2016 COD Part 1 Slides - 7 Lectures

Children of Divorce
CAMHS-UA.162.1.001
Who should you
marry?
When I grow up Im going to marry

James, hes my best friend
Whats Love Got to Do
with It?
The interview with James, the day before

his marriage...
Marriage and Divorce
America has the highest rate of

marriage among Western nations
(those that share common social and
cultural history and values)
America has the highest divorce rate in
the world
Divorce Goes With
Marriage
Arkansas typifies the American pattern

2nd highest divorce rate
3rd highest marriage rate
Do We Like Divorce?
Marriage and Divorce are a unique aspect of American
culture
Covenant Marriages
Louisiana 1997 & Arkansas 2001
Makes it harder to get divorced
Premarital counseling
Marital counseling prior to any divorce
No no fault
2 year waiting period
Who wouldnt get married this way, given the
option?
Do We Like Divorce?
YES.
At least for ourselves.
In Arkansas, in the year after Covenant
Marriages became available, only 600
marriages were done this way, out of
100,000
Divorce is losing
popularity for some
people, but so is
marriage
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Marriage rates have been falling for Marriage and divorce rates
several decades and are now at Per 1,000 people
historic lows. 15
NEW
MARRIAGES
10
World
World War II Vietnam
War I Great Baby War
Depression Boom 5
NEW
DIVORCES
1880 1900 1920 1940 1960 1980 2000 10
Divorce rates have also fallen, Divorce rate

but remain relatively high after Per 1,000
Divorce Facts (2004)
Currently, the divorce rate is the lowest it
has been since the 1970s
The rate has dropped 30% since 1981,
when it peaked
For every two marriages, there is one
divorce (a 2:1 ratio)
1880 1900 1920 1940 1960 1980 2000 10

a sharp increase in the 1960s married couples
World Vietnam
and 70s. War II War
20
Great
Depression Baby
Boom 15
World
War I 10
1880 1900 1920 1940 1960 1980 2000 10

Sources: National Bureau of Economic Research; Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Children of Divorce
About 1/2 of all divorcing couples have

children
Nearly half of all children born to married
couples will experience parental divorce
About 1,000,000 children PER YEAR
What do children think
about divorce?
We should begin by asking what we
think about marriage
We transmit our ideas about marriage
to our children in subtle and overt ways
Even before children have any practical
understanding of marriage, they already
play with the symbolic aspects of it
The story of Divorce is really also a story

about Marriage
Concern in your parents generation

about the epidemic of divorce was a
harbinger for deeper confusion about
profound changes in American family life
.

historic lows. 15
NEW
MARRIAGES
10
World
Depression Boom 5
NEW
DIVORCES
1880 1900 1920 1940 1960 1980 2000 10

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Confusing Times
Vignette One
We agreed to see other people, but not
to love other people
Confusing Times
Vignette Two
I use Tinder for Hook-ups, and
eHarmony to date
Confusing Times
Vignette Three
I wish someone had told me to get
married when I was 27
Is Marriage Important?
Mildred Jeter & Richard Loving, married in
June 1958 in Washington DC and then
returned to Virginia
October 1958 they were indicted for
violating Virginia's ban on interracial marriages.
On January 6, 1959, the Lovings pleaded guilty
to the charge and were sentenced to one
year in jail
Loving v.Virginia (1967)
The trial judge suspended the sentence for a
period of 25 years if the left the State. His
opinion:
"Almighty God created the races white, black,
yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on
separate continents. And but for the interference
with his arrangement there would be no cause for
such marriages. The fact that he separated the
races shows that he did not intend for the races
to mix."
Marriage
Marriage remains one of the fundamental

ways we view ourselves and organize our
experiences in society
Marriage remains one of the most
important border crossings between our
public and private lives
Course Overview
Part One: Three concepts of marriage
The tension between the institutional
aspect of marriage and the individualist
aspect of marriage
How can marriage do two jobs at the same
time - be an expression of individual love
and also do all the social work required
of it?
Course Overview
When you learn how much marriage is

about money (and other material
concerns), is there room left for it to be
about love?
The Princetonian letter. Is Tinder better?
Course Overview
Part 2
Sex, Love, and Communication
A kind of step by step account of sex, love,
and how relationships work
A narrative of how one might go from
dating, to marriage, to divorce
Course Overview
Part 3 - Divorce, its impact on children

A detailed description of child
development, how divorce impacts child
development, and risk and resilience factors
TAs
Sydney Shope
Tazin Babu
Molly Brog
nyucod.youcanbook.me
email
PLEASE put COD Fall 2016 in the subject

line
Grading
Exam 1 Exam 2 Exam 3 Term Final
Paper grade
Average 82 88 83 87 85
Grading
COD"Fall"2013"Final"Grade"Distribu?on"
18" 17"
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12" 11"
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2" 1" 1" 1" 1" 1" 1" 1"
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Grade"
Evaluations
Reflect:
Coming to all the classes AND paying
attention
Doing most of the reading
Digesting it into a meaningful story
Evaluations
3 Multiple Choice Exams - each = 1/6

of your grade
1 Term Paper - worth 1/3 9(i.e. 2/6) of
your final grade
1 Medium paper - worth 1/6
Details: Books
Coontz, S. Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered
Marriage. (Penguin, New York) 2005.
Cherlin A. The Marriage Go Round: The State of Marriage and

the Family in America Today. (Knopf, New York) 2009.
Clarke-Stewart A. and Brentano C. Divorce: Causes and

Consequences. (Yale University Press, New Haven) 2006.
Hetherington EM. For Better or For Worse: Divorce

Reconsidered. (W.W. Norton & Co., New York) 2002.
Ruhl, S. In the Next Room. (Theatre Communications

Group, New York) 2011.
The Date Paper
Identify one person (NOT YOU) who is
currently looking for a girlfriend/boyfriend/
friend-with-benefits/hook-up-buddy/
etc.etc.etc
Ask this person if you can ask them
questions about their efforts to find a
girlfriend/boyfriend/friend-with-benefits/
hook-up-buddy/etc.etc.etc
The Date Paper
Ideally, you could interview them after they have gone out on a
date, or had a date/hook-up recently.
In the interview, consider asking the following questions:
How did you meet this person? Did it feel "natural" or

"artificial"? What would be examples of "natural" ways of
meeting, vs. "artificial" ways of meeting?
What are your expectations on a date? Are you looking for

love? For pleasure? For a potential spouse?
How do people communicate their expectations to each

other? directly? Indirectly?
The Date Paper
Other questions:
Do you thinking meeting people (romantically) is easier or

harder for your generation than it was 10 years ago? 20
years ago?
Does technology help or hurt the process of meeting

someone? Did technology help or hurt you on your last
date?
How did you learn to "date"- or are you just making it up

as you go along?
The Term Paper
Handing in papers
The file name MUST contain your full name, and the
name of the assignment.
tonycharuvastra-termpaper or
tonycharuvastra-datepaper
Files must be submitted in PDF format.
All papers MUST be handed in via NYU Classes. If you

are having trouble with it, you can also email a copy to
me and the TAs.
Late Papers
2 points per day late

If you totally blow it, but hand in a good
paper on the last day of class, you will get a
C-
Papers a week late cant do better than a B
Missed Exams
Make up exams are harder

Make every effort to take the exams as
scheduled
House Rules
Make an effort to come to class

Dont be a jerk
If you are struggling, ask for help
Important Dates
Tuesday 10/4: Exam 1 - IN CLASS
Monday 10/17: Date Paper is DUE via NYU Classes, by 10 am
Tuesday 11/1/16: Exam 2- IN CLASS
Monday 11/21: Term paper due, by 9 pm
Tuesday 12/13: Exam 3 - IN CLASS - this will also be the LAST

class.
Important Dates
Three Presidential Debates!

9/26/16
10/9/16
10/19/16
All at 9pm
Next Class
Letter by Susan Patton, to Daily Princetonian
Coontz, pp., 1-49,
Parker-Pope, Tara. The Happy Marriage is the Me

Marriage NYT - Dec 31, 2010
Sales, Nancy Jo. Tinder and the Dawn of the Dating

Apocalypse,Vanity Fair, September 2015
Ramzy, A. & Rogers, K. Tinder doesnt contribute to

hookup culture (says Tinder). NYT, 8/13/2015.
My Goals
For each of you to leave this class with
A better understanding of your family, in
particular your mother and father and their
marriage
A vocabulary and an outlook that will help you
navigate your own love relationships and help
you decide how and when you will enter into
marriage, if you decide to do so, and how when
you will start a family, if you decide to do so
Children of Divorce
Institutional Marriage vs. Individualism
TA Rules
REMEMBER YOUR
APPOINTMENT
WRITE DOWN YOUR APPOINTMENT IN YOUR CALENDAR
AND MAKE A REMINDER.
If you need to cancel, EVEN AT THE LAST MINUTE, please email

Anya or Sydney. I am very tolerant for all kinds of things, but not
showing up for appointments is one of the few things that deeply
annoys me.
Avoid last minute
cancellations
BRING AT LEAST
ONE QUESTION
WITH YOU
It's your time, so to make the most of it, try to think about what
you want help with. Even bringing in the first sentence of a
paragraph is a good place to start.
Different Kinds of
Marriage
Ideas about marriage have evolved in lock-
step with the evolution of society and our
ideas about people
Three ways of understanding marriage
INSTITUTIONAL marriage
COMPANIONATE marriage
EXPRESSIVE/INDIVIDUALIST marriage
The Me Marriage?
The Me Marriage
...in modern relationships, people are
looking for a partnership, and they want
partners who make their lives more
interesting.
Self-Expansion: how individuals use a
relationship to accumulate knowledge and
experiences.
The more self-expansion people
experience from their partner, the more
committed and satisfied they are in the
relationship.
The Me Marriage
If youre seeking self-growth and
obtain it from your partner, then that
puts your partner in a pretty
important position, he explains. And
being able to help your partners self-
expansion would be pretty pleasing to
yourself.
The Me Marriage -
Good or Bad?
What might be weaknesses in this approach?

What is missing?
How is this better than your parents
marriage?
How is it worse?
Problems with the Me
Marriage
Self expansion may explain what happens
early in love, but is it adequate to describe
successful marriages over time?
Do we need better theories of Love that
can describe relationships over longer
periods of time?
The Institution?
Advice for the young women of Princeton:

For most of you, the cornerstone of your
future and happiness will be inextricably linked
to the man you marry, and you will never
again have this concentration of men who are
worthy of you! !
Heres what nobody is telling you: Find a
husband on campus before you graduate.
Or Companionship?
Smart women cant (shouldnt) marry men
who arent at least their intellectual equal.
As Princeton women, we have almost
priced ourselves out of the market. Simply
put, there is a very limited population of
men who are as smart or smarter than we
are. And I say again you will never again
be surrounded by this concentration of
men who are worthy of you!
gy fuses short attention spans with too many options.
Companionship?
ts official Twitter account, Tinder took issue with the reports sugges
ating app was fueling a culture of casual sex.
Tinder Follow
@Tinder
The ability to meet people outside of your closed

circle in this world is an immensely powerful thing.
7:43 PM - 11 Aug 2015
185 236
or Individualism gone
too far?
Dating apps are the free-market economy come
to sex.
Its instant gratification, and a validation of your

own attractiveness by just, like, swiping your
thumb on an app.You see some pretty girl and
you swipe and its, like, oh, she thinks youre
attractive too, so its really addicting, and you
just find yourself mindlessly doing it.
Sex has become so easy, says John, 26.I can

go on my phone right now and no doubt I can
find someone I can have sex with this evening,
probably before midnight.
Princeton vs.Vanity Fair
Which vision of modern romance do you

find more appalling?
Or more enticing?
What Was (Is) the
Institutional Marriage
Marriage should serve a function for others
besides the husband and wife
Economic production
Childrearing
Moral stability (containing sexuality)
Organizing social hierarchies
Marriage, A History
For most of human history, the purpose of
marriage has NOT been to make you happy
For most of human history, the purpose of
living was NOT to be happy
The Modern era (beginning with the
enlightenment) begins to link these two
ideas
What is Marital Love?
The idea that romantic love or lust should

be found within marriage was considered
foolish at best and destructive at worst
Love was the outcome of marriage, not

the cause
Marital Love?
He who marries for love has good nights

and bad days
Marital Love?
Nothing is more impure than to love ones

wife as if she were a mistress
He who marries for love has good nights
and bad days
The Individual vs. The
Institution
Would a focus on romantic love ultimately

undercut institutional commitments to
ideas like gender roles, purity, and
emphasizes individual happiness
The Invention of
Marriage
A dizzying range of marital arrangements
(pgs. 24-49)
The effect of marriage on peoples
individual lives has always depended on its
functions in economic and social life,
functions that have changed immensely
over time
The Institution of
Marriage
Colonial Marriage
Marriage based family life defined the origins
of American society
Very few governmental activities that
organized life
Family based life was necessary for material
safety and stability
Everyone worked. There were laws
forbidding people from living alone
Colonial Marriage
Being part of a family unit was essential for the
functioning of society at this time.
Reflects both the material and ideological reality of
the time
You needed family help to get food, clothing and
shelter
Husband headed family was foundation of a virtuous
community
Family led prayer was essential part of life
Colonial Life
Marriage was part of the foundation of civil

society, but...
Protestant religion was fundamentally
individualistic - about ones personal,
individual relationship with God.
Marriage as Patriarchy
How to reconcile individualism with the
social power of marriage? How do two free
people act as one unit in society?
Coverture - English common law
doctrine
Husband and wife become one person
That person is the Husband
Two Birds in His Nest
Coverture: Lord William Blackstone
codified English common law in 1765. Upon
marriage the very being or legal existence
of the woman is suspended.
A man cannot grant anything to his wife,
or enter into covenant with her, for the
grant would be to suppose her separate
existence.
By the 19th Century, America had become

big enough that there was more need for
governmental control
Also, there was enough social change that
the issue of defining marriage emerges as
a national need
Polygamy in the Territories
Marriage becomes regulated for the first time by
the United States Governments
1862 Federal Law, The Morrill Anti-bigamy Act,
making it illegal to have more than one wife
George Reynolds, a high ranking member in the
Church of LDS, challenges the law
1879 Reynolds v. US - Congress can regulate
marriage in the territories. The rationale is the
institutional nature of marriage
Chief Justice Waite
Marriage, while from its very nature a sacred
obligation, is nevertheless, in most civilized nations, a
civil contract, and usually regulated by law. Upon it
society may be said to be built, and out of its
fruits spring social relations and social
obligations and duties, with which government is
necessarily required to deal. In fact, according as
monogamous or polygamous marriages are allowed,
do we find the principles on which the government
of the people, to a greater or less extent, rests.
Earl Warren (Loving v.
Virginia) 1967
The freedom to marry has long been
recognized as one of the vital personal
rights essential to the orderly pursuit of
happiness by free men.
Marriage is one of the "basic civil rights of
man," fundamental to our very existence
and survival.
Government Regulates
Family Life
Reflecting the Institutional concept of
marriage, there were various efforts to
influence how family life was conducted
Anthony Comstock, a New York reformer,
worried about threats to Christian morality
within marriage
Specifically, sex for pleasure
Comstock Law
Sex for childbearing ONLY

Comstock Act 1873, bans mailing of
obscene, lewd or lascivious information
by USPS
Includes birth control
Yoke-Mates to Soul
Mates
Coontz argues that by end of the 1700s

the ideal of marrying for love appears,
though it is the exception rather than the
rule
19th century
The marital bond becomes a place of

refuge from the public world
Strictly defined gender roles - the sphere
of domesticity
Massive repression of sexuality and the cult
of female purity
Two Birds in One Nest
Marriage becomes ever more personal
(two birds within one nest). Couples often
brought friends along on the honey moon
through the 1850s
By the 1870s wedding planning books
advise couples to skip the harassing bridal
tour and enjoy a honeymoon of repose,
exempted from the claims of society
In love with Love
Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote to his fiancee
Sophia Where thou are not, there it is a
sort of death.
Albert Janin wrote to his girlfriend in 1871
I kissed your letter over and over again,
regardless of the small pox epidemic at
New York, and gave myself up to a carnival
of bliss before breaking the envelope.
Love was the new
religion
As church fathers had warned, it replaced
religiosity
Annie Fields in 1863 wrote to her husband
thou art my church and thou my book of
psalms.
There emerges among the elite a fear of
marrying without love.
But 19th Century
America was not quite
ready for Love
Marriage
The Story of Abby Sage
and Albert Richardson
Abby marries Daniel McFarland, but
becomes disillusioned (1857)
Befriends staff at the New York Tribune,
including Albert (1867)
Albert professes love for Abby in letter
intercepted by Daniel, who shoots Albert
Free Love
1868 Abby moves to Indiana to get
divorced
1869 Abby returns to NY, and Albert
publishes a notice of his intention to marry
her
A month later, Daniel shoots Albert again,
in the Tribune office.
Free Love in 19th
Century America
Albert dies, but not before...

Was Daniel McFarland
Guilty? Or Not?
Husbands & Wives
Transform from being seen as the

supervisor of a family work force, and now
become the provider for the family
The husband is economic motor, wife is
sentimental core
Sexual Repression
A new ideal of womens purity emerges in the
19th Century
A strategy to regulate middle class sexuality, in
the era of more sexual freedom
The cult of purity suggests that parental power
could be loosened without fear of sexual anarchy
A true woman would not choose sexual
independence.
Sexual Repression
Many women were brought up with the

idea that normal females should lack sexual
passion.
Wedding night was a source of anxiety or
even disgust.
Sexual Repression
1920s Katherine Davis interviewed 2,200
American women, most born before 1890.
25% had been repelled by the experience
of sex. Even women who did enjoy sex
with husbands reported feeling guilt or
shame, believing that immoderate passion
during the sex act was degrading.
Sexual Repression
Men also found it unnatural if a woman
enjoyed sex too much.
Frederick Ryman, 1880s wrote frankly and
joyfully about his sexual encounters with
prostitutes, was taken aback when any
women took the initiative during sex.
I usually prefer to have a woman lie
perfectly quiet when I am enjoying a vigil.
Sexual Repression
Marie Stopes published Married Love: A

new Contribution to the Solution of Sex
Difficulties in England in 1918.
Sexual Repression
But for your advice I should not have hazarded
preliminaries [foreplay] for fear of shocking my wife
and giving her the feeling that I was treating her as a
mistress
Another asked if fondling was too indecent to the
nicely minded woman
Another wrote that he was grateful for the
education, reflecting on his ignorance: that when his
wife had an orgasm he was frightened and thought
it was some sort of fit [seizure].
Two Birds in One Nest
How to reconcile the idea of mutual

affection with traditional order of male
control? Spheres of influence - that each
sex had its own character
Control of wives by husbands was
reaffirmed, but under guise of protection
Ideal vs. Reality
The rigid separation between male and
female spheres made it hard for couples to
share their dreams.
The doctrine of difference inhibited
emotional intimacy.
The cult of female purity made physical
intimacy even more problematic.
Ideal v. Reality
The biggest obstacle to making personal
happiness the foremost goal of marriage
was that women needed to marry in order
to survive. Single women could not support
themselves.
Alternatives were destitution, prostitution,
or dependence on relatives.
America
The US embraced the ideals of married
romance, at least in spirit.
But also became a leader in divorce rates
1880-1890 a 70% increase in divorce rate.
1891 a Cornell Professor predicted that if
trends of second half of 1800s continued,
more marriages would end by divorce than
death by 1980.
Individualism Appears
Companionate Marriage, or Free Love
marriages, begin to emerge in the 19th
century.
The decline (but not end) of the
Institutional concept
Companionate ideas have been present for
a long time, but never before considered
the guiding influence in marriage
19th Century Changes
Urbanization
Industrialization
Technology
Fragmentation of family supervision and
family labor
People are more aware of alternate
lifestyles
Social Forces
First wave of feminism reduces authority
and privilege of American husbands
New York State Married Womens Property
Act, 1848
Children become people instead of
property
Custody given to mothers, not fathers
Social Forces
By 1900, 1/5 of urban working women

were living on their own. Work moved
outside the home.
Middle class women - secretarial jobs
Lower class women - left being servants to
work in factories
Social Forces
Education: 1880 - American women made

up 1/3 of college students.
The number of women attending college
tripled from 1890 to 1910.
Many sought upward mobility.
Yet...
In practice, most judges and most laws

continue to reflect the view that women
are subsumed by their husbands legal
identity
Most women, in most places, have little
practical independence
Coontz: Themes
How changes in the economy relate to changes
in the roles accorded to men and women in
marriage
How the idea of companionship existed for
many generations before it was practiced
commonly
The idea that marriage is a private matter
rather than a public one also evolved over time
Individual vs. Institution
Coontz describes how several times in
history - in the 1790s, the 1890s and the
1920s - institutional marriage was buffeted
by the rising tide of individualism.
She argues that it was a convergence of
other social and economic forces that kept
institutional marriage more or less stable
until the late 20th century.
Entering the 20th
Century
America was the divorce capitol of the
world
There is wide spread concern about the
rise in the divorce rate, especially compared
to other countries in Western Europe
The social dislocation created by
modernization provide fertile ground for
the idea of Free Love
Recap
Two models of marriage - two different
cultural templates
Institutional Marriage - reflecting the needs
of society
Companionate Marriage - reflecting the
importance of affection more than
obligation - the first flowering of
individualism in marriage
Children of Divorce
Expressive Individualism and the Rise of the
Supermarriage
Who Wears the Pants?
Describes how the changing economy has

impacted several families in Alabama. Each
of the couples she interviews describes
their marriage in institutional terms.
The Couples:
Reuben and Patsy

Charles and Sarah
Rob and Connie
Reuben and Patsy
Patsy - the Family Services director

Reuben - Unemployed, looking
Reuben and Patsy
Reuben has a college degree and doesnt seem
especially preoccupied with machismo, so I asked him
why, given how many different kinds of jobs he has held,
he couldnt train for one of the jobs that he knew were
available: something related to schools, nursing or retail,
for example. One reason was obvious-those jobs dont
pay as much as he was accustomed to making- but he
said there was another. Were in the South, he told
me. A man needs a strong, macho job. Hes not going
to be a schoolteacher or a legal secretary or some
beauty-shop queen. Hes got to be a man.
Charles & Sarah
Charles - a former manager at the clothing

company
Sarah Beth - worked her way up in the
hospital
Charles & Sarah
Like everyone of their generation, I spoke
to, Charles and Sarah Beth Gettys both
insisted that Charles was still the head of
the household. I often asked couples why
the men got to retain the title if they
werent fulfilling most of the attending
duties. Sometimes they answered by
defining head as spiritual head, meaning
biblically ordained as the leader.
Rob & Connie
Rob - recently unemployed, in computers

Connie - a teacher
Delaying marriage because of Robs
uncertain economic circumstance
Rob & Connie
Connie told me: He is absolutely the guy who
says, I provide for my family. Im the man of
the house. Rob said then: Youre saying that as
if Im a dictator. Its not the whole sit-in-the-
kitchen-with-your-apron thing. But the way I
was brought up, its a mans responsibility to
take care of his family. Rob turned to me and
added, I dont want to make the queen
analogy, but my job is to make her the queen.
Connies Daughter
Abby is not the only one questioning the old rules. At
a Sunday Bible-study group I attended for teenage girls,
the mother who was teaching had the girls hold hands,
march in a circle and say: My husband will treat me
like the princess that I am. He will be the head of my
household. But the girls own ambitions seemed at
odds with that vision. One girl earlier confessed that
her biggest earthly temptation during her college years
was likely to be pursuing too many higher degrees.
Another was known to her friends in the group as the
future president. I got the sense that relying on a
man was not what they considered their best option.
The Dawn of the 20th
Century
Major changes
Separation of spheres of influence (i.e. of
male and female roles) weakens
Women are increasingly interested in
self-definition
Marriage becomes sexualized
Companionate
Marriage
First half of 20th century
Emotional bond is central - companionship,
friendship, romance and sex
Sex changes from procreation to pleasure
(Marriage becomes sexualized)
Sex is everywhere
Freud and the emerging influence of

psychoanalysis bring sex into the
foreground of how people think of
themselves
The study of sex becomes more
mainstream
Sex is everywhere
The sexualization of life which we take for

granted is beginning with the emergence of
Mass Media (movies)
Youth culture (consumer culture)
Sex is everywhere
Close to 50% of women who came of age
in the 1920s had sex before marriage -
double the rate in the late 1800s.
But the divorce rate also doubles
Even President Roosevelt expresses shock
that the lack of love was an excuse for
breaking up a home
Sex is everywhere
The success or failure of marriage was seen

as determined by sex life.
For 10 cents, women could order a
discreetly wrapped book How I Kept My
Husband
Instruction in oral sex
Old Wine in New
Bottles
Sex appeal replaces submission as a womans
responsibility to her husband
An idea widely found in popular movies and
literature
In some ways women are more dependent on
their husbands
Increasing focus on the marital relationship
leads to weakening of other sources of support
Old Wine in New
Bottles
The cult of purity fades
But women are expected to control and
limit male sexual advances
If a man goes too far, it is the womans
fault.
The beginning of the
nuclear family
There is a rejection of close same-sex
friendships (reflecting the increasing
scrutiny of sexual feelings)
And a rejection of close extended family
ties - parents and siblings are finally
banished from the marital home
The ideal of marital privacy emerges
Sexual anxieties
Unapproved sexual behavior becomes

more codified
Delinquency statutes for minors
Laws against inter-racial marriage
By 1913, 42 states had such laws
Sex in the early 20th
Century
Presumed to take place only within
marriage
Birth control radicals define their mission
within the context of marriage
Sex manuals explicitly argue that better sex
in marriage will promote stronger unions
Companionate
Marriage
Ideal marriage, Its Physiology and Technique,

by Theodoor Hendrik Velde.
Four cornerstones of the temple of love
and happiness in marriage
Partner choice, psychological attitude,
agreement on number of children, and...
The Secret to a Good
Marriage (in 1930)
Avigorous and harmonious sex life

Within the companionate ideal, marriage
becomes sexualized
Ideal Marriage: Its Physiology and
Technique
Thus diversity becomes possible in the act
of coitus; and as the Ancient World has
testified in many quoted aphorisms, no
pleasure is possible in sustained and repeated
use unless adequate variety and shades of
difference are introduced into it; so the
subject of our present study has
considerable importance for the weal or
woe of married life...(pg. 150)
The Institutional vs.
Companionate Marriage
Husband still head of family, wifes identity/
individuality subsumed
A logical tension between ideal of harmonious
joining, and ideal of husband headed unity
The Husband as Breadwinner reflects a certain view
of how society should be (men in charge)
Institutional Marriage embeds patriarchal values in
marriage
Breadwinner Ideal
1932 (during depression) Congress passes U.S.
Economy Act preventing two people from same
family working for Federal Government
Targets wives
1935 Social Security Act
Benefits only to retired men and women whose
husbands have died
1944 GI Bill - benefits to women only if they marry
veterans
1948 Tax code - Marriage deductions for single
earner families
Stability vs. Change
By the Mid 20th Century, the companionate

ideal is widely accepted and seen to co-
exist with institutional ideas
Mid 20th Century
This is often referred to as the traditional
family
Yet what is the tradition?
Coontz argues that flux and transition is
actually the tradition. That family life is
constantly evolving to reflect other social
changes
The Golden Age of
Marriage
By 1950, women are marrying at a younger
age than any time in the 20th century.
The duration of marriage had doubled from
a century before, from around 20-25 years
to 40-45 years.
Marriage was an institution that moved you
through lifes stages.
Companionate Marriage
Becomes Linked to The Norm
of Lifelong Marriage
95% of adults who turned 18 in the 1950s
would marry
A girl who hasnt a man in sight by the
time she is 20 is not altogether wrong in
fearing that she may never get
married [Sidonie Gruenberg - American
psychiatrist, 1953, NYT Magazine]
The Golden Age
People no longer postponed marriage until
they could establish their economic
independence, as they had up until the late
19th century
Marriage was a stepping off point for
adulthood rather than a sign that it was
established
The Golden Age
Emergence of the belief that marriage was

normative
That being unmarried was a sign of
character weakness
Further entrenchment of male breadwinner
ideal
Consumer culture
Economic expansion brings discretionary
income for home appliances, domestic
luxuries, and leisure activities
The middle class doubles from 30% to 60%
of the country between 1920s and 1950s.
The ideal of the private marriage and
nuclear family is now attainable by the
masses.
Mid-20th Century Marriage
The creation of the house-wife role
Increased emphasis on personal and emotional
satisfaction in family life
Expansion of leisure activities to the middle
and working class
Togetherness between husband and wife
Community activities increasingly emphasize
family activities
Seeds of Conflict
One stream in culture emphasizes marriage
as a corner stone of civil society
The law subsumes womans identity within
the the husband and the family. Family law
defines parental relationships through
marriage (rather than blood)
Emphasis on emotional satisfaction and
togetherness, begin to erode inherent
gender differences in what husbands and
wives expect and deserve
Togetherness The Couple
Society Sex
Children
Work
Marriage Self-fulfillment
Self
Who Wears the Pants?
Describes how the changing economy has

impacted several families in Alabama. Each
of the couples she interviews describes
their marriage in institutional terms.
The Couples:
Reuben and Patsy

Charles and Sarah
Rob and Connie
Reuben and Patsy
Patsy - the Family Services director

Reuben - Unemployed, looking
Reuben and Patsy
Reuben has a college degree and doesnt seem
especially preoccupied with machismo, so I asked him
why, given how many different kinds of jobs he has held,
he couldnt train for one of the jobs that he knew were
available: something related to schools, nursing or retail,
for example. One reason was obvious-those jobs dont
pay as much as he was accustomed to making- but he
said there was another. Were in the South, he told
me. A man needs a strong, macho job. Hes not going
to be a schoolteacher or a legal secretary or some
beauty-shop queen. Hes got to be a man.
Charles & Sarah
Charles - a former manager at the clothing

company
Sarah Beth - worked her way up in the
hospital
Charles & Sarah
Like everyone of their generation, I spoke
to, Charles and Sarah Beth Gettys both
insisted that Charles was still the head of
the household. I often asked couples why
the men got to retain the title if they
werent fulfilling most of the attending
duties. Sometimes they answered by
defining head as spiritual head, meaning
biblically ordained as the leader.
Rob & Connie
Rob - recently unemployed, in computers

Connie - a teacher
Delaying marriage because of Robs
uncertain economic circumstance
Rob & Connie
Connie told me: He is absolutely the guy who
says, I provide for my family. Im the man of
the house. Rob said then: Youre saying that as
if Im a dictator. Its not the whole sit-in-the-
kitchen-with-your-apron thing. But the way I
was brought up, its a mans responsibility to
take care of his family. Rob turned to me and
added, I dont want to make the queen
analogy, but my job is to make her the queen.
Connies Daughter
Abby is not the only one questioning the old rules. At
a Sunday Bible-study group I attended for teenage girls,
the mother who was teaching had the girls hold hands,
march in a circle and say: My husband will treat me
like the princess that I am. He will be the head of my
household. But the girls own ambitions seemed at
odds with that vision. One girl earlier confessed that
her biggest earthly temptation during her college years
was likely to be pursuing too many higher degrees.
Another was known to her friends in the group as the
future president. I got the sense that relying on a
man was not what they considered their best option.
The Rise of
Individualism
1965 Griswold v. Connecticut: Establishes
the right to privacy (located within the
penumbra of the Constitution) as
inherent in marriage, overturning the
Comstock Laws
1972 Eisenstadt v. Baird: extends this right
to all couples, irrespective of marital status
Griswold
The present case, then, concerns a relationship lying within
the zone of privacy created by several fundamental
constitutional guarantees. And it concerns a law which, in
forbidding the use of contraceptives, rather than regulating
their manufacture or sale, seeks to achieve its goals by means
having a maximum destructive impact upon that relationship...
Would we allow the police to search the sacred precincts of

marital bedrooms for telltale signs of the use of
contraceptives?
The very idea is repulsive to the notions of privacy

surrounding the marriage relationship.
Griswold
We deal with a right of privacy older than the Bill of
Rights -- older than our political parties, older than our
school system. Marriage is a coming together for better
or for worse, hopefully enduring, and intimate to the
degree of being sacred. It is an association that
promotes a way of life, not causes; a harmony in
living, not political faiths; a bilateral loyalty, not
commercial or social projects. Yet it is an association
for as noble a purpose as any involved in our prior
decisions.
Eisenstadt v. Baird
7 years after Griswold
Yet the marital couple is not an
independent entity with a mind and heart
of its own, but an association of two
individuals each with a separate intellectual
and emotional make up - Brennan
The right to privacy adheres not to the
marital couple (which is non-existent as a
moral entity) but to individuals
Social Changes: Sex
Effective Birth Control
For the first time in human history, sexual
pleasure is possible without the real
possibility of having a child
What had been envisioned as something
only to be used within marriage makes
possible entirely unimagined social
configurations!!
1960
The Pill
For the first time in history, women could

predictably separate sex from childbearing
By 1965, six million women were taking the
Pill.
By 1970, 60% of adult women were using
some form of effective contraception
Birth Control
Challenges Every
Concept of Marriage
Birth Control &
Marriage
Institutional: Allowed more women to commit
more of their lives to work. Childless marriages
also erode the institutional privilege of marriage
Companionate: Husbands and wives forced to re-
examine their own relationship without the
distraction of young children
Individualism: Unprecedented freedom to explore
mating partners and look for the right one
The Rise of Individualism
Everyone in the family has rights: children
and women too
1939-1969, leading journal on marriage and
family life published NO papers on family
violence
Minimal concept that individual rights could
be infringed within the family in a
meaningful way (i.e. requiring scrutiny)
Individualism & Feminism
1960s - Wife beating becomes an issue
for first time. First womens shelters
created
But, not until 1984, NY Supreme Court
finds that marital rape can occur
Not until 1994 that OJ spurns US Congress
to pass Violence Against Women Act. The
first law with real teeth.
Individualism and Divorce
1969 - California allows you to get a divorce even if

your spouse doesnt want to, on grounds of
irreconcilable differences (different States will use
different phrases) - NO FAULT DIVORCE
No fault term borrowed from auto insurance
But divorce rates were already rising rapidly by the
early 1960s
Individualism &
Cohabitation
Late 1960s, just 8 percent live together
prior to marriage
mid-1980s, 49%
The biggest change of all, perhaps
Yet, unlike other Western countries,
cohabitation proves quite unstable
50% break up within 2 years
co
de
60
be
1982 1995 2002 20062010
th
Confidence interval
GE
44 by
40 tw
40 38 36 re
wi
Percent
cu
20 A
11
9
7 m
3
pr
0 an
Currently married for the first time Currently cohabiting
ye
SOURCES: CDC/NCHS, National Survey of Family Growth, 20062010. Table 1 in this report.
at
an
Figure 1. Current marital and cohabiting status among women 1544 years of age, (F
United States: 1982, 1995, 2002, and 20062010
wo
Page 8 National Health Statistics Reports n Number 49 n March 22, 2012

Expressive Individualism
Life is about growing and changing as a
person, self-awareness and self-expression
Finding yourself throughout life
Spouses are free to grow and change
But what matters now is not just the
products of the marriage, but
Each persons own happiness
When relationships are about how two
adults feel, rather than raising children,
there is less need to formalize it in
marriage
The needs of children seem less important
as well
EI facilitates finding satisfaction outside of
marriage
the
20
6
Rate per 1,000 Population
5
Ch
4 Th
of
3 1,1
two
2 Fig
thr
1
by
0 Ca
1860 1880 1900 1920 1940 1960 1980 2000 ac
Year the
Fig. 1. Annual U.S. divorce rates from 1867 to 2000 (based on Bramlett & we
Mosher, 2002, and Emery, 1999b). eva
Togetherness The Couple
Society Sex
Children
Work
Marriage Self-fulfillment
Self
The Super
Relationship
While marriage is losing much of its broad
public and institutional character, it is
gaining popularity as a SuperRelationship, an
intensely private spiritualized union,
combining sexual fidelity, romantic love,
emotional intimacy and togetherness.
Whitehead and Popenoe 2001

Self-discovery and self-
realization
I couldnt be right in any relationship until
I got more in touch with who I was, and
what I needed and what I wanted. And
getting to that place for me has been the
real journey, the real task, where I realize
that the main relationship I needed to have
and the real love had to be with myself.
On the Institution
On her divorce from Chris Judd
I think when you come out of something
that was [so] intense you kind of just want
a security blanket and cover yourself
completely.
Marc made me feel safe.
Marriage = stability (financial, social)
On Companionship
When we were first
married, most of the time,
and even before the babies
were born, we were able to
go everywhere together. I
wasnt working as much. So
we kind of had that.
Institution vs. Companionship vs.
We had the first three years of our

marriage just for us. I wasnt working,
it was really mainly about him. Then
we got pregnant. Then it became
about the kids. And then I started
working again.
Dreams of Super-
relationship
I always dreamed of having a family,
and still being vibrant in my career,
and having a partner who did his own
things, and doing things together.
Making each other bigger.
Still wanting the Super-
relationship
But I remain an optimist about love. I
believe in love...I am positive -
determined to move forward with my
life, bring up my babies, and do the
best job I can as a mother, entertainer,
and person... I feel strong.
Self-discovery and self-
realization
I couldnt be right in any relationship until I
got more in touch with who I was, and what
I needed and what I wanted. And getting to
that place for me has been the real journey,
the real task, where I realize that the main
relationship I needed to have and the real
love had to be with myself.
Children of Divorce
Marriage Data
Who is Getting
Married?
The most important
chart in this lecture
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Divorce is on the
Rise
Marrying Later Median age
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In years
women are getting 29
is
married later, shifting
marriage to an act of 28
MEN
later adulthood and Age at first
increasing the marriage 27
oa number of births to
an unmarried parents. 26
Sources: U.S Census 25

Bureau; National Marriage
Project; Pew Research
re NEW 24
Center
MOTHERS
Age at 23
first birth
22
WOMEN
are
Age at first 21
marriage
ess
1970 1980 1990 2000 2010
Delayed Marriage
Fewer people are getting married
By age 40, 17% of women are still
unmarried in 2009, compared to 10% in
1986
Median age of marriage has increased
1950 - 23 years for men and 20 for women
2009 - 28 for men and 26 for women
Divorce is Leveling Off
.

historic lows. 15
NEW
MARRIAGES
10
World
Depression Boom 5
NEW
DIVORCES
1880 1900 1920 1940 1960 1980 2000 10

1880 1900 1920 1940 1960 1980 2000 10

a sharp increase in the 1960s married couples
World Vietnam
and 70s. War II War
20
Great
Depression Baby
Boom 15
World
War I 10
1880 1900 1920 1940 1960 1980 2000 10

Sources: National Bureau of Economic Research; Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Divorce and Remarriage
Marriages which end last a median of 8
years (7 years to separation and 1 more to
divorce)
Median age of divorce is about 30 for
women
50% of those remarrying after their first
divorce do so by their mid-30s
Median age of second marriage was 36 for
men and 33 for women (2009)
Remarriage
Of all marriages in 2008-2009, only 65%

were first timers
The remaining 1/3 of marriages involved at
least one previously married person
What Do Americans
Think About All This?
The Pew Research Center

The Decline of Marriage and Rise of New
Families
Pew report
Survey of 2,691 adults in October 2010 via

phone
Analysis of 50 years of US Census data
Family and Gender
The role of women has changed

dramatically in 40 years
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The Male Breadwinner Female Homemaker
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Egalitarian marriage (both working)
preferred by 62%
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providers to be good marriage mates
Only 33% think that women need to be
good earners to be good spouses
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Class Based Decline in
Marriage
Marriage gap aligns with Income
(Education) Gap
Marriage is declining in general, but remains
the norm for adults with college education
and good income
The less-advantaged WANT to marry, but
DO SO less often
Class and Education
College graduates - 64% married
High school only - 48% married
Income Gap between married and
unmarried has grown dramatically. Partly
due to more wives working (61% in 2008
vs. 32% in 1960) and partly due to
education. Income Gap between HS and
College grads:
1960 - 12% (College ed > HS ed)
2008 - 41% (College ed> HS ed)
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Children and Marriage Dont
go Together Anymore
1960 - 5% of children born to unmarried
mothers
2008 - 41% !!
Contributes the decreasing fraction of
children living in two parent households
Education
Percentage of women married when they
give birth to their first child
Education level %
College 92
Some College 62
High School 43
Sex and Stigma
1960: Up to 1/3 of marriages were

precipitated by pregnancy
Seen as less necessary, but more by those
with lower educational attainment
very much in the midst of it.
ng of
Birthrates
who Fewer women are becoming mothers, and those who Birthrate
do are having fewer children. Per 1,000 women
in each age group
tudies
ied a
100
ALL WOMEN
Age 1544 75
more TEENAGERS
as Age 1519
50
lies Vietnam
Baby
World War
Boom
War II UNMARRIED 25
Great
Depression WOMEN Great
Age 1544 Recession
1920 1930 1940 1950 1960 1970 1980 1990 2000 2010
More than 40 percent of American babies are now born Number of births
to unmarried women, mostly women in their 20s and In millions
early 30s.
1920 1930 1940 1950 1960 1970 1980 1990 2000 2010
More than 40 percent of American babies are now born Number of births
to unmarried women, mostly women in their 20s and In millions
early 30s.
4
TO ALL
WOMEN
3
Great
Recession
Vietnam
Baby War 2
TO UNMARRIED
World Boom WOMEN
War II
Great
1
Depression TO TEENAGERS
1920 1930 1940 1950 1960 1970 1980 1990 2000 2010
Source: National Center for Health Statistics
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Money, Love, Marriage
Financial stability is not what we think of

when it comes to marriage
Financial stability seems to determine
whether we marry
What we think we do, and what we

actually do, are different
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Marriage is
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2000
NYT - I Do
The secret to their success resides in part in
old-fashioned math: strength in numbers.
Together, the Faulkners earn nearly three
times as much as what Ms. Faulkner earns
alone. Their high five-figure income ranks
them near the 75th percentile hardly rich,
but better off than nearly three of four
families with children.
The Fading Allure of
Marriage
We can all stick our chests out and say, We

dont need no man to raise our babies, Ms.
Noble-Garner said. I would honestly tell
them, Honey, yes you do.You might not need
him financially, but your baby needs a
father.
Marriage Promotion
Movement
A mixed bag of conservatives and centrists,
religious leaders and intellectuals
Some believe marriage based family is
morally superior
Others believe it is sociologically superior
- i.e. more benefits to children and society
Diversity Defenders
Reject the moral argument (as patriarchal,

reactionary)
Argue that if the state provided enough
support to single parents, the sociological
gains could be made
Promote a European model of support
Welfare Reform 1996
Marriage is the foundation for a successful
society
Marriage is an essential institution of a
successful society that promotes the
interest of children
2006 Healthy Marriage Initiative, 150
million / year for 5 years to promote
marriage
2012 GOP Platform
Should they marry?
Divorce Risk: Age
Probability (%) of marriage ending in divorce
After 5 yrs After 10 yrs After 15 yrs

Total 20 33 43
<18 yrs 29 48 59
18-19 24 40 49
20-24 17 29 36
>25 yrs 15 24 35
Bramlett & Mosher 2002

Page 8 National Health Statistics Rep
Less than High school Some Bachelor's

1.0 high school diploma college degree
0.8 0.78
0.65
0.6
Probability
0.54 0.54
0.49 0.47
0.39 0.41
0.4
0.2
0.0
Women Men
SOURCES: CDC/NCHS, National Survey of Family Growth, 20062010. Tables 5 and 6 in this report.
Figure 5. Probability that a first marriage will remain intact (without disruption) for 20
years among women and men 2244 years of age by education: United States, 20062010
Percent married at age
.5
1960 1980 2007

0
Whites, 1960 Whites, 1980 Whites, 2007

1
.5
0
20 40 60 80 20 40 60 80 20 40 60 80
var1
High School and Below Some College
College or more
WOMEN'S EDUCATION AND FAMILY BEHAVIOR: TRENDS IN MARRIAGE, DIVORCE AND FERTILITY
Adam Isen Betsey Stevenson
Working Paper 15725 http://www.nber.org/papers/w15725
1
1 1960
.5
.5
0
20 40 60 80 20 40 60 80 20
var1
High School and Below So
College or more
0
20 40 60 80
Percent Curren
2007
Whites, 1960 Whites, 1980
1
.5
0
20 40 60 80 20 40 60 80
var1
High School and Below
College or more
80 20 40 60 80
Divorce Risk: Education
Probability (%)
Total 20 33 43
Less than HS 24 42 51
HS 22 36 45
More than HS 17 29 38

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0.65
0.6
Probability
0.54 0.54
0.49 0.47
0.39 0.41
0.4
0.2
0.0
Women Men
Class Based Decline in
Marriage
Marriage gap aligns with Income
(Education) Gap
Marriage is declining in general, but remains
the norm for adults with college education
and good income
The less-advantaged WANT to marry, but
DO SO less often
W;2A6 HV
Marriage is
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Marital Decline
Hypothesis
Marriage as an institution is weaker than
before
Largely due to Individualisms impact
The decline of marriage is bad for adults,
children and society
Society needs to intervene
Marital Resilience
Hypothesis
Marriage has changed, but not necessarily
for the worse
We are not excessively selfish or
individualistic
Recent changes in marital life have had
few negative consequences
We should support all types of families
Should We Get
Married?
Children of divorced families may approach

this question differently than children from
intact families
What does this actually mean, in 2013?
Children Bring Into Their Own Marriages What They Learn
from Their Parents
Mom Marriage Dad
Child
Dating Husband
??
***
Wife
Learning Objectives
To be able to summarize Coontzs account
of the evolution of dating
To be able to describe three ways in which
a gender double standard continues to
exist in todays romantic culture
To describe the data that shows how
variable the term hook up is
Readings
England et al., Hooking Up and Forming Romantic Relationships on Todays College
Campuses, in The Gendered Society Reader, ed. Kimmel & Aronson, 2008.
Armstrong, et al., Is hooking up bad for young women?, contexts, vol. 9 (3), pp. 22-27,
2010
Taylor, Kate Sex on Campus: She Can Play that Game, Too NYT July 12, 2013
Wood, Molly OKCupid Plays with Love in User Experiments NYT July 28, 2014
Kitroeff, Natalie, In Hookups, Inequality Still Reigns NYT Nov 11, 2013
Eastwick, Paul & Hunt, Lucy So Youre Not Desireable NYT May 16, 2014
Leland, John Think of Him as a Wingman for Hire NYT May 16, 2014
Schoeneman, Deborah Whats He Really Like? Check the Lulu App NYT Nov 20,
2013
Williams, Alex, The End of Courtship? NYT Jan 11, 2013

Dating...or
Mate Selection
Love Marriages or Couple arranged
marriages are a relatively recent
phenomena, in the scope of human history
Mirrors the rise of Individualism and the
emotional ideals of Companionate Marriage
Replaces more traditional modes of
marriage
Mate Selection
Around the world, and within the multicultural
societies of America and Western Europe, there
is a tension between Institutional traditions
embodied in arranged marriages and
Individualist traditions in love marriages
Even among the most individualist communities,
the desire for parental and social approval is high
Ongoing low rates of heterogamy
Coontz: On dating
19th Century: The acceptance of a companionate
mode of love led to formalized modes of mate
selection
Controlled by a young womans family: invitations
would be extended by a young woman to suitable
men, to visit the family home
High degree of supervision, interaction with woman
as well as her family
Coontz: on dating
Prior to the late 18th/19th century, mate selection
was not an individual affair
Families and other interested parties in the
community would essentially suggest arrangements
There was some room for individual choice - usually
in the form of a veto - but the driving force was
family/community preference & more institutional
type needs
Land, money, connections, stability
Coontz: On dating
19th Century: A hybrid of individual
preference and family/institutional needs
This tension plays out in fiction and drama
throughout the 19th and 20th century
A woman trying to win over both the
love of the man and the acceptance of
her family
Coontz: 20th Century
Changes
Urbanization
Lack of supervision
Increased co-mingling of the sexes
Consumer culture and disposable income
Young couples can now go out to spend time
with one another
A shift in the locus of control, from a woman and her
family to the man and his spending power
Instead of inviting a man over for lemonade to sit in a
living room
The man now offers to take the woman out for a
soda, or to a silent picture
Dating evolves with the emergence of leisure
culture
By the 1920s, a highly sexualized dating culture
has emerged that is in many ways indistinguishable
from the dating culture of the 1970s
Many perceived the automobile as essentially a
bedroom with wheels
Automobiles make practices like Lovers Lane
possible
Sexualized dating culture that emerges in the 20s
and again in the 60s/70s creates a double standard
for women
On the one hand: women are sexually liberated,
seen as having legitimate sexual needs and being
capable of making their own choices
On the other hand: women are still expected to
control the pace at which sexual exploration
proceeds
Coontz: dating and sex
20th century: turn away from the Victorian/19th
Century cult of female purity
That women were sex-less and pure, and that
men were corrupters with sexual needs
20th century retains the idea female purity
Women are expected to be more sexual, but
not too sexual
What can we expect in the 21st century?
Hooking Up
Hooking up
Does anyone Date anymore?
The idea that Dating is the natural way to
find a partner is tied to the ahistorical way
that mid-century norms about family
development continue to influence our
views
Replaced by hook up culture
Hooking up
Hooking up is the perfect phrase because
it is can mean virtually anything, and thus is
easily applied to the ever shifting
expectations and norms of a post-
institutional (e.g. post-modern) relationship
world
College students use it to describe every
level of sexual behavior
Hook Up Hysteria
Unhooked?
Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and
Lose at Both (2007) Laura Sessions Stepp
Casual sexual activity - hook up culture - contributes to

low self-esteem, depression, alcoholism, and eating disorders
Girls ...stripping in the student center in front of dozens of

boys they didnt know.
...young people have virtually abandoned dating
Youth (you) are sex-crazed and on the road to ruin

Maybe It Is Gossip
CDC reports that rate of sexual
intercourse has actually decreased among
9-12th graders from 1991-2007
Number of sex partners also decreased
Condom use has increased
Drug use also declining (see
monitoringthefuture.org)
New York Times, Feb 2, 2012, Parker-Pope
Page 6 [ Series 23, No. 31
Fre
1988 1995 2002 20062010 confidence interval
Act
70
60
60 55
expe
51 least
49 they
50 46 46
43 42 Rece
com
40
Percent
STD
perc
30
time
2006
20 and
for n
10 2006
with
0 with
Female Male
mon
NOTE: See Table 1.
SOURCE: CDC/NCHS, National Survey of Family Growth, 20062010.
for m
of th
Figure 1. Never-married females and males aged 1519 who have ever had sexual 37%
intercourse: United States, 19882010 signi
2006
What Is Actually Happening?
Paula England surveyed 14,000 college students

72% of seniors report at least one hook-up by
senior year
But 80% of these students have hooked up less
than once/semester
20% of students have not had intercourse by senior
year
How often do you
hook up?
Number of Hook-ups By Senior Year - Percentage Distribution Among College Seniors
50
n=14,000
40
Percentage
30
20
10
0
1-3 4-9 10+
Total # of Hook-Ups in College, by Senior Year
Types of sex act in
40
most recent hook-up
n=2,904
30
20
10
0
Kissing & Petting Groping Genitals Oral Sex Intercourse
Level of Sex Behavior England, et al., 2007
How well do you know
your hook-up?
Number of prior hook-ups with most recent hook-up partner
60
50
40
Percent
30
20
10
0
0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10+
Ive hooked up with this same person this many times before last time
Dating Didnt Die
Hook-ups have not replaced relationships
69% of seniors report having been in a
college relationship of at least six-months
duration
The distinction is around issues of
exclusivity and the label girlfriend or
boyfriend
What IS New?
Not that youth are doing it, but perhaps the
way in which they are doing it
Oral sex is seen as a less risky form of sexual
activity, and thus more common
Friendship is prioritized over romance
(friends with benefits)
Is the prioritization of friendship reflective of
the companionate ideal?
What Is New
The value of a relationship in the sense of a
committed girlfriend/boyfriend experience is
diminished
A growing number of women surveyed report that
they dont necessarily want relationships in college
Obligations of friends, working, and studying leave
little time for the work of commitment and
intimacy
Women and men both report feeling burdened by
demands of a partner
Who needs a boyfriend?
On one hand, a hook up culture allows young
women in particular to participate in sex without
compromising newly found gains in education and
work
In theory a hook-up culture should promote greater
equality between the sexes - a truly value free
market model of sexual exchange
But its more complicated...
The Gender Double Standard
What percentage of men or women achieved orgasm during their last hook-up?
100
n=2,693
75
Percent
50
25
0
Hand Oral Intercourse Both
Women Men
Double Standards
Did the Woman Orgasm: Male/Female Report from Last Hook-Up by Type of Sex Act
80
n=2,630
60
Percent
40
20
0
Her Report His Report

Double Standards: After the hook-up
Percentage Who Either Had Less Respect for Their Partner or Felt Less Respect By a
Partner
60
n=2,931
45
Percent
30
15
0
I Have Respected Someone Less I Have Felt Less Respected
Female Male
Women have better sex in
relationships
For Women, First Hook-Up Orgasm vs. Relationship Orgasm, most recent sex act
90
Hook Up n=1,865
Relationship n=1,276
67.5
Percent
45
22.5
0
Hook Up Relationship
Who asks Who out?
On Your Most Recent Date, Who Initiated The Date?
90
n=2,870
67.5
Percentage
45
22.5
0
The Woman The Man
Children of Divorce
More Marriage Data
&
How to understand Marital Quality
Organizing questions
How are educational attainment, marriage,
economic attainment, and marital quality
inter-related?
Why would the following lead to greater
marital satisfaction and lower risks of
divorce:
An older age of marriage
Greater educational attainment
Greater economic attainment
Chief Justice Waite
Marriage, while from its very nature a sacred
obligation, is nevertheless, in most civilized nations, a
civil contract, and usually regulated by law. Upon it
society may be said to be built, and out of its
fruits spring social relations and social
obligations and duties, with which government is
necessarily required to deal. In fact, according as
monogamous or polygamous marriages are allowed,
do we find the principles on which the government
of the people, to a greater or less extent, rests.
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Yet the marital couple is not an

independent entity with a mind and heart
of its own, but an association of two
individuals each with a separate intellectual
and emotional make up - Brennan
Should they marry?
Divorce Risk: Age
Probability (%) of marriage ending in divorce

Total 20 33 43
<18 yrs 29 48 59
18-19 24 40 49
20-24 17 29 36
>25 yrs 15 24 35


0.8 0.78
0.65
0.6
Probability
0.54 0.54
0.49 0.47
0.39 0.41
0.4
0.2
0.0
Women Men
Percent married at age
.5
1960 1980 2007

0
Whites, 1960 Whites, 1980 Whites, 2007

1
.5
0
20 40 60 80 20 40 60 80 20 40 60 80
var1
High School and Below Some College
College or more
WOMEN'S EDUCATION AND FAMILY BEHAVIOR: TRENDS IN MARRIAGE, DIVORCE AND FERTILITY
Adam Isen Betsey Stevenson
Working Paper 15725 http://www.nber.org/papers/w15725
1
1 1960
.5
.5
0
20 40 60 80 20 40 60 80 20
var1
High School and Below So
College or more
0
20 40 60 80
Percent Curren
2007
Whites, 1960 Whites, 1980
1
.5
0
20 40 60 80 20 40 60 80
var1
High School and Below
College or more
80 20 40 60 80
What is a Good
Marriage?
Marital Instability over Life
Course (MIOLC) Study
Survey in 1980 and 2000, asking the same
questions of a nationally representative
sample of Americans
During this period, the divorce culture
seems to have stabilized
MIOLC: Methods
A random-digit dialing method to call 2,034

married persons in 1980, younger than 55
1,322 people actually participated, a high
number for this type of method
2000 - Survey of Marriage and Family Life,
about the same numbers
MIOLC
Looks closely at several dimensions of
social life and how these impact marital
quality
Individualism
Work/Economy
Gender Relations
Social Integration and Social Attitudes
The Good Marriage
5 dimensions
Marital happiness - positive feelings about the

marriage
Marital interaction - day to day overlap in time

and space
Marital conflict - conflict behaviors
Marital problems - conflict attitudes
Divorce proneness
Demographic Trends
Age
Cohabitation
Gender Roles and Work
Financial stability
Age
Young marriage
Less time choosing a good partner
Fewer financial resources
Less mature psychologically (conflict resolution
and problem solving)
Younger age -> more problems
Possible explanation for leveling of divorce rates
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Money & Feminism
Does increased work by wives create

conflict within marriage
What are the gender expectations?
Are working wives more likely to challenge
mens traditional authority in the family,
especially as they make more money
Gender Equity & Marriage
Ono (1998): If wife earns more than husband, then
womens work stabilizes marriage
Sayer & Bianchi (2000) 3000 working women
Marital satisfaction and commitment were better
predictors of divorce
No impact of womens economic ability when
satisfaction and commitment controlled for
Economic independence allows women to escape IF
NEEDED, but is not itself a motivation for divorce
MIOLC Study:
Gender & Work
Increase in wives working hours had little
to no impact on marital quality
When womens work loads met their
expectations, marital quality was highest
In dual-earner families, it was the husbands
work that was perceived to cause the
greatest stress
MIOLC: Gender & Work
The most common preference among married women
was for part-time work, reflecting the strong pull of
family obligations
Married women now account for 1/3 of family income
(on average), up from 1/5 in 1980
Married couples are in better financial shape now, but
at the expense of more work-family stress, especially
for the working class
MIOLC: Social Class
Matters
Class differences dominate
Among educated working wives, work is
generally beneficial to the relationship
Career oriented
Satisfying work
Well paid
MIOLC: Social Class
Matters
Among the working class
Few college degrees, no career options
Unsatisfying work, lower pay
Greater stress and more vulnerable to
new stresses
Less marital quality
MIOLC: Social Class
Matters
Middle class couples, compared with
working class couples, have more liberal
views about gender
More egalitarian division of household
labor
More decision making equality
All translate to better quality marriages
Its Money that Matters
Employed men - more likely to marry and stay

married, probabilities increase with earning
Men under economic strain
More hostile
Less warm & supportive towards wives
Cohabitation
In the US, most couples who marry live

together first.
Highly variable:
Short and long cohabitations
Children or no children
Cohabitation
Reasons include: assessment of partner

suitability for longterm living, economic
convenience, lack of barriers, sexual
freedom
Cohabitation
1980 - 16% cohabit before marriage

2010- 44%!!
Increase across all groups: age, education,
religiosity, marital order, ethnicity
Cohabitation
Income and education do not affect if you
have EVER cohabited
Income does affect if you are CURRENTLY
cohabiting, suggesting that lower income
people remain in cohabitation longer, while
higher income people move out of
cohabitation into marriage.
Cohabitation
40% of children spend some time in a

cohabiting family by age 12.
64% of cohabiters saw it as a step towards
marriage
Higher income individuals are more likely
to see it this way
Cohabitation
1/3 of cohabiters report that finances were
an important consideration for their
decision to move in
In 2009, the number of cohabiters
increased by 1 million!
2009 - 6.7 million
2010 - 7.5 million
Significantly higher share of unemployed
men cohabiting in 2010
Cohabitation - MIOLC
Data
Not associated with differences in Marital

Happiness or Interaction
Higher levels of Conflict, Problems, and
Divorce Proneness
Cohabitation
Many researchers have found that couples

who cohabit before marriage are more
likely to divorce
Cohabitation also associated with more
discord and less perceived stability within
marriage
Cohabitation -
Selection?
Historically, cohabiters were people with
less conventional views of family life and
marriage
Thus more prone to divorce
As cohabitation has grown more
conventional, this effect should diminish.
That is, cohabiters are more and more like
everyone else
Cohabitation Remains
Associated with Divorce Risk
This risk of divorce with prior cohabitation

has remained constant across several
decades
More People in
Marriage are Children
of Divorce
Cohabitation - MIOLC
Data
The factor that most accounts for the rise
in cohabitation is parental divorce
Is this because children of divorce are more
cautious about mate selection?
Or that they have less traditional views of
premarital and marital relations?
Erosion of norm of lifelong marriage?
Married Couples
1980 2000
4% 8%
23%
31%
61%
73%
Neither parents divorced

One spouse parents divorced
Both divorced
2nd Generation Effects
Being a child of divorce

Increases risk of your own divorce
Less happiness and more problems in
their own marriage
Children of Divorce
Parents who divorce may model poor
communication, problem solving or conflict
resolution skills
Divorce demonstrates to children that
divorce is an acceptable solution to an
unhappy marriage
Lower threshold at which adult children
consider divorce when they themselves
encounter problems
Divorce Risk: Family Origin
Probability (%)
At age 14 After 5 yrs After 10 yrs After 15 yrs
Intact 2
17 27 34
parents
Other 27 43 53
Copen, Daniels,Vespa & Mosher

2012
Family of Origin Impact
on Marriage
Intact Family Other
70
66
52.5
47
35
17.5
0
Marriage Surivival Rate
Women aged 15-44, 2006-2010

Cohabitation
or
Whats so special about
putting a ring on it?
Impact of Cohabitation on
Marriage (15 years)
Cohabited and Engaged Cohabited not engaged
Did not cohabit
70
65
63
60
58
55
53
50
Women aged 15-44, 2006-2010

Impact of Cohabitation on
Marriage (15 years)
Cohabited and Engaged Cohabited not engaged
Did not cohabit
70
65 65
63
60
55 55
50
Men aged 15-44, 2006-2010

Cohabitation & Education
No HS HS Some College BA/BS Masters
70
63
58.3
52.5
42.1
35 39.5
36.6
17.5 20
15.5
11.6
6.8 5.5
0
Cohabitation Rate Marriage Rate
Women aged 15-44, 2006-2010

Organizing questions
Cohabitation
Why would cohabitation before marriage
lead to lower marital quality?
Why do people cohabit?
What happens once they cohabit?
Vampires & Humans
Heterogamy = marrying someone with

different traits
Homogamy = ...
Heterogamy
Most people still marry into the same age,
religion, ethnicity/race, and level of
education
Yet... with greater choice, heterogamy has
increased, in certain ways
Interracial marriages doubled from 4% to
9% from 1980-2000
Similar change for age
Conflict related to these two factors
decreases
Education
Education level is the great decider

Of income, divorce risk, and mate selection
Education
1980 fewer than 66% of adults were high
school grads, fewer than 16% are college
grads
2000: 80% are high school grads, 24% are
college grads
Education level protects marriage
Greater than 4 years difference in
education associated with less happiness
Education
Education creates strengths
Effective communication and problem
solving
More self-satisfaction and economic
prospects
Better mental and physical health
Marriage survival rates
to 15 years
No HS HS Some College BA/BS Masters
80
79 78
60
53 54
51
40
20
0
Marriage Survival Rates
Women aged 15-44, 2006-2010

Education
Percentage of women married when they
give birth to their first child
Education level %
College 92
Some College 62
High School 43
Whats so great about
college?
College Education
Economic security?
Selection for certain personality traits that
do better in relationships?
Calmer, less impulsive, lower rates of
substance abuse, etc.
Do you actually learn things that make you
better at relationships?
Same Sex Marriage
Children of Divorce
USA
DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act 1996)

allows states to refuse to recognize same-
sex marriages performed in other states
USA 2015
Same-sex marriage legal nationwide since June
26, 2015, when the United States Supreme
Court ruled in Obergfell v. Hodges that state-
level bans on same-sex marriage are
unconstitutional.
Refusal to recognize those marriages performed

in other jurisdictions violates the Due Process
and the Equal Protection clauses of the
Fourteenth Amendment of the United States
Constitution.
2013
Prior to Obergefell, same-sex marriage was legal
to at least some degree in thirty-eight states
Until United States v. Windsor, it was only legal in

12 states and Washington D.C..
Beginning in July 2013, over forty federal and

state courts cited Windsor to strike down state
bans on the licensing and/or recognition of same-
sex marriage.
2013
2015
The Decline and Rise of
An Institution
Despite the numerous factors weakening
the institution of marriage
The same-sex marriage movement offers a
surprising defense of the blended
institutional/individual idea of marriage
How My View on Gay Marriage Changed - NYTimes.com http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/23/opinion/how-my-view-on
June 22, 2012
How My View on Gay Marriage

Changed
By DAVID BLANKENHORN
IN my 2007 book, The Future of Marriage, and in my 2010 court testimony concerning
Proposition 8, the California ballot initiative that defined marriage as between a man and a
woman, I took a stand against gay marriage. But as a marriage advocate, the time has come
for me to accept gay marriage and emphasize the good that it can do. Id like to explain why.
I opposed gay marriage believing that children have the right, insofar as society makes it
possible, to know and to be cared for by the two parents who brought them into this world. I
didnt just dream up this notion: the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child,
which came into force in 1990, guarantees children this right.
Marriage is how society recognizes and protects this right. Marriage is the planets only
institution whose core purpose is to unite the biological, social and legal components of
Blankenhorn: Respect for
Love
For me, the most important is the equal dignity of

homosexual love. I dont believe that opposite-sex
and same-sex relationships are the same, but I do
believe, with growing numbers of Americans, that
the time for denigrating or stigmatizing same-sex
relationships is over.
Blankenhorn
For example, once we accept gay marriage, might

we also agree that marrying before having children
is a vital cultural value that all of us should do more
to embrace? Can we agree that, for all lovers who
want their love to last, marriage is preferable to
cohabitation?
The Institution of
Same-Sex Marriage
In America, AIDS affected primarily gay men
for the first 10-15 years of the epidemic
Same-sex partners were denied many
institutional privileges accorded
heterosexual couples who were married
The Shadow of AIDS
Visiting rights at hospitals
Rights to withdraw treatment in terminal
illness
Funeral arrangements
Evictions
Shared health insurance
Same-sex Marriage
Same-sex couples want
Recognition of the validity of their
companionate relationships
Access to the Institutional benefits of
marriage
Thus, same-sex marriage rights are about
BOTH institutional and companionate
concepts of marriage
Hawaii
1990 - Hawaii, 3 same sex couples request
marriage licenses. Denied
Lower court upholds denial
1993 - Hawaii Supreme Court rules that
there must be a compelling state interest,
case is reheard
1996 - testimony begins
Baehr v. Miike
1996- Congress passes Defense of

Marriage Act
Hawaii - Social scientists are key witnesses
DOMA
DOMA essentially defines marriage at the

Federal level
Seeks to define it for more than 1,000
Federal laws
DOMA
According to GAO, 1138 rights and protections are
conferred to US Citizens upon marriage
SS benefits
Veterans benefits
Insurance
Visitation
estate taxes
Immigration
DOMA - Section 2
Section 2. Powers reserved to the states
No State, territory, or possession of the United
States, or Indian tribe, shall be required to give
effect to any public act, record, or judicial
proceeding of any other State, territory,
possession, or tribe respecting a relationship
between persons of the same sex that is treated
as a marriage under the laws of such other State,
territory, possession, or tribe, or a right or claim
arising from such relationship.
DOMA - Section 3
(Unconstitutional)
Definition of marriage
In determining the meaning of any Act of
Congress, or of any ruling, regulation, or
interpretation of the various administrative
bureaus and agencies of the United States, the
word 'marriage' means only a legal union between
one man and one woman as husband and wife,
and the word 'spouse' refers only to a person of
the opposite sex who is a husband or a wife.
DOMA
The House Report published to accompany
the law concluded that it is both
appropriate and necessary for Congress to
do what it can to defend the institution of
traditional heterosexual marriage... the
effort to redefine marriage to extend to
homosexual couples is a truly radical
proposal that would fundamentally alter the
institution of marriage.
DOMA
The House Report continues:

DOMA expresses both moral disapproval
of homosexuality, and a moral conviction
that heterosexuality better comports with
traditional (especially Judeo-Christian)
morality.
Same-Sex Marriage
An Institutional Marriage?
A Companionate Marriage?
An Expressive Individualist Marriage?
Hawaii - Defense of
Heterosexual Marriage
Eggebeen: Well, to me its the... the conclusion is
clear that marriage represents a gateway to
becoming a parent. When people get married, by
an extraordinary margin they intend to become
parents.
Attorney for the State: So in the minds of people

marriage would be synonymous with having
children?
Eggebeen: When 98% of the married individuals

intend to become parents, I would say thats a very
valid conclusion
Hawaii - For Gay Marriage
Attorney for Couples: ...why do people get
married?
Schwartz: ...What people think of when
they want marriage is they want
companionship, they want love, they want
trust, the want someone who will be with
them through thick and thin...its an
aspiration for - for intimacy and security.
Children not as
central...
Schwartz: Yes having children is a deep
desire of the majority of young Americans...
But it isnt, I think the reason that everyone
gets married. They get married to have this
partnership. It is a reason among many that
people want to be married.
Hawaii
1996 - Same-sex marriage is allowed
(constitutional)
1998 - Hawaii voters amend state constitution to

restrict marriage to between men and women
1997 - Vermont allows civil unions
2004 - Massachusetts - same-sex marriage legal
2007- more than half of states amend

Constitutions to prohibit same sex marriage
2008- CT marriage
Windsor v. US
Edith Windsor and Thea Spyer

Windsor & Spyer
Edith Windsor and Thea Spyer met in NYC
in 1963
Registered as domestic partners when that
became legal for same-sex couples in 1993
Concerned about Spyers health, they
travelled to Ontario, Canada, to wed in
1997
Windsor & Spyer
The State of New York recognizes their

Canadian marriage as legal
Spyer dies in 2009, leaving her entire estate
to Windsor.
Windsor does not qualify for the spousal
exemption of Federal Estate Tax
$363,053
Windsor
Not a surviving spouse

Windsor sues IRS for a refund, contending
DOMA violates the 5th amendment
5th Amendment
Nor shall be compelled in any criminal case

to be a witness against himself
Nor be deprived of life, liberty, or

property, without due process of law
Nor shall private property be taken for
public use, without just compensation.
DOMA
October 2012, the 2nd Circuit Court of
Appeals struck down Section 3 in Windsor
v. US - Heightened scrutiny
Meanwhile, Obama instructs the Dept. of
Justice to continue enforcing DOMA,
ensuring a show down in the Supreme
Court
DOMA
US Supreme Court considers 5 challenges

to DOMA, ultimately accepts just Windsor
Same Sex Marriage?
What are the arguments?

The Decision -
Kennedy
...until recent years, many citizens had not
even considered the possibility that two
persons of the same sex might aspire to
occupy the same status and dignity as that
of a man and woman in lawful marriage. (p.
13)
The Decision -
Kennedy
New York... decided that same-sex couples
should have the right to marry and so live
with pride in themselves and their union
and in a status of equality with all other
married persons.(p14)
Reflected in the New York election of 2011
Marriage Equality Act
The Decision -
Kennedy
Here the States decision to give this class

of persons the right to marry conferred
upon them a dignity and status of immense
import. (p 18)
The Decision -
Kennedy
The Federal Government uses this state-
defined class for the opposite purpose - to
impose restrictions and disabilities. That
result requires this Court now to address
whether the resulting injury and indignity
is a deprivation of an essential part of the
liberty protected by the Fifth Amendment.
(p19)
The Decision -
Kennedy
...marriage is more than a routine classification
for purposes of certain statutory benefits. Private
consensual sexual intimacy between two adult
persons of the same sex may not be punished by
the State, and it can form but one element in a
personal bond that is more enduring.
Quoting from his decision in Lawrence v. Texas
(2003) which overturned Bowers v. Hardwick
(1986).
The Decision -
Kennedy
By its recognition of the validity of same-
sex marriages performed in other
jurisdictions and then by authorizing same-
sex unions... and marriages, New York
sought to give further protection and
dignity to that bond.
The Decision -
Kennedy
For same-sex couples who wished to be
married, the State acted to give their lawful
conduct a lawful status.
This status is a far reaching legal
acknowledgment of the intimate relationship
between two people, a relationship deemed
by the State worthy of dignity in the
community equal with all other
marriages. (p 20)
The Decision -
Kennedy
...DOMA undermines both the public and
private significance of state sanctioned
same-sex marriages; for it tells these
couples, and all the world, that their
otherwise valid marriages are unworthy of
federal recognition. (p22-23)
The Decision -
Kennedy
DOMA demeans the couple... and it
humiliates tens of thousands of children
now being raised by same-sex couples.
DOMA makes it even more difficult for
the children to understand the integrity and
closeness of their own family and its
concord with other families... (p23)

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Children of Divorce

When I grow up Im going to marry

The interview with James, the day before

America has the highest rate of

Arkansas typifies the American pattern

Marriage and Divorce

1880 1900 1920 1940 1960 1980 2000 10

Divorce rates have also fallen, Divorce rate

Divorce rates have also fallen, Divorce rate

1880 1900 1920 1940 1960 1980 2000 10

About 1/2 of all divorcing couples have

The story of Divorce is really also a story

Concern in your parents generation

Marriage and Divorce

1880 1900 1920 1940 1960 1980 2000 10

Divorce rates have also fallen, Divorce rate

Marriage remains one of the fundamental

When you learn how much marriage is

Part 3 - Divorce, its impact on children

PLEASE put COD Fall 2016 in the subject

3 Multiple Choice Exams - each = 1/6

Cherlin A. The Marriage Go Round: The State of Marriage and

Clarke-Stewart A. and Brentano C. Divorce: Causes and

Hetherington EM. For Better or For Worse: Divorce

Ruhl, S. In the Next Room. (Theatre Communications

In the interview, consider asking the following questions:

How did you meet this person? Did it feel "natural" or

What are your expectations on a date? Are you looking for

How do people communicate their expectations to each

Do you thinking meeting people (romantically) is easier or

Does technology help or hurt the process of meeting

How did you learn to "date"- or are you just making it up

Files must be submitted in PDF format.

All papers MUST be handed in via NYU Classes. If you

2 points per day late

Make up exams are harder

Make an effort to come to class

Monday 10/17: Date Paper is DUE via NYU Classes, by 10 am

Tuesday 11/1/16: Exam 2- IN CLASS

Monday 11/21: Term paper due, by 9 pm

Tuesday 12/13: Exam 3 - IN CLASS - this will also be the LAST

Three Presidential Debates!

Coontz, pp., 1-49,

Parker-Pope, Tara. The Happy Marriage is the Me

Sales, Nancy Jo. Tinder and the Dawn of the Dating

Ramzy, A. & Rogers, K. Tinder doesnt contribute to

If you need to cancel, EVEN AT THE LAST MINUTE, please email

What might be weaknesses in this approach?

Advice for the young women of Princeton:

The ability to meet people outside of your closed

Its instant gratification, and a validation of your

Sex has become so easy, says John, 26.I can

Which vision of modern romance do you

The idea that romantic love or lust should

Love was the outcome of marriage, not

He who marries for love has good nights

Nothing is more impure than to love ones

Would a focus on romantic love ultimately

Marriage was part of the foundation of civil

By the 19th Century, America had become

Sex for childbearing ONLY

Coontz argues that by end of the 1700s

The marital bond becomes a place of

Albert dies, but not before...