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My Ability to Care and Respect

Personal Statement Final
Madison Vernaci
Louisiana State University

Author Note
This paper is for English 2001, taught by Professor Coco. The audience is the LSUHSC
Admissions Committee.
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Preface
I give myself a 2 for focus because I have good examples and images, but I do not stay
focused in stating why the examples would make me a good nurse, which should be the focus of
the essay. I give myself a 1 for organization because this draft is not complete and there is no
transition between paragraphs and no conclusion. I give myself a 2 for development because my
examples are stated, but I did not develop them yet since this was my first draft written in the
daybook. I give myself a 3 for audience because the voice, tone, and style is appropriate for the
admissions committee.
One concern I have is that I will elaborate on my examples too much and veer off topic.
Another concern that I have is tying together the core values of respect and care in order to make
the essay flow. Although I understand my story on respect, I am concerned that others will not be
able to relate respecting roommates to the nursing career.
I chose to submit my personal statement from the daybook, but it was incomplete, so I
added in points from my second personal statement. This was my strongest personal statement
because the prompt asked for two core values, so I could elaborate more. It was also my
strongest because it was the third one that I wrote, so I had a better understanding for writing
personal statements.
After the peer review on my first two personal statements, I realized that my first was not
strong at all and that my second had potential. My friend peer reviewed my daybook entry and
took a look at my second personal statement about caring. She commented on how my focus and
development needed work, and advised me to add in paragraphs from personal statement two. I
strengthened my focus by taking out unnecessary sentences, relating the examples to why they
made me want to be a nurse and why I think they will make me succeed in being a nurse, and
adding in more important experiences. I strengthened my development by improving my
paragraph on respect and then for the caring core value, I combined some points from paragraphs
2 and 3 from my second personal statement and added it to personal statement three. I then
combined sentences from the introductions and conclusions from personal statements two and
three to make a new introduction and conclusion for my final draft, which strengthened my
organization.
I question adding in so much from my second personal statement because it took a lot of
time. I worry that I will not have enough time to write a strong enough essay for the actual
submission. I also worry that I elaborate too much on my examples, which should be more
concise. I question if my essay is repetitive.
Listening to my voice recording helped me hear grammar mistakes, award words and
wording of sentences, and repetitive words. As I listened to it, I stopped and fixed any of these
things that sounded weird; however, I did not change any organization because I feel confident in
that. The first sentence of paragraph 5 sounds awkward.
I am concerned with my focus in general; not anywhere specifically. I think that I need
work with staying to the point in all of my paragraphs. For development I am concerned that in
my conclusion paragraph, I become repetitive and wordy when I talk about how I want to make
an impact on others lives, and I do not know how to end the paragraph. For audience awareness
I am not sure if the admissions committee will understand where I am coming from when talking
about my story on respect in paragraph 4. I am also concerned about my title.
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The comments I was given were very helpful in improving the development and structure
of my final paper. It was helpful knowing what you thought was strong so I knew what you
wanted in the final. The voice recording was helpful because I knew which spots needed
improvement. My paper is stronger now because of your advice on writing a new paragraph on
watching my mom and grandmother care for them and elaborating on getting them into the car. I
am confused about when you said that I should focus on an experience in my conclusion. I did
not how to fix my conclusion because I felt that I tied the core values together.

My Ability to Care and Respect

Being a caring and respectful person are core values that I exemplify, which will help me

succeed in being a great nurse. I have always been known as a nice and caring person. Not only

do I care about others health and happiness, but I have a desire to help them. Caring for others

has become an instinct to me because I grew up taking care of my great grandparents. Also, over

this past year I have learned how to respect the people around me by living with two roommates.

Because I have respect and compassion for others, I have chosen to seek a career in nursing.

Growing up, my elderly great grandparents, Maw Maw and Paw Paw, were in need of

serious attention and care. Almost every day I watched my grandmother and mother take care of

them. My mother, grandmother, and I took one, big car to pick up my great grandparents and

spend the day with them, so I did not miss a glimpse of their care. First, I watched them in

amazement get Paw Paw in and out of the car, and I always thought that I would never have the

technique to do that. I quickly picked up on the fact that they are very set in their ways and have

favorite places to eat and go. Sometimes they would get stubborn and yell or would walk too

slow, and this would cause a scene in public. Watching my mom and grandmother handle these

situations taught me how to adapt to the personalities of the elderly. We would take them to their

doctors appointments, and I watched how my mom signed them in and communicated with the

doctors. My mom and grandmother had to help them make a lot of medical decisions, so I

learned how to be responsible and advise them on this over the years. I noticed how much of a
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hassle and how much patience caring for them took, but I felt that I would be ready for the task

in the future. Watching them at such a young age gave me the instinct of how to physically take

care of others.

As I grew older, I ended up taking care of them on a daily basis. I would take them to

lunch, the bank, grocery store, and anywhere else they needed to go to run their errands. This

was not any easy task because it took a lot of patience and energy getting them in and out of the

car. Being that Paw Paw was double my weight, getting him in and out of the car was not an easy

task. It required a technique, which I developed over time. We had our own system of doing

things. I would use my hip to launch his body into the car as he guided himself inside by holding

onto the handle. We would laugh hysterically at how silly we must have looked in doing this. I

became very accustomed to working his equipment. He used a walker and a motorized chair to

get around. I cannot count how many tennis balls I changed to pad the bottom of those walkers.

I also had to put bandages on their fragile, tearing skin and administer medicine to them. This

became difficult because it was hard to see them struggle and age, but I never gave up on them.

One day they told me how much they appreciate the care that I provide and that I would make an

excellent nurse. This encouraged me to be a nurse because I realized that not everyone has this

quality that I possess and love.

As time passed, my great grandparents had reached a level of care for which my family

and I could no longer handle. At this point they went to an assisted living facility on the memory

care floor. They were sad about losing their independence, and they were upset and embarrassed

about needing full time care. I wished that I had the training and skills of a real nurse to do the

job myself. The onset of dementia and Alhziemers disease was difficult to watch, and before I

knew it Maw Maw no longer remembered me. She had slipped into her own world of silence.
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Shortly, thereafter, my great grandfather passed away. With Paw Paw gone and Maw Maw totally

silent, people always asked me why I continue to visit and care for her. My answer is always that

I started this job and now I have to finish this job. Because of the Alhziemers, I feel that Maw

Maw needs my help more than ever. There is not much that I can do to heal her illness, but I

have to mentally care for her because she is so confused and frustrated. Sitting with her, feeding

her, and telling her stories about her past goes a long way and puts a smile on her face, even

though she quickly forgets the stories. I play all of her favorite classic songs, and I sing along

with her, which reminds her of things that she loves. Because she is unable to reciprocate her

appreciation and feelings, it is a mystery to me whether or not she is aware of my care. This has

given me some background in dealing with patients who will need support and company rather

than physical attention. I asked others, What kind of care giver or future nurse would I be if I

stop caring for her? This experience made me realize that I also possess the quality of

dedication, which gives me the desire to care for others in the most crucial time in a persons life.

My caring instincts did not come as easy as my recent ability to respect.

The fall of 2016 was rough for me because I was adjusting to my first year at LSU, and I

lived in a dorm with two of my best friends from high school. None of us were used to sharing

one tiny room with two other people, which caused a lot of problems. We got in many arguments

for silly things and never resolved the problems, so they built up into a huge argument. After first

semester, we addressed the issue verbally in a mature manner. In order to fix the situation we

realized that having respect would solve the situation.We sat down and talked about everything

that was bothering us and this made us realize that the things we were arguing about were things

we could prevent by simply respecting each other and each others needs, wants, and decisions.

We made a schedule for whoes turn it was to clean the room and for quiet times. This tight living
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situation has made me extremely aware of how important it is to have respect and listen to

others decisions and needs. It is beneficial to be a respectful nurse because I believe that nurses

are the care givers for their patients, and should act as a source of guidance or friend throughout

their patients illness. In order to be this type of nurse, he or she must have genuine respect for

their patients. I know that I will listen to my patient, respect their decisions, and give them the

best advice I can give. Because I will be working with a team, I will respect my colleagues

decisions on any medical case by taking into consideration their intentions. Although I struggled

with my living situation, it ended up being a beneficial learning experience for myself and future

career.

In addition to my innate instinct to care from being exposed to my familys love and care

for my great grandparents at such a young age, my recent living situation has taught me how to

genuinely respect others. I am pursuing a career in the field of nursing because I want to make a

difference in the world by impacting the lives of others in a positive way. My rewarding

experience with my grandparents was what initially drove me to pursue a career in the nursing

field. Living with two roommates in a small room is a constant reminder of how important it is to

respect my peers. This experience has also opened my eyes to my ability to respect and work out

any issues in a mature manner, which will be beneficial in working with a team in the hospital.

Caring and respecting others are two rewarding qualities that I possess, which I will use to make

huge impacts on my patients and colleagues in my career as a nurse.