions)

I.Textanalysisforcohesion
A. MacroStructure

Cohesionstartswiththemacrostructureofyouressay.Yourreadershouldbeabletoeasilyfollowyour
argument/developmentfromthefirstparagraphtothelast.Toensurethis,youcanusethetoolsof
Thesisandtopicsentences(hyperthemes).

Thethesisisthemainpurposeofyourtext,themainmessage.Thisthesisisthendeveloped(explained)
intheparagraphs.

Eachparagraphshouldclearlylinktothethesis(showinghowitrelatestoitorsupportsit).Todothis,
youshoulduseahyperthemewhichlinksthepreviousparagraphwiththecurrentone.Thehyper
themeusuallyencapsulatesthepreviousparagraphandlinksittothecurrentparagraphsmainpoint.

ReadthishyperthemefromatextonMigration.Canyouhighlightwhatwasdiscussedintheprevious
paragraphandwhatthemaintopicforthisparagraphis?

Theeffectsofmigrationonpeopleandcommunitiesareasvariedasthereasonsforleaving
onescountry.

ES1103AY2016_2017Week5_tutorial1_WritingCohesiveTexts_LM
Lookattheoutlineofthetextonmigrationbelowandobservewaythewriterhasusedlanguageto
structuretheflowofthetextandguidethereaderwithclearsignposts.

Paragraph Linguistic features

1 (introduction) Nevertheless, recent research from
Macro-Theme academics and organisations such as
(thesis the United Nations have started to
statement) shed light on this evolving and multi-
faceted phenomenon helping to make
current migration motives as well as
impact better understood.
1. Body The majority of migration still occurs
Paragraph 1- among neighbouring nations in the
Hyper-theme poorer parts of the world and is
mainly due to wars that lead to
massive displacements of people who
seek protection across borders
2. Body The effects of migration on people
Paragraph 2_ and communities are as varied as the
Hyper-theme reasons for leaving ones country
4.Conclusion This book aims to provide an up-to-
date overview of these many facets of
human migration.
Use of general nouns to signpost what is
coming next in the texts/announce the
overall plan
Use of logical links (here a verb: to be
due to)= motives
Use of general nouns (here a synonym
of the general noun used in the
introduction/scope) to announce the
topic of the paragraph and to refer back
to the previous paragraph.
Referencing word
General noun (referring back to motives
and impacts)_

Linguisticfeaturesthatareusefulinmacrothemes:

Macrothemes(thesisstatements)areusuallyapreciseanswertothequestionraisedintheprompt.
Youmayusesomegeneralnounsinthescope(whereyouannouncewhattheessaywillcover),butthe
macrothemeshouldbeafullsentencethatanswersthepromptexplicitly(seethenotesintheEssay
Processhandoutregardingaworkingthesis).Inthecaseofyourproblem/solutionessay,themacro
thememuststatethespecificproblemyouarediscussing.Inthistutorial,itisenoughforyoutospecify
theproblem.Inthenexttutorialyouwillwriteafullintroductionforyouressay.

Linguisticfeaturesthatareusefulinhyperthemesare:

Referencingwords(these,this,such+noun)
Generalnouns(way,notion,idea,concept,variations,possibilities,occurrence,argument,
reasons,point,issues,impact,factors,facets).Generalwordsarewordswhichsummarize
previousconceptsinthetext(inwhichcasetheyoccurwithademonstrativepronounlikethis
orthese,orthedefinitearticlethe)and/orwhichindicatewhatwillbediscussedinthenext
sentences.
Conjunctionsorlinkingexpressions:beyondthese/also/Furthermore
Thematicprogression:theNEWfromthepreviousparagraph/sentenceisusedastheTHEMEin
thissentence(moreaboutthisbelow)

ES1103AY2016_2017Week5_tutorial1_WritingCohesiveTexts_LM

Thesefeaturesareusedincombination.Howmanyofthefeatures/strategiesabovecanyoufindinthe
sentencebelow?

Beyondtheseenvironmentalimpacts,furtherconsequencesofthepolicyhavebeennotedonthelocal
economy.

Task1:Findthemacrothemeandthehyperthemesinthetextbelowandanalysethelinguistic
featuresusedthatenablethemtoeffectivelystructurethetext.

Lack of lowland National Parks in England and Wales is regarded as a "striking weakness".
Discuss the problems associated with this situation and suggest a solution.

(1) England and Wales possess some of the finest national parks in Europe. In terms of percentage of
overall area protected, of natural beauty, and as models of organization, they have a great deal to offer
the visitor. However, controversy over the distribution of these natural spaces has recently grown. Some
in Britain have commented that, though numerous, these areas are not well-distributed (see, for
example, Fisher [1999] and Smith [2000]). Marcus and Nabulsi (1999) have singled out the complete
absence of any national park in lowland areas for specific criticism. This essay will examine the
environmental/economic effects that have resulted from this. It will then evaluate some of the responses
that have been put forward, and suggest that the argument in favour of lowland parks is a persuasive
one.

(2) The first national park, the Peak District, was instituted at the end of the Second World War to
protect the highland area between Manchester and Sheffield. Over the following thirty years, another
nine parks were added, but all cover highland areas (such as the Lake District), remote areas (such as
the Pembrokeshire coast in Wales). The fact that English and Welsh national parks are found in
hilly/inaccessible areas in the North and West of the country can be explained in part by the natural
beauty of these areas, but also by their infertility and remoteness. Though parts of the lowland in the
South and East are also of exceptional beauty, their value, whether as prime agricultural land or for
building houses, has prevented their inclusion within the national park organisation.

(3) This situation is now becoming a problem and the last fifteen years in particular have seen great
pressure on lowland countryside, for several reasons. Firstly, access to the existing parks from the main
urban centres is generally difficult; with the exception of the Peak District, most require car journeys of
two or three hours (Millmore, 1998). Secondly, the economy (and hence indirectly the population) of S.E.
England has expanded rapidly in this period, bringing in its wake increasing demands upon the
surrounding rural area both for housing and recreational purposes (Slade, 1996). Finally, as Wink (1997)
points out, there have been distinct lifestyle changes in recent years. Improved road communications, the
birth of teleworking, and increased general wealth mean that many choose to work in the city but live in
the countryside, or even to relocate completely to the countryside. Alongside relocation, lifestyle changes
have also brought increases in recreation time; the number of visitors using the countryside for walking,
cycling or (perhaps the greatest threat) merely for a day trip in the car, has grown considerably.

ES1103AY2016_2017Week5_tutorial1_WritingCohesiveTexts_LM

(4) Though almost all recognise that a problem exists, agreement on the best response has not been
easy to reach. Three main schools of thought can perhaps be identified: that of local government, that
favoured by some economists, and the course of action preferred by environmentalists.

(5) Responsibility for areas of natural beauty (other than those within park boundaries) is currently held
at local government level. These local administrative bodies are generally happy with the existing
situation, which they argue is the best way to balance the need to protect the countryside with the
importance of ensuring employment and affordable housing for local inhabitants. Adopting this viewpoint,
Marchmont (1999:45) argues that the current situation has evolved over time, and clearly balances a
variety of needs. Any change is likely to be to upset this equilibrium, and should therefore be regarded
with considerable skepticism.

(6) Certain economists, however, maintain that this situation presents an overly-fragmented and
excessively restrictive response, one unlikely to sustain recent economic growth in Britain. Thomson
(1999), and Linegan (2000), for example, argue that attempts by local government to protect the
countryside have had the effect of slowing prosperity. As the South and East of the country are
considered to be the engine of growth, these economists argue that issues of conservation (regarding,
for example, agricultural practices or planning permission) should not be allowed to outweigh decisions,
whether agricultural, industrial or commercial, likely to lead to increased wealth. They cite the computer-
based industries of the M4 corridor, leading westward from London, as an example of what might be
achieved on a wider scale, if planning restrictions are relaxed.

(7) A final viewpoint is represented by the environmentalists. They argue that park status will not only
protect the countryside, but also guarantee local employment. Firstly, there will be few new restrictions
regarding agricultural practices. Secondly, the service industries required to cater for visitors will become
a growth sector, providing a net increase in jobs. Indeed, Wilkins and Nabulsi (1999: 55) note the overall
gains in employment in the regions of the Stelvio and PreAlpi Carniche, Italy, since the foundation of
national parks there, despite similar local worries.

(8) Although these three schools of thought have been greatly simplified, the complexity of the issue is
clear. Nonetheless, it seems to me that the approaches favoured by both local government and some
economists present certain unacceptable drawbacks. The tendency at local government level to favour
short-term employment over environmental considerations is one problem, but a more serious one is that
of administrative fragmentation; an area of outstanding natural beauty may be divided between many
councils, each with conflicting priorities on, for example, road-building or conservation. The response of
the economists appears even less acceptable, as a course of action decided on purely financial grounds
would ultimately result in large-scale loss of the countryside to roads and houses. For these reasons, the
lack of lowland parks in England and Wales is a striking weakness. A national park allows the co-
ordination of policy over a wide area, which is likely to benefit both conservation and employment; the
government should act quickly in order to safeguard an irreplaceable resource for future generations.

References:

Fisher, P.W. (1999). The way forward: the future for Britains parks. London, London University Press
Linegan, J. P. (2000). The engine of growth the case for lifting planning restriction in Londons green
belt. Planning and Leisure 14/3, Oxford, Hall

ES1103AY2016_2017Week5_tutorial1_WritingCohesiveTexts_LM
Marchmont, E. (1999). Responses to increased pressure on the Lake District National Park. Unpublished
M.Phil thesis. (Centre for Higher Education), University of Maryport.
Marcus, S. and Nabulsi, D. (1999). Leisure capitalisation: a theoretical outline. Economic Review 56/2.
University of Hexham
Millmore, V. (1998). Park access. Bristol, Clint free press.
Slade, T. (1996). Housing in the UK. London, Carnaby Press.
Smith, J. (2000). The need for co-ordinated leisure. Park Policy 13/2:104-120
Thomson, M. (1999). Economic growth. Manchester, Mainline publishing.
Wilkins, A. and Nabulsi, D. (2012). National parks in Italy. Milan, Einozz.i
Wink, F. (1997). Has increased wealth brought a higher quality of life? Market Bulletin 21/3:43-53

(950words)

Adaptedfrom:http://library.bcu.ac.uk/learner/writingguides/1.16.htm

Task2:Applyingthesestrategiestoyourwriting

Lastweekyouanalysedthepromptandstartedbrainstormingideasandthinkingaboutaworking
thesis.Youmayalsohavestartedtoorganizeyourarguments/ideasintosections.Lookattheideasand
sourcesyouhavegatheredforyourproblem/solutionessayandworkonanoutline.Writeadraftforthe
following:

Thesis statement/macro-theme:

Hyper-Theme:

Hyper-Theme:

Hyper-Theme:

Hyper-Theme:

Conclusion/Macro new:

B. Cohesionattheparagraphlevel

Cohesionattheparagraphlevelmeansthatyourargumentflowswellfromonesentencetothenext.
Therearenogapsleavingthereaderconfusedastowhatyouaretryingtoconvey.

Themechoiceandthematicprogression:thisensuresthattheideasandconceptsarepicked
upinsubsequentpartsofthetextsandthatthestartofeachsentenceisreferringtoor
connectedtosomethingpriorinthetext.

ES1103AY2016_2017Week5_tutorial1_WritingCohesiveTexts_LM
Lexicalcohesion:creatinglexicalchainstorefertothesameconceptthroughoutthetext
Conjunctions/linkers:thisensuresthatthelogicalrelationsbetweenideas(cause,
comparison,effect...)areclearlyshowntothereader.
Referencingwords:Conceptscanbepickedupagainwithoutrepeatingthesameword(this
isalsopartofthelexicalchains)
Generalnouns:Seedescriptionabove.Theseareverycommoninhyperthemesbutalsoin
paragraphdevelopment.

Task 2: Read through the thematic progression pages on the Sydney Write Site to find out more about
the three main thematic progression patterns
(http://writesite.elearn.usyd.edu.au/m3/m3u5/m3u5s3/m3u5s3_1.htm)

Pattern 1 Pattern 2 Pattern 3

Theme A New
Theme A New (B) Theme A New (B, C, D)
Theme A New Theme B New C Theme B New
Theme A New Theme C New D Theme C New

Theme A New Theme New E Theme D New

D

Thematic progression: Highlight the themes in this paragraph. What pattern is used?

The first national park, the Peak District, was instituted at the end of the Second World War to protect
the highland area between Manchester and Sheffield. Over the following thirty years, another nine parks
were added, but all cover highland areas (such as the Lake District), and remote areas (such as the
Pembrokeshire coast in Wales). The fact that English and Welsh national parks are found in
hilly/inaccessible areas in the North and West of the country can be explained in part by the natural
beauty of these areas, but also by their infertility and remoteness. Though parts of the lowland in the
South and East are also of exceptional beauty, their value, whether as prime agricultural land or for
building houses, has prevented their inclusion within the national park organisation.
http://writesite.elearn.usyd.edu.au/m3/m3u5/m3u5s3/m3u5s3_1.htm

ES1103AY2016_2017Week5_tutorial1_WritingCohesiveTexts_LM
Task3:GuidedAnalysis

Inparagraph1ofthetext,findthefollowing:

Onelexicalchain
Tworeferencingpronouns(whatdotheyreferto?)
Twogeneralnouns

Task4:IndependentTextanalysis

Ingroups,youwillbeassignedONEparagraphfromthetextabove.

Completetheanalysisofyourparagraphforthefollowingcohesivefeatures.Thefocusisnoton
rightorwrong,butonlookingatandmakinghypothesisaboutthechoicesmadebythewriter
toconveymeaning.

Presentyourfindingstotherestoftheclass

Tocreatetexts Textual cohesion Write examples here

thatflow Macrotheme (Thesis statement)
logicallyand Hyper-themes (Topic Sentences)
thatareeasy
forareaderto General nouns problems, causes effect, impact,
follow reasons, issue
(coherenceand Nominalisation
cohesion) Referencing pronouns and other words)
shopping centres they such places
Conjunction/linkers however, as a result,
Beyond
Thematic progression (information flow)
A-B. B-C A- B. A-C A-B.B1-C.B2-D

Cohesion at paragraph level :

Lexical chains Hong kong the SAR The
territory the city
Reference and Substitutions shopping
centres they such places
Lexical field/sets (related words): computer
components, printers, CPUs, memory chips,
high tech equipment.

ES1103AY2016_2017Week5_tutorial1_WritingCohesiveTexts_LM

II. ReflectiveWriting

Whenyouhavewrittenyourfirstdraft,comebacktothisreflectivewritingactivityandanswer
thesequestionsaretheendofyourdraft:

a. Doyouthinkyourreadercanclearlyunderstandtheprogressionofyourtext(fromdescription
oftheproblem,tosolutionandevaluation)?Why,orwhynot?

b. Isyourintroductionclear?Doesitstatewhatthemainpurposeofthetextis(thesis)andhow
thetopicisgoingtobedeveloped?Ifnot,canyousuggestarevision?


c. Haveyouusedclearhyperthemes?Whatlinguisticfeaturesdidyouinclude?Ifnot,canyou
suggestarevision?

d. Attheparagraphlevel,haveyoupaidattentiontotheflowbetweensentences(beyondtheuse
ofconjunctions)?Istheinformationflowwellorganized(nogapsbetweensentencesandaclear
thematicprogressionthroughtheparagraphs)?

Preparationfornexttutorial:

1. Carryongatheringsources,andworkingonyouressayoutline.
2. ReadthenotesonWritinganintroduction.

Surveythewebpagesinthefollowingwebsiteandanswerthequestionsthatfollow.
http://writesite.elearn.usyd.edu.au/m3/m3u3/index.htm
1. Whatisthepurposeofanintroduction?Whatshouldthereaderbeclearaboutby
theendoftheintroduction?
2. Whataretheelementsexpectedinanintroduction?

CarryonrevisingyourSynthesisTask.

AdditionalTask:

YoumaycompletetheadditionalactivitiesonTextCohesionwhichareprovidedintheIVLEworkbin.
LookforthehandoutBuildingTextCohesionAdditionalTasks.